(Yes, the poll should only have had three options, but accidentally ended up with two extras, called Answer 4 and Answer 5, to the amusement of many. Oops.)

At time of writing, more people were voting to keep the term "nerd" alive for future generations than wanted it gone, but the comments showed that many people were, perhaps, uncertain as to what the definition of nerd actually is:

geeky_cylon: "See, my understanding of nerd was that it was a point of no return, someone who pretty much doesn't do anything cool at all. Your definition of 'nerd' sounds more like a 'geek' to me - a self-aware lover of nerd-like things, but someone who has fun with it and may do a few cool things here and there. Maybe my stance comes from where I grew up, who I grew up with, or what I watched over the years. Not sure."

sweetchuck: "I always thought of nerd as the smarter than average but socially comfortable end of the spectrum. Geek was a little more awkward, and more specialized (video games, trek, etc). Dork was where you didn't want to be - not necessarily smarter, definitely not social, and entrenched in his interests."

QuenbyKoliha: "A Nerd to me, has always been the pinnacle of Geek. A Geek isn't smart enough to be a Nerd, but they all share the same social paradigm (Gaming, Sci-Fi, Etc...) Nerds have a true genius, combined with drive... where as Geeks may or may not be "intelligent" - they just don't fit with 'pop culture' But, I'd have to say the description is way off. Nerds were, and always will be the most pretensous people of all! Not too sure it should be retired at all... Anyone famous was at least a Geek growing up. Band Geek, Theater Geek, Computer Geek they all be came our rock/movie stars and CEOs. They still do! There's still a lot of 'Stan Gables' out there! (And if you have to google that, you're a Geek, not a Nerd)"

Aristeia: "For me, nerd does imply greater than average intelligence (particularly in specific fields, like physics, math, computer science, etc.), but more importantly it means social awkwardness. A lack of affect, an inability to connect with people in a normal way. Nerds tend to speak and think literally, have little use for humor that isn't 'at their level,' and tend to assume they're the smartest person in the room. Such nerds often correct everyone else, even when the person was being facetious or ironic.

"Geeks also tend to be of greater than average intelligence, but their focus isn't necessarily on academics or being 'superior' - it's about a love of technology, music, games, w/e... it's about having passion for something(s) to such an extent that it borders on obsessive. But being a geek doesn't mean you have to be socially awkward. It's quite possible to be geeky but have lots of so-called 'normal' friends. Of course, some geeks are also nerds.

"Dork is usually an affectionate term (or insulting one, depending on who made the statement and against whom) which implies a sort of goofiness, off-kilter humor or awkwardness. Dork has nothing to do w/ intelligence or interests - it's about being that guy who's singing on the street just for fun. It's about making reaaallly corny jokes for the ironic laugh. Most people have dorky moments; pure dorks are rare, as far as i've seen.

"For me, i'm a geek who hangs w/ both hardcore geeks and fairly normal people, and i have my occasional dorky moments. But i am not a nerd. :P"

AsherCadmium: "You have it pretty much on the nose, here. Everyone seems to know the correct definition of nerd; it's someone who is very intelligent, but usually not so good in social situations. You may find a lot of people in this category land somewhere on the autistic spectrum. This is definitely not a bad thing, even Einstein is suspected to have been mildly autistic and everyone loves Einstein. It's just that considering the behaviors of mild autism it's easier to understand nerds. Their brains are very capable of storage and use of complex ideas and formulas, but when it comes to social interaction that seems normal for the rest of us they can be a bit flustered and awkward. They can definitely like that same things as geeks, but they approach it from a different and more methodical angle. Geek is what most of the io9 crowd falls into. We are usually a bit above the average intelligence range and more socially adept than our nerd friends (though this is DEFINITELY not always the case). Geeks love vintage video games because they are awesome and not because they are currently hip to say that you like. We debate things like Superman vs. Jean Grey or how the zombie apocalypse would pan out because we actually have sat and thought about this for hours and have a well-planned argument on hand. We have interests like techie gadgets, sci-fi novels or making steampunk accessories. We start working on Halloween costumes months in advance. We learn to play the Mario theme song on some random instrument. We just do this stuff because it's fun and it's what we like. The modern geek is comfortable in their own skin (for the most part) because it's not worth the trouble to fake that we love 'normal people' pursuits just so that we fit in. There are enough proud geeks in the world now that we fit in just fine. Dorks often mistake themselves for geeks, but any geek can spot the difference a mile away. Dorks are usually perfectly nice people, maybe a little more socially adept, definitely have the same capacity for intelligence as geeks, but they just don't have 'it'. They are funky artist-types, Halo or other mainstream X-Box playing frat boys and their 'let you take pictures of me flubbing my way through Guitar Hero in my underwear to post online' girlfriends, the store-bought Batman costume, the hipsters, the Hot Topic punks and so on. Dwight Schrute is their favorite character on 'The Office', but that's is as far as they go. When some hot actress is quoted in FHM saying that she likes video games then she is usually just a dork, or lying to boost her fanbase (unless she is the lovely Mila Kunis who we somehow managed to have on our team.) I don't want to say any group is better or worse. I don't think any of these words are insults anymore. If we took them away from the trash-talkers and made it our own then we don't have to worry about losing it to the marketing machine because it has no soul. If you invent a new word to call ourselves then we just have to hammer out all of these little details again, anyways. We aren't and never were rebels. Share the wealth and treat every class of people the same otherwise we become what had once tried to keep us down."

EaterofFood may have it most correctly:

In a lot of cases geek and nerd are interchangeable, at least as far as the general public is concerned. That said, what are we going to replace it with?

Wait, replace it? Not necessary, according to OW-Holmes:

We need to take back control of the "N-Word". Sure its been co-opted and nicely packaged by Hollywood. But just because bits and pieces have been monetized doesn't mean we the word has lost meaning. Saying you spent all night playing video games or that you were first in line for watchmen still has a negative connotation. I still cant talk about my team work experience playing TF2 during a job interview without being laughed at.

To paraphrase Paul Mooney, "Everyone wants to be a nerd, but no one wants to be a nerd."

HeartBurnKid, creepy morbid freak is pretty much over the whole idea of this conversation:

Hate to be the party pooper here, but this is pretty much "Trekkie/Trekker" on a larger scale. Nobody cares but us, and everybody else is going to keep using the terms interchangeably, and probably is going to use whichever term you dislike most to describe you.

NotArthurPDragon is similarly unimpressed:

Actually, this is a typical nerd response to having something considered "theirs" become successful so of course you have to turn on it...nerd.

It's best, in cases like these, to leave the last word to Lassus:

If I hear one more hot girl saying that she loves nerdy boys, I'm going to throw my 12-sided die at my plastic glasses sitting on my Atari 5200 case mod.

NO, YOU DON'T, ACTUALLY.

(That being said, I have none of those things. Call me.)

It's lost some of its specificity and force, and maybe it needs to retire with honor. What honor it has left.

When I learned what a nerd was, it was through Steven Levy's Hackers: Heroes of the Computer Revolution, along with Godel Escher Bach (aka the contents of a small town library) and (why be proud?) the movie Real Genius. Here's what it meant to me: intellectual play, lack of pretension, gaming, science fiction, being smart and not caring what other people thought. Nerds were people who questioned everything, who didn't accept anything until it was proven, who picked locks and repurposed lab equipment, who pursued their own passions for their own sake.

The category "nerd" overturned conventional ideas of cool, of attractiveness in both men and women, and of what it made sense to do on a Friday night. By valuing people who like cool stuff and don't care if gets them called a loser, it redefined what being a winner is. It gave me a way to value who I was and what I was doing.

So yes, I'm saying the category means something to me, which makes it all the more irritating that it's been re-branded out from under us. It's not just the mainstreaming of video games and superhero comics, it's that the whole identity is being reduced to a set of keywords, generational nostalgia and Internet trends that people can reflexively cheer for (monkeys are the next pirates are the next ninjas, pass it on).

People we once designated nerds are morphing into dot-com frat boys who play Halo and cheer for slave-Leia cosplayers at Comic-Con. In fact Comic-Con itself may once have been a refuge for an outsider nerd aesthetic, but in the year of Watchmen and something calling itself The Dark Knight it's starting to look like a smug victory lap.

Is it time to walk away? Most of what made the term meaningful was the will to be smart and quirky, and the corresponding moral courage to stand up and say so even when it wasn't cool. Without that, nerds are just another target market, a flag of convenience for random hipsters, and at worst, a marker of privilege, dot-com wealth and entitlement. Face it, nerd nostalgia has become an enormous cash-in, and I'd rather not subscribe to the banner under which the cultural identity I sweated for is now being monetized.

The good news is that there's always a place for lack of pretension, universal curiosity, skepticism and core techiness no matter where the rest of culture has gone. The qualities that made "nerd" a valuable term survive in all kinds of vital subcultures - open sourcers, makers, technologically driven activists, authors who are breaking down genre barriers. Nerdcore artists are fusing it with rap, punk, and whatever else they can get their hands on. Why do we need an identity marker that's lost its force and urgency, when we can coin new words, try new things, take risks, and leave the worn-down nostalgia behind?

io9ers, give me a cultural sounding. Am I out of touch here?

EDITOR'S NOTE: There were only supposed to be 3 choices in this poll, but a glitch in our polling software created the spurious "answer 4" and "answer 5." I was going to fix it, but now that the great 4 vs. 5 debate has begun I feel that I must allow the glitch to remain. - Annalee

Here are the crucial ingredients of nerd escapism — if they are ever gathered in one place, the world will IMPLODE:

1) I am the world's smarterest and clevererest. I can instinctively do base-108 fractal calculations in my head — in my sleep — and I know insane amounts about every subject. Like Roger Moore's James Bond, without the wattles. I don't have a piddling badge for mathematical excellence, I have a full-body cybernetic tattoo of scientific AWESOMEness.

2) There are mean girls, who harass me for being so clever, but then they get devolved into lemurs. Yes, like Captain Picard. Oh noes! It's up to me to find a way to restore them to normal, which I do... eventually.

3) I have a supercomputer, which runs on beer. Or wait, better yet, it's a bong, with special computon-laced leaves in it, and it also produces awesome "smart vapors." Supercomputer bong FTW! Oh, and I get eye-glowy levitatey superpowers when I masturbate.

4) The world gets totally screwed and roasted — sorry, world. It's necessary for kazillions of people to die in sentient mudslides (caused by an evil alliance between the Federal Reserve (which dabbled in the forbidden science of particle economics to try and create a more awesome M0) and scaly dung aliens) for everybody to recognize suddenly how special I am — for after the crisis, when the survivors are sporting rags and living in skyboxes, I will be the scrappy genius who keeps the last precious remnants of technology going. With the help of my supercomputer bong.

5) But — and here's where it gets good — those evil scaly aliens come back and kill almost everybody who's left. And it turns out I'm the only one who can stop them, because I'm secretly 2/3 alien on my mom's side. (Yes, my mom had three parents, and one of them was human.) So I have to go into space and become the world's greatest space pilot/engineer/pirate/ninja/cyborg, learning secret techniques with Marcy, my cute lemur "popular girl" sidekick, tagging along. (Okay, I never got around to curing them of being lemurs. What do you want?) I finally stop the whole alien armada by debating with their cyber-necro version of Alexander Hamilton until he explodes. But then instead of going back to Earth, I journey off to the stars, Marcy at my side, to find adventure and learn whether it's really true that I'm actually the heir to the throne of Builder City, a huge dyson sphere built around a whole star system where everything awesome in the galaxy is built.

Oh, so you don't like my nerd-power-trip-escapist fantasy? Well, screw you. I'm not going to save you from cyber-Alexander Hamilton and his money-supply adjusting sludge then.

Actually, because it's just barely possible that other people might have their own ideas, I asked a few people who were smarter than I am to contribute their own versions. I wrote to some cool people and asked, "What would the ultimate nerd escapist power-fantasy movie look like?" And here's what they said:

Jane Espenson, writer, Buffy/Firefly/Battlestar Galactica:

Hmm... Nerd wish-fulfillment *movie* — so it's not real, huh? I can't wish myself into being that groovy Romulan Commander who glommed onto Spock that one time? Hmm.

Well, I think Revenge of the Nerds already did a very good job with this. It wasn't about turning into a non-nerd, it was about celebrating the things nerds do well. So, something like that. Maybe another sequel, updated to address contemporary themes: Revenge of the Nerds Finds Ice on Mars or Revenge of the Nerds — Taking the White House? Actually, wait— nerds already dominate science and public policy. What everyone really wants is love. We need a nerd-meets-girl romance in which the nerd wins *because* he's smarter, more genuine and sweeter. The ultimate nerdy power fantasy is When Nerd Met Sally. Final answer.

Gerard Jones, author, Men Of Tomorrow and Killing Monsters, plus a zillion awesome comics:

For me the ultimate power would be to be able to emit a tachyonic web that could slip through the time barrier, capture precious objects from throughout the time stream, and bring them back to our era. Just imagine how we might enrich our culture and our knowledge of the past. Personally, I'd use it to pick up some the early Tarzan comics I don't have from when Jesse Marsh's art was still good. Especially the ones with the Lex Barker photocovers that go for, like, 30 bucks on eBay.

David Campbell, formerly of Daveslongbox and now of Live From ABC:

The ultimate nerd wish fullfilment movie? The Last Starfighter... but with tits. Instead of Robert Preston's ancient carcass, drop a Hot Alien Chick in there and you've upgraded to serious nerdvana.

Chris Sims with Chris' Invincible Super Blog:

In the Grim And Distant Future™ (because, you know, Bright and Cheery Futures rarely allow for antisocial malcontents to rise to power), humanity has evolved in terrifying ways! The human body is no longer as we know it, instead giving way to men whose forearms and thighs make up 90% of their body mass, trotting along on tiny feet that are often obscured by clouds of dust and pulling ammunition for their comically large handguns out of one of the many, many pouches that adorn their clothing. Women have it even worse, with faces that are unable to express any emotion other than seething lust, spines that feature right angles, and hair that moves of its own free will in defiance to any wind or gravity. The upshot of all this is that the works of comic book "artist" Rob Liefeld will be hailed as visionary works of genius that were unappreciated in his own time, and will be as sought after as the works of Picasso or Rembrandt today, a situation that gives rise to the ultimate—and most unlikely—nerd empowerment fantasy: That box of X-Force #1s you've got in the basement? It's actually going to be worth something.

Annalee: "So, if you had to get out of that Stormtrooper outfit really, really fast what would you start with?"
Stormtrooper: "My helmet!"
Annalee: "Okay, then... what next?"
Stormtrooper: "Uh... my chestpiece!"
Annalee: "Okay, but what if you had to go to the bathroom? Is there any way to get out of there?"
Stormtrooper: "No!"

We left him to his Nerds and heard him whimpering for mommy. Did the Stormtroopers use catheters or something?