Last night's ep was one of the worst Smallville finales to date - Normally, their finales are some of the few things they do reliably well - in part because there was too much going on, and almost all of it made very little sense. Magical kryptonite can split Doomsday in two! Jimmy finds out that Clark is "the red and blue blur" (Yes, Clark actually said, "Jimmy, I am the red and blue blur," making you realize just how stupid that term is)! Lois ended up in the 31st Century!

(Also, Oliver Queen is a dick. Seriously, I'm sure that his purpose in this show is to turn up, be a dick, and leave. Shooting Clark with a kryptonite arrow just to make sure that he doesn't get hurt? Really, Oli?)

At least JImmy's death seemed important at the time; his being murdered by Davis may have been more for shock value than anything else (Although, is it wrong that I liked that Davis without Doomsday is still a psychopath? I mean, it kind of goes against the whole "I am tortured and trying to rebel against the purpose I was created for" thing, but still; yay for pointless murders), but the cliche of his having just enough life left to save the day and kill Davis made this fanboy just a little bit happier with the whole mess. Of course, Jimmy had to save the day, because this is Smallville, where Clark Kent stands around while other people get things done and then mopes that he can't save the people he loves.

This time, though, Clark doesn't just mope; he decides that, because Davis was human when he killed Jimmy, that human emotions are bad and therefore, he'll embrace his kryptonian side to become a better hero. Which, you know, doesn't make sense, but does make for a season finale cliff-hanger (As did the final scene, where Zod apparently came to Earth in a desperate attempt to make people continue to care about the show). Oh, Jimmy. Is your sacrifice truly in vain? Apparently so; not only does Clark's "Clark Kent is dead" moment completely fail to convince in any way whatsoever - Come on, do you really think that it'll last any longer than the start of next season? - but it seems that there's a baby brother Olsen out there ready to take his place, and this one's the right age to make all that Superman Mythos fans happy.

With eight years under its belt, last night's finale just made the show seem much, much older; everything seemed like it'd been done before, and none of the shocking changes are going to stick. It's a shame; the start of this year felt much fresher than the show had in years, but by the end, everything had become the old, familar melodrama with the future of the world at stake yet again. Here's hoping that next year's the final year we have to go through these particular motions.

The honest answer would be an uncertain "Pretty well, maybe?" While Johns' script was perfectly fine, it was also more of a regular Smallville effort than what comic fans have come to expect from Johns. Yes, there were the geek-friendly shout outs (A Legion of Substitute Heroes reference? Really?). But the scale was smaller and the formula much more generic than fans of his Green Lantern or even his Action Comics runs would've expected.

A lot of that comes from necessity, of course. Not only does the budget of an eight-year-old series on the CW tend to limit the amount of super-powered derring-do, but because the episode was as much about the resolution of a long-running subplot (Chloe's become possessed by Brainiac!) than it was about the Legion themselves.

What we did see of the Legionnaires was... uneven. While the Ron Weasley-izing of Lightning Lad was a bit of a surprise, at least it gave him a personality. The futuristic serenity of Cosmic Boy and Saturn Girl was less convincing, mostly because it was hard to tell what was serenity, and what was bad acting. (When it came to Alexz Johnson's Saturn Girl in particular, I think it may have been the latter). That said, all three were still more interesting to watch than Tom Welling's still-dull Clark or the visiting-yet-entirely-unnecessary Kristin Kreuk's Lana Lang, arguably two of the least-compelling series leads in television history.

The saving grace of the episode, then, was Evil Chloe. Yes, the plot's been done to death on this series alone, but Allison Mack's scenery chewing as she explained why this time Brainiac was going to take over the world (Apparently by sticking her hand into a server and using the internet to read everyone's minds in the world or something; welcome to Smallville logic) was wonderfully fun to watch, and the right match of hammy campness and respect for the story. Of course, everything was solved - and Chloe returned to her much blander self - by the end of the episode, but we all expected that, right?

And so, "Legion" wasn't the OMG GREATEST SMALLVILLE EVER that many - including myself, I admit - were hoping for, but it still managed to be strong enough within one of the strongest seasons of the show for years. Now, if Johns wants to return to the show to follow through on his hint of bringing Clark into the 31st Century, that could be exactly what I was hoping for all along...

Anyone who's seen either of those movies knows the plot by now: Hot naked woman comes to Earth and fucks men to death in search of her perfect mate. Except, because this is Smallville, she's wearing clothes (admittedly, less clothes than her comic book counterpart) and just kisses them to death, instead... but she did have the greatest first line of any character on the show: "I came as soon as I saw your Kryptonian beacon." Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

(As a very geeky aside, am I the only person who's only just realized that the comic Maxima is pretty much the same character as Marvel's Thundra? Of course, neither of those characters kissed people to death; they would've just punched them a lot and then gone on about female supremacy or something, instead.)

Because this was a flashback to the bad old days of the show - albeit an entirely watchable one, for all the wrong reasons - the Maxima plot about finding your soulmate even if you have to kiss every other man on Earth to death to do it was only a superpowered metaphor for all of the B-plots of the episode, all of which centered around the characters' romantic entanglements: Will Chloe get over her love for Clark and embrace her future with soulmate Jimmy? Will Clark get over his love for Lana and realize that his future is with future soulmate Lois? Will Lois get over her ego and realize that her future is with Clark? Well, the answer for that last one only came with some help from Maxima, who pretty much said "You love Clark," leading Lois to spend the end of the show making gooey eyes at him like the most suggestible newsreporter in existence.

(The most important unresolved question of the episode wasn't "Who has stolen the Kryptonian supercomputer crystal McGuffin?" as much as the writers undoubtedly wanted it to be - It's totally Chloe, in a moment of evil schizophrenia, by the way - but "Does the Luthor Mansion only actually have one room?" Tess seems to do everything in that one room with the desk and the fireplace, whether it's hold secret meetings with crazy scientists, get invited to parties by Green Arrow or take kick-boxing lessons that get interrupted by people accusing you of breaking and entering. Don't get me wrong; I admire her ability to re-use the space, but still, it's a mansion. You'd think she's have a gym or something, at least.)

Everything ended up remarkably well, and remarkably timely, of course; the ten minutes of epilogue at the end being just enough to tell all concerned viewers that, yes, Clark is over Lana because Chloe told him that she was over him, even though we all know that that's only because she has Brainiac living in her head - To everyone currently calling for my head for spoiling the show for them, it's not a spoiler when the characters themselves say it twice - meaning that the moral gets slightly confused: Moving on from the past is really easy when you're modeling yourself after someone who's part computer? Love means never having to say you're sorry for snogging a hot alien? I'm not quite sure, but if Smallville wants to replace real plots with allegorical agony aunt answers, I'll happily keep tuning in.

As long as those answers are illustrated by cute red-headed aliens, of course.

While I still, admittedly, find it hard to care about Green Arrow that much, there was still some fun to be had in last night's archer-centric episode... especially when it comes to the show's fascinating attitude towards science. It wasn't just the idea that putting bags of ice on top of the poisoned and in-coma Oliver Queen would somehow do anything for him, but also Clark's outburst upon noticing that Chloe could read computer screens at lightning speed: "Chloe, you're getting smarter!" as if it were the worst thing in the world. Way to be supportive, Kal-El.

It helped that even Smallville's own writers seemed to find Green Arrow's origin as dull as I did, fast-forwarding through the whole shipwrecked-on-a-desert-island-so-that-he-had-to-become-the-world's-greatest-archer-in-order-to-kill-animals-and-eat schtick in fade-in minutes in order to get to a retread of Dennis Quaid vehicle D.O.A. that proved just how small Clark Kent's world really is — His best buddy Ollie and new boss Tess Mercer were on that island together! And now they're estranged lovers! Or something (At this point, I'm convinced that the only reason that we've not met Batman in this show yet is because there's no Bruce Wayne in the Smallverse). This being the Junior Superman show, everything ended well, even though Ollie ended up drunk, complaining about mosquitos and dropping accidental Lost references; Tess even won her Eeeevil stripes by killing the bad guy in a way that would've made dear departed Lex proud.

Same as last week, the real fun of the week came from the subplots and the shoutouts to the show's fanbase ("I'd rather avoid a ride on the Clark and Lana rollercoaster," Lois said at one point, prompting cheers from the show's seven-year faithful who know exactly how she feels). Chloe's becoming Brainiac (Possibly)! Davis has a secret side (Definitely)! Tess outright acknowledges her mysterious past and the awkwardness of her sudden arrival (Making us wonder where the hell they're going with this)! It's these strange knowing winks at the audiences that redeem whatever insults the show throws at us, acknowledgement that we're not only not stupid but also in on the joke, that Heroes should learn to start tossing out once in awhile... Because, if I can see a trailer for something as dopey as next week's Maxima episode looks and think "That could be fun," they've got to be doing something right.

While I wasn't too impressed by the generic main plot of the episode - Bus explodes even though there was no bomb onboard (Well, at least it didn't get filled with some fast-setting magic goo), girl turns out to be able to make things explode - it was saved by the apparent new status quo of the show, the freshest part of which is definitely Clark being pro-active and actually seeming to be on his way to becoming Superman for a change: It's not just that he saved the people on the bus and stuck around afterwards to help without giving it any thought instead of running away at superspeed to feel upset about his powers, but much moreso his attempt at inspirational speaking at the end of the episode to Bette, The Bomb-Girl - For the first time ever on the show, you got the feeling that he just might grow up to become the Superman that we know and love.

If anything, the familiarity of the plot helped bring home how different the show and characters have become since its start, eight years ago. It wasn't only Clark's new assertiveness, but also the way that the show's Lois has started to settle into a go-getting reporter role closer to her comic book counterpart (but with added awkward comedy from her not being as good at her job as she'd like), Chloe getting a B-plot to herself (although, seriously, haven't we done the "female lead falls for bad guy" plot many times before on this show? For shame, people), and the complete lack of emo angst - or death of the villain, for that matter. It's like a whole new show that's ripping off old Smallville but doing it better.
Two particular things reinforced the "better" idea this week. Firstly, the introduction of new villain Doomsday was... well, not as terrible as it could've been, really. Sure, in theory I'm still entirely against Doomsday being a human transformed into an unstoppable monster thanks to Kryptonite meteors, but damned if Sam Witwer didn't make newcomer Davis Bloome into an unexpectedly charming figure that even managed to pull off the "shock" final scene of his naked, transforming, body. Much more squee-worthy was the by-now-traditional scene of newLex, Tess Mercer - not as bald, but just as evil - recruiting the villain for nefarious ends, although the reason for my excitement is more likely than not entirely in my head. Let me explain.

We've heard - thanks to Charlie - that evil New God Darkseid may be on top to appear this season. Well, watching Tess recruit Bette to her "team" made me wonder/hope: What if Tess isn't Tess? What if she's a disguised version of Darkseid's hencholdwoman, Granny Goodness, recruiting supervillains to a new televisual team of Female Furies? It'll probably never happen, but such an idea is 100% Smallville: Taking an idea from the comic books and making it work on television involving attractive young people wearing form-fitting clothes. If anyone from the show's writing staff is reading this: You know what to do to make me happy.

But even the fact that I'm fanboy excited about the possibility of something like that happening goes to demonstrate that Smallville is continuing to turn itself around and quietly become one of the more enjoyable (guilty) pleasures on TV right now. Will wonders never cease?

The episode starts with the in-flight execution of Edward Teague (Robert Picardo). The last member of the Veritas secret society sits nervously sipping a drink on an empty private jet. Cut to Kara walking into the cabin, donning a sexy flight attendant uniform, and subsequently scaring the crap out of Teague. Pissed-off Kara punches a hole through the airplane and extorts information on the whereabouts of the device that can control The Traveler (Lex has it). Kara takes off and lets Teague's plane crash. Bye, bye secret society.

Much of the same back in Smallville and at the Daily Planet. Lex Luthor wants to make Jimmy Olsen his bitch-boy because he got Jimmy's girl Chloe Sullivan out of lock-up for that whole terrorist imbroglio. Note to Chloe, don't hack into government files if you don't want to get arrested. So now Jimmy has to lie (gasp) to his pal Lois Lane, or Lex will tell National Security that Chloe is a terrorist and it's back to the pokey for her.

Lois is jazzed that Chloe's firing opened up a spot for Clark Kent at the Daily Planet. She even brings him an application. Yay, more Lois-and-Clark time. But Clark will have to get over his whole petty "I'd never work for Lex Luthor" attitude first. We all know it will happen. Chloe ruins this moment by taking Clark to her secret computer lair, where she reveals that Teague is dead. Together they figure out that Kara is the one that destroyed Teague's plane and now they're both scared because Kara has gone crazy and is killing people. Clark then heads to Lex's mansion to intercept Kara and scold her for being a murderer. Kara protests her actions are only aimed at saving Clark and humanity. Because whoever controls the device controls Clark, and they can turn him into a weapon. Lies! She later teams up with Lex saying she wants to destroy the Traveler too, and tells Lex he needs to go to The Fortress of Solitude to use the Veritas orb.

Jimmy meets up with Lois and plants Lex's seeds of deception in the worst acted scene ever. I get it, you're so moral, Jimmy, lying is hard for you, we don't need to see you physically in pain while lying. Then of course, Jimmy tells Lex this will be the last time.

Meanwhile Chloe tries to stop Kara with a bit o' kryptonite. But it's not Kara and she shape-shifts to reveal that she's actually Brainiac. He zaps her brain the same way he zapped Lana's, but Chloe's not the same as Lana, because she was affected by the meteor as well. Chloe falls into a coma and Brainiac is weakened by Chloe's secret powers.

Clark is pissed that all of his friends are now in comas thanks to Brainiac, and confronts him. Brainiac admits he's done something terrible to Kara and won't tell Clark where she is, and on top of it all he mocks Clark for being weak. In response Clark kills Brainiac with a power cable, thus freeing Lana and Chloe from their comas.

Lana awakens and bolts the hospital before Clark can get there, leaving a sad DVD message that they just can't be together, and the world needs Clark more. Clark cries about Lana, again. I may have a gigantic girl crush on Lana, but I'm glad they decided to end this going-nowhere relationship. Wake me when Clark takes that job at the Planet.

Now that Chloe is awake Jimmy realizes he can't live with out her and gets down on one knee. But as with everyone else in Smallville, happiness in a relationship is unacceptable so the government barges in, ruins the romantic moment and hauls Chloe off to jail again. Lex, you evil, bald genius — kill as many people as you want, but interrupting a proposal? Your heart is a cinder. The moment did give Jimmy the chance to deliver one last terrible line for the season stating that Chloe went from, "life support to life without parole in less than a day." With all the drama surrounding Chloe's return I wonder if the writers threw her back in prison just in case they couldn't reach a contract agreement.

Jump to the Fortress of Solitude when a not-so-surprised Lex sees Clark for who he really is. After a quick back and forth about how they used to love each other and the overall betrayal between the two, Lex goes ahead and inserts the control orb from the Veritas. In Lex's defense he does firmly believe that Clark will destroy humanity and this is his birthright. This causes Clark to buckle and the fortress to start crumbling from above. Large, horribly animated crystals start to fall on Lex and Clark. Lex holds Clark, looks into his eyes and says, "I love you like a brother Clark but it has to end this way."

And finally where exactly has Brainiac hidden dear Kara? Turns out he's shoved her in a Phantom Zone and she is floating through space trapped.

Boo, what does the device do exactly? I want to see Clark as Lex's robot. I'm not too worried about Lana being gone as Clark is not meant for her anyways. It should be interesting to see how Smallville uses Lana and Lex, now that they won't be around as much.