When the names of Rodriguez's children — Rebel, Rocket, Rogue and Racer, and daughter, Rhiannon — were revealed to us so many moons ago, we first began to suspect the director of the best movie made for $5000 ever, El Mariachi...of something.

The first salient fact in the case against RR is that George Lucas invited him to Skywalker Ranch after hearing of his interest in effects. Fortunately Trey Parker has done the important job of thinking through exactly what might have occurred that day. Whatever happened, he began using complicated effects done cheaply in his films as he worked with his wife, producer Elizabeth Avellan (right), and their disgustingly named children.

To be fair, Rodriguez' half of Grindhouse does have its thrills, including a phenomenal Josh Brolin turn as a sadistic doctor, but McGowan spends most of the film's 90 minute running time practically running in front of the other actresses on screen. And off screen, she was pretty much doing the same thing in front of the married Rodriguez:

"It was the worst-kept secret on the set. They were going off to his trailer, having meals together," our source said. "Rose thought some of the crew were treating her differently, and the attitude was, like, well what do you expect when you're [bleeping] the director?"

The two bonded instantly, with McGowan telling People, "He's my best friend. We instantly became really good friends." Rodriguez's better half was apparently hearing what everyone on the set was — as well as people in neighboring municipalities. Production on Planet Terror shut down for almost a month.

For McGowan's Rodriguez-produced 2009 project Red Sonja, her paramour aimed high, choosing the guy who directed the second unit on the new Tekken video game franchise-based flick. Is this how you treat the woman you love?

Apparently, yeah. McGowan was flashing around her ring at the Style Awards over the weekend:

"I just want to go to an island somewhere and pay somebody else to deal with it," said McGowan, who wore a $28 Victoria's Secret turtleneck and Fendi shoe boots. "Quentin (Tarantino) is going to be my bridesmaid," she said, laughing.

Of the proposal itself, she said, "It was lovely and very personal."

We can stifle our vomit at that, but not at the actress' forthcoming slate. Robert and Rose's idea of coming up with projects consists of seeing if the lead part in a remake looks like McGowan. Does the world really need a $100 million remake of Barbarella? Studio execs decided the role needed a bigger star for the movie to succeed.

She moved on from a Susan Cabot movie (based on this John H. Richardson essay: pdf), thinking that if you play a B-movie star, you might just become one, to possibly portraying porn star Linda Lovelace opposite Bill Pullman as Hugh Hefner in Inferno.

The soon-to-be Mrs. McGowan better hope he isn't waiting for the dark McGowan-esque good look of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist star Kat Dennings to go legal, because Dennings was caught privately worshiping RR on her blog from the set of Rodriguez's latest film, the kid-friendly Shorts.

The coming years will see Rodriguez sticking to his biggest successes — appealing movies for kids. But I swear that if he casts Rose McGowan in The Jetsons, I will become the guy behind the Watchmen protests quicker than he can get the current director of Jonny Quest fired. I will run on a treadmill outsider his Troublemakers Studio, and I will do it for George Jetson, dressed as George Jetson. Mark my words.

According to Hilton, the split between McGowan and Rodriguez came as the result of the duo's Barbarella plans:

Rumor has it that Rodriguez couldn't find adequate financing for Barbarella because proposed star Rose is not a big enough name, which led to a major blow up between the two.

The new name he's touting to replace Rose in stepping into those space gogo boots? Jessica Alba. Which, if it's true, leads me to this simple question for Robert: Are you fucking high?

Look, I know that Jessica has some level of geek cred from starring in the two Fantastic Four movies as well as your very own Sin City, but don't let that blind you to the simple fact that - well, she can't act. Don't get me wrong, she's very cute and all, but when has she done anything awesome as having a machine gun for a leg or... um... being Alyssa Milano's sister in Charmed? Okay, so I'll admit that it's not like Rose's credits are that much more impressive, but it's all in the attitude: You can believe that Rose would be the kinda girl to strap herself into space and stop interstellar war. Jessica Alba? She's not even someone who can turn herself invisible convincingly.

Bob, Bob... I can call you Bob, right? Listen, Bob. I get it. You don't want to work with your ex. That's fine, even though there's a lot of us who wish you felt differently. But that doesn't mean that you have to replace her with someone with such a black hole of charisma as Jessica. Surely there's a middle ground we can agree on?

...And no, that doesn't mean Scarlett Johansson.

A 'Muse' No More! [Perez Hilton]

According to the USA Today article about the Red Sonja movie, McGowan came to Rodriguez with a script about the scrappy warrior who vows never to sleep with a man until he's bested her in combat. He became excited by the script, but she was originally startled to be offered it. "When they first came to me with it, I thought it was funny," she said. "I do have a body made for sitting on a veranda with mint juleps and a parasol. I don't know why I always have to save the planet."

Rodriguez says McGowan is perfect for Sonja, because she's scrappy. "Rose is a pistol," he explained. "She's whip-smart, has attitude to burn, is sexy, extremely strong, yet has a vulnerable side that would surprise her closest friends. That description also fits Red Sonja."

So what's up with Barbarella? After all, it already has those half-built spaceship sets, but filming on Red Sonja (directed by Rodriguez associate Douglas Aarniokoski) starts in October. It turns out that McGowan and Rodriguez were already shopping around another script for her to star in as of last month — a women in prison TV drama called Women In Chains, according to our sister site Defamer. (I wonder if the script has the Pinocchio sex joke that every women-in-prison movie includes.) And Rodriguez is busy directing a family comedy called Shorts. So it sounds as though they'd already kind of given up on Barbarella, deep in their hearts.

[USA Today and Defamer]