Wolverine
Yeah, yeah: You think we're going to do the "Santa Claws" joke, don't you? Well, that's not why we're suggesting Marvel's merchandisable mutant for the position of New Santa. Instead, we're being practical about it: Wolverine currently appears in five monthly comics (Astonishing X-Men, Uncanny X-Men, Wolverine: Weapon X, New Avengers, Wolverine: First Class) and countless mini-series, special issues and whatnot on a regular and endless basis. Who could be more prepared to deliver presents all around the world than someone who's used to being in several places at once? Which leads us to...

Jamie Madrox
Staying with Marvel's X-Men family, the central character of Peter David's X-Factor has the ability to make multiple duplicates of himself, which again could come in handy with that whole "Making sure everyone around the world has presents on Christmas morning" thing. Plus, he might be tempted to get Guido to dress up as an elf, which would present all manner of visual hilarity.

The Flash
Pro Number One: His costume is already almost the right color. Pro Number Two: Superspeed means that he won't just be able to get all the deliveries done in one night, he could also probably make all the toys that night as well, giving him the rest of the year to fight crime and romance Iris West as needs be. Pro Number Three: Santa's real name would now be Barry. Unfortunately, given the Flash's long-standing gimmicky tradition for being late for important things, children around the world would be both disappointed and confused that their stockings would remain unfilled until December 28th.

The Fantastic Four
It's almost fitting that Marvel's "first family" could replace such a family favorite, but they definitely have the skill set: The Human Torch can guide the sleigh, replacing Rudolph in both flying and lighting the way roles, and it'd take the Thing's strength to be able to carry a sack full of enough gifts for all the kids in the world. As for the Invisible Woman and Mr. Fantastic, they'd be needed to actually deliver the gifts: Reed Richards can stretch down the chimney to do it all old-school, while Sue makes sure that no-one sees him (or the rest of them) as they fly around the world in a specially-decorated Pogo Plane. And if this isn't actually the plot of some old Fantastic Four comic from my youth, then I want a credit when it inevitably appears in one in the future.

Superman
If ever there was a superhero who embodied the Christmas Spirit, it's Clark Kent's alter-ego. It's not just the ability to move at superspeed and get the deliveries done in time - And if he forgot anyone, he could always just fly backwards around the world, go back in time and fix that oversight - or his ongoing (and, in almost every sense, entirely successful) attempts to represent the best in humanity and inspire others to do the same that we're thinking about here. It's not even that he's had on-the-job training from the old guy himself. No, what convinces us that Superman should get the gig for official new Christmas Icon is that like Jesus, he was given to humanity to save us from ourselves. Yes, he could be our new Santa and our new Jesus! It's like a Double Christmas Bonus, and really, isn't that the Greatest Gift Of All?

The object of all slot games for players is to arrive at the bonus round. In Superman, the player gets a chance to save the world when they are in the bonus round, much like the title character does in the comics and in the movies.

Part of saving the world in the bonus round will revolve around destroying missiles and players working their way around meteor fields. In the end, the ultimate goal is to go as far through the bonus round, picking up extra cash along the way.

The popular superheroes have made their rounds in movie theatres and competed for entertainment dollars on the big screen. Now, they will be competing for online players' money. Superman joins the Silver Surfer and the Incredible Hulk as comic icons who now have their own online slot game.

I can see the Hulk being a good icon for Internet gambling, what with the poor impulse control. According to another gambling industry site, besides Superman, the other new characters who've just joined the world of online gambling include Forrest Gump, Braveheart, Batman... and Wonder Woman. Great Hera!

Says a press release:

"Big brands drive player popularity, and that is why CryptoLogic is excited to launch a game based on Superman, one of the most iconic brands of the entertainment world," said Brian Hadfield, CryptoLogic's President and CEO. "By also adding Forrest Gump and Braveheart, CryptoLogic continues its industry leadership in launching branded games that resonate with both the casual and serious player. We aim for these games to be both popular and profitable."

We won't even comment on the fact that we can't get a Superman movie, but we can get Superman slots.

Looking over a decade of superhero storylines, it's easy to see two things: The repetition of ideas, and the genre trying to come to grips with what's happening in the real world (and often failing badly); just look at the increase of terrorist attacks post-9/11. The headlines below - matched to publication date where possible - may not be exactly how the last ten years played out in the real world, but it's possibly the way it happened in our collective subconscious. Well, apart from restarting reality four times, of course.

2000
January - Part of America literally becomes city of the future thanks to time-traveling evil robot (Superman: Y2K storyline).

February - Humanity defeats, kills "God," who is revealed to be a gigantic organic pyramid responsible for life on Earth. 20th Century ends late/early depending on who you talk to with death of Jenny Sparks (The Authority #12).

February - All of humanity temporarily gains superpowers as result of superhero from another dimension powering miracle machine that enables humanity en masse to defeat extra-dimensional being driving the world to the brink of destruction (JLA #41).

June - Earth is hit by artificially-induced natural disasters (New York hit by giant tidal wave, San Francisco partially destroyed by volcano, areas of Africa and Australia face plague of insects, etc.) as result of insane criminal with godlike power (The Authority, "Earth Inferno" storyline).

June-July - World transformed into alternate reality ruled by cartoon laws of physics as result of insane criminal receiving godlike power (Superman: Emperor Joker storyline).

July - New York attacked by alien terrorist whose path of destruction, when viewed from above, spells out "Fuck You" (Marvel Boy #2).

October-November - Earth temporarily designated a prison planet by consortium of alien races, becomes overwhelmed by amount of extra-terrestrial criminals (Maximum Security storyline).

November: Lex Luthor becomes President of the United States of America (Superman: Lex 2000 storyline).

2001
May - A time-traveling despot reveals horrific future if he is not given control of Earth, resulting in international wars as nations disagree on response (Avengers #42).

June - A terrorist attack decimates the homo superior population of Earth, killing hundreds of thousands in one sweep (New X-Men #115).

June-August - Earth becomes centerpoint for alien attempt to destroy the universe, resulting in universe-wide war (Our Worlds At War storyline).

September - The World Trade Center and Pentagon are targeted by terrorists, resulting in the destruction of the former and a worldwide reaction and rescue effort (Amazing Spider-Man #36).

September - A time-traveling despot declares war on humanity (Avengers #46).

October - Large numbers of people/animals become infected by "Joker" virus temporarily, resulting in worldwide insanity (Joker: The Last Laugh storyline).

2002
January - Earth surrenders control to time-traveling despot; large numbers of humanity placed within concentration camps (Avengers #50).

June - The mythical realm of Norse Gods, Asgard, takes up temporary residence above New York City (Thor #50).

July - Every male of every species on Earth dies suddenly. Well, almost every male (Y: The Last Man #1).

August - Capital cities across the globe disappear, only to be revealed to have become part of a giant uber-city as the result of a cosmic entity representing the concept of order (Avengers #57).

October - LA is attacked by giant black sperm as the result of a terrorist attack on behalf of an insane former pornstar (The Filth #5).

December - Mutant terrorists attack New York City, destroy the Brooklyn Bridge and kill eight hundred (Ultimate War #1).

2003
January - Norse Gods invade European nation to ensure religious freedoms (Thor, Iron Man, Avengers: Standoff storyline).

March - 1 in 1000 Americans gains superpowers due to alien virus (Action Comics #801).

March - Mount Rushmore and other areas of South Dakota are attacked by biological weapons (Avengers #65).

May - The island of Micronesia is destroyed in a nuclear explosion, an act that launches an invasion on Earth by alien forces (The Ultimates #10).

September - World transformed into alternate reality with alternate history merging it with parallel Earth as result of godlike beings indulging in wager (JLA/Avengers #3).

September - Mutant terrorists attack New York City, killing thousands and also manage to reverse the polarity of Earth's magnetic poles (New X-Men #147).

2004
February - San Diego plunges into Pacific Ocean, renamed "Sub Diego" after some inhabitants survive as mer-people (Aquaman #15).

February - The White House is attacked by superpowered terrorists (Ultimate Six #5).

February - American Government overthrown by superpowered terrorists (Coup D'Etat storyline).

April - One million people mysteriously vanish from Earth suddenly (Superman #204).

June - Superpowered beings invade Arab nation of Mazikhandar, depose ruler and install new democratic government (Avengers #83).

July-October - New York is attacked by indestructible robots, terrorist organizations and aliens as the result of a delusional superhero with godlike powers (Avengers: Disassembled storyline).

August - New York is invaded by aliens (Fantastic Four #517).

August - Thousands of people kill themselves as result of international broadcast from unknown source (Ultimate Nightmare #1).

2005
March - Europe erupts into riots against a newly announced European Union plan to create super-powered soldiers (Ultimates 2 #5).

March - Military installation is attacked by aliens seeking to prevent humanity from achieving space travel (Ultimate Secret #1).

April - Tens of thousands of people discovered to be nanotech-controlled drones in service to evil satellite orbiting the Earth (The OMAC Project #1).

June-October - World temporarily transformed into alternate reality as result of insane superhero with godlike powers (House of M storyline).

October - Genetic evolution is reversed worldwide by insane superhero with godlike powers, undoing homo superior strain granting superhuman abilities to thousands of people worldwide (House of M #8).

November - Tokyo is attacked by a collection of giant monsters (Fantastic Four/Iron Man: Big In Japan #1).

December - Earth overrun by zombie plague (Marvel Zombies #1).

2006
January - Multiple Earths appear in orbit around Earth (Infinite Crisis #4).

April - Reality is restarted, resulting in a new Earth with altered history (Infinite Crisis #7).

May - Humanity defeats "Galactus," a swarm of alien ships known for destroying planets (Ultimate Extinction #5).

May - Hundreds die in Stamford, Connecticut as a result of superhero negligence; in response, the US Government announces the Superhero Registration Act which will regulate superhuman activity (Civil War #1).

June - Reality is restarted, resulting in a new Earth with altered history (Captain Atom: Armageddon #9).

September - "The Everyman Project" is announced, which can give people synthetic superpowers (52 #21).

October - A cosmic event known as "The White Event" occurs, resulting in people around the world manifesting superpowers (newuniversal #1).

2007
January - All participants in "The Everyman Project" simultaneously lose their powers, resulting in worldwide destruction and death (52 #35).

February - The 50-State Initiative is unveiled, with each state of America given its own superhero team (Civil War: The Initiative #1).

April - Washington DC is invaded by mythical, warlike women (Amazons Attack! #1).

May - Earth is discovered to be one of 52 parallel Earths with alternate histories (52 #52).

August - Earth is invaded by alien gladiators led by the Hulk, returning from interplanetary exile (World War Hulk #1).

August - The mythical realm of Norse Gods, Asgard, takes up temporary residence above the state of Oklahoma (Thor #2).

September - November: Earth is invaded by aliens with magical rings (Green Lantern: The Sinestro Corps War storyline).

December - History is altered after ill-considered pact between satanic demon and naive superhero and wife (Amazing Spider-Man #545).

December - Alien body-snatching conspiracy is uncovered (New Avengers #37).

2008
April - Alien body-snatching conspiracy turns into full-blown invasion of Earth by shape-changing aliens (Secret Invasion #1).

July - Earth becomes a post-nuclear wasteland (Number Of The Beast #8).

July - Humanity loses free will as result of arrival of godlike entity on Earth (Final Crisis #3).

August-November - World temporarily transformed into alternate reality with alternate history as result of criminals assuming godlike power (Trinity series).

August - Now an endangered species, homo superiors declare San Francisco, CA, to be their new home (Uncanny X-Men #500).

October - Earth becomes home to 1,000,000 refugee aliens (Action Comics #870).

November - Alien shapechanging invasion is finally repelled, ushering in a new era of corrupted authority in incredibly ill-timed political metaphor (Secret Invasion #8).

November - The world is hit by multiple seemingly-natural disasters, including a tidal wave that floods and partially destroys New York City, as first wave of attack by superpowered terrorists (Ultimatum #1).

2009
January - Reality is restarted, resulting in a new Earth with altered history (Final Crisis #7).

March - The United Kingdom is invaded by a vampire army (Captain Britain and MI-13 #11).

August - (ongoing): Earth becomes overrun by reanimated corpses of the dead (Blackest Night storyline)

We researched the vacation time allotted by present-day corporations, and used that data to figure out how many days off you'd get in an alternate reality or future world.

The Daily Planet (compare with: The New York Times)

Sorry, Clark — The only days you'll have off at the Daily Planet's corporate offices are Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and New Year's Day. It doesn't leave a lot of time to get back and forth to Kansas, but you might be able to make it if you're more powerful than a locomotive.

Stark Industries (compare with:Lockheed Martin)

A source within Lockheed Martin informs us that the holidays are represented by days off on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and New Year's Day. You'll have limited resources to sketch out your War Machine plans at home, but you'll have plenty of time in the office for experimentation.

Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters (compare with: Solebury School)

Unlike Xavier's school, Solebury has never been destroyed. On the other hand, it merged with the Holmquist School for Girls in 1949, so it has had at least one name-change* in its history since 1925. It's set way back in Bucks County farmland and hosts 220 students this year, none of whom have exhibited a mutant healing factor — Yet. Solebury's Diane Sugden informs us that the Danger Room will be unavailable from December 21st to January 5th.

* Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters became the Xavier Institute of Higher Learning in X-Men Volume 2, Issue 38.

Starfleet Academy (compare with: The United States Naval Academy)

The holiday break at Annapolis starts with the last day of exams, which runs to December 22nd this year according to spokeswoman Deborah Goode. Classes start up again on January 7th, so you'll have a little over two weeks to prepare for the Kobayashi Maru.

Utopia Planitia Fleet Yards (compare with: Derecktor Shipyards)

If you're looking for lots of time off while putting Galaxy-class starships together, you won't find it; Derecktor Shipyards is only down for Christmas and New Year's Day, according to Marketing Director Kathy Kennedy. Hope you enjoyed your vacation time at the academy, cadet — When it comes to shipbuilding, your time is limited.

Greg Cox is one of the most prolific, and successful, authors of media tie-in novels, and he's won a loyal following for his many Star Trek books, including a trilogy filling in the backstory of much-loved villain Khan Noonien Singh. He's also written tie-in novels based on Alias, The 4400, Roswell, Underworld, Fantastic Four and Iron Man. He's also novelized the movies Ghost Rider, Daredevil and several others, plus DC Comics' big crossovers.

We talked to him about his new Terminator Salvation tie-in novel Cold War, out now from Titan Books, plus some of his other recent projects.

Cold War uses the same timeline as McG's recent movie, but only includes a couple of characters from the film: The main character is Losenko, the Russian general who appears briefly in the film, mentioning that Skynet is looking for Kyle Reese, and we learn all about Lysenko's backstory. Says Cox, "When I watched the movie, I was probably the only person who was mentally hanging on every scene with general Losenko," watching for every detail about the character to include in the book. Also in the book is General Ashdown (Michael Ironsides), the resistance leader who lives on a submarine. John Connor only pops in the book as a sort of mythological figure, giving inspirational speeches over the radio.

The new book takes place in Alaska and Russia, in two different time frames: 2003, right after Judgment Day, and then 2018. In 2003, the survivors are coping with the aftermath of the nuclear war, and Skynet is attacking them with really primitive Terminators, and the technology is close to what really existed in 2003. And then in 2018, Skynet has all the same tech it has in the movie — plus snowmobile Terminators, to navigate those frozen northern areas. It sounds like Cox had a lot of fun with the frosty settings:

My big gimmick was snowmobile Terminators. There's also a giant Terminator train. The trick is to try to find stuff in the [same] universe, that's slightly different. What haven't we seen yet? We haven't seen a Terminator train. The main reason for setting it in Alaska [was to include things like] dogsled chases, grizzly bears, avalanches, volcanos... We've seen so many chases on California highways, with fire trucks and emergency vehicles. I was looking for a whole different environment, not just recapitulating what people had done before.

Cox is somewhat surprised that the Terminator/grizzly bear fight has been the main thing people have talked about in his novel. "You can't have a Terminator in Alaska and not have him fight a grizzly bear. Okay, it's gratuitous, but how can I resist having a grizzly bear fight a Terminator?" And now that people have been so excited by it, "from now on, I put a grizzly bear in all my books." Spoiler alert: The bear doesn't stand a chance against a Terminator, says Cox.

There's also a Western-style train heist and loads of detail on a Russian submarine, plus lots of gritty war-movie-style action. Cox watched tons of World War II movies on TCM, read every Tom Clancy novel for the submarine details, and did loads of research on the world right after a nuclear war.

Cox says he watched Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles "religiously," but Titan Books and Halcyon were adamant that his book couldn't contain any references to T:SCC continuity. So don't expect Cameron to show up, but if anyone ever green-lights SCC novels, Cox will be first in line. The Terminator people were very keen to make sure Cox's book fit in with their vision of the universe, including making sure Skynet wasn't developing high technology too early after Judgment Day — and that meant loads of conference calls, notes and intensive feedback at every stage of the process.

Wrapping up The 4400

The amount of feedback you get from the licensors on a licensed property depends heavily on whether it's an ongoing concern, says Cox. With The 4400, for example, Cox wrote one tie-in novel while the series was on the air, and went through four different drafts in response to feedback. But when Cox wrote the first of two novels wrapping up the series after it ended, Welcome To Promise City, he got a more-or-less free hand. (The other novel, available now, is written by David Mack.) Cox, Mack and their editor cooked up an ending to the series together.

Except for tons of feedback from the fans. Cox says as soon as it was announced that he was writing a 4400 novel explaining what happened after the show's cancellation, he was bombarded with emails from fans all over the world demanding to know what he was going to do with their favorite subplots and characters. "I can't claim we wrapped up every loose end, but we tried to wrap up the important one," says Cox. He and Mack debated with their editor whether to tie up the end of the series with a neat bow, or leave a few things slightly open-ended in case they ended up doing more novels. They settled on the second approach, so if the books sell amazingly well, you might see further continuations of the story.

Novelizing Final Crisis

Cox novelized Infinite Crisis, 52 and Countdown for DC Comics, and now he's novelized Final Crisis, Grant Morrison's narrative-shredding uber-crossover starring the evil Darkseid. How on earth do you take Morrison's loopy storytelling and convert it into a single novel?

There was a lot of condensing involved, Cox admits:

There's not a lot of connective tissue in that series. [There are] a lot of scenes that jump from place to place. I've got to admit, the book is probably a bit more linear than the comic book, especially issue seven, which was jumping all over time. I actually just tried to tell it a bit more in chronological order, and maybe simplify it a bit.

The biggest problem with novelizing one of these sprawling DC crossovers is figuring out what subplots and tie-ins to leave out. The first week Cox was working on the Infinite Crisis novelization, he was trying to include all of the spin-off issues, including things like Rann-Thanagar War One-Shot, and every other miniseries and crossover issue, "and I realized this book is going to take me ten years, and it's going to be the size of The Wheel Of Time." So he began paring things down. Similarly, the Final Crisis book ignores a lot of tie-ins, sadly including the 3-D Superman tie-in series. "I apologize if your favorite scene is not in this book, but there's no way I can get in the 3-D tie in superman issue and the Batman issues and the special tie-in issue of Secret Six."

With novelizations of comics crossovers, "it's all about streamlining." It's the opposite of novelizing movie scripts, which is all about fleshing out the story and characters and adding new stuff to turn a 90-page script into a 300-to-400-page novel. "The script for Ghost Rider was not a terribly long script," notes Cox. He recalls coming across the novelization for Snakes On A Plane and marveling that Christa Faust had managed to get 400 pages out of that film. He felt like sending her fan mail.

Should Khan Come Back?

As the author of three Khan books, Cox is conflicted about whether Khan should appear in the next Star Trek movie. On the one hand, recasting Khan seems almost impossible, given how much Ricardo Montalban put his stamp on the character. On the other, Cox might have said the same thing about recasting Kirk, Spock and McCoy — and J.J. Abrams and crew pulled that off. The real question is, "do you do Botany Bay Khan, or crazy burned-out Wrath Of Khan Khan? There's the young virile but not quite crazy Khan, and then there's the obsessed spent-15-years-in-Hell Khan. And then there's the whole messy [subject of the] Eugenics Wars — when exactly did they take place? Did they take place during the Bill Clinton years?"

Cox is writing one of four new novels that take place in the movie's continuity, picking up where the movie left off. He's written a draft of his novel, but hasn't gotten feedback from Paramount yet, so everything is subject to change. But at least for now, his novel takes place six months after the end of the movie, and follows Captain Kirk and his crew on a stand-alone adventure. And he hints that, if Paramount approves, the fact that the Vulcans are refugees scattered across the universe will play a part in his novel's plot.

These Empire Strikes Backglasses are via Ultimate Coupons. These actually look quite nice, and the Darth Vader/Boba Fett one is sort of epic and widescreen.

For decades, fast-food chains have been putting out collectible glasses (which usually break at the slightest provocation) tying in with generations of Star Trek, Star Wars and other great series. Here are some of our favorites, which you'll be lucky to find on ebay nowadays.

The line will start with Superman: Earth One, by J. Michael Straczynski and Shane Davis, and Batman: Earth One by Geoff Johns and Gary Frank. Not unlike Marvel's similar Ultimate line of new continuity (or, for that matter, DC's earlier All Star attempt at the same), these new books look set to try and create a movie-friendly entry point for curious readers.

Both books will debut at some point in 2010, which co-incidentally happens to be not only the first year of DC Entertainment, the new cross-media incarnation of DC Comics, but also the 75th anniversary of the publication of the first DC comic, New Fun.

DCU in 2010: Welcome To Earth One [The Source]

Star Wars
Whether it's Han Solo's unseen girlfriend, Anakin preparing for a podrace or a very human Jabba, these ten clips show that George Lucas' space opera was more fun before it was edited.

Star Trek
Klingon torture! William Shatner's original death! Skydiving Captains! Ten clips to give you a good feeling about what you've missed so far.

Robot Movies
Never mind the Transformers, it's the Terminator material amongst these five clips that are must-sees. Especially the Arnold bit from T3.

Super-Heroes Can Save Us
Fifteen clips from Iron Man, Hulk, the X-Men movies as well as Batman and Superman's long careers on celluloid to remind you that sometimes, deleted scenes can add little to a movie - and sometimes, they can add an entire character. Go check out the Superman clone you've never met before.

Batman Takes A Wrong Turn from Batman Forever:

Alfred Explains The Secret Of The Batcave from Batman Forever:

Dick Lives Up To His Name in Batman Forever:

Gotham Television Has The Greatest Announcers in Batman Forever:

Original Superman The Movie Ending:

Luthor's First Superman Clone From Superman IV: The Quest For Peace:

Frankly, We're Not Too Sure, But It's from Spider-Man 2:

Bruce Banner Finds Alternate Employment from The Incredible Hulk:

Bruce Turns Emotions Into Science from The Incredible Hulk:

Full Length Version of Ambush from Iron Man:

Full Length Version of Finale from Iron Man:

Storm and Jean Bond in X2: X-Men United:

Beast Recites Shakespeare from X-Men: The Last Stand:

Jubilee At The Museum from X2: X-Men United:

Anne Thompson writes that, despite the perceived need to get a new Superman movie in production before 2011 in order to avoid paying penalty to the heirs of the character's creators, Warners are planning to stay quiet on the Superman front for the simple reason that they don't know what else to do:

As the studio is waiting to resolve the legal dispute, there's no movement on the project. [Superman Returns] grossed $391 million worldwide off strong reviews for a genre sequel. But it cost more than $232 million. Warners felt it could have performed better with more action and a powerful villain-and no Superman kid. So Singer was taken off the franchise... [Warner Bros. execs] want to start over from scratch. While Kick-Ass writer Mark Millar did pitch himself (to scant interest), WB in-house faves the Wachowski brothers and their protege James McTeigue were never approached. (It's hard to imagine such hard-R types taking on what one blogger described as the "Big Blue Boy Scout.") The studio is still seeking the right direction. No writers are working on a Superman script. "We're working on a strategy for DC," says one Warners exec. "Superman is the trickiest one to figure out."

Considering Warners have three of DC's most popular comic writers consulting for the studio on DC-related projects (including Grant Morrison, who wrote the critically-acclaimed, award winning All Star Superman), the idea that the studio can't come up with a direction for the character is kind of mind-boggling, and perhaps points to a reason why Marvel Studios needn't worry about the competition just yet.

Superman Franchise On Hold [Thompson on Hollywood]

L'Hospice [Gilles Barbier via Nerdcore]

Don't get me wrong, we're almost as happy as the next man that Spider-Man is getting his long overdue day in the sun this year, but it's not enough. The Thanksgiving Day parade we'd want to be watching would have to include some of the following:

A Yoda Balloon
To be honest, we have no idea how this hasn't happened already. If ever there was a fictional character more suitable for translating into giant inflatable form that isn't named Pikachu or Snoopy, we'd like to meet them. It's not like Star Wars isn't popular enough, or that George Lucas doesn't have the Clone Wars TV show to promote. Why hasn't this happened yet?

A Partially-Deflated Superman Balloon
Because who doesn't want to see more of this?

A Brock Samson Balloon
Yeah, you heard us. And he can be pulled by lots of people dressed as the Monarch's henchmen. Admittedly, this may just be part of our Venture Bros-filled dream lives that would also include a Venture musical, complete with singing Hank and Dean and Nathan Lane as Phantom Limb. But until then, we can comfort ourselves with the dream of a giant, mulleted balloon of black t-shirt-wearing pain smoking and floating throughout the streets of a cold New York November morning, terrifying evildoers and NBC announcers alike.

Scenes From The Spider-Man Musical Being Performed In Front Of Macy's For An Unenthusiastic Audience
Just as every year's parade features special guests from the latest Broadway hit miming a song from their show while jumping about trying to desperately keep warm, why not give everyone a chance to see what U2 and Julie Taymor have cooked up for the perpetually-troubled Spider-Man musical Turn Off The Dark, thereby convincing everyone once and for all that Arena Rock and outsider superheroes really isn't a good fit after all. After all, given all the troubles the production has gone through already, this kind of performance may be the only time anyone will see anything from the show.

Stargate Universe Float
This is another no-brainer. What better way for the newest Stargate to win over new audiences than with a float filled with cast members to sum up what the series is all about? This is what I picture: The float itself looks like a scale version of the Destiny, with Scott and Chloe having sex on one side, Rush and Eli looking at computer screens and frowning, before Young walks up and shouts at them, leaving TJ to one side, looking on concerned. At the back of the float, Greer can look crazy and shoot his gun in the air, and somewhere, Camille can have multiple showers because that's what she seems to do if last Friday's two shower scenes are anything to go by. How could that not make everyone want to tune in on a regular basis?

Make those changes, and all it'd take would be the addition of Edward James Olmos and Mary McDonnell as replacement Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieiras (with Mark Sheppard taking the Al Roker wandering reporter role, of course; he has to be in everything, after all), and the show would be perfect. Well, for us, anyway. What changes would you need to make you have to tune in?

Spider-Man 4:

Are we going to meet Peter Parker and Mary Jane's baby in the fourth movie? There's a casting call for a baby boy (aged two to three years) with red hair. (Actually, they want twins, so that they can keep filming and swap them out when one of the kids has to take a break. But it's almost certainly for just one kid.) A lot of fans are jumping to conclusions, assuming this means Spidey will have a kid — but as SpoilerTV points out, this could be a baby Cletus Kasady, who grows up to become Carnage. Or it could be any number of other things. All we really know is that they're starting to cast this movie, and apparently there's a red-headed kid in it. [SpoilerTV-Movies]

Superman Returns Again:

James McTeigue is still super-interested in directing the next Superman film, but sounds less certain that it'll ever happen. But he does offer one more hint of how he'd approach the Man of Steel: "It's ripe for a retconning." Whatever that means. [MTV]

Planet 51:

But screw all this superhero shit — you really want to know about this animated film, in which The Rock is an astronaut who lands on a 1950s planet where he's the alien invader. Right? Apparently in the movie, an alien teenager decides the only way to protect himself from an anal probe is by using a champagne cork. There's a cute Mars Rover robot named Rover (who probably doesn't say "Gadget Gadget," alas) and an alien Chihuahua shaped like the creature from Alien, and something quasi-hilarious happens when he pees.

When The Rock first lands, he hums "Thus Spake Zarathustra," and then realizes he's interrupted an alien barbecue in which all the 1950s aliens are dancing to old-time rock 'n' roll. Chuck (The Rock) says to himself that "Kennedy's going to freak" when they find out about "sea monkeys dancing to the oldies." Other classic SF movies referenced in this film include Plan 9 From Outer Space and E.T. [Kansas City.Com]

Lost:

A new and exciting twist on the "alternate universe where Flight 815 landed safely" concept: a dapper Sawyer was spotted filming a scene at the upscale Diamond Head restaurant, part of the Lotus hotel, and his lunch companion? Was Charlotte (Rebecca Mader) last seen dying on the island. [Hawaii Weblog]

Fringe:

Here are the first two minutes of this week's Observer-centric episode. Plus a new photo. [Fox]

And here's a new promo for the episode. [Fringe Television]

And a load of promo pictures from episode 2x09, "Snakehead." [SpoilerTV]

Supernatural:

Mark Pellegrino explains more about his approach to playing Lucifer and what's coming up:

As you know, the angels in the show can be, well, a—-holes. It is Lucifer who is kind and empathetic and truthful. So, play the "Prince of Lies" as the most sincere one of the bunch and you have a fresh take. But I have a feeling things are gonna change. Lucifer has a big chip on his shoulder and that can't be restrained for long... The proverbial crap is gonna fly. Hell, it's the apocalypse for crying out loud. Something's gotta give. If I tell you more than that I'll have to kill you.

[PopStar via SpoilerTV]

FlashForward:

Here are some promo pics from episode 10, "A561984". [SpoilerTV]

Assuming this show gets a second season, we'll see more of Mark Benford in season two — there will be new mysteries, but the second season is definitely a continuation of the first, says Jessica Goyer. [PopCorner.PL via FlashForward.PL]

Smallville:

Lois arrives in the future, in a new clip from Friday's episode:

Michael Shanks explains about his version of Hawkman, appearing February 5:

When we first meet Carter Hall he's in his museum. We'll learn he's a reincarnated prince from a thousand years ago. There is a reference to The Justice Society's time in the ‘70s, but we have since disbanded.

And apparently there's lots of flying and mace-swinging, but no bare chest — instead Hawkman has a weird bronze chestplate thingy. And here's a picture. (Full version at the link.) [TV Guide Magazine]

Stargate Universe:

But Shanks isn't just flying around Metropolis and giving Clark Kent advice — he's also a figment of Dr. Nicholas Rush's imagination in the upcoming Rush-centric episode "Human," in which we discover more about how he recruited Rush into the Stargate program. Shanks and Richard Dean Anderson also appear in the 18th episode, "Subversion." [Gateworld]

And here's a sneak peek at Friday's episode.

Heroes:

And here are five clips from the "Thanksgiving" episode. What are you thankful for? [The ODI]

Additional reporting by Josh C. Snyder.

I'll admit to liking the failed 2006 relaunch of the Superman franchise more than most people, but even I think it's definitely more flawed than it should be; overlong, lacking a show-stopping action set-piece and that whole Superman-as-stalker-and-Lois-is-married-this-can't-end-well thing was... ill-considered, to say the least. It's possible that a Director's Cut of the movie would uncover all manner of Singer's original intent and improve the thing, but what I find myself worrying about is the idea that what didn't work for me were the parts that were Singer's ideas (Superman-as-stalker-and-Lois-is-married, etc.), and any Director's Cut would make it worse. And so, I leave it to you, dear readers: What do you think about the idea of re-editing and re-releasing Superman Returns?

[Superman Returns: The Bryan Singer Cut]

Spock
Died: Sacrificing himself by bringing the warp engines back online at the end of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, leading to his dying from exposure to radiation.
Undied: His body was resurrected in Star Trek III: The Search For Spock thanks to the Deus Ex Machina powers of the Genesis Planet, and it turned out that his soul had lived on all along thanks to mind melding with Bones.
Cause of Undeath: Mind-meld and blatant plot ridiculousness in order to keep the fans happy. Admittedly, it was all set up in Star Trek II, but still.
Does It Count As Death?: Well, his soul was alive the entire time in Bones, but his body had enough time to go through a funeral and being shot off into space, so... 50/50? But not really, let's face it.

Ellen Tigh
Died: Poisoned by her husband after (in his eyes) betraying humanity in "Exodus, Part II" at the start of Battlestar Galactica's third season.
Undied: Instantly downloaded into a new body as part of the Fifth Cylon retcon, as revealed in the fourth season's "Sometimes A Great Notion."
Cause of Undeath: Traditional cylon download/rebirth.
Does It Count As Death?: Well, she was instantly reborn, which suggests that she was never actually dead as such, but the whole Fifth Cylon thing muddies the waters... especially when she was reborn as someone who wasn't exactly the Ellen she was when she died. We're going with "Kinda, but not really."

Boba Fett
Died: Falling into the Sarlacc's mouth in Return Of The Jedi.
Undied: Climbing back out of the Sarlacc's mouth in comic sequel Star Wars: Dark Empire.
Cause of Undeath: He was swallowed by apparently never chewed or digested and climbed his way out, apparently.
Does It Count As Death?: If you believe Dark Empire, not in the slightest. George Lucas apparently disagrees, however; it's said that he edited Fett's last appearance in the special edition of Return Of The Jedi to make it clearer that it's meant to be the end of the character.

John Sheridan
Died: Avoiding certain death by nuclear explosion at the end of Babylon 5's third season finale, "Z'ha'dum," by jumping into a pit so deep that it was impossible to survive. Oh, and then there was that nuclear explosion, which presumably would've destroyed the pit and everything within it anyway.
Undied: At the start of the show's fourth season, Sheridan was revealed to be in a limbo between life and death because of his love for Delenn. With the help of - and 20 years worth of lifeforce from - helpful fellow limbo-ite Lorien, he comes back to the land of the living.
Cause of Undeath: As Ewan McGregor in Trainspotting would say, choosing life. Who knew it was that simple?
Does It Count As Death?: Nope. Think of it as getting as far as death's foyer, before deciding to turn back because you'd changed your mind.

Tasha Yar
Died: Wanting out of her Starfleet contract early, Denise Crosby got her character killed at the hands of a gloopy, ooky oil monster in the first season episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation "Skin of Evil."
Undied: Thanks to time travel shenanigans, turns out never to have died in the alternate timeline of third season episode "Yesterday's Enterprise," and then manages to return to the past of the original timeline at the end of the episode in a way that still doesn't make a lot of sense.
Cause of Undeath: Alternate timelines having prevented her from dying in the first place.
Does It Count As Death?: Well, a Tasha Yar definitely died. In fact, as we learn upon the appearance of the second Yar's daughter Sela, the other Tasha was killed unsuccessfully trying to escape from the Romulans, so it looks as if any and all Tashas would end up dead one way or another.

Superman
Died: At the hands of the apparently unstoppable Doomsday in 1993's The Death of Superman storyline.
Undied: Midway through the follow-on The Return of Superman storyline, when it's been revealed that none of the four characters who've taken up the mantle are the real thing.
Cause of Undeath: He woke up. No, really; the audience is pretty much told that he'd never died in the first place, he'd just gone into superhibernation in order to heal from the fight.
Does It Count As Death?: Not at all, but it definitely counted as a moneyspinner for DC Comics, who went on to kill Green Arrow and Green Lantern within the next couple of years, as well as teasing deaths for the Flash and breaking Batman's back.

Bucky
Died: Trapped on a bomb that mentor and Nazi-fighting partner Captain America had managed to jump off of before it exploded, as explained way back in 1963's Avengers series.
Undied: In 2005's "Winter Soldier" storyline of Captain America, where he got reintroduced and prepped to become the new Captain America in 2007.
Cause of Undeath: Turns out that Bucky was, in fact, blown to bits by the exploding bomb... It's just that they were pretty large bits. Large enough to rebuild him into a brainwashed no-good commie assassin who gets put on ice between missions, until he meets Cap, goes rogue, remembers who he is, and then uses his mighty Russian technology for the good of American mankind.
Does It Count As Death?: What's brainwashed Russian assassin for no?

The Flash
Died: Which one? Barry Allen died in 1985's Crisis On Infinite Earths. Wally West disappeared and was, at various times, presumed dead/missing/no-one could make up their mind in 2004's Infinite Crisis, and Bart Allen kicked the bucket in 2007's The Flash: The Fastest Man Alive #13.
Undied: Wally came back in 2007's Justice League of America #10, Barry in 2008's Final Crisis #1 and Bart in 2009's Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds #4.
Cause of Undeath: Both Barry and Wally had, it turns out, never died. Barry had been swallowed into the Speed Force, which is the cosmic... thing... that gives all super-speed characters their powers in the DC Universe, while Wally's fate was ultimately (after a couple of failed attempts that were quickly contradicted) decided upon a variation of "He took his family on vacation to an alien planet and didn't tell anyone." Don't ask. Bart, meanwhile, did die, kind of... but his teenage self was trapped in a futuristic lightning rod and then magically released in the 31st century to fight Superboy Prime. Again, it's probably better if you didn't ask.
Does It Count As Death?: No question for either Barry or Wally (No), but Bart... I have no idea. I've read Legion of Three Worlds multiple times, and still don't understand the explanation that's given there; let's just never mention it again and pretend it didn't happen.

Jason Todd
Died: As the result of a real-life phone vote to see if Todd, the second Robin (as in Batman and), should be killed at the hands of the Joker. Seriously, 1988's comic industry, what the hell were you thinking?
Undied: 2004's Batman revealed that Todd was not only not dead, but had magically aged more than most other characters in the DC Universe in his off-panel absence.
Cause of Undeath: Superboy was punching the walls of reality, and things went a bit weird. You know how it is with these superheroes and their punching the walls of reality; history gets rewritten all over the place. Just be glad that Batman didn't end up as Batdinosaur. Although, now that we think about it, that'd be awesome.
Does It Count As Death?: Magically contradicting Schrodinger and his cat, Jason Todd both did and didn't die. His official history has it that he died, and then just came back to life thanks to the punching of reality, meaning that he was still alive. So, while it ultimately doesn't count as permanent death, there was a death in there somewhere.

Jean Grey
Died: In 1980's famous Uncanny X-Men #137, where she sacrifices herself for the good of the universe to stop herself from becoming overwhelmed by the godlike power she possessed that might lead her to eat a couple of planets if she got peckish.
Undied: It's revealed in 1986's Fantastic Four #286 that the Jean Grey who killed herself was never actually Jean Grey at all, but the Phoenix force, who's been cosmically imprinted with Jean's personality. Don't worry; the Phoenix force was already back by that point anyway.
Cause of Undeath: Jean hadn't died (at that point), and the resurrection of the Phoenix force was somewhat implied by the name - The official explanation was that the Phoenix force hadn't actually died either, just lain dormant until someone else (Jean's daughter from an alternate timeline. If you don't already know, don't ask) claimed it.
Does It Count As Death?: Before the retcon and ruined Chris Claremont's X-Men once and for all you bastards, it did. Now? No-one died until years later, when Jean really got the Phoenix power and then ended up dying anyway. Guess there's something unlucky about the name or something.

According to Mental Floss Magazine, Kennedy managed to work all of the Ku Klux Klan's most secret recruiting and organizational practices into his 1940s radio serial, "Clan Of The Fiery Cross." And as a result, the Man Of Steel dealt a crushing blow to the racist organization:

As the storyline progressed, the shows exposed many of the KKK's most guarded secrets. By revealing everything from code words to rituals, the program completely stripped the Klan of its mystique. Within two weeks of the broadcast, KKK recruitment was down to zero. And by 1948, people were showing up to Klan rallies just to mock them.

Hey Smallville, what powerful real-life racist secret societies have you demystified and weakened lately?
[Mental Floss]