As you might expect, the dystopias in question come from Marvel's X-Men franchise, where smiling is a sign of weakness. In addition to the collection of their WWII-era origin of Ian McKellan's favorite villain, Magneto: Testament, there are the more fictional hellscapes on offer in X-Men: Inferno (New York becomes infested with demons!) and X-Men Future History: Messiah War Sourcebook, which details the backstory of a future that makes Terminator Salvation look like the wonderful world of Oz.

Alternatively, you could just pick up the first issue of Dark Horse's Aliens relaunch, for a horrific world than requires less tolerance for superpowered soap opera, or Spider-Man: The Short Hallowe'en for a New York that is devoid of demons but written by Saturday Night Live's Bill Hader and Seth Meyers (All of today's Manhattan-based demons have been diverted to Jeff Parker and Kyle Hotz's Dark Reign: The Hood, which offers up tales of the New Avengers's newest crime boss, who just so happens to be evil-demon-powered).

If you're looking for something a little more optimistic, IDW's Star Trek Omnibus collects some of the better Trek comics from days pre-Abrams. Also, Doug (Earthworm Jim) TenNapel's Power Up tells the story of a man whose magic video game console gives him the ability to control the real world.

Old-fashioned superhero thrills, that won't make you feel bad about the future of humanity, can be found in the first collections of DC's Trinity series (Said trinity being Superman, Wonder Woman and Batman, of course) and Dynamite's Death Defying 'Devil.

Meanwhile, the much-promised teens-in-tights can be found in DC's duelling teenage superhero collections, Robin The Teen Wonder - an anthology of stories about the various characters to sidekick Batman throughout the years - and Static Shock: Rebirth of The Cool, which'll remind you just how great the 1990s Static series really was.

Whether it's electric garbage-can-flying heroes or grizzled cyborg soldiers from a dying tomorrow, your local comic book store will have them all. And, if you're after something that doesn't fit into those two categories, why not check out the list of everything hitting stores this week (Psst: At least take a peek at the non-SF Bayou). But, come on. Static Shock, people.

The Archie heroes - The Shield, The Web and The Jaguar and many other characters with a definitive article in front of their names - will return under the guidance of JMS in the Brave And The Bold series, which will take its time in reintroducing the franchise, giving each character a two-part origin followed by one issue solo story: "It's a great opportunity," said Straczynski of the chance to revive an entire franchise.

The Milestone characters - created by Dwayne McDuffie, Michael Davis and Denis Cowan in the early '90s to reflect a more multicultural society than the traditional whitebread heroes - have been trapped in publishing limbo since for the last decade, even with the successful Static Shock cartoon that ran from 2000 - 2004. Now McDuffie gets to bring the characters back, and into the DC Universe, in the Justice League of America series... except for Static himself, who's going to join the regular line-up for Teen Titans.

These moves are part of a very definite decision on DC's part to diversify their line: "We're looking to expand the DC Universe," explained DC Executive Editor Dan Didio. When asked what would be next, Didio explained that if he could get his hands on Hanna-Barbera characters like Space Ghost, The Herculoids and The Galaxy Trio, he'd be very excited. Grant Morrison was more adventurous: "Marvel's next!"