San Francisco, 4:04 PM
Mon Dec 14
17 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
Editor-in-Chief:
Annalee Newitz |
News Editor:
Charlie Jane Anders |
Associate Editor:
Meredith Woerner |
Assistant Editor:
Lauren Davis |
Weekend Editor:
Graeme McMillan |
Contributors:
Joshua Glenn
Stephen Goldmeier |
Ed Grabianowski |
Austin Grossman
Paul Hogan |
Lauren Davis |
Chris Hsiang |
Lynn Peril |
Ann VanderMeer
Alasdair Wilkins |
Graphic Designer:
Stephanie Fox |
Interns:
Tim Barribeau |
Julia Carusillo |
Alex Eichler |
Cyriaque Lamar |
Caitlin Petrakovitz |
Mary Ratliff |
Josh Snyder |
Just when I can't think io9 can surprise me anymore you guys just up the bar on the weird finds to post. That above is one cheesetastic movie and I need a copy.
The look of complete shame and embarrassment on the first dude's face as he bleeds out all over himself is just priceless. It's one thing to be in a crap film, but it's quite another to be totally aware you're in a crap film.
"Lady Terminator: She's the reincarnation of an ancient killer, thanks to a revolting incident involving a snake, a bikini-clad anthropologist, and a rose-petal-strewn "When Doves Cry" bed."
I didn't think it could get better than this, but then I read the summary and realized that yes it could.
Terminator Salvation was plagued with problems from beginning to end. First off, the original script should have been completely destroyed. Instead they took a massive turd, spent who knows how much money hiring different people to polish the turd (rewrite the script), and all the interesting stuff in that script was dropped.
THEN, they let some hot head A list actor rewrite the major roles to fulfill his ego which changed the story even more.
The movie was ruined even before the filming started, but instead of saying - "hold on, I'm not shooting anything until we get this story thing worked out", McG went ahead and basically made a really expensive music video. Sure, you can blame the producers instead (I blame them too), but how many times did McG say during production that he was focusing on the story, story, story. Either that was true or a lie, either way McG deserves a lot of blame.
This movie, it had some potential, especially with the hybrids. Terminator has always been about "cause and effect" and the duality of "humanity vs. machine". The Marcus / John Connor characters could have mirrored this well. Connor could have started out like his mother - crazy focused on fulfilling his destiny. He would be essentially like a machine, working day and night to better the resistance. The character played by Ironside would have essentially been part of John Connor.
Skynet creates Marcus to infiltrate the resistance and destroy John Connor. Eventually Marcus makes decisions of sacrifice to save John Connor, to save Kyle Reece. This in turn makes John Connor realize in order to become the leader he needs to be, he must not function like a machine. He needs to become compassion, become humanity. Kate is a good literal character to support John's need to become more compassionate, she would have been essentially ignored like a machine would ignore a pregnant woman but she would also help him realize he needed to change.
Indirectly, the hybrid program furthered John Connor's growth in becoming the leader of the resistance that would bring about victory, just as Skynet's plans indirectly created John Connor and helped him grow. Inversely, the hybrid program also helped Skynet to develop a better killing MACHINE - the T-800.
So you have John Connor and Marcus. Both are half machine, half human (not literally in Connor's case, but that is why Marcus exists, to show this literally). John Connor becomes a more humane leader, focused more on what he can do now, not so much on what his destiny is. Skynet becomes much more machine like, realizing it cannot rely on humans as a weapon because they cannot be programmed / they can defy programming. Marcus is the sacrificial lamb, he is the catalyst for both Skynet and John Connor.
Serena would have been a human that had essentially "sold her soul" for immortality - she would have been the precursor to Marcus, she would have been used by Skynet early on after determining that the Hybrids would be a good replacement for humans - a perfect race. She could have made the same choice as Marcus, to rebel, but with the technology she can live forever and lead the new race. She would of course be killed.
See? this would have been a much better movie because there is actually a story to be told. It would have used some of the old script and kept John Connor a main character, only difference with him is that he would have been more of a prick through out the film like General Ashdown.
McG needs to get donkey punched by M. Night and then they can role reverse. I would go really far with this but I don't want to get too far into territory that I am willing to go to bash on both of those shit directors.
@McWarrior: It does and it works well. I re-watched the teaser for The Last Airbender last night so I could remember how badly he is going to butcher one of my all time favorite cartoons with his retarded filmaking.
@GreyHammer: I know he's a producer on Supernatural. Saw an interview with him in regards to that [i.e. pre-terminator], and he came across as a Hollywood D-bag in that as well
but thinks that it was better than T3 (which he "didn't really pay attention to"
I don't think he paid much attention to T1 or T2, either.
T4 substantially misunderstood what the audience expected for the future of the Terminator series. We already saw what the future looks like in T1. Bleak, dark, with a landscape covered and teeming with machines. In other words: Hell. In T4, California still looks like there might be a Costco out there somewhere where the resistance is purchasing bullets and medical supplies. In T4, the machines have graciously allowed the resistance to have their own designated "area" and one assumes doesn't just nuke them because then the machines wouldn't have anyone left to fight. Poor machines. It's a tough apocalypse.
After all, one almost has to sympathize with the robots, who are fighting an enemy so hapless that their command is surprised that their plans have been found out when John Connor has spent the entire movie broadcasting them on the radio.
In fact, it's hard to believe the humans are so committed to Connor when just about anyone who works with him ends up dead. The original ending where Connor turns out to be a machine turns out to make a lot more sense when you think about it. In McG's interpretation of the Terminator franchise, Skynet may be banking on a long healthy life for John Connor.
@twophrasebark: I think you were part of the target audience that McG was supposedly looking forward to, the ones asking the tough questions to which he would quit at the first question with a "..you can go fuck yourself .." lol..
According to McG the machines in the future have feelings. i guess that part which would have clued us all in on his version of the T future was edited out in the hopes that we'd still retain some feelings for him later..
12/08/09
12/08/09
12/08/09
12/07/09
12/07/09
12/07/09
12/07/09
12/07/09
12/07/09
12/07/09
I didn't think it could get better than this, but then I read the summary and realized that yes it could.
12/07/09
THEN, they let some hot head A list actor rewrite the major roles to fulfill his ego which changed the story even more.
The movie was ruined even before the filming started, but instead of saying - "hold on, I'm not shooting anything until we get this story thing worked out", McG went ahead and basically made a really expensive music video. Sure, you can blame the producers instead (I blame them too), but how many times did McG say during production that he was focusing on the story, story, story. Either that was true or a lie, either way McG deserves a lot of blame.
This movie, it had some potential, especially with the hybrids. Terminator has always been about "cause and effect" and the duality of "humanity vs. machine". The Marcus / John Connor characters could have mirrored this well. Connor could have started out like his mother - crazy focused on fulfilling his destiny. He would be essentially like a machine, working day and night to better the resistance. The character played by Ironside would have essentially been part of John Connor.
Skynet creates Marcus to infiltrate the resistance and destroy John Connor. Eventually Marcus makes decisions of sacrifice to save John Connor, to save Kyle Reece. This in turn makes John Connor realize in order to become the leader he needs to be, he must not function like a machine. He needs to become compassion, become humanity. Kate is a good literal character to support John's need to become more compassionate, she would have been essentially ignored like a machine would ignore a pregnant woman but she would also help him realize he needed to change.
Indirectly, the hybrid program furthered John Connor's growth in becoming the leader of the resistance that would bring about victory, just as Skynet's plans indirectly created John Connor and helped him grow. Inversely, the hybrid program also helped Skynet to develop a better killing MACHINE - the T-800.
So you have John Connor and Marcus. Both are half machine, half human (not literally in Connor's case, but that is why Marcus exists, to show this literally). John Connor becomes a more humane leader, focused more on what he can do now, not so much on what his destiny is. Skynet becomes much more machine like, realizing it cannot rely on humans as a weapon because they cannot be programmed / they can defy programming. Marcus is the sacrificial lamb, he is the catalyst for both Skynet and John Connor.
Serena would have been a human that had essentially "sold her soul" for immortality - she would have been the precursor to Marcus, she would have been used by Skynet early on after determining that the Hybrids would be a good replacement for humans - a perfect race. She could have made the same choice as Marcus, to rebel, but with the technology she can live forever and lead the new race. She would of course be killed.
See? this would have been a much better movie because there is actually a story to be told. It would have used some of the old script and kept John Connor a main character, only difference with him is that he would have been more of a prick through out the film like General Ashdown.
12/06/09
12/06/09
McG needs to get donkey punched by M. Night and then they can role reverse. I would go really far with this but I don't want to get too far into territory that I am willing to go to bash on both of those shit directors.
12/06/09
Say it out loud. It works.
12/07/09
12/06/09
12/06/09
12/06/09
I don't think he paid much attention to T1 or T2, either.
T4 substantially misunderstood what the audience expected for the future of the Terminator series. We already saw what the future looks like in T1. Bleak, dark, with a landscape covered and teeming with machines. In other words: Hell. In T4, California still looks like there might be a Costco out there somewhere where the resistance is purchasing bullets and medical supplies. In T4, the machines have graciously allowed the resistance to have their own designated "area" and one assumes doesn't just nuke them because then the machines wouldn't have anyone left to fight. Poor machines. It's a tough apocalypse.
After all, one almost has to sympathize with the robots, who are fighting an enemy so hapless that their command is surprised that their plans have been found out when John Connor has spent the entire movie broadcasting them on the radio.
In fact, it's hard to believe the humans are so committed to Connor when just about anyone who works with him ends up dead. The original ending where Connor turns out to be a machine turns out to make a lot more sense when you think about it. In McG's interpretation of the Terminator franchise, Skynet may be banking on a long healthy life for John Connor.
12/06/09
According to McG the machines in the future have feelings. i guess that part which would have clued us all in on his version of the T future was edited out in the hopes that we'd still retain some feelings for him later..
12/06/09