I actually don't know where to begin with these weird Burger King ads. Apparently there are creatures called "Kingons," not to be confused with "Klingons," and Burger King's infamously scary-looking mascot is one of them. And because Burger King's Star Trek glasses contain dilithium crystals (is that safe for drinking?) the "Kingons" are determined to steal them from you. But apart from the "dance of seduction," the Kingons mostly use weird playground bullying tactics to steal your glass, such as wedgies and nipple attacks. Yes, really. A "Kingon" is going to attack your nipples. There's a whole website, the Kingon Defense Academy, devoted to protecting you from these insidious attacks.

Actually, though, the Trek glasses are pretty nice. Here are some images of them. (More over at TrekMovie.)

And here are some more bizarre "Kingon" attack strategies, including the weird nipple assault. I just don't know if I can take nipple-grabbing aliens seriously.

Warp-Five Wedgie:

Scary guitar-playing!

How to punch a guy in the crotch:

A woman gets nerve-pinched and paralysed:

And finally, the nipple thing. WTF!

Pectoral grease? Did they just show a Starfleet officer putting grease on a guy's nipples? Was this, by any chance, Burger King grease?

[AdAge]

The weird innards-revealing ad is supposed to show how cutting-edge the phone is, and highlight the fact that you can see the phone's inner workings. Says Beckham, "I love classic watches so a phone that exposes its mechanics while also being so stylish is really unique."

Here's a video of the ad campaign, which weirdly doesn't make me want to get this human-killing phone at all:

[Guardian]

After sitting through the many trailers and Superbowl commercials, we're going to have to give the io9 gold star of excellence to Baldwin's Hulu ad. Sure astronauts and House Of Pain are fantastic combination, but nothing beats the Baldwin delivery — nothing. Plus it reveals his super evil plans to eat all of our brains and gives viewers a small tour of the underground Hulu lair beneath the Hollywood sign.

Please, Hulu — more Baldwin alien ads!

The two deep-voiced shouters of scifi are dueling at last, in an ad for Talk Talk, some British phone service. Admit it, you've always wanted to hear Brian Blessed scream about "added internet security for the family." Baker retorts that his Talk Talk gives him "double download capacity." "Your Talk talk has its priorities wrong!" Blessed counters. "Could it be that your TalkTalk is different than my TalkTalk???" In one version of the ad (not online, sadly), Tom calls Brian a "flash Harry." Which I think is an insult, but doesn't involve showing your naughty bits to old ladies on the street or anything.

Here's the epoch-making confrontation of our idols:

Alas, they both sound a little too mellow, maybe thanks to a few decades of serene reflection, so we don't really get to hear the clash of titans so many of us have been awaiting for years. [Guardian]