• "The Watch": This was the kickoff scene for these scenes, and it didn't bode well when there was some hammy acting and dialogue. Basically, Jack's father gives him a watch, which belonged to his father. And no, he hadn't been keeping it in his ass. The moral of the scene is "Don't be a crappy father like I was."

  

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• "The Adventures of Hurley and Frogurt": Remember Neil, the frozen yogurt salesman from Season One? The producers always promised he'd become "more interesting." Sadly, that doesn't happen in this clip when he tells Hurley to make a move on Libby or he'll step in.

  

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• "King of the Castle": Ben and Jack play a friendly game of chess, and Ben promises Jack he won't try to stop him from leaving the island... but the island might. He also tells Jack that one day he might look back and regret leaving, and that if he does he hopes that he'll remember this conversation. Ooooooh! This is probably the best acted of all of these, and written by comics scribe Brian K. Vaughan to boot.

  

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• "The Deal": Juliet visits Michael while he's held captive by the Others, and tells him that he can believe Ben's offer of freedom. She confesses that she's staying there to help save her sister, and wouldn't he do anything to save Walt? Michael sure isn't happy about it.

  

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• "Operation: Sleeper": Juliet wakes Jack up and tells him she's been working with Ben all along, and that the other survivors have been right not to trust her. Off all the mobisobes, this one felt the rip-offiest.

  

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• "Room 23": Alarms and panic around the Barracks! Juliet tells Ben they need to let Walt go, but Ben tells her he's special and that Jacob wants him there. She shows him a pile of dead birds around Walt's window and wants to know what's so special about that. Is Walt's power the ability to get birds to commit suicide? We've seen it before, and we'll probaby see it again.

  

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• "Arzt & Crafts": It's Arzt! He's in his pre-dynamite phase, and he's trying to convince everyone on the beach not to move to the caves. That is until they hear the smoke monster's crazy horn bellow, and he craps his pants.

  

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• "Buried Secrets": Michael stumbles across Sun burying her fake California driver's license in the woods, and she confesses that she was going to leave Jin. They almost kiss, but then Vincent cockblocks them. That's right, the dog makes 'em stop.

  

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• "Tropical Depression": Arzt confesses to Michael that he lied about the monsoon season, and that he just wants to get off the island. He also tells him that he'd flown to Sydney to meet a woman he'd been chatting with on the internet, but she left him at the restaurant. Boy, this guy really has a depressing life.

  

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• "Jack, Meet Ethan. Ethan? Jack.": Jack meets Ethan while looking for medicine, and Ethan whips up a few tears and tells Jack his wife and child died in childbirth. Then he creepily stares at Claire. After he leaves, Jack creepily stares at Ethan, like "Hey... I know something is weird about that dude."

  

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• "Jin Has a Temper-Tantrum On the Golf Course": Jin has a Happy Gilmore freakout on the golf course after he can't sink a putt. While Hurley and Michael look on, he sinks to his knees and curses the ball. Probably the best scene out of all of them.

  

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• "The Envelope": Juliet burns her hand on something in the oven, and then almost confesses to Amelia and shows her Ben's x-rays, but someone rings the doorbell. Another exercise in frustration, since this one is really just a deleted scene. Okay, maybe this one was the big ripoff.

  

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• "So It Begins": There's a POV shot of Vincent running through the forest until Jack's dad stops him and tells him to go wake Jack up on the beach, just moments after the crash. So is Jack's dad alive? This is the only real "What the hell?!" clip in the whole bunch.

  

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The Wussification of Kate. Kate starts out as a tough girl on the lam from the law. She's ready to run into the jungle, face down boars, and crawl into hatches at the drop of a hat. Dressed in jeans and tee, she's prepared for anything. But when she is captured by the Others, she's forced to wear that filmy dress. Ben wants Kate to "look like a lady." Is this because Ben's messing with her mind, or because the writers want to tailor Kate into a more "feminine" character? In other words, is the the above clip about Ben finding a way to shame Kate or the show titillating viewers who want to see Evangeline Lilly in a skimpy frock? It's probably a little of both, but I fear it's weighted towards the latter. In any event, the moment when Kate stares at her new self in the mirror is way too "Very Personally Yours" for this writer's comfort, especially when Zeke whistles at her, then adds an ominous, "He's waiting." (For men, or women too young to have encountered VPY, it was a menstrual education pamphlet that told schoolgirls about the wonders of womanhood and Kotex pads.) The fact that the scene gives me the heebie-jeebies speaks to its effectiveness, yet it leads right into another criticism of the show.

Women=breeders. "He's waiting." There's something ominously sexual about that statement. Ben and his band of followers are obsessed with reproduction, given that the island seems to have rendered its inhabitants infertile. In order to follow that storyline, the female characters are either new mothers (Claire), pregnant (Sun), possibly pregnant (Kate, after a little caged delight with Sawyer), or working on getting women pregnant (Juliet). Um, hello? Some of us believe that biology is NOT destiny and would like some strong female characters who aren't defined by their breeding status. Or at least let us have the old Kate back. She may be wearing pants again, but she's gone all wimpy, locked as she is in the Jack/Kate/Sawyer soap opera triangle (or quadrangle, now that Jack and Juliet seem to be an item).
In fact, I'd prefer less soap opera and more smoke monsters across the board.

My nomination for worst episode: "Stranger In A Strange Land." I know that everybody loves to hate on season 3's "Exposé" ("Razzle dazzle!"). But while Lost's proclivity for introducing characters just to kill them off can be annoying, wasn't it satisfying to see Paulo and Nikki buried alive? When I first saw "Stranger in a Strange Land," I thought that my beloved Lost had jumped the shark. After all, the major point of the episode seems to be watching the fugtastic Bai Ling almost fall out of her clothing. Add whiny, annoying Jack to the mix, and I came very close to reaching for the remote. (There may be a gender divide here; when this episode came on during my friend's season 3 marathon party, three women suggested fast forwarding, while the male host frantically shushed us.)

My nomination for most annoying character: Juliet. Yesterday, somebody commented that he and his wife did a little jig when Charlie died. I disagreed with that, but if Juliet bit the big one, I'd do the same. She's a smarmy, smug uber-mom who calmly tells you what's best for you even though you're old enough to take care of yourself. She gets on my very last nerve every time she's on the screen, though I did enjoy seeing her husband get run over by a bus. Now, if only she did. Honorable mention: Jack.

A week from today, I'll be reviewing the season 4 opener. In the meantime, tell me about your hatiest Lost moments.