io9: spider-man 3

Pick The Worst Scifi Movie Sequel Of All Time

Charlie Jane Anders — Mon, 12 May 2008 13:38:00 PDT

Now that we're already discussing Iron Man 3, and filming may soon start on the Superman Returns sequel, it's a good time to look at science fiction's wreckage-strewn history of bad and weird sequels. From the crazy dancing in The Matrix: Reloaded to the crazy dancing in Spider-Man 3, few genres have created as many horrific sequels as science fiction. But which SF movie sequel is the absolute worst? Only you can decide.

When Did Summer Become Science Fiction Overkill Season?

Charlie Jane Anders — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 10:09:00 PDT

This summer will be the biggest "blockbuster" movie season ever, with no fewer than 23 would-be smash hits coming out between early May and mid-August. It didn't used to be this way. Back in the mists of time — like, say, in the late 1990s — there were only one or two big science fiction movies per summer, and only a handful of huge summer movies total. But summer movies have gotten bigger and more franchise-driven in the past decade, and science fiction is at the center of that transformation. We chart the rise of summer-movie gridlock, with a list of every summer scifi hit since 1980.

The 1970s: 1975's Jaws is widely considered the first summer blockbuster. The original Star Wars came out in May 1977 and grossed about $307 million domestically in its first run. The other big summer blockbusters of the late 1970s were Jaws 2, Animal House and Alien, according to this site.

The 1980s: Science fiction scored about one summer blockbuster per year, or maybe two in a good year. Except for the late 1980s, when science fiction had a bit of a slump. Here's the roundup, by year. (A year with an asterisk is one where no science fiction film hit the top 10 movies of the year, box-office-wise.)

1980: Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back ($209 million)
1981: Superman II ($108 million)
1982: E.T. ($359 million) and Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan ($79 million).
1983: Star Wars: Return Of The Jedi ($252 million), Superman III ($60 million) and War Games ($80 million)
1984: Ghostbusters ($260 million) and Star Trek III: The Search For Spock ($76 million)
1985: Cocoon ($76 million) and Back To The Future ($211 million)
1986: Short Circuit ($41 million) and Aliens ($85 million)
* 1987: Predator ($60 million) and Robocop ($53 million)
* 1988: None. (Although Big and Willow were big summer hits.)
1989: Batman ($251 million), Honey I Shrunk The Kids ($131 million)

The 1990s: The number of science fiction movies in the summer's biggest movies increased slightly, with some ups and downs. Some years, the biggest blockbusters included films with a lot of special effects and action-adventure themes, but no overt science fictional elements.

1990: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ($135 million), Total Recall ($119 million), Back To The Future Part III ($88 million), Flatliners ($61 million).
1991: Terminator 2 ($205 million)
1992: Batman Returns ($163 million)
1993: Jurassic Park ($357 million)
* 1994: None. (Although True Lies, Speed and The Mask were in the top 10, and non-summer films Stargate and Star Trek: Generations were in the top 20.)
1995: Batman Forever ($184 million), Apollo 13 ($172 million), Waterworld ($88 million)
1996: Independence Day ($306 million), Phenomenon ($105 million)
1997: Men In Black ($251 million), The Lost World: Jurassic Park ($229 million), Face/Off ($112 million), Batman And Robin ($107 million)
1998: Armageddon ($202 million), Deep Impact ($140 million), Godzilla ($136 million), The Truman Show ($126 million)
1999: Star Wars Episode 1 ($431 million), Wild Wild West ($114 million)

The 2000s: It's really just in the last five years that we've seen more than two or three big science fiction movies dominating the summer pretty much every year. A lot of these have been franchises, comic-book movies and sequels, or some combination of the three. The box-office take of the top 10 movies has increased dramatically, with every year's top 10 movies each grossing well over $100 million.

2000: X-Men ($157 million)
2001: Jurassic Park III ($181 million), Planet of The Apes ($180 million)
2002: Spider-Man ($404 million), Star Wars Episode II ($302 million), Signs (228 million), Men In Black II ($190 million)
2003: The Matrix Reloaded ($282 million), X2: X-Men United ($215 million), Terminator 3 ($150 million), Hulk ($132 million)
2004: Spider-Man 2 ($374 million), The Day After Tomorrow ($187 million), I, Robot ($145 million)
2005: Star Wars: Episode III ($380 million), War Of The Worlds ($234 million), Batman Begins ($205 million), Fantastic Four ($155 million)
2006: X-Men: The Last Stand ($234 million), Superman Returns ($200 million)
2007: Spider-Man 3 ($337 million), Transformers($319 million), The Simpsons Movie ($183 million), Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer ($132 million)

Note: Data is from BoxofficeMojo.com. Dollar figures aren't adjusted for inflation. I left out movies like the original Indiana Jones trilogy, which is clearly fantasy. (Unlike the new Indiana Jones movie, if all reports are to be believed.) I also left out spy movies that might have a few science-fiction touches aren't really about a science-fictional premise. Feel free to bitch at me in the comments.

The Coolest Rumors (That Turned Out To Be Fake)

Charlie Jane Anders — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 10:20:00 PDT

Quentin Tarantino will direct at least one of the Star Wars prequel films — which features a naked Natalie Portman. Meanwhile, Star Trek XI is all about the evil Captain Kirk from the alternate "Mirror Mirror" universe teaming up with an evil Picard and an evil Archer. If only every rumor in science fiction turned out to be true, just imagine how trippy your favorite shows and movies would have been. Click through for our roundup of the weirdest and most awesome rumors... that turned out to be totally wrong.

Star Wars:

Natalie Portman will do a nude scene in the Star Wars prequels, and she sings a special ballad.

And hey — this site has the scripts for Star Wars episodes 7, 8, and 9! It also has a "rumors page" for Revenge of the Sith, which states "You won't be disappointed" by the film. Also, the prequels feature Grand Moff Tarkin heavily, and he forms part of a triumvirate of evil with Anakin and Palpatine. Tarkin's hatred for Bail Organa, Leia's adoptive father, is a major theme of the films. And the Phantom Menace features the Republic's versions of those giant robot elephants, the AT-ATs. Unfortunately, Liam Neeson teaches the young Anakin "unethical Jedi practices." But at least Episode 3 will be narrated by Alec Guinness.

Oh, and Obi-Wan is a clone of the original Ben Kenobi. And the two Kenobis fight in Episode 2.

And we get to see an 18-year-old Senator Leia confronting the Emperor, as he presides over the Imperial Senate. Meanwhile, Quentin Tarantino is directing Star Wars: Episode II. (If only!) But don't believe those rumors about Darth Maul, Jar Jar Binks, Watto, and the planet Naboo appearing in Phantom Menace: they're fake leaks, designed to throw you off.

Spider-Man:

Bruce Campbell will play Mysterio, the evil illusion-making former special effects expert, in Spider-Man 3.

Star Trek:

Captain Picard dies in Star Trek: Nemesis! And Patrick Stewart helped write his own death scene. And Robin Lefler (Ashley Judd) turns up as Wesley Crusher's wife! Also, Alan Rickman is playing the Viceroy and Jude Law is playing Shinzon. Really!

And Star Trek XI won't be a prequel featuring Young Kirk at Starfleet Academy at all. Instead, it'll be about William Shatner's Captain Kirk, teaming up with Captain Picard and Scott Bakula's Captain Archer... in the evil alternate Mirror universe! And maybe the evil Kirk and the good Kirk will fight, because Kirk's not dead in the evil universe, and therefore the rules of continuity don't apply! Yeah!! Or rather, no.

Actually, Matt Damon is playing Captain Kirk in the new movie, which is about the time/space donut from the "City on the Edge of Forever." No, wait, Tom Cruise is playing Kirk. And George Takei has a cameo as Captain Sulu. Oh, and Leonard Nimoy plays Spock's father Sarek.

Doctor Who:

In the new Doctor Who series, the Daleks will have legs, to help them get around better. The legs may look like R2D2s, or they may be nice "Hobbit-like tootsies." Can't you totally see the Daleks with Hobbit feet? Me too! Too bad the show is being canceled again.

Season three ends with the Doctor revealing that he has a son, from a doomed love affair with an alien woman. Meanwhile, Joan Collins will play The Rani, an amoral Time Lady, in season four. And Ben Kingsley will play Davros, creator of the evil cyborg Daleks. Oh, and Britney Spears will appear as a whole host of sex-mad creatures, with special effects creating multiple Britneys.

Season three's big bad is the Ice Warriors, those green scaly cold-loving creatures.

Also, Paul McGann (Withnail And I), who played the Doctor in a TV movie, will reprise the role for a big-screen film.

And Peter Davison, the early 80s New Wave Doctor, will pop up for at least one multi-Doctor storyline. Meanwhile, 1970s Doctor Tom Baker will come back... as the Doctor's arch-enemy, the Master!

Also, David Bowie will totally appear in Doctor Who playing an "evil alien abductor.) Meanwhile, Jason Statham is the Doctor. Meanwhile, the 2007 Christmas special, "Voyage of the Damned," featured Woody Allen as Albert Einstein. Wasn't he awesome?

Thanks to Nivair Gabriel for research help.

The Biggest (And Longest) Movie Summer Ever

Charlie Jane Anders — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 15:30:34 PDT

The summer movie season now officially begins in early May, thanks to last year's blockbuster May releases: Spider-Man 3, Shrek The Third and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. This May, there are no fewer than 23 movies coming out, including "tentpole" films Iron Man, Speed Racer, Narnia and Indiana Jones. And the schedule is overcrowded with wannabe blockbusters all summer long, raising the chances that we'll see some high-profile flops. [Variety]

More Jive-Dancing Action With Spider-Man's Funky Parasite

charliejane — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 10:40:23 PST

Venom, the alien creature that latched on to Peter Parker in Spider-Man 3, will get his own solo movie. No word yet whether Topher Grace will be back as Eddie Brock, the guy who replaced Peter as the monster's host. Not to mention whether there'll be more alien-induced dancing and piano playing. But Marvel, which made its own deal with striking writers, has already had meetings with A-list writers about a Venom movie.

But chances are Topher won't actually don the slimy rubber-fetish outfit again. He said last April that he wouldn't be on board for a Venom movie because spin-offs starring Elektra and Supergirl have bombed. He thinks a Venom vehicle would do similarly badly. [IESB]

Spider-Man Musical Will Be Circus Of Pain

charliejane — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 13:30:00 PST

Singing and dancing worked out so well in Spider-Man 3 that somebody felt we needed a more concentrated dose. The Spider-Man musical hits Broadway in late 2008 or early 2009. Director Julie Taymor wants to use Jim Sturgess and Evan Rachel Wood, stars of her critically panned Beatles romp Across The Universe. You won't go see Spider-Man: The Musical unless your family drags you to it, but you could still have plenty of cause to rue its existence.

The musical will be "a cross between a play, rock 'n' roll and circus," Taymor says. If it does well, it could spawn imitators, and even help drag superhero films back to the era of Batman and Robin. Taymor wants the musical to be based on the severely dated sixties comics, not the movies. It may also be bad news that Bono and The Edge from U2 are scoring the thing. If only the Julie Taymor who directed the bleak, jarring Titus would take charge of this thing, instead of the Lion King helmer.

Spinning A Spectacular Web With Spider-Man Musical [Daily Mail]