Since the mid-2000s, Mishka NYC has been at the vanguard of popular streetwear. A cornerstone of their success has been designing clothing influenced by gonzo horror, Z-grade sci-fi, and the overall dank and stanky underbelly of pop culture. Indeed, their gear is worn with equal aplomb by metalheads and hip-hoppers (Lil Jon and Lady Sovereign have sported Mishka in music videos), and the label's past collaborators have ranged from everyone from Iron Maiden album artist Derek Riggs to erotic photographer Ellen Stagg to electro-reggae supergroup Major Lazer.

Label heads Mikhail "Mike" Bortnik and Greg Rivera were nice enough to sit down with io9 and answer some questions about Mishka's design philosophy, winter line, and how Stan Lee cold lamps it at Comic-Con:

What's the Mishka origin story?

Mikhail Bortnik (left): It started sometime in '03. My job I was working at was going to close, so I decided to take a stab at t-shirt design, which I had wanted to do since college. This was about the same time I met Greg. A few months into it, I realized I was in over my head so I asked Greg to join on-board and sell the line. Greg immediately came on as a full-time partner. The basic idea was we wanted to sell street wear, but we soon realized there were so many fans who were into both street wear and scifi that there was absolutely no reason we couldn't incorporate these two things.

In terms of scifi, what were your earliest influences?

Greg Rivera (right): A lot of our influences have come from B-horror films, straight-up scifi films, and comic books, especially for Mike. I was big into horror comics when I was kid and also things like The Twilight Zone, Tales from the Darkside, anything with the ironic twist at the end. Both of us are also big toy fans. Being in our early thirties, we grew up with 1980s toys, which ended up being a huge influence in our designs.

MB: One example of this influence was in our Fall 2008 Skyway Trippers collection – we tweaked an Israeli Special Forces design to include the phrase "Spaceknights" in Russian, as a homage to the old Spaceknights comic and toy line.

ROM Spaceknight allusions? That's wild. On a similar note, Mishka has a roster of kaiju-like characters who appears on a lot of your apparel – i.e. the half-serpentine, half-ursine Death Adder and the Cyco Simon skull. What's the story behind them?

MB: Actually the notion of bringing characters into the clothing brand goes back to metal bands. Cyco Simon is a reference to [Megadeth's ] Vic Rattlehead and Eddie from Iron Maiden, and we wanted our own. As for the Death Adder, we use our designs to tell a story with him – he's often seen teaming up with our Soviet super-soldier character.

Are we going to see an Adult Swim series with these guys anytime soon?

MB: I'll be honest, Greg and I would love to be able to a comic book or cartoon series with them.

What was the first sci-fi influenced Mishka piece?

GR: "They Live" was probably one of the first ones. It's hard to remember since we've had so many designs over time.

One of my early favorites was your Judge Death-inspired "Kill Motherfucking Depeche Mode" logo.

MB: That was a mixing of the old Brian Bolland artwork with what people guessed [what the name of German industrial band] KMFDM stood for. KMFDM actually gave us a cease-and-desist for that one.

Really? Not the 2000 AD people?

MB: We figured we'd get something from them or Depeche Mode, but no, it was from the KMFDM people!

On a similar note, when was that moment when you said to yourselves, "Holy crap. We can't believe we just put that on a t-shirt."

MB: The "Tom of Eternia" t-shirt.

GR: Mike had the idea of doing a Tom of Finland-style shirt [featuring He-Man].

MB: If you've never hear of Tom of Finland, he's like the homoerotic artist. There was this impetus [to create this shirt] early on when someone made the comment that all we do is put naked girls and 80s cartoon characters on our shirts. Street wear on a whole seems more macho than we are as a brand, so Greg and I were like, let's do this.

GR: Our friend Robin Nishio – who is this amazing illustrator – met up with us and Mike pitched him the idea. Robin actually went and bought two big books on Tom of Finland and aped the style exactly. That was the coolest because we got so much shit from our customers because it was like, "Here's Skeletor as the master and He-Man down on his knees, gay porn style."

What sort of pieces are in the pipeline at the moment?

GR: We did this series of shirts for [the new heavy metal-themed video game] Brutal Legend and we're working with Dark Horse Comics on a project.

Oh wow, are you at the liberty to talk about that right now?

MB: Not really, but if anyone has followed our brand, you'll know that one particular Dark Horse character particularly sticks out.

As far as the Winter 2009 line goes, you seem to have strong robot theme going. You have the Terminator cyclops, the Decepticon hearse, and my favorite, the Ultron bear. Why robots this season?

MB: We've gone so far doing themes that this season just happened to be robots. This was probably one of our most rigid designs themes. The Ultron shirt's been particularly popular.

You guys hit up the San Diego Comic-Con this year. How was it being a street wear brand at what's been historically a comic and scifi show?

MB: We were selling some things there, but we were mostly there as fans.

GR: It's been a little calculated – and not to reveal all our secrets – but if a lot more other brands saw the potential of that market, you'd see a lot more people doing it. It's hard for us to do business, because Mike and I go and we're just geeking out. Besides going out there to meet Tim and Eric [from Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!], we're both really into Japanese kaiju and we had the chance to show off our own kaiju designs.

MB: Comic-Con 2008 was my first one. We wanted to see the Lost panel, but after we saw it spilling into the street, we just said "fuck it" and went to the Battlestar Galactica panel. That crowd was pretty big too, but Dean Koontz was still speaking. So yeah, we killed two hours listening to Dean Koontz.

Any good Mishka Comic-Con party tales?

GR: We crashed an Activision party at the Hard Rock Café and saw Stan Lee. If you're at a Comic-Con party and you see Stan Lee, you know you're at the coolest party.

MB: He was just hanging out with this girl on his arm.

GR: (laughs) She looked like she was twenty years old.

MB: I don't if she was, like, hitting on him or he was hitting on her, but Stan Lee's exactly how you picture him. He really says "true believer."

I wouldn't want him any other way. Do you find yourselves getting calls from influences who've enjoyed your work?

MB: Other than the artists who we're huge fans of and end up working with – like Derek Riggs and L'Amour Supreme – no, not really. A lot of our influences are grumpy old men.

What would you say is the most quintessential Mishka design?

GR: On our first trip to Japan, we stayed in this little town outside of Tokyo and found all these old Japanese horror and sci-fi press kits. These kits would take the coolest part of the movie and turn it into poster art. We found this great Westworld kit and Mike added some comic book stuff, like Ultron and Cyborg from Teen Titans to the design. To this day, it's still one of my favorite ones.

MB: We also found this Motel Hell kit in which we used for our "Electric Funeral" shirt. We electrified the faces and it turned out great.

Alright guys - some final lightning round questions. Kim Cattrall in Big Trouble in Little China or Kirstie Alley in Wrath of Khan?

MB: Kim Cattrall. I'm a Next Generation fan, what can I say.

Zardoz or Troll 2?

GR: Troll 2.

MB: Zardoz.

Would you rather have John Carpenter compose you a personal theme song or direct a movie about your life?

MB: I'd rather have him direct the movie because then he'd have to compose the film's theme song.

Shit! I hadn't thought of that loophole. Any final words to io9 readers?

GR: By all means check Mishka out - you'll definitely find something you like.

Mishka apparel is available at their website and their Brooklyn store at 350 Broadway in Williamsburg, NYC. Store photography courtesy of Dave Digioia.

The Guardian's Stuart Heritage thinks that what we already know about the second Iron Man movie sounds worryingly familiar:

This time Iron Man 2 will have to balance Robert Downey Jr with Sam Rockwell and Scarlett Johansson and Mickey Rourke and Don Cheadle and Samuel L Jackson and Gwyneth Paltrow, and a shedload of exploding robots. Plus, there's a good chance that Tony Stark's also going to be an alcoholic in this one. And that's where the worry starts to seep in.

A tangled love story? Too many villains? A hero struggling with his demons? Unless I'm mistaken, that sounds just like Spider-Man 3 – a superhero movie legendary in its bloated naffness.

We'll admit it; we're concerned about Iron Man 2 as well, but that's got more to do with Whiplash's costume than any story-related reason. After all, if Favreau and Downey Jr. could make the first movie as fun as it was despite not having a finished script, making two bad guys, two Iron Men and an alcoholic subplot work should be a piece of cake. But do we put too much faith in their talents? Let us know in the comments whether you're worried that IM2 may be too full for its own good.

Why I'm starting to worry about Iron Man 2 [Guardian.co.uk]

Marvel Comics' reaction to 9/11 was both heartfelt and far-reaching, understandable for a company not only based in New York but one so tied to the city in its demeanor and subject matter (Marvel's New York state is the setting for the majority of its line, being home for years to Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, Avengers, X-Men and Daredevil, amongst many others): Not only did they publish the prerequisite memorial special editions (Heroes and A Moment Of Silence), they also created a short-lived line of emergency services comics (The Call), relaunched Captain America as a hero hunting terrorists (with patriotic covers announcing things like "Fight Terror" and "Never Give Up"), placed a memorial logo of the World Trade Center Towers on all of their comics published for more than a year afterwards, and published a very special issue of Amazing Spider-Man where the company's most well-known character visited Ground Zero to help with rescue efforts, and found that it wasn't only the heroes who realized how terrible the terrorist attacks were:
Yes, Doctor Doom crying may have been a little too much - writer J. Michael Straczynski later denied asking for that in the script to avoid a backlash - but the meaning of all of this was clear: As a company, Marvel Comics had been severely affected by the devastating attacks, and had not only faced up to the reality of such widescale destruction previously fantasized about in their books, but also felt that reality for themselves. This was a sobered company.

Cut to last week's Siege: The Cabal, the prelude to next month's Siege event running across their entire line. Following September 11th, an increasingly political subtext has crept into Marvel's superhero lines, whether it's the "Personal Liberty or Safety" question at the heart of Civil War, terrorist sleeper cell paranoia of the run up to 2008's Secret Invasion or "The People Running Our Country May Not Have Our Best Interests At Heart" theme of this year's Dark Reign, and it's been something that's worked very well for the company: A decade ago, they were coming out of bankruptcy and their future looked uncertain, and now they're being bought by Disney for $400 billion. Siege: The Cabal acts as prologue to the big Final Act of the uber-storyline that's been running throughout their titles since 2004's Avengers: Disassembled, and ends with Norman Osborn - onetime Green Goblin and now head of what is essentially Marvel's Homeland Security department - talking with Norse God Loki about how he can make a pre-emptive strike against the mythical realm of Iraq. Wait, I mean, Asgard:
This explains the opening of next month's Siege, which was released in previews last week:

That's Chicago's Soldier Field getting destroyed, by the way. While there's a game going on, and the stands are full of people. Considering Soldier Field's seating capacity is 61,500, it's probably safe to say that we're talking about upwards of 50,000 fictional deaths in the stadium alone, even going with a "Well, it wasn't sold out" defense, and that's ignoring any damage and deaths in surrounding areas.

I think I'm allowed a W. T. F. around now.

There are so many things that come to mind from seeing this preview, and this amount of devastation for the purposes of getting a plot about good guys teaming up to reform the Avengers going, and to prepare for a new, optimistic status quo called "The Heroic Age". Primarily, it's the thoughtlessness and/or bad taste of the whole thing, especially coming from the publisher who seemed so affected by - or, perhaps, just displayed more of an emotional response to - September 11th (Which resulted in almost 3,000 deaths) and seemed to have come to some level of understanding of what an event of that scale actually means (Hint: It's not four issues of Cap and Iron Man and Thor getting back together to kick some bad guy ass, True Believer!). Don't get me wrong, I understand the difference between fictional death and real death, but that doesn't excuse the strange insensitivity here.

Secondly: Killing tens of thousands of people as an excuse to go to war? This is supervillainy on a ridiculous scale here, way beyond anything we've seen in a long time and not only completely removed from the intentional scale and bombast of old school supervillains, but (a) literally collateral damage given little thought on the road to Osborn's true plan, and (b) unlike other supervillain's genocidal plans, apparently completely successful (I hope that the next scene, not shown in previews, will reveal the Soldier Field destruction to be a fantasy sequence, but somehow I doubt it - And, if it were, it'd seem even more ghoulish to release these pages to get fans excited about reading Siege: "Look, kids! WIDESCALE DEATH TWENTY TIMES LARGER THAN 9/11! THIS IS THE BIG ONE YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! EXCELSIOR!"). I'm all for demonizing bad guys, but this is just insane; even going on the "Well, he's mentally unbalanced" explanation Siege writer Brian Michael Bendis has been giving in interviews about the character and project, it makes mastermind Norman Osborn into a character that is impossible to sympathize with, and reduces him to almost cartoon proportions and ideas about evil. All he needs now is a moustache to twirl when explaining his plan to the heroes.

(Second-and-a-half-ly: Killing tens of thousands of people as an excuse to go to war? Is this some kind of veiled "The American Right Wing Were Behind 9/11 As A Way Of Motivating People To Back An Invasion Of Afghanistan and Iraq" thing? After all, Bendis has said about the plot, "much like we've seen in our own modern history, it's not beyond world leaders to fabricate incidents if it serves a purpose." Hmm.)

Thirdly: We've seen this before, in more than one sense. Not only is this a deliberate and literal call-out to the accidental explosion that launched Marvel's Civil War, but the idea of using the destruction of a sports stadium to launch a war is from Tom Clancy's 1991 novel The Sum Of All Fears (adapted into a movie in 1999, but not released until 2002). Of course, in that case, it's a neo-Nazi trying to convince the US and Russia to go to war by placing blame on the event on the Russians, but still, the tone-deaf quality of the plot device becomes even stranger when you realize that it's not even original.

So what to make of Siege's Destruction McGuffin? A sign that, even if the rest of the world hasn't gotten over 9/11, Marvel has managed to move on and enjoy fictional slaughter as a motivator for superheroes to team-up again? Proof that cynical shock tactics outweigh genuine emotional responses when it comes to upping the ante in the name of sales? A thoughtless plot that leaves a nasty taste in the mouth? Maybe I'm just too sensitive to these kinds of things; it's been eight years, after all. Perhaps I should shut up and hope that they blow up an entire continent next so that Doctor Doom can reveal that he really did only have something in his eye down at Ground Zero. After all, destroying Antarctica would be really bad-ass, wouldn't it?

Here's a complete list of all the methods we found for jogging your memory from science fiction tales, from the least fantastical to the most. (The end of the list, sadly, includes some items that you're unlikely to be able to find at your local office supply store.)

Use an acronym.

Suppose you've got a beautiful blue time machine that goes by the ungainly name of Time And Relative Dimensions In Space — you can always shorten it down to TARDIS, which is much easier to remember. That's what the Doctor (and his granddaughter Susan) did in Doctor Who.

The same goes for Marvel Comics' super-secret spy organization, the Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division (S.H.I.E.L.D.) The only problem with acronyms is, people will change what they stand for when you're not looking — S.H.I.E.L.D. now stands for Strategic Hazard Intervention, Espionage Logistics Directorate in the comics, or Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division in the movies.

There's also the General Unilateral Neuro-link Dispersive Autonomic Maneuver (GUNDAM), and lots of other examples, here.

Write yourself a post-it note.

This may be the most foolproof method out there. In Star Trek: Voyager, Chakotay falls in love with a member of a species that erases itself from your memory after a while — and also somehow deletes all computer records. To guard his memories of their torrid, torrid love affair, Chakotay writes himself a paper note explaining everything that went on.

Similarly, in Scott Westerfeld's novel Uglies, Tally Youngblood undergoes the surgery to become a Pretty — but first she writes herself a note explaining all the plans she made to reverse the surgery. Because she won't remember them after she's become a Pretty.

In the movie Push, Nick gets someone to erase his memories and the memories of all his friends, so the mind-readers can't follow their plans. But he writes letters for himself and everybody else, to help them remember at the crucial moment — and there are instructions on how long to wait before reopening the letters.

And this technique is also used by Gwen Cooper in Torchwood (with so-so results), Noah Bennet on Heroes and Kurt on Odyssey Five. There's a great list over at TVTropes.

Keep a diary:

This is one step further than just writing a little note to yourself. In Gene Wolfe's novels Soldier in the Mist/Soldier of Arete, the protagonist loses his memory every single day. And he doesn't realize that his ability to converse with gods, ghosts and other mythic figures is unusual. He writes himself a detailed diary, and the first line of it is, "READ THIS EACH MORNING."

Lost's Daniel Faraday keeps a diary too, and seems to use it to remind himself of a lot of stuff he's forgotten as a result of some time-travel experiments that went wrong. Among other things, he doesn't remember writing the stuff about Desmond Hume being his constant.

Make up a song:

That's what Draycos does in Timothy Zahn's novel Dragon And Thief: A Dragonback Adventure. Draycos sees Jack being taken away on a spaceship, and needs to remember the words written on the ship's side — but they're in English, a language Draycos doesn't know. Says Draycos, "Alien symbols are difficult for one unfamiliar with them to memorize. But I am a poet-warrior of the K'da, and so as you were taken aboard the ship, I composed a song." For example, to describe the letter A, his lyric goes, "Two soldiers lean to, with joined hands." Or to describe the letter O, he sings, "Squeezed ring of fire, and what is more/A fire burns within its core." If you have an easier time remembering goofy song lyrics than unfamiliar symbols, this could work for you.

Leave yourself some objects to trigger a memory:

In Paycheck, Ben Affleck sees his own future, but then has his memory erased. So he leaves himself an envelope full of tiny objects, including a nail and an old penny, and a lottery ticket. They mean nothing to him — until he realizes that they're each incredibly useful at just the right moment. And they do help jog his memory, sort of. The Doctor on Doctor Who is constantly tying a knot in his hanky to remind him of things — but then he has to leave another knot in his hanky to help him remember why he made the previous knot.

Make yourself a video:

That's what Arnold Schwarzenegger does in Total Recall — he's forgotten his true identity as an agent of Mars intelligence (or maybe there was never anything to forget?) And now he leaves himself a video to explain everything — except maybe his past sellf isn't quite telling the exact truth.

Rodney McKay also leaves himself a video message in Stargate Atlantis after everybody loses their memories in the episode "Tabula Rasa." He tells himself to find Teyla quickly, or hundreds of people are going to die.

Create a memory key or "memory palace":

This one is a bit more involved. In John Crowley's modern fantasy novels, the Aegypt tetralogy, we meet the real-life philosopher Giordano Bruno, who had created a complex occult memory system, based on assigning graphical images to different pieces of information, allowing you to access them easily later. One such scheme involved concentric circles, and could allow you to set aside tons and tons of information. The Aegypt novels include the adventures of Bruno, who becomes the librarian of the Secret Library of San Domenico, keeping track of the huge collection of heretical texts using his amazing memory powers:

He knew and remembered every book, where it lay in Fra' Benedetto's cases, who had asked for it, and what was in it. In his vast and growing memory palace, the whole heavens in small, all that took up next to no room at all.

Also, in Orson Scott Card's Intergalactic Medicine Show, Tzu creates a "toy cupboard" in his mind, among other techniques for creating an order for random facts:

He learned to memorize longer and longer lists of things by putting them inside a toy cupboard the tutor told him to create in his mind, or by mentally stacking them on top of each other, or putting them inside each other. This was fun for a while, though pretty soon he got sick of having all kinds of meaningless lists memorized. It wasn't funny after a while to have the ball come out of the fish which came out of the tree which came out of the car which came out of the briefcase, but he couldn't get it out of his memory.

The Mentats, or human computers, in Frank Herbert's Dune seem to use a variety of techniques, including memory keys (and sapho juice) to remember tons of information with perfect clarity. There's a Yahoo group where would-be Mentats have posted advice on how to train your mind to be as clear as that of a Mentat — or a Vulcan.

Tattoo yourself:

It works for the guy in Memento.

Take smart drugs:

It's pretty amazing what you can do with smart drugs, but in Woody Allen's story "Think Hard, It'll Come Back To You," a smart drug called Cranial Pops can help you recall any weird bit of information that may have gotten away from anyone, allowing you to be the hit of a party — until they wear off and you crash.

Use hypnosis:

Lots of science-fiction heroes use hypnosis as a memory aid. In Robert Heinlein's Citizen Of The Galaxy, Baslim hypnotizes his foster son Thorby, so he can memorize a coded message to the Space Police, as well as a letter to a space captain to help Thorby get off the planet. When Claire forgets her assault by Ethan on Lost, the castaways use hypnosis to help her remember, and Fox Mulder on X-Files uses hypnosis to remember his sister's abduction by aliens.

More complex spins on the idea of jogging your memory using hypnosis include the hypnotic trigger that sets off River Tam and activates her killing-machine programming in Serenity:

And the images that make Chuck Bartowski suddenly recall bits of spy information stuck in his brain, in Chuck:

Wear video goggles or use image-recognition capability:

In David Brin's Earth, people wear True-Vu lenses that record everything they see, so they can recall stuff later. And in Amitav Ghosh's novel The Calcutta Chromosome, an object recognition computer can wring out all the details about objects you've seen. Science-fiction author Charles Stross suggests soon it'll be cheap and easy to store visual data on everything you've seen all day for a year, raising all sorts of questions about the boundaries between private memory and public records. Already, researchers have developed smart video goggles that will track what you see.

More way out solutions:

You could get a storage system in your head containing all the information you need to safeguard, as in Johnny Mnemonic by William Gibson (and the movie of the same name.) You could burn your own initials into your brain to remind you that you erased your own memory, like Zaphod Beeblebrox in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. You could use Wonder Woman's magic lasso to restore your memories, if you know where to track her down. You could transfer your memories into someone else, like Data in Star Trek: Nemesis or Spock in Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan. You could record your memories, like the people in Strange Days, or the dolls in Dollhouse. You could use a de-neuralizer to restore your memory, like Agent J in Men In Black II.

Top image: Citizen Of The Galaxy by Phil Golyshko. Additional reporting by Josh C. Snyder and Cyriaque Lamar.

Farinas is the artist behind ACT-I-VATE webcomic MOTRO, and he has recently taken to drawing Marvel and DC battles packed with superpowered Lego minifigs.

[Ulises Farinas via Forbidden Planet]

For the last year, Norman Osborn (a.k.a. Spider-Man's greatest archnemesis) has been the director of the intergovernmental military force H.A.M.M.E.R. Under his tenure, Norm's made bad behavior the norm - villains are posing as heroes, heroes are hunted as villains, dogs are breeding with cats, and so on.

Luckily for the forces of justice (and comic fans' hemorrhaging wallets), Norman's Dark Reign begins to wraps up this month with Siege: The Cabal, a prelude to the four-part Siege miniseries, which will detail Norman's inevitably ill-fated invasion of Thor's old stomping grounds, Asgard.

As a tribute to the man who made criminal insanity de rigueur for 2009, we've compiled the kookiest moments of the occasional Green Goblin's career. Thanks for memories, Norm.

(PS: As for Norman's man behind the curtain, I've got $25 riding on Shuma-Gorath and a Super Nintendo copy of Spider-Man & Venom: Maximum Carnage on Uncle Ben.)

Norman Pink-Slips The Swordsman

From: Secret Invasion: Dark Reign 1 (2008)

Andreas von Strucker never had a chance to become an A-list baddie. His dad was the most famous Nazi in the M.U. (Baron von Strucker), his superpower was way too incestuous for mainstream villany (skin-to-skin contact with his twin sister Andrea allowed him to fire energy bolts), and - when his sis kicked it - he traipsed about with a sword hilted with her tanned hide. Ick.

Given the Swordsman's lack of PR potential, it's unsurprising Norm fired Andreas from his gig as the Thunderbolts' in-house pompous bastard. Unfortunately for Andy, Norm's idea of a severance package was pretty literal.

Norman Fakes Aunt May's Death Just For Laughs

From: Spectacular Spider-Man 263 (1998)

In 1973, the Green Goblin throws Gwen Stacy off of the George Washington Bridge. It was poignant. In 1995, Aunt May dies of a heart attack (but only after revealing that she always knew Peter Parker was Spider-Man). This too was poignant.

And in 1998, Norman admits to kidnapping Aunt May, replacing her with a genetically altered elderly actress (?) and keeping the real May alive in a warehouse for absolutely no damn reason. This was why I stopped reading comic books in the late 90s.

Norman Recruits The Sentry with Hamburgers

From: Dark Avengers 3 (2009)

Norman's Dark Avengers sales pitch to the Sentry is awesome, particularly when he starts yammering out of the blue about Five Guys Burgers and Fries. Seriously, getting two mentally ill anti-heroes to bond over your burgers is product placement* In-N-Out can just dream about.

*To be fair, I tried Five Guys for the first time shortly after reading this. It was fucking fantastic. Yes, the Green Goblin sold me on a hamburger.

Norman Knocks Flash Thompson Off The Wagon

From: Peter Parker: Spider-Man 45 (2002)

In another story straight out of the "Overly Complex Green Goblin Scheme and Laughably Grim Take on a Classic Spider-Man Co-star" files, Norman hires a down-on-his-luck and recovering alcoholic Flash Thompson, gets him blotto, and puts him behind the wheel of an OsCorp truck on a collision course with Peter Parker's high school.

Luckily for Flash, the ensuing brain damage from the accident was retconned away by Peter Parker's deal with Mephisto in the One More Day storyline. Unluckily for Flash, he had instead lost his legs in Iraq. By the time Brander Newer Day rolls around, Flash will be caught betwixt the Scylla and Charybids of shingles and premature ejaculation.

Norman Mocks Spider-Man's Lack of Fluid

While we're on the topic of One More Day, we're pretty sure this 1982 exchange was retconned out of existence as well. Pity. If all of Spidey's rogues' gallery began making fun of his shortcomings in the fluid department, it could really mess him up on a psychosexual level.

Norman Watches the Submariner Take a Shower

From: Dark X-Men: The Beginning 1 (2009)

When Namor joined the Dark X-Men, one of the men seemingly tacked on a rider requiring the director of H.A.M.M.E.R. to watch the Prince of Atlantis' daily ablutions. Is it a mind game on Namor's part to give Osborn an inferiority complex? Is Norman just being Norman? We honestly cannot say.

Norman Knocks Up His Son's Girlfriend

From: The Amazing Spider-Man 598 (2009)

If Namor was indeed attempting to show up Norman's manhood, he'll have to try a little harder. For a white guy with cornrows, Norm's had disturbingly good luck with the fairer sex, with a big emphasis on "disturbingly" here.

In 2009, Norm impregnated his son Harry's girlfriend, Lily. Sure, she was secretly the supervillain she-goblin Menace (and the only woman strong enough to handle Norman's mutated goblin sperm), but really? Really? At least this stupid, creepy baby mama subplot wasn't born out of an even stupider, creepier baby mama subplot…or was it?

Norman Knocks Up Spider-Man's Girlfriend

From: The Amazing Spider-Man 512 (2004)

Hoo boy. Yes, that is Norman Osborn dirty dancing with Gwen Stacy. Yes, that is Norman's O-face. Yes, Norman is too evil for rubbers.

For those of you who don't remember this episode, allow us to recap in the simplest terms possible:

1. Norman has an affair with Gwen Stacy.
2. She secretly gives birth to twins. Norman's Goblin spunk alters the children's DNA and rapidly ages them to adulthood.
3. Norman has a hissy fit and chucks Gwen off a bridge.
4. The twins grow up to be super-assassins or some similar dross.

The most depressing part of this incident wasn't its necrophiliac treatment of the Silver Age of Comics. No, it's that One More Day didn't exile any of this dolorous twaddle into retcon oblivion.

Norman is Willem Dafoe

From: Spider-Man (2002)

Say what you will about his Power Rangers-esque bodysuit – when Willem Dafoe was out of his chartreuse kabuki mask, he brought a mantis-like sensuality to the Green Goblin that few other actors could muster. I almost wish Sam Raimi had simply painted Dafoe green, at the risk of audiences mistaking Norman for a deranged Green Bay Packers fan.

Norman Goes Spider Jerusalem on The Thunderbolts

From: Thunderbolts 120 (2008)

Thunderbolts 120 is perhaps the best portrayal of Norman Osborn. Ever. The issue begins with a five-page monologue of unmistakable Warren Ellis patois and ends with Norman vowing to kill his entire security staff just cuz'. Along the way, we are treated to infinitely quotable epigrams on…

His Green Goblin outfit: "I'm so glad I never washed this particular costume. Smells like death, blondes, and victory."

Venom and Swordsman: "I was wondering if you could direct me to the arm-eating retard and the sword-waving aristo. I have to punish them you see."

Himself: "I'm fricking martyr to my own innate heroism, is what I am. Norman Osborn, America's last hero. That's what I am."

I could write a whole dissertation on this one issue, but let's just say that the brilliance of Norman's portrayal here is that he epitomizes the hallmark difference between heroes and villains – restraint. Let the good guys hamstring their powers with laws and moral pantywaistry. Norman Osborn's screaming "I AM GOD!", watching his peons brown their trousers, and laughing his ass off about it. Who's to say he's the crazy one?

There's no word on how Disney's recent acquisition of Marvel (or Dubai's recent economic woes) will affect the development of the Marvel park in Dubai, but reportedly the plan is to open its doors in 2012. Off-site testing has already begun on at least three attractions: Flying with Spidey, Fantasticar and X-Men: Danger Room.

These concept illustrations come from Chimera Design, and show several designs from the park's planned City of Super Heroes, as well as a map of the park.

Dubai World Marvel Super Heroes Theme Park Concept [Disney and More via Neatorama]

The company's net income dropped from $50.6 million to (a still impressive, let's face it) $20.4 million in Q3 of 2009, and it's not just down to the lack of a movie in theaters; earnings in every department, surprisingly including publishing, were down compared with the same period last year.

So, should Mickey and his friends be worried? Not panicking, perhaps, but the drop in publishing is concerning; while last summer had Marvel Comics' Secret Invasion mega-epic, this year has seen both an increase in the prices of individual issues as well as the volume of releases and successful "mini-events" like Dark Avengers/X-Men, Dark Reign, the relaunch of the Ultimate line and Captain America: Reborn, which most would've thought should've kept earnings level at least. Is this just another sign that Marvel's strength is now movie making and IP library? And if so, what happens if future movies are more Hulk or X-Men Origins: Wolverine than Iron Man?

Marvel Net Income Declines 60% on Lower Film Revenue [Bloomberg]

Instead of Superheroes: Disney Mash-Ups

As much as I love a well-dressed Clark Kent with the Superman T-shirt peeking out from underneath his white button down, we've all seen it before. And sadly, the Watchmen idea is a little played out by now as well. I'm sorry, but the 1,000 Rorschach comic con cosplayers pretty much solidified Rorschach's status as this year's Joker costume. So mix it up, literally. Be a Disney Marvel Mashup like Mickey Venom here. It's clever, timely and most likely the most original costume you'll see all night.

Instead of Sexy Princess/Sexy Beloved Childhood Icons: Undead/Evil Princesses And Villains

Another Halloween, another batch of slutty Disney Princesses and beloved childhood characters getting sexified by the masses. Look, just because they make the costume, doesn't mean you have to wear it. Sexy Snow White and Rainbow Brite are TIRED. We suggest that if you're going to sexify a cartoon princess, do it with edge, twisted princess style — like this overhauled evil Alice get up from horrorland. You could even flip it around and be the baddie, we're actually kind of excited about sexy Maleficent, at least we haven't seen her around the block as many times as Snow White.

Instead of The Joker: Cesar's Joker

We get it, you really, really, really liked Dark Knight's Joker. Well so did millions of other people, which is why the streets are perpetually flooded with Jokers every year, The Office even poked fun at the Joker masses. This year if you must don the old purple suit, at least go retro Cesar Romero style. Don't forget the pencil-thin mustache.

Instead of Bloody Doctor: A Real Science Experiment Gone Wrong, District 9 Style

Every year one of my friends in the medical profession always half asses it with an old pair of scrubs and some fake blood. This is not scary, nor is it interesting. Put a timely spin on this look with a "Prawn" hand! Slap on a "property of MNU" and this amazing arm extension and BAM you're Wikus from District 9. Just remember to say "fook" a lot. Alien hand available on ebay.

Instead of Sexy Cat: Sexy Avatar Cat

Throngs of unwashed, mewing "sexy cats" prowl paws first through our city street every year. But this year, we beg of you, update your kitty ears and tails into a James Cameron approved sexy cat, an Avatar Na'vi. Plus 1,000 points if you wrap it in with Arrested Development's "never nude" shorts.

Instead of Darth Vader: Sexy Vader

While we all love a good Chewy and Han here and there, I'm a little tired of seeing poorly constructed Vaders. Give the old costume a whirl this year and throw a pair of heels on the Dark Lord.

Instead of Leia: Zombie Leia

Same thing that applies to Vader also applies to the tons of Leia costumes, switch it up, take her from beauty to undead lovely with a zombie twist!

Well, watching the movies? Not necessarily a bad idea. Watching Ultimate Avengers: The Movie, Ultimate Avengers 2: Rise Of The Panther (Well, kind of. See below), The Invincible Iron Man, Doctor Strange, Next Avengers and the Hulk Vs. movies in one sitting? One of the dumber ideas I've had in a long time. I love superheroes as much as the next man - even if the next man is Stan Lee himself - but I now believe that the human mind has a limit when it comes to this kind of thing. And that that limit is somewhere around four hours... Which, considering these DVDs average 70 minutes each, is a shame.

Ultimate Avengers: The Movie


On the one hand, I can understand why Marvel went with this for their first direct-to-DVD animated movie: It's pretty much a straight adaptation of the first volume of a critically-acclaimed reworking of the origins of a franchise featuring some of their biggest names. On the other, much of the reason for that critical acclaim had to do with the "mature" tone that's pretty much stripped away in this movie, leaving what really feels pretty much like a particularly grim, overlong episode of a generic superhero cartoon show. There's no real excitement here in the writing, performances or visuals; it's just... there. I have the feeling that, if I was fourteen and hated the world but still thought Captain America was awesome, it might be better, but as it is...? Not the greatest start to the viewing marathon.

Ultimate Avengers 2: Rise Of The Panther


And here's a bad sign for the rest of the movie marathon. Perhaps sensing how little I enjoyed Ultimate Avengers, the DVD Gods took pity on me: The review copy of this disc wouldn't play. But judging by the trailer, this is a weird mash-up of the Black Panther's first appearance in Fantastic Four and a retread of the Ultimates villains, which is... um... interesting, perhaps? I'm not feeling too bad for missing this.

The Invincible Iron Man


If nothing else, this movie makes you appreciate Jon Favreau and Robert Downey Jr. just that little bit more by how clumsily it handles Tony Stark's origins at That Guy In The Robot Suit. Yes, bringing in the Mandarin gives the movie more visual impact, but almost everything else that they change - whether it's the "I'm under investigation by the FBI so I'll just hang out in the alley beside my work" scenes or the "I hate you, Dad! I hate you I hate you I've bought the company somehow and you can run it because I love you" plot - would bring you as close to nerdtears as it did me. It's at this point that I start to wonder how much Marvel Animation is/was being used as a testing ground for the live-action movies, and whether the Iron Man movie was so good because they looked at this and saw what didn't work. Meanwhile, visually, everyone still looks very generic. For a comic book company with such strong artists, it's really surprising that Marvel seemed to be happy with such dull visuals for their animated movies (Compare and contrast with any of the DC animated projects of, what, the last two decades? Or most of Cartoon Network's output, for that matter).

Doctor Strange: The Sorceror Supreme


Here's the first piece of magic about the Doctor Strange movie: It seemed like it would never end. Also, and maybe it's because I was struggling to pay attention at this point, I'm not sure that it really made sense. It's another origin story with additions to make it more like a movie and less like something Stan Lee and Steve Ditko came up with in a mix of inspiration and deadline sweat but, just like in Invincible Iron Man, the new stuff - like the addition of a magical super team that recruits Strange so that he can learn about magic - just serves to confuse and bog down the movie and fill it with non-descript characters it's hard to care about. Watching so many of these in a row, I've started to realize how bad the characterization has been in these movies so far - either it's pretty much non-existant (the super team here are cannon fodder, really) or done with no subtlety whatsoever (Strange's switch from asshole to good guy, complete with "What about the children?" dialogue). Fans of the crazy Steve Ditko designs of the original comic will want to stay away; this is another - and, thankfully, the last - of the visually boring movies, completely lacking the off-kilter plasticity of the comic at its best.

Next Avengers: Heroes Of Tomorrow


Is it so wrong to want to kiss a movie? Probably, particularly an animated movie full of kids. But, really; after the last four movies, Next Avengers seemed like the greatest thing in the world - Fast-moving, original (Well, as original as a mash-up of Young Avengers and Avengers Next could be, but not an adaptation, at least) and with some interesting character design? I'll take several, please. Yes, it theoretically skews younger than the other movies, but somehow felt like it was pandering less (And, really, starting a movie with "Oh, all your favorite superheroes? They're either dead, abandoning their offspring - Yeah, really, nice move Thor - or enslaved by the bad guy" shows that this isn't exactly the most comforting movie you can imagine for kids) and if skewing younger means more enjoyable, then I'd be happy if Marvel kept doing movies for young'uns. The first genuinely good movie of the bunch, although I may be grading on a curve and/or lost whatever critical faculties I've had by this point.

Hulk Vs.

Easily the best of the bunch, Hulk Vs. is a weird split-DVD, offering two 45-ish minute movies, Hulk Vs. Wolverine and Hulk Vs. Thor and both of them are better than... well, everything else I've watched so far, apart from maybe Next Avengers. Ignore the title, though, because in both cases, the Hulk is kind of a bystander/McGuffin for the guest-star to jump off've and shine, and of the two episodes, the Thor one is by far the best. With a plot straight out of a mid-1970s issue of Marvel Team-Up (Loki brings the Hulk to Asgard to fuck with Thor! And it all goes wrong!) and a couple of unexpected twists (The death of one of the title characters, for example) packed into its short running time, it offers the kind of fast-paced thrills and spills I'd been looking for all along. Hulk Vs. Wolverine, meanwhile, feels like an odd mix of the comic book and movie versions of the character's history, as the rest of Weapon X try and take Wolverine back "home" and the Hulk complicates matters. It's... interesting, I guess, but feels more like the middle chapter of something instead of a standalone story by itself. But, again, it's better-written and more enjoyable than the earlier movies, and both Thor and Wolverine edge ever closed to a distinct visual style that the movies have lacked up to this point. Of the six DVDs, it's the only one I'd really recommend to anyone other than a Marvel completist, or animation masochist.

Watching all six of the movies so close together, you can see their evolution and understandable growing pains, from adaptations to all-new stories with Next Avengers and Hulk Vs., and also visually and in terms of trying to work out how to tell their stories - Both Next and Hulk feel rooted more in fan-friendly continuity, but that also makes them less bogged down with the need to explain everything, making them more enjoyable to watch for new viewers, ironically. Even though the movies are clearly improving, there's still a reverence to the original comics that holds the cartoons back in a way that, say, Batman: The Animated Series or The Brave and The Bold don't share - The people involved seem too concerned with keeping the spirit of continuity alive, at times, instead of the spirit of the characters, and the result is writing that feels lifeless at times, even in Hulk Vs. Wolverine. As soon as they can work out how to replicate the live-action movies' ability to pick and choose what works, and as soon as the powers that be look for bolder ways to visualize those stories, then they'll be in good shape. For now, what's there is a public growth from awkward beginnings to... well, an only slightly less awkward present.

The Marvel Animation 6 Film Set is available now.

After Marvel pushed back The Avengers' release date by a year, we crossed our fingers, hoping the plan was to fit The Avengers into Favreau's directing schedule. But no such luck. He'll still be onboard as an executive producer, but Favreau says he's simply not available to direct — and it's probably for the best:

"You need somebody who has the perspective of all the different franchises to bring them together. I have the myopic vision of just knowing and loving Iron Man."

He also says that, with his high-tech focus on Iron Man, The Avengers will need a director who is able to integrate the Marvel Universe's more science fiction aspects with the supernatural bits that come with Thor. But in the meantime, it sounds like we'll be seeing elements of the other Avengers movies teased in Iron Man 2.

"We want to reinforce a lot of the stuff we started to tip off," Favreau told MTV News. "'The Avengers' is a much larger concern for Marvel and Kevin Feige, who runs Marvel. They're going to be doing 'Thor' and 'Captain America,' and the way we might start to tease those things in this movie, some of it is stuff that we've discussed [and] some of the stuff you do last-minute as you figure out how that stuff is coming together."

"It's an evolving, amorphous thing," he explained. "If we decide and commit too early, the secret always gets out."

So the question is, who's going to sit in The Avengers' director's chair now that Favreau is out?

Jon Favreau Won't Direct 'Avengers,' Explains 'Iron Man 2' Tie-In Process [MTV News]

Talking to Collider's Steven Weintraub, Goyer explained,

In the case of Ghost Rider [2], I wrote the script for that about nine years ago. And Sony decided, and the producers, that they wanted to make that as the sequel script. In this case, I'm coming on as producer and we're basically just doing a polish to my nine year old script, so there's not as much work involved... [Originally] it was a Blade type film, and now they want it to be PG-13. That said, The Dark Knight has come out, and The Dark Knight... I like the say it was skirting the bleeding edge of PG-13, so I think that people feel like you can get away with, not get away with, but people's concepts of what a PG-13 movie can be have changed. There's no question that we're going to have to tone some things down, but I don't think we'll have to do that much.

A retro, violent Ghost Rider? If anything can coax a better performance out've Nic Cage than what he offered in the original movie, here's hoping it's that.

David Goyer talks GHOST RIDER 2 and MAGNETO [Collider]

Variety reported that Columbia Pictures is planning the return of the flaming-headed pile of film that is Ghost Rider, with David Goyer in talks to write the script, and the man with the flaming head and crazy eyes Nicolas Cage on tap to return. Well, at least Goyer is one step in the right direction for this franchise.

Buried in the story was also the news that Fox is also working on bringing a new Daredevil film, plus the long-awaited Silver Surfer solo film, back from development hell. We're very excited about the Silver Surfer news, but it's going to take us a long while to unsee the Ben Affleck Daredevil.

All the images are by illustrator Jeffrey Thomas, who's as twisted as he is brilliant. Please oh please can't we at least get a comic book out of these images?

[via Comics Alliance]

[via Metafilter]

Let's get the familiar names out of the way first, shall we? Marvel have the first issue of Ultimate Comics: Armor Wars, which places Planetary and Transmetropolitan writer Warren Ellis in charge of Iron Man again, freed of too many continuity woes and watches what happens. Also out of continuity, Spider-Man Noir reimagines Peter Parker in 1920s New York, while the in-continuity (and non-Sam Jackson-esque) Nick Fury realizes the futility of existence in Secret Warriors Volume 1: Nick Fury, Agent of Nothing. Less existential pondering and more ass-kicking can be found in Hulk: Planet Skaar and Hercules: Prince of Power, both of which explain the finer points of "smashing," I believe.

Smashing may help the political state of the Romulan empire, which is somewhat shaky in IDW's Star Trek Romulans: Schism, while Dynamite add their voice to the licensed choir with what may turn out to be the surprise of the week: The first issue of Galactica 1980, resurrecting (and promising to improve) Lorne Greene's far-from-finest hour as the original Battlestar Galactica finds Earth in the middle of disco.

DC Comics have a couple of interesting collections to consider this week: Showcase Presents Warlord Vol. 1 reprints the beginnings of DC's premiere sword and sorcery comic - with some great art by Mike Grell - while Tom Strong Deluxe Edition Vol. 1 does the same for the first year of Alan Moore's retro "science hero" series which lurches from semi-parody to sincere tribute to stories gone by, with amazing art by people like Chris Sprouse, Art Adams and Dave Gibbons.

If you're looking for more Gibbons, this is definitely your week; he pops up (again working with his Watchmen collaborator Moore) alongside many other creators in the enjoyable The Spirit Archives: The New Adventures hardcover collection of a short-lived 1990s attempt to revive Will Eisner's classic character, but the motherlode for Gibbons fans - or Frank Miller fans, for that matter - is the deluxe collection The Life and Times of Martha Washington In the 21st Century, which brings together all of Miller and Gibbons' alternate future political satire, from Give Me Liberty all the way to last year's The Death of Martha Washington. Individual, powerful and weirdly compelling, it'd be the book of the week, if it wasn't for two other Dark Horse releases.
Those would be Beasts of Burden, a new series by Space Ghost (and Milk & Cheese) writer Evan Dorkin and artist Jill Thompson about the pet protectors of a particularly supernatural neighborhood (Look here for a sample of what to expect and fall in love), and Super Spy creator Matt Kindt's new graphic novel, 3 Story: The Secret History of the Giant Man, which takes a serious and beautiful look at the old cliche of the man who was as tall as a building. Both are highly recommended.

Whether you're looking to buy all of Dark Horse's impressive slate this week or something else, the Diamond Shipping List can help you decide what you should be spending money on, and the Comic Shop Locator Service will make sure you know where to spend it. Just remember to pick up something new and unusual this week; it's a good week to go outside your norm.