The remake of 1950s camp-horror classic The Blob is still flash-frozen in development somewhere, but New Zealand is leading the rest of the world in Blob-mania.

It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so the New Zealand cancer foundation has unleashed "bulbous, veiny street art tumors" (as Animal NYC puts it) on the unsuspecting people of Auckland, to make people more aware of breast cancer by blocking sidewalks and wobbling bizarrely unpleasant-looking flesh in their faces. And there's an ad, which shows a tumor growing so large, it bursts out of a house:

Steve McQueen never had to deal with anything like this. [Animal NYC, thanks Mark Copyranter!]

Zombie is excited to break out of the horror genre, and get his hands on some actual science fiction. And this could be one remake that actually improves on the original.

According to the trades, Zombie knows what he has to change about the back story to make it appealing to modern day audiences.

"My intention is not to have a big red blobby thing — that's the first thing I want to change," Zombie said. "That gigantic Jello-looking thing might have been scary to audiences in the 1950s, but people would laugh now."

So expect to see a globby thing that's more gross and less food-like.

[Variety]

The new video bios play up the "dark'n'angsty" side of Wolverine over the action side, and make it look like a totally different movie than we've been promised so far. Suddenly, it's all about mutants being an oppressed minority, and Stryker doesn't just want to use them to fight bad guys - he wants to cure them, the only way you can: by killing them. It makes sense with Stryker's character in the later movies, but it's a definite shift in tone from the other promos. Here they are:

Emma Frost

Frederick J. Dukes

William Stryker

Everybody Together Now:

After viewing Emma Frost's video, I can't help but think she's more of a "pissed off substitute teacher" rather than the famous bitchy she-devil who could kill you just by thinking about it. They also seem to focus a lot more on the diamond skin, over her telepathic abilities (which I also thought were much more intense and frightening, in the comics). You guys have mentioned the troubling look and feel of the live adaptation Emma before, but I think this video brings the murmurs up a notch. Is anyone remotely interested in what we're being handed here? I'm aware that we can't have her parading around in her tiny white comic-book ensemble, but this is a really watered down replacement.

Update: Apparently we're not alone in this confusion/anger. Others disagree, but I still wouldn't go so far as to call the White Queen a whore.

From the latest issue of Loeb's current high-profile Marvel series, Ultimatum:
You may be wondering what's going on there, because what you're seeing doesn't make that much sense, so I'll happily confirm: That is X-Men villain The Blob eating former Avenger (or, considering this is the Ultimate universe, "former Ultimate") The Wasp.

Now, last time I checked, The Blob wasn't actually a cannibal... he was just a guy whose superpower was being really, really fat (A superpower that, let's face it, should belong to someone like Tenzil Kem). But then again, this is the self-consciously "extreme" Ultimate Universe version of the character, as well as the somewhat bombastic Jeph Loeb, a man for whom cannibalism is apparently just one of the many traits of a successful supervillain.

I have to admit, seeing this scene brings about two reactions in me. Firstly, sadness for poor Wasp, who has just been killed for the second time in a month (The "regular Marvel Universe" version of the character died at the conclusion of the publisher's big Secret Invasion series), and perhaps most importantly, happiness at the realization that, with Loeb no longer involved with the NBC drama, we're much less likely to see Hayden Panettiere being eaten on network television.

Ultimatum [Marvel.com]

It's hard to quibble with their picks for best movies and books. Being mostly Brits, the New Scientist group put Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy at the top of the novel heap. Iain M. Banks would have won, but his vote was split among a few of his books. (Including Feersum Enjinn. Really?) Frank Herbert's Dune also came close to winning. The best movie, according to the NS crew, was Blade Runner, followed by 2001: A Space Odyssey, Solaris and Serenity.

The "worst" lists might be a tad more controversial. The worst SF books include 3001, Arthur C. Clarke's fourth and final book in the Space Odyssey series, and L. Ron Hubbard's Dianetics. The worst films were The Blob and David Lynch's Dune. Several people apparently also voted for The Matrix (the original) for worst film, but others named it one of the best. One person said of The Matrix:

It has one of the worst backplot elements ever: using people as power sources. I could write an essay on how ludicrous that is.

Finally — and here's the part where some people may disagree violently — the New Scientist staff named Primer the "most incomprehensible" science fiction movie.

"Well worth watching," said one of our editors, "though you might be excused for wondering if it makes any sense at all."

You can vote for your own favorite books and movies, and give your reasons, at this link. Or you could just write a diatribe about why Primer really does make sense, if you watch it eight times. Shape-shifting robot image by Mondolithic Studios for New Scientist. [New Scientist]

The event, called BlobFest 2008: The Golden Age of Monsters celebrates the 50th anniversary of the film’s release in a number of different ways. For example, why not enter Friday's "Tin Foil Hat Competition"?

Hats must be wearable, made mostly of tin foil and will become the property of the Colonial Theatre. YES, they WILL become OURS — MwaHaHaHaaaaaa! Hats will be judged on originality, craftsmanship and, of course, their ability to protect the wearer from alien rays (invisible and otherwise), and thought-reading, mind controlling devices of assorted origins. You Will Be Tested.

If you're of a more athletic bent, then you'll love the fact that you can re-enact the running out of the theater scene with all your friends... as long as you're sitting in the right place, that is:

Those seated in the balcony do not participate in the running out re-enactment. You must be seated on the first floor of the auditorium to run out.

Other events include a Blob Location Tour, a Steve McQueen Lookalike contest, and a fire extinguisher parade to remember the one weapon that's able to stop the deadly monster. Thankfully, the three days of Blob-centricism will also include four showings of the movie itself (as well as screenings of The Tingler, Creature From The Black Lagoon (in 3-D) and Steve McQueen documentary An American Rebel), just in case you forget what you're supposed to be celebrating, what with everything else that's going on.

Blobfest [via Monsters and Critics]

Here's how director Zach Snyder describes the political backdrop in his movie of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' Watchmen:

I do believe the cold war stakes are pivotal to the film's success because in order to believe Adrian's storyline, you have to believe that he believes that the threat of nuclear war is not only real, but also imminent. We've put a lot of effort into trying to infuse the story with that notion — using every appropriate opportunity to reinforce the Soviet presence and the looming threat of a nuclear war on a global scale.

More spoilers:

• Least shocking spoiler ever: Harvey Dent will become Two-Face in Batman: The Dark Knight. [ENews]
• The Blob will definitely appear in the Wolverine solo movie, sources say. Supposedly the producers have already done FX tests with an actor in a rubber suit (?) that makes him look like he's 800 pounds, but they'll use CGI to increase his apparent weight to 1200 pounds. [FilmSchoolRejects]
• Also, this is hardly a spoiler, but aparently Danny Huston will play the mutant-hating scientist Stryker, and Lynn Collins will play Wolverine's love interest Silver Fox. [First Showing]
• The first season of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles ends with John Connor at odds with his uncle (Brian Austin Green) over whether Summer Glau can be trusted. Also, Ellison finds he has an enemy within the FBI. [SpoilerTV]
• Kyle is suspected of being a ringleader in a cheating scandal at his school, in the March 4 episode of Kyle XY. And the scandal could cause the cancellation of the prom! Oh noes! Also, Jessi pushes herself harder to train for the Latnok presentation; [TurkeyWhisperer]
• The as-yet-unwritten ninth episode of the new Lost season was slated, before the strike, to be a Ben-centric episode in which we meet a math professor. There's some kind of secret formula, involving the famous numbers 4,8,15,16,23 and 42, which leads to something called the "Jacobian Code." [Spoilerati]
• CJ7, that cute green puppy in Stephen Chow's CJ7, dies! Oh noes! [Remorse of a Sugar Junkie]
• On Torchwood, you know how Owen dies, and then comes back from the dead as the Weevil King? (And we all stop watching Torchwood forever?) Apparently he does eventually go back to being human. And here are pics to prove it. Is Owen holding a gun at Gwen's wedding in that second pic? [Doctor Who Mania]

Of course, height isn't everything. But it counts for a lot in monsterland. As Robert B. Parker writes in one of his Spenser novels, a tough tall person will always beat a tough short person in a fight. (He never learned Judo?) So here's our round-up of which giant monster is the tallest:

Ymir. The monster from Venus in 20 Million Miles To Earth, the Ray Harryhausen classic.
Height: Only about 4 meters. Bah.

The Blob. An extraterrestrial lump of flesh-eating goo that stalks Steve McQueen.
Height: It keeps getting bigger and bigger, so it's hard to say how tall it could have gotten. It gets big enough to engulf the Downington Diner, which is probably at least 10 meters tall.

King Kong. America's giant ape, whose only weakness is beauty.
Height: In the 1933 original, he's 50 feet (15 meters) tall. In the Peter Jackson version, he's shrunk to about 8 meters. In Godzilla vs. King Kong, he's suddenly upgraded to 46 meters, so the movie doesn't just consist of Godzilla wiping splatted ape off his foot.

Yongary. The South Korean version of Godzilla.
Height: 50 meters, according to a few sites.
Cloverfield monster. He's sort of a big ugly thingy with a weird head and evil parasites. Here's an animated gif of him dancing.
Height: These people claim he's about 60 meters. That might be a bit on the short side. He's able to whack some tall buildings. But he does take a swing at the Statue of Liberty, which is only 40 meters tall. So he can't be too much taller than it is, or it wouldn't even have been in his line of vision. Here's one fan's handy chart of how the Statue of Liberty, 1954-vintage Godzilla, and the world's tallest Buddha statue all measure up:
Gamera. Evil giant armored turtle guy with fireballs and the power to fly at Mach 3.5.
Height: 80 meters.
Godzilla. Japan's uber-monster and star of a zillion movies.
Height: 100 meters, but it used to be 50.

King Ghidorah. Maybe Godzilla's biggest rival, an awesome three-headed space dragon with bat wings... often mind-controlled into fighting Godzilla and other daikaiju monsters.
Height: 150 meters, but he used to be just 100. Here he is towering over Godzilla.
Kroll. Big octopus guy. Pretty much Doctor Who's only entry in the giant monster genre, from "The Power of Kroll." (Okay, there was that Loch Ness Monster, but he was puny.)
Height: His head alone is 250 meters high, according to this site. Here's a clip of him celebrating being the biggest giant monster:

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• C.H.U.D.: This is probably one of the best known sewer monster movies, which is what happens when you bury nuclear waste under New York City. Luckily, a cop, a reporter, his girlfriend, and a street bum band together to fight it. And if you've always wondered what it stood for, you can quit: "Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller". But wait a minute, one of the containers in the film also says "Contamination Hazard Urban Disposal" on it. Thanks for making it confusing filmmakers. It's also the name of a movie website, where it stands for "Cinematic Happenings Under Development," and they've lovingly named their message boards the "Sewer Chewer".
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• The Blob: In the 1988 remake of the Steve McQueen classic, a meteorite falls to Earth that contains a strange visitor who looks like, well... a blob of jelly. It soon starts attacking people and then retreats into the sewer system, where it can roam free and wreak havoc. (In the original film, it doesn't make use of the sewers for some reason). Written by Frank Darabont, and starring Kevin Dillion, it faded quickly into the bad remake file.
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• Them: In this 1954 film, radiation causes ants to grow to enormous size and seek out somewhere homey to set up a new nest. Namely, the Los Angeles sewer system. The ending of the film promises future atomic horrors, and it went on to become Warner Bros highest grossing film for that year. Apparently mutated ants + the sewer = big money.
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• Weird Science: While it didn't exactly come directly from the sewers, Lisa uses her science-magic powers to turn Wyatt's annoying older brother Chet into a shit monster. Literally. He becomes gross ball of farting poop until he finally apologizes to Wyatt and Lisa de-mutates him at the end.
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• Dogma: In Kevin Smith's religious comedy, the Golgothan is the excrement monster that Jason Lee sends after Jay and Silent Bob. He's made up of all the evil shit from all over the world, and even has his own action figure that farts when you squeeze it. Unlike the Charmin.
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• Monsturd: We shit you not (sorry), this is the actual title of this 2003 direct to video gem. A serial killer escapes from jail and gets chased into the sewers, where he falls into a pool of chemicals. As you'd expect, the chemicals transform him into a half-human, half-poop monster who goes on a killing spree.

Beware of The Blob
It creeps and leaps and glides and slides
Across the floor

Famous names: Directed by Irvin S. Yeaworth, Jr.; stars Steve McQueen in his breakout role as the lead teen Steve.

Life lesson: When cops are mean to teenagers, it's not because the teens are bad - it's because the cops have PTSD.

Sight you'll never unsee: 28-year-old McQueen trying to look 17 while car-racing his oddly misshapen buddies backwards down the road in dumb homage to the "chickie run" in Rebel Without a Cause.

Spinoffs/Sequels/Copycats: 1988 remake was mostly unmemorable except for an appearance by Matt Dillon's little bro Kevin Dillon.

The Blob Fan Site