Monday:

The Universe –
What's "Beyond The Big Bang" after all? Physicists and historians gather round to talk creation and utilize some nifty animations showing how the universe was made, on The History Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:
Could anyone replace Michael Keaton as Beetlejuice? Seriously I'd love to see someone try to remake the ghost with the most, and fail miserably. Even the cartoon was funny, but sadly not the same without MK. Watch the original on ABC Family at 9:30 PM, and marvel at how young and innocent Alec Baldwin looked.

Tuesday:

There's a Doctor Who marathon from 8 AM to 4 PM over at the SciFi Channel — nothing wrong with that.

Life After People –
What will happen to the city of cars when we all disappear? Will Detroit's vast car lots become dangerous land mines? Also looks like the future aliens will have a long-horn cattle problem if they ever try to settle on Earth after we're gone. Seriously hasn't this show run out of topics yet? "It will get old, deteriorate and be covered with plants" seems to be the answer for everything. But maybe cars will be different. Check it out on the History Channel at 10 PM.

Wednesday:

MonsterQuest –
Think crocodiles only eat pirate hands? WRONG, these creatures are large and in charge — just ask the cast of Lake Placid. In fact, since I can't find a clip from this week's episode on the The History Channel at 9 PM, I'm going to include my favorite Placid moment, to get you revved up for super ginormous crocodiles.

Mythbusters –
The boys pin cars against the rain and proceed to bust up all the weather related car myths on The Discovery Channel at 9 PM.

Ryan Reynolds is on Letterman — shilling for The Proposal, no doubt — but maybe he'll talk a little Deadpool, which is infinitely more interesting than yet another rom com. We'll have to wait and see on CBS at 11:30

Conan plays host to William Shatner, and McLovin (Christopher Mintz-Plasse). So there's really no reason not to tune into The Tonight Show on NBC at 11:30.

Thursday:

Mini Joan Of Arcadia marathon on from 8 AM until 3 PM on the SciFi Channel. It's all about a modern day Joan of Arc (kind of.) Oh, and God is a hottie.

Movies:
There's a bit o' Bond to get you through the night, from the SciFi Channel. At 6:30 PM Roger Moore stars in the movie with maybe the best theme song, Live and Let Die. After that, Pierce Bronsan takes the reins to ensure Tomorrow Never Dies.

Friday:
Batman The Brave And The Bold -
Batman gets zapped to the future, where animals are humanoid, and now we're the pets, or urm... slaves? But whatever — there are CAT PEOPLE, on the Cartoon Network at 8:30 PM.

Clip:

Clip:

Clip:

Saturday:

Kings –
It's Silas' birthday and uh-oh, there's a city-wide blackout. And you guys know what blackout is code for in TV land, secret sex, and lots of it. In the darkness, David tries to explain himself to the Princess, Jack makes off for his secret man lover and I sit alone in the corner and weep for what NBC did to this beautiful series. Kings is on NBC at 8 PM.

Primeval -
The ARC is being taken over by the military, and the group has to flee to the hills. As our heroes abandon their technology, it's humans versus prehistoric Terror Birds, on BBC America at 9 PM.

Sunday:
There's a Mythbusters marathon from 10 a.m. to past midnight, which promises a lot of smashing and crashing.

BBC Earth -
The lovely series BBC Earth will be airing on BBC America. This special is dedicated "Charles Darwin and the Tree of Life," delightful. It airs at 5 PM.

First 10 Minutes

Impact –
The two-parter miniseries Impact has managed to do the unthinkable, make both Natasha Henstridge and David James Elliot unattractive. But you know you're going to watch it, because there's nothing else on TV, and you're a sucker for an apocalypse movie. The moon is crashing to Earth, and it's up to these mega cable TV show stars to save us all, at 9 PM on ABC.

Impact Promo

True Blood -
Mother of God, what have you done to my Lafayette? There had better be some explaining this episode. But it looks like this week, we're in for some Jessica and Sookie one-on-one time, so no that shouldn't be shrillingly annoying at all. Ah, I kid. I love you ladies and every melodramatic moment you give me, bad accents and all. "Keep This Party Going" is on HBO at 10 PM.

Additional writing and reporting by Caitlin Petrakovitz.

Monday:

The Universe -
This weeks episode explores the dangers of space exploration, and the many ways the cosmic void can kill you. Check it out on the History Channel at 8 PM.

Tuesday:

Life After People -
Once we're all gone, what will happen to our all our WMDs? Will they detonate eventually, after time has its way with each deadly missile? Assuming any animals survive our extinction, would they be in danger if all the bombs on the Earth went boom? Life After People is on the History Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:

The saddest little robot in all the world with the longest never-ending tale, A.I., is on 7:30 PM on Cinemax.

Meet the man who's so extreme his name has three X's. That's right Vin Diesel's XXX, the movie about some tattooed extreme sports guy who has to fight terrorists (of course), is on 5 PM on FX.

Wednesday:

MonsterQuest -
The monster gang gets to the bottom of a monkey creature that terrorized the people of New Delhi in 2001. A South Asian cousin of Big Foot? I'm thinking yes, but get all the monster facts on the History Channel at 9 PM.

Mythbusters -
Time to test the curve-the-bullet theory from the scrupulously scientific movie Wanted, on Mythbusters over on the Discovery Channel at 9 PM.

Here Is The Actual Video From The User Challenge:

Thursday:

Eliza Dushku fans, rejoice! There's a Tru Calling marathon from 8 AM until 3 PM on the Syfy Channel.

Movies:

Watch the art of dragon riding and pouty swordplay, while watching Eragon at 7:30 PM on the ABC Family channel.

Learn how to drink beer the alien way in the SNL sketch inspired film Coneheads, staring the original players Dan Aykoyd and Jane Curtin. It airs on Comedy Central at 4:30 PM.

Friday:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold -
Jonah Hex winds up in Gotham after a battle with Zebra-Man, and a little time traveling. After some initial misundersandings, Batman is convinced to help Hex back to his time in exchange for information. The new episode is on Cartoon Network at 8:30 PM.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Clip:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Clip:

Saturday:

Kings -
God save NBC's Kings. The alternate reality monarchy drama is back in action tonight. Where did we leave off? In this episode Jack and David go to Gath to "shore up" the peace, and I think we all know what that means. Also Michelle prances around with her health bill some more, and Silas tries to protect the city from a plague (which was actually made before all this scary swine flu drama so how strangely timely). Kings is back at 8 PM on NBC, for two more weeks.

Primeval -
A flesh eating fungus from the past is unleashed onto our world turning one soul into a fungus monster. BBC America at 9 PM.

Primeval Trailer:

Pushing Daisies -
It's the proper series finale for Daisies. The Darling Mermaid Darling's rival Aquadolls are killed, which means it's time for a mermaid revival. Olive and Ned team up to uncover the murderer, while Chuck hides in the wings. Watch, for the last time, our dear pie-maker and friends, on ABC at 10 PM.

Trailer (Sorry it's in German, can't find English)

Sunday:

True Blood-
It's been too long since we've blown a blood line and got naked with the ridiculous vampire community in Bon Temps. But this Sunday Alan Ball's blood sucking series based on the books by Charlaine Harris is back. So whose foot was that in the car? Are our worst suspicions true, and the very best character from last season is now food for worms? Will I be able to even watch this series without one redeeming character (unless the new religious ones are interesting? I'm thinking no.) Guess we'll have to wait and see, on HBO at 9 PM.

True Blood Trailer Promo

Monday:

Underwater Universe -
Dive to the bottom of the ocean without getting wet. Learn all about deadly threats in the deep blue sea, as the special takes you to the seven deadliest zones in the history of the ocean. Check it out on the History Channel at 8 PM.

Tuesday:

Earth 2100 -
ABC imagines what will happen to our filthy, polluting butts in 2100, by consulting the experts and asking for video submissions from people all over. In their nightmare scenario, gas will be $9 a gallon and a carton of milk will be $12. Hell, screw the endangered species — that's expensive. But if you factor in inflation... maybe we'll focus back on the animals. One expert theorizes that we'll resort back to a Medieval caste system, which could be fun if it's like we get to live in an SCA gathering full-time. ABC News Special: Earth 2100 is on at 9 PM.

Trailer:

Clip:


Clip:


Clip:


Clip:


Clip:

Movies:

Buckle down for a back-to-back buster evening, with screenings of the original Ghostbusters at 8 PM and Ghostbusters II at 10:30 PM on AMC.

Wednesday:

MonsterQuest -
The monster hunters trek over to Papau New Guinea in search of a flying creature with a 20-ft. wingspan... aaaaand sold. See if the being is a terrifying giant bat, or just a dragon, on the History Channel at 9 PM.

Life After People -
So now that we know what will happen to paintings and our swimming pools (both will become overrun by bugs and disease) what about Sin City? What's in store for Las Vegas, once we're all gone? Will the animals learn how to play blackjack? Life After People is on the History Channel at 9 PM.

Mythbusters -
Can you really tunnel your way out of a cement prison with a tiny mallet? New Mythbusters puts science to work on common prison escape myths on the Discovery Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:
Possibly the best of the Stargate movies, Continuum, is on the Syfy Channel at 9 PM. Delve deep into the man that is Ben Browder, when the world erases him (and many members of his team) from existence, at 9 PM.

Thursday:

There is an original-series Land Of The Lost marathon over at the Syfy Channel from 6 AM until 5:30 PM.

Friday:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold -
Catwoman is getting frisky, and interfering with our main Bat's plans for a quiet crime free evening. Plus, the Red Tornado faces a difficult decision when he needs to turn off his own son. The new episode is on Cartoon Network at 8:30 PM.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Clip:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Clip:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Clip:

Saturday:

Primeval -
Mick steals an anomaly detector to uncover what's going on at the airport. But when a Giganotosaurus appears they have figure out a way to get it back in time, before the public realizes they're in danger and panics. That's on BBC America at 9 PM.

Primeval Trailer:

Pushing Daisies -
A rich man's murder leads some breadcrumbs to the location of Emerson's missing daughter. David Arquette moons over Olive as Randy Mann. Catch the second to last Daisies ever on ABC, at 10 PM.

Trailer (Sorry it's in German, can't find English)

Sunday:

Movies:
The Syfy channel premiere of Bottom Feeders, a bloody little film about a maintenance crew that becomes the snack for the monster living in their building. Starring Tom Sizemore, on the Syfy Channel at 8 PM.

Tuesday:

Reaper -
Sam gets his chance to win back his soul from the Devil, but what game will they play? Reaper is on the CW at 8 PM.

Reaper Promo:

Reaper Promo:

Wednesday:

Tales From The Darkside marathon on the Syfy Channel form 8 AM until 3:30 PM.

Life After People -
What will happen to the Mona Lisa once we've all left the planet? Or what about the Declaration of Independence, the cable cars in San Francisco and the Liberty Bell? Does it even matter if we're all dead or gone? Answer these important eschatological questions, with Life After People, on the History Channel at 9 PM

Thursday:

Mythbusters -
What happens when you combine thermite and ice? Kaboom. Apparently there's a myth solved somewhere in there as well, but come on — things go boom! New Mythbusters on the Discovery Channel at 9 PM.

Kablam Clip:

How To Make Thermite Clip:

Friday:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold -
Bat-Mite is channeling the Great Gazoo, floating around and making Batman's life a little more troubling. Especially when he upgrades his gear. But how could the Bat get mad at that face? Check out the clips below. The new episode is on Cartoon Network a 8:30 PM.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Clip:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Clip:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Clip:

Saturday:

Primeval -
Correction and UPDATE actual summary: "Cute but surprisingly dangerous burrowing creatures called Diictodons almost cause a disaster at a hospital when an anomaly opens from the Permian era. Calamity is averted by Cutter, Connor, Abby and Becker who, in the course of the story, are obliged to get the creatures back to their own time whilst simultaneously delivering a (human) baby. A dogged journalist, determined to catch one of the creatures and expose the ARC and its secrets to the world, doesn't help the situation. Meanwhile Lester, Jenny and Sarah are confronted with an attack on the ARC, led by Helen and a small army of "Cleaner Replicas". " That's on BBC America at 9 PM.

Primeval Clip:

Sunday:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force -
Tonight is the big live action ATHF premiere. Singer T-Pain (you know the "Buy You A Drank" guy) is playing Frylock (and is also getting his own series next year). Dave Long Jr. (found in an open audition) is Carl (that's a big wife beater to fill) and Jon Benjamin will be Master Shake. Check it out, on Cartoon Network at 11:45 PM. .

Best Of Carl:


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Monday:

Weaponizers -
Cars are turned into weapons Death Race/Mad Max style. In fact, one of the new episodes this week (there are two back-to-back) is focusing exclusively on cars inspired by Mad Max. The other episode pits a meat truck against an ice-cream trolly. The ultimate showdown! Check it out on the Discovery Channel at 8 and 9 PM.

Weaponizers Promo:

Movies:

A classic example of "be careful what you wish for" is the film Click. When hard-at-work father, played by Adam Sandler, is granted the gift of a remote control to his life he can now fast forward through all the boring parts, like work and fights with his hottie wife. But, uh oh — turns out it's the boring parts that make up an important part of the journey of life. It's like the time I wished for more Christopher Walken cameos in my movie life, but what I received was Walken guiding Sandler down a vomit inducing journey towards self discovery, spewing out craptastic family comes first lines, while working in the "Beyond" section of Bed Bath and Beyond. Click is on FX at 8 PM.

Tuesday:

Still need that Eliza Dushku fix? You're in luck, there is a Tru Calling marathon on the Syfy Channel from 8 AM until 3 PM.

Reaper -
Sam gets a message from his Dad — from hell — which may be the key to ending his deal with the devil. Reaper is on the CW at 8 PM.

Reaper Clip:

Reaper Promo:

Life After People -
If the human species disappeared off the face of the planet, Miami would eventually be washed away and alligators would rule the Earth, or something similar to that. Life After People is on the History Channel at 9 PM

Wednesday:

Mythbusters -
What do a small girl, a screwdriver and a seesaw all have in common? The Mythbusters are finding out on the Discovery Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:

Enjoy David Bowie doing what he does best: acting like an out of place alien astronaut who lands on Earth, in Nicolas Roeg's The Man Who Fell To Earth on the Sundance Channel at 10:30 PM.

Thursday:

There will be a Level 9 marathon on the Syfy Channel from 8 AM until 3 PM.

Movies:

Battle demons with Keanu Reeves' magical tattoos, in Constantine on AMC at 10:30 PM.

Friday:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold -
Robin teams up with the Bat again to fight Crazy Quilt. But it sounds as though there may be some unspoken tension between the two crusaders. The new episode is on Cartoon Network a 8:30 PM.

Movies:

There's a pretty solid movie marathon over at the Syfy Channel all day, highlighting a lot of quality flicks including The Thing at 12:30 PM, Judge Dredd at 4:30 PM, Total Recall at 6:30 PM, The Descent at 9 PM and Freddy Versus Jason at 11 PM.

Saturday:

Primeval -
The latest beastie to mess with the Primeval gang has superior camouflage, and sharp pointy fangs. See how the gang captures this crafty little gremlin, on BBC America at 9 PM.

Primeval Clip:

Movies:

Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock are hippie witches who now have to fend for themselves, after "accidentally" murdering an ex-boyfriend. Think of it as a romantic comedy with magic, completely with the obligatory "we're so happy we dance around the table" scene. Practical Magic is on ABC Family at 10 PM.

Sunday:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force -
Frylock falls takes a side job in "Der Inflatable Fuhrer" on the Cartoon Network on at 11:45 PM. Don't forget next week ATHF is live action.

ATHF Promo:

Movies:

Celebrate the swine flu, by remembering when we all used to be afraid of Ebola. Outbreak, the movie where Dustin Hoffman's words save a small city, is on AMC at 7 PM.

Monday:

Movies:

In a future where cloning is possible but human cloning illegal, Arnold Schwarzenneger returns home to find a clone of himself living with his family. If only this were real life, so that Arnold could govern California and make more totally awesome movies like this simultaneously. The 6th Day is on Showtime at 3:45 PM.

Hulk is Ed Norton. That's more like it. Hulk not smash this movie. The Incredible Hulk is on Cinemax at 10 PM.

Tuesday:

Fringe -
After the mean way Oliva brought our beloved Walter to tears in last weeks episode, I'm not surprised he took off with the Observer. Okay, maybe he deserved it a tiny bit, but Olivia you are a wicked, wicked lady in a sharp business suit. This is is the big season finale for Fringe — and you know what that means: time for the William Bell cameo. I trust you all remember who's portraying the evil CEO of Massive Dynamics? Fringe is on Fox at 9 PM.

Fringe Promo:

Reaper -
Sam has to capture his jerky old high school biology teacher, while Ben is stuck fighting off attacking demons, drawn to Nina's pheromones. Reaper is on the CW at 8 PM.

Reaper Clip:

Reaper Promo:

Life After People -
What will happen to all of our precious metals, once people are wiped from he face of the Earth? Surprisingly even less interesting than the pools-of-disease theme from last week. But on the plus side, this week we find out what the horses will do without us. Run free, Black Stallion! Life After People is on the History Channel at 9 PM

Life After People Promo:

Wednesday:

Lost: A Journey in Time -
Recap your favorite Lost moments from the season and prepare for the oncoming finale, in an hour-long clip show on at 8 PM on ABC.

Lost -
So are we going to blow up the island this week, or just keep talking about it? This is it kids, the season finale of Lost. The big reveal. Jack must once again convince everyone he's right... or maybe wrong, because what is he island if not a place to revolt against Jack Sheppard? Also, we're getting Kate, Juliet and Sawyer flashbacks, and hopefully ending this tedious love quadrangle once and for all. Check it out on ABC at 9 PM.

Lost Clip:

Lost Promo:

Mythbusters -
Can you explode a car from the bumper? Find out all you ever wanted to know about locomotive lore at Mythbusters on the Discovery Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:

Watch Alan Tudyck's CG robot face steal each scene from an actual human, Will Smith, in I, Robot on FX at 5:30 PM.

Thursday:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold -
Booster travels back in time for celebrity status, but winds up helping Vandal and Savage with their evil deeds. The new episode is on Cartoon Network a 8:30 PM.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Clip

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Clip

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Clip

Smallville -
Clark's death is on the horizon, because of his incompetent friend Chloe and her never-ending ability to ruin everything. It's the Superman versus Doomsday showdown, and final episode of the season. Let's hope it goes out with a bang... that ends Chloe. Smallville is on the CW at 8 PM.

Smallville Clip

Smallville Promo

Supernatural -
The finale of the fourth season of Supernatural has the two brothers revving up to fight Lucifer to prevent the end of the world, but can these two siblings stop fighting each other long enough to actually fight the baddies? See the big fight on the CW at 9 PM

3 Supernatural Clips:

Supernatural Promo:

Supernatural Promo:

Friday:

Movies:
The Serenity crew is back, in this follow up the dearly departed Joss Whedon series Firefly and as usual they're on the run from the powers that be. Catch Serenity at 6:30 PM on the Syfy Channel.

Saturday:

Primeval-
It's the start of the third season, and the first beastie we meet is an ancient Egyptian crocodile, or the Pristichampsus. The massive croc pops by London's British Museum, after an anomaly is opened, and now it's up to the gang to send it back where it came from. Primeval is on BBC America at 9 PM.

Primeval Season 3 Promo:

Movies:

In an eerily similar world to the eerie world of I Am Legend, viewers are left wondering who this Will Smith impersonator is and where is his dog. I Am Omega is on the Syfy Channel at 3 PM.

Sunday:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Frylock falls in love, on the Cartoon Network on at 11:45 PM.

Movies:

Ah, one of my favorites. Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn will stop at nothing to gain revenge and beauty. Using Bruce Willis as their little man pawn, the two try to one-up the other all the way to a secret underground society that will give you eternal youth, even in death. Death Becomes Her is on We at 7 PM.

Additional reporting from Julia Carusillo

Monday:

Movies:

So now that many of you have seen Wolverine, tell me, which one was better? The new prequel, or X-Men The Last Stand, which is on at 5 PM at FX or Origins?

A virus is spreading, in this remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and it's not the botulism injected into lead actress Nicole Kidman's unmoving face. The Invasion is on at 3:30 PM on HBO.

Old men get launched into space to save the world and make old people jokes — because they're old, and that's why it's funny. Space Cowboys is on Cinemax at 5:45 PM.

Tuesday:

Fringe -
This week Fringe reaches into their never ending bag of creepy old man villains and pulls out... a Trekkie. How timely. But also, the Observer knows something that is upsetting Walter, which is not okay in my book. Back off, baldie, this man is a national scifi treasure. Fringe is on Fox at 9 PM.

Fringe Promo:

Fringe Promo:

Reaper -
Nina moves in with the guys, and Sam tries to trick a wealthy jerk into signing over his soul. Who is so rich, he owns polar bears for guard dogs. How do I get that rich? Reaper is on the CW at 8 PM.

Reaper Clip:

Life After People -
Learn how your pools will turn into spawning grounds for diseases, if all the humans were to mysteriously vanish from the face of the Earth right now. Life After People is on the History Channel at 9 PM

Life After People Promo:

Wednesday:

Better Off Ted -
Veronica lets down her hair on Better Off Ted — thus scaring the crap out of her entire department. The season finale of Ted is on ABC at 8:30 PM.

Better Off Ted Clip:

Better Off Ted Clip:

Lost -
Lost, Lost, Lost....what you did last week was unacceptable. The screams of a thousand Daniel-loving geeks pierced the night air, how could you? Now all I'm left with is a domesticated house cat Sawyer and a plot that revolves around Kate and Jack trying to save the island. I may never forgive this show for that. But perhaps by trying to execute Faraday's final plans, Kate and Jack will actually manage to press the magic "reset button" and bring Daniel back to us — but we all know the show is too smart for that. Lost is on ABC at 9 PM.

Lost Promo:

Mythbusters -
The magic-bullet myths are tackled in this week's Mythbusters on the Discovery Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:

An athletic teenaged lycanthrope experiences the trials and tribulations of high school in the 1980s. Teen Wolf — the man, the legend — is on 8:30 PM on Cinemax.

Thursday:

Nothing but Star Trek Enterprise and TNG on the Syfy Channel from 8 AM until 8 PM, and then Star Trek: First Contact airs at 9 PM

Smallville -
So this time on "Chloe does crappy things to her friends," Davis is still alive and Chloe thinks she can control him by being around him 24/7... because, yeah, she's that good. Oh wait — looks like it's not working out, and everything all of her friends and ex-fiance told her was true, who knew? Ugh, what a waste of the Doomsday character. Smallville is on the CW at 8 PM.

Smallville Promo

Smallville Clip

Supernatural -
Time to get Sam to kick the demon-blood habit, so cue the intervention music and watch as Sam spirals down a predictable drying out, Trainspotting hallucination session. Let's pray for intervening angel fights to break up the predictable coming clean episode, Supernatural is on the CW at 9 PM

Supernatural Promo:

Supernatural Clip:

Friday:

There is another Star Trek: Enterprise marathon at the Syfy Channel from 8 AM until 5:30 PM.

Dollhouse
After falling madly in love with Alan Tudyk's crazy eyes, we're dying to find out more about his Echo obsession (and who'd he download into her?), plus did anyone else catch the name of the new girl... Whiskey? The season finale is on Fox at 9 PM.

Dollhouse Promo:

Movies:

It's actually a banner day over at AMC, with Poltergeist at 1 AM, Mystery Men at 12:30, Highlander at 3 PM and Star Trek: Nemesis at 5:30 PM.... I don't think you really could do much better, as far as taste and range here, unless you swapped out Nemesis for Khan).

Saturday:

Movies:

Join Will Smith as he continues in his quest to save the earth from all forms of CG-animated miscreants, in Men in Black, at 4:15 PM on TNT.

My favorite women-power, women-kill-each-other-with-sharp-things-in-the-dark movie of all time, The Descentm is on at 9 PM on the Syfy Channel. Make sure you see it because the sequel is right around the corner.

Sunday:

It's a Mother's Day Eureka marathon on the Syfy Channel, from 9 AM until 6 PM. I have no idea why.

Movies:

Have a freaky Sunday, and remember how hard it is to be a mom, with a teenage girl stuck inside of her. The original version of the classic Disney body-swapping caperFreaky Friday is on at 6 PM on AMC.

Additional reporting from Julia Carusillo

A staggering 5.4 million people watched the Life After People special back in January, the most in the history of, well, History (formerly the History Channel). One of a number of books and specials exploring the future of this planet if humans suddenly vanished, Life After People was successful enough to warrant an entire ten-episode series, further exploring the premise.

I wouldn't necessarily have thought there was ten hours worth of material to be had from this idea, particularly when the original documentary covered so much ground, but the series has quite a few tricks up its sleeve.

The series premiere, "The Bodies Left Behind," makes the rather unusual move of looking at what will happen to those already dead when all the living humans disappear. The episode explores everything from Egyptian mummies to cryogenically frozen bodies, comparing their potential longevity with more abstract attempts to preserve humanity for posterity, such as the Sistine Chapel or the Statue of Liberty.

"Outbreak", the next episode, does what any good second episode should do and unleashes some utter chaos. All the pets roam free, plants grow uncontrollably, and viruses that humans had conquered return with a vengeance. The third episode, "The Capital Threat", appeals to the patriotic side of our post-apocalyptic voyeurism by examining the fates of various symbols of American democracy, from the Washington Monument to the Constitution.

Throughout, Life After People will feature interview from experts in all relevant fields, including engineering, geology, and archaeology. The series will also visit sites that humans have already left, such as Japan's Hashima Island, a former coal-mining facility that was once the most densely populated place in human history before its abandonment in 1974. And the series promises to continue the original special's proud tradition of examining what happens to skyscrapers when all the humans leave (I can't help but suspect this whole enterprise is really just a serious, high-minded attempt to make The Simpsons' vision of the Fox special When Buildings Collapse into a reality).

Get ready for the return of Life After People, with this trailer for the original special. The series debuts at 10 pm on Tuesday, April 21.

The special asks what would happen to the planet once humans are gone, and manages to answer in a way that's both informative and visually compelling, blending interviews with experts, CGI animation, and haunting shots of already-human-free locations like Chernobyl.

The show opens with humankind having already vanished from the planet, and we have no idea where everyone went. Sadly, we've left behind all of our domesticated pets, and there are several scenes of an abandoned puppy wondering where everyone has gone to tug at our heartstrings. However, one of the experts tells us that the cute and tiny breeds of dogs will die off very quickly, and that packs of large feral dogs will roam as scavengers. Sorry about that, you Yorkie owners out there.

Another fascinating element of Life After People is a segment about how buildings would break down without the presence of humans. You wouldn't think that skyscrapers rely on humans to keep them together, but once the power goes out, that turns off the climate controls. That would cause the metal window frames to expand with heat, then fuse shut. And then it's just a matter of time until the glass breaks from its frame. Without windows, air pressure changes within the entire structure, and it becomes a lightning attractor. One strike, and you've got The Towering Inferno, sans OJ Simpson.

We also learn how quickly power sources would die out over the years, with the longest continual power most likely coming from Hoover Dam. Of course, it too would be doomed once mollusks choke the coolant pipes and the generators auto-shutdown. That means no more lights or the steady bleep-bloop of slot machines trying to attract your attention in Vegas.

The special starts from Day One without people, and goes all the way to 10,000 years later. So, who ends up coming out on top when we leave the planet? The cockroaches, of course. Oh, and Mount Rushmore, which experts think may still be standing after 100,000 years. Zoinks. Life After People will be shown several more times on The History Channel over the next few weeks. Catch it if you're still around.

Monday night is, once again, a block of teenage almost-superheroes. At 8 PM on ABC Family, Kyle XY continues the "OMG my hawt female counterpart is outta control!" plot. Except now Jessi is going to Kyle's school and acting extra bratty. Before you know it, she'll be faking a broken neck to freak out the stuck-up head cheerleader or something. Here's the trailer:
Then at 9 PM, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles is also about our male hero going to school with his weird female companion. The only difference is, our female Terminator isn't a crazy show-off like Jessi. Or maybe she kind of is, judging from the man-grabbing action in this trailer:
Also on Monday, at 10 PM, is Life After People on the History Channel. It's a porntacular look at how the world would get on without any of us pesky humans cluttering it up. Pretty well, by all accounts.

Tuesday at 9, there's the final episode of time-travel cop show Life On Mars on BBC America. Gene rushes to catch a notorious cop killer. Meanwhile, Morgan promises to Sam that after just "one more job" he can go home to 2006. It's the heart-stopping climax where we find out what's really been happening all this time.

Wednesday night... umm... League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is showing on FX. CMTV has Little Beauties, a child beauty pageant that really ought to be science fictional but isn't. Besides that... I dunno. get out of the house. Go bowling. Does your town still have a bowling alley? They're dying out, you know.

Thursday, the final two episodes of Chuck completed before the strike are airing. But not back-to-back. NBC couldn't possibly be that sensible. Instead, it's a "Chuck sandwich," with a new episode of Celebrity Apprentice smushed between two Chucks at 8 and 10 PM. Does NBC think there's some crossover audience that loves Chuck and is just waiting to discover Celebrity Apprentice? As for the plot of the two episodes... there's an evil spy, and we learn more about why Jayne from Firefly is so mean. (It's because he's Jayne from Firefly, duh.) Here's a trailer:
Also on Thursday at 8, there's a Smallville rerun.

Friday as usual, it's all about the Scifi Channel, the only channel that expects its core demographic to stay home on a Friday night. At 8, there's Flash Gordon, which sounds like a new peak of awesomeness for the series. For starters, the cold region of Mongo is called Frigia. And it has a queen, who I'm guessing wears frosty blue lipstick and a white spangly leotard. Flash has to rescue her, so he can fulfill the final step of the prophecy and become the savior of Mongo. Speaking of which, is anybody else tired of prophecies in science fiction?

And then at 9 PM, there's a new Stargate: Atlantis. Speaking of queens and perilous journeys and stuff, Sheppard and McKay have to escort a young princess on her "rite of passage" so she can become a queen. There's no prophecy, as far as I can tell, but there is a beast. Here's the trailer:
Saturday sees the first episode of Torchwood season two on BBC America at 9 PM. (Here's our spoilery review of the episode, which you can always go back and read after you see it.) A less spoilery description: Captain Jack returns from swanning around with David Tennant, and the crew is all pissy with him for staying away so long. But then they have to work together when Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer arrives through a hole in time, wanting to suck their blood kiss them. And here's another trailer:

Sunday, you're on your own. Unless you take the title of Scott Baio Is 46... And Pregnant literally, which would make it sci-fi-ish.