Monday:

House -
A police officer with a fear of heart disease heads to Princeton General on FOX at 8 PM. Because that's what apparently killed the last three generations of men in his family at age 40, he's terrified of the same. But was that really what it was? Also, the Darth Vader dictator's case is still hanging over Chase's head (I love House, but I'm so over this storyline) and House faces ghosts from his past ("ghosts"? We can hope).

Heroes -
On NBC at 8 PM, the newly found Sylar is led by Samuel on a voyage of self-discovery, while the arrival of Hiro proves fortuitous for Emma and her abilities. Meanwhile, Peter is asking Noah for help finding someone to heal Hiro.

Big Bang Theory -
Wil Wheaton guest stars as a participant in a trading card competition. Turns out Sheldon has a deep seated resentment for him, so he enters the competition too. Also, Wolowitz asks Penny to set him up with one of her friends, on CBS at 8:30 PM.

Extreme Paranormal -
A team of paranormal investigators, on A&E at 10 PM, use extreme measures (such as replicating deaths to "invoke" the ghosts of those killed in a 1980 riot) to find what's haunting the New Mexico State Penitentiary.

Movies:

Experience the flaming-skull magic once again! Nic Cage is Johnny Blaze in Ghost Rider on FX at 8 PM.

Tuesday:

Nova -
Lizard expert Eric Pianka tracks down the elusive monitor lizard in Australia, and showcases them using "lizard-cam" technology on PBS at 8 PM.

Ghost Lab -
The brothers head to Chicago on Discovery Channel at 10 PM and also to the Mortuary in New Orleans.

Movies:

A San Francisco detective helps an alien cop track down an otherworldly murderer in Alien Nation, on the Fox Movie Channel at 8 PM

Wednesday:

Spectacular Spider-Man -
It's Valentine's Day and Peter jeopardizes his relationship with Liz Allen to stop a meeting between Tombstone, Hammerhead and Doc Oc. And on Disney XD at 9 PM, only Spider-Man can head off the impending gang war.

Ghost Hunters -
On Syfy at 9 PM the team probes Chicago's Congress Theater's claims of floating apparitions and disembodied voices.

MythBusters -
Which has better gas mileage: clean cars or dirty ones? On Discovery Channel at 9 PM, it's the "hangover episode," where Tori, Kari and Grant study myths stemming from beer and liquor.

Destination Truth -
Incan ruins are investigated on Syfy at 10 PM and the team looks for evidence of a humongous bird in Alaska.

Eastwick -
Some sorta of crazy moon beam eclipse thingy is affecting the women on ABC at 10 PM, and it's leading them all to free their inhibitions. Meaning, Kat gets freaky on top of a piano, Roxie and Mia have an awkward moment with the cute brothers they're each involved with and Joanna runs a troubling story.

Movies:

On Disney at 8 PM, Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire. One of Sabrina the Teenage Witch's aunt has a date with The Nanny's employer, who happens to be a vamp, too.

Thursday:

FlashForward -
On ABC at 8 PM, Mark has to answer to the Senate, in order to get the team funding and I hope we get to see more of his flash-forward in the process. Janis (the possibly pregnant-in-the-future FBI agent) questions her flash in regards to her current relationship status. Also, Olivia finds out some interesting tidbits about Mark's flash — possibly about the prevalence of alcohol in it?

Movies:

Bill Murray and crew are headed out to protect the city on AMC at 5:30 PM for Ghostbusters II.

Friday:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold -
On Cartoon Network at 7:30 PM we finally get to hear Neil Patrick Harris as the Music Meister as he uses his power to hijack a satellite, so he can control people with music... and take over the world. Yay for singing villains.

Ghost Whisperer -
On CBS at 8 PM, the whisperer must help Chad Lowe come to terms with his past and the ghost that's making him pay for it.

Smallville -
Oliver's kidnapped by Victoria (aka Roulette) and warned that his life is danger. Then, when he's arrested for Victoria's death, Oliver turns to Chloe for help. Also, Ms. Lane is upset with Clark for keeping Oliver's suicide attempt a secret, all on CW at 8 PM.

Dollhouse -
Finally, the way Sierra came to be a doll is revealed when she faces her Rossum Corp connection as an Active, on FOX at 9 PM. And of course, her link includes obsession and murder. This episode is directed by Jonathan "Will Riker" Frakes, who also directed several episodes of Roswell.

Stargate Universe -
Destiny seems primed for a collision with a star, and of course all her power goes out, too, leading the crew to consider abandoning her on Syfy at 9 PM. With a name like Destiny, though, are they serious? Apparently so, as they hold a lottery to fill the only working escape shuttle.

Sanctuary -
Magnus takes in those ousted by the Cabal in the attacks on the Tokyo and London sanctuaries, and Kate sets a one-of-a-kind creature free, on Syfy at 10 PM.

Movies:

An Alien breeds inside Sigourney Weaver, on AMC at 8 PM.

Saturday:

Movies:

Silly college kids take a wrong turn and end up mixed up with real (live?) deadly ghosts in Ghost Town on Syfy at 9 PM.

Sunday:

Movies:

On Encore at 10:15 PM Pierce Brosnan tries to warn of an impending volcanic eruption a little too late, in Dante's Peak.

Monday:

Shark Week: Deadly Waters -
Survivorman's Les Stroud takes on the deadliest water in the world. Using historical data, he will test the hotspots of the ocean and try to discover just why these spots are the deadliest on Earth, on the Discovery Channel at 9 PM.

Shark Week: Day of the Shark 2 -
Divers are trapped inside a shark cage after a great white breaks out of it — while a different shark attacks a former Navy Seal, and a bull shark joins a spear-fishing trip in the Bahamas. Without careful attention, your ocean trip can easily turn dangerous, on Discovery at 10 PM.

Movies:
Biker werewolves hunt down a boy who is the missing link between man and their species, and is destined to destroy their kind. Skinwalkers, starring Jason Behr of Roswell, is on TMC at 8:15 PM.

Tuesday:

Warehouse 13 -
Need a Stargate fix? Tune into Warehouse for a guest spot by Joe Flanigan, aka Sheppard — don't worry, his hair is still a scraggly mess. But Shep's not the only newcomer — last week's new cute hacker, Claudia, joins the team...Will the latest additions to the Warehouse churn up some sexual chemistry? Most likely, this is what Flanigan's hair was put on this Earth to do: relive the SGA glory days on Syfy, at 9 PM.

That's Impossible -
Death rays and laser cannons, oh my! Weapons from science fiction movies are examined in this show that discovers just how probable stuff of fiction really is, on History Channel at 10 PM.

Shark Week!: Sharkbite Summer -
Shark attacks from 2001's Summer of the Shark are recounted, using first-hand accounts of what happened and visits to the scene of the attacks. A shark bites "clean through a boy's arm," on the Discovery Channel, at 9 PM.

Movies:
Two San Franciscans (well, kinda, since one is a humanoid) hunt down an extraterrestrial murderer in Alien Nation on FMC at 8 PM.

Wednesday:

Monsters Inside Me -
A parasite nom nom noms on your brains. Zombie parasites! Someone watch and let me know because the last episode of this "if you eat, breath or touch this, it could kill you" show kept me indoors in a sanitized tent for days. Monsters is on Animal Planet at 9 PM. Watch if you dare.

Shark Week! Man vs. Fish -
In the debut of this reality show, extreme fisherman Matt Watson heads to New Zealand to face off with a mako shark ... while aboard a sinking raft, all on Discovery at 10 PM.

Movies:
Three old men discover the healing properties of the pool next door, and the aliens who own it, in Cocoon on FMC at 10 PM.

Thursday:

Shark Week! Shark After Dark -
Aiming to learn more about how sharks behave after the sun sets, a team of divers tracks sharks around the world with the latest technology, to try to learn more about the aggressive animals, on Discovery at 9 PM.

Movies:
A man pops out of a board game and brings with him a stampede of elephants, monkeys driving cop cars and a hairy creature named Robin Williams. Jumanji is on AMC at 8 PM.

Friday:

Eureka -
The town's teenagers have been manipulated into building a strange structure out of electronics and scrap metal, on Syfy at 9 PM.

Movies:
Paleontologist Alan Grant is headed back to the infamous dinosaur island, accompanied with a group of idiots whose main purpose seems to endanger the lives of others, or create interesting plot points. JP3 is on MTV at 10 PM.

Saturday:

Being Human -
Annie meets another ghost, and she learns why she has been stranded here on Earth, and how to move on. Meanwhile, the forever miserable Mitchell continues to wean Lauren off blood, on BBC America at 9 PM.

Movies:
James Cameron's Oscar-winning sequel Aliens about returning to the space colony where it all began 57 years before is on Spike at 8 PM.

Cameron night continues, as we watch John Connor growing up in Terminator 2. Is the "mimetic polyalloy" T-1000 the best Terminator ever? We say yes. T2 is on Bravo at 9 PM.

Sunday:

True Blood -
In Dallas, Sookie's trials take a turn when Eric shows up just before the Fellowship's lockdown. Back home, Sam discovers a gruesome thing in his bar, and there doesn't appear to be anyone leaping to his defense. But more Jessica and Hoyt hook-up time is promised (yay!).

Raging Planet -
This new series premieres with two episodes, beginning with the dissection of tornadoes and their paths of destruction and followed with an episode about lightning, including some cool footage of how it's "born," on the Discovery Channel at 9 PM.

Defying Gravity -
A strange force on the crew's ship Antares begins to have extreme results on the astronauts' biology and personalities. More sexy space dreams, on ABC at 10 PM.

Monday:

Spectacular Spider-Man -
Venom and his big mouth — he totally ruins Spidey's cover by blurting out his secret identity. Will Venom's leak put Peter's family in danger?

There's an all day Doctor Who marathon on the Syfy channel right this second.

Movies:

V for Vendetta -
In a dystopian future in Britain, a man in a Guy Fawkes mask named V seeks to bring down the government with a violent plan. Based on the Alan Moore/David Lloyd comic series and starring Natalie Portman, on FX at 10:30 PM.

Tuesday:

Warehouse 13 -
Artie discovers the source of the security breach ... when she kidnaps him and asks him for help righting a wrong from their past, that killed her brother. The sexy steampunk show about "America's attic" airs on SyFy at 9 PM.

Comic Con Preview of Warehouse 13

Better Off Ted -
Veridian goes green? Ted gives Linda a phony "green" project which gets a little out of hand when others want to help on ABC at 9:30 PM.

That's Impossible -
Jonathan Frakes narrates this series about science catching up with our imaginations. Tonight, replacement limbs grown in labs are examined, as well as microscopic robots designed to rid the body of deadly diseases and processes to reverse aging on the History channel at 10 PM.

Movies:
Van Helsing, and his fabulous hat, both hunt down Dracula, on FX at 7 PM.

Wednesday:

Monsters Inside Me -
The, "bugs, germs, parasites they are everywhere — quick, lock me in my bathtub" show is back, and this time introduces you to Parastic infestations in the southeast. So much for your plans to travel there.

MonsterQuest -
Strange flying creatures of legends and folklore are examined. Along with video proof of the human-like creatures, a strange corpse is looked at with hopes of identifying these eerie monsters. On the History Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:
See the movie that REALLY put Alan Moore over the edge into hating the movie industry, on FX: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen airs at 8 PM, but Moore may send Promethea to your house to beat you up if you watch it.

Thursday:

Moments of Impact -
A shark attacks a scuba diver, a couple is thrown from their boat, and a construction worker has to leap from a building on Discovery channel at 9 PM.

Movies:
Tom Sizemore stars in a movie about a half-rat, half-dog creature that emerges from the sewers, and it's actually a science experiment gone wrong. Looks to be... slimy. Bottom Feeder is on SyFy at 8 PM.

Friday:

Eureka -
A green blob visits, along with rivals from Area 51, for a bowling tournament. Meanwhile, Carter looks into what seem to be a series of pranks... involving science, we're guessing. On SyFy at 9 PM.

Comic Con Preview Of Eureka:

Movies:
The extended version of Spiderman 2 adds eight minutes of tentacled Doctor Octopus, as he takes on Spidey, as well as more Mary Jane-Peter Parker angst at 5:30 PM. The less-than-spectacular Superman Returns follows at 7 PM.

You saw the thigh-strapped cosplay Lara ladies this past weekend, now see the real thing. Angelina Jolie is video-game heroine Lara Croft searching for Pandora's Box in Lara Croft: Cradle of Life on TNT at 9 PM.

Saturday:

Being Human -
A fellow werewolf befriends George, and Mitchell mistakenly invites him to crash with the roommates. Turns out he's hell to live with... literally. Gripping drama with possibly some of the best ensemble chemistry I've seen in a while is on BBC America, at 9 PM.

Movies:
A hero must defeat a dragon summoned by a warlord with purty hair, and a black heart. Continuing the new movie on SyFy Saturday at 9 PM. Seriously if you don't watch Dragonquest at least once a month, you'll go insane, which is why the government requires a weekly airing of this Quaid feature.

Sunday:

True Blood -
Daphne, you are such a bia. And Sookie is told to go work on her boyfriend Bill by the Fellowship — can she pretend to be a normal and kind human being long enough to avoid getting her and her friends all killed? Most likely, no. True Blood is on HBO at 9 PM.

Comic Con Preview of True Blood, I'm going to write about it later when I find the words to describe what is hidden in here. UNBELIEVABLE:

Defying Gravity -
The series premiere gives us four men and four women as they head out for a six-year journey into space... and sexiness. Starring Ron Livingston of Office Space fame, the series centers around the crew's mission to Venus and their intertwined pasts, and looks like a space odyssey-esque Grey's Anatomy.

Blood in the Water -
Shark Week is here! And it begins with this special. So get excited — it's science with teeth and blood. And remember to live every week like it's Shark Week, on the Discovery Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:
The movie that opened on Christmas day, because it's a religious experience is airing on FX at 11 PM. It's Alien vs. Predator Requiem, people. Baby Jesus would want you to watch it.

Additional reporting and writing by Caitlin Petrakovitz.

Monday:

Spectacular Spider-Man -
School's back from winter break, and so is the Sandman. But more importantly — superhero fiestas! Peter is invited to Flash's birthday party, and may never get this teen-angst thing under control. Meanwhile, is that Venom he keeps spotting?

The Spectacular Spider-Man: First Steps:

Movies:
There can only be one, until there was a fourth, movie, that is. Highlander: Endgame with Christopher Lambert as Connor MacLeod is on TMC at 10 PM.

Tuesday:

Warehouse 13 -
Thank your lucky Battlestars — Cylon Number Six (Tricia Helfer) is back as a guest star on this week's Warehouse, complete with her sexy walk and even sexier authoritative talk. Pete and Myka assist the much-missed Helfer as a string of bank robberies in Chicago leaves people stunned. Meanwhile, Artie tries to get to the bottom of a security breach at the warehouse. Warehouse 13 returns on the newly spelled SyFy channel at 9 PM.

Warehouse Promo

Better Off Ted -
Veridian makes a perfume for women... that causes hornets to attack. Linda is thrown under the bus by the company and Phil and Lem's friendship is tested yet again by the depositions. Support your local nerds, on ABC at 9 PM.

On The Set With Phil And Lem (le nerd sigh)

That's Impossible -
How long until we have real Terminators? And will they really look like Governator Arnold? The possibility of robotic soldiers who are able to think is discussed, and current research and developments are showcased. Welcome to your A.I.-dominated future, on the History Channel at 10 PM.

Wednesday:

Monsters Inside Me -
Now that this micro-terror show has already ruled out swimming, sleeping or even DRINKING WATER, what's next? Try not breathing. Tonight the show that scares the bejeezus out of us all continues to with a seminar on the sexual reproduction of parasites, including those of botflies and worms, which flourish in your lungs. I really, really hate this show.

Cough Up Blood With Monsters Inside Me:

MonsterQuest -
Forget Shark Week, killer crocs are on the prowl on the History Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:
Robin Williams escapes from a board game, only to face wild monkeys... and oh yeah, a stampede of elephants. Jumanji is on AMC at 8 PM.

Thursday:

J.K. Rowling: A Year in the Life -
Harry Potter and his origins are revealed in this special about the children's author. America finally gets a look at Rowling's intimate life, filmed in the year leading up to the release of the seventh HP novel. Elizabeth Vargas's interview with the richest woman in England airs on ABC at 8 PM. Can't wait? Check out this documentary from across the pond, of the same name.

Are We Alone? -
By checking out the extreme climates and studying areas with little to no water, can scientists prove extraterrestrial life exists? Some travel to the most extreme locations on Earth, including Death Valley in California, to discover if life on other planets is even possible.

And maybe some Sookie-Bill love will be shown while Anna Paquin's on Letterman on CBS at 11:30 PM.

Friday:
Eureka -
Carter has to get all certificated as sheriff again, and it hurts his soft little human brain. But this is Eureka after all, and problems can only be solved via more problems, so Allison heads out to scan the town with her DNA-monitoring system, injuring Deputy Lupo in the process. The season continues on SyFy at 9 PM.

Movies:
Keanu Reeves is the disaffected tattooed savior known as John Constantine. Tune in for Rachel Weisz, but stay for the devil. Constantine is on AMC at 9 PM.

Saturday:

Kings -
Here it is, folks: the end. The first part of the finale airs tonight, as Silas continues trying to pawn off Port Prosperity on Gath, throws Jack and David in jail, and generally looks unhappy. On a brighter Michelle looks for ways to save the jailed David. The show that NBC sent to Saturdays to die airs at 8 PM. It's wrong what they did to this series, just wrong, and if you caught the last episode, you should agree.

Primeval -
A strange woman from the future appears, as a stampede of homicidal rhinos head through an anomaly ready to attack. But, trust me, this future lady is way more interesting than the pack of CG rhinos. Find out her secret on BBC America at 9 PM.

Primeval Promo

Movies:
Monsters and gods rule the SyFy Channel all day. The games and fights begin with Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God, followed by Rock Monster, Grendel, The Book of Beasts, the recent Thor: Hammer of the Gods and finally The Scorpion King. The hunt for monsters begins at 9 AM.

Sunday:

True Blood -
We need more quality time in Dallas — lots more. Let's hope the Hillbilly road show made of Eric, Sookie, Jessica and Bill can entertain us for just a little while longer, in the big bad city. Oh and if you didn't think this show could get any sexier, ED QUINN will be making his fanged debut. True Blood is on HBO at 9 PM.

True Blood Promo:

Movies:
Watch the world NOT be destroyed on the conclusion of NBC's latest campy miniseries em>Meteor on at 9 PM. Wouldn't if just be a peach if they actually let it explode?

Additional writing and reporting by Caitlin Petrakovitz.

Monday:

Spectacular Spider-Man -
At the turn of the New Year, Spidey has to take the fight to the Planner's lair, revealing the Planner's true identity in the process. But not before teen aged superhero has to navigate the murky waters of love, when Gwen is kidnapped.

Spectacular Spider-Man Promo:

Movies:

It's end-of-the-world day over at the Syfy Channel. First there's Meltdown: Days of Destruction, where the Earth moves threateningly close to the Sun. After that, Asteroid threatens the world with, what else? Asteroids, in the two-part movie starring Annabella Sciorra. All of this airs on SciFi Channel, beginning at 9:30 AM.

Tuesday:

Warehouse 13 -
Two sexy Secret Service agents are put in charge of America's storage spot for weird crap. Even though the warehouse is stocked to the brim with time traveling and shape shifting whosits and what-nots, there's still plenty of unclaimed weird objects for this good looking duo to track down, in Warehouse 13. What will they fid next? My guess is, a big steaming pile of romantic tension. It's like a sugared-up X-Files, but with steampunky gadgets. The two-hour premiere airs on the newly christened SyFy Channel, at 9 PM.

Warehouse 13 Promo:

Better Off Ted - repeat on ABC at 9 PM.

Movies:

Nic Cage's rip-off of Indiana Jones, National Treasure, is on the SyFy Channel at 6 PM.

Adam Sandler is a pawn in the ultimate procrastinator's backlash that is Click, when his living Jiminy Cricket, Christopher Walken, hands over a real-life remote control, on FX at 8 PM.

Wednesday:

Time Team America -
The series premiere chronicles various archeological digs open with a trip to North Carolina's Roanoke Island, the first settlement in North America, which disappeared suddenly. Years later, the only remaining clue was the word "Croatoan" carved into a fencepost. The dig is on PBS at 8 PM.

Time Team Preview:

Monsters Inside Me -
The show that makes you scared to go anywhere, or do anything, returns with a new episode. Scientists rush to stave off what could become the worst parasitic outbreak in history, which may or may not already be eating away your intestines. Quick, stop drinking water — germs are EVERYWHERE, on Animal Planet at 9 PM.

Monsters Inside Me Promo:

MonsterQuest -
Adventurers hunt down the wily Sasquatch, on this new episode on the History Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:

Treasure Planet, an animated scifi update of Treasure Island featuring the voice of our favorite wrecked-faced Cobra Commander, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, is on Disney XD at 5 PM.

Thursday:

Naked Science -
Scientists try to prove their hypothesis that about 500 years ago a large meteor caused a tsunami, severely changing Australia's coastline. The theories fly on National Geographic Channel at 10 PM.

Also, we'll probably get another clip from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince when Daniel Radcliffe is on Letterman, on CBS at 11:30 PM.

Movies:

Contact, the movie that refuses be constricted by things like common sense, blasts Jodie Foster off to alien worlds... or does it? Join the confused alien-stalker and her long-haired boyfriend, Matthew McConaughey, on the look out for aliens and space-bound millionaires, in Contact on TNT at 10 PM.

Friday:

Eureka -
Sheriff-no-more Jack Carter and his sharp wit return for the second half of season three as he applies for a job with the Department of Homeland Security. Meanwhile, the new sheriff in town seems to have a very robotic personality. Carter has to deal with becoming Allison's pal, as our friends who became lovers who became friends deal with Allison's baby on the way. Season 3 and a half premieres tonight on SyFy, at 9 PM.

Saturday:

Kings -
Treasonous David is on trial, and Silas hands the reins over to his son Jack. Will the pretty prince show mercy to the doe-eyed country boy? Side note, this is actually the second to last week for Kings — next week there will be a two hour farewell. And I will weep big fat tears as this beautiful show sputters out its dying breath.

Kings You Tube Good Bye:

Primeval -
You'd think these accidents the Primeval people would figure out a way to close these space-time anomalies — but no, another week another problem causes chaos on Earth. Meanwhile, Abby's brother decides to find out what she does for a living, and accidentally passes through an anomaly. Whoops. Now the team has to chase him down too, on BBC America at 9 PM.

Movies:

An all-day Harry Potter marathon is in order, before the new movie is released July 15. Harry and the Sorcerer's Stone kicks off the first three movies as they play in order on ABC Family at 12:30 PM.

Sunday:

True Blood -
Will we find out what Daphne truly is? Probably not. At least not before Sookie endangers the lives of everyone on the show one more time, just for kicks! As everyone's favorite grown-up vamp show becomes more of an ensemble effort, Sookie, Bill and Jessica travel to Dallas. And Tara hopefully gets her head screwed on straight, and Jason continues his vampire purification process. Let's go to Dallas, on HBO at 9 PM.

True Blood Promo:

Movies:

Meteor -
A curious cast of prime time favorites from long ago gathers together, to stop a giant asteroid from careening to Earth. It's like the recent TV movie Impact, only with slightly more interesting actors. Jason Alexander and Christopher Lloyd put their minds together, to stop the meteor Kassandra. Part one of the miniseries airs tonight on NBC at 9 PM.

Additional reporting by Caitlin Petrakovitz.

Monday:
Spectacular Spider-Man -
It's a Christmas-centric Spidey with Vulture, Sandman and Rhino are all bringing gifts of destruction and mayhem. What do they want in return? The beaten, broken body of high-school Spider-Man. See if they've been good villains this year, on Disney XD at 7:30 PM.

Spidey Promo:

Movies:

In Outbreak, Dustin Hoffman and Rene Russo attempt to stop the spread of a killer virus in NorCal, on AMC at 5 pm.

Tuesday:

Nova -
Have absolutely no musical talent whatsoever? (Hey, some of us aren't blessed.) Tonight on NOVA, scientists watch music's effects on four very different people, including one woman with amusia (the inability to process music). Listen in on PBS at 8 PM.

Better Off Ted -

Rejoice, nerd lovers — Phil and Lem are back, and as lovable as ever. This week, Linda has to move into Ted's office, and Lem asks Lucy out on a date. Let the romantic hilarity begin. All new episode on ABC at 9:30 PM.

Better Off Ted Promo:

Movies:

Adding fuel to the rumor mill fire, there are back-to-back Ghostbusters films tonight on AMC. The original and its sequel begin at 8 PM. Until then, enjoy this radical mash-up of NIN's "The Hand That Feeds" and the theme of the Extreme Ghostbusters cartoon.

Wednesday:

Monsters Inside Me -
There are things living inside of you, no lie they sneak into your bed and shoot eggs into your ears and crawl in and out of your mouths. In order to make sure NO ONE EVER SLEEPS AGAIN, Monsters Inside Me breaks down bugs living in people minds and in their eyes — and even helpful parasites. Enjoy this delightful show on Animal Planet, at 9 PM.

Movies:

Star Wars returns! Amid rumors that a new Star Wars tv series may be in the works, Spike is airing Episode II and Episode III beginning at 3 PM and 5:30 PM respectively. Here's the best trailer for the third ep.

Otherwise, Hugh Jackman gets hairy, showing why he got his own spin-off (which arguably began with this film). X-Men: The Last Stand airs on FX at 5:30 PM.

Thursday:

On the channel we're calling the Sci Fi Channel for just a few days more (till July 7, to be precise), there wil be a Twilight Zone marathon from 8 AM until late the 3 PM the next day.

Movies:

If you're looking for a really bad supernatural film, comparable to Catwoman, Sandra Bullock has a premonition of her husband's death in ... (wait for it) Premonition on TMC at 6 PM.

In other news (better news?), you can return to your roots with Star Wars Episode IV on Spike at 6 PM.

Friday:

It's just movie mania tonight.

Movies:

Van Helsing tracks down the Werewolves, Frankenstein and Dracula with a busty Kate Beckinsale by his side in Transylvania on FX at 6 PM. And right after, watch Kate become a vampire in Underworld: Evolution.

If continuing sagas are more your thing, Star Wars Episode V is on Spike at 6 PM.

But if you miss seeing the real Schwarzenegger Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgement Day airs on MTV at 10 PM.

Saturday:

Primeval -
This week on Primeval, insects from the the future threaten the lives of everyone in the U.K., yet again. I'm wondering why no one has ever said: "Why don't we plug up this anomaly thing, since it leads to so many problems?" Dinosaurs are fun, I guess. Primeval is on the BBC America at 8 PM.

Primeval Promo:

Kings -
In the second to last episode of the cut-too-short series, David heads out to uncover new info about his daddy's death. Back on the mainland, the royalty reacts to their son's engagement. Blame NBC for the demise of the show, at 9 PM.

Movies:

Finishing the story, Star Wars Episode VI should wrap up the week nicely on Spike at 7 PM.

Picking up where the SciFi Channel dropped the ball on the Bond theme-song debate, USA begins a Bond marathon with Dr. No at 9 AM. Throughout the day you can then watch, in order: Thunderball, The World is Not Enough, Tomorrow Never Dies, and Casino Royale. 12+ hours of Bond? What more could you ask for?

Sunday:

UPDATE: You guys are right TB is on vacation! But this is what will be coming out the following week. Many apologies!
True Blood -
The vampires are taking us all on a trip, to Dallas. Sadly old Daddy Bill has to come too and make sure nobody is having any fun, whatsoever. The next episode of True Blood heads to Texas in search of vampire murderers on HBO at 9 PM.

Movies:

There's an epic comic book movie marathon beginning with the totally-coulda-shoulda-been-better Superman Returns, followed by Fantastic Four, Spider-man 2.1, and X-Men: The Last Stand. After, if you're in the mood for some light fare, Ice Age and Ice Age 2 round out the full day of films. The world needs heroes, on FX, starting at 8 AM.

However, if you crave some pure science fiction films, the soon-to-be-Syfy Channel serves up a day of films beginning with 2007's Alien Agent, I Am Omega (an adaptation of Richard Matheson's "I Am Legend"), Blade Runner and Total Recall starting at 12 PM.

Alien Agent Trailer:

Additional reporting by Caitlin Petrakovitz.

Monday

Spectacular Spider-Man -
High School Spider-Man is back tonight, and he's bringing you two colorful animated adventures. (G-rated, of course.) In the season premiere, Spidey and his NON-Mary-Jane girlfriend Gwen are talking about their first kiss, and whether it means anything. And the second episode has Kraven...I know which one I'm watching! Catch the season premiere on Disney XD at 7 PM.

The Crumbling of America -
Scientists and historians showcase the collapse of America's infrastructure in this two hour special, while animators give us new technologies and designs to prevent problems on the History Channel at 8 PM.

Movies:
Watch pre-Donnie Darko Jake Gyllenhaal, as a 1950s teen who escapes his coal mining town on a rocket in October Sky, on AMC at 5:30 PM.

If you're not into learning about 70,000+ structurally deficient bridges in America, the best bet is following security guard Ben Stiller in the live-action version of Toy Story, Night at the Museum on FX at 8 PM.

Tuesday

Life After People -
How much rain is too much? What happens when New Orleans is flooded from rainfall, corrosion destroys the Space Needle and humidity attacks the Middle East? (What do you think happens?) Tune in on the History Channel at 10 PM.

Movies:

There's a crazy thriller film marathon on television covering, in order, 1979's Dracula, followed by Steven Spielberg's Poltergeist; Sawyer/Josh Holloway in Sabretooth, and finally, the 2004 prequel to Exorcist. It all begins on AMC at 9 AM.

Wednesday

MonsterQuest -
Do dinosaurs still exist? Weighing the evidence, the show will investigate eyewitness accounts of legendary creatures. Hmmm, dinosaurs, I'd like to see the odds on finding them, compared to capturing Big Foot.

MythBusters -
Test the theory that it's impossible to pull two phone books apart, on the Discovery channel at 9 PM.

Movies:
Arguably Halle Berry ‘s worst post-Oscar winning decision, Catwoman, is on tonight. Seriously, with a cast that included Benjamin Bratt and Sharon Stone, this should have been so much better. Watch the incredible disappearing leather catsuit on AMC at 8 PM.

And if that's not enough bad TV for ya AVP-R (Aliens Versus Predator: Requiem) is on Cinemax at 8:15 PM.

Thursday

There's a Dark Angel marathon from 8 AM until 3 PM on Syfy Channel.

Naked Science -
Despite the fact that Earth and Venus were created around the same time, we populate Earth while the sister planet is deserted. So what gives? "Earth's Evil Twin" explores the why behind the barren planet with beautiful images of her. Naked Science is on National Geographic Channel at 10 PM.

And later, Megan Fox will hopefully transform into something on Letterman. That's on CBS at 11.

Movies:

The fight over best Bond theme continues with Timothy Dalton in The Living Daylights (representing the ‘80s) pitted against Pierce Brosnan in The World is Not Enough. The mini-Bondathon begins on the SciFi Channel at 6 PM.

Garbarge theme song for TWINE:

Friday:

Virtuality airs! In case you've missed it (which is very likely as FOX has apparently been trying to bury it), the show is about the crew aboard a spaceship that's equipped with a virtual-reality device/machine/version of the holodeck. What's designed to help them survive the 10-year mission becomes a problem, when a nasty virus is discovered in the system. Now they have to fix the VR and save Earth. Tough.

What 3 Things Would You Bring With You To Space For A 10-Year Mission?
Meredith: A Case Of Tequila (all for me), Some Sort Of Pet, And One Of Those Taser Guns (seems like a good idea)

Batman The Brave And The Bold -
OMAC and Shrapnel may or may not battle to the death, as long as the Bat doesn't interfere, this week on the Cartoon Network at 8:30 PM.

Saturday:

Kings -
We get to glimpse Silas outside the confines of the palace, and Rose struggles to keep her mouth shut. Watch Silas and David go a pilgrimage-ing on NBC at 8 PM.

Primeval -
A Cretaceous dino comes through the anomaly and so does a medieval knight poised to slay a dragon. It airs on BBC America at 8 PM.

Sunday:

Prehistoric Disasters -
Did an asteroid strike kill the dinosaurs? What's the deal with dinosaurs this week? Evidence of the claim is examined on the Discovery Channel at 10 PM.

True Blood -
Sookie and Bill head out to turn to their favorite vamp for help, and the show everyone thought was about Sookie really begins to turn into an ensemble. Hopefully this week we'll finally get some of Jason's behind, on HBO at 9 PM.

Movies:

Aliens - Yes, the "s" signified a whole new film, and Sigourney Weaver will remind you why she is the only constant in the Alien films. Ripley wakes up on AMC at 8 PM.

Additional writing and reporting by Caitlin Petrakovitz.

Battlestar Galactica:

Some new details about the BSG TV movie, to be directed by Edward James Olmos and written by Jane Espenson, have emerged. As we suspected from the cast list so far, it's very cylon-centric. It deals with the attempts of the cylons, and two cylon agents in particular, to grapple with the remnants of humanity right after the cylon genicide. It takes place partly on Caprica and other planets, and partly in the fleet. [L.A. Times]

Knowing:

Knowing, the movie where Nicholas Cage finds a time capsule from 1958 that predicts everything that's happened for the past 50 years — up until the apocalypse next week — is about deep philosophical questions, says director Alex Proyas (Dark City). It's about the power of knowledge, and the responsibility that comes with hit. And the movie deliberately has a small cast, because it focuses on the relationship between Cage's character and his son, who actually finds the capsule. Also, Cage's character has lost his faith in the workings of the universe, and rediscovers his faith in the course of the movie. [Sci Fi Wire]

Sarah Connor Chronicles:

Some casting side pages for the Terminator TV show have leaked out, but some fans believe they're fake. My guess? They're real casting sides, but they don't look like actual pages from the show's script. (You can tell when casting sides are actual script pages, because the pages have the tail ends of other scenes, and stuff crossed out and scribbled on them.)

But assuming they're real casting sides for new characters in the show, the seventh episode will introduce a screwed up family in an Alpine cabin. David is a banker who's gotten involved in an illegal deal to help a tech company, Teledyne, buy another company and cover up its debts. Sarah tracks him down and asks him about it, while Terminators fight outside. Meanwhile, David's wife Anne is disappointed with her married life, and is a bit of a slut. And their daughter Laurel is a brat who uses David's computer to look at lesbian porn. (Again, these may be scenes written to try out actors, not necessarily exactly what the characters will be like in the show.) [Spoiler TV]

Sarah Jane Adventures:

Remember that two-parter we mentioned, where Sarah Jane travels back to the 1950s and meets herself as a baby, plus her parents who died when she was too young to remember? Well, here are some set pics that have just turned up. And sadly, I have to say Rose's 1950s outfit was cooler than Sarah Jane's. More pics at the link. [Cassandra O'Brian]

Fringe:

Here's a new trailer for Fringe, J.J. Abrams' new mad-science-conspiracy show, plus a viral video about "The Pattern" and sheep acting weird and the gummint and stuff.

Smallville:

Clark won't be teaming up with Jimmy for any journalism-ish stuff any time soon, but he will be doing lots of investigative journalism with Lois. [TV Guide]

Lost:

Jack and Juliet will be reunited — perhaps as soon as this coming season, sources say. And meanwhile, Juliet will play an important role in season five. [TV Guide again]

True Blood:

Here are a couple of new trailers for HBO's new series about vampires and synthetic blood.

The Middleman:

Tyler is around as Wendy's boyfriend for a while. Meanwhile, we won't witness any hanky-panky between the Middleman and Wendy's roommate Lacey "just yet," but their romantic paths will cross again soon, with an unexpected twist. [TV Guide again]

Eureka:

Nathan will be moving more towards the good side and becoming less of a divisive figure in Eureka season three, just as other people dabble with the dark side. Nathan will become more a part of Allison's life and the scientific community in general. [Media Blvd]

Spectacular Spider-Man:

Here's a first peek at the cartoon versions of Mysterio and Kraven The Hunter from the Spectacular Spider-Man animated series. [IGN]

Transformers: Animated:

A new toy gives the first glimpse of the "jet mode" of the voyager class Skywarp in Transformers: Animated. [TFormers]

Incredible Hulk:

Some new clips from Incredible Hulk went up at IGN, and here they are — including a fair bit of new footage. [IGN]

Transformers 2:

Is Optimus Prime in mourning? Apparently the Transformers 2 shooting just included a scene at Laurel Hill Cemetery in Fairmount Park, PA, where Optimus himself was hanging out. [Seibertron]

The Dark Knight:

Here's a new The Dark Knight TV spot, which reveals that some kids are annoying in the film. And the Joker makes a weird "Hmm" noise.

The Happening:

Here's a spoilery review of M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening. Bits of new information include the fact that the mass suicides start in New York's Central Park. And then a ton of construction workers jump off a high-rise. And the convoluted scientific explanation for what's going on starts emerging pretty early in the movie, mostly through long speeches by Marky Mark and an eccentric nursery owner. Marky Mark and friends stay on the run, trying to avoid the wave of suicides — and at one point, they're in a field trying to outrun the wind, and things get silly. [Fangoria]

And there are some new clips from The Happening at this link. [MovieWeb]

Hancock:

A new TV spot for Will Smith's Hancock highlights the part of the movie that makes me uneasy: the whole god-who-can't-go-near-Charlize-Theron subplot. Hancock is becoming mortal! [Worst Previews]

Star Wars: Clone Wars:

Some new Star Wars: Clone Wars desktop patterns show a new look at Obi-Wan, Ahsoka and Anakin. Plus, cute.

Doctor Who:

Here's a sneak peek from Saturday's new Doctor Who episode, the first to be written by showrunner Russell T. Davies since the series premiere. [Spoiler TV]

Lost:

I don't know if you care what Lost star Jorge Garcia thinks is going to happen next, but it sounds pretty great to me. Garcia predicts his character Hurley will have lots of buddy-comedy road-trip adventures with Sayid, who picked him up from the sanitarium in the season finale. (I would totally watch that.) And Garcia thinks the show will end with a fight over the island between different groups that lay claim to it. [E! Online]

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles:

Here's the first pic of Garbage singer Shirley Manson on the set of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, where she plays a software mogul. [Legion Of Geek]

Smallville:

Lois will only appear in 13 episodes — give or take a couple — of Smallville season eight. [TV Guide]

Chuck:

The episode ominously titled "Chuck Vs. The Breakup" will introduce a new agent named Juliette, who's 27 years old and looks ethereal, like one of the elves from Lord Of The Rings. But she's all business. The episode also features the leader of a Columbian cartel and Hans, a scary Nordic man. [TV Squad]

Spectacular Spider-Man:

Spider-Man fights Venom at last in the Spectacular Spider-Man finale. Here are some pics! Am I on crack, or does the middle one look sort of Miyazawa-esque?

I'm trying a slightly different format here. Instead of doing it by days of the week, I'm grouping things into categories. The highlights of this week's TV are:

Hulk-mania. Your screen will be green this week, as television hypes this weekend's release of The Incredible Hulk with all its might. The Sci Fi Channel is showing marathons of the Hulk TV show all day, every day, this week (including right now.) And an exclusive three-minute Hulk clip (featuring Banner's transformation) will air during Sci Fi's new Ghost Hunters episode on Wednesday at 9. (Just how badly do you want to see a Hulk clip? In any case, I have a feeling it'll turn up on various blogs, including this one, pretty quickly.) Just to top things off, Sci Fi is showing Ang Lee's Hulk movie on Thursday at 9, just to get the mutant poodle cravings out of your system before you see the new poodle-free movie.

There's more! HBO has a "First Look" special about the Hulk on Wednesday evening at 9:30. Also, Hulk star Liv Tyler is on Jimmy Kimmel's Game Night primetime special on Thursday and Regis And Kelly on Friday. And Tim Roth is on the regular Jimmy Kimmel late night show Thursday night. (I sort of vaguely remember this movie had a male lead, but I can't remember his name. And anyway, he's not doing any appearances.)

Other movie promo. HBO has a "First Look" at Get Smart tonight at 8:30. And the stars of M. Night Shyamalan's doomed R-rated disaster movie The Happening are promoting it as hard as they can: Marky Mark is on Letterman tomorrow night, Regis and Kelly Wednesday daytime and Conan O'Brien Wednesday night. And Zooey Deschanel is on Letterman Wednesday.

Battlestar's season finale. I'm just putting it out there: Friday night's Battlestar Galactica is a season finale, since the second "half" of the season won't see the light of day until 2009 by all accounts. At least the finale has the promising title of "Revelations," and unless the promo is totally deceptive (like last week's promo) we actually see the four secret cylons "come out" about their status. But here, you can watch and judge for yourself. And then tune in on Sci Fi at 10 on Friday.

Doctor Who and the labors of Hercule. This week's Doctor Who (Friday on Sci Fi at 9) is the one where he meets Agatha Christie. It's quite similar, in a way, to the ones where he meets Charles Dickens and William Shakespeare. But that doesn't make it any less entertaining, and there are some nice treats, including a weird moment with a clergyman. Here's our recap of the episode, and here's a chunk of the episode itself:

More universe-hopping fun. And before Doctor Who and BSG, Sci Fi has the second episode of South African/Canadian universe-hopping show Charlie Jade at 8 PM. Charlie starts to realize he's not in his real universe when he comes to Cape Town instead of Cape City. And his apartment is derelict and trashed. Meanwhile, the evil Corporation chooses an agent to be their emissary to the other universes.

Awesome cartoons. Saturday at 10 AM is the season finale of Spectacular Spider-Man on The CW. "Nature Vs. Nurture" deals with the running black costume/Venom storyline. Eddie Brock has finally merged with the symbiote and only has one goal in mind — to destroy Spider-Man. Also at 10 AM Saturday, there's a new Ben 10: Alien Force on the Cartoon Network: "Cash and JT steal a gauntlet from Kevin's car and decide to use it against Ben, but an evil spirit within the glove possesses Cash instead."

And at 10:30 AM Saturday on Cartoon Network, there's a new Transformers: Animated, "Autoboot Camp." Bumblebee reminisces about his days in Autobot Academy (will there be hazing? Please tell me there's hazing!) and an Autobot cadet he met named Wasp. Bumblebee learns Wasp has been sprung from prison and decides to track him down. And here's most of the episode already, presumably from its early airing overseas.
Meanwhile, am I the only person who didn't know "Weird" Al Yankovic was doing voice work for this show?

Adult swim. More awesome cartoons air Sunday night as part of Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim" block. There's a new Venture Bros. at 11:30 PM, called "The Invisible Hand of Fate" — but I couldn't find an episode description anywhere. What do they have to hide?? Also, there's a new Metalocalypse at midnight, called "Dethrace." And here's the synopsis:

Murderface plans a racing event with support from Nathan and Pickles. Meanwhile, Skwisgaar and Toki try to get licenses.

Strain yourself again. In case you missed out on the awesomeness (well, it was sorta pretty) of A&E's remake of The Andromeda Strain, it's showing during the day on Friday, at 9 AM and 2 PM. It's got Bucky balls, and Benjamin Bratt, and mopey boys on mopeds. And Will from Will and Grace running through a biohazard zone getting shot at, and somehow not dying.

Superhero movies. In case you want to channel your inner superhero-hating Nashawaty, FX is showing a bunch of recent superhero movies. On Monday, it's X2: X-Men United and Fantastic Four, on Tuesday it's Fantastic Four and Batman Begins, and on Wednesday it's Batman Begins and Hellboy.

Random other movies. Here are some of the movies on TV this week: AMC is showing WarGames today, starting at 5 PM. On Tuesday morning at 3:15, TCM is showing the awesomely titled Don't Worry, We'll Think Of A Title, a 1966 movie about a bumbling incompetent who gets mistaken for a defecting Russian cosmonaut. I'm sold. On Wednesday at 10, AMC has Species, about Gandhi facing off with a sex-hungry alien hybrid. Sci Fi is showing The Thing on Thursday at 7, which overlaps with USA's 8:30 showing of Raiders Of The Lost Ark (in case you want to remember when Indy and Marion had chemistry). And on Friday morning at 3 AM, Sci Fi is showing Momentum, about government agents chasing telekinetics. Also on Friday, at 8 PM, AMC has Escape From New York, and USA has Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom at 8:30 PM. On Saturday, Sci Fi is showing disaster movies, with titles like Tornado Terror, all day.

Inspiring documentary. On Sunday night, The Discovery Channel has another four hours of its mega-documentary When We Left Earth, which cover everything from the Apollo 1 disaster to Skylab to the moon landing. It starts at 9 PM and goes on until 1 AM. Here's a trailer:

Scary documentaries. There's a new Mega Disasters, all about "Volcanic Winter," on the History Channel on Tuesday at 9. Could a super-volcano cover us in so much ash we'd be stuck in a deadly ice age? (And History has reruns of The Universe and UFO Files tonight.) And there's a new MonsterQuest, about ghosts, on Wednesday night at 9. If that's not daring and inquiring enough for you, the Discovery Channel has a new documentary on Wednesday called simply, Mars: Alive? (As in, is the whole planet actually sentient, and out to get us? One can only hope.) Actually, I think it's about the Phoenix lander.

The Dark Knight:

Here's a new featurette about the Imax filming in The Dark Knight, which includes some new footage of Harvey Dent playing with his psychotic good/evil coin. (A lot of it is stuff you've seen before, but there's a few new bits.) [Comcast via Slashfilm]

Incredible Hulk:

Some early Incredible Hulk reviews are up at Ain't It Cool News, with a few random spoilers. Jokes include Bruce and Betty misusing a Spanish word and (unless I misunderstood) the phrase "You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry!"

The Hulk (voiced by Lou Ferrigno) actually says "Hulk smash!" The Hulk realizes at some point towards the end of the movie that he can control his inner beast and not become totally evil like the Abomination, the film's other big green guy. And yeah, Tony Stark turns up towards the end and says, "We're putting together a team." [Ain't It Cool News]

Fringe:

Here are some pics of Fringe, J.J. Abrams' new weird-science-conspiracy show, that I don't think we've posted before. [Daemon's TV]

Smallville:

Some more casting news for Smallville season eight. Green Arrow/Oliver Queen will be a series regular this time around, and storylines will focus on who he is and where he comes from. And there's more confirmation that Lana will be in six or seven episodes next season. [E! Online]

Doctor Who:

Doctor Who's annual "Doctor-lite" episode, where star David Tennant takes a week off, is actually sounding pretty intriguing this year. Here's the official synopsis: "Donna's entire world collapses, but there's no sign of the Doctor, as Russell T Davies's Bafta Award-winning time-travelling drama continues. Instead, she finds help from a mysterious blonde woman – a traveller from a parallel universe. But, as Donna and Rose Tyler combine forces, are they too late to save the whole of creation from the approaching darkness?" [Spoiler TV]

Spectacular Spider-Man:

The studio sent us some more promo pics from Spectacular Spider-Man, showing how the alien black costume starts taking over Spidey gradually — you can see the costume's pattern change from the traditional webbed background with a smaller white spider to a bigger spider with no webs. And then here's also a better quality pic of Venom.

Chuck:

It looks like Bryce, Chuck's ex-friend who stuck him with the spy directory in his brain, is back in the third episode of the new season. Bryce comes to Chuck, Sarah and Casey, asking for help to get a decrypted microchip from a man named Von Hayes, before the evil Fulcrum can get their hands on it. Bryce and Sarah go undercover at a party thrown by Von Hayes, making Chuck so jealous he almost blows his cover as a waiter at the party. Sarah gets put out of commission, but Chuck brokers a deal for the microchip — but things don't entirely go to plan.

Meanwhile, Buy-Rite has a new manager, Emmett, who's an "efficiency expert" from corporate HQ. And Lester has newfound upper management skills, which he uses to force Morgan to take on an unpleasant task — getting the guys from the SportsJocks store to stop using the home theater room as their personal frat house. But the lead SportsJock disses Anna, and all bets are off. [Chuck TV]

Incredible Hulk:

Incredible Hulk director Louis Leterrier answered fans' questions in a new videocast, and mentioned that the movie definitely sets up Sam Sterns (aka The Leader) as the villain in a potential sequel. [Comics2Film]

Which brings me to a post by someone who claims to have seen the new Hulk movie. He says there's a scene where Sterns (who tries to help cure Banner from being the Hulk) helps Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth) become the Abomination using super-soldier serum. And there's an accident where some of the serum gets into an open wound in Sterns' head. We see his head swell up with extra brainpower, and he gives an eerie smile, before the camera cuts away.

Also, supposedly Banner kills two scientists when he first becomes the Hulk (and hospitalizes his girlfriend Betty, as we'd mentioned.) And Banner flees to Brazil, where he learns meditation from "MMA legend Rickson Gracie," who slaps him around to test his control. (Gracie isn't in the cast listing on IMDB, FWIW.) And as previously reported, Banner works in a bottling plant, but a drop of his Gamma-tinged blood gets in one of the drinks he's bottling — which ends being drunk by Stan Lee, in a cameo. (Lee gets Gamma poisoning, so the military deduce Banner's location.) We see a Hulk's eye view of jumping away from the fight in Brazil, and the next thing you know, he's in Guatemala.

You don't see much of the Hulk except in shadows until around halfway through the movie, and it's mostly about Banner. Banner is homeless and on the run, like a junkie. And there's a recurring thread of Banner having trouble buying pants that are stretchy enough not to break completely when he Hulks out. At one point, Betty buys him stretchy purple pants, and he gives them the thumbs down. (No idea if this guy actually saw the film, or if he's just stringing together stuff we already knew, with some new details. The thing about pants is a nice touch though.) [Sherdog Mixed Martial Arts Forum]

Hancock:

Here's a new clip from Hancock that aired on yesterday's Ellen show, which gives away a bit more about his origins (which we've already covered before.) [CanMag]

Death Race:

We already gave a detailed look at the new cars in Death Race, Jason Statham's prisoners-forced-to-drive-in-deadly-race movie that's barely an homage to Death Race 2000. Here are a few more details. The movie only takes place about five years in the future, after an economic meltdown. The race happens within the prison grounds, once a year, and is broadcast via the internet. The most popular racer, who wears a Frankenstein mask, gets killed by accident, so warden Joan Allen "arranges" for Statham to become the new Frankenstein. The track has little steel symbols, and if you drive over them, your car gets shields or weapons — just like in a video game. But you don't want to run over a death's head symbol, or your weapons may stop working and spikes may appear in the road. The biggest, scariest vehicle is a truck called the Dreadnought.
Allen's character, Warden Hennessy, wears furs, makeup and jewelry, but walks through the yard unmolested. Statham's character, Jensen, gets into a fight with Aryan Brotherhood members in the mess hall. Jensen's mentor is "Coach" (Ian MacShane) and his main rival is Machine Gun Joe (Tyrese Gibson). Jensen's navigator is Case, a female prisoner from a nearby women's prison. (All the navigators are women.) And Jensen keeps a picture of the daughter who was taken away from him. [JoBlo]

And here's how Statham describes the movie's setup in a new interview:

Something happens that he gets sent to prison. It's all to do with the murder of his wife and his young daughter gets taken into foster care. And so he is in prison trying to clear his name. The best way he can - no one is interested in listening to that story. So the only way he can find a way to exit that hellhole is to win five races, and he takes on the persona of Frankenstein, which is a creation that the evil Hennessy has brought to everyone's attention through the masses of the Internet. He has to take the place of Frankenstein because the real Frankenstein is dead.

He also notes that his car has tinted glass, so nobody can see inside. That means he doesn't have to wear the Frankenstein mask while he's driving. [UGO]

Iron Man 2:

Producer Peter Billingsley dropped a few very minor hints for Iron Man 2, including the idea that it's about Tony Stark's weapon-making dad. (Which I had not heard before.) And we'll see "more of the dark side of Tony." [Superhero Hype, via Comic Book Resources]

Transformers 2:

More set pics from Transformers 2 have shown up, with more helicopters-over-steel-mill action. The Bethlehem steel mill is still doubling as a Chinese plant and there are tons of people with masks fleeing the chaos. Supposedly this is from the movie's opening sequence. And here's a bit of local news station video of the shooting. [Film School Rejects and IESB]

Dollhouse:

Some new FAQs have surfaced about Joss Whedon's new programmable-puppets show Dollhouse. Most people believe the Dollhouse, where you can hire a beautiful young person to be anyone/anything you want, is a myth, but Agent Paul Ballard (Tahmoh Penikett) is investigating it. It's either near-future or present day, and we see no technological advances beyond the Dollhouse's mind-wiping and personality-imprinting.

The programmable "Actives" all supposedly volunteered for this gig, but it's possible some of them didn't really volunteer. They're supposed to retire after five years, fabulously wealthy and unaware of what they've been doing all this time. But they don't know what they actually signed up for, and there's no guarantee they'll be let go after five years. The Dollhouse has been around long enough to have an Active (named Alpha) go insane.

Here's something Topher, the geek who programs the Actives, tells Boyd, their handler, after Boyd raises concerns about the Actives' ability to give informed consent: "Nonsense. We walk the wire, Friend-man. We live in the Dollhouse. Which makes us dolls, and the people playing with us, little children. Children break their toys, Boyd." [Pink Raygun]

Meanwhile, the show's awesome fansite Dollverse has a couple of new gorgeous looking set pics, along with some other pics and a review of the first episode. Apparently the show's first 10 minutes are very, very confusing. [Dollverse]

Lost:

The "Lost Answers Show" on Britain's Sky One gave a few hints about season five after the season four finale aired. Some of them were tongue-in-cheek, like J.K. Rowling writing the next season or a whole season of island zombies. (I think.) But others were serious, like the idea that Christian Shepard will be more important next year, and so will Ben and Charles Widmore. And actor Michael Emerson still thinks Ben will wind up being a hero. And the smoke monster is "misunderstood." [Spoilers Lost]

Battlestar Galactica:

Here's a new clip from Friday night's Battlestar Galactica episode, which pretty much confirms the spoilers we already posted a while back. [Cinemablend]

Meanwhile, there's a new rumor that the original human-Cylon hybrid we saw in the Razor TV movie is actually what's left of Daniel Graystone, the creator of the Cylons who stars in the new prequel show Caprica. (I'm not sure how we would ever get confirmation of this — presumably Caprica won't show him becoming the hybrid, or at least not until the very final episode?) [SyFyPortal]

Spectacular Spider-Man:

Yesterday we showed you a still from Saturday's Spectacular Spider-Man episode, showing the Spider-Man in his alien symbiote black costume, with the beginnings of a "wardrobe malfunction." Now here's the first actual picture of Venom, the villain Spidey's black suit turns into after it merges with Eddie Brock. [TV Guide]

Star Trek:

The IMDB page for J.J. Abrams' Star Trek movie is full of spoilers. (Assuming it's accurate. How trustworthy is IMDB?) First of all, Winona Ryder plays Spock's mother, Amanda Grayson — a human, just like on the TV series. (There were reports a while back that she was playing a Vulcan, which made no sense.) Greg Ellis plays "Chief Engineer Olson," who may be Scotty's predecessor as chief engineer of the Enterprise. Ben Cross plays Spock's dad Sarek, and there's also an "Uncle Frank," who could be Kirk's uncle. There's a "Flirty Cadette," who probably flirts with Kirk.

And then there are the aliens. Rachel Nichols plays "Orion," which I'm guessing is a species, not a name, and Diora Baird plays "The Green Girl." Green dancing women, anyone? Lucia Rijker plays "Romulan CO." There are "Vulcan Bully" #1, #2 and #3, which makes me think we'll see the scene where Spock gets teased by his fellow Vul-kids for being half human. (Which was in the animated series already.) There's also a Vulcan Elder. And then there's Klingon Guard #1.

Most shocking alien race mentioned in the cast credits: Kelvin Alien #1. Are we really going to see the return of those uptight peeps from Andromeda, with the belt buckles that turn you into bath salts? Really? Update: As various people have pointed out, this is actually an alien from the U.S.S. Kelvin, not one of those aliens, known as the Kelvans. (Which means I've been spelling it wrong forever, and so have lots of other people.) [IMDB]

Meanwhile, Uhura actor Zoe Saldana gave another interview, with one new piece of information: She does say "Hailing frequencies open" in the new movie. [Coming Soon]

Transformers 2:

Cinemablend got more new pics of the filming of Transformers 2, involving some attack helicopters flying over a steel plant in Bethlehem, PA.
[Cinemablend]

Meanwhile, actor Matthew Marsden will play a British special forces commando named Graham, who teams up with Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson to fight the Decepticons all over the world, in this more globe-trotting sequel. [MTV Movies]

The Middleman:

The Middleman, the new superhero show from Javier Grillo-Marxuach (Lost), features a wholesome, milk-drinking gunslinger, The Middleman, fighting crime and "goofy CGI monsters." Wendy, his sidekick, is also his office temp. And Grillo-Marxuach mentions several times the show is light and fun. And fun. [Spoiler TV]

Fringe:

Here are some spoilers for the pilot of Fringe, J.J. Abrams' not-really-X-Files show, which honestly I think are all stuff we've posted before. But just in case, here they are. [Spoiler Geeks]

Lost:

I was wrong when I said there would be no more Lost spoilers for a while. First of all, there's reassurance that Jin totally survived that freighter explosion, without a scratch. He was in the hold, while Michael was up on deck. And in case you missed it, Claire will be absent during season five, but will be back in full force for season six. And that was totally the real, corporeal Ben in the funeral parlor at the end of the episode — he's probably been off the island since 2005, operating in the "real world." [E! Online again]

Smallville:

With Lex, Lana and Kara gone, who's going to scowl at Clark on Smallville next season? Turns out Green Arrow will be around a lot. Like, in almost every episode. [E! Online]

Doctor Who:

Still wondering about the little girl in last Saturday's episode of time-travel adventure show Doctor Who? Apparently she transforms into something in this Saturday's episode, and it involves something being stuck to the actress with glue, with makeup that needs to be activated with rubbing alcohol. [Planet Gallifrey]

Oh and here's today's crazy Doctor Who rumor: the TARDIS control room gets totally trashed, and the Doctor rebuilds it... as a retro steampunk control room. Sort of like the 1996 TV movie version, or the wooden version from 1977, only with more brass cogs and big levers. [Doctor Who Forum]

Torchwood:

Just a random observation: Martha Jones will most likely not be a regular character in season three of Torchwood after all, since actor Freema Agyeman just signed on to star in the remake of Terry Nation's post-apocalyptic show The Survivors. [Den Of Geek]

Stargate: Atlantis:

This is the year we pursue romance on Stargate: Atlantis, producers tell TV Guide. (With newly regular actor Jewel Staite? Pls??) As the season begins, pregnant Teyla is held hostage by Michael, a vengeful Wraith, while the rest of the cast is buried under rubble. And as we've mentioned, Woolsey (Robert Picardo) arrives to take charge, and at some point a galactic coalition holds Atlantis accountable for its supposed crimes. [Spoiler TV]

Spectacular Spider-Man:

Which villain does Spider-Man face in this Saturday's Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon? Here's a clue:

It's no coincidence that Prince's cousin started using heroin in the month of June, because there's just nothing on television. It was probably even worse back in 1987, before we had the Sci Fi Channel.

Monday:

The Sci Fi Channel has started showing Star Trek: The Next Generation on Monday nights, with four episodes in a row focusing on the bland life and tragic death of Tasha Yar: "The Naked Now," "The Big Goodbye," "Arsenal Of Freedom" and "Skin Of Evil."

Tuesday:

There are two episodes of Mega Disasters on the History Channel at 8 PM Tuesday night — a rerun about a possible asteroid impact on the Earth, and a new episode about a "Comet Storm." Basically if you want to spend two hours feeling total panic about stellar objects smashing into your backyard and giving us the dinosaur treatment, then it's a date. (With no president Morgan Freeman or oil-rigging Bruce Willis to distract you.)

Wednesday:

There's a new MonsterQuest on Wednesday at 9 on the History Channel. "Vampire Beast" tracks down the truth about a beast that could be more than human. Or not. Here's the description:

In the fall of 2007, residents of Bolivia, North Carolina started losing pets and farm animals to an unknown creature. Is it the same mystery predator with a taste for blood that preyed on goats and dogs in Bolivia more than 50 years ago?

The Day After Tomorrow also airs on Wednesday at 5:30 on FX.

Also, John Cho is on Last Call With Carson Daly. Will he let slip some Star Trek spoilers?

Thursday:

I'm sorry. I'm so terribly sorry. There is a Smallville rerun in which Clark's super-cousin Kara tries out for a beauty pageant, if that helps. I know, not really.

Friday:

Sci Fi Channel has the U.S. premiere of Charlie Jade, a Canadian/South African show about a detective who sees alternate universes, at 8 PM Friday. I haven't yet seen any episodes, but this site says it's very very noir, with a strong Blade Runner/Frank Miller element going on. In a nutshell, a detective named Charlie Jade (my almost-namesake) discovers that there are three different Earths: the corporate-dominated dystopia he lives on, a perfect unspoiled paradise, and "our" world. The corporate-dominated world wants to ravage the unspoiled one, and ours just gets caught in the crossfire.

And then at 9 PM, Sci Fi is showing another new (to Americans) episode of Doctor Who, "The Doctor's Daughter." Humans are stuck in an endless war against bubbly fish people, and the Doctor has a daughter. (It's not a spoiler if it's the title of the episode. I think.) It's a fun episode, but ultimately falls a bit short because it's trying to juggle too many ideas. Our recap is here. Here's a piece of the episode:

And then at 10 PM, there's a new Battlestar Galactica: "The Hub." If the spoilers we ran for this episode a while back turn out to be true, this could be a pretty explosive one that changes everything forever. In any case, we find out what happened to Roslin, and Xena is back.

Saturday:

Saturday at 10, there's a new Spectacular Spider-Man on The CW. It's called "Intervention," and it deals with the Venom symbiote, which is trying to take over Spidey. Meanwhile, Aunt May is in the hospital, and Pete's friendship with Eddie is ruined.

At exactly the same time, on the Cartoon Network, there's a new Ben 10: Alien Force, "What Are Little Girls Made Of?" Ben and Gwen discover that their grandmother is an alien. And Gwen has to make a tough decision. And at 10:30 on Cartoon, the new Transformers: Animated has an awesome title: "S.U.V.: Society Of Ultimate Villainy," which we posted spoilers from before. Here is a clip, from its earlier airing in Dubai:

Saturday night, Sci Fi has two different original TV movies: Dog Soldiers and Bloodsuckers.

Sunday:

The Discovery Channel has the first two episodes (four hours worth) of When We Left The Earth: The NASA Missions. It's a bizarre history of NASA's first 50 years, featuring new footage in HD quality. Witness the first ever spacewalk, and the hair-raising challenges of converting an intercontinental ballistic missile into a vessel capable of carrying humans up into space.

Also, the Cartoon Network has new episodes of Venture Bros. and Metalocalypse at 11:30 and midnight, as part of its "Adult Swim" lineup. The Venture Bros. episode, "The Doctor Is Sin," shows what happens when a deal with General Manhowers falls through. Dr. Venture may have to sell the Venture Compound — unless he can turn it into a super-efficient science machine. And then the Metapocalypse episode, "Dethgov," is about Nathan Explosion serving a temporary term as governor of Florida. (Thanks Lampbane!)

Incredible Hulk:

IGN got to see some Incredible Hulk footage that explains how the movie will deal with retelling the Hulk's origin in the wake of the Ang Lee movie. The movie's opening credits show footage of gamma-irradiated cells dividing and looking all green and sciencey. Then we cut to Ed Norton in his Science Chair, preparing to Gamma-blast himself as part of an experiment in upgrading his strength, while Betty (Liv Tyler) watches through a window. Then we see the Hulk's hand clawing through the rubble of the lab. Betty gets injured, and her dad General Ross comes in and gets smacked too. Then Betty's in the hospital in a coma, and Bruce (back to normal) is guilt-ridden. General Ross is upset about the failed experiment and doesn't want Bruce anywhere near his daughter, so Bruce goes on the run.

And then we see a montage of newspaper headlines as General Ross hunts for the Hulk, including "GREEN BIGFOOT SPOTTED," plus memos from Nick Fury's desk. And there are crates of Stark Industries weapons (I thought Tony stopped making those?) The whole sequence ends with Bruce waking up, as if from a nightmare. He uses a metronome to calm himself.

Then later, the army tracks down Bruce in Brazil and he runs away, wearing his red hoodie of concealment. He runs into some thugs, who decide to beat him up — so he has to use martial arts to stop them without turning Hulky. He has a wristwatch that monitors his heart rate so he can avoid rising into the Hulk zone. But finally when he's cornered by the army and the local hoodlums, Bruce turns into the Hulk — and dispenses the smackdown.

Also, TV Hulk Lou Ferrigno has two cameos: one is as a security guard who tries to keep Bruce (disguised as a pizza guy) from getting into a science building, only to be bribed with an extra pizza. And yes, the rumor is true: Lou really did dub a few lines of dialogue for the Hulk to speak, which were processed to sound more Hulk-y.

And then there's a sequence where Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth) is starting to turn into the Abomination, with spikes sticking out of him. One of his fellow soldiers asks how he's feeling, and he says "Like a monster." Meanwhile, a scientist named Samuel Sterns (who's the evil Leader in the Hulk comics) prepares to administer a Hulk-antidote to Bruce — but for the antidote to work, Sterns has to shock Bruce into becoming the Hulk first.

In another scene, the army throws Bruce out of a helicopter, his hands shackled — in the hope that the fall will get him excited enough to turn into the Hulk and stop the rampage of the Abomination. (Thus overcoming the "cure" that Sterns administered.) But Bruce remains way too calm as he plummets, until he finally opens his eyes and says "Oh, shit." He makes a huge crater... and the pissed-off Hulk climbs out of it. The Abomination and the Hulk collide, with the impact knocking the Hulk back hundreds of feet. [IGN, which has tons more details.]

Transformers 2:

Some new Transformers 2 casting calls have come out. They're looking for extras for a scene set in a Washington, D.C. museum. And a ton of extras for other scenes, especially college-age people. And supposedly star Shia LaBoeuf will be filming a scene at UPenn's Castle Fraternity. [Superhero Hype]

Dragonball:

Some new minor Dragonball spoilers, including the fact that Goku will wear his "classic fighting outfit." And Goku's best friend is named Teto instead of Krillin, as in the original. Chi Chi and Mai fight in the tournament, and Chi Chi wins. [Dragonball Cinema via Comic Book Movie]

Doctor Who:

Tons of new spoilers for Saturday's new Doctor Who episode, and for a change they're from a semi-reputable source. The Daily Mirror newspaper says the "Time Lord is getting a Time Lady," in the form of River Song, the archeologist played by Alex Kingston. (I may be alone in this, but I think the "Time Lady" just means "Time Lord's girlfriend" in this context, not that River is herself a Time Lord.) And yes, it's supposedly true that River reveals that she and the Doctor have a hot romance at some point in his future. And the two of them do have a love story that plays out over the course of two episodes. [The Daily Mirror]

Responding (I think) to those spoilers, one guy on Livejournal says:

it's almost literally like I'm covered in bees. WHY, STEPHEN MOFFAT?! WHY MUST YOU BETRAY MY TRUST WITH BAD FANFICTION?!?! DO NOT WAAAAAANT!!!!

And Digital Spy is once again doing their obnoxious thing of posting real spoilers mixed in with fake ones. Off the top of my head, we already know there are two sonic screwdrivers in the episode (and apparently they don't work on wood.) And we already know the Doctor meets a "figure from his future" (the aforementioned River Song.) And it makes sense that the Doctor "rants against reading spoilers," since knowing your own future can be dangerous. It'll be interesting if the one about former prime minister Harriet Jones' biography having a shocking title turns out to be true. [Digital Spy]

Also, a few more snippets: something terrible happened in the 51st. century library in the past, and that's why it's deserted. And there's a "not very bright girl" named Miss Evangelista. [CBBC]

And here's a new clip from the episode. [Doctor Who Hideout]

Lost:

Here are seven (!) new clips from Thursday night's Lost season finale:

Spectacular Spider-Man:

Spider-Man's enemy gang the Sinister Six will be appearing in this Saturday's episode of Spectacular Spider-Man, and here are a few stills:

Tonight

The History Channel is re-running a special called Star Wars Tech at 8 PM.

Take a look at the technology shown throughout the six Star Wars films and examine their viability through the eyes of cold hard science. Could a Death Star really be built? Can you build an army of clones? What is 3-D imaging, and where can you get a Light Saber? Travel to a galaxy far, far away to answer all of these questions and more.

Tuesday

There's a new Nova on PBS: "Lord Of The Ants." Which makes me think of Michael Flatley and a bunch of ants in spangly tops clogging really quickly to some celtic folk-rock. But it's actually about the Mofu people of Cameroon, and their "unlikely alliance" with giant killer ants. Plus biologist E.O. Wilson's theories about ants. Check your local listings for times.

If you're ditching work, you have to choose between two movies, both
airing at 10 AM: Not Of This Earth on Sci Fi and Starship Troopers on TBS. What will you do? You may have to go to the office just to avoid the dilemma.

Also, Harrison Ford is on Letterman talking up the new Indiana Jones movie. Hopefully he'll look a little less embarrassed than he did on Good Morning America last Friday. Lost's Matthew Fox is also on Jimmy Kimmel Live, where he will probably try not to talk about Speed Racer.

Wednesday

PBS has a two-hour special called Depression: Out Of The Shadows, which I'm expecting to delve into some pretty science fictional themes, including the widespread use of brain-altering drugs by the population. Plus brain scans, and maybe electro-shock therapy. But yes, it will be somewhat depressing and feature wailing music. Here's a trailer:

If you're that rare person who A) cares about Lost and B) hasn't been keeping up with Lost, ABC is showing two recent episodes at 8: "Something Nice Back Home" and "Cabin Fever." And ABC Family is showing the 1998 U.S. version of Godzilla at 7 PM. It's got Matthew Broderick — how bad can it be?

And Harrison Ford continues his talk-show sweep, hitting Conan O'Brien.

Thursday

The History Channel has another new Mega Disasters, "Volcanic Winter," at 9 PM. Here's the damage:

The largest volcanic eruption of the past two million years occurred on the Indonesian island of Sumatra, 75,000 years ago. The impact from the super volcano Toba decimated the local habitat, but gas, ash and debris from Toba made their way around the planet and formed a shield in the atmosphere that deflected the sun's warming rays. Temperatures plummeted and the planet was thrown into a volcanic winter and may have even pushed the planet into an ice age. 3-D computer animation will recreate the storm and unveil how this one volcano could have brought humanity to the edge of extinction.

Also, the CW has a Smallville rerun, "Bizarro," at 8 PM.

AMC is showing science fiction movies pretty much all day, with Beneath The Planet Of The Apes at 9:15, The Lost World (the 1960 movie about dinosaurs and hot-pink dresses) at 11:15, The Thing at 1:15, The Day The Earth Stood Still at 3:30, Planet of the Apes at 5:30 and Jurassic Park at 8.

At 7:15, TCM has a documentary, Spielberg On Spielberg, followed by Close Encounters of the Third Kind at 9. And at 10 AM, TBS has Batman and Robin — which I think you guys voted the worst science fiction movie sequel of all time.

Guess who's on Regis And Kelly? Harrison Ford! Somebody is really nervous about whether people will come out to see Indiana Jones.

Friday

Why is the Sci Fi Channel taking a week off from its unstoppable Friday night block? I don't know, but they are. Instead, they're showing their usual diet of crappy movies: Meltdown: Days Of Destruction, Solar Attack, Scorcher, Fire Serpent... Aaaaa!

But fear not. IFC is showing the award-winning Icelandic film Paranoia 1.0, otherwise known as One Point Oh, starring Jeremy Sisto, Deborah Kara Unger and Lance Henriksen. A young computer programmer named Simon starts receiving weird empty packages in his apartment. He investigates, and discovers that stuff going on in his building includes an artificially intelligent robot head named Adam, a virtual reality sex game, and an evil company that may be conspiring against him. Simon's grip on reality gets more and more tenuous, and his craving for fresh milk increases. Creepy! That's at 9 PM.

Harrison Ford is on The View, and this time he's got Karen Allen (Marion Ravenwood) with him. That could actually be sort of interesting. And Battlestar Galactica's Tricia Helfer is on The Late Show With Craig Ferguson.

At 12:20 Saturday morning, Cinemax has a movie with the intriguing title of Super Ninja Bikini Babes. You pretty much know, after reading that title, whether this is your type of movie. Apparently a coed discovers an alternate universe. A universe... of bikinis.

Saturday

Both Spectacular Spider-Man episodes on The CW starting at 9:30 are reruns. Sorry. And so is this week's Ben 10: Alien Force on the Cartoon Network.

But at least there's a new Transformers: Animated: "Rise Of The Constructicons." Finally, we're getting somewhere. A couple of construction vehicles get brought to life by the Allspark. Bulkhead makes friends with them, but the Decepticons want them to help with a new construction project. (It's a patio, I bet.) That's at 10:30 on the Cartoon Network. Also new (to Americans) is an episode of French cartoon Robotboy at 11:30 on Cartoon.

Sick of Harrison Ford yet? A&E is re-running his Biography episode at 7 AM, followed by Shia LaBoeuf's at 8 AM.

And there's a rerun of another Star Wars documentary, Star Wars: Empire Of Dreams, on A&E at 11 AM. It's followed by Sphere and Alien: Resurrection.

Sunday

Spike has the original Predator, with Arnold Schwartzenegger versus an invisible hunter-killer alien, at 3:30 PM. FX is showing League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen at 5 PM, if you're feeling masochistic.

At least next week, there'll be stuff again. Lost will have its two-hour season finale, and Battlestar Galactica will be back. And A&E will be showing its four-hour Andromeda Strain miniseries on Monday and Tuesday nights at 9. Hang in there.

Transformers 2:

Transformers 2 put out a casting call for Asians, aged 5 to 65, for an upcoming shoot in the Bethlehem, PA area. Bonus points for Asians with military experience. [Heery Casting, via Comic Book Resources]

Dragonball:

Here's another image of Justin Chatwin as Goku (and Emmy Rossum as Bulma) from the Dragonball movie. [First Showing]

Dollhouse:

Hey, here's a new clip from Joss Whedon's new show Dollhouse, all about the mindwiped zombies who can be anyone you want them to be — if you've got the money. Tahmoh Penikett from Battlestar Galactica looks pretty studly in that suit. But other than that, this scene merely confuses the heck out of me — what's the subplot about Echo (Eliza Dushku)'s sister? Is this Echo's "real" personality or just one of her programmed personas? Who sent Echo's photo to Tahmoh? Some of these things will probably make sense when we watch the episode (I hope) but others will probably be deep chocolately mysteries. Only, what, seven or eight months until it starts? [Seat42F, via Galactica Sitrep]

And here are a few new spoilers from the pilot, some of which aren't that surprising. The "personality imprint" the Actives (like Echo) receive includes muscle memory, so they can perform complex tasks. The Actives have Handlers, who monitor their missions internally and remotely. The Handlers won't eavesdrop on a mission unless it involves illegal activity. And after each mission, the Active will feel a burning need to return to the Dollhouse to be wiped. Supposedly the Actives volunteered to live in the Dollhouse — and at the end of five years, they receive a ridiculously large sum of money, with no memory of what they did during that time. The Actives' missions are only supposed to last 10 hours, or the "Imprint" gets strained. But lately, some missions have been lasting much longer. [Pink Raygun]

Doctor Who:

Rumors about the Doctor Who season four finale continue to spread, with people citing very reliable sources. People are still claiming that Harriet Jones (former prime minister of England) becomes a super-Dalek, Davros is back, and there's "war on Skaro." Oh, and we'll also see more of Dalek Caan, the last survivor from the "pig slaves" episode. He's been battered and chained up and half-dismantled and attached to cables and the mutant inside is exposed.

And now there's a persistent rumor that we'll see a smidgen of Paul McGann — who played the Doctor in the 1996 TV movie — teaming up with David Tennant in one of the 2009 one-off specials. Seems unlikely, but the rumors are persistent. [Doctor Who Forum]

Lost:

The "spectacular kiss" in the Lost season finale (two weeks from last night) takes place between Sawyer and Kate. And here's a picture of it, from the promo that aired last night:

Spectacular Spider-Man:

Oh, and speaking of "spectacular," here are some new images from Saturday's Spectacular Spider-Man, including more images of the Black Cat in action. Apparently she tries to steal the Venom symbiote and "gets the drop" on Peter Parker. Says writer Matt Wayne, in a release:

Black Cat is definitely flirting with him - she doesn't know that he's only 15 - so she considers him a man, she assumes he's available, she's going for it, and he's reacting like a 15-year-old... Considering what Peter Parker has been through the whole season, I think it's great we can throw another girl on the fire and have him react this way. It's really capturing what it feels like to be a 15-year-old boy.

X-Men: Magneto:

In addition to the Wolverine prequel to the X-Men movies now filming, there's also a Magneto prequel in the pipeline. And apparently it will feature a young version of the Beast aka Hank McCoy, the blue-furred, leaping mutant with the thesaurus-boosted vocabulary. No word on who will step into Kelsey Grammer's blue makeup for the film. The special effects house doing Hellboy II and Land Of The Lost had a test photo of the young Beast, and confirmed it was from Magneto. [Latino Review]

Smallville:

Remember those Smallville casting sides we mentioned the other day? About two new characters, Davis Bloome and Tess? Well, it turns out Davis Bloome, the charming bartender, is actually Doomsday, the alien destructo-monster who killed Superman in the comics. Why is Doomsday working in a bar? It's Smallville: Everybody's just a little bit less awesome than in the comics.

Meanwhile, Tess is someone who was trained by Lex and is totally devoted to him. She has super-strength and is willing to use coercion or "seduction" to further the missing Lex's agenda. Nobody can resist her beguiling ways, even Clark. Tess doesn't remember anything from before the day she met Lex, and when she realizes her past is buried, she's desperate to retrieve it. (I'm still wondering if she's Maxima. Or some other random woman from the Superman mythos.)

Also, there's an update on whether Alison Mack will be back as Chloe next season. The current thinking is she may copy Kristin Kreuk (Lana) and only return for a handful of episodes. [Ask Ausiello]

And here's a somewhat spoilery video from tomorrow night's season finale. [Turkey Whisperer]

Spectacular Spider-Man:

Here are four new images from this Saturday's Spectactular Spider-Man, including the Black Cat, voiced by Tricia Helfer. Spidey has to team up with the Black Cat to clear his name after the Chameleon goes around committing crimes disguised as him. Also, it looks like we get our first glimpse of the Venom symbiote, contained in Curt Connors' lab. [Black Cat image from TV Guide]

Lost:

The "spectacular kiss" in the Lost season finale actually stops time for a moment. (Or maybe that's a metaphor.) And it makes the entire world vanish. Also, there's a lot of bloodshed in the season finale, and a very significant death. And we won't be seeing Libby this season. [Ask Ausiello]

Also, "Horace," the guy who built the cabin, and "Jacob," are played by the same actor according to IMDB — so maybe they're the same person? [Looking Glass Station]

At the ABC upfront, they showed a scene from tomorrow night's Lost in which the Oceanic Six land in a small plane, to face the waiting hordes of press reps. And Michelle Forbes (Admiral Cain from Battlestar Galactica) is the Oceanic Airlines rep, in stiletto heels. Everyone has family greeting them, except Kate and Sayid. Admiral Cain tells the Six they can duck out on meeting the press if they want, but Jack says they'll answer any questions the press has. If the press asks anything tough, they'll say they're in shock. Sun replies that they actually are in shock. [E! Online]

And here are a couple more sneak peeks from tomorrow's Lost episode, plus stills from both tomorrow's episode (the press conference) and the two-hour finale, coming in two weeks (the beach scenes). [Spoilers Lost]

Tonight

Tonight sees the two-hour season premier of American Gladiators on NBC. This show is set in a bleak future dystopia where a drugged populace watches people compete in brutal events like "Rocketball" and "Vertigo," where survival is the greatest prize. Oh, wait.... never mind. If you like your contests of life and death a little more fictional, AMC is showing Terminator 2 at 8 PM.

Shia LaBoeuf is on Letterman tonight at 11:30ish, talking about Indiana Jones and explaining why he thought it was a great idea to play a "swashbuckling biker" named Mutt.

Tuesday

Shia LaBoeuf continues his TV rampage by appearing on Good Morning America, along with William Shatner.

The History Channel has two episodes of Mega Disasters at 8 and 9 PM, including a new episode, "Mega Tsunamis." Did waves taller than the Statue of Liberty smash the coasts of the Mediterranean sea 8,000 years ago — and could a tsunami like that happen again? Also, at 11 PM, the History Channel has a rerun of Earth's Black Hole, a special about black holes and whether they affect our life here on Earth. The answer, apparently, involves going to the Bermuda Triangle. (Of course it does.)

Also, FX is showing League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen at 5, and Hellboy at 8 and 10:30.

And Wednesday morning at 1:10, TMC has The Man Who Fell To Earth starring David Bowie at his absolute freakiest.

Wednesday

The History Channel comes to our rescue once again, with an episode of Modern Marvels called "Mad Electricity" — it's all about Nikola Tesla, and how we're all using his discoveries constantly today. That's at 8 PM, followed by reruns of MonsterQuest and UFO Hunters.

And at 10 PM, TMC is showing Hollow Man 2, in which Christian Slater plays a cop pursuing an invisible killer. Yeah. I didn't know they made a sequel either.

Thursday

It's the Smallville season finale, "Arctic." This could be the last time you ever see Lex and Clark face off, with the smouldering and the Lex wanting to probe Clark's secrets. After tonight's episode, Lex actor Michael Rosenbaum is leaving the show — possibly never to return — and Lana will only be back for a few episodes. Also possibly gone? Chloe. Oh, and the show's co-creators Miles Millar and Al Gough are also taking off. So even though Smallville is coming back next season, this may as well be the show's final episode because it'll be almost unrecognizable next year. So maybe we'll actually get some resolution of the show's main plot arc? It might be worth tuning in just to find out. In any case, Lex finds Clark's Fortress of Solitude and learns Clark's secrets. Anyway, it's on The CW at 8. Here's a clip:

And then Lost has the first hour of its three-hour season finale, "There's No Place Like Home Pt. 1." The survivors and the freighter people begin their final confrontation. And here's a trailer:

Also, TVLand has the 1999 movie of My Favorite Martian, starring Christopher Lloyd, at 8 PM. And TBS has the original Austin Powers at 9.

Friday

The Sarah Jane Adventures is already zooming towards the end of its first season on Sci Fi, with the second half of "Whatever Happened To Sarah Jane?" airing at 8 and the first half of "The Lost Boy" airing at 8:30. Sarah Jane gets restored to our timeline, but then her cozy little family gets broken up a different way: a family turns up claiming that her adoptive son Luke is their child. Oh, and Maria's dad finds out all about Sarah Jane's world-saving activities, and decides Maria should have no part of it. Here's a clip:

And at 9 PM, Sci Fi has the first half of a Doctor Who two parter, "The Sontaran Strategem." Some people liked this episode a lot better than I did, with the campy dancing and weird Sergey Brin knock-off. In any case, it brings the Doctor and Donna back to present-day Earth for a reunion with Martha Jones and the military organization U.N.I.T. You can read our recap of the episode here.

Battlestar Galactica has a new episode at 10 PM on Sci Fi: "Guess What's Coming To Dinner." The human survivors of the Cylon genocide reluctantly join forces with a group of rebel Cylons to destroy the crucial Resurrection Hub. And it looks like Hera has a favorite auntie. Oh, and if you're in Seattle, you can watch it with a group of fans. Here's the trailer:

Saturday

As usual, the CW has two Spectacular Spider-Man episodes starting at 9:30, including a new episode at 10. But this week's new episode is pretty special, because it features the debut of the sexiest female character from Spider-Man's comics (sorry, Mary Jane): the Black Cat. And just to up the sexiness quotient considerably, she's voiced by none other than Tricia Helfer, aka the Cylon Six on Battlestar Galactica. How much sexiness do you think you can stand at 10 AM on a Saturday morning?

And meanwhile, the Cartoon Network has another new Ben 10: Alien Force at 10: "Max Out." "The team searches for Gwen's missing brother Ken and uncovers a secret of the DNAliens invasion." And then at 10:30, there's a new Transformers: Animated, which sounds like the sort of wheel-spinning episode (sorry!) that TV shows do while they're waiting for the end of the season to shake things up: "Investigating a mysterious race car, Bumblebee gets involved with an illegal underground street racing circuit, which also captures the attention of the Decepticons." Street racing? Why would the Autobots care about street racing? Whatevs.

The Sci Fi Channel is showing all three 1980s Indiana Jones movies, starting at 4 PM. (They're also showing during the day on Sunday.) Also, at midnight, Sci Fi has Timeline, followed by Tremors 4: The Legend Begins and Prophecy: The Foresaken. (Why did it take until Tremors 4 for the legend to begin??)

Sunday

At 9 PM, Sci Fi is showing its big promo special about the new Indiana Jones movie: Mystery Of The Crystal Skulls. Apparently there really are 13 crystal skulls, of which a few have actually been found in Mexico and Central and South America. And they're a huge mystery to archeologists because they're so perfect and awesome. Not only that, but it turns out that if you assemble all 13 skulls, you can stop the world from coming to an end in 2012. (Why is Sci Fi the only channel reporting on this? You'd think CNN and C-Span would be interested in whether the world was ending in four years as well.) Anyway, it's investigative journalism at it's finest, and in no way is it just a cheesy promo stunt.

And Spike is showing Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back at 8 PM.

Moon:

Remember Moon, the movie directed by David Bowie's son Duncan Jones, and starring Sam Rockwell (Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind)? Now that it's in post-production, a few more details have leaked out. The reason Rockwell is stranded alone on the Moon for three years: he's mining a gas that Earth needs to solve its energy crisis. And while he's stuck up there, he has an encounter that will change the course of human history. Even though Rockwell is alone on the Moon, he has costars in the movie: Matt Berry (The IT Crowd) and Kaya Scodelario (Skins). Are they playing aliens he meets, or other people who turn up? Or the people waiting for him back on Earth? [Slice Of Scifi]

The Dark Knight:

In the new Batman movie, part of what drives Harvey Dent over the edge into becoming Two-Face is that his fiancee is killed. This is presumably Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gyllenhaal). This will also give Batman something else to angst over, since she's his old flame and his "hope for a normal life." [Comic By Comic]

Battlestar Galactica:

Someone posted a ton of spoilers for episode 9 of Battlestar Galactica season four, "The Hub," which airs June 6. Roslin and Baltar are in the hands of the rebel Cylons (the Leobens, the Sharons, the Sixes) who are planning an attack on the "Resurrection Hub," without which no Cylon can resurrect anywhere, even with a resurrection ship. The humans have an uneasy alliance with these rebel Cylons. And some human pilots help with the attack, including Helo, Seelix and "Gonzo" Pike. The humans also decide to help the rebels to retrieve D'Anna (Lucy Lawless) so they can learn the identity of the Final Five within the fleet. D'Anna is un-boxed and immediately starts being manipulative and playing mind games again. The battle to destroy the Hub is "insane."

Helo feels very threatened when he realizes that when "his" Sharon died and was resurrected over the algae planet, her memories became available to all the other Sharons.

Baltar does the one thing that could surprise me at this point: he confesses his role in the destruction of humanity to Roslin — leaving her with a tough moral quandary. We see Roslin's death in a flash-forward, and the "L-word" is finally spoken between her and Adama. Elosha puts in an appearance as Roslin's spiritual adviser. [Battlestar Blog]

Star Wars: Clone Wars:

Here's our first look at Asajj Ventress, one of the main villains of the Star Wars: Clone Wars movie (coming this August) and TV show (coming this fall). As with previous versions, she's bald and venomous-looking. [USA Today]

And more story details about the movie have come out. Jabba the Hutt's son has been kidnapped, and the Jedi agree to rescue him in exchange for access to shipping routes, but this may be a plot to divert the Jedi to the remote planet of Teth. Anakin, his student Ahsoka, and a Clone squadron, travel to the B'omarr monastery on Teth to find Hutt Jr., but they find themselves surrounded by General Grievous' battle droids and hunted by Asajj Ventress. R2D2 helps them find a way out, and Obi-Wan brings much-needed reinforcements. [Jedi News]

Lost:

Lost's Sonya Walger (Penny) was spotted in Hawaii. Does that mean Penny's coming to the island? Or just that she's going to appear in an upcoming episode? Also, there are hints another one of our "favorite castaways" will die in an upcoming episode. [Spoilers Lost]

Smallville:

Here are some pics from the Smallville season finale, where Lex finally gets into the Fortress of Solitude. [The TV Addict]

And this week's episode, "Quest," follows Lex to Zurich, where he keeps trying to learn about the "Veritas" mythology. Lex gets attacked by a monastic-robed stranger with Kryptonian symbols carved into his chest, which seem to be a message for Clark. Meanwhile, Jimmy takes an interest in the symbols carved in the Kawatche caves, and Clark thinks about their symbolism. Clark and Chloe team up to investigate and learn that a member of the Veritas clan has survived and is hiding out in a church. Clark and Lex race to be the first to find this Veritas member, who holds the key to Clark's survival. [Buddy TV]

Doctor Who:

Here's a possibly spurious summary of the last two episodes of the current Doctor Who season. Former Prime Minister Harriet Jones is consumed with hatred for the Doctor, especially after she finds out her successor as prime minster was a member of the Doctor's own species. She managed to get aboard the Valiant and witnessed the entire year of Harold Saxon's reign of terror which "never happened." It was Harriet who stole the Master's ring from his funeral pyre, and uses it to help an army of Daleks, led by Davros, to escape from beyond reality.

This causes Rose's alternate universe to unravel. As head of her universe's Torchwood London, Rose knows what's going on, but doesn't know how to stop it. She desperately tries to reach the Doctor. Meanwhile, Donna has read her own life story in that future library (the one from the Steven Moffat two-parter) and knows she'll be killed by the Racnoss, the spider-creature that ruined her wedding day.

Donna is left alone inside the TARDIS, hurtling out of control, and doesn't know what to do. Then Rose appears on the screen, having managed to get a signal through a fracture in reality — after the Doctor has already completely vanished from our universe. Donna and Rose try to use the TARDIS to bring the Doctor back. They keep colliding with alternate realities, including their own lives if they'd never met the Doctor. Finally, they manage to bring the Doctor back. He's confronted Davros and Harriet, who's now the Red Dalek.

Realities collide, bringing Jackie and Mickey back to our universe. And then the Daleks kill Donna's mother and grandfather. And then Donna is controlled by the insect on her back, by means of a Racnoss Empress from an alternate reality, which came to our universe through the hole the Daleks have made. The alternate Empress joins forces with Davros and Harriet. The only way to stop Donna's evil back-spider is to kill Donna, which the Doctor refuses to do. Meanwhile, all the universes are threatening to collide, destroying everything. The Doctor reaches the Medusa Cascade, but the only way to close the rift again is to sacrifice a human life. The Doctor falters, unable to sacrifice anyone. But then Donna chooses to sacrifice her own life to save everything.

But after Donna is gone, the Doctor decides to break his most sacred rule for her, and goes back in time 24 hours to change his own past, so the Daleks and Harriet can be stopped without sacrificing Donna's life. Then Captain Jack erases Donna's memory so she has no clue what's happened and won't try to find the Doctor again. She won't remember him at all. This restores everything to the point it was before, with Rose, Mickey and Jackie once again sealed in their alternate universe. [Planet Gallifrey]

Transformers: Animated:

Here are some screencaps from an upcoming episode of Transformers: Animated called "SUV: Society For Ultimate Villainy," which already aired in the Middle East but won't air in the U.S. until June or later. It features a Decepticon called Swindle, and a villain who fires a time-freezing blast, using a pocket watch. The "clockwoman" teams up with Nano and the Angry Archer to build a time-control machine for Swindle. [TFW2005]

Spectacular Spider-Man:

And meanwhile, Spectacular Spider-Man is unaccountably airing its Halloween episode this Saturday. Here's the blurb:

"The Uncertainty Principle"... presents a number of perplexing situations for Peter Parker and Spider-Man as they both try to find clarity amid the masks, mysteries and menace of Halloween. While Colonel John Jameson struggles to land his damaged space shuttle, Spider-Man continues his ongoing battle with Green Goblin, who also threatens Hammerhead and Tombstone. Still, Peter's greatest challenge will be facing the awful truth when he finally learns the Goblin's "true" identity.