Monday:

The Middleman this week is all about the cranky robot Ida. Nanobots take over her circuits and she becomes evil. Finally, I've been dying for a Ida-centric episode since the beginning, her sassy back and forth with Wendy is why I love her. The Middleman is on ABC Family at 10 PM.

Futuristic private dick Charlie Jade solves universe-hopping shenanigans at 3 AM on the Sci Fi Channel.

Movies:

Let your mind flutter back through time with Ashton Kutcher, as he travels back in time to save his girlfriends life over, and over, and over, in The Butterfly Effect on FX at 9 PM. Also genetically engineered dinosaurs will roam the Earth again, but in their own theme park, in Jurassic Park on the Sci Fi channel at 9 PM.

Tuesday:

The Sci Fi Channel gives us all Jessica Alba all day with a Dark Angel marathon. Tune in at 8 A.M. to watch the genetically engineered Alba kick butt in a post-apocalyptic world. After last weeks super dark Eureka, this week's new episode "Show Me The Money," looks like a return to the light comedy fare. This week, the super-genius town of Eureka has to deal with a cursed mummy on the loose. The show airs at 9 PM on the Sci Fi Channel.

Movies:

Watch the making of Darth Vader in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith on the Spike channel at 9 PM.

Wednesday:

Get a glimpse into the future, and meet our future robot slaves (or is that overlords?) on The NextWorld: Android Helpers At Home which airs on the Discovery Channel at 8 PM.

MythBusters lunar landing episode breaks down the rumors that the whole moon landing was just a hoax on the Discovery Channel at 9 PM.

Thursday:

Movies:

Watch the world blow to bits, no thanks John Connor (Nick Stahl) in Terminator 3. The absent-minded professor makes a basketball team fly with the aid of his scientific experiments, in the 1997 version of Flubber on TBS at 9 PM. Watch the Federation fight the Romulan baddies in Star Trek: Nemesis at 10:30 PM on AMC.

Friday:

The Sci Fi Channel is hosting an all-day Star Trek: Enterprise marathon.

Movies:

Help teenage Matthew Broderick outsmart a government computer that's taken control over the United States' weapons and is ready to start World War III, in War Games at 12:30 AM on AMC.

Saturday:

Movies:

Join the fight against mutant injustice with an X-Men double feature on FX. At 6:30 PM watch X-Men, and right after that, watch X2 at 9 PM.

The Sci Fi Channel has a large movie marathon, including Beyond Loch Ness at 1 PM, and Black Swarm at 7 PM. The original monster man, Boris Karloff, does what he does best in monster movies. In House of Frankenstein, Karloff and his hunchback friend continue the work of Dr. Frankenstein, plus there's Dracula as played by John Carradine.

Sunday:
Learn everything you've ever wanted to know about creatures without bones. Big fat scary floppy monster creatures terrorize us, in MonsterQuest: Boneless Horror at 2 AM on the History Channel. Metalocalypse teaches us all how to save a failing economy with one Dethklok record, but it needs to be on time or else we're all doomed, in "Dethrecord" in on Adult Swim at 2 AM.

Movies:

Discover your secret inner superhero with Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson in Unbreakable on the Sci Fi Channel at 9 PM.

Reasons your future self will be mad at you if you're not watching The Middleman now:

1) The characters have conflict without hating each other or being drama queens. And they're likeable. Really. I know, it's hard to imagine. When trainee superhero Wendy Watson lets her boss, the Middleman, down, he gives her a really sweet talk about how sometimes you have to follow your emotions and it's okay. The characters all insult each other, but you can tell they like each other, which is rarer than it should be. (Except for Ada, the robot secretary, who seems to hate everybody for reals.) The two leads, Natalie Morales and Matt Keeslar, manage to be likable, obnoxious, clever and dumb all at once. It's like watching a master class. Plus they're both as cute as buttons. (Okay, I'm shallow.) Keeslar is like a young Bruce Campbell sometimes, making his ridiculously square milk-drinking character seem the hippest person in the room.

2) It's actually funny. I don't know why this is, but most attempts at doing "funny" science fiction on U.S. television fall flat for me. Like the Sci Fi Channel's Eureka, which always seems a little too cute and full of pizzicato violins signifying "wackiness." But The Middleman is the rare scifi comedy that actually has humor, both through crackling dialog ("A man asked me that question once. I kicked his male reproductive organs into his watch pocket. Now he must check the time whenever he wishes to copulate") and through bizarre situations like Wendy assaulting a robot interrogation practice dummy. It's both witty and silly, without giving itself a sprained eye tendon from winking too much.

3) It's got a nice Men In Black vibe. In last week's episode, we learned that there are alien refugees living on Earth among us, disguising themselves as rich plastic surgery victims to explain their weird features. And our heroes aren't here to mess with the aliens, but to protect them and keep their secret for them. The world isn't just full of monsters and genetically modified gorilla gangsters trying to destroy everything, there are plenty of aliens and weird creatures who are neutral or good. And MM and Wendy, our heroes, are privy to this whole secret world in the process of saving it. It makes you want to know more.

4) Each episode is just crammed with stuff. Each of the show's episodes so far has had an engaging "A" plot, with some fun "B" plots involving Wendy's flighty roommate Lacey or her butthead ex-boyfriend Ben. There's always at least one or two fun twists, like Wendy having to fly down to Mexico to rescue the Middleman and their teacher, Sensei Ping from a ton of Mexican wrestlers who are using a perfect diamond to create an unbreakable force field inside a pyramid. That thing that so many shows do ineptly, where there's a big A plot and a personal B plot, really works here. I care equally about Wendy's work life and personal life and am happy to see them intersect.

5) There are insane gadgets. Like a scientific gadget that detects things beyond the realm of science, a BTRS scanner. And Wendy's ray gun, which sadly has "training wheels." And the big shiny answer ball, the HEYDAR, which plugs directly into Ada the android's head and lets her scan all of the world's information feeds. And the goggles which let Ada see through the Middleman's eyes. Plus teleporters! And the Middlemobile!

6) It's comic-booky, in the right way. Not surprisingly, with comics dominating the movie world, you're also seeing more of a comics influence on television, with shows like Heroes being self-consciously comic-booky. But The Middleman just revels in the best comic-book traditions, like mad science and crazy magic existing side-by-side. (The way you'll have Iron Man hanging out with Doctor Strange in Marvel Comics, for example.) It's not just based on a comic, it's actually a comic book in video form. The non-stop onslaught of superintelligent gorillas, weird aliens, crazy robots and more, reminds me of the best bits of Warren Ellis' Nextwave, Matt Fraction's Casanova and a whole host of great Fred Van Lente comics. That really should be all I need to say: "It's very Van Lente." And that should make you program your TiVo and stay home for it.

Reasons you can give your future self for not watching The Middleman:

Well, it is a bit fluffy sometimes, but it's a comedy, duh. The character of Noser, who apparently lives in the hallway outside Wendy's apartment and recites song lyrics, is a one-joke character who gets less funny every time he shows up. It won't make you debate afterwards as much as Lost or BSG, and it's not quite as clever as Doctor Who at its best. That's all I got.

So The Middleman is on tonight at 10 PM on ABC Family. It's about zombie trout and stuff, and it's going to be awesome. But what else is there to watch this week? Here's what I see:

Tonight at 8: there are two awesome competing movies: the 1990 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie on ABC Family, and White Chicks, the FBI weird prosthetic body transformation film, on FX. Also, neo-noir dimension-hopping show Charlie Jade is on tonight at 3:00 AM on Sci Fi. It's the episode "Dirty Laundry."

Tomorrow night, there's an "HBO First Look" at The Dark Knight at 9:30 on HBO, natch.

Wednesday night at 9, there's a new episode of PBS' science anthology series Nova ScienceNOW, focusing on birdsong and violent space weather. Meanwhile, the History Channel jumps on the Bat-mania bandwagon with Batman Unmasked: The Psychology Of The Dark Knight, also at 9. Here's a clip:

Thursday night, there's a new episode of horror anthology series Fear Itself on NBC at 10. Darren Lynn Bousman's episode, "New Year's Day," focuses on a young woman trying to escape from zombies in a post-apocalyptic landscape. Here's the previous episode, by Stuart Gordon: Also, the Sci Fi Channel is having a marathon of Jake 2.0, which was really like Chuck 1.0, all day Thursday.

Friday night, the Sci Fi Channel once again has its strongest original programming: the Doctor Who episode "Turn Left" at 9, followed by a new Stargate Atlantis, "The Seed." I loved "Turn Left," in which Donna visits an alternate world without a Doctor, almost as much as last week's episode, and you can read my recap here. As for "The Seed," all I really need to tell you is "Jewel Staite-centric episode." Apparently she gets infected by some kind of nasty spore or something. What do you care? It's Jewel Staite, on camera more than usual.

Saturday morning at 10, there's a new Ben 10: Alien Force, "Plumber's Helpers." A pair of alien plumbers kidnap Kevin, thinking he's an alien. That's on the Cartoon Network.

Sunday night at 11:30, the Cartoon Network has a new Venture Bros.: "Tears Of A Sea Cow." Also, ABC Family is showing the quaint old Tim Burton Batman 2:00 PM. To which I say, "Keep bustin'." And FX is showing Batman Begins at 8 PM.

Tonight

Superhero action-comedy The Middleman is having its most scifi episode to date at 10 PM on ABC Family. This would be a hot contender for the best show on TV during the fall season, but in the summer it's simply unmissable. "A group of peaceful aliens with an addiction to plastic surgery are being hunted down by a homicidal entity. Meanwhile, Ben puts his and Wendy's break-up video on the internet: Wendy is not thrilled." Okay, just take a moment and let that sink in: plastic-surgery-addicted aliens, plus Ben being more of a dick than ever. Equals ruleage. If you don't believe me, here's a new featurette to back me up:

Why is The Middleman banished to 10 PM? Why, so ABC Family can show the all-important Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. Which may actually have some scifi content to it, especially since it features a "mad scientist" named Jonathan Jacobo. Did you know Freddie Prinze Jr. and Sarah Michelle Gellar made a Scooby sequel? I didn't. Wikipedia says Seth Green and Ruben Studdard are in it. And apparently, a direct-to-DVD Scooby 3 is in production. Really?

And at 3 AM, Sci Fi has a new Charlie Jade: "And Not A Drop To Drink." Here's what happens:

Charlie's leads draw him further into the series' dark world, Reena undergoes torture, Jasmine wants to remain free, we get a glimpse of Gammaverse politics, and we finally witness 01 Boxer travelling between worlds.

Movies: AMC has the original Escape From New York at 6 PM, so hurry home from work. Spike is still showing the Star Wars movies. The Sci Fi Channel is showing Lawnmower Man 2 at 3:00 Tuesday morning. I've never seen it, but I bet there's trippy VR sex. But no Pierce Brosnan (sob).

Tuesday

The History Channel has a rerun of The Universe, about stars beyond the Milky Way, at 8 PM. Followed by a new Mega Disasters, about a "deadly jet collision," at 10 PM.

Movies: TCM is showing 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea at 9 AM. HBO has the Simpsons Movie at 8 PM. And TMC has Mission: Impossible III at 2:40 Wednesday morning, written and directed by J.J. Abrams. And at 5:00 AM Wednesday, there's Hold On!, a 1966 British comedy about a rock group who are going to have a spaceship named after them.

Wednesday

The Sci Fi Channel is bringing back a long-canceled show called Scare Tactics, which uses Hollywood special effects to frighten and confuse people. Tonight at 9, a medical assistant thinks she's delivering Satan's baby. Yeah. I know.

There's a new Nova ScienceNOW at 9 PM on PBS, tackling various topics including saving the Hubble Space Telescope, the first primates, and whether we're going to run out of effective antibiotics. Here's a clip:

Or you could watch a new MonsterQuest on the History Channel at 9, all about the "Black Beast of Exmoor." Your call.

Movies: HBO has Galaxy Quest at 2:45, and Encore has the original Stargate at 4:05 PM, just in case you want to bone up on all things Gate-y before Friday's Atlantis premiere.

Thursday

HBO has a half-hour special about the new Batman movie The Dark Knight, at 10:30 PM. Also, we're totally not mentioning that spy show Burn Notice is starting its second season on USA at 10 PM. Even though it does have scifi hero Bruce Campbell in it. And Battlestar Galactica's Tricia Helfer. And there are some pretty scifi-ish MacGyver-y gadgets. Anyway, not mentioning it. Moving on.

Movies: FX has Hellboy at 8 PM and 10 PM. And at midnight, USA is showing The Nutty Professor — the Eddie Murphy version. Isn't that so much better than sleeping? Also, it's not really scifi, but I have to mention Witches of Breastwick 2, another midnight movie, just for the title. Apparently it's about "seductive women." Speaking of seductive, Jeff Goldblum is on fire in The Fly, on Cinemax at three in the morning, and that's followed by Children Of Men at 5:10 AM.

Friday

At 9 PM, the Sci Fi Channel has the best Doctor Who episode of 2008, "Midnight." Without giving away spoilers, it's an episode that looks like it was made for about 50 pence, and it substitutes freakish drama for special effects. I was blown away, as you can see from the link above. Here's the first few minutes:

And then at 10, Stargate Atlantis returns, picking up where it left off last season. Can they rescue Teyla's baby? Also, Robert Picardo from Star Trek: Voyager joins the cast as a regular and immediately starts making everybody's life difficult. We reviewed the first episode a while back, and you can read our write-up here.

Movies: The Disney Channel is showing the live-action Thunderbirds movie, starring America's favorite polygamist Bill Paxton, at 8 PM. And at the same time, the Cartoon Network has Ben 10: Secret Of The Omnitrix.

Saturday

The Cartoon Network has a new Ben 10: Alien Force at 10: the Forever Knights find themselves unable to capture an escaped dragon, so Ben tries to help. Only to feel conflicted when he hears both sides of the story.

Movies: The CW has X-Men at 1 PM. And USA has Jurassic Park at 8.

Sunday

At 11:30 PM, there's a new Venture Bros.: "The Ant Farm, or What Goes Down Must Come Up." And that's about all I can find out about it. It's followed by a new Metalocalpyse at midnight: "Dethdad." Toki hears that his dad is dying, so he journeys to Norway, and the rest of the band comes along to get "album inspiration" and put off actually working on their album.

Tonight

As usual, the week's TV highlight is a new episode of superhero show The Middleman, at its new time of 10 PM on ABC Family. This time around, the Middleman's sidekick Wendy is supposed to learn fighting from Sensei Ping, but he's kidnapped by a band of Mexican Wrestlers — who also get their hands on the Middleman himself. If you like fun, then I highly recommend The Middleman — I had high hopes for the series, but it's actually surpassed them, mostly thanks to Natalie Morales' engaging performance and the incredibly high-density clever scripts. But don't take my word for it, here's what Henry Jenkins has to say. He's a professor, after all:

The scripts for the series, not to mention the comics, are full of one laugh out loud one-liner after another, most of them playing on precise and pithy references to popular culture: I haven't seen a script this dense with injokes since early Joss Whedon... The performances consistently live up to the quality of the script: everyone gets a few memorable lines and moments in the spotlight in the opening episode and I can't wait to see where the characters go from here.

And here's a trailer for the new episode:

Also tonight, Spike is showing Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones. The six Star Wars films are appearing almost every night on Spike this week, so if you missed their earlier showings, you can stop panicking and start watching the rise and fall of Anakin.

And at 3 AM (!!) the Sci Fi Channel is showing a new (to Americans) episode of dimension-shifting noir show Charlie Jade. Charlie Jade thinks that 01 Boxer, the dimension-jumping psycho, killed Elliott Krogg, who's become the scapegoat for a bombing that killed a lot of people. Meanwhile, back in Charlie's dystopian home dimension, Jasmin is grappling with the fact that a woman of her social rank is not supposed to be self-sufficient, and she has to decide whether to use sexual favors to survive.

At almost the same time Tuesday morning (3:15), Cinemax is showing My Super Ex-Girlfriend, to get you in the mood for Hancock. Marvel at Hollywood's cluelessness, and maybe get a few chuckles out of an airborne Uma Thurman.

Tuesday

The ever-reliable History Channel is serving up yet another dose of paranoia and mega-science, with a new episode of Mega Disasters at 10 PM. It's about "airborne attack," and it may make you want to wear a breathing mask if you live in the city. Here's the description:

Anthrax is the most feared of all the biological weapons—spores entering the body through the lungs are lethal. In 2001, a simple letter, sent through the US mail, paralyzed a nation, when anthrax spores were found inside. Experts predict that anthrax released over a populated area would result in unprecedented loss of life—a few pounds of anthrax released under the right conditions could kill hundreds of thousands of people. Will anthrax be used to create a worldwide disaster?

There's also a rerun of The Universe, focusing on the moon, at 8 PM.

AMC is showing the Don Knotts space comedy, The Reluctant Astronaut, at 3:45. Here's a giant chunk of that movie:

Wednesday

Tonight it's the battle of the science programs! Two different shows are airing at 9 PM — will you watch the respectable, highbrow science of Nova ScienceNow on PBS? Or a new MonsterQuest on History, focusing on "Super Rats"? Well, let's see... Nova ScienceNow includes segments on personal DNA testing, pulling excess carbon out of the atmosphere, which are sort of hot-button topics right now. On the other hand, MonsterQuest has evidence that rats used to be huge — and these massive, cat-sized rats are making a comeback. And they have an appetite for anything... even human flesh!!

Hmmm... serious science. Or cat-sized people-eating rats. What will it be? Does this sample of Nova ScienceNow help?

Another scheduling smackdown: FX is showing I, Robot (the Will Smith movie) at 5:30, and TMC has Starman, the movie about a widow and an alien on the run, at 6:30. Somehow, I'm not guessing that's much of a dilemma, for anyone who gets TMC.

Thursday

Tonight at 10 PM, there's a new episode of horror anthology series Fear Itself: "Eater," directed by Stuart Gordon. (Director of everything from Robot Jox to Reanimator.) In "Eater," a rookie cop has to watch over a serial killer called the "Eater," but her fellow cops start acting weird and she realizes nobody is whom they seem. (This website says "Eater" already appeared June 5, but the TV listings and IMDB both say it's a new episode as of this Thursday.)

The Sci Fi Channel is showing episodes of the classic Twilight Zone all day today and tomorrow. I wonder if they'll show that one with the twist ending? And the aliens?

We've talked a lot about how much we love C.S.A.: Confederate States of America, the alternate history movie about a world where the South won the Civil War. It's a wicked satire, but also a sharp-edged mirror on our real world, because it shows how different its alternate world isn't in many ways. And now you can check it out for yourself, on IFC at 7:45.

After showing the first two Planet Of The Apes movies a bunch lately, AMC is finally showing a different one, Escape From The Planet Of The Apes. Unfortunately, it's at 5 AM. Get up early and psych yourself up for work with some ape-action.

At 12:10 Friday morning, Encore has 12 Monkeys, Terry Gilliam's weird time-traveling plague movie starring Brad Pitt and Bruce Willis. I'm probably the only person who didn't like this movie — I found it a little too precious, and felt like it was an inferior remake of Gilliam's Brazil. But maybe I'll take this chance to watch it again and see if I was too harsh. And your chance to watch it again and remind yourselves how wrong I am.

And then at 12:30 AM Friday, Cinemax has Alien Sex Files: Aliens Gone Wild. Here's the plot description: "Lusty extraterrestrials explore human sexuality." It doesn't actually mention anal probes at all. Also, the HBO page says the movie features "gorgeous, sex-starved aliens" who cause an "explosion of erotic activity."

And at 3 AM, TCM is showing the 1941 version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. See where the Hulk came from, and brace yourself for some classic 1940s science horror. Or you could just hold out for an hour and watch Mortal Kombat on TNT at 4 AM.

Friday

Tonight at 7 PM, ION Television has Gadgetman, starring Marina Sirtis from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Admit it, you wondered what she'd been up to apart from the Trek movies and occasional Voyager cameos. And just look at this great synopsis: "When a gadget-inventing professor is kidnapped for his latest invention, a wallet computer, his son enlists the help of a detective who is not all she appears to be." Marina probably shows whole new facets of her personality here. Or you could just watch The Fantastic Four and Spider-Man 2, back to back on FX.

Also, the Sci Fi Channel has more Twilight Zone all day today, plus all evening until midnight. Clear lots and lots of space on that TiVo, and then cancel those weekend plans.

Continuing its excursion into the later Apes movies, AMC is showing Battle For The Planet Of The Apes, at 9 AM.

Saturday

At 10:30 AM on Cartoon Network, there's a new Transformers: Animated, the first half of a two-parter called "A Bridge Too Close."

In his plan to take over Cybertron, Megatron captures Bulkhead. The Autobots plan a rescue party and discover that the Blue Racecar is actually an Autobot called Blurr.

And here's a chunk of the episode, complete with a funny Decepticon initiation ceremony:

Also, Encore has the underrated RoboCop 2 at 10:50, followed by Stargate, the movie that launched a huge TV franchise, at 1 PM and 10 PM. And Sci Fi is showing Resident Evil at 5 and Resident Evil: Apocalypse at 7.

Sunday

We'll never get Robert Rodriguez's version of Barbarella, but at least you can watch his movie The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lava Girl today at noon on the Disney Channel, and you can try and picture Rose McGowan in silver lame kinky boots in the middle of all that. Rodriguez collaborated with his kids to create this superhero fantasy, which is supposed to be one of the worst movies ever, but I've never seen it. Maybe it's only really in the bottom 20 percent.

There's another new Venture Bros. tonight at 11:30, called "What Goes Down, Must Come Up," but no other info is available. And then at midnight there's a new Metalocalypse, called "Dethsources." Those are both part of Cartoon Network's Adult Swim lineup.

The Middleman:

The biggest development of the week, without any doubt, is tonight's debut of The Middleman on ABC Family at 8 PM. It's the most anticipated superpowered show since Heroes. (Weirdly enough, it doesn't feature a webcam girl who sees her evil alter ego in the mirror — how did this ever get greenlit?) Instead, it's all about a straight-edge crime-fighter who drinks milk and battles outlandish foes including Chinese Terracotta warriors and Mexican luchadores. And his sidekick Wendy, who's an art student and office temp who becomes his equal in the saving-the-world biz. We couldn't possibly be more excited about this show, especially after watching some of its wacky Public Service Announcements. Here's a trailer:

Documentaries:

Once again, the biggest documentary of the week is another batch of When We Left Earth, the National Geographic Channel's sweeping look at NASA's history. (This time it's just two hours, not four.) The show features exclusive footage and insider accounts. It starts at 9 PM Sunday, and this week's installments include the Challenger disaster, the building of the International Space Station, and NASA fixing up the Hubble Space Telescope. Here's a clip:

Other big documentaries include Tuesday's rerun of The Universe on the possibility of space travel, on the History Channel at 8. At exactly the same time on PBS, Nova has a rerun of an episode about "Megavolcanoes," so take your pick — space exploration or Earth-bound disaster? And then on Wednesday at 9, History has a new MonsterQuest, about the "Ohio Grassman," who's like Bigfoot, only more likely to wind up in Cheech and Chong's bong. And finally, on Friday at 8, History has a new Modern Marvels, all about "Corpse Tech," which is what coroners and medical examiners use to solve crimes and save lives. Including a trip to the "body farm," where decomposing bodies are studied. Yum!

Fat Guy Stuck In Internet:

Tonight's the first 15-minute episode of Fat Guy Stuck In Internet, at 12:15 AM in the Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim" lineup. It's just what it sounds like, and we featured a clip from it last week. The first installment includes jokes on Tron and Star Wars.

Doctor Who:

Quite probably the best episode of this season of time-traveling action-soap-comedy Doctor Who airs on Friday at 9 PM. "Silence In The Library" is written by uber-scribe Steven Moffat, who's taking over as the show's head writer in 2010. Without giving away too much, it's a spooky slow burn that takes place in an abandoned planet-sized library, where death lurks literally behind every bookcase. And we meet someone who turns out to have great significance in the Doctor's life. Here's my spoiler-filled recap (I liked this episode better than the second half of the story, which airs next week) and here's the first nine minutes or so:

Also, if you need to catch up, Sci Fi is having a Doctor Who marathon all day Thursday. (And a Stargate: SG-1 marathon all day Wednesday, and a Jake 2.0 marathon during the day Friday.)

Charlie Jade:

There's a new episode of South African/Canadian alternate-universe noir show Charlie Jade on Sci Fi at 8 PM Friday. Charlie Jade tries to figure out how he traveled to an alternate universe (which is almost exactly like our universe) and the key seems to be a renegade Vexcor scientist — but 01 Boxer, the only person who can travel between universes without any help, also wants to find that scientist. Here's a clip:

Animation:

There's a new Transformers: Animated at 10:30 on the Cartoon Network. Honestly, this plot synopsis might as well be in Swahili for all the meaning I can derive from it. So for those of you who might understand it, here it is:

Optimus Prime teams up with Grimlock to get something for Blackarachnia when she springs Meltdown from prison in her latest attempt to get rid of her organic half.

And here's the first half of the episode:

There's also a new Venture Bros. as part of the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim lineup, on Sunday at 11:30 PM. It's called "My Dinner With Hatred," and not much is known about it, but fans are speculating it focuses on Sergeant Hatred. Says one viewer:

Promos show what appears to be Sargent Hatred's hover tank, and Brock beating up what appear to be Sargent Hatred's henchmen, my guess is that these are from this episode.

And then at midnight Sunday, there's a new Metalocalypse on the Cartoon Network. Here's the synopsis:

The guys visit bomb victims in a hospital and are targeted by a terrorist organization.

Random movies:

Sci Fi is showing The Man With The Screaming Brain at 3:00 AM tonight (or tomorrow morning depending on how you look at it.) It's Bruce Campbell doing what he does best, with one of his most outlandish plots. Sleep is totally overrated. And Earth Girls Are Easy is rocking Showtime tomorrow at 1:30 in the afternoon. You don't have anything else to do during the day, do you? It's Julie Brown! USA is showing a double feature of K-Pax (11:30) and Weird Science (2:00) Thursday during the day. Which movie is creepier? Which one will make you more likely to go on a bombing spree? TiVo them and let us know.

Finally, the Sci Fi Channel has a ton of movies next weekend, but the one I have to single out is Dinocroc, opening at 11 PM on Sunday. DINOCROC!! Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like, and it's produced by Roger Corman. It's better than Carnosaur, more powerful than Grizzly Rage, hungrier than Maneater, thingier than Man-Thing. Don't believe me? Watch this:

I'm trying a slightly different format here. Instead of doing it by days of the week, I'm grouping things into categories. The highlights of this week's TV are:

Hulk-mania. Your screen will be green this week, as television hypes this weekend's release of The Incredible Hulk with all its might. The Sci Fi Channel is showing marathons of the Hulk TV show all day, every day, this week (including right now.) And an exclusive three-minute Hulk clip (featuring Banner's transformation) will air during Sci Fi's new Ghost Hunters episode on Wednesday at 9. (Just how badly do you want to see a Hulk clip? In any case, I have a feeling it'll turn up on various blogs, including this one, pretty quickly.) Just to top things off, Sci Fi is showing Ang Lee's Hulk movie on Thursday at 9, just to get the mutant poodle cravings out of your system before you see the new poodle-free movie.

There's more! HBO has a "First Look" special about the Hulk on Wednesday evening at 9:30. Also, Hulk star Liv Tyler is on Jimmy Kimmel's Game Night primetime special on Thursday and Regis And Kelly on Friday. And Tim Roth is on the regular Jimmy Kimmel late night show Thursday night. (I sort of vaguely remember this movie had a male lead, but I can't remember his name. And anyway, he's not doing any appearances.)

Other movie promo. HBO has a "First Look" at Get Smart tonight at 8:30. And the stars of M. Night Shyamalan's doomed R-rated disaster movie The Happening are promoting it as hard as they can: Marky Mark is on Letterman tomorrow night, Regis and Kelly Wednesday daytime and Conan O'Brien Wednesday night. And Zooey Deschanel is on Letterman Wednesday.

Battlestar's season finale. I'm just putting it out there: Friday night's Battlestar Galactica is a season finale, since the second "half" of the season won't see the light of day until 2009 by all accounts. At least the finale has the promising title of "Revelations," and unless the promo is totally deceptive (like last week's promo) we actually see the four secret cylons "come out" about their status. But here, you can watch and judge for yourself. And then tune in on Sci Fi at 10 on Friday.

Doctor Who and the labors of Hercule. This week's Doctor Who (Friday on Sci Fi at 9) is the one where he meets Agatha Christie. It's quite similar, in a way, to the ones where he meets Charles Dickens and William Shakespeare. But that doesn't make it any less entertaining, and there are some nice treats, including a weird moment with a clergyman. Here's our recap of the episode, and here's a chunk of the episode itself:

More universe-hopping fun. And before Doctor Who and BSG, Sci Fi has the second episode of South African/Canadian universe-hopping show Charlie Jade at 8 PM. Charlie starts to realize he's not in his real universe when he comes to Cape Town instead of Cape City. And his apartment is derelict and trashed. Meanwhile, the evil Corporation chooses an agent to be their emissary to the other universes.

Awesome cartoons. Saturday at 10 AM is the season finale of Spectacular Spider-Man on The CW. "Nature Vs. Nurture" deals with the running black costume/Venom storyline. Eddie Brock has finally merged with the symbiote and only has one goal in mind — to destroy Spider-Man. Also at 10 AM Saturday, there's a new Ben 10: Alien Force on the Cartoon Network: "Cash and JT steal a gauntlet from Kevin's car and decide to use it against Ben, but an evil spirit within the glove possesses Cash instead."

And at 10:30 AM Saturday on Cartoon Network, there's a new Transformers: Animated, "Autoboot Camp." Bumblebee reminisces about his days in Autobot Academy (will there be hazing? Please tell me there's hazing!) and an Autobot cadet he met named Wasp. Bumblebee learns Wasp has been sprung from prison and decides to track him down. And here's most of the episode already, presumably from its early airing overseas.
Meanwhile, am I the only person who didn't know "Weird" Al Yankovic was doing voice work for this show?

Adult swim. More awesome cartoons air Sunday night as part of Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim" block. There's a new Venture Bros. at 11:30 PM, called "The Invisible Hand of Fate" — but I couldn't find an episode description anywhere. What do they have to hide?? Also, there's a new Metalocalypse at midnight, called "Dethrace." And here's the synopsis:

Murderface plans a racing event with support from Nathan and Pickles. Meanwhile, Skwisgaar and Toki try to get licenses.

Strain yourself again. In case you missed out on the awesomeness (well, it was sorta pretty) of A&E's remake of The Andromeda Strain, it's showing during the day on Friday, at 9 AM and 2 PM. It's got Bucky balls, and Benjamin Bratt, and mopey boys on mopeds. And Will from Will and Grace running through a biohazard zone getting shot at, and somehow not dying.

Superhero movies. In case you want to channel your inner superhero-hating Nashawaty, FX is showing a bunch of recent superhero movies. On Monday, it's X2: X-Men United and Fantastic Four, on Tuesday it's Fantastic Four and Batman Begins, and on Wednesday it's Batman Begins and Hellboy.

Random other movies. Here are some of the movies on TV this week: AMC is showing WarGames today, starting at 5 PM. On Tuesday morning at 3:15, TCM is showing the awesomely titled Don't Worry, We'll Think Of A Title, a 1966 movie about a bumbling incompetent who gets mistaken for a defecting Russian cosmonaut. I'm sold. On Wednesday at 10, AMC has Species, about Gandhi facing off with a sex-hungry alien hybrid. Sci Fi is showing The Thing on Thursday at 7, which overlaps with USA's 8:30 showing of Raiders Of The Lost Ark (in case you want to remember when Indy and Marion had chemistry). And on Friday morning at 3 AM, Sci Fi is showing Momentum, about government agents chasing telekinetics. Also on Friday, at 8 PM, AMC has Escape From New York, and USA has Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom at 8:30 PM. On Saturday, Sci Fi is showing disaster movies, with titles like Tornado Terror, all day.

Inspiring documentary. On Sunday night, The Discovery Channel has another four hours of its mega-documentary When We Left Earth, which cover everything from the Apollo 1 disaster to Skylab to the moon landing. It starts at 9 PM and goes on until 1 AM. Here's a trailer:

Scary documentaries. There's a new Mega Disasters, all about "Volcanic Winter," on the History Channel on Tuesday at 9. Could a super-volcano cover us in so much ash we'd be stuck in a deadly ice age? (And History has reruns of The Universe and UFO Files tonight.) And there's a new MonsterQuest, about ghosts, on Wednesday night at 9. If that's not daring and inquiring enough for you, the Discovery Channel has a new documentary on Wednesday called simply, Mars: Alive? (As in, is the whole planet actually sentient, and out to get us? One can only hope.) Actually, I think it's about the Phoenix lander.