San Francisco, 10:18 PM
Fri Dec 11
27 posts in the last 24 hours
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@Bootknife-Jackson: I forgot to mention this in the piece, but they actually released some Zardoz inspired designs a few years back. Totally blew my head.
@gods-n-clods: I agree about the cursive and disagree about the gold piping. Also, it needs to be about 75-80% less expensive. Fix those problems and I'll buy one.
@Bhockzer: The piping is totally excusable, but the cursive ruins the justifiable price. Sometimes, just rarely, I'll drop the premium note for the Awesome. I could rock this jacket like -whoah-.
My car looks like one hose from the junkyard, but we're talking a serious Charisma modifier here. Handsome Devil FTW.
@jbq: Just don't wear yours around when I'm wearing mine, ok? We'll totes be twinkies. We can't cross polarities with our chick-magnet-couture; it's dangerous.
Evil Tortie's Dad was watching this last night, he'd read about it somewhere. I'm all "what's this?" and he says "VS ad by Michael Bay" and I go "So there will be a 'splosion."
He insists, no, no and then BOOM.
Me: Told ya so. Michael Bay can't even do overpriced undies without a 'splosion.
@Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.: You know you're a hack when you have a cadre of gorgeous women in their underwear, and still need to add stupid action movie tropes to get your point across...
@schrodingers-katana: What point would that be, exactly? That the women are hot, and you can buy their underwear? If you hadn't gotten that already, you failed a Spot check. The 'splosion was just for fun.
@Jonn: Well, everyone knows that 'splosions are movie exclamation points. But so are boobies, so what you have here is a double exclamation point, and that is grammatically incorrect. I mean, that's just stupid!!
What in the depths of hell - there was an explosion in that ad. AN EXPLOSION. IN A LINGERIE AD.
I don't even blame Michael Bay for doing these - I mean, he does what he does, you don't hire Michael Bay expecting grace and elegance, you hire him expecting huge ass explosions and crappy fuzz-fade-in effects. But the marketing execs who thought this was a good idea? I have a couple of friends I'd like to introduce them to.
Honestly, if I were ever marketing a movie, I'd pay bay to make the trailer, then tell him to go away. Much as I hate the guy in general, it's the one thing he can do.
Wow! Can you imagine the kind of letters Michael Bay must've written to Penthouse Forum? Dear Penthouse Forum: I swear this is all true. I was wandering through the Mojave Desert when a tall leggy fashion model appeared out of nowhere wearing nothing but her Victoria's Secret lingerie and high heel shoes. She told me they were on a break from a photo shoot and she was bored. Bored and horny. She was the only one who didn't drag her boyfriend along so she wandered off in search of a hard cock...
@Bill-Lee: ....we made love so passionately that it caused a giant explosion! Thank God no one was hurt, but when the other models saw what happened, that was when the story REALLY started...
Every advert SHOULD be made by Mr Bay. Imagine the sales for things like Nurofen (heads exploding), bargin bin christmas socks (exploding), Washing powder (exploding then setting fire). Imagine...........a world full of Bay ads!!
@CoffinDodger (If the typos crap. Blame my keyboard): "Hi, this is Vince, with Sham-Wow!" Japanese Yakuza bots burst onto the set, laser swords drawn.
"Vince, you and your Sham-Wow have defied us for too long, now you both must die!" Vince leaps forward valiantly, but after felling a few Yak-bots he knows that even someone of his incredible fighting ability is outnumbered.
"Sham-Wow, Transmorph to vehicle mode!" Vince yells before jumping in slow motion into the super-neato sports car. He presses the orange button in the center console as he begins peeling out, launching a series of explosives at his enemies to buy him some time. They go all explodey for like two minutes, lot's of slow-motion and secondary and tertiary explosions out of nowhere. And now, the chase scene begins....
Fox Studios wants to greenlight your ShamWow pic - it's got a weasely celebrity star, Asian villians, robots. 'splosions - but it's missing something...throw in some random boobs and $150million for CGI...
Coming soon to a gigantaplex near you, the next Baytastic production -"Transformers 3: Revenge of the Dustbusters".
@CParis: Fuck. I just became Michael Bay through my reckless use of satire! Curse you, cruel fate, thy ironic machinations mock the principles by which I have tried to live a good and righteous life!
12/10/09
12/10/09
12/10/09
i just noticed, you have a Zardoz head too! +2 to you!
12/10/09
12/10/09
12/09/09
Might I direct your attention towards this most relevant site,
[stuffwhitepeoplelike.com]
12/09/09
[www.youtube.com]
12/09/09
12/09/09
Otherwise, this is some damn sexy menswear. Want.
12/09/09
12/09/09
12/09/09
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12/09/09
My car looks like one hose from the junkyard, but we're talking a serious Charisma modifier here. Handsome Devil FTW.
12/09/09
12/10/09
12/08/09
He insists, no, no and then BOOM.
Me: Told ya so. Michael Bay can't even do overpriced undies without a 'splosion.
12/09/09
12/10/09
11:53 AM
12/08/09
I don't even blame Michael Bay for doing these - I mean, he does what he does, you don't hire Michael Bay expecting grace and elegance, you hire him expecting huge ass explosions and crappy fuzz-fade-in effects. But the marketing execs who thought this was a good idea? I have a couple of friends I'd like to introduce them to.
12/08/09
Honestly, if I were ever marketing a movie, I'd pay bay to make the trailer, then tell him to go away. Much as I hate the guy in general, it's the one thing he can do.
12/08/09
12/10/09
12/08/09
12/08/09
12/09/09
12/08/09
12/08/09
12/08/09
12/09/09
"Vince, you and your Sham-Wow have defied us for too long, now you both must die!" Vince leaps forward valiantly, but after felling a few Yak-bots he knows that even someone of his incredible fighting ability is outnumbered.
"Sham-Wow, Transmorph to vehicle mode!" Vince yells before jumping in slow motion into the super-neato sports car. He presses the orange button in the center console as he begins peeling out, launching a series of explosives at his enemies to buy him some time. They go all explodey for like two minutes, lot's of slow-motion and secondary and tertiary explosions out of nowhere. And now, the chase scene begins....
12/09/09
Fox Studios wants to greenlight your ShamWow pic - it's got a weasely celebrity star, Asian villians, robots. 'splosions - but it's missing something...throw in some random boobs and $150million for CGI...
Coming soon to a gigantaplex near you, the next Baytastic production -"Transformers 3: Revenge of the Dustbusters".
12/09/09
12/09/09
12/09/09
12/09/09
Throw in some ginzu knives and I'll buy a Yak-Bot!
12/09/09
12/09/09
Priceless!
12/08/09
12/08/09
Thanks for enabling my lingerie addiction, io9.