I'm usually a huge fan of the digital shorts, and sass others who say they're lame or simply not funny, but I was one of the others last night, and it stung. That is, until Brian Austin Green showed up.

Monday

The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
Cameron is sick and tired of having Riley around this week. Also Sarah goes to a UFO convention and tracks down a blogger who knows the significance of the three dots. Please don't beat us up, Sarah! TSCC is on Fox at 8 PM

TSCC Clip:

TSCC Clip:

TSCC Promo:

Chuck -
It's a very merry Chuckmas special on NBC this week. Our floppy headed hero gets held hostage and Casey gets shot, but the biggest surprise of all is Sarah's gift. Chuck is on 9 PM.

Chuck Promo:

Heroes -
More fighting from the brothers, side choosing and destiny following as the "Villains" arc winds down. Start placing your bets on which brother is going to kick it this time. Heroes, the show with no real consequences, is on 9 PM on NBC.

Heroes Clip:

Heroes Promo:

My Own Worst Enemy -
Over on the personality switcheroo show, Edward thinks he can solve their problem once and for all — he just needs to sacrifice his children to the wraith god. Oh what, like you're watching this show? MOWE is on NBC at 10 PM.

Gundam 00 -
One full hour of mecha madness on the Sci Fi Channel from 11 PM until 12.

Movies:
Watch Uma Thurman kick Luke Wilson's ass as a crazy ex-girlfriend who just so happen to have super powers on My Super Ex-Girlfriend on 4:40 PM on HBO.

Tuesday

No new Fringe this week

The Universe -
Get a brain full of deadly comets and meteors and find out which one killed my friend Mr. Dinosaur. And what sky rock will probably Deep Impact our little planet. The Universe is on The History Channel at 9 PM.

The Universe Promo:

Wednesday

Pushing Daisies -
Norwegian detectives flood the pie maker's place of work, and they may uncover Chuck's secret. Pushing Daisies is on ABC at 8 PM.

Are the muppets fantasy or scifi? I don't know but they're having a kick ass Christmas special on NBC at 8 PM. Be there, or no longer be my friend.

Movies:
There's silver liquid robot madness over at AMC. That's right, the biggest and the best terminator (Terminator 2) is on at 5 PM. And if you're jonesing for even more Terminator madness, Terminator 3 is on FX at 8 and 10:30 PM.

Thursday

No new Smallville this week.

No new Supernatural this week.

No new Life On Mars this week.

No new Eleventh Hour this week.

Testees -
Ron and Pete are given a blind test from Testico, but they won't tell them the side effects. So the two stop eating and sleeping, and fall into madness worrying about what will happen to them. "Project X" is on FX at 11 PM.

Movies:
The best kind of wars happen with dragons, so brace yourself for Dragonwars on the Sci Fi Channel at 7 PM.

And later celebrate the holidays with a hottie mutants and buggy eyes. Total Recall is on the Sci Fi Channel at 9 PM.

Word is still out weather or no Whoville is another planet, I'm saying probably. Watch the original and see if you can tell what part of the galaxy the Grinch lives, in Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas at 8 PM on ABC Family.

Friday:

No new Batman: The Brave And The Bold this week.

No new Clone Wars

No new Stargate

Sanctuary -
The monster squad over at Sanctuary track a rare creature while the news cameras are rolling. Sanctuary is on the Sci Fi Channel at 10 PM.

Movies:

I'm going to go ahead and argue that the Tim Allen Santa Clause movies are urban fantasy. The Santa Clause 2 is on ABC Family at 8 PM. Watch as Santa finds himself a mate for life.

Saturday

Movies:
Blow some shit up with Tom Cruise and friends, in J.J. Abrams' Mission Impossible 3 on TNT at 8 PM.

Sunday

Movies:

John Goodman plays Jolly Old Saint Nick and Delta Burke is the first lady of holidays, in this is the live action retelling of the classic stop motion The Year With Out Santa Claus. But sorry, no stop motion Snow Miser? No deal, fellas. The Year Without A Santa Claus is on ABC Family 11 AM.

Here's the original Stop Motion Miser dance:

Here Is the Live Action Miser Dance (I'm sorry):

Monday:

The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
Sarah and Cameron have to protect Derek's past family. But of course the family doesn't really believe them until Cameron takes a round of bullets to the chest and doesn't flinch. Then they start listening. The new Sarah Connor Chronicles is on 8 PM on Fox.

TSCC Promo:

TSCC Clip:

TSCC: Clip:

Chuck -
Find out why Sarah's con-man daddy (the fabulous Gary Cole) was in prison and watch Sarah move heaven and hell to help him get out of trouble from his last big con. Also there appears to be a Delorean in this episode somewhere. Because Chuck, if you haven't figured it out yet from NBC bludgeoning you over the head about it, is a GEEK. "Chuck Versus the Delorean" is on NBC at 8 PM.

Chuck Promo:

Heroes -
Hiro and Claire time-travel around, leaning about how Noah got the baby cheerleader from Kaito Nakamura, but I'm sure none of this temporal meddling will change the present a bit. Oh and there's yet another climatic fight that we've all been waiting for. Heroes, the show with no real consequences, is on 9 PM on NBC.

Heroes Clip:

Heroes Promo:

My Own Worst Enemy -
Nobody can get along this week, over at Christian Slater's magical super secret agent spy agency. Mavis and Alistair (real names) are arguing about how to rescue these hostages that Edward and Raymond found in Angola. Then Dr. Skinner (not the yellow-faced principal from The Simpsons, mind you, but a lady) is called in about her relationship with Edward. My Own Worst Enemy is on NBC at 10 PM. Watch if you dare.

Gundam 00 -
One full hour of mecha madness on the Sci Fi Channel from 11 PM until 12.

Movies:

Get a glimpse of a young Winona Ryder before she went all crazy. She's paired with a super emo Johnny Depp in Edward Scissorhands, on HBO at 1 PM.

Tuesday:

There is a Tales From The Darkside marathon on the Sci Fi Channel from 6 AM until 2:30 PM.

No new Fringe this week.

The Universe -
Curious to see the faces of our interstellar alien friends? Well, check out The Universe at 9 PM on The History Channel.

The Universe Promo:

Movies:

The Librarian: The Curse of the Judas Chalice — or National Treasure for dummies — is on TNT at 7 PM.

AMC has its usual scifi round up of sweaty chested lovelies Matthew McConaughey and Christian Bale getting all hot and bothered over dragons in Reign Of Fire at 8 PM, followed by more intense action with Terminator 2 on 10 PM.

Wednesday:

There's a Special Unit 2 marathon on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM until 3 PM. Wait, you don't remember Special Unit 2? Let me refresh your memory, rocking guitar opener and all:

Pushing Daisies -
Olive leads the team to crack the mysterious murder of the lighthouse keeper, and Ned has to deal with the sudden appearance of Chuck's Pappy and all his creepy bandages. Pushing Daisies is on ABC at 8 PM.

Pushing Daisies Promo:

No new Knight Rider this week.

UFO Hunters -
This week, let's crack the whole mystery behind the Arizona lights. Apparently there's been a bit of a situation with light/alien/just-a-plane activity in the Arizona skies. The new episode is on The History Channel at 10 PM.

Here's a news report about when UFO Hunters came to Phoenix:

UFO Hunter Promo:

Movies:

TCM is having a fabulous day of scifi specials. The Cat People are taking over at 6 AM, followed with Return Of The Cat People at 7:30 — and this classic movie is dayum scary especially when you can hear the cat person nom, noming it's prey. But for serious, it's scary.

At 12:30 and 2 PM, TCM will fill you up with evil children with Village of the Damned first, followed by Children Of The Damned.

2001: A Space Odyssey classic will be appearing at 3:30 PM on TCM, and at 6 PM there's 2010.

Thursday:

No new Smallville this week.

No new Supernatural this week.

No new Life On Mars this week.

No new Eleventh Hour this week.

Testees -

This week on Testees, the boys lose the ability to feel pain. So Ron becomes a daredevil, and Peter a boy toy for a dominatrix. "Mr. Pain and Danger Lad" are on Fox FX at 11 PM.

Movies:

Go crazy with board game fantasy and that hairy comic that talks really fast, when some poor children get sucked into a violent board game called Jumanji at 1 AM on TNT.

Embrace John Carpenter's wonder before they remake it into crap, with The Thing on the Sci Fi Channel at 7 PM.

Friday:

Batman: The Brave And The Bold -
Batman gets into the holiday spirit, bringing a bad Santa who's on a crime spree to justice. Batman is on Cartoon Network at 8 PM.

Clone Wars -
Finally, it's all Grievous all the time, or at least that's what I'm hoping this week's Clone Wars turns out to be, it's all about his Lair. To which I wonder: how does Grievous decorate his lair? Does he have a smoking room, or a pool? What about a balcony? This week on the Cartoon Network at 9 PM, we shall finally see.

"Lair Of Grievous" Behind The Scenes:

General Grievous Jam:

Stargate Atlantis -
Off with her head, or something close like it. This week Jewel Staite gets involved in a case of mistaken identity. So if Dr. Keller dies, does this mean I can have McKay? Because I'd be okay with that. Stargate Atlantis which has only THREE episodes left, will be on the Sci Fi Channel at 9 PM.

(editor's note: sorry I confused this weeks with last weeks, when clearly this last Friday's was "Infection" and this is "Identity.")

Stargate Promo:

Sanctuary -
This week the monster kids are tracking down a secret fight club where the people battle to the death. You know like Fight Club, only not cool in the slightest. The new Sanctuary is on 10 PM on the Sci Fi Channel.

Movies:

ABC family is premiering The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe. Check out James McAvoy as the little fawn, Mr. Tumnus, before he got all Wanted hot (I preferred the shirtless goat-scarf look, to be honest). The movie will air at 6 PM and 9:30 PM.

Tumnus!

Saturday:

Movies:
Get bouncy with Flubber at 9:40 AM on TBS.

Sunday:

Movies:

One of the best Disney scifi movies ever is The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, staring Kurt Russell. Please do enjoy this clip — it's on 12 PM on TCM.

Monday:

The John Larroquette gusts stars on Chuck this week, as a seasoned seduction artist who needs to teach Chuck how to get into the pants of one red hot Russian Sasha Banacheck (Melinda Clark). Adding Larroquette to this weeks "Chuck Vs The Seduction" is just one of many guests stars Chuck has planned for the season, but let's face it — does it get much better than a little Larry? Chuck is on 8 PM on NBC.

Larroquette Yells At Chuck:

"Don't Call Her Missy"

Sylar the sweet heart? Sure, why not? This week on NBC's Heroes, the Peters have to fight their cheerleading niece, who has gone evil (clearly marked by her new choice of hair color) and Sylar gets all cute and cuddly. The new episode "I am Become Death" is on at 9PM.

Clips Of Claire Bennet Sharing "Secrets" With Nathan Petrelli:

The Sarah Connor Chronicles gives Derek Reese another chance to be a bad ass and yell at all his recruits, teaching them a thing or two about guns and heart (of course you gotta have heart to fight the machines). SCC is on Fox at 8 PM.

Two episodes of sexy thigh-high-wearing Anime girls in Gurren Lagann on the Sci Fi Channel at 11 and 11:30 PM.

On Charlie Jade's "Bedtime Story," our futuristic private dick gets sentimental about how much time he's spent in Beta, and wonders how it has changed him now that he is back in Alpha. Jade airs on the Sci Fi Channel at 3 AM.

Tuesday:

There is a Tales From The Darkside marathon on the Sci Fi Channel from 6 AM until 4:30 PM.

No Fringe This Week.

Movies:

Follow sexy strapped Angelina Jolie to find the Cradle Of Life, in the second Lara Croft Tomb Raider on TBS at 10 AM.

Wednesday:

Last week Mike Tracer taught us how to be a man. This week, KITT and Mikey hit the beach with their stereotypical hot assistant in "Knight Of The Iguana." The new Knight Rider is on NBC at 8 PM.

Thursday:

Smallville's latest episode "Instinct" is gives us a shocking new scantily clad lady, Maxima, an alien princess. She's searching for her alien mate (a Kryptonian) but her out of control sexuality kills a lot of humans in the process. Smallville is on CW at 8 PM.

Watch Maxima Get Freaky With Some Poor Soul:

Movies:

Fight your way to the top with Arnold in The Running Man on TBS at 2:30 AM.

Ponder how it was that you could wipe away a man's memory and then bring it back in order to fight aliens and save the world one more time, on Men In Black 2 on TNT at 9:45 PM. Mostly notable for the giant toilet flushing scene.

Friday:

A new Ben 10: Alien Force brings us a new bad boy. There's a new villain in town, and his name is Darkstar. The episode "Darkstar Rising" is at 9:30 PM on Cartoon Network.

New Clone Wars, "Shadow of Malevolence" follows Anakin's brainy plan to attack General Grievous' ship. That's at 9 PM on the Cartoon Network.

Shanks is back for the second half of our big two-parter on the new Stargate Atlantis episode "The Lost Tribe," on the Sci Fi Channel at 9 PM.

A new Sanctuary episode dabbles with witches in the real world on the Sci Fi Channel at 10 PM.

Movies:

Wanna see Charlize Theron clad in leather and kicking ass in a crazy future filled with robot spiders and needles? (Who doesn't?) Aeon Flux is on TNT at 2 AM.

Saturday:

Miss your Chuck? Don't worry — NBC repeats this week's new episode at 9 PM.

The city's canal system gets breached by an anomaly, and now species from the future can walk in and out as they please. Time to call the Primeval gang to fix the monster mess over at BBC America at 9 PM.

Movies:

Watch Ryan Reynolds piss off the world's best day walker Blade in Blade: Trinity on TNT at 5:30 PM (plus the gratuitous Jessica Biel muscles make it worth DVRing for sure).

Sunday:

This week the shit really hits the fan over at True Blood. "Cold Ground" makes everybody uneasy, as the murders start to stack up and the families that once loved each other begin to rip each other apart under suspicion. True Blood is on HBO at 9 PM.

Monday:

There's a mini Lost marathon over at the Sci Fi Channel starting from 7 PM until 11 PM in including crazy run-ins with Jack's Dad in "White Rabbit."

Missing your weekly dose of that perky, adorable hero? No, not the cheerleader — Hiro Nakamura. In this week's season premiere of Heroes discover the identity of Nathan's shooter on NBC at 9PM. But before the two-hour premiere is an hour long Heroes event including interviews, clips and a countdown to the premiere, and that starts at 8PM.

In this week's The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Michelle Dixon (Penny from Lost) is a damsel in distress and her hubby, Dean Winters, needs the Connor clan's help in saving her. The new episode airs on Fox at 8 PM. Check out a new clip from this weeks episode below:

Two episodes of sexy thigh-high-wearing Anime girls in Gurren Lagann on the Sci Fi Channel at 11 and 11:30 PM.

On Charlie Jade "The Shortening Of The Way," our futuristic private eye's visions are starting to get worse and he's got a genetically constructed super-hunter on his tail. Jade airs on the Sci Fi Channel at 3 AM.

Movies:

Solve bizarre crimes with big red and his pack of odd crime fighters including a fish man and a fire starter in the original Hellboy which airs on FX at 8 PM.

Tuesday:

A group of bus passengers all wind up dead this week on the Fringe, and one freaky boy has a psychic connection to the whole thing. Now it's up to the Fringe gang to open up his brain and find the connection. Let's hope Walter, the best new scifi character on prime time television, can figure it all out with the help of his cow. Catch the next episode on Fox at 9 PM. Here's a promo for this weeks episode.

Eureka Sheriff Carter gets to the bottom of the "mysterious dead men" that appeared in last week's episode. Hint: it involves some sort of doomsday device, which is pretty par for the little genius city. Check out "From Fear To Eternity" on the Sci Fi Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:

Jessica Alba and the rest of her oddly accesorized celebrity superhero team fight the evil Dr. Doom in Fantastic Four on FX at 7:30 PM.

Wednesday:

Crack cyber crimes with the Level 9 in an all day Sci Fi Channel marathon from 8 AM until 3 PM.

KITT is back and this time he's a transforming Ford truck/GT thing. Visit the Knight Rider cave and the secret government operation where Mike Tracer gets his orders to steal "files" and "codes" from "bad guys" with the help of his AI car voiced by Val Kilmer. Knight Rider premieres on NBC at 8 PM, but you can read our review of the episode here.

Movies:

Get chased by wolves and frost in the end-of-the-world disaster flick The Day After Tomorrow on FX at 7:30 PM.

Thursday:

This week on Smallville, Clark starts his new job at the Daily Planet. Finally let's turn up the notch on the Lois-and-Clark sexual tension please — late night edit sessions are a must. Smallville airs on CW at 8 PM. Here's a clip from the new episode where we get to meet Doomsday who looks like he's got a crush on Chloe (what will Jimmy say?)

Smallville Trailer:

Movies:

High School can be hell, especially when your the kid of the most infamous superhero in the world. Check out how the super-kids live in Sky High on the Disney Channel at 8 PM.

Friday:

Cozy up with General Jack O'Neill in a Stargate SG-1 marathon at the Sci Fi Channel starting at 8 AM and ending at 4 PM.

Dr. Jackson is looking for an ancient lab with the help from the Stargate Atlantis crew. I'm so excited to see Jackson and McKay work their technobabble banter back and forth in this episode. "First Contact" is on the Sci Fi Channel at 10 PM.

Saturday:

A giant group of man-eating worms take over a skyscraper and now it's up to Cutter and Jenny Lewis (who seems quite similar to Claudia Brown) to fight, fight, fight, on Primeval on BBC America at 8 PM.

Movies:

Wanna forget ever knowing your miserable ex-boyfriend/girlfriend? Now you can with the help of mind wiping technology Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet try to blot out the bad parts of their past relationship (which is all of it) in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on E! at 8 PM.

Sunday:

We finally get to see the inside of the vampire bar Fangoria when Bill takes Sookie to snoop around for clues about the many dead girls that are popping up all over her town. True Blood is on HBO at 9 PM.

Movies:

Tons o' Dragony goodness over at the Sci Fi Channel today including a screening of the apocalyptic future movie Reign Of Fire at 9 PM.

We've got Terminator shirts with silvery writing on the front, military style hats, light-up red glowy bracelets, and Terminator eye window-clings, and Terminator flashlights that throw cool LED logos of the show into dark areas.

Simply submit your caption in the comments below, and you're officially entered. Be as long or as brief as you want, but above all try to be funny. Heck, we'd even take a good Firefly or Buffy joke. Just go nuts, folks. The contest will be open until roughly 10:30pm Pacific Time, right after tonight's finale ends on the West Coast. We'll pick a winner at that time and announce it tomorrow. The contest is open to everyone, unless you're living on the moon, and we'll pick up the shipping charges. However, we are not responsible if actual robots from the future start chasing you.

The window clings are massive and aren't pictured in the top photo, but they'll be included. You'll be the envy of all your friends, or you can just open your own Terminator merchandise store. The future is not yet written.

This definitely felt like another water-treading episode of Sarah Connor, but at least this time around all the characters felt true, and everybody got a nice bit of character development. Sarah and her pet Terminator Cameron are still searching for the dumb chess-playing computer that may possibly become Skynet, and they have to dispose of the last piece of the Terminator that hunted Brian Austin Green a few weeks ago. And Agent Ellison (now with 1000 times more Bible-thumping, which comes from actor Richard T. Jones' real-life Christianity) runs into Sarah's ex-shrink, now a nutcase himself.

I really liked the stuff about Sarah freaking out in the mental institution, and signing away her right to be John's mom. It makes the present-day wound-up-tight Sarah seem more impressive by comparison, and yet you know she's still freaking out somewhere deep down inside. (But maybe with better drugs now.) When John sees the tape of her relinquishing parenthood, Thomas Dekker's acting actually worked for me this time around. And then when he and Sarah re-bond, I could sort of believe they were related and cared for each other, which was a major weakness in earlier episodes.

Meanwhile, Brian Austin Green continues to be a bad houseguest. He messes up Sarah Connor's bedroom. He fucks around with her guns. He's a paranoid maniac who doesn't trust Sarah's ex-boyfriend or her robot pet. He won't eat his pancakes at the breakfast table like a civilized adult. Was he raised in a barn or something?

I was dreading the Terminator-learns-ballet stuff in advance. It was mercifully brief, but pretty much just as awful as I'd feared. We're obviously supposed to think Cameron (Summer Glau) is growing a "soul" because we see her randomly practicing ballet at the end of the episode. And Sarah's voice-over talks about how if the machines learn to appreciate art and beauty the way we do, they can replace us and become us instead of just wiping us out. It all points to a major weakness in this show, which is that it wants to be Battlestar Galactica. It wants Summer Glau to be like a Cylon, with emotions and a conflicted soul, instead of just a machine with a single purpose. Or at least, it wants to toy with the idea that Summer Glau has a soul.

All in all, this episode was way better than I was expecting, and much better than the last couple of episodes. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for next week's final two episodes, airing back to back. Sadly, the show's ratings continue to drop, and Hollywood insiders are saying a second season still isn't a sure thing.