Pics from HK-TF, via Seibertron.

And then there's this magnificent, meta-nerdly beauty available on Chop Shop and designed by Dana Deskiewicz. Not only is the robot amazing, but its telling a web weenie joke. For those not in the know, there is a special file called robots.txt that you can put in the headers of a web page. If that file contains the words NOFOLLOW, search engines like Google are supposed to ignore the page and not make it available via search. It's basically a nice way of asking Google's robot web crawlers to leave your pages in privacy and peace. I wish I had a giant robot like this one to enforce privacy online! At least now I can wear it on my chest.

Optimus Prime Pepsi Thirst Convoy
Hey, remember that time that Optimus Prime got really drunk and signed that sponsorship deal with Pepsi...? Yeah, neither did he. Until the lawyers came to make him follow through on his end of the deal. The success of Transformers when they were first launched led to various "variant" versions of familiar toys - You could mail in cookie coupons to get a Jazz toy, for example, who was made much more acceptable to parent-conscious corporations by removing the Martini logos from his doors (This Prime, however, is much more recent; he's a Japanese toy from 2005, released in America in 2007). Us, we're still waiting on a Sony-branded Soundwave.

Lucky Draw Convoy
This ultra-rare - Reportedly, only 10 ever produced - Optimus Prime was the result of a contest to find a new color scheme for the Autobots' leader. Surprisingly, this actually won. Can you imagine what the others must've been like? The Lucky Draw Transformers - almost all of which were prizes in contests, hence the name - were mostly repainted versions of widely-available toys, released for the most part in Japan, and widely sought after by American collectors. It may help if you're color blind, of course.

Trainbot Raiden
Primus bless whoever thought that there was some dynamic potential in making a train turn into a giant robot, considering how dull modern trains look - well, unless they're Astrotrain - but the wonderfully-named Trainbot Raiden was six trains that combined together to make one giant robot, Voltron-style. Released in Japan in 1987, who wouldn't want one of these?

The Blue Bluestreak
No, it's not a particularly redundant-sounding Marvel superhero from the 1960s, but instead a version of the Bluestreak toy who is... well, blue. The generally-released toy was actually painted silver - and later releases of the toy had the character renamed Silverstreak - but because the original catalog featured a blue version (and the painting of the robot on the toy packaging, for that matter) was colored blue, an urban myth was born. Are there real Blue Bluestreaks? Potentially - but there are those who'll refuse to believe it.

The Red Slag
Much like Bluestreak, this is a differently-colored version from the toy that a generation knew and loved, but there's one significant difference: There's photographic proof that this one existed. Just like the Blue Bluestreak, this toy matches his box art coloring, but anyone in the US looking for one would have to look north - This was a Canadian-only release, for some unknown reason.

Fortress Maximus/Grand Maximus
Fortress Maximus - or Fort Max to his friends - was only the largest Transformer ever, but at the time, the most expensive. But did that matter to its intended audience? Of course not! Released towards the end of the line's popularity in the US, and with a detachable head (thanks to the still-confusing Headmasters gimmick), the toy has become hard to find in America, but not as hard as Grand Maximus, a repainted version of the toy sold in Japan as Fortress' more colorful brother, kind of like Ultra Magnus in reverse.

Action Masters Elite
Let's get this out the way right now: The Action Masters subset of the Transformers line? A completely bad idea. For those of you who don't remember the Action Masters, this is their gimmick: They were Transformers that didn't transform. You'd think that someone, somewhere at Hasbro might have realized that that wasn't the greatest gimmick for a toyline called "Transformers," and that might have been the reason behind the Action Master Elite line... who were Action Masters who did transform... or, to put it another way, Transformers. Sadly, the Action Masters were enough of a bad idea that they temporarily killed the franchise in the US, leading to the Elite toys never being released over here. So, if you find one of these cheap, treasure it... while also hating everything it stood for.

G1 Jetfire
To anyone who followed the Transformers comic book in the '80s, Jetfire had a special place in our hearts because he was created by Buster after Optimus left the creation matrix in his head. But even for non-comic nerds, Jetfire was special - For one thing, he wasn't really a Transformer, but a licensed Macross toy added to the line to meet demand for new characters by a panicked Hasbro, and for another, he had three forms, not just two... but the licensing deal didn't last, and so neither did the toy despite how cool it seemed. The one to look for is the initial Transformers release, complete with Macross markings as well as Autobot insignia.

The Dinobot Tapes
Yes, there were Autobot cassette Transformers. Even stranger, these Japan-only toys were also Dinobots and Combiners. Why did no-one ever tell me about these when I was a kid? I would've killed for these - and also for Blaster, the Autobot tape player that quickly became my Must Have toy when I learned of its existence as a kid (Note to Hasbro: if you have one just lying around, I can be bribed. Just saying).

Generation 1 Unicron
Called "the holy grail" for Transformers obsessives - as well as one of the ugliest toys never made by fans - this prototype for an unreleased toy of the villain from the 1986 animated movie tries its hardest to make a ball with limbs and a head look threatening, but still fails. Maybe if he'd actually have been able to sound like Orson Welles, it would've been better, but even then, I'm sure that would've just led to more fat jokes.

Research and additional reporting by Sarah Hope Williams.

1984-1992: Generation One
The original, and still the best. This is the incarnation that most people still think of when someone talks about Transformers - the one where giant robots turn into vehicles, dinosaurs, cassette tapes and all manner of other unassuming objects when they're not beating the crap out've each other. It's also the one that brought the world this classic piece of music:

1992-1995: Generation 2
Essentially a reboot of the original toyline with characters and figures based on the originals, but with details and colors changed to make them both safer and, theoretically, more toy-friendly. Theoretically, in the same continuity as the original G1 line, and notable for having advertisements demonstrating some truly basic CGI:


Somewhere, a young Michael Bay saw this and thought "One day... I'll do that. But better."

1996-1998: Beast Wars


A full-out reboot of the franchise (until they started bringing in G1 characters and concepts, but that was retconning the reboot, and things get muddy from that point on), with Autobots and Decepticons replaced by Maximals and Predacons, and Primal and Megatron replacing Optimus Prime and... um... Megatron as the main characters (Honestly, the two Megatrons are different characters). Unlike the majority of the original Transformers, these characters don't transform into vehicles or objects, but animals.

1999-2001: Beast Machines
A continuation of Beast Wars, but this time the Predacons are replaced by the Vehicons, as Megatron replaces his henchbots with... well, new henchbots, but these ones turn into (other) machines, instead of animals.

2001-2001: Robots In Disguise
A curious (and short-lived) mix of G1 and Beast Wars, this line set the Autobots versus the Predacons, who then created the Decepticons out of former Autobots because... Oh, I'm still not sure. All that you really need to know what that the animated series was as if someone had wanted to remake the original for the Pokemon audience, and was every bit as enjoyable as that sounds:

2002-2004: Armada/2004-2005: Energon/2005-2006: Cybertron (AKA: The Unicron Trilogy)


A four year line co-produced by Hasbro and Japanese manufacturer Takara, this revision of the franchise started with Armada hewing closely to G1 concepts, but with the added bonus that certain characters could essentially "power up" by partnering with a power-enhancing smaller robot called a "Mini-Con".


Energon took place 20 years after Armada, with Transformers settling on Earth (including building giant robot cities to live in) and having developed the ability to combine with each other to form even larger giant robots.


Cybertron followed from Energon, but only in America - The Japanese version of the line (called Galaxy Force) was another continuity reboot - and saw the Transformers travel the galaxy looking for "Cyber Planet Keys" that could... unlock a black hole and stop the destruction of Cyberton. Hey, I didn't come up with the idea.

2002- : Transformers Universe
Pretty much a re-release line from Hasbro, Universe has featured toys from every Transformers line repainted and reissued. Lacking a cartoon series of its own, the Universe continuity as such consists of a Collectors Club-only comic that explains that this incarnation sees Transformers from different times and different parallel earths brought together to defend a peaceful, post-Beast Machines-era Cybertron from the invading Unicron.

2007- : Movies
The Transformers go mainstream, thanks to Michael Bay. To all intents and purposes, the first movie is a revised version of the classic G1 continuity, right down to the use of "Whitwicky" as the surname of the human hero... just with added Bayhem. By the second movie, it's beginning to build its own mythology, and picking and choosing which era of toys to add to the mix.

2008-2009: Transformers Animated

Yet another reboot, and one that deages Optimus Prime (as much as one can de-age a robot) into something approaching a teenager, making him the leader of five Autobots stranded on Earth, fighting Decepticons and, oddly enough, human supervillains in a future Detroit.

And don't forget...
Alternators - A toyline where the robots turned into accurate cars licensed from real world car manufacturers.
Robot Masters - A Japanese toyline accompanying Energon and Cybertron, but set in G1 continuity.
Star Wars Transformers/Marvel Transformers/Disney Transformers - A toyline where robots turn into licensed characters or vehicles from other franchises.

Wonder what the Transformers origin has to do with G.I. Joe and the tallest, most hated man in comics? Whether or not Transformers are actually alive, and just why they have gender characteristics? Or maybe you just have trouble knowing your Beast Machines from your Robots In Disguise... We cover it all in this short Backgrounder, to make sure that you'll know everything you need to - and more - when watching Michael Bay's latest example of cybernetic bayhem:

Transformer Origins
They didn't really come from Cybertron, you know. Learn about the cross-continent (and cross-corporation) origins of the robots in disguise.

Know Your Transformer Generations
Being around for 25 years requires plenty of reinvention. Here's your guide to knowing which Transformer incarnation was the one you grew up with.

Those Transformer Questions You Were Afraid To Ask
How did Cybertron get built, anyway? Why did the Transformers come to Earth? And why does Spike Whitwicky have such a foul mouth? We give you the basics.

Why Are They On Earth?
Again, it depends on which version of the franchise you're asking about. In every version other than the movie, they're here by accident; the original characters crashlanded here in prehistoric times, an origin that has stayed (almost) intact ever since. According to the movie, however, they're here intentionally, tracking down the cosmic McGuffin the All Spark, which ended up here after Optimus Prime tossed it into space to make sure that Megatron would never get his hands on it.

Why Do They Transform?
Because that's the entire point of the toy. Duh. If you're looking for an in-story reason, it's so that the robots can go about their business of Trying To Take Over The World/Trying To Save The World/Trying To Defeat Their Enemy (delete as applicable) without getting noticed too much. In some incarnations, after the robots crash-landed on Earth, they were given the ability to transform by their damaged spacecraft, looking out for their needs apart from that whole "crashing on Earth" thing; in the movie, the origin of the robots' ability seems to be as part of the side-effect of being brought to life by the All Spark, although that does raise the question of what the Transformers were before they were giant robots.

How Does A Transformer Get Born, Anyway?
In all versions of the franchise other than the movies and Transformers: Animated, the Transformers were created by a being known as Primus, who distilled his life-force into something called the Matrix, which is used to bring a Transformer into life. In movie continuity, the Matrix and Primus are replaced by the All Spark, a cube of unknown origin that can turn any object into a living, transforming robot.

Do The Transformers Have Gender?
Apparently so, as the existence of Arcee (and a surprising number of others) proves. Quite why alien robots have gender was left unaddressed until IDW's 2008 Transformers Spotlight: Arcee comic, wherein it was revealed that a Transformers called Jhiaxus, the "Chief Theoretical Strategist" of all Transformers tasked with remaking and improving their race, had introduced gender as part of his experimentation.

Does The 1986 Cartoon Movie Really Have A Character Swear In It?

"Oh, shit, what're we gonna do now?" indeed.

Launched in 1980 by Japanese toy company Takara Toys, the Diaclone line was made up of robots that transformed into futuristic vehicles piloted by figures spun-off from their successful Microman line. The Microman line, imported into America by Mego as Micronauts, was in turn spun-off from a Takara line called Henshin Cyborg, which was itself spun-of from their Combat Joe line... which was made up from toys created from Hasbro's G.I. Joe line (See how it all comes together? Don't worry; Joe will pop up again later). In 1982, Takara expanded both the Microman and Diaclone lines by adding more transforming robots - except these new robots, branded Micro Change (for Microman) and Car Robots (for Diaclone), changed into more contemporary forms, like regular cars, planes and cassette players.

A year later, representatives from Hasbro attended the 1983 Tokyo Toy Fair. They were feeling good - their G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero line, launched a year earlier, was a big success, and they were looking for the next big thing. And, as soon as they saw Takara's Car Robots and Micro Change toys, they thought they'd found it. It wasn't as simple as all of that, however; for one thing, Hasbro didn't want to launch two separate lines onto the market at the same time, and so decided to consolidate the two together under the name Transformers. Having learned from their experience with G.I. Joe, they also knew that kids wanted a story to play along with, instead of just faceless toys, and so they decided to do exactly what they'd done before, and tell someone else to come up with one.

A little-known fact about the Transformers that we know and love: Their entire backstory was created by one of the most reviled men in the comic industry alongside the man who oversaw a phone vote to kill Robin the Boy Wonder. By 1983, Hasbro had built a close working relationship with Marvel Comics through their joint work on G.I. Joe, where Marvel editor Larry Hama was responsible for naming the characters and writing the backstory for each one (as well as the monthly Joe comic), so the toy company asked Marvel editor-in-chief Jim Shooter and editor Dennis O'Neil to come up with an entire Transformers universe prior to launching the toys, and they tried... only to see a lot of their ideas shot down by Hasbro as inappropriate. Frustrated, they gave the job to Bob Budiansky, whose revisions not only created Transformers canon, but also landed him the job of Transformers comic writer for years afterwards.

A huge success when launched in 1984, Transformers was almost too successful for Hasbro; to keep up with demand for new toys, they exhausted the Takara toys and started licensing figures from other companies, before finally coming up with original toys in 1986. While fading popularity led to the line being axed in the US in 1990, new Transformers were released internationally until 1993, when the entire line was relaunched internationally... and ever since then, they've remained in constant production under a variety of guises.

Looks like Optimus has undergone some upgrades over the years. Lookin' good.

[Myspace, SI Fans Of The Week and Geekologie]

Talking about the beginning of his role as the giant Autobot leader, Cullen said,

When I looked at the breakdown of Optimus Prime in the original show, it was a hero. My older brother, Larry, was my hero. He had returned from Vietnam. He was with the Marine Corps, and he saw some pretty heavy experience. It was his tone of voice and delivery as a leader, his control that impressed me, and I applied my brother's attitude to life to Optimus Prime. It just rang a bell, and I was cast in that part. I guess people somehow picked up on that. There's a calmness to Optimus Prime, and yet a gentility and strength and honor and dignity, that are synonymous with the Marines.

Suddenly the other armed forces are getting very jealous; don't worry, Navy - I've heard that Jazz is all about you guys.

Although he couldn't spill the plot of Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, Cullen did share that the bigger budget meant an increased role for him:

I only know the lines I've read, and I'm not allowed to disclose any of those. But the amount of success that 'Transformers' had on a financial level is providing a lot more screen time for Optimus Prime. It's very expensive to do all these robot characters because of the 10,000 moving parts. Thankfully we were a hit, so there's 'Transformers 2' and maybe 'Transformers 3.' I think 'Transformers 2' is going to be an incredible, incredible picture. I can see the excitement in the faces of the people involved, and it generates quite a bit of excitement in me too.

Heavy metal: Peter Cullen's voice powers 'Transformers [ReadingEagle]

As the creator of Dream In Pink, Shinju-chan, prepares to open up the site to other artists, she reflects on the entire world of Transformer Yaoi:

Contrary to what some people might believe, Transformers yaoi is NOT a new concept. I actually read and shared TF slash back in the mid-1980's while the original series was still yet on the air. The only reason why it seems so ‘fresh’ now is due to the fact we have the internet which offers far more greater exposure than localized fan groups swapping ideas and the mail-order fanzines of old. We also didn’t refer to it ‘yaoi’ back then either. As a matter of fact, I don’t believe we dubbed it anything at all —-other than robots being very gay.

Still, in all of slash-dom, there is no other show I can think of that seems to rival all the ‘taboo’ that surrounds Transformers related slash. If it’s not the irregular homophobic fans you’ll encounter who’ll argue that you are —quote— ‘Raping my childhood!’ and ‘How dare you do such a thing!’, you also have the other side of the fan community that are in fact into TF slashing, but have totally different ideas and separate opinions as to how those sexual acts are performed by giant mechs... Some fans feel that ‘sex’ among the robots is purely mechanical in it’s nature; attaching cables, buttons, and pushing keys. Some slash fans enjoy adding a more human-like element by having phalluses and such. Still yet, there’s another part of the Trans-slashdom who appreciate the ‘Transformers human’ concept that depict the robots in a human form (Such as based on the G1 Season 3 episode of ‘Only Human’) engaged in sexual acts. That part of the community has another fraction to it all of it’s very own that include Transformers involved in sexual acts with human beings! The majority of this concept seems to have it’s roots laid thick in Japan where the Transformer/Human idea is a very prevalent one. The KISS Alternators product line for instance.

Shinju is more of a classicist, however; her strip Confessions has a very simple plot: Optimus Prime beats Megatron in battle... and then rapes him. Apparently, the seemingly morally-upright leader of the Autobots really was more than meets the eye, after all.

[Dream In Pink]

According to Bay's website, we can expect to see even more fake news out there before the release of the movie next year:

Sorry everyone, everything you are reading (other than we are shooting in Philly) is false. We are going to give so much disinformation on this film to confuse everyone.

Of course, if he really wanted to piss off fans, he'd just kill Optimus Prime at the start of the next movie and replace him with Hot Rod and Ultra Magnus.

Bay tries to fool 'Transformers' fans [Digital Spy]