Tonight

The Middleman's latest episode "The Obsolescent Cryogenic Meltdown" features Kevin Sorbo as a Middleman from the past who's been frozen in time. He's brought back to fight a supervillain, the Candle, but will his obsolete manners force Wendy to kill him?

The Japanese shōnen mecha anime Gurren Lagann, about an underground future society, is on twice on Monday once at 11 and again at 11:30 PM on the Sci Fi Channel.

My favorite X-Files two parter "Duane Barry Part 1" is on Sci Fi at 2 AM. If you like aliens, hostage situations and crazy folk, this is for you.

Futuristic private dick Charlie Jade is back and desperately trying to piece together the clues behind a murder mystery of a lovely young woman, the only problem is, she has no identity (which is impossible in his future), Charlie Jade airs at 3 AM on the Sci Fi Channel

Movies:
Enlist in The Federations alien bug-killing campaign before the evil being take over the universe in Starship Troopers, which is showing at 10 AM and 3 AM on TBS. Murderous soul eating car Christine is on AMC at 5:45 PM. And later, count all of the terrible one-liners in Batman & Robin on TBS at 12:30 AM.

Tuesday

Eureka has a new episode, where Allison starts to get ready for her wedding and all the genius dogs line up for a show of their own. "Best In Faux" is on the Sci Fi Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:

A handsome young man tries to repair the problems of his past with a time machine, but instead he ends up going forward about 800,000 years into the future. The Time Machine will be on TBS at 12:30 AM.

Wednesday

Journey back and discover the roots of our flying saucers. According to UFO Files: UFOs: Then and Now? The Innocent Years, even Medieval times had their share of alien encounters. UFO Files is on the History Channel at 11 PM. Later, explore the secret lives of flexible bendy monsters on the History channel's MonsterQuest: Boneless Horror at 1 AM.

Movies:

Watch the original War Games before they ruin it with that awful remake /sequel, on AMC at 5:30 PM. Crazy scifi movie Mad Love, where murderous hands get transplanted on unsuspecting victims. is on at 8 PM on TMC. Later, Kirk Douglas' 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea is on TMC at 2 AM.

Thursday

Movies:

Milla Jovovich dons the world's tiniest bandages as a supreme being that can save the world from biblical alien doom in The Fifth Element on TBS. At 10 AM watch the first ever reality TV Show gone horribly wrong when an entire world is built to house enough cameras to film one man from birth until death (or escape) in The Truman Show, on TBS at 9 PM.

Friday

Stargate Atlantis "The Ghost In the Machine" brings back Doctor Elizabeth Weir, but as a creepy kill-crazy Replicator. Or is she one of the good replicators? Wait, are there good Replicators? Atlantis is on the Sci Fi Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:
Get ready for high kicks and punches — and kitchen splits — with Jean-Claude Van Damme's Timecop at 10:30 PM on AMC.

Saturday

More British scifi beasties and monsters jump out of the rip in time in Primeval on BBC America at 9 PM. This weeks episode has the gang searching through the tunnels of London's underground and uncovering a bunch of gigantic spiders.

Movies:
TNT launches a scifi movie marathon starting at 11 AM with Jackie Chan's terrible movie about fatal formal wear The Tuxedo. Then there is Aeon Flux at 1 PM, Ultraviolet at 3 PM, Blade II at 7 PM, Blade: Trinity at 9 PM, Land of The Dead and 3:10.

Sunday

Venture Brothers will have a new episode for fans on Sunday at 11 PM on Adult Swim.

Movies:

Start your day off right with Space Cowboys where a group of aged astronauts get sent back into space to protect the world from ancient space technology. It airs on TNT at 8:30 AM. Later watch a military plane become self aware and try to blow up the world and fighter pilot Jessica Biel along it in Stealth on TNT at 1 PM.

To some extent, it's understandable that space adventures play fast and loose with physics. After all, who wants to watch Han Solo spend years on the journey to Alderaan, only to find that the planet has twice Earth gravity and he can barely stand up, much less swagger?

The categories of mistakes in our report card should be pretty self-explanatory, but just in case, I'll expand on them a little bit:

• There's no sound in space
• Not all planets have Earth gravity
• Planets should have diverse climates, instead of one unified climate across a "desert planet" or "forest planet."
• It shouldn't be too easy to communicate with alien creatures, without some kind of high-technology "translator" explanation.
• And it definitely shouldn't be too easy for humans to interbreed with aliens.
• Humans exposed to vacuum without a spacesuit shouldn't explode or shatter. And a "hull breach" where the ship's crew is exposed to vacuum should kill everyone instantly.
• You can't have fires in space, unless there's oxygen leaking out somehow.
• Asteroids or other objects shouldn't be able to float close together without falling into each other's gravity
• People shouldn't be able to dodge lasers and other speed-of-light weapons
• And there's no reason why someone would move in slow-motion in zero gravity.
• Faster-than-light travel is probably not ever going to be possible.