I am currently moving my entire house, including my extremely large book collection, from one end of San Francisco to the other. This has led to a shocking number of book boxes and a lot of dust-related sinus tragedies. But I'm still going to take an hour off to find out what the hell is up with Starbuck's quest to know why she was able to burn her own dead body . . . plus there's going to be some hot Boomer-on-Tyrol action (hopefully).

Tell your fellow io9ers what you're thinking about the episode as you watch. Only four more episodes (including tonight's), so it had better be good!

Just read all your SPOILERY comments as I got ready to settle down with some ice cream and warm up ye olde plasma screen. All I can say is that old people having sex rules, and I can't wait to see it. So there. Also, Gaeta having sex is good too. Kthx.

I like how in the intro we suddenly get this weirdly intimate look at Adama's toiletries for the first time.

I'm liking the Happy Tigh and Mama Six scenario. "The Cylon nation will survive," says Number Six, looking at a computer-generated image of her computer-generated baby. Intriguing - an emerging cylon nationalism. And Gaeta is the first person to express disgust with the idea of cylon sovereignty. Interesting.

I also like watching the government slowly crumble as Roslin goes AWOL. Or rather, not crumbling but turning more and more into a military-run institution. At this point I think we can say for sure that in many ways BSG is a show that honestly believes a military-run nation is probably better than one run by civilians. After all, our civilians are sort of crazy like Roslin, or extremely partisan like Zarek. Only Lee and the Admiral seem like reasonable options for running the Fleet, and they are military.

Oh, there's that KY ad. I'm so glad BSG is sponsored by KY.

"Frak the Quorum," says Saul in a meeting about how to proceed with the cylon-human alliance. Nice. I like this little military confab with Adama and some of the final five, plus the cylon-loving Helo. I look forward to the cylon-human alliance - it actually does make sense now that we understand that the cylon are not a monolithic group and in fact are fragmented into factions. At least Adama admits that inviting the Cylon into the fleet is a political decision he can't make without input from pissy-face President Lady.

I will admit, I really am sick of Roslin. She needs to buck up.

Also, why is it that whenever Callie is around - even when she's just being mentioned - everything turns into LiveJournal drama? Seriously, did we really need a Questioning Paternity Moment with Tyrol discovering that his baby isn't really his baby? And needs a kidney? Soapy!

Even more soapy is the strange scene with pissy-face Prez dividing up her drugs. Is that her LSD stash? Or her anti-cancer drugs?

Also, best commercial ever: Planet Raptor!!!!

I like seeing Roslin do her sexy yoga stuff. But I don't like seeing Adama tell her what she should think about the cylons. I thought it was going to be her decision! Now he's saying, "An alliance is critical." Alliance is only good if we can see Tyrol get all uppity about cylon technology again. Smokin Tyrol!

Also, contrary to what a lot of people have said, I think the Newly Bitchy Gaeta is kind of fun. He's really doing a giant Gossip Girl routine on Starbuck, trying to bait her about marrying a cylon. "Maybe you're a cylon too," says Gaeta. "At least I'm not a gimp," she says. And now he's snarking at her about pity fraks? Gaeta! Snap!

Zarek is BSG's idea of what Tom Hayden would be like if he became a politican in the future. Or maybe a future white guy Malcolm X? He's certainly a separatist, as we can see in this scene where he leads the Quorum in a vote to separate from the cylon fleet. What the hell, not letting cylons board human ships? Is the same guy who advocates for "the people"? I guess only if the people are human. Lousy human bastard!

I'm concerned about this whole post-commercial break moment. So Roslin is doing the Death Jog? Is that what that is? Meanwhile, closeup on Adama's toiletries. Plus toothpaste drool. I didn't want to see that.

I also didn't want to see Adama telling Roslin "we need you to be president" as if he cares what she thinks or really actually wants her to be president. He just cares that he can manipulate her! And he's worried that he can't control Zarek with his sexy, toothpasty ways.

Baltar is proof that cult leaders lose their power when they cut their hair. Though I guess the boy band hair should appeal to his female demographic. If he was smart, he'd get the future version of Twilight author Stephenie Meyer to come in and invent a religion for him. Of course the Baltar cult room is where Tyrol confronts his baby daddy. Baltar is the locus of all sex drama on this show. Well, Baltar and Gaeta now.

Alright enough with this bitchy, gossipy crap. Now we're into the part of the plot I find fascinating: The fragmentation of the fleet along what amount to racial lines. Some humans are attacking cylons, and now Zarek is whipping the humans into a frenzy of anti-cylon violence. Why are future leftists so mean?

So Zarek inspired an assload of human rebels to abscond with the Fleet's entire fuel supply, and Adama says "Some days I hate this job." Isn't that a little too Bruce Willis for Adama? I dunno.

OMG Hotdog really is Tyrol's baby daddy! I love the whole daddy bonding thing between Hotdog and Tyrol. Cute.

The "use of deadly force is authorized" moment with Adama vs. Zarek is great - now we're laying bare what's at stake here. Plus how about Adama using the old "law and order" line on Zarek after revealing that he's been (illegally?) wiretapping Zarek in every possible way? Excellent. What exactly is in all Zarek's personal messages that's so damaging that he calls it "blackmail" when Adama threatens to reveal it? Does he have like IM logs where he hit on teenage boy interns or something?

Oh I see - those papers were laundry reports. Adama was bluffing. So crafty!

Now that Gaeta is meeting with Zarek I'm thinking that the new twist should be that Gaeta and Zarek are lovers. I'm glad that Gaeta is finally embracing his dark political side and joining up with Zarek. He's a political and sexual slut. That's a good combination when you think about it.

And I'm glad that Adama and Roslin finally hooked up, dammit! Do you think that was their first time? Kinda sucks that they had to do it on that single bed. You'd think they could at least have hunted down the presidential suite with a queen bed, right?

So how was the episode overall?

My BSG date says, "Kind of interesting."

As for me, I think that all the buildup to the mutiny with Zarek and Gaeta was great. I'm also intrigued to see what develops with Tigh and Six. I could have used a little less Callie-associated sex drama though. But then again, I always say that.

Liveblog will begin at 10:00 PM PST! I will be watching with a gang of dangerous attorneys, journalists, and an extremely large dog. Some of their comments may appear below. By reading onward, you agree to release me from all liability for what you find here.

OMG I can't believe you guys in comments already gave away the final cylon. And I haven't even started watching yet!

New York of the future looks like crap. The beach wasteland is obviously New York.

Is Roslin's obsession with that little green plant a reference to WALL-E? Probably not. I love it when they do that "planet light" thing where the film looks all washed out.

OK so Earth is a totally radioactive wasteland. Great line from Roslin: "We traded one nuked civilization for another." And she's not really dealing well with the whole PR aspect of her job. She just runs away from the Fleet instead of telling them it sucks down on Earth. C'mon Roslin, buck up! We don't want to hear old Lee yelling about how we'll learn everything later. He's really a terrible politician.

I think all this stuff with Starbuck searching for her viper is really the best part of the episode. It's really dark, intense, and truly creepy. I am glued to this subplot.

Not so much with the Dee subplot. Am I the only one who just really isn't into the Lee/Dee relationship? I mean he treated her like crap and now she's all into him still?

Ohhh creepy bone pile! Plus Centurion-esque heads. Love it! I also love that the 13th colony is ALL Cylon. Great twist, really good reveal. Their one great hope for the future of humanity was a Cylon world. Also, that means we are all Cylons. Does that mean my spine has been glowing during sex all this time and I just didn't know it? You'd think somebody would have mentioned it by now . . . but whatever.

One of my very favorite things about this episode is how four of the final five are starting to remember who they were on Earth. Tyrol's flashback was great. Deepens the mystery, gives the Cylons a human backstory.

TOO MUCH DEE AND LEE. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

Thank the gods we're back with Starbuck. Shit I love this scene with Starbuck finding her own dead body. Perfect tone, perfect level of sadness and horror. BSG is back. This is an awesome plot development. Though the lawyers in the room with me have pointed out that her hair is unburned. How could that be? Oh these lawyers with their whole rational search for evidence and crap.

Even Leoben is creeped out by Starbuck now. She is just so badass. What are you Starbuck? What are you? YOU ARE FRAKKIN BADASS.

Anders was Bob Dylan? That is seriously unacceptable. Worst flashback ever.

Still, let's leave that aside for a minute because the Cylon memories are a seriously cool subplot. Way cooler than Roslin feeling all weepy about her religion and burning books and stuff. So she's going to act like a freaky teenager now, being all tardy for her announcement that Earth sucks? "All those people - they're dead." She sounds like Courtney Love or something. Seriously, grow some baddass, Roslin.

This scene where Starbuck burns her own dead body makes me LOVE THIS SHOW. It's like a weirdo futuristic Viking double-self burial. You know what I mean.

At the moment when Dee is asking Lee drunkenly to tell her over and over what his lame speech was to the Quorum, I said to myself: "This is so awful I wish they would die." I didn't think they'd actually grant my wish! Now I feel sort of bad. I am a mean person. OK, I will make up for it by saying something nice. Dee's dress was really awesome. But that's all I can come up with. I'm sorry.

Damn, Adama is a mean drunk.

It's the drunken Tigh/Adama smackdown. Every few episodes we've gotta have one. It's like a bromantic moment. I can't believe that Tigh is out-acting Adama in this scene, but he is. I mean they're both awesome but Tigh is really pulling it out. Though I can't believe they're going to the "I smelled Ellen" place. Gross.

Yay for all the ads for FRAK PACK buckets of crispy meat. What's next? A KFC Fuck Bucket? The lawyers want to know.

This whole story that Adama tells about the swimming fox in the ocean still makes no sense to me, even after hearing it twice. Is it about suicidal foxes? Or foxes who wanted to survive so they're still swimming? "Maybe they were just tired," Adama says. So is Adama the tired old sea-swimming fox?

So Lee's news about Dee stopped Starbuck from spilling her guts about Dead Starbuck? I guess so.

Love the "Frak Earth" graffiti. Real nice.

But now Adama is back in the saddle, and he's got a new mission for the Fleet. He's giving the speech that Roslin should have given, which means that the true control of the Fleet is falling more and more into the hands of the military. Because remember that the more power Lee has, the more the military is in charge as well - he's still very much a military man at heart. One of the best parts of Adama's speech is that he is taking heart from the previous brave actions of a Cylon tribe facing their uncertain future. The humans and the Cylons really are merging.

Oh Roslin, stop curling up with weeds. Why do the women shoot themselves and curl up with weeds or try to die on Earth mumbling about it all "happening again and again." Is the future of the fleet all manly military stuff?

OK so I have to admit that Ellen being the final cylon was pretty disappointing, but I liked the way it was revealed. And I'm also intrigued by the idea that Ellen and Tigh were star-crossed lovers from way back. So it also sounds like she and Tigh were behind the "being reborn" thing.

I still think it was a pretty good show. But let's poll the room here:

"We are emotional hostages to this show."

"Like battered spouses."

"Does anyone think this show is going stale?"

"Compared to the hype yes. But I forgive all for season 2.5."

"This show doesn't keep things as fresh as The Sopranos."

"Creepy and sad. It made me think of the Fourth Amendment."

"All the women folded."

"Starbuck didn't!"

"Let's eat some cake!"

"Cake!"

"Cake!"

I will update this page during each commercial break. Buckle up.

I guess it's creepy when teenagers draw things on the sidewalk. More creepy? Hearing Hood announce every single episode that he's a "science consultant to the FBI." This time he says it while hitting on some random chick. Luckily Rachel, his comely kickass keeper, arrives to distract him with tales of autistic teens who now "exhibit symptoms of savant syndrome." Deadly savant syndrome! Sounds sciencey.

Time to go eat some Halloween candy.

Hood is giving us a lecture on "autism spectrum disorders." He's using Rachel's suitcase to explain it. He says normal people are tidy clothes in a suitcase, as he fingers Rachel's bra. Autistics have messy suitcase brains!

Let's meet our suitcase brained girl. All she wants to do is draw. So Hood tries to communicate with her through drawing a stick figure of himself and saying, "I like science. Rachel likes to beat people up." Then he somehow manages to figure out that suitcase head is drawing a zillion wavy lines because she's drawing pictures of her own "brainwaves" created via MRIs. And all this time I thought she was drawing a bunch of wavy hair because she was fantasizing about becoming a hippie.

Somebody is kidnapping teens with matching hippie hair brain waves! And now one of the other teens has a nosebleed while playing really bad minimalist music! So fluffy brain hair equals death? I'm so confused.

So apparently all these kids are getting brain surgery from an evil underground neuroscience ring. I love the idea that Eleventh Hour takes place in a universe where bad guys have like brain surgery facilities. We've been getting little glimpses of the evil underground neuroscience ring headquarters, and there's some mommish lady taking care of the little brain surgery victims.

Apparently somebody is sticking wires in the kids' heads. Totally cool! I mean, no - bad!

Worse than underground brain surgery done via the gums is listening to some guilt-ridden dad whine about his kid's high-functioning autism. Seriously, I have some new candidates I'd like to hand off to the neuroscience ring.

Oh bloody hell now we are learning that sticking wires in people's brains helps them drive through traffic better. Also it allows them to talk to dogs. And to science advisors to the FBI. Wow.

Suitcase head is now drawing colored boxes in a bathroom, and it turns out she has synaesthesia on top of every other lameass fake bullshit thing. The colors correspond to numbers, which luckily turn out to be the license plate of a super bitchy woman at the "autism institute." Who totally deserves to be busted by science consultants!

Also, somehow the CIA is involved with these experiments. Wires in the brain always lead back to the CIA. Apparently, according to Rachel's magical iPhone, the CIA might have been interested in turning autistics into hypersmart data conduits — sort of Johnny Mnemonics. This would have been a cool plot if it took place in a show that didn't require us to listen to Hood pontificate about suitcases and synaesthesia.

Boom! Esplosion! No wayz. So action-packed! I'm feeling the Bayhem even though it's really Bruckheimage I guess.

Follow that trail of action figures to find the savant! Also, you can do the same thing to find me, too. Except my action figures are way cooler than the suitcase head's.

Our bad guy neuroscientists are fleeing with two suitcase heads in the backseat. Are they doing this for money? Because they want to cure their own suitcase head? Because they get off on shocking vagus nerves?

Ohhhh we're getting to see the underground brain surgery in action!

Put down the brain drill and step away from the table! Haha. Turns out it's yet another dad who wants to save his kid via mad science. Hood gives him a big fake lecture about how "atypicals" (ie, the people whom he described as messy suitcases) don't need to be fixed. He's all: "One of those atypicals helped us find you." Um, only AFTER our evil mad doctor had fixed her brain! Before her brain was fixed she would have been useless.

Rachel has taken her hair down and is calling Hood sensitive. They've taken the wires out of the suitcase head's brain and now she can't speak or look at anybody anymore. Oh that's really great. So it's better to leave her mute and helpless than to let her continue with the experiment of the naughty neurosurgeon.

And how did the CIA fit into all of this? Not really at all. They were just kind of thrown in there for fanciness. You know, synaesthesia, CIA, autism . . . fancy! Sciencey!

Tune in next week when Hood gives Rachel a shower and people say fancy things about smallpox.

First observation of the evening: people with wine and a Tivo are hard to organize.

OH: Omigod it's starting — hold my hand!

I've never gotten the whole Starbuck as artist subplot. She draws giant circles everywhere?

OH (from a lawyer): Goddamn lawyers!

OK they are officially saying that they are cylons, OK? Tyrol and crew know they are cylons.

Damn I like a show that starts out right away with a nice battle. And there's Starbuck! Spouting bullshit about Earth!

Great to see that spiny Base Station again. And the president looks all commanding on the bridge.

Tigh shoots Adama? Everybody in the room stands up and screams NOOOOOOOO! Dudes, I call dream sequence.

This is what I like: seeing Anders having doubts about whether he's a sleeper agent. This season is going to be interesting.

OK, are those new cannons on the Battlestar? I don't know if I've seen them before. Nice explosion.

"600 souls on that ship," says the president. So we've already lost 600 people 10 minutes into the show.

Anders freaking out is a great new twist. I love this bit with the Raider giving him the eye. Did it scan him? Activate him?

OH: NICE! Yeah! They just wanted to do that to him!

Everybody cheers as the moaning credits come up.

Entering the realm of Baltar worshipers. Baltar IS a sex god. It's the nubile hottie religion. Looks good — shiny lights, ladies in Stevie Nicks outfits, beads — just like Burning Man! "Well I could stay for a bit!"

Starbuck homecoming ain't so fresh. Only Lee wants to hug her. She found Earth, but unfortunately she's also been gone in nowhere zone for 7 months. Wow, so confusing. Thank god we're back in the sex god zone now.

"I'm praying for your sick son," says Baltar. I like how he works the messiah thing in such a craven way. But Six is looking a little too corporate in that red suit. How 'bout a little imaginary cylon nookie? Luckily he can use his hot monotheism to get some love from one of his nubile disciples.

Monotheistic sex is the best!

Why would anybody think Starbuck WASN'T a cylon??? Seriously dudes what the hell. She's been gone for 7 months, came back in a ship that is a perfect duplicate of her old Viper, doesn't remember anything, and is babbling about gas giants with rings. What would the explanation be if it's not a cylonic resurrection?

Tigh says: Baltar's cylon detector was a crock! He should know.

During the commercial break, we hit on some possible explanations for Starbuck. If she's not a cylon:
1. She was grabbed and sent back by V'ger
2. She's a clone
3. She was the first hybrid

"Gaius can you hold me?" Now it's time for all the hot folk rock looking ladies to be sad about the dying kid. I wish somebody would play a Cat Stevens song right now.

When you say, "I guess the one true god doesn't want him to live," it's like the ultimate passive aggressive monotheist moment.

ANYBODY STILL HEARING THAT FRAKKING SONG? Thank the one true god, no.

Anders connects the dot: "Maybe I was programmed to leave my gun safeties on."

Tigh has a good point about the difference between knowing you are a sleeper agent and not knowing. That's the one difference between the final four and the original Boomer. Damn, this is totally my favorite subplot.

Now the president is visiting Caprica Six. Six is wearing quite a nice little teeny spaghetti strap dress. Perfect jail outfit. Why doesn't she just make out with the president instead of talking mystically about her programming. "I try not to think about your creamy neck, President Roslin." Get rid of that hetero programming, Six, and make your move!

Gaeta Gaeta Gaeta!!!!!! He is the hottest.

OK back to the plot. Duh nobody believes you Starbuck. You are either a frakkin cylon, or something made by V'ger.

So now Starbuck also has a mystic mumbo jumbo relationship with the course to Earth? Why is she even on the bridge? SHE'S A DAMN CYLON.

Fucking awesome new Iron Man commercial. Oh wait, is that an ad for the Marines? What am I watching? Ad for movie or ad for something else using the movie? So confused. So it's an ad for Sci Fi Channel?

"Should I believe my heart or my eyes?" asks Adama. I will not make the joke about believing your ass. Because it's not even funny.

Hey, so the President is staying in Adama's quarters? Whoo, Adama.

I feel like every episode has one Adama or the other handing a gold chevron to somebody and saying, "We need you in the fleet."

"I've had some feelers from the government — there's a position opening up," says Lee. Well, at least Dad knows something about feelers from the government . . . heh heh.

A lot of this episode is all, "What if your friends were Cylons? Would that change how you feel?" It's like a Cylon tolerance training film. "Don't hate on the Cylon . . . they could be your kids!" I want to form PFOC, parents and friends of cylons. We can carry a special banner and march in the Cylon Pride March!

WTF is Baltar on about "Take me make me suffer"? He's having a conscience attack? Wait, is he putting on a show or does he really believe what he's saying. All I know for sure is that he is Mr. Extra Super Creepy.

As Baltar shaves, someone cries, "Well THANK GOD." Seriously getting rid of that beard was a good move. Too bad Baltar is about to be totally creamed by this dude with the dead kid. Luckily he has the power of nubile folk rock girl on his side!!!

I really would be OK if I never saw another scene of Baltar's face being wet from tears, sweat, shaving water, or blood.

Wow, folk rock girl is a total ninja. Piped!!!

That was quite the smiting.

OK fuck little Derrick and his being spared. Let's get back to the whole Burning Man naked girl cult sex.

Love this scene with Anders being all sensitive and Starbuck being a dick. "Is it possible they grew another me?" asks Starbuck. Another cool question. Anders says, "It doesn't change who you are."

Lawyers in the room observe: "Actually it does change who you are."

I love Starbuck telling Anders, "If you were a cylon I put a bullet through your head." Doesn't she remember the whole Leoben thing? She can shoot Anders but he'll keep coming back.

Everybody here thinks Starbuck can't be a cylon.

WHAT IS REVEALED??? Asks everyone in the room. WHAT THE HELL????

OK, here are our theories:
1. Final cylon will be Adama's wife. She'll come back and we'll discover that Lee is the first hybrid.
2. Starbuck is a hybrid. Her dad was on the front in the cylon war. This makes her whole thing with Lee kind of incestuous and ookie.
3. Adama is a cylon
4. It's too obvious to make Starbuck a cylon
5. They might bring a new character in to be the fifth cylon, and that would totally suck

I just want to point out that the plot next episode about the Raiders being lobotomized is super interesting.

Now our conversation has degenerated into speculating which person among us is a cylon.

That is all. Good night, and sweet monotheistic dreams about sentient lobotomized spaceships!