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Just when I can't think io9 can surprise me anymore you guys just up the bar on the weird finds to post. That above is one cheesetastic movie and I need a copy.
The look of complete shame and embarrassment on the first dude's face as he bleeds out all over himself is just priceless. It's one thing to be in a crap film, but it's quite another to be totally aware you're in a crap film.
"Lady Terminator: She's the reincarnation of an ancient killer, thanks to a revolting incident involving a snake, a bikini-clad anthropologist, and a rose-petal-strewn "When Doves Cry" bed."
I didn't think it could get better than this, but then I read the summary and realized that yes it could.
This movie has no nudity, or is just an impression caused by edtiting?
How is possible for a movie that has snakes that lives on vaginas and eat dicks have no nudity?
@cadrina: I suspect it's an editing thing... this is just the chunks that got posted on youtube. I was trying to track down an actual copy of the film but haven't succeeded yet.
Terminator Salvation was plagued with problems from beginning to end. First off, the original script should have been completely destroyed. Instead they took a massive turd, spent who knows how much money hiring different people to polish the turd (rewrite the script), and all the interesting stuff in that script was dropped.
THEN, they let some hot head A list actor rewrite the major roles to fulfill his ego which changed the story even more.
The movie was ruined even before the filming started, but instead of saying - "hold on, I'm not shooting anything until we get this story thing worked out", McG went ahead and basically made a really expensive music video. Sure, you can blame the producers instead (I blame them too), but how many times did McG say during production that he was focusing on the story, story, story. Either that was true or a lie, either way McG deserves a lot of blame.
This movie, it had some potential, especially with the hybrids. Terminator has always been about "cause and effect" and the duality of "humanity vs. machine". The Marcus / John Connor characters could have mirrored this well. Connor could have started out like his mother - crazy focused on fulfilling his destiny. He would be essentially like a machine, working day and night to better the resistance. The character played by Ironside would have essentially been part of John Connor.
Skynet creates Marcus to infiltrate the resistance and destroy John Connor. Eventually Marcus makes decisions of sacrifice to save John Connor, to save Kyle Reece. This in turn makes John Connor realize in order to become the leader he needs to be, he must not function like a machine. He needs to become compassion, become humanity. Kate is a good literal character to support John's need to become more compassionate, she would have been essentially ignored like a machine would ignore a pregnant woman but she would also help him realize he needed to change.
Indirectly, the hybrid program furthered John Connor's growth in becoming the leader of the resistance that would bring about victory, just as Skynet's plans indirectly created John Connor and helped him grow. Inversely, the hybrid program also helped Skynet to develop a better killing MACHINE - the T-800.
So you have John Connor and Marcus. Both are half machine, half human (not literally in Connor's case, but that is why Marcus exists, to show this literally). John Connor becomes a more humane leader, focused more on what he can do now, not so much on what his destiny is. Skynet becomes much more machine like, realizing it cannot rely on humans as a weapon because they cannot be programmed / they can defy programming. Marcus is the sacrificial lamb, he is the catalyst for both Skynet and John Connor.
Serena would have been a human that had essentially "sold her soul" for immortality - she would have been the precursor to Marcus, she would have been used by Skynet early on after determining that the Hybrids would be a good replacement for humans - a perfect race. She could have made the same choice as Marcus, to rebel, but with the technology she can live forever and lead the new race. She would of course be killed.
See? this would have been a much better movie because there is actually a story to be told. It would have used some of the old script and kept John Connor a main character, only difference with him is that he would have been more of a prick through out the film like General Ashdown.
I'm gonna take a hit on this one and say the end of T3 was my favorite part of all four films. It was beautiful, poignant, poetic and incredibly logical... all while explaining why Kyle Reese never just went back and murdered baby Miles Dyson.
That said, please, please, please keep McG as far away from any future Terminator movies as you possibly can!
12/08/09
12/08/09
12/08/09
12/07/09
12/07/09
12/07/09
12/07/09
12/07/09
12/07/09
12/07/09
I didn't think it could get better than this, but then I read the summary and realized that yes it could.
12/07/09
How is possible for a movie that has snakes that lives on vaginas and eat dicks have no nudity?
12/07/09
12/07/09
12/07/09
THEN, they let some hot head A list actor rewrite the major roles to fulfill his ego which changed the story even more.
The movie was ruined even before the filming started, but instead of saying - "hold on, I'm not shooting anything until we get this story thing worked out", McG went ahead and basically made a really expensive music video. Sure, you can blame the producers instead (I blame them too), but how many times did McG say during production that he was focusing on the story, story, story. Either that was true or a lie, either way McG deserves a lot of blame.
This movie, it had some potential, especially with the hybrids. Terminator has always been about "cause and effect" and the duality of "humanity vs. machine". The Marcus / John Connor characters could have mirrored this well. Connor could have started out like his mother - crazy focused on fulfilling his destiny. He would be essentially like a machine, working day and night to better the resistance. The character played by Ironside would have essentially been part of John Connor.
Skynet creates Marcus to infiltrate the resistance and destroy John Connor. Eventually Marcus makes decisions of sacrifice to save John Connor, to save Kyle Reece. This in turn makes John Connor realize in order to become the leader he needs to be, he must not function like a machine. He needs to become compassion, become humanity. Kate is a good literal character to support John's need to become more compassionate, she would have been essentially ignored like a machine would ignore a pregnant woman but she would also help him realize he needed to change.
Indirectly, the hybrid program furthered John Connor's growth in becoming the leader of the resistance that would bring about victory, just as Skynet's plans indirectly created John Connor and helped him grow. Inversely, the hybrid program also helped Skynet to develop a better killing MACHINE - the T-800.
So you have John Connor and Marcus. Both are half machine, half human (not literally in Connor's case, but that is why Marcus exists, to show this literally). John Connor becomes a more humane leader, focused more on what he can do now, not so much on what his destiny is. Skynet becomes much more machine like, realizing it cannot rely on humans as a weapon because they cannot be programmed / they can defy programming. Marcus is the sacrificial lamb, he is the catalyst for both Skynet and John Connor.
Serena would have been a human that had essentially "sold her soul" for immortality - she would have been the precursor to Marcus, she would have been used by Skynet early on after determining that the Hybrids would be a good replacement for humans - a perfect race. She could have made the same choice as Marcus, to rebel, but with the technology she can live forever and lead the new race. She would of course be killed.
See? this would have been a much better movie because there is actually a story to be told. It would have used some of the old script and kept John Connor a main character, only difference with him is that he would have been more of a prick through out the film like General Ashdown.
12/07/09
That said, please, please, please keep McG as far away from any future Terminator movies as you possibly can!
12/07/09
12/06/09