Best of Sporn: A Love Song [NSFW]

Annalee Newitz — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:42:29 PDT

Why does Spore, the new evolution game from EA/Maxis, give us hope for the future of humanity? Because the first thing everybody did with the "creature creator" editor was create a bunch of, shall we say, genitally-oriented organisms. Call it Sporn. EA is unlikely to let you share these creatures with other Spore players, and every time somebody posts footage of a new one on YouTube it gets taken down. That's why we've put together this happy music video, featuring the vocal stylings of Peaches' "Tent in Your Pants," celebrating the very best of Sporn. There are some things in here that even I can't identify. Ah, evolution.

Future People Will Have Nicer Wobbly Bits

charliejane — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 22:45:40 PDT

In just a thousand years, evolution will turn us all into supermodels, says British evolutionary psychologist and media whore Oliver Curry. That's because "sexual selection" naturally means that only people with the nicest faces and genitals get to produce babies — which anybody who's been to a baby shower will totally back up. Says Curry:

Human evolution will reach its peak in about the year 3000. By then, sexual selection will have bred men into tall, handsome studs with deep voices, square jaws and substantial penises. Their female counterparts will have smooth, hairless skin, glossy hair, large eyes and perky breasts, says Curry. But after that, it's all downhill.

Curry also claims within 100,000 years the human race will divide into two species, just like in The Time Machine. Over-reliance on technology will turn some humans into sensitive New Age wimps, while others will become dumb servants. It's just the sort of crap you should expect when the field of genetics is overrun by racist dickwads like James Watson. Image by high_me

Scientist: Human Race May Split In Two In Far Future [Fox News]

io9: penises

Best of Sporn: A Love Song [NSFW]

Future People Will Have Nicer Wobbly Bits