• kronk burger

    Ask Josh Wheaton Your Science Fiction Questions!

    We've been wanting to ask Buffy/Dollhouse creator Joss Whedon random science-fiction questions for ages... but he wasn't available. So instead, we're asking Josh Wheaton, who's responsible for everything you hate. He's almost as good, right? More »
    02/26/09
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    Comment by Grey_Area: Isn't Josh Wheaton behind the new show Tollhouse? I watched the first eighteen pilots. It seems to tell the story... 5 Responses | Other threads

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    You Will Sweat Nanoblobs: Your Future Workplace!

    Chances are, you're reading this blog at work. At the same time, you're pretending to be a cat princess in a bestiality-quest MMO with your left hand, making a new Lynyrd Skynyrd/MC Frontalot mashup with your right hand and denouncing Saxby Chambliss with both feet. And you're still bored. But fear not — the workplace revolution that's coming will eradicate boredom forever. You will be amazed. More »
    12/03/08
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    Comment by Grey_Area: As a fully certified Grammar/Spelling ChronoNazi^tm I'd like to point out that the acronym on the resplendent Holo-Banner in the... 6 Responses | Other threads

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    Are We Feeling Dehumanized Yet?

    Now that we're living in a technological wonderland, you're in constant danger of losing your humanity. It's just a fact — every scientific or medical advance makes us that little bit less human, and every time you play with your Google Android or eat another stem-cell sex donut, a few cells of your body transform into day-glo bubble wrap. Science fiction has been warning us for years! But how can you tell when you're no longer human? We're here to help. More »
    11/05/08
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    Comment by TheAardvark: "Conceal yourself inside a giant chasuble..." Hide in an outer liturgical vestment? They'll call the Church Police on you. "It's a... 3 Responses | Other threads

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    What If Everybody In Science Fiction Really Was Related?

    It all started when Sarah Connor had a salty affair with the Master, the evil renegade time traveler from a lost civilization. They both knew it would never last: for one thing, the Master kept trying to hypnotize Sarah into having a threesome with one of the liquid-metal Terminators he'd "reprogrammed." But worse, the Master was always leaving shrunken naked sex-workers under Sarah's porch. More »
    10/01/08
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    Comment by anvalisok: If this was 30 pages longer it could be the text in the back of an Alan Moore trade paperback. 2 Responses | Other threads

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    We Can Make Trees The Awesome Villain They Were Meant To Be

    Trees! Millions have trembled at the sound of their villainous name. And yet somehow, in spite of all their world-crushing power, you all voted trees the weakest recent villain in movies and TV. Blame M. Night Shyamalan, whose The Happening failed to capture the true menace of these arboreal conquerors. Clearly, it's time to give trees an edgy new look — and you can help! More »
    08/27/08
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    Comment by ManchuCandidate: Not a lot in the family tree of villains. Treebeard? The Kite Eating Tree? 5 Responses | Other threads

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    20 Things That Should Be Their Own Genres (But Aren't)

    One of the great mysteries of the universe is why some types of story get to repeat, with endless variations, while others just don't. How is that space opera gets to be its own genre? Or the amnesiac detective story? Or time-travel romance? Who decides that these things are genres, but some other perfectly great story ideas are denied genre status? Here are 20 things we think are way overdue to become genres of their own. Fight the power! More »
    08/13/08
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    Comment by GuidoDavid: People forgetting to vote at elections massively: Essay on Lucidity by José Saramago. And the Apologizing Genocides, well sort of that was... more » | Other threads

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    What Would The Ultimate Nerd Wish-Fulfillment Look Like?

    Movies just aren't doing a good enough job of pandering to our escapist wet dreams. A nerdy guy who turns into a green destructo-ape when you fuck with him? An MIT engineer who builds the ultimate super-armor? A clerk who turns super-killer? Bah! Hollywood could do a much, much better job than that of channeling our dreams of escaping from tedium and having everybody recognize our nerdy greatness. We'll tell you how, after the jump. More »
    07/02/08
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    Comment by SanaCadmus: Oh, this is easy. Hot, brainy nerd chick marries me. (For gay/bi male and het/bi female nerds and transgendered nerds... more » | Other threads

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    How To Be Totally Sophisticated

    Welcome to Kronk Burger, an occasional column in which we will mock your shortcomings and -goings. When you're in a foreign country, you don't gawk, and you don't get your photograph taken in front of anything that's not naked and roaring with nubility. That's because you're not a tourist — you're a Seasoned Traveler. The same thing should apply to your enjoyment of science fiction — you should strive to be a sophisticate with calluses in the right places. Here's our guide to having seen it all before. More »
    05/21/08
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    Comment by Mazda Eric: I'd like to add Christopher Lambert to the list of actors whose work can be dismissed unseen. more » | Other threads

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