The shaky cam, which finds its origins relatively recently, has become synonymous with mockumentaries and "realistic" approaches to fiction.

Movies that use the shaky camera technique strive for a realistic approach to better "connect" with the audience. Sure, in theory it's realistic. People move and so do our eyeballs. But our eyes are so well adapted that trying to replicate them is useless. No camera even comes close to capturing the details our eyes can.

The Good:

The beauty of film for me has always been seeing and picking up on things you wouldn't in everyday life. Shaky cams are agonizing because you miss as much as you get from a film. Most films that use the technique require atleast a rewatch or even a careful inspection of stills.

That being said, there do exist films which use the realism to their advantage.

District 9 used the shaky cam well, sparingly using the camera to "replicate" the human eye. When it did use the realistic technique, it wasn't distracting and actually added to the storyline.

The camera is not as shaky as in other films and even serves to enhance the viewing as it switches from a relatively still camera taking documentary statements to the 1980s-esque hand held shaky cam.

Even with these action-packed clips from D9, even with their more distracting movements, you don't miss any of the action.

Director Neill Blomkamp keeps the action front and center, never sacrificing the story for "authenticity." Perhaps that's why his shaky cam is less distracting, because Blomkamp seems to understand that while some movement is accepted by the human eye, too much loses viewers as they look away to readjust their eyes.

The recent reincarnation of Battlestar Galactica was critically hailed for it's inventive use of the shaky cam realism, featuring jumps and surprise zooms and using the camera as a translator of the action.

It was quick and fast and yet you never felt as though you missed any part of the important action scenes. Again, a careful juxtaposition of still and shaky shots combined to give us an easy, even pleasant to watch story. BSG and Firefly put shaky cam back on the map for inventiveness and District 9 is taking it even further by using it as an actual enhancement instead of an authenticity booster.

Too often filmmakers seem overly excited by the thought of realism and forget that some people want to watch a movie for the fiction of it all; but yes, the realistic shaky cam does have its advantages.

The Bad:

Remember when Paul Greengrass was set to direct Watchmen? It would have been an entirely different movie if the master of shaky cam action sequences had been at the helm of the greatest graphic novel film. Instead, he tackled the Bourne trilogy.

Greengrass's The Bourne Ultimatum is filled with shaky, "realistic" jumps and serves and zooms. And while, they're not always as bad as those in previously mentioned mockumentaries, there's still something lacking, there's still some action you're missing out on.

The film isn't half as distracting as Cloverfield, but it still never seems to stop moving. There's no break, no pause, very few still shots. With so much movement, you can assume Greengrass wants his audience involved in the action, engaged and invested with his hero. And yet, if I can't see the man I'm supposed to be supporting, how can I root for him?

Bourne is better at giving the audience a glance at the actual action, and yet there's still something missing. An improvement over the shaken more in post-production fests of above, but still not quite perfection. And the problem is that many have tried to imitate what didn't work even for Bourne and end up shelved in the Ugly section.

The Ugly:

The ugliest shaky cam abusers are those which have little regard for the actual film they're making and instead are more concerned with the look and visceral feel of the movie.

Mockumentaries have a terrible habit of using the shaky cam to its shakiest to make a scene scarier or more believable. Instead they merely make you angry you're missing what they're supposed to be documenting.

Ever watch an actual documentary? They don't shake half as much as these mocking films would have you believe.

Quarantine coupled the shaky cam with a terrible night vision green hue giving you not only jerky, hard to follow camera shots, but a sickly color throughout much of the film. Of course the camera was often not focused on the scary source of crazy sounds to build suspense and fear, but when it was focused on the action it wasn't even worth it.

Cloverfield is another mockumentary that relied on it's jerking camera shots to make it's realism wildly apparent.

In this clip, the camera is constantly tilted and always moving to remind us that this is "found footage" from a dig site and it was recorded by an regular human being instead of, say, a photographer with a steady hand.

Why eschew established filming techniques in an effort to ruin my experience? Cloverfield had one of the best premises for a monster movie in recent history, the story was engaging and mysterious and required a lot of imagination and extrapolation. It was inventive and steeped in the same lore than makes serials such as Lost work.

So why'd that get thrown out the window when it came time to film the movie? Director Matt Reeves constantly threw around the word "authenticity" when discussing the filming.

If this camera feature is supposed to be so authentic and realistic, how come I always feel like I'm missing so much of the action? Action movies are great; the adrenaline, the jumps, the fights. But with a shaky cam, I feel as though the movement detracts from the pivotal action. I want to see the bad guy getting his face kicked and during car chases; I want to see the car we're supposed to be chasing; I definitely want to see the monster I've been waiting for all movie.

So where do you draw the line; when does realism impede getting the shot?

I'm not discounting every use of shaky cam ever, simply asking for it to be used sparingly, especially with shows like Stargate Universe and the threat of movies like Cloverfield 2 and another Blair Witch on the horizon. Until filmmakers learn to keep us engaged and literally unable to look away, I vote for a moratorium on shaky cam use.

First of all, you'll want to begin with some plague classics: George Romero's 1973 plague-makes-you-a-murderin-freak flick The Crazies (soon to be a remake), or the 1971 version of I Am Legend called Omega Man, with Charlton Heston battling people whose disease makes them hippies in whiteface.

You might want to leaven your diet of plague with a couple of books: Kathleen Ann Goonan's nanopunk classic Queen City Jazz is about a nano-plague that converts people into zombie-esque creatures who are all obsessed with playing out the plot of Huckleberry Finn. You think I'm joking but I'm not. Goonan is a rewardingly weird writer, whose ideas will infect you and make you feel strange for days after. And of course you'll need to read Max Brooks' World War Z, a modern classic in the YAZPM genre. It's the first faux documentary novel about a zombie outbreak, told as a series of interviews with survivors.

Once you've digested those, you can move on to more recent YAZPM movies, starting with 28 Days Later. This flick is one of the best plague zombie movies of all time, full of grody goodness and exemplifying the "fast zombie" sub-sub-genre. If you want more ultra-violence and less plague, you can try The Signal, about an outbreak of murderous violence sparked by a maddening TV and mobile phone signal that scrambles people's perceptions. There is much limb-munching and occasional (intentional) humor. And if you need more YAZPM humor after that, you absolutely must see Zombie Strippers. It's got Jenna Jameson as a zombie, infecting all the guys who come to watch her strip — and a lot of the girls who work for her too.

And, obviously, check out REC, the Spanish YAZPM movie on which Quarantine is based. Its frenetic YouTube camera style is scary and intense.

Captain America:

Industry journal Production Weekly included a synopsis of Captain America: The First Avenger, which pretty much jibes with what we've heard a bunch before. (Grain of salt time: sometimes those production listings are just based on the comic book or other source material.) Here it is:

Born during the Great Depression, Steve Rogers grew up a frail youth in a poor family. Horrified by the newsreel footage of the Nazis in Europe,Rogers was inspired to enlist in the army. However, because of his frailty and sickness, he was rejected. Overhearing the boy's earnest plea,General Chester Phillips offered Rogers the opportunity to take part in a special experiment... Operation: Rebirth. After weeks of tests, Rogers was at last administered the Super-Solider Serum and bombarded by "vita-rays." Steve Rogers emerged from the treatment with a body as perfect as a body can be and still be human. Rogers was then put through an intensive physical and tactical training program. Three months later,he was given his first assignment as Captain America. Armed with his indestructible shield and battle savvy, Captain America has continued his war against evil both as a sentinel of liberty and as leader of the Avengers.

[Cinema Blend]

Quantum Of Solace:

For now we're reserving judgment on whether the new James Bond film is science fiction or not. And anyway, here's a fairly bizarre thing. New co-star Gemma Atherton gets killed by being smothered in crude oil, in a callback to Jill Masterson's death by gold paint in Goldfinger. Atherton plays an MI6 agent assigned to keep tabs on a renegade James Bond. Atherton says her character comes to "a sticky end." Ha ha. I would have gone for a "peak oil" joke, personally. [Daily Mail via Commander Bond]

Quarantine:

Here are even more pics from the Cloverfield/28 Days Later/Blindness mashup, which still don't show much of the zombie-ish plague victims. [Movie Spoilers]

Lost:

More Lost filming. Kate and a toddler Aaron were at the "Long Beach Harbor Club." And it sounds like Ben and all of the Oceanic Six, except Hurley, also showed up at some point. Sun is now driving a silver Jaguar S-class. This may come right after the scene where Ben, Jack and Sayid are at the medical center. [Hawaii Weblog]

Meanwhile, someone witnessed filming of a scene between Ben, Desmond and a woman. (Either Sun or Penny, but the source thinks it was Sun.) Ben and the woman are talking, and Desmond runs up and demands "What are you doing here?" (Looking at the photo, it certainly looks like Sun to me. But it's super blurry and hard to tell.) [Bolo-head Man via Doc Arzt]

Also, hints that when we discover Jin's fate in episode four or five, he may not actually be alive. And there's a rumor that another favorite character (Sawyer?) gets off the island. [Doc Arzt]

Doctor Who:

More reports that Patrick Stewart will show up on Doctor Who as the Meddling Monk, the cheeky Time Lord last seen in 1966. Apparently Stewart's schedule may not align for him to take the role until 2010. But it is sounding like a recurring role, and "the role is a belter," says one unnamed insider. Meanwhile, Tom Baker is still rumored to be back, as the Doctor or some other character. [The Sun and the Daily Star and Sky]

Meanwhile, Russell T. Davies says the Doctor might show up on the Sarah Jane Adventures, but not this season. And he says the scripts are a bit more complex in SJA season two, because the six-year-olds who watched it last year are seven, and more curious about the mythology. [Times Online]

Stargate:

Amanda Tapping is definitely going to be in the third SG-1 DVD movie, but may or may not be in the first Atlantis movie. [Gateworld]

Meanwhile, the penultimate episode, "Vegas," takes place in an alternate universe where John Sheppard became a homicide detective. He investigates a case involving a Wraith, who uses makeup to disguise himself as a human. The Wraith gets into a high-stakes poker game with Sopranos stars Steve Schirripa and Frank Vincent. Someone takes a nine-story fall, and there's a lot of scenes in and around the Planet Hollywood casino. [Gateworld]

Fringe:

Here are pictures and a description of episode six, "The Cure":

CURE FOR RARE DISEASE MAKES PATIENTS RADIOACTIVE ON “FRINGE” TUESDAY, OCTOBER 21, ON FOX. After weeks of being reported missing, a woman with a rare disease resurfaces in suburban Massachusetts and inexplicably causes excruciating pain and subsequent death to those she encounters. As the gruesome scene is investigated, dangerous levels of radiation are detected, and unusual circumstances surrounding the case point to illegal human drug trials and possibly something even more sinister. Meanwhile, Walter obsesses about cotton candy, Peter strikes a bargain with Nina Sharp and a startling piece of Olivia’s past is revealed.

[SpoilerTV]

Heroes:

On tonight's episode of Heroes, Future Peter tells Present Peter to use a potentially destructive ability to save the world. Then Present Peter meets Future Claire, who threatens him at gunpoint, and has a weird encounter with Future Sylar. Meanwhile, Mohinder is confused. I can't imagine why. Oh, and Hiro and Ando dig up Adam looking for info on who hired Daphne. [Ace Showbiz]

And here are some snazzy pics of Future Peter and Future Claire. They're snazzy! [Heroes Spoilers]

Life On Mars:

Here's the description of the third episode, "My Maharishi Is Bigger Than Your Maharishi," plus some pictures:

The murder of a returning Vietnam veteran has Lieutenant Hunt outraged, as he demands a quick resolution to what quickly becomes a complicated and controversial case. As Sam and the squad's team of detectives explore the circumstances surrounding the homicide, Tyler is sent down a mysterious path that may provide clues about his own family's past and why he is back in 1973.

[SpoilerTV]

Sarah Connor Chronicles:

In the Terminator show's eighth episode, "The Tower Is Tall But The Fall Is Short":

What would a T-1001 need with a doctor? Sarah, John and Cameron may soon find out as they track down another name on their list. Elsewhere, a woman from Derek's past surprises him in the present.

And here are some steamy pics of Kendra Shaw in bed with Brian Austin Green! [SpoilerTV]

Sanctuary:

Did you know that Dr. Helen Magnus "pushes the envelope of society and of science"? Well, now you do! [TV Guide]

Additional reporting by Katharine Duckett

Quarantine is released on October 10.

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen:

This set picture of the new Chevy Volt and Corvette near White Sands, NM is fueling more speculation that both cars are Autobots. Higher res pic at link. [Transformers 2 - Movie Chronicles]

Quarantine:

Here are some new stills from the U.S. remake of the Spanish film [Rec], about a reporter trapped in a quarantined building full of plague assholes. [Shocktillyoudrop]

Dollhouse:

Episode four, "Stage Fright," includes a scene where Echo and someone else arrive on a riverbank in the wilderness and unload some as-yet-unspecified stuff. That episode also includes Alison, an African American pop star along the lines of Alicia Keys, Rhianna or Beyonce. Plus an "eerily calm" nerdy fanboy who is physically imposing. And then there's Bill "Biz" Zarella, Alison's manager since she was twelve, and an occasional client of the Dollhouse. [Fox via Whedonesque and SpoilerTV]

Sarah Connor Chronicles:

New set pics reveal Sarah Connor with a weird new haircut, dressed like Prince circa 1985. She would die 4 u. [SpoilerTV]

Lost:

An informed source claims one of these characters will die in the first five episodes of the new season: Juliet, Rose, Sawyer, Miles, Charlotte, Penny, Richard and Frank. There's a poll at the link, but your vote doesn't affect the outcome. [SpoilersLost]

Also, the show is seeking an actress, aged 2-3 years old, who can speak Korean. Is this an older version of Ji Yeon? [SpoilersLost]

More details on location filming: that Jack/Kate street scene we featured a picture of yesterday involves Jack getting out of his truck and crossing the street to Kate's car. He kneels at the driver-side window, and they have a long conversation. Then Jack leaps to his feet and runs around, jumping in the passenger seat. She zooms off. Then they wind up nearby, on the 16th floor of a local building, possibly with Ben in attendance. And lo, there is video:

Also, that scene we showed another pic of, at the Marina Motel? Was also a Jack/Kate scene, a rainy one. And that big brick building may have been a location in London, featuring Desmond. [Hawaii Blog]

Meanwhile, here's a purported breakdown of that Ben/Penny/Desmond episode, which is the fourth or fifth episode of the season. As we start out, Penny and Desmond are living on the run, and Desmond wants a kid. But Penny isn't sure she wants to expose a little kid to their fugitive lifestyle. Then Penny finds out she's pregnant, and the doctor warns about incomprehensible abnormalities in Desmond's sperm.

Ben is hot on their trail, and Desmond buys a gun from a street dealer. Ben near catches Desmond a few times, and Desmond has to rescue Penny once. Ben is angry and adrift in the world. Then Ben travels to North Africa and finds a Dharma station located there. There, he finds Widmore's security chief, and tortures the man until he gives up Penny's current location, in Mati.

In Mati, Ben knocks out a cook at an oceanfront restaurant and poison's Penny's food. But when he finds out Penny is pregnant, he stops the waiter from delivering the food. But on Penny's boat, docked nearby, Penny is terrible pain and Desmond goes for a doctor. He sees Ben on his knees, weeping, in an alley.

Desmond brings the village doctor inside the boat, and the doctor is clueless about what's ailing Penny. He delivers her baby safely, but tells Desmond to rush the boat to a nearby coastal village. Desmond runs from the village and has some kind of crazy body spasms — is he time-traveling again? Are there segments of this episode where Desmond is in another time frame? [Spoilers Lost]

Heroes:

You know how the fourth chapter of Heroes is called "Fugitives"? It starts in episode 14, and here are our first clues, from a casting call. The show is looking for an Iranian paramedic named Malik, who is assigned to work with a "rather peculiar partner." (Peter, maybe? Or Matt?) And then there's Lauer, the superstar anchor of a major network, who has a high-profile interview with a politician. And finally, there's a four-to-six-year old kid, with brown hair, who's startled by a passing stranger as he rides his tricycle. (The kid may be a recurring role. Could it be one of our heroes as a youngster?) [Heroes Spoilers]

Also Greg Grunberg says he's recently filmed some desert scenes in an area filled with paintings of Matt's various actions throughout the course of Heroes. Despite being stranded in Africa, Matt will continue to co-parent Molly with Mohinder. But now that Mohinder is a Brundle-ized freakazoid, Matt and Mohinder may have some conflicts over parenting her. [Crave Online]

Smallville:

Here are a couple of promo pics from the upcoming episode "Instinct," including possibly the first look at the TV version of Maxima the mating-crazed alien queen. [Superman Homepage]

Alison Mack talked to the CW Source, and they talked about her possible romantic tension with Davis "Doomsday" Bloome. [CW Source]

In the upcoming fifth episode, "Committed," a psychotic jeweler kidnaps Chloe and Jimmy and subjects them to a Kryptonite-powered lie-detector test. Uh-huh. And to track down this psycho, Lois and Clark have to pose as a couple, which is when they have their moment of almost-but-not-quite kissing. Lois plays it to the hilt, but Clark feels uncomfortable. [Smallville spoilers and E! Online]

What are Doomsday's powers? Allow Sam Witwer to explain:

Very simple — he’s indestructible. He’s just the toughest guy ever. I was having dinner with Frank Darabont and some friends and he leans over to me and goes, ‘how do you kill Superman’? I said, ‘look, you just beat the hell out of him.’ That’s what Doomsday does in the comic books, he beats the hell out of him until he stops breathing.

[Sam Witwer Fans]

And here's Erica Durance's appearance on Attack Of The Show. [Smallville Spoilers]

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

More toy-show spoilers. That silver Corvette is actually Sideswipe. Also, Ravage is in the movie and has a very "raw beast mode." Woo. And those toys will merge to become a "Supreme-sized figure," along the lines of Devastator. Also, Megatron does indeed have a tank as his alt-mode, and Optimus has a new transformation. [TFW2005]

City Of Ember:

In one scene, pipeworks laborer Doon Harrow fights a mechanical contraption that his inventor father has built, and it's totally real looking and just as you'd imagine it from the book. [Sci Fi Wire]

Dragonball:

The character Roshi is much like the manga version — except that he's not a sex pervert, because this is a family film. Also, that set pic we posted a few months ago is an actual volcano, where Goku must rescue one of the seven Dragonballs. [DB The Movie]

Quarantine:

The lowbrow version of Blindness put out a new TV spot. Seriously, I'm kind of excited to see this 28 Days After Cloverfield mash-up. [Shocktillyoudrop]

Battlestar Galactica:

That loose-lipped Aaron Douglas spilled yet more details about the tail end of Battlestar Galactica, on a podcast and in an interview with SFX magazine. He told SFX:

The four that were revealed at the end of season three are what they are, but they're one-offs. They're the original Cylons. Hundreds of thousands of years ago, when there were 13 colonies on Kobol, 12 went that way and one went that way to found Earth — or create an Earth — and that colony was actually Cylons. They're individuals, there's no multiple models. The seven that we know are a different kind of Cylon that came much later. They're probably ten, 20 years old, born out of the metal machines that fought back in the Cylon wars of the 12 colonies. So they're essentially like the gods. And we were on the new Earth, and destroyed that and came back to the 12 colonies to rejoin humanity to find the cycle of time.

Why do we create a world and destroy ourselves? Why does humanity do that? And why do we as Cylons follow that path to humanity? So we sort of turned off the Cylon part of us and went and joined the humans. They don't know we're Cylons, and we didn't know until we started getting closer to Earth — that's when we started hearing that music at the end of the last season and get woken up to the fact that we are.

My head? Now spinning.

Douglas told the podcast that Earth is "the Cylon homeworld." The humans find skeletons and stuff, and they're all Cylon skeletons.

Also, when you see the last episode of BSG, you won't ever want to see the show again. Because the ending is that perfect. [Cort And Fatboy and SFX via Battlestar Blog and Aaron Douglas Fans]

Knight Rider:

Speaking of Battlestar, Billy actor Paul Campbell uttered the only words that might convince you to try Knight Rider: "Torchwood crossover." In the show's Halloween episode, Campbell's character (also named Billy) shows up dressed as Captain Jack Harkness — but nobody in the KITT cave recognizes him. Finally, Billy's love interest Zoe says Billy is dressed as "that gay time traveler," and Billy has to correct her: "No, he's bisexual." And then someone suggests Billy dress up as Billy from Battlestar Galactica. And Billy retorts that he's nothing like that other Billy. [Sci Fi Wire]

Meanwhile, here's an interview with the show's producer. It' s hard to imagine that someone has actually put a lot of thought into this show's mythology and the development of artificial intelligence on the show, but apparently they have. [Buddy TV]

Fringe:

Sometimes Fringe will be a horror show, sometimes it'll be a cop show, sometimes it'll be like a thriller. [Slashfilm]

Lost:

The show was filming downtown with "intense traffic control," and both Jack and Kate were involved. Jack's truck was parked on one side of the street, and Kate's Volvo on the other. Looking at this set photo, I'm wondering if that policeman is part of the traffic control, or part of the scene? More pics at links. [Doc Arzt and SpoilersLost]

Meanwhile, sources say the Desmond/Penny episode won't have any flashbacks or -forwards. Desmond and Penny have been on the run for a while, and they're having a baby. They move every few months, and right now they're in a city called Mati. Ben is hot on their trail, and he tortures someone from the Widmore group. Also, there are a handful of Dharma stations all over the world, not just on the island. [SpoilersLost]

In the first episode, we'll either learn that the island moved forward in time, backward in time, or to another location on the planet. Or we'll learn that it didn't move, but Dharma tech is keeping it hidden. One of those four. (I think it's almost definitely backward in time.) [EW]

Also, the crew was filming two different other outdoor shots, one at a large brick building and one at the Marina Motel. Here are some pics. [Ryan's Flickr via SpoilersLost]

Heroes:

Here are four scenes from next week's episode of Heroes, "One Of Us, One Of Them." [Heroes News And Spoilers]

Smallville:

Brainiac is back. In the November sweeps two-parter (episodes 10 and 11) Brainiac starts taking over Chloe's body on the heels of her marriage to Jimmy. By episode 11, he's totally in charge of her. And then things get freaky. Or brainy, I guess. [EW]

Eleventh Hour:

There's no guarantee that the zany scientist and his hard-boiled agent partner will get together, or even have any sexual tension. But Marley Shelton says her character's sexuality will be explored, and it may be "aggressive." (Translation: Please watch our show.) [Sci Fi Wire]

Stargate Atlantis:

Here's the synopsis for SGA episode 5x11, "The Lost Tribe":

Rodney and Daniel activate an Ancient weapon before determining its threat to active stargates; Todd's group continues to hold the Daedalus crew captive.

Sarah Connor Chronicles:

The Terminator TV show is looking for actors to play a paraplegic college student, who's handsome and smart, and they want an actor who's really paraplegic. This is for episode 12. [SpoilerTV]

Additional reporting by Lauren Davis.

Quarantine hits theaters October 11 and promises shaky cam action as a news crew following crew of firemen end up quarantined inside an infected apartment building.

[ DVD Forum via Shock Till You Drop]

The Quarantine maze sounds like your standard haunted maze, but it would be really cool if they lent everyone a little handicam so they could record their experience. Alien Annihilation, on the other hand, is 3D laser tag where you KILL ALIENS.

The game strands you in a "deep space" mining vessel where you've crashed landed and come upon an alien infestation. It's just you and your laser gun smack dab in the middle of an alien war. Sounds incredible. As someone who is deathly afraid of theme park rides, I would totally go to kill aliens with lasers.

[Knotts Berry Farm]

1. We have been located in a backwater part of the galactic rim.
To keep Earth inhabitants away from the rest of the universe community, our planet was stuck way out in the boondocks at the rim of a second-rate galaxy. Obviously only a higher alien intelligence could have done this, to prevent humans from leaking out everywhere and finding all the cool shit in the universe.

2. Space debris is a shield to keep us from hearing alien broadcasts.
You've heard that there are thousands of pieces of space junk orbiting Earth, posing a danger to orbiting spacecraft and creating a haze of garbage around the planet. Recently the Chinese government created infinitely more space trash by shooting one of its satellites, scattering its shattered body into orbit. What could be the possible reason for leaving all this junk in orbit, instead of cleaning it up? Obviously, our governments are using the junk as a deflection shield to prevent alien messages and craft from getting through. And this suits the aliens just fine, since they're quarantining us anyway.

3. Space-based weapons prevent aliens from wanting to bond with us.
According to Alfred Webre, a Canadian futurist and author of the recent book Exopolitics:

Star Wars and the militarization of space is part of the information war against the integration with Universe society. Star Wars is an "inside code word" for this war among the military planners. The issue is whether our space technology will be in accord with Universal principles, or controlled by a military empire. The USA will ultimately suffer ignominious defeat by Universe society should it persist as a space military power.

Well, that pretty much covers it.

4. JPL scientists who are in on the quarantine efforts helped perpetuate the myths that were reported in Wired about how we could "never achieve interstellar travel."
Why don't they want us to believe in interstellar travel? Why? These are space scientists, dammit — doesn't it strike you as odd that they are saying we shouldn't go to space?

5. NASA's launch of a suborbital rocket fails.
Today NASA launched a suborbital rocket, but had to shoot it out of the sky due to alleged "launch failure." Really? Could this actually be an effort to discourage suborbital rockets, which might break through the space debris and catch sight of the Universe society? As one blogger points out, NASA already knows about aliens. Thus, they're the perfect organization to make it seem as if there were "problems" on a rocket that was about to run into alien vessels.

6. Large Hadron Collider.
Seriously — need we say more? Any alien civilization worth its salt would know that when we start beaming subatomic particles through that giant, Swiss magnetic loop that the Terrible Events are about to begin. Stay the hell away from Earth when that happens.

7. Project Bluebook closed.
In the 1950s and 60s, the Air Force created Project Bluebook, an investigative project to figure out what all those UFOs were. Despite the fact that people continue to see UFOs every day, the project was shut down in 1969. Why? Was that the year that the government learned about the Quarantine and decided to pull the wool over our eyes?

8. Twelve missions to Mars failed en route to the planet.
Sure we have some satellites orbiting Mars now, and three robots on the surface doing measurements. But they're only in the quarantined areas. Whenever a satellite or spacecraft has tried to go near certain off-limits parts of the planet, they've mysteriously disappeared. Traces of them are never found again, even by the satellites that are supposedly photographing the planet in such minute detail that they can see this hunk of ice.

9. Global warming makes planet more comfortable for everybody.
Little-discussed fact about global warming: It will make all the least-inhabitable regions of the planet into a tropical paradise. Climate change is basically a massive, multinational conspiracy to get everyone so comfy on Earth that they never want to go to ultra-cold Mars or the even colder reaches of deep space. It's good when people believe they actually CHOSE to be quarantined, isn't it?

10. Fly Me to the Moon
This movie about flies stowing away on a moon rocket was actually a government-sponsored plot to make traveling offworld seem so awful that nobody would ever want to do it again.

In the face of such compelling evidence, you cannot deny the TRUTH. Somebody — or something — doesn't want us to leave the planet. We're being . . . quarantined!!!

Based on a popular Spanish horror film, Quarantine looks like it's loaded with stir-crazy residents willing to face a hail of government gun fire over being stuck in a building with a vampire virus. While the fake reporter video could get old, I'm always excited for a virus that changes the human form and most importantly doesn't omit kids or animals from its infectious path. Did you see the creepy half-naked vampire kid? Shudders. Quarantine will be out October 17, 2008.

The overt homage to Blair Witch Project throws up a red flag for me, not because Blair Witch wasn't fun, but just because I'm tired of watching scared chicks breathe heavily into a camera while barely-seen boogies hover menacingly off-screen. What excites me about the premise is the idea that this film is really about the failings of Homeland Security, which has left disaster victims to die in their homes enough times recently to spawn a whole season of horror movies. And while the idea of vampirism as an exotic disease isn't new, the vampire herself is genuinely scary. When Halloween month comes, I'll be lining up for this one.

In the meantime, we can all watch the original, called [Rec]. The U.S. version is written by Jaume Balagueró, the same guy who wrote and directed the Spanish version.

• In the live-action version of the Hanna-Barbera cartoon Jonny Quest, Jonny's dad creates a super-weapon that destroys everything but living matter, leaving armies helpless and maybe naked. But a supervillain wants to use this weapon to awaken a mystical world-destroying doodad, and it's up to Jonny and his bodyguard "Race" Bannon to stop him, with the help of a stereotypical Indian kid. [IESB]
• Rumor has it The Flash, the movie about the DC Comics superhero directed by David Dobkin (Wedding Crashers) will feature Jay Garrick, the original 1940s version of the character. Garrick wears a big metal bowl on his head and shuns a mask, instead vibrating his face so nobody can recognize him. No, really. [Production Charts]
• A woman's father tries to take over her brain, in director Stuart Gordon's adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft's novel The Thing On The Doorstep. And when she has sex with her shrink, she passes the dad-brain problem on to him. [Bloody Disgusting]
• Super Capers, due out next fall, is a zero-budget movie about a wannabe superhero. Ed Gruberman is thrilled when a judge orders him to live in a superhero "halfway house," but then the judge turns out to be a supervillain who killed Ed's parents, and is also Ed's real dad. [FreeCastingCall]
• The unlucky reporter in Quarantine isn't just barracaded inside a building full of people with mega-rabies. The cops also cut off cell phone reception, Internet access and television within the building, which seems like overkill. [ProductionCharts]
• British soap star Sarah Lancaster will provoke sonic screwdriver envy when she brandishes her own version of the Doctor's favorite toy in Doctor Who season four. [Sky Showbiz]

• The Cloverfield monster attack lasts at least seven hours. Someone named Beth gets hurt and is trapped in her apartment, and her friends have to go back for her. And someone says they have the choice between dying indoors, dying in the tunnels or dying in the streets, according to new TV spots. [ProjectCloverfield]
• Arnold Schwarzenegger's model of Terminator hasn't been invented yet during the scrapping-with-Skynet days covered in Terminator 4, nor will there be any time travel. But both might pop up in T5 and (god forbid) T6. [CinemaBlend]
• Glimpse the backstory of teleporting outlaw movie Jumper, including Samuel L. Jackson's Paladin character, by reading the first 20 pages of the prequel graphic novel. [Comic Book Resources]
• Oceanic Airways, the fictional airline in Lost, quit flying after Flight 815 crashed but has started up again, according to a dollop of viral marketing. [ComingSoon]
• Quarantine's reporter trapped in a sealed-off building will have more problems to deal with than just rabies-infected mobs. [Shocktillyoudrop]
• The Justice League will be portrayed as Greek gods, or possibly will actually be Greek gods, in George Miller's new movie. It's not clear. [CHUD]
• Get Your Mad Max on by watching a behind-the-scenes clip of the Death Race remake, featuring a "Dreadnaught," half oil truck, half tank. [BloodyDisgusting]
• We'll see a younger version of John Connor in a flashback, plus a Russian thug and a ballerina, in upcoming eps of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. [Terminatorsite]

February's Jumper is a Heroes-y movie from Doug Liman (Bourne Identity). Teenager David Rice tries to flee his abusive father — and then discovers he can teleport himself anywhere, instantly. As an adult (played by Hayden Christensen), David is reunited with his long-lost mother, only to see her killed. So he uses his teleporting power to search for the man he believes is responsible for the death of his mother, while dodging CIA recruiters. His Neo-esque posturing draws the attention of an NSA agent (Samuel L. Jackson) who's also a member of the ancient sect of Paladins, dedicated to wiping out teleporters like Christensen. He also meets another Jumper (Jamie Bell) who's been fighting the Paladins since he was a kid. Rachel Bilson plays Christensen's girlfriend, who learns the truth about his teleporting abilities, and becomes a hostage in the Jumper-Paladin battle. Liman says "there is no villain" in Jumper, because everyone is right in his/her own way. Here's a new still from the movie:

June's Incredible Hulk sticks much closer to the original comic than the 2003 Ang Lee version. According to the movie's official site and other sources, Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) works at a bottling plant in Brazil while he searches for the cure to the gamma radiation that turned him into the Hulk. But then General "Thunderbolt" Ross (William Hurt) tracks him down and a battle ensues. Banner runs back up to New York and meets up with his wife, Ross' daughter Betty (Liv Tyler, and here's a pic). Also in NYC, Banner meets his super-psychiatrist, Doc Samson. The Hulk's origin is "spooled out" throughout the movie, as the characters try to learn more about what caused him to exist. And there are plenty of big splosions (see video.) Trying to find a way to beat the Hulk, General Ross doses a soldier/KGB spy named Emily Blonsky (Tim Roth) with a serum that turns him into another monster, even stronger than the Hulk. Blonsky is stuck as a monster and wants revenge on General Ross. Banner finally does find a cure for being the Hulk, but has to turn back into the Hulk anyway, to stop the Abomination's rampage. TV's Hulk, Lou Ferrigno, will have a cameo. Here's a new peek at the Norton Hulk:

U.S. audiences will see a much shorter version of August's Babylon A.D. than Europeans. In the near future, society has broken down and competing cults and militias hold sway. Refugees are "doing anything" to escape the poverty and death of Europe and Asia. A veteran-turned-mercenary named Toorop (Vin Diesel) is hired to bring a young woman named Marie (Melanie Thierry) from Russia to China, accompanied by a nun (Michelle Yeoh). But then another organization offers him even more money for the girl, and Toorop realizes there's more to Marie than meets the eye. It turns out the girl is carrying a virus that will allow humans to alter their own DNA and "create new levels of consciousness." (She's also schizophrenic.) So all sorts of criminals and fanatics want to get their hands on the girl, including a sect that wants to use the virus to create its new messiah. Diesel has to use all his mercenary skills to get the "package" through militarized zones, fight clubs and gang wars. Taking user-generated content to new heights, director Matthieu Kassovitz (Gothika) launched a MySpace contest for futuristic advertisements to appear in the background of the film. According to news reports, Diesel's egomania and problems with location filming delayed the movie and drove it way over budget. Here's a teaser trailer: