So you just woke up from a nine-year coma, you’re missing an arm, and there’s a giant horn implanted in your forehead. Whatcha gonna do? »
If you’re familiar with the frequently ridiculous batshit insanity that is the Metal Gear Solid franchise, you’ll look at the above picture of a dog, in a sneaking suit, with an eye patch, and holding a knife it its mouth, and treat it as perfectly normal. The rest of us, meanwhile, will go “buh-whaaaaa???” »
For the past few days, I’ve done very little but play Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, a new video game made by the well-known spa company Konami. I’ve been sneaking and shooting through deserts and forests. I’ve infiltrated bases, crippled soldiers, and taken four showers. It has been wonderful.