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San Francisco, 11:24 AM
Sat Dec 19
24 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Jonn Jonn
    12/10/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    There's not a single orbital shot. Are you sure this is by Mr. Bay?
     Reply
    Jonn was starred Jonn was unstarred
    Image of Jonn Jonn
    12/10/09

    In reply to What If Moviemakers Swapped Franchises?
    Cons: Abrams' inability to not have a happy ending

    I like how people complain Joss Whedon has to make his characters miserable, and completely the opposite about Abrams.

    Christopher Nolan's GI Joe
    [words]

    I detect some subtext. Some repressed dislike. I'm not sure what it is, but...
     Reply
    Jonn was starred Jonn was unstarred
    Image of Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    Evil Tortie's Dad was watching this last night, he'd read about it somewhere. I'm all "what's this?" and he says "VS ad by Michael Bay" and I go "So there will be a 'splosion."

    He insists, no, no and then BOOM.

    Me: Told ya so. Michael Bay can't even do overpriced undies without a 'splosion.
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was starred Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    12/09/09

    @Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.: You know you're a hack when you have a cadre of gorgeous women in their underwear, and still need to add stupid action movie tropes to get your point across...
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of Jonn Jonn
    12/10/09

    @schrodingers-katana: What point would that be, exactly? That the women are hot, and you can buy their underwear? If you hadn't gotten that already, you failed a Spot check. The 'splosion was just for fun.
     Reply
    Jonn was starred Jonn was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    12/11/09

    @Jonn: Well, everyone knows that 'splosions are movie exclamation points. But so are boobies, so what you have here is a double exclamation point, and that is grammatically incorrect. I mean, that's just stupid!!
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of Jesse Astle Jesse Astle
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    Transformers 3: Rise of the Nipples.
     Reply
    Dirk Anger promoted this comment Jesse Astle was starred Jesse Astle was unstarred
    Image of oneshoej oneshoej
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    As a woman who hates the idea that women have to be scantily clad to be worth looking at, and who dislikes sexy lingerie in general, I actually found this less appalling than it could have been. Especially the most recent ad and the first few ads in the "retrospective" clip. I think it had something to do with the fact that the women are upright and walking in a relatively confident manner, rather than sprawled on beds or floors in the awkward, helpless poses that often pass for sexy. I also liked how they flashed the word "fantasy" a couple of times to remind people what these scenes really are. Part of the reason for my positive reaction may also have been that the explosions and airplanes and music were pushing my "ooh exciting action movie" buttons.

    So yeah -- if you imagine an ironic directorial wink in there (unlikely, I know), it's not bad as an homage to the sex-explosions-and-airplanes genre of action movie trailer.

    But if everyone wanted to just stop marketing and buying lingerie, that would be fine too.
     Reply
    CParis promoted this comment Chip Overclock approved this comment oneshoej was starred oneshoej was unstarred
    Image of CParis CParis
    12/09/09

    @oneshoej:
    Unfortunately, this ad is targetted to the menz - so that means we should expect to get a bunch of crappily made, ill-fitting scraps of cheap fabric in nice gift boxes under our Xmas trees.
    Thanks, guys!
     Reply
    CParis was starred CParis was unstarred
    Image of phoenix phoenix
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    What in the depths of hell - there was an explosion in that ad. AN EXPLOSION. IN A LINGERIE AD.

    I don't even blame Michael Bay for doing these - I mean, he does what he does, you don't hire Michael Bay expecting grace and elegance, you hire him expecting huge ass explosions and crappy fuzz-fade-in effects. But the marketing execs who thought this was a good idea? I have a couple of friends I'd like to introduce them to.
     Reply
    phoenix was starred phoenix was unstarred
    Image of Dr Emilio Lizardo Dr Emilio Lizardo
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    Bay doing what he does best - trailers.

    Honestly, if I were ever marketing a movie, I'd pay bay to make the trailer, then tell him to go away. Much as I hate the guy in general, it's the one thing he can do.
     Reply
    Dr Emilio Lizardo was starred Dr Emilio Lizardo was unstarred
    Image of IraeNicole IraeNicole
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    Ugh. What a horrible example of the male gaze in media. Failtastic.
     Reply
    IraeNicole was starred IraeNicole was unstarred
    Image of Jonn Jonn
    12/10/09

    @IraeNicole: I...you...what?! This is a Victoria's Secret ad1 What were you expecting; a thoughtful treatise on post-Dworkin feminism?
     Reply
    Jonn was starred Jonn was unstarred
    Image of KathrynKadaver KathrynKadaver
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    What's Michael Bay doing with the Iron Man soundtrack?
     Reply
    Dresan promoted this comment KathrynKadaver was starred KathrynKadaver was unstarred
    Image of Dresan Dresan
    12/08/09

    @KathrynKadaver: Awesome trailers?
     Reply
    Dresan was starred Dresan was unstarred
    Image of Chip Overclock Chip Overclock
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    I'm holding out for the Director's Cut on Blu-Ray.
     Reply
    Chip Overclock was starred Chip Overclock was unstarred
    Image of mrsatyre002 mrsatyre002
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    Fail.
     Reply
    IraeNicole promoted this comment mrsatyre002 was starred mrsatyre002 was unstarred
    Image of Bill-Lee Bill-Lee
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    Wow! Can you imagine the kind of letters Michael Bay must've written to Penthouse Forum? Dear Penthouse Forum: I swear this is all true. I was wandering through the Mojave Desert when a tall leggy fashion model appeared out of nowhere wearing nothing but her Victoria's Secret lingerie and high heel shoes. She told me they were on a break from a photo shoot and she was bored. Bored and horny. She was the only one who didn't drag her boyfriend along so she wandered off in search of a hard cock...
     Reply
    Bill-Lee was starred Bill-Lee was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    12/09/09

    @Bill-Lee: ....we made love so passionately that it caused a giant explosion! Thank God no one was hurt, but when the other models saw what happened, that was when the story REALLY started...
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard) CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard)
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    Every advert SHOULD be made by Mr Bay. Imagine the sales for things like Nurofen (heads exploding), bargin bin christmas socks (exploding), Washing powder (exploding then setting fire). Imagine...........a world full of Bay ads!!
     Reply
    CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard) was starred CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard) was unstarred
    Image of chronubis chronubis
    12/08/09

    @CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard): Just imagine Michael Bay's HeadOn!
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. promoted this comment chronubis was starred chronubis was unstarred
    Image of Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
    12/08/09

    @chronubis: APPLY 'SPLOSION DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was starred Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    12/09/09

    @CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard): "Hi, this is Vince, with Sham-Wow!" Japanese Yakuza bots burst onto the set, laser swords drawn.
    "Vince, you and your Sham-Wow have defied us for too long, now you both must die!" Vince leaps forward valiantly, but after felling a few Yak-bots he knows that even someone of his incredible fighting ability is outnumbered.
    "Sham-Wow, Transmorph to vehicle mode!" Vince yells before jumping in slow motion into the super-neato sports car. He presses the orange button in the center console as he begins peeling out, launching a series of explosives at his enemies to buy him some time. They go all explodey for like two minutes, lot's of slow-motion and secondary and tertiary explosions out of nowhere. And now, the chase scene begins....
     Reply
    Edited by schrodingers-katana at 12/09/09 11:36 AM schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of CParis CParis
    12/09/09

    @schrodingers-katana:

    Fox Studios wants to greenlight your ShamWow pic - it's got a weasely celebrity star, Asian villians, robots. 'splosions - but it's missing something...throw in some random boobs and $150million for CGI...

    Coming soon to a gigantaplex near you, the next Baytastic production -"Transformers 3: Revenge of the Dustbusters".
     Reply
    CParis was starred CParis was unstarred
    Image of CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard) CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard)
    12/09/09

    @schrodingers-katana: I really want to buy some Sham-Wow now........and a Yak-Bot!!!
     Reply
    CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard) was starred CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard) was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    12/09/09

    @CParis: Fuck. I just became Michael Bay through my reckless use of satire! Curse you, cruel fate, thy ironic machinations mock the principles by which I have tried to live a good and righteous life!
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    12/09/09

    @CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard): I am going to get right on designing the latter. The world needs this product more than it knows!
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of CParis CParis
    12/09/09

    @schrodingers-katana:
    Throw in some ginzu knives and I'll buy a Yak-Bot!
     Reply
    CParis was starred CParis was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    12/09/09

    @CParis: Deal.
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of CParis CParis
    12/09/09

    @Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.:
    Priceless!
     Reply
    CParis was starred CParis was unstarred
    Image of Anekanta - Go Play! Anekanta - Go Play!
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    I'll be in my bunk...
     Reply
    Anekanta - Go Play! was starred Anekanta - Go Play! was unstarred
    Image of HighNoon HighNoon
    12/08/09

    @Anekanta - killed by a cacodemon: Me too. I mean ... my bunk.

    Thanks for enabling my lingerie addiction, io9.
     Reply
    Anekanta - killed by a cacodemon promoted this comment HighNoon was starred HighNoon was unstarred
    Image of Kamen Rider Kamen Rider
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    Late afternoon look? CHECK. Lethal weapons? CHECK. Big explosions for no apparent reason? CHECK. Big boobs? CHECK. Yep, it's a Bay film.
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. promoted this comment Kamen Rider was starred Kamen Rider was unstarred
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