Who Will Be the First Gay Superhero in the Movies?

Your vaguely friendly, dilapidated neighborhood fake postman here before Fourthbay, which is the holiday I believe you used to call “The Fourth of July.” I vaguely recall hearing about how you guys celebrated it—grilling? Fireworks?—but nowadays we basically just strap explosives to meat. Cuts out the middleman.
» 7/02/15 12:55pm Thursday 12:55pm

We Have Our New Spider-Man—So Which Villain Will He Fight First?

Greetings, my pencil pals! Sorry about last week’s missing column; as it turns out I managed to catch a Mutant Deathvirus (mild infection) from the Radioactive Biker Crocodiles of Texas (air travel). I was basically unconscious all last week. But I’m up now, and rarin’ to answer some of your letters (earn my paycheck)! » 6/25/15 1:03pm 6/25/15 1:03pm

What’s Wrong With The Supergirl Trailer? Everything And Nothing.


Greetings my post-apocalyptic pen pals! Full disclosure: We have lost all pen technology in my dark future. However, I do know who the best supervillain on TV is, what Thanos’ evil plan in the MCU is, and more, so it all works out, more or less. Besides, we still have pencils, even if we mostly use them to stab tiny… » 5/21/15 12:42pm 5/21/15 12:42pm

Why Michael Bay Can Make Movies About Cartoons That Kids Can’t See

Greetings but no salutations, my friends! We have no time for salutations because we have important things to talk about! Why is Michael Bay allowed to turn TMNT into softcore porn? What the hell is happening to Sansa on Game of Thrones? And, most importantly, why do I hate Batman? (Answer: I’m secretly Egghead.) » 5/07/15 12:00pm 5/07/15 12:00pm

The Art Of Tricking Normal People Into Enjoying Nerdy Entertainment

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen! It’s another fine day here in my vague post-apocalypse, although any day I can sit and answer your mail instead of running from plague-ridden puppy-scorpions is all right in my book. Today we’re talking about the new Joker, why Daredevil can’t curse, Kryptonian sex taboos, and more! » 4/30/15 12:50pm 4/30/15 12:50pm

Can Superheroes Assert Legal Rights Without Revealing Their Identities?

Welcome to the All-New, All-Different Postal Apocalypse! It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before, unless you’ve actually read my silly little mail column before. I have a superhero legal question that is going to blow your mind — seriously! — followed by The Force Awakens, Batman V. Superman, Game of Thrones and… » 4/23/15 12:05pm 4/23/15 12:05pm

Did Yoda And Obi-Wan Screw Princess Leia Over?

Sorry to forego my usual introductory nonsense, but I wanted to let you know that today’s installment of “Postal Apocalypse” is one of my favorites. Partially because it asks why Batman doesn’t learn magic and if the Force is sexist, but also because it has the best damn Flash TV show idea I’ve ever seen. Seriously! » 4/15/15 10:00am 4/15/15 10:00am

​How To Make A Live-Action Robotech Movie Franchise The Right Way

Greetings, my fine, feathered something starting with "F"! Much like you guys in distant 2015, we celebrate April Fools' Day here in my post-apocalyptic future. Of course, nowadays "celebrate" means "murder anyone caught making crap up", but I'm pretty sure this tradition has its origin in your time... » 4/01/15 10:01am 4/01/15 10:01am

The Greatest Nerd Love Of All Is The One That Is Unrequited

Greetings, my mail-carrier carrion! Okay, that was a weird thing to call you. I absolutely promise I will not leave your corpses out to feed the horrifying scavengers — animal, human or mutant — that stalk this post-apocalyptic land. If it can be avoided. Hopefully. Look, I'll try. Let's just read some letters, okay? » 3/25/15 9:40am 3/25/15 9:40am

How Marvel And DC Ruined Reboots For Everybody, Especially Themselves

Hey, guys! Sorry I was absent last week. As I mentioned, I was being attacked by a giant mutant crab-wolf (wifi went out) and I couldn't read your letters (was snowed in and couldn't drive anywhere) because I, uh... couldn't open my mailbag? (metaphor breaks down) Ah well, I'm back now. Let the mail madness begin! » 2/25/15 9:25am 2/25/15 9:25am

It's The Special Spider-Man Postal Apocalypse Spectacular!

That's right, Monday's news that Sony would let Marvel Studios borrow Spider-Man for their Cinematic Universe in exchange for a wee bit of help making Spidey movies that don't suck, has taken the nerd-o-sphere by storm. You wrote so many letters I was forced to do make all-Spidey special edition of the mailbag. Thwip! » 2/11/15 9:00am 2/11/15 9:00am

Why Game Of Thrones TV Fans Should Be Happy The Books Have Run Out

Greetings, my beloved stamp-scavengers! Today I bring you a Hot Take on the lack of The Winds of Winter, why Bruce Wayne isn't worried about an heir, and how Star Wars would be different if Luke Skywalker had been a narc for the Empire. It's marginally more fun than being stung by a giant, irradiated scorpion! » 2/04/15 9:00am 2/04/15 9:00am

​The Pros And Cons Of Making Fantastic Four A Straight Scifi Film

Greetings, sports fans! No, wait. Hello, people who like getting in detailed conversations and arguments about nerdy minutiae! Today we're talking about the Fantasticness of certain Fours, how Time Lords handle Time Babies, and the best legal representation in Westeros. (Hint: It's a dude with a sword.) » 1/28/15 9:14am 1/28/15 9:14am