10 Terrible Ideas for TV Spinoffs of Popular Movies

We all have ultra-high hopes for Marvel's Agents of SHIELD, the television spin-off of The Avengers. Will all the characters turn out to be Skrulls? We hope so. But if this show becomes a huge hit, the studios could decide to crank out more TV shows based on popular films. Here are the 10 worst TV shows that could… » 9/13/13 10:28am 9/13/13 10:28am

Unglamorous Space Catastrophes That You'll Never See in a Movie

We were all impressed with the dramatic trailer for Gravity, with George Clooney weathering an explosion on an orbiting space station and Sandra Bullock spinning off into the void of space. Things like that make good cinema. There are other space crises, though, that will never get their own movies. Here are some… » 5/17/13 11:46am 5/17/13 11:46am

6 Historical Forensic Detectives Who Deserve Their Own TV Shows

We've seen not one but two modern reinterpretations of Sherlock Holmes in the last couple of years, plus countless procedural dramas, including forensic-themed shows like Bones and CSI. Meanwhile, TV audiences are utterly charmed by historical dramas like Downton Abbey and Boardwalk Empire. And just this summer, ABC… » 2/17/13 7:00am 2/17/13 7:00am

Why Titan A.E. is an Underappreciated Masterpiece

Before the Battlestar Galactica reboot and Firefly, there was Titan A.E.. This post-apocalyptic animated feature about humanity's last hope was bookended by gorgeous space shots and a misfit crew of aliens. While the movie tanked at the box office, and didn't please everyone, we consider this cartoon a major classic. » 1/04/13 10:10am 1/04/13 10:10am

The best way to re-interpret the ending to the movie Sinister

Sometimes when I watch a movie I fantasize that there is a slightly different (and better) movie going on right under the surface, which erupts only occasionally into the actual movie itself. I felt this especially acutely when I was watching the ending to the monster movie Sinister, which seemed to hint that another… » 10/15/12 4:54pm 10/15/12 4:54pm

A CliffNotes Guide To The Wishbone Episode About H.G. Wells' The Time…

Thank you for purchasing CliffNotes: Wishbone - "Bark To The Future," an educational guide for those readers requiring assistance in understanding the fundamental plot points of H.G. Wells' science fiction novella The Time Machine, as depicted in the defunct 1990s PBS children's show Wishbone (ages 5-12). » 8/01/12 9:20am 8/01/12 9:20am

10 Reasons Why Billy Ocean's "Loverboy" Is The Best Music Video Ever…

Every now and again I miss grad school, despite the fact that my fondest memories involved drinking, watching Lost before it became completely godawful, or some combination thereof. Still, the urge to fashion an essay of substantive academic merit silently looms over me, like the world's least exciting poltergeist.… » 7/09/12 10:40am 7/09/12 10:40am

Let's write the sequel to Battleship based on some crap I found on my…

A few years back, moviegoers had a big belly laugh when they heard that a movie studio was immolating $200 million on an alien invasion flick based on the 1967 board game Battleship. "Haw haw!" we innocently guffawed. "Obligatory bon mot about red and white pegs! You sunk my battleship! Insert mock glee about cultural… » 5/16/12 9:45am 5/16/12 9:45am

A Letter To Batman's Shark Repellent Bat-Spray, From A Lover Spurned

We both knew this letter has been a long time coming. Or at least I did, starting around the time The Riddler kidnapped those ichthyologists from Gotham University and forced them to custom-breed hammerhead sharks with question-mark-shaped heads. The nightwatchman at that deepwater crossword puzzle factory owes you… » 4/11/12 8:10am 4/11/12 8:10am