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posts about #kristinbell more → Fanboys Delivers the Best of Geekdom - and the Worst
Seven Signs of the Rise of Fan Glam
San Francisco, 12:52 PM
Tue Dec 8
28 posts in the last 24 hours
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09/15/09
Plus, I can see why they nearly removed the cancer subplot - it was offensively facile. So he's dying in 3 months but not on constant medication or in any pain or looking the least bit unwell, and hearty enough to climb walls with a grappling hook? Don't his parents worry about him disappearing for a few days? Add to this the fact that he can die happy after seeing THAT horrible film...it's just pathetic.
02/06/09
02/06/09
We both have armor because of all the elbowing we're bound to do.
02/05/09
Nerds reunite because of cancer, go on road trip = hokey cliche = plot stolen from other movies = Star Wars.
Nerds STAY friends, discover hero is flawed, and become successful anyway = sweet, kinda naive = plot clever within genre boundaries = Star Trek
No contest: Trek wins!
02/05/09
Also, I will admit I love Star Trek more than I love Star Wars - but to claim that Trek hasn't stolen plots from other movies/books/TV? C'mon. Both franchises are cliched in their own ways, and both have overarching moments of awesomeness.
02/05/09
FUCK STAR WARS.
That is all. Thank you.
02/05/09
Were...were you in a coma?
02/05/09
02/05/09
02/05/09
That'd all be great if it wasn't for the fact that it wasn't a good story. It was boring. And irrelevant.
And I was a part of the new generation of Star Wars kids that saw this film. It was actually the first SW film I saw (at 13, I believe) and I still hated it.
02/05/09
I sort of agree. I was a 1st Gen Star Wars kid (saw it at 7.) I got the Star Wars figures, etc. And I still like the original three movies despite the plot holes (like Luke suddenly becoming a fighter pilot thanks to his wombat experience.)
My problem with the three later movies isn't the fact they are geared towards kids, but the fact that Lucas wasn't really interested in telling a story, but rather had a bunch of simple scenarios to show off SFX, SFX pr0n if you will.
02/05/09
And never forget. Kids are stupid.
02/05/09
Let us not forget the terrible, terrible acting. That kid was remarkably awful. I was just confused as to how these people passed the acting litnus on set.
02/05/09
02/05/09
/brain asplode
02/05/09
Agreed. The story is the key to a good movie. That is why Pixar movies do so well because there is always the story behind the wonderful animation. When Disney thought they could get the same results without Pixar you got crap like Chicken Little.
And I disagree. Star Wars does belong to me and Star Trek and when they mess with them I do take it personally.
02/05/09
02/05/09
02/05/09
It should probably have been about the friends taking Linus across the country on his last week to live so they can break into Skywalker Ranch and he can confront Lucas with his dying and completely unapologetic thoughts of how truly truly awful Phantom Menace was and demanding answers. Maybe at gunpoint.
THAT would be a good film.
02/05/09
02/05/09
02/06/09
and with that picture of Kristen Bell, I'm OUT!
02/05/09
Take out Jar Jar, and you have a fun good star wars movie.
The lightsaber battle was fucking epic, and blew every fan away at the time. Space battle was great to, since it looked so new, as did the podrace.
I'm so tired of phantom hate....get over Jar Jar people
02/05/09
The only good part was how the tuscan raiders camped out around one of the corners and took potshots at people.
02/05/09
The bottom line is nothing that he put out would of thrilled everyone. I think that ROTS is probably one of the best of the entire series and it still has its critics.
You pretty much have to accept the "phantom hate" just as a pop culture phenomenon.
02/05/09
While the art design is pretty, and the movie is certainly slick, the fact is that in every other respect, Phantom Menace is a lousy movie.
02/05/09
Midichlorians. Srsly. Midichlorians.
Last week I saw George Lucas at a restaurant I frequent for lunch. He passed in front of my car in the parking lot, and a horrible murderous rage filled me for one second.
So, you can all thank (or hate) me for my restraint.
02/05/09
Then you get to I, with no driving plot, a melange of planets, get the kid, cause he's the kid, and the princess, and stuff on naboo, then Darthmaul shows up with his lame tribal face (yeah it's lame). It tried to do too much and failed on too many accounts. It's why the Clone Wars show works so well because each episode is a simple plot and it gets back to the original vibe of the show.
Phantom Menace looks great it had it's moments, but overall it was a mess.
02/05/09
02/05/09
02/05/09
02/05/09
Purrrrr.
What, I'm the only one?
02/05/09
02/05/09
02/05/09
/sarcasm
02/05/09
02/05/09
Like, I once knocked a guy out for drinking his Guinness like a sissy.
02/05/09
Yeah, how is that possible? Every time I order a Guinness at a bar I get a "sure you can handle that, little lady?" remark.
02/05/09
02/05/09
02/05/09
braak, can we have a drinking session nao, plz? I *hate* when people do that and go into a rage when I see it happening.
It's not fucking Pabst people, ITS GUINNESS!
02/05/09
02/05/09
02/05/09
But I drink it while having sex with 100 super models and fighting 200 bears. At the same time.
02/05/09
02/05/09
What's so moving is that Linus' friends understand that what he needs to die happy isn't some stupid, generic encounter with spirituality or some Benjamin Button kind of crap. It's seeing The Phantom Menace.
You had me sympathizing until that line. Isn't it bad enough the poor guy is dying of cancer? If the cancer didn't get him, Jar Jar and the crap movie that is the Phantom plot would have finished off the poor kid.
If his friends really wanted to make him die happy then they should have let Kristen Bell do lap dances for him wearing the metal bikini.
02/05/09
Don't be absurd. You were jerking off with both hands back in 98 when you saw the first preview. It was something all geeks thought about in the mid-90s. "What if I die before I see the new Star Wars?"
02/05/09
02/05/09
02/05/09
I saw the preview, but I was one of the few Star Wars fans that didn't get an instant orgasm watching it. Sorry to disappoint.
I didn't see the Phantom Menace till 2002 when a friend rented it. It hurt my eyes because I spent the two or so hours rolling my eyes in disgust.
02/05/09
We went so far as comparing the structure of the entire series to the structure of a Shakespeare play in which the first act is often introductions and setting up the world and is often a little boring. Our fragile minds had never suffered such a blow.
Nerds have never recovered and that is why to this day people find any excuse to not get excited for a film, from the lack of a squid in a massive comic adaptation, to a film about giant robots fighting each other not having enough character development.
02/05/09
The only way this movie could possibly have a happy ending is if the four main characters end up watching the rough-cut of Phantom Menace, realize how mind-bogglingly shitty it is, then return to Ohio, where they stay up all night writing a much better fake version of the script, which they then read and act out for their dying buddy.
Little do they know, George Lucas has been standing in the doorway the entire time along with a bunch of cops ready to arrest the gang for B&E. But upon hearing their much less sucky version of the script, he realizes the error of his ways, and drops all charges against them, vowing to burn all copies of the original print and start again from scratch.
He also pays for Linus's experimental cancer treatment, and in 2 years, they all go to the movie theater together to watch the totally awesome version of The Phantom Menace, that everybody agrees is the best sci-fi movie ever made.
A man can dream... A man can dream...