Monday:

Chuck -
It's the Chuck that changes everything - but not as much as the season finale next week that really changes everything. Even though the show's hinting that Sarah and Chuck are going to get together, it's never actually going to happen. Chuck is on NBC at 8 PM.

Chuck Promo:

Chuck Promo:

Heroes -
Sylar has an "identity crisis" because he can change his identity now, Big Matt starts to act like a Daddy, and Ando and Hiro plot to destroy Building 26. Heroes is on NBC at 9 PM.

Heroes Promo:

Movies:

Jump around the globe, with the power of terrible hairstyles. Hayden Christensen and Samuel L. Jackson star in Jumper at 10 PM on Cinemax.

Tuesday:

Caprica -
The back story of the Cylons is revealed, on DVD and digital download. Follow the Adama family and the Greystone family, as their joint tragedy leads humans down a destructive path, paved with holographic orgies.

Fringe -
This weeks Fringe was written and directed by Oscar-winning screenwriter Akiva Goldsman. Olivia is able to see terrible deaths happening in NYC from her Boston bed, but what does it have to do with her past? Fringe is on Fox at 9 PM.

Fringe Promo:

Reaper -
Alan moves to the Vatican to escape the devil, with the help of Sam, but first Alan has to tell everyone how he won his soul back. Meanwhile,Nina wants Ben to meet her family. Reaper is on the CW at 8 PM.

Reaper Clip:

Reaper Promo:

Cupid -
Cupid continues to serve as a Craigslist substitute for the people of New York. This week he pairs a jewel thief-turned-locksmith with the his parole officer. Cupid is on ABC at 10 PM.

Wednesday:

Better Off Ted -
Ted deletes himself from the system, and chaos ensues. Better Off Ted is on ABC at 8:30 PM.

Lost -
A clip show tells the story of the Oceanic 6 "from a whole new perspective." So who haven't we heard from yet: the polar bear? If this is just a big tease to keep me away from Faraday for one more episode, heads will roll. Lost is on ABC at 9 PM.

Lost Promo:

Mythbusters -
Can you make your own diamonds? The myth-masters attempt to debunk this rumor once and for all, on the Discovery Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:

Learn all about how to charm a lady werewolf, with your wolf scent and ability to kill off her former wolf-lover, in American Werewolf In Paris, on TBS at 3:30 AM.

Thursday:

Smallville.
Lois is making believe that she's the superhero Stiletto. Downer Clark is afraid for her safety, and then they all get jumped by kryptonite-wielding gangsters - just another day in Smallville, on the CW at 8 PM. Watch as Clark discovers Lois' secret identity in two seconds - and yet no one else knows that Clark is the red and blue blur?

Smallville Clip:

Smallville Promo:

Supernatural -
Is there a new Winchester brother in the mix? Sam and Dean meet a 19-year-old who might be their long lost half- brother. Dean thinks it's a trick, naturally. Personally, I think it's the slash fiction baby. It's on the CW at 9 PM

Supernatural Promo:

Supernatural Clip:

Supernatural Clip:

Supernatural Clip:

Friday:

Dollhouse -

A dead woman's mind gets downloaded into Echo, and now it's up to the folks at the Dollhouse to solve her murder, on Fox at 9 PM.

Dollhouse Promo:

Movies:

The classic 1950s alien B-movie in which a young boy learns that aliens are taking over human brains, Invaders From Mars, is on AMC at 2:30 AM.

Saturday:

Kings -
A plague descends upon the city of Gath, which is perfect timing for Michelle's health-care bill. Jack and David head over to Gath to smooth over some wrinkles in the peace talks - will this finally be the night these two young boys hit it off? Kings NBC at 8 PM.

Movies:

A scientist, his nephew and a mountain man discover a dangerous and exciting world at the earth's core, Journey To The Center Of The Earth is at 8 PM on HBO.

Sunday:

Movies:

In 100 Feet, Famke Janssen plays a woman who kills her abusive husband, and she's placed under house arrest, where she's haunted by his vengeful ghost. Plus apparently, Ed Westwick makes an appearance. Watch the woman-versus-ghost showdown, on the Syfy Channel at 9 PM.

Monday:

Chuck -
When you mess with Scott Bakula (Chuck's on screen dad), you're in for a heap of trouble. Our nerdtastic hero has to dig all the way back into his personal life and pull Jordana Brewster out of jail to save his father. Chuck is on NBC at 8 PM.

Chuck Promo:

Chuck Promo:

Heroes -
We continue on down Angela's rickety memory trip to meet her sister, while her bratty kids argue about baseball and whom mommy loved more. Heroes is on NBC at 9 PM.

Heroes Promo:

Heroes Clip:

Tuesday:

Fringe -
What has the body of a lion and claws of an eagle? Whatever it is, Walter made it - and Charlie now has to fight it. Fringe is on Fox at 9 PM.

Fringe Promo-

Reaper -
Sam and Morgan are under strict orders from the Devil to spend more time together. Plus all the other dudes teach us how to seduce demon girlfriends, using shower coffee. Reaper is on the CW at 8 PM.

Reaper Clip:

Reaper Promo:

Cupid -
Cupid gets political when the Earth-bound god has to match up a liberal lady with a right winged fella, because what are we, if not ridiculous stereotypes pigeon-holed into easy plot hurdles? Cupid is on ABC at 10 PM.

Movies:
Learn all about the Monster that Challenged the World, on TCM at 3:15 PM. And develop a fear of evil mollusks that travel through California's efficient waterways and terrorize the residents.

Wednesday:

Better Off Ted -
Linda "accidentally" takes uppers and Veronica tries to help Rose with her school fundraiser, but we all know why we're tuning in again... Phil and Lem. Better Off Ted is on ABC at 8:30 PM.

Lost -
LIke it or not, it's a Miles-centric episode, where the writers trick us into thinking that we'll find out why or how he talks to dead people. I don't believe it for a second, but the curiosity is piqued. Now bring Daniel back, or I'm going to throw a tantrum. Lost is on ABC at 9 PM.

Lost Promo:

Lost Promo:

Time Warp -
I will never get tired of examining anything in extreme slow motion, especially flipping kitties (see below). This week, Time Warp slows down a medieval catapult, rockets and stick fights. Check it out on the Discovery Channel at 8 PM.

Time Warp Promo

Mythbusters -
Part of Discovery Channel's "Alaska Week," the boys head North and test out how a V-shaped snowplough can avoid injury by splitting in half after a collision. Check out all the Alaska-themed goodies on the Discovery Channel at 9 PM.

No new UFO Hunters.

Thursday:

No new Smallville.

No new Supernatural.

Movies:

My biggest guilty pleasure, Titan A.E is on Cinemax at 2 PM. It takes place a thousand years in the future where Drew Barrymore and Matt Damon battle killer aliens (who blew up Earth) and attempt to unify humanity. There are space angels, energy aliens, blind aliens, a jaded main character and rock music.

Jennifer Garner freaks out about being a 13-year-old trapped in a 30-year-old's body. FX is showing 13 Going On 30 at 8 PM - no doubt to promote 17 Again, the Zac Efron backwards aging flick, which is kind of the same thing.

Friday:

No new Dollhouse.

Movies:

Debbie Reynolds stars as a witchy old grandma who is eager for her grand kid to leave the normal world and come to Halloween Town to attend Witch U. How have I not heard about this? It's like Harry Potter for idiots. The THIRD movie in this Disney franchise will be on at 9 PM. Here is the trailer for the first one - I can't find the third as I assume it's too evil even for youtube. I'm buying the DVDs right now.

Not looking for family-friendly bad movies, but still want a laugh? White Noise 2 (you know, the movie where they talk to ghosts through static - no, not Poltergeist, the sequel to the bastardized version with smoke people and Michael Keaton) is on TNT at 12 AM.

But if you'd rather have your eyes burned out in a different manner you could always watch Star Wars Episode 1 and 2 on Spike TV at 9 PM and 12 AM.

Saturday:

Kings -
So Kings has been moved to Saturday and it's up to us to keep it alive and kicking. So stay in and flip on your TV. This week, Macaulay Culkin stars as the creepy little doll faced nephew-to-the-King who was cast out on NBC at 8 PM.

Kings Promo:

Movies:

The Syfy Channel movie War Of The Worlds 2: The Next Wave premieres tonight. Words kind of fail how ridiculous this looks. Why make it War of The Worlds at all - why not Yet Another Alien Invasion,? But if they kill that annoying teen in this sequel, who had no business surviving in the Tom Cruise version, then I will change my stance entirely. The movie is on at 8 PM on the Syfy Channel.

Sunday:

Movies:

Get twice the Arnold Schwarzenegger for your buck, in the futuristic 6th Day flick on TMCe at 8 PM.

Spike is debuting Robert Englund and Jenna Jameson's Zombie Strippers at 10 PM. Lap dances and brains for us all!

The fantastic, Stan Winston directed, creature feature Pumpkinhead is on IFC at 11:45 PM. Join Lance Henriksen as he avenges the death of his son, with a giant pumpkinheaded demon. If you fancy yourself a monster fan, you must see this movie - preferably in a dark and dingy basement that smells like mold.

Monday:

Chuck -
The dreamy Scott Bakula dons a floppy hair-don't as Chuck's washed out drunkard Pop. Together, Chuck and his blonde girlfriend convince Pops to dry out long enough to join the family wedding. But all that work goes to hell when Chevy Chase pops in as a lunatic CEO with a dark and twisted past that links directly back to Bakula. Chuck is on NBC at 8 PM.

Chuck Promo:

Chuck Clip:

Heroes -
After last week's not-terrible episode, this week's has a lot to live up to, especially since it's all about Angela. This week, we get answers to Angela's past. Meanwhile, Noah continues to have marital troubles, and Sylar continues his buddy cop journey with Danko. Heroes is on NBC at 9 PM.

Heroes Promo:

Heroes Clip:

Movies:

Possibly the creepiest, and most overlooked, movie ever — Disney's The Black Hole — is on TCM tonight at 5:45 PM. A crew discovers a spaceship on the edge of a black hole with a nasty secret and a mad Captain.

Tuesday:

Fringe -
J.J. Abrams' Scooby Gang is back, with a pale feral child who makes Walter dance. But how does this silent child relate to a creepy serial killer who's been leaving his/her victims splayed out in public squares for all to see? Fringe is on Fox at 9 PM.

Fringe Clip-

Fringe Promo-

Reaper -
It's a Reaper road trip, where Sock tries to sleep with his stepsister, and Sam almost gets eaten by a giant snake creature. You know: same old, same old. Reaper it on the CW at 8 PM.

Reaper Clip:

Reaper Promo:

Cupid -
Trevor continues on with his Cupid shtick, with Claire's friend Riley. And we all learn an important lesson about love, or something. Cupid is on ABC at 10 PM.

Wednesday:

Better Off Ted -
A glitch in the company's sensor system causes Ted to have to battle the execs' cost-cutting ways yet again. But who cares about him? Phil and Lem are back! Better Off Ted is on ABC at 8:30 PM.

Lost -
The horribly misunderstood Ben must atone for all his bad deeds, by coming face to face with the smoke monster. Will we ever find out what it is? Who knows, but Smokey is still my favorite character on the island. Lost is on ABC at 9 PM.

Lost Promo:

UFO Hunters -
Cuba and Florida teem with underwater alien bases — just ask the UFO Hunters, on the History Channel at 10 PM.

Thursday:

Catch up on your Kings from 11 PM until 3 AM with a mini marathon, over at the Syfy Channel.

No new Smallville.

No new Supernatural.

Movies:

Aliens are disguised as creepy little infants in this 90s remake of the classic 1960 film, Village of the Damned. That's at 2 AM on Cinemax.

Friday:

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
It's a face-to-metal-face confrontation. Weaver finally gets the business meeting of a lifetime, tonight in the season finale. That's on Fox at 8 PM.

TSCC Promo

Dollhouse -
The House team figures out that an intelligence leak is coming from inside the house! So the only thing to do is turn Sierra and Echo into super-secret spies and set them loose inside their own abode. Dollhouse is on Fox at 9 PM.

Dollhouse Promo:

Prepare to suspend your disbelief indefinitely for both parts of a movie about a massive 10.5 scale earthquake that threatens to turn the US into some version of hell, only with sushi. Apocalypse parts 1 and 2 is on USA at 10 AM.

Another good double feature is The Fly and The Fly 2, over at AMC at 2:14 AM and 4:15 AM. I'm actually more interested in seeing Fly 2 as it's all about the unfortunate fly scientist's spawn being a teen and dealing with his raging insect instincts.

Saturday:

Movies:
There's a classic SyFy channel low-budget werewolf movie — this time with a military slant because they're using werewolves as soldiers. War Wolves is on at 11 PM.

Another terrible Syfy Original, Monster Ark, alleges that before Noah built THE arc, he built another one for monsters — and one got loose and he hid it in a box in Iraq, and they find it in this movie. So that's what happened to the unicorns, check it out at 5 PM.

Sunday:

Kings -
Macaulay Culkin is finally making his grand Kings debut, and I cannot wait. He's so perfect for the evil cast-out son, it's going to be tremendous. Kings is on NBC at 8 PM.

Movies:

The worst Kevin Costner movie of them all, Waterworld, will come jet skiing your way on Encore at 8 PM.

Monday:

Chuck -
Move over Sarah - Tricia Helfer is on Chuck detail, and the world's sexiest robot is getting her spy on. Of course, Sarah won't stand for this replacement and I'm sure there will be yet another "hot" girl fight just like every other time a sexy woman guest stars. Chuck is on NBC at 8 PM.

Chuck Promo:

Chuck Clip:

Heroes -
Nathan and Claire hightail it to Mexico, and Peter reconnects with Angela. But more importantly Heroes is bringing back classic bad-boy Sylar. Let's hope it works - but if it doesn't, they could always make him good again, and then bad, and then good. Heroes is on NBC at 9 PM.

Heroes Promo:

Movies:

Get an eyeful of mutated cave dwellers, when the National Guard comes under attack from cave people in The Hills Have Eyes 2, on Cinemax at 8:30 PM.

Tuesday:

Still no new Fringe this week - but thank goodness, it's back next week. Meanwhile, there's a Level 9 marathon on the Syfy Channel from 8 AM until 4 PM.

Reaper -
Sam has to babysit one escaped soul's baby, and calamity ensues, on Reaper at the CW at 8 PM.

Reaper Clip and Promo:

Wednesday:

Better Off Ted -
This week Ted brings his cute little girl into the Veridian offices, and she befriends Veronica. But more importantly, what hijinks will Phil and Lem get into this week? Better Off Ted is on ABC at 8:30 PM.

Better Off Ted Veronica Promo:

Lost -
What have you done, Sayid? Surely the island won't let the Iraqi assassin off our favorite morally gray sociopath, Ben - but until then the Dharama people are pissed and looking for someone to blame. Lost is on ABC at 9 PM.

Lost Promo:

UFO Hunters -
This week, the UFO experts break down our favorite type of aliens, the Greys. Learn all about our skinny alien friends, on the History Channel at 10 PM.

Life On Mars -
The series finale of LOM is tonight, and Sam finally gets the chance to return home back to 2008. While it can't possibly top the English series finale, I'm excited to see them try. What price will American Sam have to pay to return home? LOM is on ABC at 10 PM.

Movies:

What kind of powers would an Atom bomb give someone? The H-Man attempts to answer this question by giving the main character nuclear powers, in this Japanese film set in the seedy criminal underworld. It's on at 12:30 AM on AMC.

Based on Shakespeare's The Tempest, this 50s film follows a space ship sent from earth to explore a colony of scientists sent out years earlier, only to discover all but two have perished, Forbidden Planet is on at 2 AM on TCM.

Thursday:

There is a Highlander marathon on the Syfy Channel from 8 AM until 12 AM.

Smallville -
It's a Davis-centric episode, which means more of the awesome Sam Witwer. No one else does eyes filled with evil like our Sam. And we learn more of Davis' secret past... with young Lex Luthor. Smallville is on the CW at 8 PM.

Smallville Promo

Smallville Clip:

Smallville Clip:

Supernatural -
Dean and Sam turn out to be famous comic book characters. One bath-robed comic-book writer has been making a fortune off of his Sam-and-Dean visions. But when the two boys find out he's written their life story - including an ending - they're less than thrilled. But more importantly, where is this much-vaunted naked Dean book, and how can I get it? Supernatural ever on the CW at 9 PM.

Supernatural Clip

Supernatural Promo

Supernatural Promo

Eleventh Hour

In the season finale, Hood rolls out his arched eyebrow one last time, when a woman accuses the FBI of stealing her baby, and forcibly keeping her medicated and out of the way. Say goodbye to Hood - for now - on CBS at 10 PM.

Friday:

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
I'm still a bit torn up about losing Charley Dixon. They are killing off all the characters I love on T:SCC, but at least it's been delightful at every turn. But this week puts John dangerously close to Catherine Weaver - which makes us nervous for our favorite baddie. T:SCC is on Fox at 8 PM.

T:SCC Promo:

Dollhouse -
Echo wakes up with all her memories intact - along with a few other mind-wiped vessels. But when they arise from their "floor coffins," they're no longer as willing as they used to be to serve as sex-puppet money makers. Dollhouse is on Fox at 9 PM.

Dollhouse Promo:

Saturday:

Movies:

When werewolves and vampires fall in love and make babies, they're blue things with black eyes, that can kill EVERYONE. Or at least that's the way it works in Underworld, where Kate Beckinsale fighters wear pleather catsuits, so I don't complain. Underworld at 8 PM on TNT.

Sunday:

Kings -
Loyalties are being tested again on this expensive alt-history soap opera. This week, William tries to get Jack to betray his dad, again. Meanwhile, David's loyalties are tested...also again. And Michelle has to do something with the rebels of Gath, so that's new. Kings is on NBC at 8 PM.

Movies:

DOOMSDAY is on tonight! Think of it as Mad Max meets Dragonheart meets 28 Weeks Later, with a heaping of terrible and a dollop of fantastic. When the U.K. is hit with a deadly virus, the government builds a wall around Scotland, thus sealing in the infected. But, many years later, when it starts to spread, they have to go back inside the quarantine zone and look for survivors. And let me tell you what they find is pretty amazing - think Medieval Times fantastic. Doomsday is on HBO at 2:30 AM.

Jumanji for the information age, Zathura stars Twilight's Kristen Stewart as a teenaged girl who finds herself and her brothers hurled through time and space, as a result of a board game, that's at 5:55 A.M. on TBS.

"Not that there's anything wrong with that. Writers like Ted Chiang and Gene Wolfe write brilliant books by breathing new literary life into these old tropes. But their concerns are ultimately moral. They're not interested in New Ideas About Everything as much as in the problems and choices those ideas pose.

"In the last thirty or so years, the only sub-genres of Science Fiction willing to take on new science and technology have been cyberpunk and its cousin ribofunk (addressing respectively info- and bio-tech.) But recently, both these sub-genres have been petering out because, I would argue, real-world progress in both those areas has been both too fast and too gradual: fast enough to make most writing obsolete shortly after, or even before, publication; too gradual to produce anything truly transformative for the long view (we're still waiting for AI, immersive VR, and genetically modified humans.)" - Dmitry Portnoy's Amazon.Com review of Neal Stephenson's Anathem [via Wading Through Treacle]