You might have noticed this trope in the recent Day The Earth Stood Still meh-fest, when Keanu/Klaatu goes to the McDonald's to hang out with a fellow alien, who's been hiding out here for decades trying to decide whether we suck or blow. And doggone it, the old guy has totally lost his alien perspective. He loves McDonald's, for one thing. For another, he's seen enough movies to pick up that thing where he speaks a foreign language, until he's saying something really important — and then he switches to English.

Okay, sure, he still recommends that Klaatu sterilize the Earth. But he also encourages Klaatu to try those crispy apple pies first.

But he's not the worst sell-out. The worst is the Doctor from Doctor Who, who's totally gone human the first time we see him, in 1963's "An Unearthly Child." He's ditched his Gallifreyan tunic, with the attractive posture collar, for some pastiche of an English gentleman outfit. (I totally blame the lack of the collar for William Hartnell's bad posture.) But the worst comes in the early 1970s, when the Doctor spends a few years stuck on Earth and starts actually driving a car and eating at Wimpy's Burgers. (In the novelization of "Invasion Of The Dinosaurs." I think.) Did you ever eat a Wimpy Burger? They're a great example of truth in advertising.

Commenter Hamslicer points out that I somehow missed the aliens in Third Rock From The Sun, who get so assimilated they not only eat our junk food, they also get obsessed with our human innovations, like shampoo and conditioner in the same bottle.

Rule #1: You can always tell when an alien has gone human. They start eating our crappy fast food.

Sometimes they even forget their true nature, like Beth in that one Torchwood episode. She's an alien sent here to gather intelligence for an invasion, but she believes she's human — despite the huge spikes and alien tech that pop out of her arm like a really bad rash.

That's also sort of the premise of The Stranded, a Virgin Comics title that's (supposedly) being developed as a Sci Fi Channel series. Five amazingly stylish people realize that their entire childhoods are a lie, because they're Sleepers, aliens who were stranded here on Earth, with secret superpowers and stuff. (I think the Sci Fi version may be dead, which is too bad, because both the comic and the TV pilot were written by the great Mike Carey.)

Rule #2: Aliens who forget they're aliens always have amazing superpowers, and pretty great hair.

And then there are the aliens who remember they're aliens, and even keep sight of their reason for being here... but they just get obsessed with human trivia. Like Bridwell, from Astro City #5. He's been sent to Earth to decide whether his matriarchal insect-people race, the Enelsians, should invade. And he gets caught up in our trivial dramas, and obsessed with our petty vices, especially boastfulness. It's unfortunate he happens to live in the same building as the braggart superhero Crackerjack. But even Crackerjack's habit of taking too much credit for his exploits isn't enough to make Bridwell turn against humanity — it's a group of gossipy old ladies boasting that they always knew who Crackerjack was, that finally makes Bridwell decide to wipe us out. Humans!

Rule #3: Aliens who spend too much time here always get a little too close to our bad side.

Let's face it, the best kind of aliens living secretly on Earth are the ones who take over, without any of this "going soft" business. Like the aliens in They Live, who finally use our mass media and pop culture for the proper purpose — controlling us and turning us into brainwashed slaves. (But that means they have to work in the television industry, which is a kind of punishment.) Ditto for those aliens in the story "Four Eyes" in the anthology The Nightmare Room.

Of course, even when sneaky aliens manage to take over the Earth without losing their edge or getting distracted by all our shiny nice human culture, they still end up taking on our foibles and obsessions — like the alien parasite/symbiote creatures in Stephenie Meyer's The Host. (By then, of course, they're not secret any more.)

Rule #4: You can't even rule humans in secret without becoming sorta human.

The manga and anime of Osamu Tezuka routinely feature "reformed alien spies" as supporting characters, according to this fansite.

The animated version of Ambassador Magma, features a similar theme, as Murakami Tomoko, is killed and replaced by an alien. Tomoko was the mother of Murakami Mamoru, the main human character of the series, and the alien eventually became so absorbed in the role, that she believed that she was Murakami Tomoko, so much so, that she defended her ‘family’ against attacks by her own kind, losing her life in the process.

The Irresponsible Captain Tylor features an android spy named Harumi. However, she is much more than a mere spy, for she is the alien’s best intelligence analyst, and even a saboteur. Despite her best attempts, her attempts at sabotage always fail in humorous encounters with Captain Tylor’s dumb luck. Though she is an android and should be devoid of emotions, she eventually succumbs to the title character’s kindness and charm, and decides to switch sides.

Rule #5: Aliens! Don't make your spies too cute. It'll just backfire when they decide they enjoy our human fussing, and our fancy Earth ribbons.

Additional reporting by Katharine Duckett.

This year's FCBD - set, as usual, the day after the summer's big comic-related movie opens - has 41 different freebies for you to read, as well as two additional miniature figures to collect (If you really, really want that Iron Man Heroclix figure, get yourself to your local comic store early Saturday morning, people) and all manner of creator signings galore (Go here for a complete list of who is signing where). If nothing else, it's a good chance to pick and choose some new things to read and get hooked on; here's our pick of what you should be spending your free time and nothing else on.

While DC Comics and Marvel Comics are both putting two books out each for the event, Marvel distinguishes themselves by both of their books being brand new material: X-Men: FCBD 2008 Edition offers Mike Carey and Greg Land giving you the start of "the future of mutantkind", while the more kid-friendly Marvel Adventures features movie franchises Spider-Man, the Hulk and Iron Man teaming up to fight crime and reduced box office potential. DC's also splitting their books between "regular" and kid books, offering reprints of the very, very good first issue of All-Star Superman and the not-as-good-but-still-worthwhile kid book Tiny Titans, which sees Puffy Ami-Yumi's favorite underage superteam as even younger kids in school. Don't ask, just pick it up.

Other all-new material includes Dark Horse's Hellboy/BPRD issue, with new stories by creator Mike Mignola and friends, Project Superpowers resurrecting public domain superheroes courtesy of Kingdom Come's Alex Ross, Del Rey's Dabel Bros preview book of novel adaptations (including previews of work by Dean Koontz, Jim Butcher and George RR Martin's Wild Cards series) and Red5 Comics' fun retro throwback SF series Atomic Robo.

Most worthy of the reprinted material are the EC Comics Sampler - reprinting several stories from the publisher that made Frederic Wertham go apeshit and bring congressional hearings into the comic book industry in the 50s - and Oni Press' Maintenance #1, which follows the unlucky janitorial crew of an evil scientist think tank. There's also classic Disney duck action in Gyro Gearloose and a couple of international anthologies worth looking into with Drawn and Quarterly's Gegika: A Drawn+Quarterly Manga Sampler and Fantagraphics' IGNATZ: International Graphic Novels At Their Zenith.

There are many more books available tomorrow - go here for a full list, including some previews - but why not just find the store closest to you and pick up whatever looks most interesting to you, even if it is Sci-Fi/Virgin's The Stranded? It's not like it's going to cost you anything, after all...

Superbia is a comic about Woodshire Village, a suburban "residential community" for superheroes, with "easy commutes to all major crime scenes. And when the heroes are away, the spouses will play." (Yes, that's an actual quote.) But the stay-at-home spouses won't just be fooling around — they'll also be solving suburban crimes and ensuring the safety of their little enclave. The comic's written by Lisa Klink (Star Trek: Voyager) and Jordan Gorfinkel (formerly with DC Comics). The first Sci Fi/Virgin comic-book collaboration, The Stranded, is already being developed as a TV series, so Superbia may not be far behind. [VFXWorld]

Someone has already reviewed the first issue of The Stranded comic, written by Mike "My Faith In Frankie" Carey, which should give some clues to the plot of the TV show. A mysterious man named Janus is hunting down Sleepers, who are aliens living among us, and a beautiful woman named Tamree is protecting the Sleepers from him. She seeks the aid of Professor Zantee, part of whose brain has been transplanted into a rat. Really. And she wants to contact the other "anchors," or protectors of the Sleepers, to warn them. But Zantee the rat refuses, because he doesn't want to put the other anchors into danger.

And here are the other new shows Sci Fi has on the sked: True Believer, developed with Rosario Dawson, is about a nerd who hires a rundown superhero to teach him to fight crime. And Deputized is a comedy-drama about an "everyman" who gets superpowers and joins an intergalactic police force. In other words, lots of superhero riffs, just in time for everyone being sick of Heroes. (There's also Alice, a riff on Alice In Wonderland by the people who brought you Tin Man.) [Variety]

The Stranded, based on a forthcoming Virgin Comics graphic novel, is about a group of people who discover they're actually superpowered aliens. Sci Fi and Virgin are developing the project together, and and it'll also spawn a video game. (But there's no word on who'll write, produce, or star in this show.)

And that's just the beginning. New Sci Fi president David Howe is telling advertisers it's not enough to be the fifth-biggest cable channel anymore; in fact, television itself is too small. Speaking to TV Week, Howe explained:

What we're trying to do is not migrate away from the cable screen, but actually build a business which enables us to own the entire sci-fi/fantasy category... What that means from a development perspective is we need to no longer develop TV shows, we need to develop [intellectual property] that can enable us to tell those same stories across various platforms.

We know for a fact that the audience that watches Sci Fi the TV channel is also the same audience that's playing video games, that is downloading content on their iPhones, that is out there buying licensed products... our audience is committed to us as a brand, committed to our content, and therefore has an openness to advertisers and an ability to recall advertisers' brands within the ad break in a way that sets us apart from other networks.