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San Francisco, 3:15 AM
Tue Nov 24
25 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #moviereview more →

    There's No Intelligent Life on Planet 51

    New Moon, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Celibacy

    Turn Off Your Brain and Watch the World End in 2012

    "The Box" Contains A Conspiracy Wrapped In a Mystery Wrapped In 70s Retro

    Ewan McGregor Finally Made A Decent Star Wars Movie

    "The Fourth Kind" Is A Hoax

    Smarmy Writers and Battle Stags Defeat Gentlemen Broncos' Bad Hype

    Battlestar Galactica Movie Reveals The Cylons Never Actually Had A Plan

    Astro Boy: Subversive, Awesome Flying-Robot Action

    The Wild Things Don't Really Love You
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Makidian Makidian
    11/23/09

    In reply to New Moon, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Celibacy
    I think you are giving teenage girls way too much credit into seeing this movie for what it really is. My sister in law is 16 and she doesn't love this stupid shit because of anything you said. She loves it because she's sold on the fantasy premise, that it's the greatest love story ever told. And my wife's mother is even worse because she is a grown woman who feels the same way, she even went to see it by herself (not that that is always a bad thing, I went to see Riddick by myself but I was sick and all of my friends were at work) at night.

    I get the point of your review and my wife went to see it for the same reasons although she does enjoy the series on paper. I am going to watch it tonight so I can spew more hate at it.
     Reply
    Makidian was starred Makidian was unstarred
    Image of dsmeek36 dsmeek36
    11/23/09

    @Makidian: hahahaha! if there's one thing that concerns me about this woman i'm getting more than friendly with, it's the fact that she also thinks the Twilight series is the unbelievable romance -- the greatest love story ever told, while i was nearly retching through the movie and couldn't make it past 5-6 chapters in the book because it was written for 12 yr olds who've never kissed a boy.
     Reply
    Makidian promoted this comment dsmeek36 was starred dsmeek36 was unstarred
    Image of Makidian Makidian
    11/23/09

    @dsmeek36: I haven't read the books but I look over my wife's shoulder while she reads them every now and then and it's like a 12yr old wrote it for a 12yr old. The wife thinks it is great but certainly doesn't put the stock in it that most women are. It must just appeal as a love story to teenage girls and lonely older women in the 18-45 area, older than that is rare. IF the girl you are 'courting' is too into Twilight I would run away, but I am married so I know nothing about dating anymore.
     Reply
    Makidian was starred Makidian was unstarred
    Image of Byronotron Byronotron
    11/23/09

    @Makidian: exactly the same things they say about science fiction, which as we all know, are terrible terrible stereotypes and mistruths. i think it's just terrible because it's terrible.
     Reply
    Byronotron was starred Byronotron was unstarred
    Image of firstanointed firstanointed
    11/22/09

    In reply to New Moon, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Celibacy
    I'm not sure if you intended this review to send butts to the theater to see it, but I'm sold! In fact, I desperately need to see it now, just so I can see if it's as hysterical as your review. I will wait for the library DVD rental though, methinks.

    Just watch Bored McEmoface and Fangy McSpikeyhair run MILES from their roles when these films are done. LOL.
     Reply
    firstanointed was starred firstanointed was unstarred
    Image of MissBuckyC MissBuckyC
    11/23/09

    @firstanointed: I loved the first movie because it was so hilariously awkward and cheezy.
     Reply
    firstanointed promoted this comment MissBuckyC was starred MissBuckyC was unstarred
    Image of Makidian Makidian
    11/23/09

    @firstanointed: I don't think Pattinson or Stewart wanted to be as mainstream and successful as this thing has become, so we likely won't see them in big budget pics ever again (hopefully)
     Reply
    Makidian was starred Makidian was unstarred
    Image of Davio Davio
    11/22/09

    In reply to New Moon, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Celibacy
    Annalee, I'm sending you the biggest mental hug right now.
     Reply
    Davio was starred Davio was unstarred
    Image of NightMystic NightMystic
    11/21/09

    In reply to New Moon, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Celibacy
    Annalee, have you read the books?
     Reply
    NightMystic was starred NightMystic was unstarred
    Image of ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H. ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H.
    11/21/09

    In reply to New Moon, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Celibacy
    I'm absolutely sure that self-parody is in no way the reason why anyone likes these.
     Reply
    ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H. was starred ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of phiphax phiphax
    11/21/09

    @ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H.: i was thinking the same thing. teens watch this because they really are into the cheesyastic/lame parts (it there any other parts to this movies?) and the shirtless dudes. i doubt a 14/15/16 year old will get the jokes of the "self parody" moments (if there's any of it at all).
     Reply
    ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H. promoted this comment phiphax was starred phiphax was unstarred
    Image of MsFeasance MsFeasance
    11/21/09

    @ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H.: Actually, a good-sized group of my law school classmates went to the midnight premiere entirely for mockery purposes. Cleolinda Jones's recaps would not be nearly so popular if that demographic didn't exist.
     Reply
    Edited by MsFeasance at 11/21/09 7:58 PM MsFeasance was starred MsFeasance was unstarred
    Image of ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H. ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H.
    11/23/09

    @MsFeasance: I just doubt that those folks make up enough of a percentage to matter much in the overall audience. I like to mock these films as much, and probably more, than the next guy, but I'm sure as heck not gonna pay to see them, and most of the non-Twilight folks I know are in the same boat.
     Reply
    ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H. was starred ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of MargaretMoony MargaretMoony
    11/21/09

    In reply to There's No Intelligent Life on Planet 51
    Sad, I thought this could be cute/thoughtful. I'm probably going to see it anyway sometime, my Dad has a man-crush on The Rock.
     Reply
    MargaretMoony was starred MargaretMoony was unstarred
    Image of MargaretMoony MargaretMoony
    11/21/09

    In reply to New Moon, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Celibacy
    The worst part of watching the movie on opening night was when people would yell at me for laughing.
     Reply
    MargaretMoony was starred MargaretMoony was unstarred
    Image of jenrobe jenrobe
    11/21/09

    In reply to New Moon, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Celibacy
    "Sparkling vampire pubes". Thank you.
     Reply
    jenrobe was starred jenrobe was unstarred
    Image of Bill-Lee Bill-Lee
    11/20/09

    In reply to There's No Intelligent Life on Planet 51
    Don't worry, they'll fix it in post.
     Reply
    Bill-Lee was starred Bill-Lee was unstarred
    Image of Bill-Lee Bill-Lee
    11/20/09

    In reply to New Moon, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Celibacy
    I think the best criticism of Stephenie Meyer and Twilight comes from Stephen King who said, in part -- ""the real difference [between Rowling and Meyer] is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer, and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good." It says something when even Stephen King thinks you can't write worth a darn.
     Reply
    Bill-Lee was starred Bill-Lee was unstarred
    Image of Bootknife-Jackson Bootknife-Jackson
    11/21/09

    @Bill-Lee: It says something when even Stephen King thinks you can't write worth a darn.

    HA!
     Reply
    Bootknife-Jackson was starred Bootknife-Jackson was unstarred
    Image of TrueCrime TrueCrime
    11/21/09

    @Bootknife-Jackson: Hey! King may be pop, but he's not what I'd call a bad writer.

    That quote come from one of his EW columns?
     Reply
    TrueCrime was starred TrueCrime was unstarred
    Image of Bootknife-Jackson Bootknife-Jackson
    11/21/09

    @TrueCrime: i harbor no true hate of the man's works, i just am not turned on to his way of meandering narratives that don't really go anywhere, and then somewhere in the middle of the book, "oh, by the way, Billy can read the minds of horses...but it's really not important to the story..." and than 200 pages later, it ends. or rather, he runs out of paper...

    i will say this however, his non-fic work, "On Writing" is a personal favorite, and i absolutely love it.

    also, i can't fault him beyond my personal tastes, because he obviously has a huge audience, and has become very wealthy entertaining a lot of people. and we should all be so lucky.

    oh, as for the quote, i dunno, i was quoting Bill-Lee above me, you'd havta' ask him#calendar
     Reply
    Edited by Bootknife-Jackson at 11/21/09 8:24 PM Bootknife-Jackson was starred Bootknife-Jackson was unstarred
    Image of TrueCrime TrueCrime
    11/22/09

    @Bootknife-Jackson: I actually stopped reading his horror years ago, but I love his Dark Tower stuff, and I admire the man's discipline, the way he approaches writng.
     Reply
    TrueCrime was starred TrueCrime was unstarred
    Image of Bootknife-Jackson Bootknife-Jackson
    11/22/09

    @TrueCrime: absolutely, he is a machine! i've never read the Dark Tower stuff, but everyone and their mom is always telling me how great it is, i'll have to give it a try. any one of them better than the others? or is it a series that i need to read in order? #calendar
     Reply
    Bootknife-Jackson was starred Bootknife-Jackson was unstarred
    Image of Dirk Anger Dirk Anger
    11/22/09

    @Bootknife-Jackson: It's a series, you need to start with the first one
     Reply
    Dirk Anger was starred Dirk Anger was unstarred
    Image of Vulcan Has No Moon Vulcan Has No Moon
    11/20/09

    In reply to New Moon, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Celibacy
    "Critics say New Moon, Twi-hards suck"

    The reviews from Time and USA Today are especially piquant and probably the best thing about this ghastly, dull pap.
     Reply
    Edited by Vulcan Has No Moon at 11/20/09 8:07 PM Vulcan Has No Moon was starred Vulcan Has No Moon was unstarred
    Image of Heriloke Heriloke
    11/21/09

    @Vulcan Has No Moon: You'll make me think that such books and movies are actually worth reading and watching just because of the following reviews.
     Reply
    Vulcan Has No Moon promoted this comment Heriloke was starred Heriloke was unstarred
    Image of Vulcan Has No Moon Vulcan Has No Moon
    11/21/09

    @Heriloke: "As Edward, Pattinson is all pale passion and tortured restraint; his eyebrows, like muskrats determined to mate, hunch together in the middle of his sunken face..."

    More talent and work went into writing the reviews for this thing than the script. The general consensus on Jezebel is one should see this movie absolutely sh*t-faced or stoned with a large tub or popcorn and many snarky friends as it hysterically bad and this is the only way to make it bearable.
     Reply
    Vulcan Has No Moon was starred Vulcan Has No Moon was unstarred
    Image of Heriloke Heriloke
    11/21/09

    @Vulcan Has No Moon: I did Twilight with only the snarky friends, mostly female actually, and it was hilarious enough. But we watched it on a small screen at home... I simply couldn't go to a theater and 1) be seen actually buying tickets to a Twilight film, and 2) be seated next to Twitards without being sent to the psycho-ward of some jail before the ending of said movie for having murdered one or several of the aforementioned barmy kids.

    But safely tucked in my shawl and seated before my computer screen, I can enjoy far more wit and snarky spirit.
    The "mating muskrats" line threw me into a fit of mad giggles that had several people stop by and ask why I was snickering so loudly.
     Reply
    Heriloke was starred Heriloke was unstarred
    Image of Dresan Dresan
    11/20/09

    In reply to New Moon, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Celibacy
    So are you saying that the writer is trolling Twilight fans?

    Right in their movie?

    And she gets money for it??

    She's a genius!
     Reply
    Dresan was starred Dresan was unstarred
    Image of Ruthless, If you let me Ruthless, If you let me
    11/20/09

    In reply to New Moon, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Celibacy
    Annalee, you (and the other editors here) make me want to watch movies that I know I shouldn't watch. This is how much I enjoy your (and their) writing.
     Reply
    Ruthless, If you let me was starred Ruthless, If you let me was unstarred
    Image of KhaiJB KhaiJB
    11/20/09

    In reply to There's No Intelligent Life on Planet 51
    oh well I'll pick it outta the bargain bin at some point for study materials... (the 3D techniques)
     Reply
    KhaiJB was starred KhaiJB was unstarred
    Image of tetracycloide tetracycloide
    11/20/09

    @KhaiJB: don't look now but your duplicate accounts are showing.
     Reply
    tetracycloide was starred tetracycloide was unstarred
    Image of KhaiJB KhaiJB
    11/20/09

    @tetracycloide: erm I don't have any other accounts. what are you talking about??
     Reply
    KhaiJB was starred KhaiJB was unstarred
    Image of KhaiJB KhaiJB
    11/20/09

    @tetracycloide: oh great.. who is that?
     Reply
    KhaiJB was starred KhaiJB was unstarred
    Image of tetracycloide tetracycloide
    11/20/09

    @KhaiJB: i don't know but i think they're quite taken with you.
     Reply
    tetracycloide was starred tetracycloide was unstarred
    Image of KhaiJB KhaiJB
    11/20/09

    @tetracycloide: they could have bought me dinner first......
     Reply
    KhaiJB was starred KhaiJB was unstarred
    Image of Rasselas Rasselas
    11/20/09

    In reply to New Moon, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Celibacy
    A friend of mine is very fond of these books and the movies, in the guilty pleasure mode. I told her that, even if Twilight is ridiculous from time to time, dramatizing and allegorizing the desires of adolescent girls is a perfectly respectable artistic purpose, and a rather underacknowledged one, compared to the familiar novel/movie/opera about a middle-aged divorced man having sex with young women and ruminating about sunsets while flyfishing.
     Reply
    Rasselas was starred Rasselas was unstarred
    Image of Dr.Quatermass Dr.Quatermass
    11/20/09

    @Rasselas: I too have to talk myself out of bad habits.
     Reply
    Dr.Quatermass was starred Dr.Quatermass was unstarred
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