I love this fight between Swamp Thing and a generic bad guy, who claims he was trying to kill "just a dwarf" in the swamp before he gets turned into a scary tree. There actually is a whole abused dwarf subplot in this episode, which you can imagine does not bode well. I have spared you a snippet of the mega-bad guy's lair, complete with 1980s-looking girl doing a pole dance without a pole, and the horrifyingly long sequence where Swamp Thing's love interest gazes mournfully at a piece of cheap jewelry the camouflaged Swamp Thing dangles in front of her when she wanders through the swamp. Savor the memory of this one scene, safe in the knowledge that you don't have to watch the rest of this series. Unless you really want to. The first two seasons are available as a box set! [Swamp Thing via IMDB]

Writing on Whedonesque, he said:

Buffy didn’t make the fall sched, Angel got shut down when they saw the second ep outline… it’s birth pangs. The network truly gets the premise (this is a whole new crew, as you know), loves the cast, is excited about the show – but they’re also specific about how they want to bring people to the show and I not only respect that, I kinda have to slap my forehead that I didn’t tailor my tone and structure to the network’s needs, since that’s something I pride myself on . . . I tend to come at things sideways, and there were a few clarity issues for some viewers. There were also some slight issues with tone – I was in a dark, noir kind of place (where, as many of you know, I make my home), and didn’t bring the visceral pop the network had expected from the script. The network was cool about it.

He also said that this new pilot wouldn't wreck the continuity of Dollhouse, the way the reshot pilot of Firefly did:

The truth is, I’m in love with this world, and I don’t care how people get into it. I have a million things to say about (and through) all of these characters, and I don’t mind which ones I say first. I think I just turned in a pretty cool pilot script.

I agree with Whedon: This doesn't seem to be a big deal, and is pretty much par for the course, even with shows that wind up having many successful seasons like Buffy. And honestly, Dollhouse needs a pilot that does pop and give audiences the right amount of backstory. There's plenty of time to get noir and gloomy later. When you want to draw in an audience that's larger than the Whedon Fan Club (yes, I am also a member), you have to make sure that everybody understands the concept before jumping on a bullet train with it.

The only thing I'm ornery about? No clips at Comic-Con. Whedon could make it up to us by singing Dr. Horrible's Freeze Ray song, right?Image via TV Barn.

Whedonesque [via SyFy Portal]

Comic-Con Can Bestow Cult Status
It's hard to manufacture cult status — no matter how much a company puts into its advertising budget, there's no way to be sure it will result in the cult reputation of a movie like Donnie Darko or a series like Firefly. Still, there are good reasons to strive for cult status. Cult flicks stay in theaters for years, and spawn legions of tie-in items like books, special edition DVDs, games, and more. If any group is likely to form a cult around a media property, however, it's going to be the people attending Comic-Con. So if a studio thinks it has a potential cult hit on its hands like Watchmen, it had better be courting the Comic-Con crowds with special teasers just for the Con and lots of love from creators and actors involved with the production. Cultists like special treats, and Comic-Con is designed to give them what they want.

Comic-Con Attendees Are Pop Culture Connoisseurs
Just as the technology world has its "early adopters" and "alpha geeks," so too does the pop culture world have its connoisseurs. And most of those connoisseurs go to Comic-Con. What makes a connoisseur, instead of just a regular movie-goer or comic book reader? Connoisseurs spread the word in LiveJournals, blogs, and fan clubs. They are the taste-makers among their groups of friends and in their communities, organizing trips to the theater and making "word of mouth" a reality. Pop culture connoisseurs are almost entirely responsible for the popularity of movies like Blair Witch Project, and for the failure of Ang Lee's Hulk movie.

Comic-Con Builds Mystique
Because you've got 100 thousand pop culture connoisseurs in one place at the same time, Comic-Con is the ideal place to build a brand and fast. No need to buy a zillion TV commercials — just create some mystique around your property. Hand out mysterious posters with glowing hands on them; design strange postcards that make oblique reference to your movie (like the creators of Wall-E did last year), or launch an alternate reality game (ARG) where Comic-Con attendees have to figure out clues in a website and meet somewhere in San Diego to get special swag. The point is, if you're going to do something that makes people obsess over your soon-to-launch movie/TV show/book, Comic-Con will provide the obsessives you need.

Comic-Con Can Make a Story Last for Decades
People who obsess over stories can also make one simple premise (a bunch of people flying around in a spaceship, say) last for decades. The people at Comic-Con are the children of the people who made Star Trek and Doctor Who into franchises that keep paying off nearly a century after they first aired on TV. They're the people who turned Star Wars into a religion. When a regular audience gets excited about a movie, they can make it last all summer. But only a Comic-Con audience can make it last for generations.

Comic-Con Generates Fan Bases, Not Just Audiences
What all these characteristics of Comic-Con add up to is the fact that the Con isn't just about showing off wares to a bunch of people who want to be entertained. A lot of people at Comic-Con want more than diversion and fun — they want to find stories that will turn them into fans. And to studios and publishers, fans equal cash. They're the built-in group of consumers that you never want to lose — the people who will stick by your show even when you swap in a lame new character or give Spider-Man radioactive sperm. Every major studio wants its properties to have fans, and that's why Comic-Con will be packed with producers, directors, creators, writers, and actors who are courting fan-bases. Especially for new properties that are coming out next year, like Fringe and Dollhouse. Other franchises, like Terminator and Lost, need less help. But they still need to maintain their fan bases, grooming them to consume yet another season or installment in the stories that obsess them. Top image via FigureThisRadio.

Some of Sci Fi Ventures plans are already in motion, such as their co-branded Sci Fi/Virgin Comics and the revitalization of scifi.com, which had previously acted as the online hub for the Sci Fi Channel (Their news section, Sci Fi Wire, will spin out to its own site by year's end). But according to this weekend's announcement, they're not stopping with what you read and what you watch. Sci Fi's president, Dave Howe, explained the move:

SCI FI Ventures is a major initiative that demonstrates our commitment to building businesses and driving maximum value around the unique relationship we have with our audience... The SCI FI brand's deep connection with its consumers - comprised chiefly of trend-setting innovators - proves that SCI FI has the power and the imagination to reach beyond the television screen to become a total global lifestyle brand.

On the one hand, thanks very much for calling us "trend-setting innovators". On the other, does anyone really think that trend-setting innovators will fall for something like "Sci Fi Gear"?:

Working with licensing agency BrandSense, SCI FI Ventures will develop, produce and market licensed product lines for SCI FI's passionate consumer base in retail and on-line. Based in Los Angeles, CA, Brand Sense Partners, LLC was founded by Brian France, Chairman & CEO of NASCAR. Their high profile clients include Britney Spears, Halle Berry, and Magic Johnson Enterprises.

That's right; the people behind the most popular celebrities of four years ago (at least) are ready to tell you what to wear.

Sci Fi Unveils Sci Fi Ventures Portfolio of Business [The Futon Critic]

Cartoon Network is hoping that none of you are hoping to have a social life come fall, because they have something special planned for your Saturday nights instead: Stormtroopers, superheroes and "alien forces", making up what the channel is somewhat understatedly calling "a good night for sci-fi programs."

The new Saturday line-up - previously announced for Fridays - is being built around Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Cartoon Network's flagship fall show; joining it will be Batman: The Brave And The Bold, the new series that teams up a particularly cartoony Dark Knight with various other characters in the DC Universe, introducing viewers to more unfamiliar characters in the same way that Justice League Unlimited did in a similar timeslot years ago. Rounding out the night will be new episodes of Ben 10: Alien Force, Cartoon Network's homegrown show about a boy with the ability to turn into multiple superheroes at any given time.

The move is part of a plan to brand Saturdays as "a fantasy-adventure day" for the channel, according to CN chief of content, Robert Sorcher.

The start date for this new programming block hasn't been decided yet, but it wouldn't be unreasonable to guess that it'll probably be August 23rd or 30th, the two Saturdays following the Aug 15th opening weekend of the Clone Wars movie.

Cartoon Net Ramps Up Saturdays [SciFi Wire]

This scene leads into what is probably the most metal-esque moment in the show so far, with Dr. Horrible singing about how he's totally certain he's going to become an evil killer now that Hammer has taunted him to the point of mania. Plus, he has Bad Horse to please — the leader of the Evil League of Evil wants Horrible to prove himself to gain entrance to the League.

As ever, the show centers on Dr. Horrible's videoblog, which he has now discovered is so popular that the police watch it, as well as Captain Hammer. Which makes it hard for him to pull of heists he's talked about a lot in the previous entry. (The Freeze Ray didn't work out so well, because Hammer was waiting for him at the "secret demo" and threw a car at his head.

So far Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog has succeeded in toying with the online medium in a way that few online serials have save for perhaps Homestar Runner. Homestar's Strong Bad Email segments always remind you that what you're watching is on the internet rather than TV. This is sort of the opposite approach of most online video, which generally tries to be as close to TV as possible. This show is unapologetically a blog, however, and it's exciting to see television creators paying tribute to a web medium for once, rather than the other way around.

If online video is ever going to become a medium that challenges network TV, that challenge is going to start with shows like Dr. Horrible. Shows that aren't afraid to be what they are. You know, blogs. Where people sing and wear rubber gloves and take over the world.

Watch the new segment free here or buy it on iTunes. Get ready! The final episode airs Saturday, and then Sunday at midnight it will no longer be available until the DVD arrives.

For those unfamiliar with the Black Panther, the character was the first black superhero in mainstream American comics, created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby during their historic Fantastic Four run. The king of a fictitious African country of Wakanda, a technologically-advanced nation hidden from Western civilization, T'Challa came to America to save his homeland from American Imperialists, fight crime and teach inner-city kids to read. During his 42-year history, he's belonged to the Avengers, led the Fantastic Four and married the X-Men's Storm, as well as proven himself to be one of the smartest characters in Marvel's universe and just generally bad-ass.

The new television show - to be adapted from the first six issues of Marvel's current Black Panther series, coincidentally (or not, as the case may be) written by BET's President of Entertainment, Reginald Hudlin - is still in production for a planned early 2009 airdate, but a specially-produced preview will be shown at the con during BET's Saturday panel, much to the delight of fanboys in attendance.

The Black Panther Sneak Peek at Comic-Con [SuperHero Hype]

Jeph Loeb, whose resume also includes stints on Lost, Smallville and a pretty impressive career as a comic book writer, talked about the special Summer series on the WordBalloon podcast:

There's kind of a historical importance, if I'm not putting too much importance on it, in the sense that, like I said, these are the first [Writers] Guild-sanctioned [web] episodes, which kind of allow for... You know, if you believe that members of the Writers Guild have a higher quality of writing than somebody who isn't, that's an opportunity to see what you can do if you let the big boys come in and play... They do have a historical precedence to them. You're looking at the future. And even if you look at it and go, "Well, you know, it doesn't have the big glory of a television show". Yeah, guess what? It is a baby step towards that, and I think they're terrific. Everyone involved did an amazing, amazing job on very little to make it with... It's like a small independent film when Heroes the show is, like, this $100 million blockbuster.

Not that they don't have any value beyond historic importance to the industry, mind you:

They're very clever pieces that you can watch over and over and over again, and will tie into our mythology, as people will see. Everything does, in the same kind of way that the comics do. But [they] will also give you an opportunity to kind of tool around in the NBC.com area that's designed for Heroes, because that way, you'll get to see the comics, and you'll get to see interviews with people.

They tie into the mythology the same way as the comics do? So, either hardly at all, or else giving you backstory that you didn't really need to know nor care about, then.

[Wordballoon]

After launching their BSG license with a yearlong series written by Planet Hulk's Greg Pak that took place during the show's second season, Dynamite apparently decided that it was easier to tell stories without having to worry about fitting in between the show's tight continuity; Battlestar Galactica: Season Zero is set during the first missions of the Galactica crew, Battlestar Galactica: Origins tells the backstory of the show's main characters, one by one (So far, we've seen the rise of Baltar and the secret origin of Bill Adama), and launching in September, Battlestar Galactica: Ghosts will focus on a group of all new characters - A lost squadron of Viper pilots, abandoned when their Battlestar is destroyed during the destruction of the Twelve Colonies.

Ghosts writer Brandon Jerwa explains:

"Ghosts” refers to the Ghost Squadron, a black-ops Viper team. But it also refers to all of our lead characters and the life they’re forced into after the Cylon attack. They are spirits in the material world, to quote one of my favorite songs: lifeless entities searching for something to ground them to reality again.

Boy, does that sound like some writer’s B.S. – but I swear, it’s all true!

And will we have seen any of the Ghost Squadron before?

The human characters are all new and unrelated to anyone. No cousins of Starbuck here, no tenuous connections to major characters. The Cylons will be very active in this story, but we’ll see them in relation to these completely different characters and a slightly different situation from the one presented in the show.

Well, that's very clear... except, wait, the human characters?

Lt. Dozil Pennit...oh, he’s just a Leoben-model human Cylon. Does he know what he is? Guess you’ll have to read the book to find out.

Okay, so this might be fun after all.

Jerwa: The Ghosts of Battlestar Galactica [Newsarama]

Go ahead and put your questions in the comments and we'll pose them next week at Comic-Con. And let's skip who's the final cylon question, because you know they're not going to answer that.

Battlestar Galactica: Tricia Helfer, James Callis, Katee Sackhoff, Michael Trucco, Ron Moore, David Eick

Stargate Atlantis: Joe Flanigan, Robert Picardo, Brad Wright, Jewel Staite, Chris Sanaugustin

Sanctuary: Amanda Tapping, Martin Wood, Robin Dunne

Eureka: Colin Ferguson, Sallie Richardson-Whitfield, Joe Morton, Jamie Paglia, Charlie Craig, Tony Optican

Each segment of the series will be a videoblog-style post from Dr. Horrible in which he answers email (in the shot above, he explains how his transmatter device went a little wrong on a gold brick), sings, hangs out with his evil buddy Moist (power of making things soggy), and tangles with his nemesis Captain Hammer (Nathan "Mal from Firefly" Fillion). Fillon is terrifically campy in the role of Captain Hammer, whose uniform is a t-shirt with a hammer on it (about to be The Internet's Most Wanted Tee) and rubber gloves. That all the heroes wear these weird rubber gloves and shoes as their uniforms is a great touch, and reminds me of very much of the sweet but satirical style of Austin Grossman's superhero novel Soon I Will Be Invincible.

Each episode is about 18 minutes long, and will provide you far more minutes than that in entertainment and sing-along fun. Yes, I am already singing the Freeze Ray song. Tune in this Thursday to find out what happens now that Penny thinks Captain Hammer saved her life even though it was really Dr. Horrible!

Whedon says the whole point of this series, aside from making a bunch of silly jokes and adding to the not-very-large body of supervillain musicals, is to change the way Hollywood does business. He writes:

It wouldn’t hurt if this really was an event. Good for the business, good for the community – communitIES: Hollywood, internet, artists around the world, comic-book fans, musical fans (and even the rather vocal community of people who hate both but will still dig on this). Proving we can turn Dr Horrible into a viable economic proposition as well as an awesome goof will only inspire more people to lay themselves out in the same way. It’s time for the dissemination of the artistic process. Create more for less. You are the ones that can make that happen.

You can watch the episode on Dr. Horrible's blog, or download it via iTunes.

Here's the synopsis:

Eleven-year-old Maia can see the future, and she’s never wrong. So when she has a vision of Mount Rainier starting to erupt, the National Threat Assessment Command takes her warning very seriously. But to track down the unknown returnee who may trigger the volcanic eruption, NTAC agents Tom Baldwin and Diana Skouris must uncover the astounding truth behind one of the greatest unsolved crimes of the twentieth century….

And they’ve got competition. Ruthless enemies are working against them and somehow managing to keep one step ahead of the desperate agents. With the future closing in on them, Tom and Diana must foil a lethal conspiracy — before Seattle and the entire Pacific Northwest go the way of ancient Pompeii.

The book's available now on Amazon.com and in bookstores. [Slice Of Scifi]

You won't have to watch the first three episodes to understand episode four, Abrams promised. The show will have an overall storyline and an "endgame," and there will be arcs. But individual episodes should stand alone. And Abrams will be heavily involved in the show, writing scripts and doing rewrites when necessary, especially where "arc" episodes are involved.

Separately, the show's producers insist they didn't put the pilot episode online on purpose, and the final version will be somewhat different. They also explained why the pilot was shot in Toronto (as Boston), but the series is being shot in New York (as Boston): tax incentives. [THR Feed and 660 News]

Explaining that the movie's non-appearance has everything to do with the studio and nothing to do with a lack of finished special effects, Abrams said,

I'm very disappointed, because the characters are so good, the actors are so good, that I would have been psyched just to show some of the stuff that's about the people. Because it's not really about the visual effects. But with so little done... And this was a big kind of strategic decision on [Paramount's] part. so I was disappointed.

Just to rub salt into the geek wound, he repeated that this was part of a larger move from Paramount that will keep other movies from being previewed:

G.I Joe's not going. Transformers 2's not going.

Wow, thanks, JJ. Now I don't want to go.

Flickr image from Biriwilg.

Abrams Talks Trek, Comic-Con [SciFi Wire]

Fansite Dollhouse Forums - Just one of the many fansites already set up in support of the show - has arranged for writers Jed Whedon (Yes, he's related to Joss; he's his half-brother. No, he's not the brother that co-wrote Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog; that was Nate. What can we say? Apparently Joss likes to keep it in the family these days) and Maurissa Tancharoen to take questions between now and mid-August from the curious and spoiler-seeking. And once they're finished with their shifts, there are replacements being lined up to replace them:

We have been in contact with FOX about holding special Question & Answer sessions and they have stated that they would LOVE to hold interviews with the fans at Dollhouse Forums. We do not know all of the specific details yet, but YAY!

Right now they have stated, "...we are holding off on most cast interviews until we are back up and running and have several episodes filmed. I am going to put you on the top of our waiting list for cast interviews, and will be happy to facilitate this several months from now… probably towards the end of August."

So start thinking of questions to ask in August and we will probably set up a special thread for whichever actor/crew-member we can get a hold of for you guys!

This isn't the first outreach effort by the show to grab some fan love; even before the pilot episode was shot, series writers Elizabeth Craft and Sarah Fain were already spilling what they knew to an eager Dollhouse TV Forum site.

Dollhouse Forums Exclusive Q&A Interviews [Dollhouse Forums]

The show's first 13 episodes, or two British seasons worth, will air on BBC America starting August 9 at 9 PM. Halfway through that run, there's a plot twist that opens up the types of monsters we'll be seeing. The time rift turns out to access the future as well as the past, so weird scifi monsters also start turning up. Meanwhile, evolutionary zoology Professor Nick Cutter (Douglas Henshall) tries to contain the creatures. He's also searching for his missing wife, who may have disappeared into that time/space rift, and he discovers some secrets along the way. [IGN]

The Futon Critic was lucky enough to read the script for an episode and says that yes, it really isIt's Always Sunny in space, full of "selfish idiots" who pretty much ruin their own lives and the lives of others in every episode. The cast is made up with a pompus Captain Ron Teague, pilot Jane Beck (who is bipolar), head of security and body-builder Cobaltand, a robot who has been programed by the captain to be a wuss (the captain is afraid of robot uprisings), and the mechanic Pete who is a Manphibian. Lt. Zander Centari is sent in to make sure the crew is up to snuff, and of course it isn't. I hope this show lasts, just so I can hear the character deliver, "I will come to your home and photon the shit out of it!" before it gets canned by censors and other people who can't take a joke. [Futon Critic]

One glance at this mini-episode from Land of the Lost will tell you everything you need to know about why Will Ferrell is in the remake.

By far my favorite Krofft show, even cooler than Doctor Shrinker and Wonderbug, was ElectraWoman and DynaGirl. They worked for a magazine by day, and donned cute outfits and fought crime by night. Hey, at least I grew up to work for a magazine-like thing, even if I don't always wear yellow tights. I cannot believe how utterly funktastic their theme song is. Do you think ElectraWoman and DynaGirl were superlovers?

What I find really interesting about these cut-down MySpace episodes is that they actually work in their new, shrunken, share-this-video-online format. Some 70s culture does seem to survive the upgrade to the web, even if it has to become even more short-attention-span to do it. Really, I don't mind losing the boring parts of these episodes. Now I've got the very best stuff, and I'm actually going to visit MySpace to check out future mini-episodes as they become available.

Sid and Marty Krofft on MySpace [via MySpace]

According to Horizon Media's annual speculative report on the year's new shows, the three shows showing the most hit potential are Fringe, Jerry Bruckheimer's remake of UK science drama Eleventh Hour and, interestingly enough, ABC's Life On Mars, despite its current creative overhaul.

The series spin-off from February's Knight Rider revival isn't expected to do so well, but NBC can take some small level of comfort from Horizon's bleak prediction that no new show is going to win its timeslot in the all-important 18-34 age demographic. If they're still paying any attention to Horizon, that is: Last year, the report suggested that the big hit show of the year was going to be NBC's Bionic Woman, and we all know how that turned out.

Report: 'Fringe,' 'Eleventh Hour' will lead fall shows [Hollywood Reporter]

I'm sure people will put down last night's Doctor Who finale by calling it fanfic, but it was actually much worse — and somewhat better — than that term implies. Russell T. Davies left no fannish button un-pressed, and made so many ridiculous logic-flops in his epic storyline, that he practically elevated fanwank to a new artform. I couldn't help comparing it to last year's finale, which was also ridiculous but didn't require a PhD in Who-ology to follow.

There were things that happened in last night's episode that I read about weeks, or months, ago. But I didn't stick them in morning spoilers, or downgraded them to "crazy rumors," because they just seemed too ridiculous. In particular, the Doctor's regeneration resulting in two David Tennants, one of whom is "human." And then the "human" David Tennant is sentenced to go off with Rose and be her boytoy. I honestly thought even Russell T. wouldn't give Rose such a ridiculously contrived happy ending.

Doctor Who is taking a break next year, with just a few one-off specials instead of a full season. Ostensibly, this is because David Tennant wants a year off, so he can star in Hamlet with Captain Picard. But it's pretty obvious, after this latest season, that the show needs a rest anyway. Even with Davies leaving and new showrunner Steven Moffat coming on, a year off would give the show a much-needed chance to rethink and recharge.

When Who came back in 2005, it was fresh and different than anything that had come before, and it was also accessible to new viewers. But recently, the show has been stuck in a tired formula, and it's giving in to the temptation to reference its own past more and more often.

Take last night's episode: I was startled by how continuity-heavy it was. It was like a clips episode. And I had vaguely wondered, in advance, if the show would mention that Sarah Jane Smith had met Davros, back in 1974. But the show didn't just mention that fact — it went on and on and on about it, in one of Davros' 100 boring speeches about destiny and souls and stuff. (Was it just me, or did Davros talk for about 20 minutes?) Likewise, the episode didn't have to bring in the fact that Torchwood's Gwen Cooper is played by the same actor as the psychic maid in season one's "The Unquiet Dead," but why not? It's not as if there's a story that's being stopped dead in its tracks while we obsess over minor fannish details or anything.

By the way, I don't think it's an insult to call an episode like this "fanfic." I love fanfic, I've written fanfic before, and it fulfills an important purpose. Fanfic is how we get to explore some of the corners of a universe that the "official" canon will never get to. It's exactly where you should have a scene where Davros meets Sarah Jane again and they talk about their first meeting 34 years ago. Fanfic also lets us have the kinds of happy endings we wish our favorite characters could have, but which we know deep down would have us hooting with derision if they actually happened: like getting a magic duplicate of the Doctor for Rose to spend the rest of her life with. (Until she gets sick of him following her around and talking like Catherine Tate. I give it a week.)

So why do I say this almost elevated fanfic to an artform? It's sort of the way Torchwood season one created the most brilliant crystalization of slashfic in television form, actually. It was every fanfic cliche, from the multiple Mary Sues, to the shipper happy ending, to the Doctor suffering emotionally and getting hurt and needing comfort, to the endless processing of minor plot details from old stories. It's like Roy Liechtenstein turning cheesy comics panels into huge paintings — by blowing fanfic up to a huge size and making it larger and more colorful than life, we see what's beautiful about it.

There was a lot to love about this episode, including Catherine Tate having the time of her life as a hybrid Time Lady/human, Daleks shouting in German, the lunacy of the Haagen Dasz device and the dwarf-star-necklace both turning out to be useless, K-9 showing up to save the day for a second, the Annihilation Wave reality bomb being such a ludicrous plot device, the naked Doctor-clone, Captain Jack having some no-doubt-delightful fantasy involving the half-Time-Lord Donna and the two Doctors. There was a pretty great splashy finale buried in all that excess and fannish drool.

Really, this should have been Donna's episode, all about her own Bad Wolf-ization. It's too bad she got a bit lost in the crowd of old companions and random supporting characters. In particular, it's clear now that bringing Rose back was a mistake. She added almost nothing to the past few episodes, except for one or two cool big-gun moments and some random shipper fodder. She was incapable of actually saying a complete sentence without sounding as if she was about to swallow her own tongue, and she drained all the energy out of every scene she was in. The gritty, determined Rose I liked in "The Satan Pit" and a few other episodes was nowhere to be seen, and it was pretty clear that she was only there so she could get her pet faux-Doctor at the end.

I've mentioned that Donna has been growing on me this season, so I was bummed that she got screwed over so badly. I mean, she gets a half hour of being a semi-Time Lord, which seems to involve imitating David Tennant's mannerisms. And then she's dropped back right where she started, being the person who doesn't even notice that the Earth got moved across the universe and dropped into a hole in space/time. Not only that, but she's in a completely untenable situation: nobody can ever ask her what actually happened on her wedding day, or her head will explode. That's going to work out great.And it's all the Doctor's fault, because he was too vain to regenerate normally. He wanted to keep his current cute hairstyle for a while, so he used the severed hand, and condemned Donna to being a ticking time bomb for life. Oh, and did it feel like a Bad Wolf rehash to anyone else? Plus the fact that we were told she would "die" and then it turned out to be a metaphorical death, just like in "Doomsday"?

That's what the Doctor should feel guilty about, not the fact that Sergey Brin sacrificed himself back in the Sontaran episode. Who cares about Sergey Brin? He was a schmuck, and he didn't actually sacrifice his life for the Doctor, he died to save the whole human race. The Doctor would have to be a collossal egotist to think Sergey Brin died for him alone. (Okay, I can believe that.) After a couple of years without pretty much any character development for the Doctor, it's a tad weird to reach for the guilty-Doctor schtick from Paul Cornell's Timewyrm: Revelation. Especially since we just saw, two weeks ago, that everybody including Sergey Brin would have been toast without the Doctor. It's a no-win situation for Sergey.

And what was all that about the Doctor-dupe being emotionally scarred by destroying the Daleks? I literally didn't understand what the Alpha-Doc was going on about there. And the idea that the clone-Doc was in the same state that Christopher Eccleston's Doctor was in at the start of season one was also baffling — wasn't the ninth Doctor supposed to be scarred by years of the Time War, and the destruction of his own people? Not just ten minutes of pushing buttons to make some random Daleks explode? And why was Beta-Doc scarred and not Alpha-Doc? I know, I know, it's just an excuse to let Rose go off with the I-can't-believe-it's-not-the-Doctor. But it felt like the most random thing in a totally random episode.

Finally... I only have one question about Dalek Caan: Why has nobody uploaded a funny rap video to Youtube yet, featuring Grandmaster Melle Mel's rap from Chaka Khan's "I Feel For You," only about Dalek Caan? You know: "Dalek Caan, let me rock you, let me rock you Dalek Caan, let me rock you, that's all I wanna do..." Oh, I have one other question: prophecies? Prophecies?? Is this Battlestar Galactica all of a sudden? Seriously, it was just annoying when Davros kept talking about Dalek Caan the prophet, but then the Doctor started doing it too. I get it that Dalek Caan saw the time vortex (the same way Rose did, and the Master did?) so now he has special insights. But doesn't the Doctor Who universe feature free will? Isn't the future still mutable? Also, the idea that Donna's transformation was so important that echoes stretched backwards in time seemed a bit piffle. Time-travel and timey-whimey are not magic. (Well, maybe they are. But in the Doctor Who universe, they're not supposed to be.)

Okay, to sum up: You pretty much expect one of RTD's season finales to be ridiculous, include a huge deus ex machina, and make no sense. And this one lived up (or down) to your expectations. But it wasn't nearly as much fun as the dancing-Master/Doctor-Gollum episode last year. There was too much standing around and talking, for three or four hours. And too much fan-service. And as for crying... I cried like a drunk toddler during Wall-E, but I mostly laughed during this ep. It really could have been 20 minutes shorter, and woul dhave been much better for it. What did you think?

The Dark Knight:

The Orlando Sentinel posted the first five minutes of The Dark Knight, which director Christopher Nolan showed off a few months ago. The quality isn't that great, but much better than previous postings. Check out that gorgeous swooping shot into the window, right before it explodes afterwards. This sequence, involving the clown-masked baddies robbing a bank, will probably look fantastic in IMAX: The sense of scale makes Gotham City feel more real than it ever has. And I love the Joker's henchmen gossiping about him and mulling over double-crossing him, never realizing he's among them. And how you can tell which guy is the Joker just by his crazy loping gait. [Orlando Sentinel]

Heroes:

Heroes producers Joe Pokaski and Aron Colette spilled more of what's to come on their superhero soap opera. We'll learn who shot flying politician Nathan Petrelli right at the start of the season, but the first episode will actually start off four years in the future — alternating with a few minutes before Nathan is shot. We'll see more of clairvoyant artist Isaac's sketchbook around episodes 9-11, and we'll meet a new artist, with a familiar subject.

Also, since Claire share's Adam's healing abilities, she may also be immortal, like him. When Claire meets her mom again, they'll bond over being superpowered, even as Claire pushes her non-powered stepmom away. We'll see more of the contrast between Claire and Elle the electro girl, with Elle being like Claire's dark side, in season three. And Elle and Claire's uncle Peter will "kinda" meet again. As for Peter, he'll find his near-limitless power starting to corrupt him more.

When Hiro and Adam were in the Company's vault last season, we saw Adam grab a gold key, and there was a wooden horse figurine. The gold key will be super important in Heroes season seven. (If any.) And the wooden horse is full of tiny Greek men. Also, we may see something of the Company's files on the Petrelli family and Matt Parkman.

Claude the invisible guy is still alive, but we won't know for a while whom Claude was hiding from Noah when Noah shot him. Also, we'll learn more about the Haitian's life and character this year.

If there had been a second half to season two, we would have seen Peter try to rescue the plucky Irish barmaid Caitlin from the alternate future she was stranded in — but he'll be too busy in season three dealing with other problems. (Bros before hos, in other words.) In season three, we'll either learn what happened to Peter and Nathan's dad, or more about Linderman's wife. We will see Arthur Petrelli in a flashback by episode eight.

We'll continue to see Suresh trying to come up with technobabble terms for people's powers (which makes it sound like he won't actually die, as some have feared.) [Comic Book Resources

Papa HRG takes Claire to school in a new Heroes promo that just came out. [Heroes Spoilers]

Brea Grant, who plays Hiro's arch-nemesis speedster Joy, says she steals something Hiro needs for his quest. And her character will intersect with other main characters besides Hiro, and might actually do the right thing some of the time — even as some of our heroes will find themselves doing the wrong thing occasionally. Whenever she goes into a room, there's a blast of air blown onto everyone and then suddenly she's standing there. She sticks around at least as far as the sixth episode of the season. [Entertainment Weekly]

Doctor Who:

Here are a few more images from Saturday's Doctor Who season finale. Looking at these pics, I have one question: When Captain Jack meets Davros, is the immortal rogue going to hit on the Daleks' creator? (That would be so great!) [BlogtorWho]

And here's a snippet from the episode's script:
FRANCINE: What are all those numbers?
MARTHA stands, starts hoisting the Indigo Project
MARTHA: Grid reference. Now Jack's explained the base code, I know how this teleport works. I think. But you stay indoors, there's no Daleks on this street, you should be all right, just keep quiet. [Planet Gallifrey]

And here's a super brief clip from the episode, which follows on from the clip we showed earlier, of Sarah Jane, Jackie and Mickey in the clutches of the Daleks. [Spoiler TV]

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles:

We may see more of Jonathan Jackson as Kyle Reese in the Terminator TV show. (He popped up in the future segments of the episode "Dungeons And Dragons.") [TV Guide]

Smallville:

The first two episode titles of Smallville season eight are "Odyssey" and "Plastique." That second title leads people to speculate we'll meet Plastique, a DC Universe villain from the Firestorm and Captain Atom comics. (Didn't she date Captain Atom for a while?) Plastique wore a very skintight costume made out of plastic explosive, which she could trigger at will — but later she gained the less-clunky power of projecting explosive blasts at people. Also, she was a Quebec separatist. Meanwhile, it sounds as though Lex's disappearance leaves a power vacuum in Metropolis, which a ton of new villains rush into. That brings both Oliver and Clark to Metropolis to sort things out. [Babettew54]

Meanwhile, remember how we told you that extraterrestrial powerhouse Doomsday, aka Davis Bloome, was going to be a sexy bartender who flirts with Lois? Apparently he's also a paramedic — or maybe the "bartender" thing was just for his audition scene. He's now being described as a charismatic paramedic who confronts the ominous darkness within himself in his spare time. Everybody needs a hobby, I guess. Also, Tess, the woman who takes care of the missing Lex Luthor's affairs, is actually acting CEO of LuthorCorp. [TVZine]

Also, the theme of this season is "double identities," and we'll see Clark evolving the "Superman" identity as he tries to maintain the semblance of a normal life while fighting baddies. [TV Guide]

Stargate Atlantis:

Stargate: Atlantis will revisit the Weir storyline that was left hanging in in season four's "Be All My Sins Remembered" — but will do it without Torri Higginson, who refused to come back. But that episode will also mark the return of Fran. We'll also be catching up with Jeanie. Also, new female characters in SGA season five include Nicole "Dax" DeBoer as Dr. Alison Porter, and Leela Savasta as Capt. Vega. [TV Squad]

In the fifth new SGA episode, Ronon undergoes a terrible ordeal when his former friend Tyre captures him and delivers him to the Wraith. It's up to Ronon's friends to plan a rescue mission. [Spoiler TV again]

Besides the Justice gang, Souders also confirmed the return of Cyborg from the Teen Titans. Will he be a new addition to DC's Super Friends?

Souders also spilled what we've all been been expecting since featured characters have been jumping off the Smallville Titanic one after the other: this season will focus on the relationship between Lois and Clark. Clark gets a job at the Daily Planet (which was hinted at in the season finale). "The camaraderie as they work side-by-side that everyone loves from the DC Comics and all the Superman lore is going to come to fruition this year," Souders told TV Guide. "The two of them are thrown together in some unfortunate situations for Clark. She becomes a little bit of an obstacle to him saving the world, when he's on a deadline."

Sounds like a predictable year. Let's hope they switch things up and let Doomsday murder the doe-eyed Clark Kent and then have his way with feisty Lois.

[TV Guide]

S.H.I.E.L.D.

What does it stand for? Originally, it stood for Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division. In the 1990s, it was changed to Strategic Hazard Intervention, Espionage Logistics Directorate. Then, in the Iron Man movie, it was changed again to Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division. No idea if this final change is cannon or not. Will the comic books start calling it by its new, DHS-inflected name?

Where can you find it? Marvel comic books.

Key members: Nick Fury, Dum Dum Dugan, Gabriel Jones, Tony Stark, Maria Hill, Clay Quartermain

Its mission, as far as we can tell: To protect the world from bad things like Godzilla, terrorists, aliens, giant robots, and communism. In the recent series Civil War, SHIELD had to uphold the Superhero Registration Act and force all heroes to register with the U.S. government. This resulted in a major pissing match between Captain America and S.H.I.E.L.D., and ended in Captain America's death. S.H.I.E.L.D. is randomly associated with the U.N. or the U.S. (People from the U.S. have a hard time figuring out the difference between their country and the rest of the world.)

Any counter-organizations? HYDRA, which is spelled in all caps but is not an acronym. Warren Ellis made fun of S.H.I.E.L.D. with a group called H.A.T.E., which stands for Highest Anti Terrorism Effort.

SD-6

What does it stand for? Section Disparu 6 (French for Disappeared Unit 6)

Where can you find it? Alias TV series

Key members: Sydney Bristow (though she's tricked into it), Jack Bristow, Arvin Sloane, Jean Briault, Edward Poole (played by Roger Moore!)

Its mission, as far as we can tell: Weird spy shit. Digging up semi-mystical objects, retrieving semi-mystical objects from the bad guys, working with the CIA sometimes, killing people who know about SD-6, propagating weird family psychodrama.

Any counter-organizations? K-Directorate (with the wondrous Gina Torres) and FTL.

CONTROL

What does it stand for?

Unknown

Where can you find it?

Get Smart TV series

Key members: Agent 86 (Maxwell Smart), Agent 99, The Chief

Its mission, as far as we can tell: To work with the United States government to protect the nation from bad guys. Usually bad guys with bombs.

Any counter-organizations? KAOS, which is a Russian group nominally headquartered in Delaware for tax reasons.

U.N.I.T.

What does it stand for? United Nations Intelligence Taskforce, now shortened to Unified Intelligence Taskforce

Where can you find it? Doctor Who, Torchwood

Key members: the Doctor (in the 1970s), Doctor's former companion Dr. Martha Jones, Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, Dr. Elizabeth Shaw

Its mission, as far as we can tell: To protect the planet, and especially England, from alien invaders. They're barely secret at all, and work with the United Nations. Their first great battle was with the Cybermen.

Any counter-organizations? None.

The Dharma Initiative

What does it stand for?Department of Heuristics And Research on Material Applications

Where can you find it? Lost TV series

Key members: Founders Karen and Gerald deGroot, from spooky University of Michigan

Its mission, as far as we can tell: Funded by the mysterious Hanso Corporation, its mission was to be a scientific collective where people could study meteorology, psychology, parapsychology, zoology, electromagnetism, and what is hinted to be utopian socialism (the scariest discipline of all!).

Any counter-organizations? The Others, who gassed them and took over their research stations.

The Syndicate

What does it stand for? Not an acronym, but perhaps a metanym. It's also known as the Elders, the Consortium and the Group.

Where can you find it? X-Files TV series

Key members: The Smoking Man, X, Alex Krycek, William Mulder (Fox's dad), Alvin Kurzweil (no relation to Ray)

Its mission, as far as we can tell: Like an old-fashioned Illuminati-style group, they secretly influence world affairs in government and business. Originally they banded together to fight a group of aliens who wanted to colonize Earth using the black cancer, or black oil. But somehow they are also involved in lots of other ooky-gooey projects to hybridize humans and aliens, as well as create creepy diseases.

Any counter-organizations? The colonizer aliens.

M.I.B.

What does it stand for? Men In Black.

Where can you find it? The Men In Black movies.

Key members: Agent J, Agent K, Agent L

Its mission, as far as we can tell: To deal with alien life on Earth, which sometimes means protecting humans from aliens but mostly seems to mean protecting aliens from each other.

Any counter-organizations? Unknown

Lots of Gross, Cool Pseudo-Science
Though our hero Olivia points out in this scene (above) that she's not dealing with "pseudo-science," but rather "fringe science," I think we're mincing words here. Nobody wanted to name the show Pseudo, so they came up with something edgier. I love this list of "sciences" in an "area called fringe science" that Olivia spouts off as she tells soon-to-be-protagonist Joshua "Dawson's Creek" Jackson all about his mad doctor dad and his experiments. It's pretty much a here's-what's-coming sign for the entire show. So get ready for some invisibility, mutation, astral projection, resurrection, etc. This means hours of amusement for people who understand real science (I couldn't stop laughing when Olivia did a search online for "dissolve + flesh"), as well as a renewed sense of purpose for people who have missed the X-Files' spooky blend of government conspiracy and para-scientific bullshit that basically boiled down to REALLY COOL ALIEN STUFF.

In the pilot episode of Fringe, I can guarantee that you will get to see no fewer than three charmingly improbable pieces of "fringe science," one of which involves somebody taking a giant dose of Ketamine mixed with LSD and lying in a sensory deprivation tank. (Hello, Altered States?)

Add Alias Intelligence Ninja, Then Sift in Some Acid-Fueled Freakery from Lost. Stir.
Inevitably, people are going to compare Fringe to X-Files, and with good reason. But I think it's much closer to being a perfect blend of two previous Abrams projects: Alias and Lost. Olivia is practically a mirror-image of Sydney from Alias — she's got the smart-newbie thing going on, as well as the hot babe in a ponytail look. Though Sydney could be an annoying character, she was likable because she was a total ninja as well as being vulnerable. Like Sydney, Olivia is clearly going to be a smartypants rule-breaker who gets some hot spy-on-spy lovin' when she can manage to overcome her trust issues.

Here's the really good news for people who enjoy Lost's what-the-fuck quality but are sick of mysteries wrapped in enigmas swaddled in conspiracies painted over with secrets. Fringe is seemingly built to be episodic. Yes, there will be an overarching mystery — probably for the whole first season — involving the "pattern" and a Genentech-esque company called Massive Dynamics. There's some kind of conspiracy, a bunch of weird "turn you into a skeleton" experiments, and Olivia and her scooby gang have to figure it out. But each week promises to solve at least one mystery, or at least if the pilot is any indication it will. Hopefully, Abrams has finally found a format where he can give us a lot of standalone episodes without sacrificing those epic, Byzantine plot arcs he loves so much.

Suddenly DHS Is Totally Awesome
Do not expect any form of realism from Fringe whatsoever — not scientifically, and not in terms of how spy shit actually works. In the pilot episode, there are a series of rapid-fire discussions of how the people involved in the "incident" Olivia is investigating are from the CIA, DHS, and the FBI. Plus local police. Olivia is a "liason" of some nebulous description, which basically means that one week she's with DHS and the next she's with the Feds or SD-6 or SHIELD. Most of the pilot, however, focused on DHS, which is probably because most people have no idea what the hell the DHS does, except for maybe wave the USA-Patriot Act around a lot. And indeed, there is some waving of the USA-Patriot Act, which apparently has the power to get you into insane asylums to interview mad scientists.

It's Not Just a Government Conspiracy — It's a Corporate Conspiracy
In the post-government terrorist era, nobody would really believe that the US could muster up enough of a spy conspiracy to satisfy TV fans week after week. So Fringe adds corporate conspiracies on top of its blooming FBI/DHS potential conspiracy. Olivia is investigating a runaway chemical compound that reduces everybody to jelly. Turns out that the elder mad scientist in her scooby gang knows how it works, and he also worked on it with the elusive, Craig Venter-esque zillionaire who runs Massive Dynamics. (A road sign helpfully tells us that Massive Dynamics "does everything," but in the episode they mostly do creepy things with genetics and cool things with bionic arms.) Somehow Massive Dynamics is working with the FBI or maybe some other even more shadowy government agency. But the point is that the conspiracy stretches beyond the spies and into the crazy terrain of Big Science. I can't wait for Fringe to do an episode about some Google-esque company that is injecting evil code into the astral plane.

Bottom Line: The pilot was creepy, cool, and kind of gross. The scooby gang could use some work: Do we really need to have the irritating Frasier-esque banter between rebel scientist son and crusty old mad scientist dad? Also there is an unexpected and wonderful use of sans-serif fonts. Really awesome.

In a universe stocked with sentient robots and faster than light travel, you'd hope that science would have mastered something as mundane as the human reproductive system, yet the fictive cosmos are littered with unplanned pregnancies, bastard children, and all manner of unpleasant critters bursting from one's internal organs. Is any form of contraception safe in world of science fiction? We looked at seven tried and true methods and started to worry that the future we’ve envisioned is one in which we’re all paying child support.

Socially-Mandated Birth Control
How it works: When the world is on the verge of overpopulation and resources are strained, sometimes a government’s got to put the breaks on reproduction and restrict baby-making to the desirable few. After all, after thousands of years spent clawing to the top of the Darwinian ladder, we can’t have every Tom, Dick, and Beowulf Shaeffer dumping his DNA into the newly limited gene pool. Fortunately, there’s a veritable buffet of methods for de-fertilizing the populace. The body-numbing “ethical birth control pills” of Vonnegut’s Welcome to the Monkey House make sexual contact utterly uninteresting, while Andrew Neiderman’s The Baby Squad opts for the simpler solution of mass sterilization. The women of Sarah Hall’s Daughters of the North are fitted with an outwardly visible IUD, and Brave New World does away with childbirth entirely, making pregnancy the pinnacle of personal disaster and arming women with a birth control utility belt that would make Batman proud.

Why it fails: It turns out that the long arm of the government can only reach so far. In Hall’s book, women occasionally slip off the reservation to join the Carhullan Army, where they’ll take out that contraceptive device post haste. And, despite the looming threat of execution, women in The Baby Squad and Larry Niven’s “Known Space” stories have been known to get pregnant on the sly. Of course, sometimes birth control just plain fails. Even with a lifetime of practice at the Malthusian Drill, Brave New World’s beta Linda still manages to get knocked up, and with nary an abortion tower in sight.

Making it with a Robot
How it works: Assuming you’ve gotten a hold of one of those fully functional models and not one that’s genitally lacking, robots may be the perfect lovers – all that stamina with no messy gametes.

Why it fails: While this might work with entirely abiological specimens, the rules get tricky when your partner’s a Cylon. If you’re a human doing a Cylon, don’t fall in love. If you’re a fellow toaster, then plug away – unless you’re one of the Final Five. Which you might be. On second thought, it’s best just to use a rubber.

Male Birth Control
How it works: As modern researchers are tirelessly working to staunch the flow of sperm, Starfleet has long known the benefits of offering contraceptive injections to men. It reduces the odds of accidents and prevents alien-loving starship captains from leaving little Kirklets across the Alpha Quadrant.

Why it fails: As with its modern female analog, the male contraceptive injection is only good as long as you keep it up. And captains like Ben Sisko are just too busy bringing down evil empires, battling Pah-wraiths, and preserving the timeline to stop by Sick Bay for a hypospray. But not too busy, apparently, to get it on with Kasidy Yates.

Living in a World Without Men
How it works: Maybe all the men died off one day in a mysterious and bloody event. Maybe women have gone off and formed their own society without thinking to take a few Y chromosomes along. Maybe a whole species is kept female to control their breeding. Whatever the reason, the absence of sperm would seem to take pregnancy off the menu.

Why it fails: Even in the face of gendercide, men are not so easy to fell. There are bound to be a few hiding out in secret labs, in orbit, or dangling in straitjackets from the ceiling, ready to impregnate the first female who pounces. Or, as in Jurassic Park, the absence of males may prompt a handful of females to tiptoe across the gender line. And maybe men aren't a necessary component after all; the women of all-female utopia Herland opt for parthenogenesis, making themselves pregnant without the benefit of a partner.

Being Male
How it works: Thomas Beatie aside, it’s unlikely that a man is going to find himself pregnant at the gonads of another human being. Even exclusively male societies, like that in Lois McMaster Bujold’s Ethan of Athos, tend to rely on external gestation devices rather than construct a male womb.

Why it fails: While human fetuses find the male body hostile, other species may not be so discerning. From the Octavia Butler’s Tlic to Ridley Scott’s chestbursters to that Alien in Red vs. Blue, there are plenty of extraterrestrials perfectly happy to place their embryos in our bodies, regardless of a uterus.

Abstinence
How it works: We all learned it in school: the only surefire way to avoid pregnancy is abstinence. Or sodomy.

Why it fails: As Deanna Troi and Shmi Skywalker will tell you, keeping your knees shut doesn’t exactly guarantee a baby-free existence. When those microscopic or incorporeal beings want something from you, be it a Force-balancing messiah or a chance at fleshy life, they aren’t going to wait around for a little thing like sexual intercourse.

Death
How it works: In olden times, death generally put a damper on one’s ability to become a new parent. But with today’s medical advances, it’s best to dispose of every last shred of genetic material – ova, sperm, and any gestating alien life forms.

Why it fails: Giving birth to an Alien queen was just the sort of thing Ellen Ripley was trying to avoid when she jumped into a vat of boiling lead. Little did she know that, in the hands of Joss Whedon and a handful of ethically-challenged scientists, even death is no match for the miracles of the reproductive process.

Probably about 42 minutes plus commercials — which means a full 20-plus minutes may be cut out of the episode. The Sci Fi Channel famously cut some of the best parts out of last season's Who finale, "The Last Of The Time Lords" — including an amazing dance sequence. But that episode was only slightly longer than average, not 20 minutes longer.

Currently, it's not even clear when Sci Fi will air the episode. The channel's Schedulebot has the episode "Forest Of The Dead" airing this Friday, and then no Doctor Who on July 4. And then the channel is airing "Midnight" on July 11, and has "TBD" down for July 18 and 25... which presumably means the episodes "Turn Left" and "The Stolen Earth". That would put "Journey's End" on August 2nd, and the Sci Fi Channel hasn't announced its August schedule yet. So is it possible that Sci Fi will allow an extra half hour for "Stolen"? Or just make it a two-hour event, with even more commercials than usual? Yes, it's possible. The main constraint is that Sci Fi is showing new episodes of Stargate: Atlantis right after Who on Friday nights this summer. So for the episode to run long, it would have to start earlier in the evening, at 8 instead of 9. Right now, Sci Fi is re-running magical realism show Joan Of Arcadia on Fridays at 8 in July. So pretty much our only hope is that Sci Fi might ditch Joan for a week, and give us a heavily commercial-padded 90- or 120-minute running of the finale. (And then edit it down for reruns.) But I don't hold out much hope, honestly.

Oh, and here's a video about the making of the episode. We ran the actual clip from the episode in morning spoilers the other day, but you may not have seen the whole thing, from kids' show Blue Peter:

[TV Squad]

In the Middleman world, there are plastic surgery addicted aliens, gorillas addicted to mafia movies, and more. But the most random thing Morales has had to do throw down with a fish. "The strangest thing I've had to do as Wendy is punching a fish," Morales explained. "As Natalie it would be getting into a fight with a fish that wasn't actually there." What did this fish do to Morales? Apparently it was part of an illegal energy drink conspiracy where evil creators of an energy drink put a venom that turns you into an undead trout zombie into their drink, along with the antidote. The consumer becomes addicted, so if you don't have more of these drinks you become a trout zombie.

In other Middlmania, Morales explained a bit more on Kevin Sorbo's role in an upcoming episode. "Kevin Sorbo was great on the set," Morales said. "He is awesome he is a Middleman that came before Matt [Kessler] and he's come back to help us out on something. Its a really interesting role and the script is amazing... And the villain is really awesome. The villain in this episode is The Candle and he has a ray gun that can melt a melt a whole city." Besides Sorbo, another new face on set was Todd Statchwik (The Riches) who joins the cast for an episode.

Expect more character development from Wendy Watson, including a new love interest in the very next episode, "You're going to see more character development from Wendy, and loads more layers of her personality." Including a deeper look into Wendy's serious Daddy issues. Morales speculates there may be a big cliff-hanger Poppa reveal in the shows finale (which was a large part of The Middleman comic).

We asked why Wendy sometimes wears glasses and sometimes goes without. Said Morales, "It's kind of a Clark Kent thing. Whenever I'm doing Middleman-type work they are off, but sometimes I take them off when I'm not working."

Natalie Morales gets to deliver most of the show's funniest lines, and she also understands what her role means to other girls out there, "I like the fact that they wanted a Latina for the girl, and that I didn't have to play the stereotypical smoking hot Latina. Wendy is a regular girl, like a lot of my friends." Down with stereotpyical characters and up with the fish beatings. Middleman airs on Mondays at 10 PM, on ABC Family.

Fans hoping to re-create the momentum that made CBS reconsider the series' original cancellation haven't just stopped with creating the admittedly-depressing-sounding "Save Jericho Again" website (Seriously, it's the "again," isn't it? There's just something so... plaintive about it); they took the fight to the airwaves, buying ad time in the LA area on the Sci Fi Channel, Discovery Channel and, weirdly enough, History Channel - Maybe there was a package deal? - to bring their plight to the attentions that matter:

How better to show Carol, Karim, Dan, and Jon that we’re still behind them 100% in finding a new home for Jericho? How eloquently can we show Jericho’s cast and crew that we want them back? How loudly can we show other interested parties considering giving Jericho and our fan base a new home that we’re loyal, committed, and never-wavering — that we dig in and fight for something that’s so i