@brinderwalt: when she beats the entire Dalek race - several times, destroys a Cyberfleet with nothing but her brains, comes back from the dead 10 times and can introduce france to the banana daiquiri, then she can talk to me.
@berserkiest: Yeah, I was thinking that Batman is just the kind of thug that the Doctor loves to beat up on and The Doctor is just the kind of quirky overconfident guy that Batman handles with ease.
I'm new and am not a giant River fan. Hell she couldn't even convince me to watch the Sarah Conner crap, but she's very good in either a knuckle brawl or gun fight. That said, she was never going to make it against anyone who's going to spend the battle thinking. Not only does she lose against the Dr., she'd lose against Batman also. Both for the same reason. If she manages to knock them back on a pure physical level, they'll stop, think, and win. Kirk was good with a plan, but switching streams was not his strong point, and that's what you need to beat her.
I also gave Anthony Fremont the win. Very few have any kind of chance against him. The Doc's one, and Bats and Kirk might find their way back, but they would've lost the first fight.
A Dalek army was frightened of the Doctor, who had no weapons and no plan to beat them. Later, another Dalek Army is non plussed by 5 *million* cybermen, but the mention of the Doctor being around causes them to be *afraid*. The Daleks aren't afraid of anything else in the multiverse but the Doctor.
River Tam can't match that. Let her *try* to take the Doctor. Heck, I'll drop you back to the Third Doctor. Venusian Karate versus River Tam. Sorry, River. You lose.
And to the list of adversaries the Doctor has beaten, you can add Egyptian Gods (who could crush River like a bug), Celestial beings, Sontarans, Rutans...
@NonaNiger: Nah, IMO this is supposed to be an entertaining discussion about who sci-fi's biggest bad ass is. It's like a new Kirk v. Picard debate or a nerdy stoner discussion. When people come in from other sites and load the vote just because they want to bang the actress, it ruins the fun.
@doodlehead: Seriously. Also, if you compare the total votes from Six v. Six and any of the River smackdowns, it's obvious that this vote isn't coming from regular io9 readers. Poll over.
@vulcanized: It's an open internet poll. If you have an internet connection you can vote. If the editors had wanted an io9-regular only voter base they could have made it closed poll - but they didn't.
@brinderwalt: Well, I was going to say something clever, but I've been defeated! You sure proved me wrong! Take this victory back to Whedonesque and send out the word that OMG RIVER IS TEH BEST EVAH!!!!1!! You win the internet forever. Congratulations.
@brinderwalt:
I agree that it was a poorly designed poll. But that don't make it right. You cannot say with a straight face that those were all individual votes. Well, maybe *you* can, but you'd be wrong.
Can we just cut to the chase and put River up against God (the angry, vengeful Old Testament version)? You know, the Guy who's sort of like Q, only He can create entire planets in 6 days and has no qualms about killing anyone, even cute babies.
Actually, one of the apocryphal gospels has a portrayal of Jesus as a child very much like Anthony Fremont, striking another kid dead for bumping into him.
Okay, I'm eager enough to post, despite likely being lost to the sea of outrage.
I'll even call myself a Whedonite, as I like a lot of Whedon's stuff. Though I don't frequent Whedonesque.
And yet I can clearly see that the Doctor would win, simply because he's a genius Time lord, and River Tam is merely a genius human. Sure she'd law down the pain in close combat, but the Doctor has to let her get there first.
I don't watch Venture, but a good youtube video later and I know all I need to know about Brock Samson; that he'd crush River Tam.
Though when it comes to some Ohio born country kid Anthony Fremont with god like mental powers I had to let River win. Sure the kid could blink and turn her into a pile of gosa, but River has been shown before to be extremely charismatic to dangerous characters. Fremont would immediately see a 'good' girl and it'd be too late for the kid. That is unless these brawls are announced to both parties prior, and not just 'what if they met and had a fight' scenarios, then Fremont would blink her out of existence as soon as he got he challenge, and then he'd go back and beat all previous challengers too. Creepy kid.
Oh and River should be disqualified for...um having to many fanbois. You know n your heart that it's a valid reason io9.
River!!!Really..im supprised she got past Kirk let alone Buffy. How bad ass can pre-programed bad-assery be. Shes a pussy all the way through Serenty up until shes pre-coded to attack the reavers. Thats about as bad ass as a pre-programed scud missile. Shes got no intention of being bad until her brother triggers her. Yawn. Yeah shes fit, yeah she kicks ass on request but thats it. Bad assness has all sorts of traits....shes very 1 dimensional and that just doesnt cut it with me....Kirks sneaky, wity and downright angry when he wants to be. Buffy feels, kills, maims and sacrafices everything when she has to. River just attacks on demand..its like having a trained Rottweiler. Not much going at all. And what happens if shes captured as just plain old River...shes not that bad ass when shes sat there waiting for the trigger command!! Kirk would shag his way out of the situation, Buffy would fight on her own terms...River would cry like a little girl and wait for dear old brother to help out. That said...River will win because Serenity fans are hitting this poll hard!! Oh dear...
I think the most surprising thing here is that Whedonites were wililng to sacrifice the Slayer for her. Or else there are some *really* rabid Firefly fans.
@RobinSure: It's NOT the io9 commenters' work. If you read the comments, you'll see most (all?) commenters with stars are outraged (or at least shaking their heads) at this travesty. It's voters new to the site, apparently come from Whedonesque, that hi-jack the votes. At least as far as can tell. Don't give up on us just because of this!
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hell he's in a class of his own.
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killing machines are 10 a penny.
thinking Hero's are rare.
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Bless you.
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Yeah, yeah, sure sure. That's why DwightKnight keeps repeating "riverwouldwinriverwouldwinrive...."
River may be a badass, but her fans are a bunch of whiners, apparently.
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Bats would probably just glower at the Doctor, who would try to fill in the awkward silences.
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Wait...what?
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I also gave Anthony Fremont the win. Very few have any kind of chance against him. The Doc's one, and Bats and Kirk might find their way back, but they would've lost the first fight.
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River Tam can't match that. Let her *try* to take the Doctor. Heck, I'll drop you back to the Third Doctor. Venusian Karate versus River Tam. Sorry, River. You lose.
And to the list of adversaries the Doctor has beaten, you can add Egyptian Gods (who could crush River like a bug), Celestial beings, Sontarans, Rutans...
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Because the outcome of these polls mean everyone who lost to River is going to be executed in the public square.
Dr. Who fans are just as rabid and retarded as Serenity fans. Get over yourselves.
P.S. River wins because she had an axe. AN AXE!!!! Check and mate people.
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I assume you're kidding about the axe.
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I agree that it was a poorly designed poll. But that don't make it right. You cannot say with a straight face that those were all individual votes. Well, maybe *you* can, but you'd be wrong.
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By your logic (that the poll is always right) she actually lost to Cameron.
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Actually, one of the apocryphal gospels has a portrayal of Jesus as a child very much like Anthony Fremont, striking another kid dead for bumping into him.
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I'll even call myself a Whedonite, as I like a lot of Whedon's stuff. Though I don't frequent Whedonesque.
And yet I can clearly see that the Doctor would win, simply because he's a genius Time lord, and River Tam is merely a genius human. Sure she'd law down the pain in close combat, but the Doctor has to let her get there first.
I don't watch Venture, but a good youtube video later and I know all I need to know about Brock Samson; that he'd crush River Tam.
Though when it comes to some Ohio born country kid Anthony Fremont with god like mental powers I had to let River win. Sure the kid could blink and turn her into a pile of gosa, but River has been shown before to be extremely charismatic to dangerous characters. Fremont would immediately see a 'good' girl and it'd be too late for the kid. That is unless these brawls are announced to both parties prior, and not just 'what if they met and had a fight' scenarios, then Fremont would blink her out of existence as soon as he got he challenge, and then he'd go back and beat all previous challengers too. Creepy kid.
Oh and River should be disqualified for...um having to many fanbois. You know n your heart that it's a valid reason io9.
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I think the most surprising thing here is that Whedonites were wililng to sacrifice the Slayer for her. Or else there are some *really* rabid Firefly fans.
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