Kingsman Has Some Of The Most Beautiful Violence In Movie History

If you care about action movies and want to see them rescued from the doldrums, then you owe it to yourself to see Kingsman: The Secret Service. This movie is psychotically violent, to the point where the violence practically shatters the fourth wall, and it shows what action movies can be, if they're willing to go… » 2/13/15 9:29am 2/13/15 9:29am

In Seventh Son, Julianne Moore's Shoulderpads Have Magic Dragon Powers

Seventh Son just does not give a flying dragon fuck. The latest in a long line of fantasy epics that include Season of the Witch, Jack the Giant Slayer and Hansel and Gretel, Witch Hunters, this movie knows exactly what it is. And Jeff Bridges and Julianne Moore know what kind of movie they're in. Spoilers ahead... » 2/06/15 12:21pm 2/06/15 12:21pm

Jupiter Ascending Is A Very Decadent Movie About Why Decadence Is Bad

Jupiter Ascending isn't just a mediocre film. It's also self-indulgent, and in love with its own excesses. It's like the sick love-child of Zardoz and Fifth Element. But what's really odd about Jupiter is that it wants to criticize opulence and selfishness, and yet it's a movie that thinks "more" is always "better." » 2/06/15 9:00am 2/06/15 9:00am

The Voices Wonders If Your Pet Could Talk, Would It Tell You To Kill?

One of the oddest films about mental illness to come along in awhile, this pitch black comedy from Marjane Satrapi (Persepolis) follows the downward spiral of Jerry (Ryan Reynolds), a fellow driven to violence by the voices in his head… which seem to be emanating from his pets. Some spoilers follow. » 2/05/15 9:00am 2/05/15 9:00am

Project Almanac Proves It's Possible For A Movie To Be TOO Self-Aware

Project Almanac, the "found footage" time travel movie in theaters today, is kinda cute. And some people have praised the self-aware way it references other, better time-travel films like Bill and Ted and Looper. But on reflection, that self-awareness isn't a strength, it's the reason Project Almanac falters. » 1/30/15 9:05am 1/30/15 9:05am

George Lucas Took A Spotify Playlist And Turned It Into A Fairy Musical

Strange Magic isn't a movie, it's more of an epiphany George Lucas had between laps in his Scrooge McDuck vault of money. "What if I bought the rights to every pop song ever and put them all in one movie? But what about a plot? Fuck it, I'll just make it anyway." That is the movie Strange Magic. » 1/23/15 9:00am 1/23/15 9:00am

Paddington's Journey To The 21st Century Shows How Cynical We've Gotten

The original Paddington stories have a certain fairytale quality. This bear just shows up in a London train station, with a tag that says "Please look after this bear," and a kindly family instantly takes him in. We apparently can no longer believe in such a simple story of generosity, judging from the new film. » 1/16/15 9:00am 1/16/15 9:00am

Dinosaur 13 And The Story of Sue

Sue is the most famous Tyrannosaurus rex fossil in the world, marking a turning point in tension between commercial and academic collectors. The documentary Dinosaur 13 tells her story, but it misses out on so many intricate details that make the true story so much richer. Read on for the review. » 12/31/14 9:05pm 12/31/14 9:05pm

You're Better Off Sleeping Through Night At The Museum 3

Night at the Museum: The Secret of the Tomb begins within the Egyptian tomb of its title, but since this is the third Museum flick, there are precious few secrets left. The big reveal this time around is that the magic is wearing off — which seems a good metaphor for this joyless sequel, itself. Spoilers ahead... » 12/19/14 9:00am 12/19/14 9:00am

Everything They Said About Making Three Hobbit Movies Was True

Remember when Peter Jackson announced he was splitting J.R.R. Tolkien's slim volume The Hobbit into three movies? Even with Jackson's OCD attention to detail, that seemed too much — and the entire internet worried that it would be all bloat and no heart. Well, the internet was right, at least about the third movie. » 12/17/14 8:00am 12/17/14 8:00am

The Exodus Mystery: How Can a Movie Be So Wrong in So Many Ways?

This is one of those moments when a movie comes along that is so repugnant, and so bland, and so pretentious, that it's almost impossible to believe. And yet, like a voice from a burning bush, Exodus is an unbelievable event that will nevertheless lead thousands of people on a terrifying quest — to movie theaters. » 12/12/14 11:07am 12/12/14 11:07am

Don't Miss The Moody Vampire Western A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night

There's a lot that's unique about Ana Lily Amirpour's striking new film A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night. This will likely be cinema's only black-and-white feminist Western vampire movie, shot in a California ghost town but with all dialogue in Farsi ... unless Amirpour decides to make a sequel. » 12/05/14 8:00am 12/05/14 8:00am