Leaving aside characters with alphanumeric names (like Star Wars' R2-D2 and C-3PO), characters who also have serials number imparted to them by their governments but are not generally addressed as such (as in Nineteen Eighty-Four and The Giver), and characters whose first names happen to mean a number in a different language (as with many of the characters in Stardust and Mobile Suit Gundam), there are several characters who are either designated with or often called by a number:

Number One (Star Trek "The Cage"/"The Menagerie"): More than two decades before Captain Picard started referring to William Riker as "Number One," Majel Barrett filmed the original Star Trek pilot, where her character was known only as Number One. Like Riker, Number One was the Enterprise's first officer, but the novel Vulcan's Glory suggests Number One was her actual name, given to her because she possessed the top intellect of her planet's generation.

Number 5 (Short Circuit): Although roboticists Newton Crosby and Ben Jabituya were out to create artificial intelligence, they probably didn't expect any of their prototypes to suddenly gain sentience, and so assigned them numbers in lieu of names. But after prototype Number 5 becomes self-aware (and escapes the clutched of the US military), he decides that, as a living being, he should have a name, and calls himself Johnny Five.

Fifth (Stargate SG-1): One of the few characters with an ordinal number for a name, Fifth gets his name in a fairly straightforward manner: he's the fifth human-form Replicator to be created on the planet Halla.

V (V for Vendetta): Most people who live through encounters with the mysterious anarchist V think they're addressing him by a letter, and his propensity for using V-based alliterations when introducing himself seems to confirm this. But it's much more likely that V derives his name from the source of his vendetta; when he was subjected to medical experimentation at the Larkhill Resettlement Camp, he was the man in room five — marked with the Roman numeral "V."

Number Six (The Prisoner): Residents of the mysterious Village are known by a number rather than their actual names — including at least 16 individuals known only as "Number Two" — probably to protect the secrets they all inevitably carry. Number Six, the titular prisoner, protests in the opening that he's a free man, not a number, but it's implied that Number Six may be known by yet another number: Number One.

The Cylons (Battlestar Galactica): The creators of Battlestar Galactica have said that cylon Number Six is a tribute to The Prisoner, and it follows that each humanoid cylon model would have its own number, with the notable exception of the Final Five. Most cylon models are known collectively by a human name as well (the Sharons, the Leobens, the D'Annas), but individual Sixes tend to have individual human names, like Natalie, Caprica, Shelly, and Gina, perhaps because of they are so often used as infiltration agents.

Seven of Nine (Voyager): Names designate individuality, a concept the Borg have no use for, but sometimes it is convenient for the Collective to identify individual Borg drones. So when the formerly human Annika Hansen was assimilated into the Collective, she was given the designation Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One. Even once she was unhooked from the hive mind, she preferred the shortened "Seven of Nine" to her human name, the latter of which she does not take up again until her Borg implants are completely destroyed.

Eight (The Specials): It's fairly obvious how Eight earned its superhero name. A hive mind, Eight consists of eight individual bodies who can physically act independent of one another, but share a single consciousness.

Thirteen (House): As long as we're labeling House as science fiction, we may as well mention Dr. Remy Hadley, better known as Thirteen. In one of his trademark moves to dehumanize his fellowship applicants, Dr. House assigned each applicant a number (and occasionally a humiliating nickname). Thirteen really took to the numerical naming system, refusing to divulge her actual name to her fellow applicants, and continuing to answer to Thirteen long after she'd earned a place on House's team.

Henchmen 21 and 24 (The Venture Bros): With the exception of the ill-fated Speedy, each of the Monarch's henchman is known only to their boss as a number. Henchmen 21 and 24 (the former is known to his mom as Gary) are genre-savvy enough to be content with their numerical positions in the Fluttering Horde. When they learn their new teammate is Henchman 1, they rightly assess that he's marked for death.

84 (P.S. 238): In a school filled with superheroes, Julie Finster has a pretty routine set of superpowers: flight, invulnerability, speed. In fact, her power set is so ordinary that instead of getting a cool superhero name, she's just called "84," since she's the 84th person to possess that particular grouping of powers. Needless to say, it's a tad demoralizing.

Agent 99 (Get Smart): James Bond may have been called 007 from time to time, but Agent 99 takes use of her code number to the next level, never answering to any other moniker (okay, in one episode, her fiance calls her Susan Hilton, but that isn't actually her name). In fact, she married Maxwell Smart and bears him twins without him ever learning her real name, proving once and for all that she's the better spy.

Agent 355 (Y the Last Man): In the historical spy network known as the Culper Ring, there was a female agent code named 355, whose identity has never been definitively determined. Similarly, in the fictional Culper Ring of Y the Last Man, Agent 355 is a highly competent spy whose name is never revealed (at least not to the reader). Her odd relationship with her name parallels that of Alter Tse'elon, the Israel commando whose real first name is not spoken (until the end) for fear of attracting the Angel of Death.

Experiment 626 (Lilo and Stitch): The alien mad scientist Dr. Jumba Jookiba created 626 strange and dangerous lifeforms. The wanton destruction caused by the final experiment, 626, condemns them both to life in exile, but the experiment escapes to Earth, where a young Hawaiian girl names him "Stitch." Of course, once Stitch's destructive nature has been reigned in, there are still 625 other experiments to contend with.

1812 (Farscape): In terms of numbered names, the DRD robot 1812 gets his from a fairly unusual source. Instead of 1812 being a serial number or a numbered designation, it's a reference to the 1812 Overture, which Crichton teaches the little service bot to play.

Subject 781227 (Kyle XY): Zzyzx, the company funding Adam Baylin's research, saw the child-shaped being Adam Baylin developed in his lab as a biological computer rather than a person, reflected in him getting a serial number in lieu of a name. It's only after 16 years, an escape, and a bout of amnesia that Subject 781227 finally gets a name: Kyle Trager.

The pilot episode (although producer/director David Nutter called it the "teaser" ep) opens with a voiceover similar to that of Desperate Housewives, but voiced by Veronica Cartwright, who played Felicia in the 80's film version of John Updike's novel. It's a cute homage, but no wonder the comparisons are there with such beginnings.

Also, the constant witty banter stolen from the first season of Housewives is slightly annoying after about 15 minutes. Producer Maggie Friedman described it as "a show about magical realism," but the "realism" part seemed to get lost somewhere.

Our three witches are quickly introduced, and soon afterwards they're throwing some mystical coins each one has found into a fountain in the middle of town. Their coins CLINK together, and we have our witches with a gust of wind. Yes, they literally clink; no, it doesn't look even remotely real.

Cartwright's voice-over narration urges us to be wary of these new powers ("With great powers ..." and all that), claiming they may even be evil, but what is evil? When you're on the wrong side, do you always know it? The show opens up great questions for the season, but they feel like questions that may never get answered.

Enter Darryl Van Horne. Played by Paul Gross, he's suave and dark and brooding and he gives a wonderfully, buttery low voice to the Devil. In his demeaning way of mixing insults and compliments, he uses words like pronto and adorable while grazing your hand. The devil has ridden into the little town of Eastwick on the wind, we are meant to believe, and he's beautiful.

From there, the women's powers come alive. Sparked by the devil, each begins to transition into the woman she was meant to be.

Joanna Frankel is the mousy woman turned vixen. A wordsmith for the local newspaper, she can turn even the most boring town event into front page news, though it helps when the towns historic society president is attacked by ANTS at a town picnic. She is wildly inappropriate and not at all together, mostly because a part of her has always been a little bit afraid of who she is and what she can do. Her words come in handy when she gains the power to seduce men into believing anything she says.

Rebecca Romjin is single mother Roxie, a flaky crazy woman who thinks wearing boho chic shirts makes her a free spirit and that creating art is the only thing she's meant to do. She's also bored sexxxing up her boy-toy Kyle XY... er, Chad (Matt Dallas). Roxie finds her solace in sleep, until psychic visions invade.

Married Kat Rougemont is the nurturer of the trio, a woman with more power than she's ever cared to tap into. She started a large family when she turned 18, marrying a man who has zero respect for her and her talents, and it's stunted her. Literally, she is mother earth and like Storm, it seems she may soon be able to control even the weather. In the pilot alone she shakes the earth and nearly kills her deadbeat husband with a lightening bolt.

Unlike Charmed, that other trio of witches show, Eastwick's witches don't have to deal with fire shooting out of their hands or keeping schlocky visual effects at bay. Without those effects, there's a bit more room to grow these powers — but unfortunately, all we saw today was that the magical fantastical side of the story is dumbed down with over-the-top sex and cattiness, with some cleavage on top. Roxie and Kat can't even recognize her own powers for what they are at first, even after Kat electrocutes a man. Where are their heads?!

Dollhouse/Fringe
If "a secret organization that replaces people's personalities with programmable selves, who're then hired out to the rich and aimless" doesn't sound like something that Agent Dunham and the Bishop Boys should be investigating, then I don't know what does. I mean, for all we know, the basic technology that Topher is using today probably came from Walter's strangely-broad research back in the day, and Massive Dynamics may be paying Adelle DeWitt's salary. If Dollhouse does get cancelled, I'd be all in favor of Fox sneaking in a few mentions of the show into their hit Fringe, especially if Whedon brother (and Fringe staffer) Zack was involved.

Heroes/Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
So much of the NBC series has been based upon averting horrific futures that you'd think that Hiro, Matt and Peter would be completely on board with Sarah Connor's mission, but that thematic continuity isn't why we'd want to see Heroes invade the Terminatorverse, nor are we particularly amused by the possibilities of Claire meeting John and telling him that he looks a lot like her friend Zach who she knew when she was first discovering her powers (Okay, maybe we're slightly amused by that possibility, we admit). No, we simply want to see two things. One, a glower-off between HRG and Summer Glau, and two, Nathan hitting on Sarah by comparing bad parenting stories. Okay, and maybe Ando getting killed by a Terminator, just for fun.

Star Trek/Battlestar Galactica
Yeah, yeah, yeah; Captain Kirk is such a bad-ass and can get out of any situation, but how would he measure up to Edward James Olmos' Admiral William Adama? Just the idea of the meeting of the two ships already feels like a Trek episode, where the perfect Enterprise crew has to deal with a battle-scarred older ship where grudges are held and wars never end... but if you told it from the Galactica's point of view, it'd be more compelling... and probably reveal previously-unseen traumas amongst Starfleet's finest. If nothing else, it'd probably give me a Scotty/Tigh drinking game.

KyleXY/Caprica/Battlestar Galactica
Okay, this one may seem like a stretch, but go with me here. ABC Family's just-canceled Kyle featured a synthetic teen trying to come to grips with his true nature and abilities, and one of the threads in Caprica will follow the creation of AI robots modeled after the dead children of their creators, and pushes the questions of identity and nature. We're suggesting that Kyle gets a reprieve and it's revealed that he's a descendant of the original Caprica AIs and has a secret mission to prevent a repeat of BSG's robot apocalypse. Think that'd fly on the ABC Family channel? Maybe not.

Chuck/Knight Rider/Bionic Woman/My Own Worst Enemy
This one is a no brainer; too many of NBC's failed genre shows recently have featured the same "And then our hero joins some unexplained anti-terrorist organization and has adventures" set-up. We're just saying that Chuck Bartowski - from the one spy show that seems to have a future on the network - finds out that Bionic's Berkut Group, Knight Rider's Knight Industries and even Worst Enemy's version of the US Government are all various fronts for Fulcrum, conning good people into doing bad things without knowing it. If nothing else, it'll allow for a guest star extravaganza, and also tie up some loose ends from the canceled shows. Plus, it'd raise the possibility of seeing Christian Slater get punched by Adam Baldwin, and who wouldn't want to see that?

I don't blame the show's producers, who hadn't planned for this to be a series finale, but wow, that was an unsatisfying conclusion. I literally kept rewinding and fast-forwarding to make sure there wasn't another minute or two of episode, after Cassidy pulled the "Luke, I am your father... Oh wait, I mean brother" speech.

There wasn't just the out-of-nowhere question of, "How does Kyle deal with being related to this guy, who's been destroying his life?" Which I honestly wouldn't lose any sleep over anyway. It's not like Cassidy and Kyle are brothers in any meaningful sense, and it seems like everybody at Latnok is related to everybody else. There was the larger issue: can Kyle ever really be free of Latnok?

Even though Kyle dealt a serious blow to Latnok's science-maniacs in this episode, it still felt like a bit of a downer. Because Cassidy's right: Latnok will never stop trying to control Kyle, and they can get a lot more aggressive if they need to. So far, all Latnok's done is manipulate Kyle a bit, when Kyle wears his heart on his sleeve and proclaims loudly that the Tragers are the most important people in his life. Kyle is practically announcing, "Threaten the Tragers and I'll do anything you want."

And Latnok was at its absolute creepiest last night, with the plan to clone 100 Kyles and (possibly) turn them into biological computers, without any free will or life of their own. It sounded, reading between the lines, like a "Spock's Brain" scenario, only more dehumanizing and evil. With 100 Kyles hooked up, you could rule the world.

Supposedly, Kyle dealt with that particular threat last night, although I have my doubts. What kind of mega-scientific organization has an incredibly valuable formula, and only makes one offsite backup? I couldn't help jeering at the screen a bit when that plot point was introduced. (There's also the issue, which nobody ever raises, that this formula is a magic cure-all which brought back Nicole Trager from the brink of death. Kyle is sentencing millions of ordinary people to death by destroying it. And of course, if Latnok really wanted to rule the world, they could just sell the formula and become rich enough to buy countries.)

Some kind of resolution to the Kyle/Latnok issue would have been nice... even if it was just Kyle realizing that he's going to be fighting Latnok for the rest of his life.

One thing I did like was Mama Trager bringing up the fact that Kyle has gotten pretty ruthless and crafty all of a sudden, in a drastic (but mostly believable) shift from his old doe-eyed innocent act. He's basically doing what he has to do, since he's up against some pretty evil people, but it doesn't change her point. (Even if she did simper a bit too much in delivering her warning.) I'm all in favor of the show realizing that "coming of age" doesn't always mean "learning toasty life lessons and becoming a better person." Sometimes — often — becoming an adult means getting your hands dirtier.

The other thing I really loved about this finale — and wished I'd be seeing more of, in the fourth season we're not going to get — was the fact that both of "Kyle's girlfriends" really stepped up. Okay, so Jessi is still psycho and clingy, and has never seen a boundary she doesn't want to steamroller over. But at least this time around, Jessi got to do actual science, and prove she was as smart as Kyle, even though he's the golden boy. It was Jessi who found the warehouse where they were keeping the cryo-chambers, and who figured out how to use staph bacteria to kill the magic formula. Meanwhile, Amanda, who hasn't always been my favorite character, got to show some backbone and stand up to Jessi. Plus, she decked Nate. Woo!

Another character who got to prove how awesome he was was poor old Declan, who's been enjoying a bit of a renassance in the past few episodes, but especially last night's. Helping Kyle break into Cassidy's apartment, hacking into Andy's GPS as she's traveling across the country. I would actually totally watch a Declan spinoff. Oh, and speaking of Andy, the Josh/Andy closure was not particularly great in this episode, but I guess they got their real send off last week, with the cheesy Star Trek thing and the sleepover. The only character I really felt was shortchanged, by this episode as well as a lot of the recent episodes, was poor old Lori. We needed at least ten more scenes of her and cute DJ boy making out and processing.

All in all, I was frustrated even though this was a pretty solid episode of Kyle XY. What resolution we got felt somewhat forced, and the cliffhanger ending just felt a bit like dirty pool. Let's hope ABC Family comes to its senses and greenlights a miniseries or TV movie to address some of our pressing Kyle XY resolution needs.

What did you think?

Monday:

No new Chuck this week.

Kyle XY -
It's the last Kyle XY ever. So say goodbye to the cute confused super-boy and his Sound Of Music foster family, The Tragers. In this final episode, Kyle discovers Latnok's evil plan. So the Trager family combines to form Voltron, and together they stamp out the evil corporation with their cat hands. But more importantly who will Kyle pick for his genius-baby love-seed: Amanda or Jessi? Kyle XY is on ABC Family at 9 PM.

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Promo

No new Heroes this week.

Movies:
Enhanced action figures come to life, thanks to modern technology, and say things like, "I love the smell of polyurethane in the morning." Small Soldiers is on TBS at 10 AM.

Tuesday:

There is an early morning Dark Angel marathon running on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM to 2 PM, if you can't wait until Friday to get your fill of ass-kicking ladies in tight pants.

No new Fringe this week.

Reaper -
Ben starts dating Nina — you know, the Demon that tried to kill Sam. But she's really hot and funny, in the way that reminds my of Anya so please keep her around. Reaper is on the CW at 8 PM.

Reaper Clip

Reaper Promo

Movies:

One of the top ten science fiction comedies of all time (in my book), Galaxy Quest, is on TBS at 10 AM today. Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Alan Rickman, Tony Shalhoub and Sam Rockwell find out their canceled Star Trek rip-off series has been recreated in space, thanks to an alien race.

Wednesday:

Better Off Ted -
The lovely Portia de Rossi and Jay Harrington run the slightly but comically corrupt company Veridian Dynamics in research and development. Where the two make sheep and weaponize pumpkins. It's pretty adorable, and hopefully very successful because we're in dire need of some actually funny scifi. Better Off Ted is on ABC at 8:30 PM.

Veridian Dynamics Promo:

Better Off Ted Promo:

Lost -
The gang is back, and Sawyer has to be all Con man smartypants again to figure out how to juggle two girlfriends and keep his new Dharma buddies from executing Kate, Jack, Ben, Locke, Hurley, Ben and Sun ....yeah that's about it. Let them kill the new characters — I'm not really invested in them yet.

Lost Clip:

Lost Clip:

Lost Promo:

UFO Hunters -
Get to the bottom of the giant triangle-shaped things that appeared overhead in Sonora, California. Aliens, or just giant floating triangles?

This is what they are talking about:

Life On Mars -
Sam dives once more into the funny mustache closet. This week, he's going undercover as a truck hijacker and needs to infiltrate a gang. LOM is on ABC at 10 PM.

Movies:

Here's a fun game: take a drink every time Halle Berry makes you wince, in Catwoman on AMC at 8 PM.

Thursday:

Smallville -
Clark gets stuck between a rock and a hard place, when Tess tries to con him into using his powers by wrecking their jet plane. In other Smallvillian news, Chloe is all understanding of Davis' "mood swings" and her beau is not. Smallville is on the CW at 8 PM.

Smallville Promo

Smallville Clip

Supernatural -
Castiel and the brothers get the angel killer in chains, now Dean gets to show everyone what he's learned in hell. Oh and I think Castiel may get to kick a little ass in this, and maybe emote a bit into the bargain. Supernatural is on the CW at 9 PM.

Supernatural Clip

Supernatural Promo

Supernatural Promo

No new Eleventh Hour.

Movies:

So who's the better magician: the rich Hugh Jackman, who convinces David Bowie to build him a devious device, or Christian Bale, the man who really knows how to keep secrets? The Prestige is on FX at 8 PM.

Friday:

There is an all day Battlestar Galactica marathon running on the Sci Fi Channel, as well there should be. I suspect people will be boarding up shops and schools will be closing down as well, to mark this momentous occasion.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
The second half of this two-parter episode lets us all know what's in the box, and why it made that incredibly hot, but crazy, lady come back from the future. T:SCC is on Fox at 8 PM.

T:SCC Promo:

Batman: The Brave And The Bold -
Jason Blood is framed for crimes committed by Gentleman Ghost, on the Cartoon Network at 8 PM.

Star Wars: Clone Wars -
Meet Cad Bane: apparently, he's the worst of the worst of all the bounty hunters and is going to kill all of the clones. He takes some hostages, and it's up to Anakin to save the day. Oh, and the TV Guide says Ziro is back in this episode to which I say, fantastic because everyone should start their weekend with gay Hutt! The finale of the Clone Wars is on Cartoon Network at 9 PM.

Star Wars: Clone Wars Promo:

Star Wars: Clone Wars Promo:

Star Wars: Clone Wars Promo:

And Just For Fun, Here's Ziro Again:

Dollhouse -
Patton Oswalt guest stars as an internet mogul who purchases Echo's brain. Echo plays the part of perfect housewife to Oswalt's meek internet persona (get it? Internet=nerd). Meanwhile, Sierra shrieks and Helo yells and throws a chair. That's great and all, but where's Alpha? "Man On The Street" is on Fox at 9 PM.

Dollhouse Promo:

Dollhouse Clip (skip ahead to 5:36 if you don't want to here Kimmel yammering):

Battlestar Galactica -
This is it: two hours of total Galactica-versus-Cylon action. Some will die, some will live (I'm guessing) and maybe, just maybe, we'll get some sort of conclusion out of this long five year journey towards Cylon-self discovery (Earth no longer being an option). BSG is on the Sci Fi Channel at 9 PM because it's two hours keeds.

BSG Promo:

Saturday:

Movies:

Go back to the classics with Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi on Spike at 8 PM, just close your eyes whenever the "new and improved" CG pops up on screen.

Sunday:

Kings -
Now that the little country-mouse has told Ian McShane that he ain't no redneck bitch, let's see what happens. What will the city-mouse girlfriend princess and the gaydilocks prince have to say about their new adopted brother, now that Silas has marked him out as the favorite? The second episode of Kings is on NBC at 8 PM.

Movies:

What would you do if you were forced to repeat the same day over and over again, like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day? Me, I would probably reenact Groundhog Day in its entirety. The movie is on FX at 12 AM.

Monday:

Chuck -
Morgan tries to get out of his new living situation and Casey hunts down the biggest bad guy. Oh, and Sarah and Chuck blah blah blah boring relationship, please kill one of them now. Chuck is on NBC at 8 PM.

Chuck Clip:


Chuck Promo:


Kyle XY -
Kyle brings Cassidy to dinner, and Jessi is all pissed because Cassidy (who despite the name is actually a man) killed her mom or something. But let's be honest here, we all know Jessi is really upset because Kyle won't impregnate her with his test-tubey seed. Don't believe me? Here's a bedroom scene to prove it. Kyle XY is on ABC Family at 9 PM.

Kyle XY Clip


Kyle XY Promo


Heroes -
Sylar meets his Daddy (who is actually Lex Luthor's dad, so wrap your brains around that)! Claire starts working at a comic book store, because cheerleaders love comics. Oh, and Parkman almost dies - again - but I bet he doesn't because that would give us some sort of closure. Heroes is on NBC at 9 PM.

Heroes Clip


Heroes Promo


Movies:
The Invasion is on 11 AM over on Cinemax. This Invasion of the Body Snatchers remake, starring Nicole Kidman as the psychiatrist who discovers that an alien epidemic affects humans whilst they're sleeping. Oh, and her son may be the planet's only hope. Some call this Kidman's worst film to date - which really says something if you've seen Bewitched.

Tuesday:

No new Fringe this week.

Reaper -
This week our little Reaper has to juggle secret shoppers, Mongols and a demon girlfriend for his friend. I'm glad this light little comedy is back on the CW at 8 PM.

Reaper Clip


Reaper Promo


Reaper Promo


Movies:

Dustin Hoffman plays a zany 243-year old toy store owner in Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium, who prepares Natalie Portman to step into his shoes as the store's owner in this saccharine tale about believing in yourself and believing that Natalie Portman could ever be awkward. The magic happens on HBO at 11:30 AM.

Wednesday:

No more Knight Rider, because it's dead. Let us drag its robot bones through the streets while children throw rocks at its headlights. Die, you terrible show, die - and never return!

No new Lost this week, next week.

Life On Mars -
Annie and Sam go undercover, and oops-a-daisy they end up at a swingers party - whatever will they do? And are we back to having episodes based on the British series all of a sudden? LOM is on ABC at 10 PM.

Movies:
Tonight enjoy the fifth and arguably best installment to date in the timeless saga of the boy wizard, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Harry and his mates find themselves up against evil Ministry of Magic- appointed Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Dolores Umbridge whose cruel and unusual practices only further motivate the boy savior in his quest against Lord Voldemort. This movie rules, so you need to turn on HBO at 7:30 PM.

Thursday:

Smallville -
Smallville is back - and everybody wants to take a shot a Clark, including Tori Spelling, yep she's back. Oh and Lois knows that Clark is the "red and blue blur," so my money is, it's all a dream. Smallville is on the CW at 8 PM.

Smallville Clips


Smallville Clips


Smallville Promo


Supernatural -
The righteous brothers are back, and visiting a town that is cheating death. Well they'll put a stop to that by turning into ghosts - to the locker rooms! See how the brothers bring back the reapers, on the CW at 9 PM.

Supernatural Clip


Supernatural Clip


Supernatural Clip


Supernatural Clip


Supernatural Promo


Eleventh Hour -
Hood takes a fancy trip to New York City fashion week when a bunch of murders occur on the runway, on CBS at 10 PM.

Movies:

Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster is on at 4.15 AM on AMC, and yes, it's as awesome as it sounds, as this "found footage" proves. In this monster b-movie from 1960s Puerto Rico, an android Frankenstein battles a Martian Princess and her crew. After the android's brain is damaged, he terrorizes the island, whilst the princess and her cronies hit up pool parties and hang out with the 1960s Puerto Rican version of Brody Jenner.

Friday:

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
The first of a two-parter: Sarah and John scatter as future-girl Jesse starts remembering what happened on her not-so-yellow submarine... but what we really want to know is, will this be the episode that John gets revenge? T:SCC is on Fox at 8 PM.

T:SCC Promo:


Batman: The Brave And The Bold -
Rock and roll music and reptile fighting this week, as Batman goes to Adam Strange's home planet of Rann, on the Cartoon Network at 8 PM.

Batman: The Brave And The Bold Clip:


Batman: The Brave And The Bold Clip:


Star Wars: Clone Wars -
The conclusion to the Ryloth chapter is tonight. Will the Jedis be able to liberate the people and save the race, on Cartoon Network at 9 PM? This is the second episode of the three-part season finale.

Star Wars: Clone Wars Promo:


Dollhouse -
Echo gets yet another ass-kicking lady imprint, but this time it's different, because she's blind. But don't worry, nothing will go as planned, as usual, and her imprint will probably backfire on her while she's trying to break into a secret cult. The latest episode is on Fox at 9 PM.

Dollhouse Promo:


Battlestar Galactica -
Someone please tell me what is happening with Starbuck right now. So what is she anyway: an angel? Surely not. Let's hope this big battle everyone is revving up for will answer some questions. "Daybreak, Pt. 1" is the first hour of a three-hour finale. I mean this is it - this is the end. Let's get excited, people. BSG is on the Sci Fi Channel at 10 PM.

BSG Promo:


Saturday:

Movies:
Men in Black II The men in black are back to save the earth from the scum of the universe, in the sequel to the classic alien caper on TBS at 7 PM.

Sunday:

Kings -

Silas Benjamin (Ian McShane) rules over all he sees, with a corrupt set of values and a belief that it was his divine right to rule his country, which is pretty much New York. But his world is changed, when a young country boy saves his big gay son from imminent death on the battlefield (I think they're fighting New Jersey, seriously). Now Silas has a national hero he can manipulate to suit his Kingly needs, and of course all hell breaks loose. But it's got Ian McShane, so check it out on NBC at 8 PM.

Movies:
In Journey to the Center of the Earth, Brendan Fraser travels to the center of the earth in search of his missing brother, but only discovers the black hole his career has been sucked into. Tune in at 6 PM on the Sci Fi Channel.

Additional reporting by Julia Carusillo

X-Men Origins: Wolverine:

Here are some new character posters showing a better look at some of the movie's 10,000 mutant characters, including Deadpool, Gambit and Silverfox. [USA Today via Obsessed With Film]

Iron Man 2:

Shellhead's new movie put out a casting call for four minor characters. There's a U.S. Senator who's an imposing man and not easily amused. (Do you want to bet Tony attempts to amuse this guy?) There's a young Caucasian boy under 10 years old, and an young African American man in his mid 20s to early 30s. And a Russian man in his 40s or 50s. [SpoilerTV]

Star Trek:

So what's the deal with bar-brawling, shit-talking James T. Kirk in those new Star Trek trailers? Allow star Chris Pine to explain:

What was presented to me was this vision of Kirk in the script as an angry young kid who is dealing with some heavy family s—t and is angry at the world. He's a rebel without a cause. I think everyone can remember what it's like to be 15, and he's a 25-year-old 15-year-old! He has to mold all that energy and that drive and all that passion and obstinance and the spectrum of emotions into the man that Kirk then becomes, which is the captain of the ship.

[Sci Fi Wire]

Dragonball Evolution:

Here's a new featurette that includes some behind-the-scenes stuff and some clips from the most eagerly awaited movie of whatever week it comes out. [DB The Movie]


The Adjustment Bureau:

Some extra plot details about the Matt Damon-starring thriller inspired by the work of Philip K. Dick. Apparently Damon plays a "promising politician" whose romance with a lovely ballet dancer gets "disrupted by mysterious forces." [EW]

Doctor Who:

Some casting news: model Gemma Chan is in the 2009 Christmas special, now filming, and she plays a character called Mia Bennett. Also, former Neighbours star Peter O'Brien says he's filming for the series next month as part of David Tennant's final storyline. O'Brien says he plays a villain, and the story takes place on Mars. [Den Of Geek]

Lost:

Actor Sterling Beaumon says he's playing Young Ben for a four-episode arc starting when the show returns in two weeks, and it's a major storyline that changes Ben forever. There's a major trauma, which causes Young Ben to go from being a "nice, good kid" to the Ben we know. And over the course of that arc, we see Ben learn all of the island's secrets, including all of the island's backstory. Dude! [E! Online]

Dollhouse:

Fox released five (!) clips from tonight's episode.






Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles:

Fox also released a clip from tonight's episode, plus a new promo video for SCC and Fringe.

Fringe:

Peter has a new love interest - and she's a blonde. [TV Guide]

Smallville:

Wrestler Matt Morgan tells the Pain Clinic (a wrestling newsletter) that he's been cast as Doomsday for Smallville season nine.

They had just previously cast the Doomsday character - signed, sealed, delivered, it was concrete. The director said ‘Let's figure a way to recast Doomsday and maybe have this Matt Morgan kid play him'. In postproduction they are going to try to write around it, hopefully.

He adds that he's keeping his fingers crossed. And fans are speculating that this means Sam Witwer is disappearing, and "Davis Bloome" will be Doomsday full time in season nine. [OSCK]

Star Wars: Clone Wars:

Here are two awesome clips, and some new pics, from tonight's episode. Obi-Wan uses the Force the way it was meant to be used. [Lucasfilm]




Supernatural:

Do you love alternate reality stories? Me too. Here's the description for the March 26 episode, "It's A Terrible Life," written by the awesome Sera Gamble:

IF THE WINCHESTERS WEREN'T HUNTERS… - Dean (Jensen Ackles) and Sam (Jared Padalecki) are living very normal and separate lives. Dean is a corporate man who enjoys health drinks and listens to news radio vs. rock stations. He works at a company called Sandover Bridge & Iron Company alongside Sam (Jared Padalecki) who is in Tech Support. It seems as if the two do not know each other. However, after co-workers start committing suicide at an alarming rate, the two find themselves working side by side to solve the murders.

[SF Universe]

Kyle XY:

Going into the show's final episode (airing March 16), the Kyle/Jessi/Amanda love triangle will still be in flux... but Amanda will be realizing that Nate is not who he pretends to be. [TV Guide]

Heroes:

The last few minutes of the season finale will set up a whole set of new storyline for the show's characters - especially Claire. By the end of the season, you'll have a sense of where Claire's heading and what's going on with the Petrelli clan, says producer Bryan Fuller. [EW]

Reaper:

Here's the synopsis for episode 2x04, "The Favorite":

The Devil (Ray Wise) introduces Sam (Bret Harrison) to Morgan (guest star Armie Hammer), his charming, rich, perfect other son. The Devil tells Sam he must teach Morgan how to have a stronger work ethic as he's grooming him to take over the "family business" so Sam reluctantly takes Morgan with him to capture the next escaped soul. Meanwhile, Sock (Tyler Labine) uses Ted (Donovan Stinson) in his next Work Bench scheme and Ben (Rick Gonzalez) thinks Nina (Jenny Wade) is secretly disgusted by his human form.

[SpoilerTV]

And here's a sneak peek of (at? from?) Thursday's episode:


Additional reporting by Alasdair Wilkins.

I liked Kyle XY well enough in its first season, but it really took off for me in season two. That's where we first met Jessi, Kyle's psychotic fellow test-tube baby. But season two also introduced Andy, the nerdy girl who p0wns Josh at video games and then steals his heart. There are lots and lots of TV shows about nerds who can't get a date or can't talk to girls, because girls don't understand nerd stuff. And then there's the story of Josh and Andy.

Luckily, a Josh/Andy shipper has compiled every single clip of their scenes together on Youtube. This allows you to get caught up quickly and painlessly, in time to find out whether they're actually going to get married in tonight's episode. (I'm guessing not, since they're only like 16 years old.)

Josh and Andy meet and she "hammers" him on G-Force. Plus, a bathroom encounter:

Andy and Josh geek out about cars:

Andy gives Josh pointers on how to show a girl a good time:

Josh likes Andy OMG!

Andy has cancer!

Andy gets herself a "cancer girl" T-shirt:

OMG their last day together:

I'm skipping over some of the vids, because there's a lot. Josh and Andy go to Mama Trager for relationship counseling:

Kyle cures Andy's cancer!

Andy wants to pay for prom:

Prom nite! Andy's lesbian moms hate makeup, so she goes to Lori for a makeover. Meanwhile, will Josh lose his virginity???

Yes!

The aftermath:

Sadly, the videos seem to stop there, so you don't get to see the whole subplot where Andy and Josh turn Jessi's apartment into a party pad for debauched teenagers in exchange for cash. Or the ongoing thing about Andy moving to Cleveland. It looks like the "Josh proposes to Andy" thing is happening in tonight's episode. OMGsquee!

Oh, and obligatory disclaimer: Yes, it's on ABC Family, and it's a sometimes heartwarming show with occasional family values mixed in with the lesbian moms and teen sex. And no, I'm not saying it's the best show on TV. Just, you know... better than Heroes.

Monday:

Chuck -
The Sports Illustrated swimsuit models show up to make all the nerds sweat and drool, and Chuck tries to break up with Sarah... again, or is this the first time — sorry, this relationship is worse than Junior High. Chuck is on NBC at 8 PM.

Chuck Clip:

Chuck Promo:

Kyle XY -
More steamy over-the-shirt fumbling for Kyle and his kinda-sorta-sister Jessi. Jessi's mom Sarah is still missing, but there are more teen troubles ahead. Kyle XY is on ABC Family at 9 PM.

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Promo

Heroes -
Sylar gets closer to his father and that scary bald guy — who was a lot scarier on True Blood — is hunting people down...with a sniper. And Claire tries to run a mutant underground railroad from her bedroom. Heroes is on NBC at 9 PM.

Heroes Promo

Heroes Clip

Tuesday:

There will be an Outer Limits marathon on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM until 3 PM.

No new Fringe this week.

Movies:
Get lost with the Fawn and the Pale Man, in Guillermo Del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth at 3 AM on Cinemax.

Wednesday:

Knight Rider -
Mike and KITT get their hands on a serum that enhances physical abilities. Could Mike finally be using artificial aids in his quest to measure up to the Hoff? Knight Rider is on NBC at 8 PM.

Lost -
Our lovers reunite, on ABC's Lost at 9 PM. Will tonight be the night that Sawyer sees Kate, Kate sees Sawyer, and Jack sees Sawyer seeing Kate seeing him? And will it make this love triangle less annoying? Cut out the shipper fodder, and bring us another Faraday-centric episode, please!

Lost Promo

Lost Canadian Promo

Life On Mars -
Stand up and shout. This week Sam gets a face full of pig-sniffing student radicals in his business, bearing gifts of bomb threats. But do they have tiny robots that crawl in and out of his eyes? LOM is on ABC at 10 PM.

Movies:

Hungry for a campy alien adventure with one of the most impressive cameo roll-calls, from Jack Nicholson to Glenn Close? Pop in your alien gum, and chew on Mars Attacks at 2 AM on TBS.

Wanna see why it's important to cast a strong male lead? Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines is on AMC at 8 PM. Nick Stahl is John Connor, and I'm a unicorn.

Thursday:

No new Smallville.

No new Supernatural.

League Of Super Evil -
It's the premiere episode of the League Of Super Evil, which follows a band of super villains scheming to take over the world — led by the tiny and adorable, but deadly, Great Voltar. I quite prefer Doomageddon, the gang's hell-hound. LOSE will be on Cartoon Network at 9 PM.

League Of Super Evil Promo:

Eleventh Hour -
Subways being used for a Holy war? For some reason, this sounds like a job for Hood and his eyebrows of empirical deductive reasoning. Eleventh Hour is on CBS at 10 PM.

Eleventh Hour Promo


Movies:

Make sure to check out the gory zombie goodness in Grindhouse Presents: Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror at 10:30 PM on Starz. Even if it's just to watch Naveen Andrews carry around a glass jar full of human testicles.

Friday:

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -

Cameron has had enough of Riley's lies, and so has everyone else. Sounds like Cameron's glitch kicks back in, and Riley has to high-tail it out of dodge, before everyone figures out who she really is. T:SCC is on Fox at 8 PM.

T:SCC Promo:

Batman: The Brave And The Bold -
This week, more Owlman and Batman Freaky Friday goodness, on Cartoon Network at 8 PM.

Batman: The Brave And The Bold Clip:

Batman: The Brave And The Bold Clip:

Star Wars: Clone Wars -
Operation Human Shield is up and running on the planet Ryloth, and it's up to the Jedi to stop it, on the Cartoon Network at 9 PM. This is the second episode of the three-part season finale.

Star Wars: Clone Wars Promo:

Star Wars: Clone Wars Promo:

Dollhouse -
Echo gets wiped remotely mid-job, causing her to lose her personality imprint at the worst possible moment. So it's up to Sierra to step in and save the day — or can she? The next episode is on Fox at 9 PM.

Dollhouse Promo:

Battlestar Galactica -
That bastard Boomer pulled a fast one on us all, so now what? The ship's a mess, Hera is missing, and people are going crazy, so enter Baltar. BSG is on the Sci Fi Channel at 10 PM.

BSG Promo:

Saturday:

Movies:
My personal favorite of the Spider-Man/Sam Raimi films — you know before they tried to kill the franchise — when it was just a boy fighting an octopus man... simpler times. Spider-Man II is on TBS at 11:30 PM.

Eli Roth's skin eating virus movie Cabin Fever is on the Sci Fi Channel at 2:30 PM, and if you haven't seen this hilarious and disgusting at the same time flick, I highly recommend setting your DVR.

Sunday:

Movies:
10,000 BC, the movie about our past from Roland Emmerich, that is so full of made-up facts I consider it to be complete science fiction, is on HBO at 3.30 PM. Right after that is the movie where the Silver Surfer got us all excited for a spin off movie that still hasn't come: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer is on at 5:30 PM, also on HBO.

Dragonball Evolution:

Chow Yun-Fat did an interview in Mandarin, and they showed a few new super-brief clips of him kicking Justin Chatwin's ass. It definitely looks like Chow had fun making this film. [DB The Movie]

Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li:

Here's how rapper Taboo describes his character, Vega:

He's the one character that you don't know if he's mortal or immortal. In the movie he wears a mask all the time, and he has a claw, and he's in and out. He does his dirty work, and he's gone before you know it, and you're looking to see more. It's a small part, but it's a huge role because it has a legacy and it has an enormous cult following.

[Sci Fi Wire]

Battlestar Galactica:

We already featured some preview pics for Friday's episode, "Someone To Watch Over Me," but here they are in better quality, and with a few new ones. What's going on with Sharon, Hera and Tyrol? And where did Sharon get such a snazzy polka-dot dress? [Dryope via Battlestar_Blog]

And here's the reliably spoilery Canadian trailer for the episode. How many times can sparks fly out of every surface on the CIC before they run out of fuses? [Galactica Sitrep]

Dollhouse:

Here are descriptions for the four episodes after this Friday's:

"Gray Hour": Echo (Eliza Dushku) isn't the only one stealing things when she is imprinted as a safe-cracker whose art heist goes awry after her memory imprint mysteriously vanishes. Plus, Agent Ballard (Tahmoh Penikett) gives Lubov (Enver Gjokaj) an ultimatum.

"True Believer": Imprinted as a blind girl, Echo must infiltrate a heavily guarded cult run by a charismatic leader (guest star Brian Bloom) before a Waco-like tragedy strikes.

"Man on the Street": Agent Ballard's investigation takes a surprising turn when he comes face-to-face and fist-to-fist with Echo for the very first time.

"Echoes": A deadly virus outbreak on a college campus sends Echo back to school where pieces of her past come into focus.

[SpoilerTV]

Lost:

Juliet is not the "major-ish" character who's going to die this season. But Penny has no such assurance, especially since Sonya Walger just scored a role in ABC's Flash Forward. (Although a Lost insider says Walger will "juggle both shows.") Meanwhile, we'll meet two new characters on Lost: Jason, a former soldier with loads of gravitas that makes people want to follow him, and Samuel, a sharky J.R. Ewing-esque businessman who's never happy unless he's taking something over. [EW]

Fionnula Flanagan says we'll learn a lot more about Mrs. Hawking's powers in an upcoming episode, probably 3x14. She says Mrs. Hawking can come and go where she pleases, but won't say whether she's able to control those movements. And she says Mrs. Hawking's spiritual beliefs are not of this planet. Also, Jin and Sun won't reunite until the end of the season. [ E! Online]

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles:

Here's info on the last six episodes of the season:

"Ourselves Alone" (March 6): The return of Cameron's (Summer Glau) glitch results in regrettable consequences for everyone, and Riley (Leven Rambin) fears Cameron has discovered her secret.

"Today is the Day, Part 1 of 2" (March 13): In the first part of a game-changing two-part installment, Jesse (guest star Stephanie Jacobsen) flashes back to a life-altering mission aboard her submarine, the Jimmy Carter. Meanwhile, Sarah (Lena Headey) and John (Thomas Dekker) decide they can't continue living in their house and make plans to leave.

"Last Voyage of the Jimmy Carter, Part 2 of 2" (March 20): The exciting two-parter continues as Jesse's submarine mission in the future takes a fatal turn that has unforeseen consequences for John, Sarah and Derek (Brian Austin Green) in the present. Also, Sarah deals with Cameron, who has become a liability, and John steps up and makes a life-or-death choice.

"To The Lighthouse" (March 27): Fearing for her life, Sarah stashes John in a safe house with the only person she believes she can rely on, Charley Dixon (guest star Dean Winters). Cameron and Derek struggle to work together after she reveals a big secret, and Weaver's (Shirley Manson) entire effort is at risk when John Henry (Garret Dillahunt) is compromised – but by whom?

"Adam Raised A Cain" (April 3)

"Born To Run" (April 10)

[Sarah Connor Society and SpoilerTV]

Kyle XY:

Here's a sneak peek from Monday's episode, "The Tell-Tale Heart":

Heroes:

Apparently that baby that Hiro and Ando were carrying really is "baby Matt," Matt Parkman's kid with his ex, Janice, according to fansite Heroes Television's sources. Baby Matt appears in five episodes, starting in 3x19. And he has a superpower: "when baby Matt gets bad, stuff happens!" (Shoot me now.) And here's a sneak peek from Monday's episode. [Heroes Television]

Chuck:

Here are four clips from Monday's episode, highlighting the scrape-your-eyeballs "supermodel casting couch" subplot. And a few seconds of Adam Baldwin awesomeness. [SpoilerTV]

Life On Mars:

Here's what happens in episode 14, "Coffee Tea Or Annie":

When Valerie Palmer, a Pan Atlantic air hostess turns up dead, Annie volunteers for a dangerous undercover mission, posing as the murdered woman to help solve the second in a possible series of brutal homicides. Annie, Sam and Ray, working one of Valerie's flights covertly, uncover an unlikely suspect. Then, an invitation to a lurid swingers' party leads to an evening full of sensational surprises - not just for Annie and Sam, attending undercover as a couple, but Lieutenant Hunt also arrives with a special guest to mix it up. Juicy sexual escapades bring the swingers' party to a fever pitch, but will the murderer be revealed? Finally, Annie confronts Hunt with the courage of her convictions about her future at the 1-2-5.

And here are some pics from the episode. [SpoilerTV]

Smallville:

All of the show's cast members are back for season nine, with the possible exception of Sam Witwer (Davis Bloome). [EW]

Reaper:

Here's a sneak peak from the season opener!

Pushing Daisies:

EW's Ausiello has seen the final episode, and he says it pits Vivian and Lily against their former synchronized swimming rivals, the Aqua Dolls (Wendy Malick and Nora Dunn). "Inspired silliness ensues." There are Jaws-themed scene transitions, bitchy one-liners, and cameos by Wilson Cruz and Josh Ryan (playing the Aquas' bleach-blond manager.) It's not a totally satisfying end to the series, but Bryan Fuller and co. pieced together a prologue using CG and existing footage. [EW]

True Blood:

Season two strays much further away from the book source material, says Carrie Preston. It's hardly like the book at all. [The Vault]

Additional reporting by Alasdair Wilkins.

Monday:

Chuck -
Chuck uses his spy knowledge to help Morgan spy on Anna — nope, not creepy at all. But more importantly, Jeff and Lester try and get their band Jeffster going this episode. Chuck is on NBC at 8 PM.

Chuck Promo:

Kyle XY -
Kyle recreates the movie where that hot girl is told she's ugly until she takes off her glasses, but with his super-clone Jessi playing the role of Rachael Leigh Cook. Kyle XY is on ABC Family at 9 PM.

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip

Heroes -
Finally, let's shake up Noah's brain and get some freakin' answers. This week's episode lets Matt dig around Noah's noggin to find out what makes him tick. Heroes is on NBC at 9 PM.

Heroes Promo

Heroes Clip

Heroes Clip

One Way Out -
So if vampires can do it, what about people? A host tries to get out of a coffin on this new Discovery Channel program, One Way Out, at 9 PM.

Tuesday:

There is an all day Twilight Zone marathon from 8 AM until 3:30 PM on the Sci Fi Channel.

No new Fringe this week.

Wednesday:

No new Knight Rider.

Lost -
This week on Lost, it's all Locke, all the time. "The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham" will show you what happened before Locke ended up in that pine box, on ABC at 9 PM.

Lost Promo

Lost Canadian Promo:

UFO Hunters -
The sneaky alien hunters sneak into Area 51, but will they live to tell the tale? And is there really anything there to get excited about any more, honestly? Find out on the History Channel, at 10 PM.

UFO Hunters Promo

Life On Mars -
Newspaper reporters are under attack in Sam's 1970s world. But the strange thing is, Sam actually remembers this guy — which is impossible because he time-traveled back there in his brain from the 00s. Sounds like they've got a classic Highlander case. LOM is on ABC at 10 PM.

Movies:

Cozy up with a half-dead race and Vin's bald noggin, because Chronicles of Riddick is on TBS at 10 AM.

Thursday:

No new Smallville.

No new Supernatural.

Eleventh Hour -
Arch your eyebrows, Hood — it's time for an investigation. This week on 30 people are struck by lightning within a 10 minute period. Clearly, they didn't pay attention on school safety day. Find out "what it all means" on CBS at 10 PM.

Movies:

TBS is having a fantastic genre movie day today at 1 AM, with King Kong, followed by Aeon Flux a 3:40 AM, and Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life at 10 AM

Friday:

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
Sarah continues to go cray cray, but this time in her dreams, as she visits a sleep clinic for some valium and validation.
T:SCC is on Fox at 8 PM.

T:SCC Promo:

Batman: The Brave And The Bold -
Bruce trades the bat for the bird this week when he goes undercover as the evil Owl Man, on Cartoon Network at 8 PM.

Batman: The Brave And The Bold Clip:

Star Wars: Clone Wars -
There's a "Storm Over Ryloth" and Ahoska and Anakin are in deep, deep trouble, again, on the Cartoon Network at 9 PM.

Star Wars: Clone Wars Clip:

Dollhouse -
Echo is a secret service-type agent for a pop star, going undercover as a back up singer. If this means she's going to sing, I'm out. But I do like how they teach her how to dance, "it goes boom, pop and seven and eight." Oooh, the music biz is so zany. Dollhouse's third episode is on Fox at 9 PM.

Dollhouse Promo:

Battlestar Galactica -
This week, Starbuck gets some attention from the piano player because... shit, why not? Hopefully this piano-playing fella can answer a few questions about that whole her-finding-her-own-dead-body issue. Oh, and raise your hand if you thought this promo was a HUGE spoiler for Boomer's plot line. BSG is on the Sci Fi Channel at 10 PM.

BSG Promo:

Saturday:

Movies:
The sequel to House on Haunted Hill is on AMC at 12 AM and follows the sister of one poor survivor who is coaxed back inside the evil dwelling.

Sunday:

Movies:

You've got a Stephen King marathon all day on the Sci Fi Channel, starting with Sometimes They Come Back Again (both parts) at 10 AM, followed by the Storm Of The Century series and Desperation.

Monday:

There's a Dead Like Memarathon on the Sci Fi Channel, going until 6 PM tonight.

Chuck -
Andy Richter and Jenny McCarthy guest star as a lonely and horny suburban couple in the cul-de-sac where Chuck and Sarah go undercover. Chuck is on NBC at 8 PM.

Chuck Clip:

Chuck Clip:

Kyle XY -
The Tragers are broke (aaaah, a recession themed Kyle XY), and now the doe-eyed test-tube boy must work for mad-science squad Latnok, because he has to do everything around here. Oh and there's a really creepy teens-almost-having-sex scene waiting for you below, ick. Kyle XY is on ABC Family at 9 PM.

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip

Heroes -
Hiro and Ando go to India and follow Matt's brain droppings, while Nathan's agents track down all the other super-people. Too....many...subplots...Heroes is on NBC at 9 PM.

Heroes Clip

Heroes Promo

One Way Out -
So if vampires can do it, what about people? A host tries to get out of a coffin on this new Discovery Channel program, One Way Out, at 9 PM.

Tuesday:

No new Fringe this week.

Movies:
Get comfy with Mexican border-tunnel ghosts, on the Sci Fi Channel at 11 PM, in Intermedio.

Wednesday:

Knight Rider -
Mike's favorite barman Sonny is dead. Rip that shirt and cry, cry, cry, Mike. Let it out. "Knight and the City" is on NBC at 8 PM.

Knight Rider Promo

Lost -
I'm happy to report that I totally called the Charlotte happenings last week, so ha. But this week the mainland crew finds out how to get back onto the island (but some people still need convincing). L"316" is on ABC at 9 PM.

Lost Promo

Lost clips:

Wreckreation Nation With Dave Mordal -
After last weeks' homemade Iron Man suit I'm officially tuning into this insane show of tricks gadgets and gizmos on the Discovery Channel at 10 PM.

UFO Hunters -
Why are aliens all such bad drivers? UFO Hunters on the History Channel tries to find out, at 10 PM.

Life On Mars -
Sam has to deal with yet more 70s law dogs breaking the rules, when a councilman is caught with a hooker. LOM is on ABC at 10 PM.

Movies:
Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem is on HBO at 8 PM. Warring races of Aliens and Predators, plus the Turducken-esque Predalien, attack a small town who must band together for survival.

Thursday:

There is a The Sentinel marathon on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM until 3 PM.

No new Smallville.

No new Supernatural.

Eleventh Hour -
Hood investigates the death of a TV crew whose helicopter pilot goes blind mid-traffic report, on CBS at 10 PM.

Movies:
Flashing lights and space age lazy boys make for one hell of a Time Machine at 7 AM on TCM.

Friday:

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
After sexy Shirley Manson went all flicky flicky dead on the mysterious factory workers, it's up to Sarah and her crew to figure out just exactly what went down in there. TSCC is on Fox at 8 PM.

TSCC Promo:

Batman: The Brave And The Bold -
The B-man goes to the wild, wild West on the Cartoon Network at 8 PM.

Batman: The Brave And The Bold Clip:

Batman: The Brave And The Bold Clip:

Batman: The Brave And The Bold Clip:

Star Wars: Clone Wars -
Anakin wants to teach Ahsoka discipline - oh, the irony. Clone Wars is on Cartoon Network at 9 PM.

Star Wars: Clone Wars Clip:

Dollhouse -
So last week we met Eliza Dushku's Echo, but has Joss Whedon convinced you that the Dollhouse would realistically be used for anything else but arcane sex? I guess we'll have to see one more episode to make that decision. Dollhouse's second episode "Target" is on Fox at 9 PM.

Dollhouse Promo:

Battlestar Galactica -
Ellen is back, bitches, and wearing a fancy dress. Bring it, mere mortals and weak little Cylon babies, I can smell the dark matter. Can you? BSG is on the Sci Fi Channel at 10 PM.

BSG Promo:

Movies:

Fantastic crap Disney movie The Black Hole is on TCM at 6 AM. Follow a group of scientists as they explore another spaceship on the edge of a black hole, seriously if you haven't seen this, DVR it at least.

Saturday:

Movies:
One poor astronaut returns home to find the rest of the world taken over by aliens in Alien Apocalypse, at 9 AM on the Sci Fi Channel.

Sunday:

Movies:
A Sci Fi original, The Path of Destruction follows a journalist who watches nanobots feast upon an oil rig, and I'm assuming, at some point, people. It's on the Sci Fi Channel at 9 AM.

Also on the Sci Fi Channel this week: the Chupacabra: Dark Seas original movie, see what the beastie looks like once and for all, at 11 PM.

Star Trek:

Tyler Perry says he plays the Commander of Star Fleet (I think he means Starfleet Academy) and he has just two scenes with Kirk and Spock. (I'm guessing they involve Kirk getting in trouble after that Kobayashi Maru stunt, which sounds like it doesn't get him a commendation for original thinking in this new timeline.) [Black Voices]

Heroes star (and friend of J.J. Abrams) Greg Grunberg says he has "a little something" in this movie, which "you'll have to find." [E! Online]

Watchmen:

Director Zack Snyder has a small cameo in the film - he's a guy in army fatigues standing in the background when the Comedian is burning a bunch of Vietnamese people. [Slashfilm]

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen:

Michael Bay explains that this new movie is darker and more epic than the first one. Also, the robots have a lot more personality, and Bay was able to convince them to emote more. [Collider]

Dragonball:

Original creator Akira Toriyama says he said "Huh?" when he first read this movie's script. But then he saw that some good people were involved with it, so maybe you can just view it as "the Dragonball of another dimension." Sure. And here's a new pic of Emmy Rossum as Bulma. [DB The Movie and DB The Movie]

Lost:

In case you hadn't already guessed, this week we'll find out exactly what Jin's been up to the past four episodes, and what he experienced during all this time shifting. [L.A. Times]

And Jin actually develops a beautiful friendship with the young Danielle Rousseau, and he may understand more French than he's letting on. Also, Jin and Sun are reunited sooner than you think, in a really surprising way. Someone dies this week, and it may be Charlotte, despite Rebecca Mader's assurances that Charlotte is safe "for now." [E! Online]

Heroes:

It sounds as though Daphne really is dead after she got shot last night. And she won't be alone: around episode 3x20, Tracy (Ali Larter) gets "broken up" in a way that will put her in a grave. (But the producers have already promised Larter an awesome new storyline in season five. A new twin? Or a resurrection?) [E! Online]

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles:

Thomas Dekker gave an interview and showed off a sneak peek from Friday's episode. [Sarah Connor Society]

Fringe:

Olivia may have some kind of childhood tie to Massive Dynamic from when she was a kid, but it's really unclear. [E! Online]

Here are a couple of sneak peeks from tonight's episode:

Chuck:

In upcoming episodes, we see the inside of Fulcrum HQ, and it looks like Tron. And we find out what Fulcrum thinks is going on at the Buy More, which is nowhere near the truth. Arnold Vosloo plays a mega-badass Fulcrum agent. [E! Online]

Supernatural:

Sam is being drawn to the dark side, just like those Skywalker boys. And "parts of" Sam are in love with Ruby. Meanwhile, that new Winchester brother is only in one episode, for a reason. [E! Online]

The Sam-Dean tension reaches a boiling point in the season finale, leading to a smackdown that makes last week's blowup look like a kindergarten tiff by comparison. [EW]

Kyle XY:

The third season finale (which is also the series finale now) will include some good mythological explanations and some good relationship closure. It ties the whole series together - but then the last 20 seconds of the episode are a major cliffhanger that blow the whole thing open again. Maybe there'll be a DVD movie? We can hope. [TV Guide]

Star Wars: Clone Wars:

In Friday's double feature, "Blue Shadow Virus" and "Mystery Of A Thousand Moons,"

Padmé Amidala is captured while searching for a secret Separatist bio-weapons lab run by Dr. Nuvo Vindi (portrayed by science-fiction icon Michael York), a scientist as cold and calculating as he is evil. While they manage to find the mad doctor and uncover his scheme, they are too late to prevent the release of his deadly concoction - leaving Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi just 48 hours to find the elusive antidote...

Once Padmé, Ahsoka and the clones become infected, however, the stakes are raised, leaving Anakin and Obi-Wan to sort out a solution...Their quest for the cure serves as a perfect vehicle to spotlight the relationship between the two Jedi, emphasizing their differences as well as their respect for one another.

[Lucasfilm]

Additional reporting by Alasdair Wilkins.

Monday:

No new Chuck this week.

Kyle XY -
Kyle gets in a car accident, and Mama Trager's in bad shape. Will Kyle make a deal with the devil to save her? Kyle XY is on ABC Family at 9 PM.

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip (lady calls Kyle 'dumb little bunny' hence forth we Matt Dallas will forever more be known as such)

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Promo

Heroes -
Matt's gone missing, and his super fast blonde hottie is feeling feelings about it. Sylar meets a new friend (Dan Byrd) who helps him find his papa. But honestly I wish they would just keep the focus on Biker Ando and Matt, because they're just about the only characters I care about, and I don't want to see them go the way of Elle. Heroes is on NBC at 9 PM.

Heroes Clip

Heroes Promo

Tuesday:

Fringe -
Escaped convict and over all creep, David Robert Jones, is back and bothering Olivia again — which will only end in her shooting him, I'm sure. But enough about the please-god-please-show-some-emotion Olivia: people's faces are getting filled in with excess skin, check it out below. Fringe is on Fox at 9 PM.

Fringe Promo

Wednesday:

Knight Rider-

It's up to our hunky man-hero and his smart car to find a kid who is a federal witness against a drug dealer. Fingers crossed that the kid has a terrible Southern accent, a bad attitude and knows where "the body" is. "Fly By Knight" is on NBC at 8 PM.

Knight Rider Promo

Lost -
Locke takes matters into his own hands again, which usually means somebody is going to die. "This Place Is Death" picks up right where the last one left off, wherever, or whenever the hell that was. It's on ABC at 9 PM. Time to place bets on how long until Charlotte kicks it.

Lost Promo

UFO Hunters -
This week, the alien experts figure out what the hell was behind Chicago O'Hare International Airport's encounter with a mysterious disk in the sky. UFO Hunters is on the History Channel at 10 PM.

Life On Mars -
Sam gets to hang with a 70s rock star who needs his protection. Let the free love, drugs and groupie gags roll, man. LOM is on ABC at 10 PM.

Movies:
See the real 20,00 Leagues Under The Sea (the 1954 classic) before Will Smith ruins it with a prequel, on TCM at 9:30 PM.

Thursday:

No new Smallville.

No new Supernatural.

Eleventh Hour -
Hood follows the stem cell trail back to his Nemesis Gepetto's (Kate Burton) door to uncover her cloning cover-up in the episode aptly titled "Pinocchio," on CBS at 10 PM.

Movies:
A scientist teaches a dolphin how to speak, and then has to prevent it from being used in an assassination plot. Yes, I'm in love with this movie. The Day Of The Dolphin is on 3:45 on TCM.

Friday:

There's an all day BSG marathon running on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM until 3 PM.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
The start of Fox's new Friday night bloc of awesomeness (we'll come up with a better name, we promise). Kyle Reese is back — sort of — and he's got a lot to say. TSCC is on Fox at 8 PM.

Producer Josh Friedman hosts a clip from the new episode:

TSCC Promo:

TSCC Promo:

Batman: The Brave And The Bold -
Bronze Tiger and B-man team up, on the Cartoon Network at 8 PM.

Star Wars: Clone Wars -
Jar Jar and Padmé team up to annoy the piss out of, well, everyone who ever treasured this franchise. The two uncover a bio-weapons lab, and well... an idiot character stumbling around glass test tubes filled with deadly viruses — you do the math. "Blue Shadow Virus" is on the Cartoon Network at 9 PM.

Dollhouse -
It is time. Joss Whedon's awesome brain emenations are back on TV, and we cannot wait to see this world he has built for Eliza Dushku and friends. Follow a group of mind-wiped "dolls" who are programmed and rented out for just about anything from murders, to hottie dates for high-school reunions. Dollhouse premieres on Fox at 9 PM.

Dollhouse Clip:


Dollhouse Clip:

Battlestar Galactica -
Can BSG top last weeks justice-meting episode? My guess is yes, because in this episode Ellen wakes up — and I bet she's pissed at her husband for killing her off months ago. BSG is on the Sci Fi Channel at 10 PM.

BSG Clip (U.S. only, sorry):

BSG Promo:

BSG Promo:

Saturday:

Movies:
Get to know the original blood drinker before he was all leather, lace and Hot Topic fodder, with a Dracula screening on AMC at 1 AM.

And if you're going to talk classics then you must check out the snowy parasite alien creature that slaughters an isolated research team, in John Carpenter's The Thing on the Sci Fi Channel at 11 PM.

Sunday:

Movies:
When your soul is kept in a painting, and you decide to live a life a dangerous and terrible life, how long until you peek at the picture and check out what kind of monster you've become? Or would you care? The Picture Of Dorian Gray is on TCM at 8 PM.

Before he was Deadpool, Ryan Reynolds spent his days pissing off Wesley Snipes, aka the day-walker in Blade Trinity at 11:30 AM on TNT.

I've mentioned (in morning spoilers) that I'm not too enthusiastic about the "Kyle's surrogate mom gets in a car accident" storyline. It feels a bit too soap operatic, and I don't want to see Nicole turned into just a martyr or victim. But the kids' acting in this scene really sells me on it, actually. And judging from the episode's promo, this is going to lead to Kyle making a deal with the devils at Latnok.

Monday

Chuck -
Get a face full of spy gadgets and retail nerd action, in this weeks all-3D Chuck. Dominic Monaghan stars as a tiny rocker who is in danger. So it's up to Chuck to babysit the little Hobbit. Chuck is on NBC at 8 PM

Chuck Clip



Heroes -
Heroes is back, and giving Ando a bigger role. Hiro promises to make Ando a superhero, while all the other Heroes side plots return home. Until Nathan and Sylar start to stir shit up , again. Someone needs to teleport Sylar into space or something. Heroes is on NBC at 9 PM.

Heroes Clip

Heroes Promo

Kyle XY -
Kyle is depressed over his break-up with Amanda, so you know what that means...boys night out! Here's hoping the belly buttonless Kyle gets a pity frak. The next episode is on ABC Family at 9 PM.

Kyle XY Clip



Kyle XY Clip



Kyle XY Clip



Kyle XY Clip



DRUNK Kyle XY Clip

Tuesday

Get pumped up for Eliza Dushku's triumphant return! There's a Tru Calling marathon on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM until 3 PM.

The Universe -
Travel to the end of space or at least attempt with The Universe on the History Channel at 8 PM.

Fringe -
What's with Fringe and planes? This week there's another evil virus that attacks yet another mode of transportation. And Olivia and Peter get to be super secret spies! Fringe is on Fox at 9 PM.

Fringe Promo

Wednesday

Knight Rider -
This week on the show with a thousand excuses to take off the main character's shirt, Mike helps an old Army buddy try and find out what happened at their old drill sergeant's secret fight club, on NBC at at 8 PM. First rule of Knight Rider Fight Club is...

Lost -
It's an Aaron-centric Lost story. Someone knows who his real parents are, and for god sakes, will someone clear up at least one myth surrounding this little tyke. "The Little Prince" is on ABC at 9 PM.

Lost Clip



Lost Promo

Life On Mars -
Sam is working a decapitation case, which reads like a terrible mystery novel. Hopefully Sam will have to save himself from danger by rapping like Vanilla Ice once again. LOM is on 10 PM at ABC.

UFO Hunters -
Mile wide UFOs! UFO Hunters are doing a special on the biggest UFOs ever unidentified in the sky on the History Channel at 10 PM.

Thursday

Smallville -
Oliver is injured, again. Chloe tries to uncover the secret behind LuthorCorp's evil dealings, again. And Clark wants to be with Lana but they can't for some reason or another, again. Smallville is on the CW at 8 PM.

Smallville Promo

Supernatural -
It's sexy lady time over, on the spooky bromance show. The brothers are charged with finding a modern Siren, so it's time to hit the strip clubs. Supernatural is on the CW at 9 PM.

Supernatural Clip



Eleventh Hour -
Hood's evil nemesis Gepetto (Kate Burton) is stealing stem cells. Activate Hood's crazy eyebrow attack system! Eleventh Hour is on CBS at 10 PM.

There's a Joan of Arcadia marathon on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 until 3 PM.

Friday

Batman: The Brave And The Bold -
Despero wants to wipe out the space cops and turn the Green Lanterns' planet into a weapon. The latest episode of Batman The Brave and the Bold is on Cartoon Network at 8 PM.

Star Wars: Clone Wars -
Obi-Wan smells a rat in his team, and it's up to him and Anakin to smoke out the baddie. Clone Wars i son the Cartoon Network at 9 PM.

Star Wars: Clone Wars Promo

Battlestar Galactica -
Adama's woman is piiiiiisssssssed. Will Gaeta have the stones to actually airlock the old man for his "crimes"? Tune into the Sci Fi Channel, where there's a full scale mutiny on board Galactica at 10 PM.

BSG Promo

BSG Promo

Saturday

Movies:

Have a craving for hot women in tiny outfits with zero plot? Then Ultraviolet is the movie for you, on TNT at 1 PM.

Like Jumanji, but in space, Zathura is on TBS at 1:45 AM.

Sunday

Movies:

It's a bug movie marathon on the Sci Fi Channel Sunday, starting with Larva at 9 AM, The Hive at 11 AM, Caved In at 1 PM, Black Swarm at 7 PM, Locusts at 9 PM and Locusts 2 at 11 PM.