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San Francisco, 11:54 AM
Fri Dec 11
26 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Jonn Jonn
    12/10/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    There's not a single orbital shot. Are you sure this is by Mr. Bay?
     Reply
    Jonn was starred Jonn was unstarred
    Image of Jonn Jonn
    12/10/09

    In reply to What If Moviemakers Swapped Franchises?
    Cons: Abrams' inability to not have a happy ending

    I like how people complain Joss Whedon has to make his characters miserable, and completely the opposite about Abrams.

    Christopher Nolan's GI Joe
    [words]

    I detect some subtext. Some repressed dislike. I'm not sure what it is, but...
     Reply
    Jonn was starred Jonn was unstarred
    Image of Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    Evil Tortie's Dad was watching this last night, he'd read about it somewhere. I'm all "what's this?" and he says "VS ad by Michael Bay" and I go "So there will be a 'splosion."

    He insists, no, no and then BOOM.

    Me: Told ya so. Michael Bay can't even do overpriced undies without a 'splosion.
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was starred Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    12/09/09

    @Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.: You know you're a hack when you have a cadre of gorgeous women in their underwear, and still need to add stupid action movie tropes to get your point across...
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of Jonn Jonn
    12/10/09

    @schrodingers-katana: What point would that be, exactly? That the women are hot, and you can buy their underwear? If you hadn't gotten that already, you failed a Spot check. The 'splosion was just for fun.
     Reply
    Jonn was starred Jonn was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11:53 AM

    @Jonn: Well, everyone knows that 'splosions are movie exclamation points. But so are boobies, so what you have here is a double exclamation point, and that is grammatically incorrect. I mean, that's just stupid!!
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of phoenix phoenix
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    What in the depths of hell - there was an explosion in that ad. AN EXPLOSION. IN A LINGERIE AD.

    I don't even blame Michael Bay for doing these - I mean, he does what he does, you don't hire Michael Bay expecting grace and elegance, you hire him expecting huge ass explosions and crappy fuzz-fade-in effects. But the marketing execs who thought this was a good idea? I have a couple of friends I'd like to introduce them to.
     Reply
    phoenix was starred phoenix was unstarred
    Image of Dr Emilio Lizardo Dr Emilio Lizardo
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    Bay doing what he does best - trailers.

    Honestly, if I were ever marketing a movie, I'd pay bay to make the trailer, then tell him to go away. Much as I hate the guy in general, it's the one thing he can do.
     Reply
    Dr Emilio Lizardo was starred Dr Emilio Lizardo was unstarred
    Image of IraeNicole IraeNicole
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    Ugh. What a horrible example of the male gaze in media. Failtastic.
     Reply
    IraeNicole was starred IraeNicole was unstarred
    Image of Jonn Jonn
    12/10/09

    @IraeNicole: I...you...what?! This is a Victoria's Secret ad1 What were you expecting; a thoughtful treatise on post-Dworkin feminism?
     Reply
    Jonn was starred Jonn was unstarred
    Image of Chip Overclock Chip Overclock
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    I'm holding out for the Director's Cut on Blu-Ray.
     Reply
    Chip Overclock was starred Chip Overclock was unstarred
    Image of Bill-Lee Bill-Lee
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    Wow! Can you imagine the kind of letters Michael Bay must've written to Penthouse Forum? Dear Penthouse Forum: I swear this is all true. I was wandering through the Mojave Desert when a tall leggy fashion model appeared out of nowhere wearing nothing but her Victoria's Secret lingerie and high heel shoes. She told me they were on a break from a photo shoot and she was bored. Bored and horny. She was the only one who didn't drag her boyfriend along so she wandered off in search of a hard cock...
     Reply
    Bill-Lee was starred Bill-Lee was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    12/09/09

    @Bill-Lee: ....we made love so passionately that it caused a giant explosion! Thank God no one was hurt, but when the other models saw what happened, that was when the story REALLY started...
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard) CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard)
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    Every advert SHOULD be made by Mr Bay. Imagine the sales for things like Nurofen (heads exploding), bargin bin christmas socks (exploding), Washing powder (exploding then setting fire). Imagine...........a world full of Bay ads!!
     Reply
    CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard) was starred CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard) was unstarred
    Image of chronubis chronubis
    12/08/09

    @CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard): Just imagine Michael Bay's HeadOn!
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. promoted this comment chronubis was starred chronubis was unstarred
    Image of Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
    12/08/09

    @chronubis: APPLY 'SPLOSION DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was starred Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    12/09/09

    @CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard): "Hi, this is Vince, with Sham-Wow!" Japanese Yakuza bots burst onto the set, laser swords drawn.
    "Vince, you and your Sham-Wow have defied us for too long, now you both must die!" Vince leaps forward valiantly, but after felling a few Yak-bots he knows that even someone of his incredible fighting ability is outnumbered.
    "Sham-Wow, Transmorph to vehicle mode!" Vince yells before jumping in slow motion into the super-neato sports car. He presses the orange button in the center console as he begins peeling out, launching a series of explosives at his enemies to buy him some time. They go all explodey for like two minutes, lot's of slow-motion and secondary and tertiary explosions out of nowhere. And now, the chase scene begins....
     Reply
    Edited by schrodingers-katana at 12/09/09 11:36 AM schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of CParis CParis
    12/09/09

    @schrodingers-katana:

    Fox Studios wants to greenlight your ShamWow pic - it's got a weasely celebrity star, Asian villians, robots. 'splosions - but it's missing something...throw in some random boobs and $150million for CGI...

    Coming soon to a gigantaplex near you, the next Baytastic production -"Transformers 3: Revenge of the Dustbusters".
     Reply
    CParis was starred CParis was unstarred
    Image of CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard) CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard)
    12/09/09

    @schrodingers-katana: I really want to buy some Sham-Wow now........and a Yak-Bot!!!
     Reply
    CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard) was starred CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard) was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    12/09/09

    @CParis: Fuck. I just became Michael Bay through my reckless use of satire! Curse you, cruel fate, thy ironic machinations mock the principles by which I have tried to live a good and righteous life!
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    12/09/09

    @CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard): I am going to get right on designing the latter. The world needs this product more than it knows!
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of CParis CParis
    12/09/09

    @schrodingers-katana:
    Throw in some ginzu knives and I'll buy a Yak-Bot!
     Reply
    CParis was starred CParis was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    12/09/09

    @CParis: Deal.
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of CParis CParis
    12/09/09

    @Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.:
    Priceless!
     Reply
    CParis was starred CParis was unstarred
    Image of Anekanta - Go Play! Anekanta - Go Play!
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    I'll be in my bunk...
     Reply
    Anekanta - Go Play! was starred Anekanta - Go Play! was unstarred
    Image of HighNoon HighNoon
    12/08/09

    @Anekanta - killed by a cacodemon: Me too. I mean ... my bunk.

    Thanks for enabling my lingerie addiction, io9.
     Reply
    Anekanta - killed by a cacodemon promoted this comment HighNoon was starred HighNoon was unstarred
    Image of Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H. Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H.
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    I saw these ads on TV and said. I'll bet dollars to doughnuts this is Michael Bay. Glad to know I'm continuing my tradition of always being right and Mr. Bay is continuing his of always BEING AWESOME.
     Reply
    Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H. was starred Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    IT HAS KNIVES IN IT!!!
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of GayRobotsRUS GayRobotsRUS
    12/08/09

    @Pessimippopotamus: and explosions! It is made of epic win.
     Reply
    GayRobotsRUS was starred GayRobotsRUS was unstarred
    Image of warcroft warcroft
    12/08/09

    @GayRobotsRUS:
    And no plot!
    And girls with no purpose but for eye candy!

    Wow, Michael Bay was born to make lingerie commercials.
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. promoted this comment warcroft was starred warcroft was unstarred
    Image of MonkeyT MonkeyT
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    I can almost understand the 'all film is better with explosions' concept, but 'everybody wants to be watched by black helicopters'? Mr. Bay must have been a really creepy child.
     Reply
    MonkeyT was starred MonkeyT was unstarred
    Image of ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H. ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H.
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    I was expecting more explosions.
     Reply
    ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H. was starred ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of waytogeaux waytogeaux
    12/08/09

    @ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H.: Here are some more: Baysplosions!

    [video.adultswim.com]
     Reply
    ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H. promoted this comment waytogeaux was starred waytogeaux was unstarred
    Image of omgwtflolbbqbye omgwtflolbbqbye
    12/08/09

    In reply to A Victoria's Secret Ad By Michael Bay. Your Unmentionables Will Explode In 30 Seconds...
    Michael Bay should keep to directing commercials.

    And I don't mean that in a derisive way (I think). The guy made the "Aaron Burr" commercial for 'Got Milk' which is probably one of the best and memorable t.v. adverts ever created.

    As long as the story he has to tell isn't more complicated than "women in underwear are hot", "milk is good", or "FIOS is fast", he's pretty much a fucking genius.
     Reply
    Edited by omgwtflolbbqbye at 12/08/09 1:18 PM omgwtflolbbqbye was starred omgwtflolbbqbye was unstarred
    Image of tetracycloide tetracycloide
    12/08/09

    @omgwtflolbbqbye: to his credit he has yet to accept a feature length film script more complex than any of the above.

    also: MEHLLKK!!!
     Reply
    Edited by tetracycloide at 12/08/09 1:17 PM tetracycloide was starred tetracycloide was unstarred
    Image of Im_your_Huckleberry Im_your_Huckleberry
    12/08/09

    @tetracycloide: *slow clap*
    I couldn't say it any better than that.
     Reply
    Im_your_Huckleberry was starred Im_your_Huckleberry was unstarred
    Image of omgwtflolbbqbye omgwtflolbbqbye
    12/08/09

    Mercedes Advert (yes, Micheal Bay can do musicals)
     Reply
    omgwtflolbbqbye was starred omgwtflolbbqbye was unstarred
    Image of omgwtflolbbqbye omgwtflolbbqbye
    12/08/09

    Michael Bay sells pants.
     Reply
    omgwtflolbbqbye was starred omgwtflolbbqbye was unstarred
    Image of omgwtflolbbqbye omgwtflolbbqbye
    12/08/09

    Michael Bay sells Jeeps with NASA, and Benz through nostalgia (a way better period piece than Pearl Harbor)
     Reply
    omgwtflolbbqbye was starred omgwtflolbbqbye was unstarred
    Image of hdgotham hdgotham
    12/08/09

    @omgwtflolbbqbye: You've done it, you've made me realize there is something Bay did that I love.
    I'm sure you won't hold it against me that I must hate you now.
    *cries*
     Reply
    omgwtflolbbqbye promoted this comment hdgotham was starred hdgotham was unstarred
    Image of vinylrake vinylrake
    12/08/09

    @omgwtflolbbqbye: ok, i admit i kind of stopped watching commercial tv a year or so ago so i don't have anything really recent to compare this ad to, but you think that ad is "probably one of the best and memorable t.v. adverts ever created"?

    really? or is that your subtle sense of humor poking through?
     Reply
    omgwtflolbbqbye promoted this comment vinylrake was starred vinylrake was unstarred
    Image of omgwtflolbbqbye omgwtflolbbqbye
    12/08/09

    @vinylrake: Yea, I think it really is that good.

    The ad came out in 1993, jump-started the 'Got Milk' campaign that has defined the American Milk industry ever since and became a fixture of American pop culture.

    The advert itself is actually pretty damn good; it's short, funny, and memorable. Hell even if it was just meant to be a short film that he came up with not to advertise anthing but just to be funny, I would say it works very well.

    Anyways, how many other commercials as old as that one could you still assuredly post on a website and know that the majority of the folks will immediately remember it?
     Reply
    omgwtflolbbqbye was starred omgwtflolbbqbye was unstarred
    Image of vinylrake vinylrake
    12/08/09

    @omgwtflolbbqbye: How many ads from 14 years ago are as memorable? Where's the Beef? Don't hate me because I am beautiful? The Energizer Bunny? Bartyles and James? The 1984 Mac commercial? "This is your brain... this is your brain on drugs"? (the egg frying ad), The Mikey Life cereal ad (the 20 year later one)? "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up"? "Clap on, Clap off"? Cha-cha-cha-chia? "Time to make the donuts"?, "UNbenownst to the patrons of this restaurant, we've replaced their gourmet coffe with Folgers crystals..."?, The MeanJoeGreen superbowl ad with the little kid?, MIchael Jackson pepsi commercial?, the 1-800-COLLECT ad with the musclebuilders on the beach needing to make a phonecall but not having the right change?, the Blockbuster guinea pig and rabbit ad?, The polar bear xmas coca cola ad?, the first ad featuring the 3 bud-weis-er frogs?, The Diet coke ad where the female office workers all take their breaks at the same to ogle the sweaty male beefcake construction worker(s)?, Intel Pentium 4 ad with dancing spacesuited aliens?, the pepsi ad with the little curly haired girl who talked like the godfather? My balogna has a first name? ... can I stop now?
     Reply
    vinylrake was starred vinylrake was unstarred
    Image of omgwtflolbbqbye omgwtflolbbqbye
    12/08/09

    @vinylrake: Well yea those are also classics, but still a small sample of all the television adverts produced within the span of 15 years, so the Aaron Burr commercial is still in a pretty good and elite club.
     Reply
    Edited by omgwtflolbbqbye at 12/08/09 7:44 PM omgwtflolbbqbye was starred omgwtflolbbqbye was unstarred
    Image of Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
    12/08/09

    @omgwtflolbbqbye: Everyone I know, if they have occasion to mention Aaron Burr, still does it like they have a mouthful of peanut butter. AWON BWUH!
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was starred Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of vinylrake vinylrake
    12/09/09

    @omgwtflolbbqbye: maybe. i got the impression you thought the pnut butter ad was pretty unique for it's memorableness, the 20 or so I posted that are equally (or more) memorable are pretty much a tiny sample of a much larger pool so i don't see it as all that unique. So, it's a decent commercial - no argument there, probably even one of the best things Michael Bay has ever done (faint praise, I know) but it's hard for me to consider it one of the best ads ever created. Now maybe if it had some explosions and scantily clad women in it... or some scantily clad women exploding...
     Reply
    vinylrake was starred vinylrake was unstarred
    Image of NerD: Blattella NerD: Blattella
    12/09/09

    @omgwtflolbbqbye: I had no idea he did the "Aaron Burr" "Got Milk" ad.

    This makes me so sad. I loved that ad.
     Reply
    NerD: Blattella was starred NerD: Blattella was unstarred
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