We researched the vacation time allotted by present-day corporations, and used that data to figure out how many days off you'd get in an alternate reality or future world.

The Daily Planet (compare with: The New York Times)

Sorry, Clark — The only days you'll have off at the Daily Planet's corporate offices are Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and New Year's Day. It doesn't leave a lot of time to get back and forth to Kansas, but you might be able to make it if you're more powerful than a locomotive.

Stark Industries (compare with:Lockheed Martin)

A source within Lockheed Martin informs us that the holidays are represented by days off on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and New Year's Day. You'll have limited resources to sketch out your War Machine plans at home, but you'll have plenty of time in the office for experimentation.

Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters (compare with: Solebury School)

Unlike Xavier's school, Solebury has never been destroyed. On the other hand, it merged with the Holmquist School for Girls in 1949, so it has had at least one name-change* in its history since 1925. It's set way back in Bucks County farmland and hosts 220 students this year, none of whom have exhibited a mutant healing factor — Yet. Solebury's Diane Sugden informs us that the Danger Room will be unavailable from December 21st to January 5th.

* Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters became the Xavier Institute of Higher Learning in X-Men Volume 2, Issue 38.

Starfleet Academy (compare with: The United States Naval Academy)

The holiday break at Annapolis starts with the last day of exams, which runs to December 22nd this year according to spokeswoman Deborah Goode. Classes start up again on January 7th, so you'll have a little over two weeks to prepare for the Kobayashi Maru.

Utopia Planitia Fleet Yards (compare with: Derecktor Shipyards)

If you're looking for lots of time off while putting Galaxy-class starships together, you won't find it; Derecktor Shipyards is only down for Christmas and New Year's Day, according to Marketing Director Kathy Kennedy. Hope you enjoyed your vacation time at the academy, cadet — When it comes to shipbuilding, your time is limited.

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• The Original: Kirk's outfit changed here and there during the original series, but he stuck to the theme of black pants, black boots, and bright yellow shirt. Sometimes they embellished his captain's rank insignia on his wrists with more gold sparkle, but this is what swept countless hapless alien maidens onto his plastic bunk.
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• The Fancy Dress: When Kirk had to attend high-level functions like bar mitzvahs on Vulcan, he wore his dress uniform which had even more gold sparkles and a lime-green shirt. Nothing says hoity-toity fancy dress like sparkles and sequins.
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• Star Trek: The Motion Picture: Kirk got a funky mod outfit upgrade in this 1979 film. He's ready to hit a few disco floors and trip the light fantastic. Why they got rid of this uniform is beyond us, to say nothing of the mega-pointy sideburns.
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• Spacesuit Edition: Kirk had to venture outside the Enterprise to check things out in Star Trek: The Motion Picture, which meant he got to wear his white Captain's spacesuit, complete with accessories. Can you imagine the cleaning bill for this thing? It probably attracted smudges like tribbles.
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• Star Trek II: This movie gave Kirk a much-updated uniform, complete with an epaulet-flap that he could unbutton for dramatic effect. It didn't take long for him to get blood on it and ham it up in an effort to win a Purple Heart.
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• Kirk's Parka: In Star Trek II, Kirk also had to venture onto an ice-cold space station that had lost most of its power. This meant he had to bundle up to keep warm, giving birth to more Kirk-fashion in the form of a parka. Swanky.
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• The Casual Edition: When Kirk and crew visited our era in Star Trek IV, Kirk got a chance to wear his normal going-out clothes. We're not sure what's up with that funky shirt that looks like a tuxedo-spiral. Can you imagine your date showing up in this?
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• The Death Outfit: Kirk bought the farm in Star Trek: Generations, and luckily he had an outfit all prepared for it. This one looks as though his Star Trek II outfit mind-melded with his parka, and that union gave birth to this bastard child costume. Plus it has a jowl-disguising turtleneck as a bonus.

Famous names: Scott Bakula, Jolene Blalock, Connor Trineer, John Billingsley, Dominic Keating, Linda Park, Jeffrey Combs, Brannon Braga, Rick Berman

Crunchy goodness: 2

Stunt casting: Quantum Leap's Bakula as the intrepid captain, who never quite loses his dazed look, as if wondering where he's ended up this time.

Life lesson: Humans may be new to interstellar travel, but our ballsy shoot-first-ask-questions-never attitude is worth way more than the Vulcans' hundreds of years of experience.

Deadliest spoiler: Trineer sacrifices his life so Captain Archer can survive to give a speech to the new Galactic Elk's Club.

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Famous names: Avery Brooks, Nana Visitor, Avery Brooks, Alexander Siddig, Ronald Moore, Ira Stephen Behr, Michael Piller, Avery Brooks, Rene Auberjonois, Michael Dorn, Avery Brooks.

Crunchy goodness: 4

Sights you'll never unsee: A remake of Tootsie, starring the Ferengi. It's actually much worse than that makes it sound.

The shit: The long-running storyline of Odo the uptight shapeshifter's desperate love for Kira, the former resistance fighter, is one of the few science-fiction romances that you actually give a crap about.

Most prescient allegory: The hunt for shapeshifters among the humans becomes a piercing metaphor for our rush to dismantle civil liberties in the face of a terrorist threat.

Star Trek Deep Space Nine Guide

Famous names: Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Gates McFadden, Wil Wheaton, Rick Berman, Brannon Braga, Ronald Moore, Brent Spiner, LeVar Burton, Marina Sirtis, Michael Dorn

Crunchy goodness: 4

Design breakthrough: The boxy furniture and swivel chairs of the original series give way to sleek curvy consoles and luxury car seats. Plus, the Borg borrowed zombie imagery to make cyborgs creepier than ever before.

Stunt casting: Patrick Stewart brings a whole fancy Shakespearean veneer to the role of Jean-Luc Picard, elevating lines like "Engage," or "Let's see what's out there," to an almost mythic timbre.

Sights you'll never unsee: Klingon cowboy vs. android cowboy.

Tim Lynch reviews a number of Next Generation episodes.

Famous names: Gene Roddenberry, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Deforest Kelley, James Doohan, Harlan Ellison, Theodore Sturgeon.

Crunchy goodness: 3

Spinoffs/Sequels/Copycats: Eleven films, plus Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager and Enterprise.

Sights you'll never unsee: The half-black, half-white space racists running through fake yule log flames. A big blob ordering Abraham Lincoln to wrestle Vulcans. Captain Kirk flying a starship into a space dildo. Spock flamenco-dancing. It goes on and on.

Life lesson: "You'll have to get your entertainment somewhere else." — Captain Kirk.

Most painfully dated moment: The planet where the Vietnam war never ended.

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