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San Francisco, 1:16 PM
Sat Nov 28
11 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #masseffect more →

    Five Ways to Hit on Aliens

    Mass Effect Will Save All The Wacky Aliens From Extinction In The Movies

    New "Mass Effect" Aliens Are Jacking Your Asteroid
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of bookfoldbrewcineaste bookfoldbrewcineaste
    11/12/08

    In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
    Annalee, I see all our talk about live-action tentacle porn back on the Galaxy of Terror thread has gotten your imaginative juices flowing, so to speak. If I can plant more kink in your subconscious, will you post about it?:-)
     Reply
    bookfoldbrewcineaste was starred bookfoldbrewcineaste was unstarred
    Image of Annalee Newitz Annalee Newitz
    11/12/08

    @bookfoldbrewcineaste: Honestly I don't know how you could possibly plant more kink in there. I had to start growing it in my conscious mind because my subconscious was totally full.
     Reply
    Annalee Newitz was starred Annalee Newitz was unstarred
    Image of bookfoldbrewcineaste bookfoldbrewcineaste
    11/13/08

    @bookfoldbrewcineaste: You obviously have not been keeping up with recent advances in kink technology. It's all hydroponics now. It takes up less subconscious space w/out sacrificing yield. If you were to make the switch, you could plant tentacle porn *and* alien abduction fantasies (including probes!) in the subconscious space that you're using *just* for tentacle porn right now.


    Hydroponic Kink--Keeping the Dirt Out of Filth Since 2002

     Reply
    bookfoldbrewcineaste was starred bookfoldbrewcineaste was unstarred
    Image of Annalee Newitz Annalee Newitz
    11/13/08

    @bookfoldbrewcineaste: I'll try it! Sounds environmentally-friendly, too!
     Reply
    Annalee Newitz was starred Annalee Newitz was unstarred
    Image of Meirelle Meirelle
    11/12/08

    In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
    But make sure you do your research first. You never know what kind of peculiar mating habits those aliens will have.
     Reply
    Meirelle was starred Meirelle was unstarred
    Image of noncornbatant noncornbatant
    11/12/08

    In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
    "always remember to hang out in giant nightclubs that are near highly-classified research facilities"


    This makes perfect sense, except that sometimes I can't tell the difference between a highly-classified nightclub and a giant research facility.

     Reply
    noncornbatant was starred noncornbatant was unstarred
    Image of Annalee Newitz Annalee Newitz
    11/12/08

    @noncornbatant: Think of it this way. The club has naked people dangling from trapezes. The research facility has naked people in glass cages. See? It all makes sense now.
     Reply
    Annalee Newitz was starred Annalee Newitz was unstarred
    Image of Jonn Jonn
    11/12/08

    In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
    I once thought that nothing good could come of Mr. Davies beating people over the head with his "teh gay is awesum!!11" philosophy. I am a big enough man to admit I was wrong.
     Reply
    Jonn was starred Jonn was unstarred
    Image of Alexis Alexis
    11/12/08

    In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
    OK, I'm just gonna come out and say it.


    There's something rather vulgar about Geena Davis' face.


    I don't know what that something is, but it's dirty. All I know is that I covered it up when my boss walked by so he wouldn't think I was looking at vintage porn.

     Reply
    Alexis was starred Alexis was unstarred
    Image of Willtheconqueror Willtheconqueror
    11/12/08

    In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
    So wait should I not False Disqualify, Throw Negs, or use Peacock theory?


    I mean Mystery taught me all this stuff and I wanted to use it to get one of those perfect 10 aliens to plant their eggs in my stomach.

     Reply
    Willtheconqueror was starred Willtheconqueror was unstarred
    Image of BullfightsOnAcid BullfightsOnAcid
    11/12/08

    @Willtheconqueror: I heard The Matador has like 5 different alien embryos growing inside him. He's the man!
     Reply
    BullfightsOnAcid was starred BullfightsOnAcid was unstarred
    Image of bonniegrrl bonniegrrl
    11/12/08

    In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
    Dang, I was set until step #5!
     Reply
    bonniegrrl was starred bonniegrrl was unstarred
    Image of BullfightsOnAcid BullfightsOnAcid
    11/12/08

    In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
    "Did it hurt? When you fell out of your spaceship?"


    "Is that a parasitic sibling appendage sticking out from your body or are you just happy to see me?"


    "You must be an angel... what's that? You are an angel... of death!

     Reply
    BullfightsOnAcid was starred BullfightsOnAcid was unstarred
    Image of russdanger russdanger
    11/12/08

    In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
    Offer to let them gnaw off your head while they deposit their larvae into your body cavity.


    And ask them if they've lost weight.

     Reply
    russdanger was starred russdanger was unstarred
    Image of B B
    11/12/08

    @russdanger: You look malnourished, are you suffering from internal parasites?
     Reply
    B was starred B was unstarred
    Image of bonniegrrl bonniegrrl
    11/12/08

    @russdanger: hahaha

    "Does this host make me look fat?"
     Reply
    bonniegrrl was starred bonniegrrl was unstarred
    Image of NotArthurPDragon NotArthurPDragon
    11/12/08

    In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
    I much prefer "James T. Kirk's Guide To Macking The Universe."
     Reply
    NotArthurPDragon was starred NotArthurPDragon was unstarred
    Image of EBone EBone
    11/13/08

    @NotArthurPDragon: Speak. In a. Very. Stepped. Manner. When telling. Alien Babe. In. Tinfoil bikini. About. Love. On Earth.
     Reply
    EBone was starred EBone was unstarred
    Image of Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H. Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H.
    11/12/08

    In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
    I'm usually just polite and listen to them. I try and understand that it's difficult being in a new place and that sometimes all an Alien needs is some one not doing the full court press.

    If that doesn't work I threaten to call MiB.
     Reply
    Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H. was starred Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of dirtybacon dirtybacon
    11/13/08

    @Grrsn Dn: I've tried that, but they just keep going on and on about their mothers.
     Reply
    dirtybacon was starred dirtybacon was unstarred
    Image of goldfarb goldfarb
    11/12/08

    In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
    thanks for the tips...but I don't think I'll need them...I think that stripper in Alien Nation really liked me!
     Reply
    goldfarb was starred goldfarb was unstarred
    Image of BcBeBop BcBeBop
    11/12/08

    In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
    Massive Effect? Really, UI8.com, that's just shabby.
     Reply
    BcBeBop was starred BcBeBop was unstarred
    Image of Annalee Newitz Annalee Newitz
    11/12/08

    @BcBeBop: I was like what are you talking about until I realized it was in the tags. Fixed now.
     Reply
    Annalee Newitz was starred Annalee Newitz was unstarred
    Image of ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H. ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H.
    11/12/08

    In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
    MASSIVE EFFECT!
     Reply
    ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H. was starred ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of Annalee Newitz Annalee Newitz
    11/12/08

    @ggodo: Dude what!!!!
     Reply
    Annalee Newitz was starred Annalee Newitz was unstarred
    Image of crashedpc - Haifisch crashedpc - Haifisch
    11/12/08

    @Annalee Newitz: Hurr.... that's a pickup line... you have a "massive effect" on me.. hurr...
     Reply
    crashedpc - Haifisch was starred crashedpc - Haifisch was unstarred
    Image of Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip! Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip!
    11/12/08

    @Annalee Newitz:

    Possibly he was going to correct you. The name of the game is Mass Effect.


    It's a nitpick though. Everybody knows what game you are talking about.

     Reply
    Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip! was starred Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip! was unstarred
    Image of Annalee Newitz Annalee Newitz
    11/12/08

    @Belabras: Sorry -- as I mentioned below, I didn't realize it was in the tags as "massive effect." Fixed!
     Reply
    Annalee Newitz was starred Annalee Newitz was unstarred
    Image of Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip! Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip!
    11/12/08

    @Annalee Newitz:

    Don't hate me. You've got 'Massive Effect' in the movie description as well.
     Reply
    Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip! was starred Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip! was unstarred
    Image of Annalee Newitz Annalee Newitz
    11/12/08

    @Belabras: I don't see it . . . have you tried clearing cache? I fixed it in the description right after it went up.
     Reply
    Annalee Newitz was starred Annalee Newitz was unstarred
    Image of ManchuCandidate ManchuCandidate
    11/12/08

    In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
    Sounds good, but what about all that alien tendency to eat human flesh and/or cause painful death during sex?
     Reply
    ManchuCandidate was starred ManchuCandidate was unstarred
    Image of Annalee Newitz Annalee Newitz
    11/12/08

    @ManchuCandidate: We just help with picking up -- you're on your own after that.
     Reply
    Annalee Newitz was starred Annalee Newitz was unstarred
    Image of dirtybacon dirtybacon
    11/13/08

    @ManchuCandidate: I'm pretty sure Fleshbot has that part covered.
     Reply
    dirtybacon was starred dirtybacon was unstarred
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