These movies are totally in the order that they popped into my head, dudes. You want me to put them in some kind of ranking? What? Can't you get a UNIX script to do that, or, like, somebody who isn't completely wasted?

Greatest Stoner Science Fiction Evar, In the Order That They Popped Into My Head, With a Few Reasons

2001
The spaceships are so cool and slow. Plus, there's like this baby thing, and a bunch of stars . . . seriously, what does it all mean? Are we one with the universe or is the universe like inside us?

Donnie Darko
Jake Gyllenhaal is totally cute, plus his name is spelled really weird. Also, there are like evil bunnies and mirror worlds and what is that giant black cloud? Seriously that cloud is freaking me out.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
Time travel plus George Carlin plus babes from the Middle Ages plus, uh . . .

Buckeroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension
OK so there are these aliens, right? And they are doing something that's really hard to figure out. But it doesn't matter because there's MUSIC and a really fast car going into a mountain and Jeff Goldblum looking smokin and geeky.

They Live
OK so there are these aliens, right? And they are controlling our minds! They are making us buy things we don't need! Luckily Rowdy Roddy Piper is there to TOTALLY KICK THEIR ASSES.

City of Lost Children
What the hell is going on here? Deformed people wreathed in smoke who are kidnapping kids. Luckily Hellboy is there to rescue them, but he's not wearing his Hellboy outfit. This is too scary for me.

Dark Crystal
Essence of gelfling!!!

Tamala 2010 Punk Rock Cat in Space
So she's an anime punk cat. In space. And she goes to another planet, where she meets gay aliens. WTF?

Predator
Dude! Arnie versus an invisible alien dude who is way cooler than Arnie and later turns into the awesome guy with dreads who vanquishes the aliens from Alien!

A Scanner Darkly
This is seriously trippy - there's like this cop, who is spying on drug dealers, but the drug dealers might actually be him, or maybe his friends. And there are all these people covered in bugs, plus a devious plot to spy on spies. And it's funny too.

The Matrix
Take the red pill! If you do, you can totally go to a rave and have sex in the sequel!

Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy
You haven't seen this yet? It's the kickass Canadian comedy troupe in a movie about a freaky new drug that is turning everybody into brainless pleasure-munchers. I can't even describe it. You have to see it!!!

Dune
It's about a teenager who takes drugs and becomes the master of the universe. Need I say more?

Grindhouse, pt II: Planet Terror
There's the chick with the gun for a leg, and then there's like alien goo zombies. Maybe not in that order.

Wizard of Oz, but with the sound off, but with Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon playing
A bunch of the older kids told me this would be really cool, but it seems kind of lame. Let's go see Crank High Voltage instead, dudes.

Crank High Voltage
In theaters now! Do not even attempt to see this movie without smoking a joint in the alley outside the theater first. Because there's a guy with a gun in his ass! And fucking on the racetrack! Jason Statham is the 21st Century Everyman, man.

The Wall
Oh man this is totally a freaky bummer except for the part where the flowers have sex - except whoa! even that is kind of a bummer.

Heavy Metal
Remember when Black Sabbath totally was awesome? That was five minutes ago, dude. When we were watching the scene with Black Sabbath's song "Mob Rules"? Oh yeah.

Speed Racer
Zoomy light! Cars upsidown! Crazy Vikings! Vroooooom!

Ghost in the Shell
A cyborg goes on a strange, incomprehensible journey that sheds light on the true meaning of selfhood. Seriously deep.

12 Monkeys
WHAT IS HAPPENING? Time travel, animal experimentation, assassination, dystopia, epidemic! Poor Bruce Willis. Can he ever escape the paradox of destiny?

Army of Darkness
Bruce Campbell fights an army of skeletons in the Dark Ages with one arm turned into a chainsaw. May I just say FUCK YEAH!

Brain Damage
A guy accidentally becomes attached to a penis-shaped parasite named Ayler who injects his brain with mega-heroin and sings show tunes and hides in his pants so he can eat the brains of hookers giving him a blow job. Seriously this is one of the most awesome movies ever made, but you can only appreciate it if you take a bong hit. So take one.

New research confirms that molecules found in pot called cannabanoids are powerful antibiotics. According to Environmental Graffiti:

Scientists studying cannabis related antibiotics were now able to pinpoint the basic backbone structure that is common to all cannabanoids, to be the active component in killing off bacteria. Now that the bio-active section of the cannabanoid molecules has been identified, researchers and drug makers are busy developing and testing antibiotic drugs as well as considering potential uses for cannabanoids in various soaps and cleaning products. At present they are focusing their efforts on the derivatives of the non-psychoactive cannabanoids. This is presumably because the US FDA, and other governing bodies world-wide, might have a hard time with people getting high in order to cure a bacterial infection.

But aren't people with really bad infections the ones who are most in need of a good high? I mean, think about it. When you're sick, you're usually so out of it that all you can do is sit on the couch and watch all the episodes of True Blood stored on your DVR. Wouldn't a nice buzz make that experience better in every possible way?

How Cannabis Could Save Your Life [via Environmental Graffiti]

According to the Wall Street Journal's Health Blog:

The American College of Physicians, 124,000 members strong, has issued a 13-page position paper asking the federal government to drop marijuana from its classification as a substance considered to have no medicinal value and a high chance of abuse . . . "They've said essentially that the federal government has it all wrong," Bruce Mirken, spokesman for the Marijuana Policy Project, [says].