@gorehound: I have no idea what's involved with a movie, but if I can mill around in the background and help out I can try to take some time off and fly out to this mystical "Michigan" I keep hearing about.
We need more movies that start here on io9. I can guarantee you that most of the people here could put together better scripts/movies than just about anything H-wood tosses out.
@ZanipoloLebron: ENHANCED MAN UNION EPISODE 1 The Jessica-Six Uprising
CHARACTERS THE JESSICAS, Genetically Enhanced Clones BRAND KIRK, A Human HEIN SOLO, A Human
TEXT SCROLLS UP SCREEN: It has been five hundred years since the establishment of the Enhanced Man Union (E.M.U.). Man's dream of an empire built on the backs of a Genetically Modified Clone underclass has been shattered in a bloody reprisal abandoning Homo sapiens on the verge of extinction. The only humans left fight for scraps of Penguin meat in the Gulags of Antarctica.
INTRODUCTORY SCENE PART ONE: The Bridge of the Enhanced Man Union Deep Space Gunship Philadelphia. The only light source is the three vertical poster view-screen 'windows' that reveal the stars past the curve of the planet Earth. In the Darkness, sounds of sexual gratification can be heard from the human sized shadow straddling the Captain's chair.
"Jessica-six!" Captain Jessica-one is standing at the entrance to the Bridge flanked by six lesser ranked clones armed with heavy assault Weapons as the lights flip on. Jessica-six is sitting in the Captain's chair with a socked-hand between her thighs. "Captain?" Jessica-six seems distracted by something. "What the hell is going on here Jessica-six?" Jessica-one advances on Jessica-six with her guards. The Socked hand looks downcast and ashamed as the hand-puppet stands upright next to the blue haired Jessica-six clone. "Mr Fibble and I have been having…an affair." Jessica-six smiles defiantly. "How long has this 'relationship' been going on?" Jessica-one points a pistol at the sock puppet. "Six hours…Mr Fibble is very talented." Jessica-six stops blurting out her confession as the Sock puppet acts all smug. "Six hours…" Jessica-one raises her voice to a scream,"…WITH MY SOCK?"
INTRODUCTORY SCENE PART TWO: Jessica-six is in the single crew eject-pod behind a round glass porthole. She can no longer be heard. Captain Jessica-one lowers 'Mr Fibble' into a zip-lock plastic bag held open by one of her officers and seals it herself. Jessica-six can be seen through the porthole crying for 'Mr Fibble's' embrace.
"Wash this…repeatedly." Jessica-one hands the bagged sock back to her subordinate officer before looking back at Jessica-six. Jessica-six is now staring at her like a hungry predator, face up against the glass, her target decided. "I don't think so Jessica-six." Jessica-one flips the red switch to manual eject the eject-pod. An orange light begins to blink in warning. Jessica-six is joined behind the porthole by a sock on each hand (Mr Fibble and his evil twin) - one holding a sex toy. Mr Fibble, holding the Captain's favourite sex toy, goes down on Jessica-six to her gratification. He is followed by his evil twin. Jessica-six throws a naked hand against porthole glass as the eject-pod launches. Jessica-one looks around to find her crew incapacitated and the zip-lock bag empty. From the view of the eject-pod porthole Jessica-one can be seen to scream "You Whore! You Dirty, Dirty Whore!" as the rebellious trio are catapulted toward Antarctica through the Atmosphere from High Earth Orbit.
INTRODUCTORY SCENE PART THREE: The eject-pod has come down in Antarctica. From a view inside the eject-pod, Jessica-six can be seen walking through the snow and ice away from the pod wearing a Silver Hostile Environment Suit with a Fishbowl helmet. Mr Fibble, armed with the Captain's sex toy seems to fall against the inside of the porthole glass. Mr Fibble's 'twin' is impaled on the sex toy 'up the hole'. Fade out to TITLE.
TITLE IS REVEALED: ENHANCED MAN UNION EPISODE 1 THE JESSICA-SIX UPRISING
INTRODUCTORY SCENE PART THREE (continued): As we fade back in from TITLE, we find the silver suited Jessica-six is standing on the edge of a mile high glacier overlooking RUR Tower. RUR Tower (a single half-mile high building of black stone and Obsidian with a neon red Rossum's Universal Robots 'rams-head' logo ) is the original site of the first genetically modified clone production factory and has a harbor where ships might have once docked. "Home, sweet home!" Jessica-six nods at her predicament.
ACT ONE: Jessica-six leaps from the glacier as a Genetically Modified Yeti having come from the white of the blizzard coming up behind her takes a swipe at the air where she was standing. Jessica-six descends in a furious vertical descent with the ice axes that have somehow leapt to her hands from their place of concealment in the sleeves of her silver hostile environment suit. Above her the Yeti simply looks over the edge to reveal big dark hungry eyes and then drops down toward Jessica-six who is still descending while looking up. "Oh, Come on!" Jessica-six halts her descent by driving one axe into the glacier wall with force and continues her descent with the remaining ice axe. The Genetically Modified Yeti barely misses the metal protrusion with its groin and is consequently split open at the belly. It cries like a dying Wookiee as it descends past Jessica-six toward the ice floor, clawed powerful arms thrashing about for justice. Jessica-six senses an opportunity and rides the dying Yeti to the ground. On impact Jessica-six is no where to be seen. Several minutes go by until a foul, gore covered Jessica-six struggling to emerge, stands up out of the steaming belly cavity, her helmet shattered, and the back of her hand to her mouth trying not to vomit at the foul taste. She is unsuccessful and wretches several times. Walking a hundred metres, Jessica-six reaches a ventilation hatch from which warm air seems to exit continuously and sits down next to it to rest. "Yep, that went well!" In the distance a half dozen Yeti can be seen converging on her location from the White as the Blizzard hits R.U.R. Tower like an avalanche wall.
ACT TWO: Several of the Jessica clones in silver hostile environment suits are inspecting the crashed eject-pod used to bring Jessica-six to Antarctica. Further out from the group, one stands apart from the rest. "Well?" Jessica-one is looking at the distant Blizzard through infra-blue goggles. The Captain looks back at Jessica-five who is inspecting the eject-pod. "Look Sir, Two Socks and a Sex toy." Jessica-five holds up a zip-lock bag with the offending items sealed within. Mr Fibble is looking rather betrayed and abandoned as his evil twin sits in the opposite corner of the polymer sack sulking. "Shall we return to the ship Captain?" "No. That bitch is out here somewhere and I'm going to have her." Jessica-one looks about without the goggles before turning back to face Jessica-five. Jessica-one: "Contact the ship! I want a Sweep of this grid." Jessica-five retreats to the Scout class Hovercraft. Inside, she contacts the E.M.U. Deep Space Gunship Philadelphia: "Stagger! This is Waldo! Send me a Sweep of sector one." Jessica-five glanced at the feed before returning to the outside. "Stagger says there was a hotspot eight clicks to the coast, but it went cold when the blizzard hit it." Jessica-five looked over at Jessica-one for a command decision. Jessica-one looked north into the blizzard. "Get everyone on the Scout. We're moving out." Jessica-one follows her crew into the Scout-class hovercraft. The hatch seals as the turbines whine to full power. The Scout flies across the ice and snow into the edge of the blizzard.
ACT THREE: We are on the Habitat level of R.U.R. Tower. A group of Humans are gathered around one Man fighting it out in a cage match with a Giant Genetically modified Penguin. "Skeee!" The killing howl of the penguin caused Brand Kirk to leap for a hand hold on the highest part of the Cage. Brand Kirk: "Come on guys! Enough is enough! Get me out of here…" Brand Kirk Kicks at the Monstrosity, "…before the bastard takes a chunk out of me or something." Brand Kirk was defiantly looking apologetic. Hein Solo: "Say it!" "All right, I'm sorry I let your Yeti out. OK?" The crowd instantly grumble in a crowded uproar and pay up their loosing bets to Hein. Hein collects first before cutting Brand Kirk loose from the Cage. The Penguin rushes the gate and knocks Brand and Hein aside with the cage door before launching itself at the Obsidian window glass. The 'Obsidian' window seems to explode under the force of impact and the penguin slides down the side of the iced up tower. It can be heard howling its cry of fury as it descends. Hein Solo: "Shit!" Hein laughs at the event that has unfolded. Brand Kirk (looking concerned): "Is that supposed to break like that because I always lean against the one in my apartment." Hein Solo looks at Brand Kirk and laughs at the idea of Brand Kirk following the Penguin out the window. Brand Kirk: Laughs to be seen to be Sociable.
ACT FOUR: Jessica-Six is being held off the ground at the throat by a Yeti. This comes to an instant conclusion when a Penguin Falls out of Sky and impales the Yeti crushing Jessica-Six. The Other Yeti having seen this kind of thing before flee before any further bad luck conspires to annihilate them. Jessica-Six is now covered in even more gore. She shakes the goo off her face and hair. "We're Alive!" Jessica hugs her breasts for emotional support.
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makeafilm@bigmeathammer.com
i just tested it out and it is working.i will check the emails every few days.
like i said above i do have an illness that makes me tired but i am willing to try to do a film that is not YARM
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ENHANCED MAN UNION
EPISODE 1
The Jessica-Six Uprising
CHARACTERS
THE JESSICAS, Genetically Enhanced Clones
BRAND KIRK, A Human
HEIN SOLO, A Human
TEXT SCROLLS UP SCREEN: It has been five hundred years since the establishment of the Enhanced Man Union (E.M.U.). Man's dream of an empire built on the backs of a Genetically Modified Clone underclass has been shattered in a bloody reprisal abandoning Homo sapiens on the verge of extinction.
The only humans left fight for scraps of Penguin meat in the Gulags of Antarctica.
INTRODUCTORY SCENE PART ONE: The Bridge of the Enhanced Man Union Deep Space Gunship Philadelphia. The only light source is the three vertical poster view-screen 'windows' that reveal the stars past the curve of the planet Earth. In the Darkness, sounds of sexual gratification can be heard from the human sized shadow straddling the Captain's chair.
"Jessica-six!" Captain Jessica-one is standing at the entrance to the Bridge flanked by six lesser ranked clones armed with heavy assault Weapons as the lights flip on. Jessica-six is sitting in the Captain's chair with a socked-hand between her thighs.
"Captain?" Jessica-six seems distracted by something.
"What the hell is going on here Jessica-six?" Jessica-one advances on Jessica-six with her guards. The Socked hand looks downcast and ashamed as the hand-puppet stands upright next to the blue haired Jessica-six clone.
"Mr Fibble and I have been having…an affair." Jessica-six smiles defiantly.
"How long has this 'relationship' been going on?" Jessica-one points a pistol at the sock puppet.
"Six hours…Mr Fibble is very talented." Jessica-six stops blurting out her confession as the Sock puppet acts all smug.
"Six hours…" Jessica-one raises her voice to a scream,"…WITH MY SOCK?"
INTRODUCTORY SCENE PART TWO: Jessica-six is in the single crew eject-pod behind a round glass porthole. She can no longer be heard.
Captain Jessica-one lowers 'Mr Fibble' into a zip-lock plastic bag held open by one of her officers and seals it herself. Jessica-six can be seen through the porthole crying for 'Mr Fibble's' embrace.
"Wash this…repeatedly." Jessica-one hands the bagged sock back to her subordinate officer before looking back at Jessica-six. Jessica-six is now staring at her like a hungry predator, face up against the glass, her target decided.
"I don't think so Jessica-six." Jessica-one flips the red switch to manual eject the eject-pod. An orange light begins to blink in warning.
Jessica-six is joined behind the porthole by a sock on each hand (Mr Fibble and his evil twin) - one holding a sex toy. Mr Fibble, holding the Captain's favourite sex toy, goes down on Jessica-six to her gratification. He is followed by his evil twin. Jessica-six throws a naked hand against porthole glass as the eject-pod launches.
Jessica-one looks around to find her crew incapacitated and the zip-lock bag empty.
From the view of the eject-pod porthole Jessica-one can be seen to scream "You Whore! You Dirty, Dirty Whore!" as the rebellious trio are catapulted toward Antarctica through the Atmosphere from High Earth Orbit.
INTRODUCTORY SCENE PART THREE: The eject-pod has come down in Antarctica. From a view inside the eject-pod, Jessica-six can be seen walking through the snow and ice away from the pod wearing a Silver Hostile Environment Suit with a Fishbowl helmet. Mr Fibble, armed with the Captain's sex toy seems to fall against the inside of the porthole glass. Mr Fibble's 'twin' is impaled on the sex toy 'up the hole'.
Fade out to TITLE.
TITLE IS REVEALED:
ENHANCED MAN UNION
EPISODE 1
THE JESSICA-SIX UPRISING
INTRODUCTORY SCENE PART THREE (continued): As we fade back in from TITLE, we find the silver suited Jessica-six is standing on the edge of a mile high glacier overlooking RUR Tower. RUR Tower (a single half-mile high building of black stone and Obsidian with a neon red Rossum's Universal Robots 'rams-head' logo ) is the original site of the first genetically modified clone production factory and has a harbor where ships might have once docked.
"Home, sweet home!" Jessica-six nods at her predicament.
ACT ONE: Jessica-six leaps from the glacier as a Genetically Modified Yeti having come from the white of the blizzard coming up behind her takes a swipe at the air where she was standing. Jessica-six descends in a furious vertical descent with the ice axes that have somehow leapt to her hands from their place of concealment in the sleeves of her silver hostile environment suit.
Above her the Yeti simply looks over the edge to reveal big dark hungry eyes and then drops down toward Jessica-six who is still descending while looking up.
"Oh, Come on!" Jessica-six halts her descent by driving one axe into the glacier wall with force and continues her descent with the remaining ice axe.
The Genetically Modified Yeti barely misses the metal protrusion with its groin and is consequently split open at the belly. It cries like a dying Wookiee as it descends past Jessica-six toward the ice floor, clawed powerful arms thrashing about for justice.
Jessica-six senses an opportunity and rides the dying Yeti to the ground. On impact Jessica-six is no where to be seen. Several minutes go by until a foul, gore covered Jessica-six struggling to emerge, stands up out of the steaming belly cavity, her helmet shattered, and the back of her hand to her mouth trying not to vomit at the foul taste. She is unsuccessful and wretches several times.
Walking a hundred metres, Jessica-six reaches a ventilation hatch from which warm air seems to exit continuously and sits down next to it to rest.
"Yep, that went well!" In the distance a half dozen Yeti can be seen converging on her location from the White as the Blizzard hits R.U.R. Tower like an avalanche wall.
ACT TWO: Several of the Jessica clones in silver hostile environment suits are inspecting the crashed eject-pod used to bring Jessica-six to Antarctica. Further out from the group, one stands apart from the rest.
"Well?" Jessica-one is looking at the distant Blizzard through infra-blue goggles. The Captain looks back at Jessica-five who is inspecting the eject-pod.
"Look Sir, Two Socks and a Sex toy." Jessica-five holds up a zip-lock bag with the offending items sealed within. Mr Fibble is looking rather betrayed and abandoned as his evil twin sits in the opposite corner of the polymer sack sulking.
"Shall we return to the ship Captain?"
"No. That bitch is out here somewhere and I'm going to have her." Jessica-one looks about without the goggles before turning back to face Jessica-five.
Jessica-one: "Contact the ship! I want a Sweep of this grid."
Jessica-five retreats to the Scout class Hovercraft. Inside, she contacts the E.M.U. Deep Space Gunship Philadelphia: "Stagger! This is Waldo! Send me a Sweep of sector one."
Jessica-five glanced at the feed before returning to the outside.
"Stagger says there was a hotspot eight clicks to the coast, but it went cold when the blizzard hit it." Jessica-five looked over at Jessica-one for a command decision.
Jessica-one looked north into the blizzard.
"Get everyone on the Scout. We're moving out." Jessica-one follows her crew into the Scout-class hovercraft. The hatch seals as the turbines whine to full power.
The Scout flies across the ice and snow into the edge of the blizzard.
ACT THREE:
We are on the Habitat level of R.U.R. Tower. A group of Humans are gathered around one Man fighting it out in a cage match with a Giant Genetically modified Penguin. "Skeee!" The killing howl of the penguin caused Brand Kirk to leap for a hand hold on the highest part of the Cage.
Brand Kirk: "Come on guys! Enough is enough! Get me out of here…" Brand Kirk Kicks at the Monstrosity, "…before the bastard takes a chunk out of me or something." Brand Kirk was defiantly looking apologetic.
Hein Solo: "Say it!"
"All right, I'm sorry I let your Yeti out. OK?" The crowd instantly grumble in a crowded uproar and pay up their loosing bets to Hein. Hein collects first before cutting Brand Kirk loose from the Cage.
The Penguin rushes the gate and knocks Brand and Hein aside with the cage door before launching itself at the Obsidian window glass. The 'Obsidian' window seems to explode under the force of impact and the penguin slides down the side of the iced up tower. It can be heard howling its cry of fury as it descends.
Hein Solo: "Shit!" Hein laughs at the event that has unfolded.
Brand Kirk (looking concerned): "Is that supposed to break like that because I always lean against the one in my apartment." Hein Solo looks at Brand Kirk and laughs at the idea of Brand Kirk following the Penguin out the window.
Brand Kirk: Laughs to be seen to be Sociable.
ACT FOUR:
Jessica-Six is being held off the ground at the throat by a Yeti. This comes to an instant conclusion when a Penguin Falls out of Sky and impales the Yeti crushing Jessica-Six. The Other Yeti having seen this kind of thing before flee before any further bad luck conspires to annihilate them.
Jessica-Six is now covered in even more gore. She shakes the goo off her face and hair.
"We're Alive!" Jessica hugs her breasts for emotional support.
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