<![CDATA[io9: oh god no]]> http://tags.lifehacker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/io9.com.png <![CDATA[io9: oh god no]]> http://io9.com/tag/ohgodno http://io9.com/tag/ohgodno <![CDATA[Horrible Butt-To-Face Human Centipede Pictures Released]]> Last weekend, we pointed out a new comedy from London's Fright Fest about a mad scientist who kidnaps some poor souls to create his own Human Centipede by sewing their heads and bums together. The pictures are out. [Quiet Earth]

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<![CDATA[Buffy Remake Without Joss? Whedonites Will Burn L.A. To The Ground First]]> Hollywood wants to remake the original Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie — but darker, with all new characters, and (most importantly) without Joss Whedon. Do they know who they're messing with?

According to The Hollywood Reporter:

Roy Lee and Doug Davison of Vertigo Entertainment are working with original movie director Fran Rubel Kuzui and her husband, Kaz Kuzui, on what is being labeled a remake or relaunch, but not a sequel or prequel.

This film would have no ties to the TV series, and characters like Angel, Xander, Willow or Spike would not appear. Rumors are the re-creators are looking for a darker alternate storyline, with a new slayer in today's times. Whedon, the writer of the original Buffy film and eventual producer, writer, director and caretaker of the entire Buffy franchise, hasn't even been approached about the remake. Says THR: "The producers do not rule out Whedon's involvement but have not yet reached out to him." Well they'd better get him on board, unless they want to make a movie that will unleash the deepest, most horrible backlash of all time.

With all the vampire media hype today, it's no wonder they want to strike while the staking is hot, but to remake Buffy, without Whedon? That just seems wrong, and pretty darn stupid. Granted, Kuzui was the executive producer of the Buffy TV series and Angel spin off, but it was always Whedon's baby. To make it without his involvement seems to be missing the point as to why people loved this franchise. It's all Whedon — his characters, voice, dialogue, story telling, quirks — the list goes on.

Back in 1998 Variety reported that Whedon was toying with the idea of a big budget Buffy film, and just this April Whedon was quoted telling the press that a Buffy movie was

"Not gonna happen," Whedon told reporters in Hollywood on Wednesday. "Not gonna happen. Until I gather the press and make a public announcement myself that it's going to happen, never believe anything."

Kuzui Enterprises owns the rights to the Buffy, script which she developed and got the funding for, from the then past writer of Roseanne Whedon, so this could all really happen, with or without him.

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<![CDATA[Reboot Fever May Help Spawn Return]]> With the success of Star Trek, The Dark Knight and even Casino Royale, movie audiences have shown that they're perfectly happy with a good reboot. So how will they feel about Spawn starting all over?

Spawn creator Todd McFarlane spilled the beans about his hoped-for reboot to MTV's Splash Page blog:

The thing I've had in my head for a long time isn't a big comic-book movie... Everything's real; it's like ‘The Departed,' ‘L.A. Confidential' or something like that - and there's only one thing out of the ordinary in the story I've written, which is the thing people know as Spawn. And only a few people see it.To me, it's more along the lines of ‘Jaws,' where you didn't see [the shark] for half the movie, and then you caught glimpses of him. 'Jaws was somewhat fantastic in that movie, and to keep it low-budget I can't have spaceships and super-villains and all that stuff.

Instead, what you'll see, apparently, is an undead guy in black clothes:

[Y]ou'll never see Spawn in his full regalia, because to me, he's more of a sentinel, like a living shadow. I've shown the artwork [to potential investors] and he's all black; he doesn't look exactly like what people have seen in the comic book.

Call me cynical, but this seems as if McFarlane has forgotten that all of Spawn's fans like the comic because of the art. Storywise, it's a generic mess of "Guy dies, comes back for revenge" with a time-limit built-in for cheap suspense. You lose the over-the-top visuals and try to make it "real," and you lose everything that made the character popular in the first place. But what do you think?

Todd McFarlane Reveals ‘Spawn' Reboot Details, New Character Costume [MTV Splash Page]

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<![CDATA[Disney Attempts To Merge Wall-E And Bolt In Pet Robots]]> What happens when war machines runaway from home and just want to have fun instead? That's one of the questions of former animator Scott Christian Sava's graphic novel, Pet Robots, which is now being made into a movie by Disney. That's right; soon we will all learn to find the military industrial complex both cute and lovable. And collectable!

Sava, who spent the 1990s as a special effects animator on shows like Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers before becoming a comic book writer and artist, published Pet Robots through his own Blue Dream Studios company this year; the story revolves around four kids getting lost in a toy factory and discovering four mysteriously militaristic robots that follow them home, only to themselves be followed by the nefarious toymaker, Vandenburger Meisterburger. And if that name doesn't give you an idea of the tone of the story, I'm not sure what will.

Disney taps scribe for 'Pet Robots' [Hollywood Reporter]

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