Home Is The Cutest Vision Of Colonial Domination You'll Ever See 

In the new kids' animated movie Home, some unbearably cute aliens come to Earth and take our planet away from us, imprisoning the humans in, basically, reservations. And in the process, the movie manages to use cuteness to tell kind of a thoughtful story about imperialists who think of themselves as victims. Spoilers… » 3/27/15 10:16am Yesterday 10:16am

Insurgent Is Like Two Hours Of Someone Else's Terrible Therapy Session

There was always something ugly at the heart of the wish-fulfillment in the Divergent series — everybody except me is one dimensional, because I'm special! But where the first movie managed to turn this into a weirdly sweet adventure about trying fit in, the sequel just goes full-on narcissistic. And dreary. » 3/20/15 9:24am 3/20/15 9:24am

Cinderella Is An Insane Guilty Pleasure (But You Shouldn't Feel Guilty)

Has there ever been a movie as sugary as the live-action Cinderella? It's like stuffing your face with cake, until cake is all up inside your nostrils and you have a frosting-beard. And yet, this movie also has moments of actual emotion and believable characterization here and there, which make it surprisingly great. » 3/13/15 9:12am 3/13/15 9:12am

It Follows Proves That Horror Movies Don't Need To Be Dumb To Scare You

Most contemporary horror films underestimate the audience's intelligence, with jump scares and obvious "twists." But It Follows refuses to dumb anything down. Its story about a girl who becomes infected with a mysterious, relentless curse is smart and original — not to mention scary as hell. » 3/12/15 9:20am 3/12/15 9:20am

Parallels: a sci-fi movie begging to be a TV series

So I just watched Parallels, which Wikipedia actually lists as a TV show — which I damn well hope happens! The show unfortunately shares its name with other recent stuff, as well as some kind of software, but it just got released on Netflix if that helps anyone find it. I definitely recommend you do. » 3/08/15 11:09am 3/08/15 11:09am

Chappie Is The Cutest Robot Ever To Star In Such A Bad Movie

We wanted Chappie to be a good movie. We desperately wanted to get back on the Neill Blomkamp train. But sadly, Chappie is lost in the very questions it marvels itself for asking, with violence so over-the-top it would be laughable... if it wasn't so absurdly grotesque. However Chappie the robot itself, is great. » 3/06/15 10:30am 3/06/15 10:30am

Kingsman Has Some Of The Most Beautiful Violence In Movie History

If you care about action movies and want to see them rescued from the doldrums, then you owe it to yourself to see Kingsman: The Secret Service. This movie is psychotically violent, to the point where the violence practically shatters the fourth wall, and it shows what action movies can be, if they're willing to go… » 2/13/15 9:29am 2/13/15 9:29am

In Seventh Son, Julianne Moore's Shoulderpads Have Magic Dragon Powers

Seventh Son just does not give a flying dragon fuck. The latest in a long line of fantasy epics that include Season of the Witch, Jack the Giant Slayer and Hansel and Gretel, Witch Hunters, this movie knows exactly what it is. And Jeff Bridges and Julianne Moore know what kind of movie they're in. Spoilers ahead... » 2/06/15 12:21pm 2/06/15 12:21pm

Jupiter Ascending Is A Very Decadent Movie About Why Decadence Is Bad

Jupiter Ascending isn't just a mediocre film. It's also self-indulgent, and in love with its own excesses. It's like the sick love-child of Zardoz and Fifth Element. But what's really odd about Jupiter is that it wants to criticize opulence and selfishness, and yet it's a movie that thinks "more" is always "better." » 2/06/15 9:00am 2/06/15 9:00am

The Voices Wonders If Your Pet Could Talk, Would It Tell You To Kill?

One of the oddest films about mental illness to come along in awhile, this pitch black comedy from Marjane Satrapi (Persepolis) follows the downward spiral of Jerry (Ryan Reynolds), a fellow driven to violence by the voices in his head… which seem to be emanating from his pets. Some spoilers follow. » 2/05/15 9:00am 2/05/15 9:00am

Project Almanac Proves It's Possible For A Movie To Be TOO Self-Aware

Project Almanac, the "found footage" time travel movie in theaters today, is kinda cute. And some people have praised the self-aware way it references other, better time-travel films like Bill and Ted and Looper. But on reflection, that self-awareness isn't a strength, it's the reason Project Almanac falters. » 1/30/15 9:05am 1/30/15 9:05am

George Lucas Took A Spotify Playlist And Turned It Into A Fairy Musical

Strange Magic isn't a movie, it's more of an epiphany George Lucas had between laps in his Scrooge McDuck vault of money. "What if I bought the rights to every pop song ever and put them all in one movie? But what about a plot? Fuck it, I'll just make it anyway." That is the movie Strange Magic. » 1/23/15 9:00am 1/23/15 9:00am

Paddington's Journey To The 21st Century Shows How Cynical We've Gotten

The original Paddington stories have a certain fairytale quality. This bear just shows up in a London train station, with a tag that says "Please look after this bear," and a kindly family instantly takes him in. We apparently can no longer believe in such a simple story of generosity, judging from the new film. » 1/16/15 9:00am 1/16/15 9:00am