Here now for your consideration is "An In-Depth Analysis of a Piece of Shit," — a real research article published by real scientists in the latest issue of PLoS Neglected Tropical Diseases, a real, peer-reviewed scientific journal.

Back in December, authorities learned that Naegleria fowleri — a deadly, brain-eating amoeba, pictured here — was living in Louisiana tapwater, infecting its victims' grey matter by way of neti pot.

Hookworms are ghastly little creatures. Tiny, parasitic, and frighteningly invasive, these wriggling hell-spawn consistently rank among leading causes of morbidity in underdeveloped nations, abound in regions of the world suffering from poor sanitation, and have been described by various epidemiologists as "the American …