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At Last Microsoft Has Upgraded Clippie To Personal Lady Slave

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corpore-metal
03/03/09

In reply to At Last Microsoft Has Upgraded Clippie To Personal Lady Slave
I'd been over to the Microsoft research building a few times, years ago when I was a temp. I've never understood why they keep obsessing over little AI assistants. Bob failed. Clippy failed. That stupid search dog failed.

You know what they called Clippy in the Office Group back when Clippy was still defaulted to load in Office?

TFC.

The Fuckin' Character (Critter.).

If many of the people who designed Office back in the days didn't take it seriously, at least off the record, why do you think they take it seriously now?
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Grey_Area
03/03/09

@corpore-metal: Honestly, if they cant take the opinions of those who work there seriously how can they say that, "What we're after is common sense about etiquette and what people want." GwAaHhh?! Since when?

Ugh, I have all the social skills of a badger, and I'm still a leg up on these mooks.
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Jrsy Devil's Advocate®
03/02/09

In reply to At Last Microsoft Has Upgraded Clippie To Personal Lady Slave
I like how they managed to capture her 'O' face...
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Annalee Newitz
03/02/09

@Jrsy Devil's Food Cake®: Yeah, and they captured her users' oaf faces. It's a priceless picture.
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cletar
03/02/09

In reply to At Last Microsoft Has Upgraded Clippie To Personal Lady Slave
Um, how does it know your attire? Does that mean Microsoft is watching you constantly?
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Josh Wimmer
03/02/09

@cletar: No. It means Microsoft is admitting that it watches you constantly.
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Annalee Newitz
03/02/09

@Moff: But only via a nice lady with an O-mouth who can tell you what you're wearing. So it's all OK.
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twophrasebark
03/02/09

In reply to At Last Microsoft Has Upgraded Clippie To Personal Lady Slave
Seriously, this needs a caption contest. Bad.

I don't know why they didn't go with the full body version.
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Annalee Newitz
03/02/09

@twophrasebark: Heh heh. Dude, check out what happens when you tell Laura, "Blow me."
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Trai_Dep
03/02/09

In reply to At Last Microsoft Has Upgraded Clippie To Personal Lady Slave
So does this mean that for a couple days out of the month, your PC will be recalcitrant, moody and largely dysfunctional - then verbally (if you're lucky) attack you if you mention it?
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goldfarb
03/02/09

@Trai_Dep: Ka-Pow!

hee hee hee...
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ManchuCandidate
03/02/09

In reply to At Last Microsoft Has Upgraded Clippie To Personal Lady Slave
Mark my words, when "Laura" takes over your machine and starts acting like your mother you will miss Clippie (wasn't he voiced by "the suave & dulcet toned" Gilbert Gottfried?)

"Why do you watch all the pr0n? You'll go blind!"

"Haven't you played enough video games?"

"Call your mother, she misses you."
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NerD: Blattella
03/02/09

@ManchuCandidate: agreed, when my "Laura" starts asking the difference in nuance between regular porn and tentacle porn, I'll have to give up the internet entirely.
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HeartBurnKid: Agent of R.O.A.C.H.
03/02/09

In reply to At Last Microsoft Has Upgraded Clippie To Personal Lady Slave
Why? Why do they keep doing this? You'd think they'd have figured out this idea is retarded after Microsoft Bob flopped, but nooooooooooooooo. They have to keep pushing this stupid "digital assistant" crap on us. And this time, they've managed to merge it with the Uncanny Valley!
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hitmouse
03/02/09

@HeartBurnKid, creepy morbid freak: Bob flopped because uber-geeks ( about 4 standard deviations away from its target audience) panned it. The people who wanted and needed a comfortable interface like that really really loved it. I've worked with such people, who literally cannot deal with WIMP interfaces and freeze up in front of a simple logon screen.

Personally I think it kind of sickening that in SF communities which should have some ability to imagine the way technology interacts with the populace, the natural instinct is instead to beat to death any attempt to humanise it.
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Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
03/02/09

@hitmouse: I know a lot of people who don't know anything about computers, spend no time with uber-geeks or internet nerds, and need help with simple computer tasks.

They all hated Bob. Little old ladies would CURSE about how annoying and useless he was. They complained how he never actually told them to do what they needed at the time, and he'd pop up yammering about things they didn't want to do.

YMMV, but to me, Bob conjures up white haired ladies complaining about "that stupid damn BOB thing!"
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tetracycloide
03/03/09

@hitmouse: i'm willing to state flatly and in no uncertain terms that microsoft has never done anything to advance humanization of technology. bob is a humanization of a bandaid over the UI in microsoft office. if technology is to be humanized the UI itself should be made more accessable, not covered up with another layer of interface between the user and the actual machine. a humanized UI would be designed with an eye towards getting the user to the functions they want without getting in the way and would have no need for a 'personal assistant.'
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gorehound
03/02/09

In reply to At Last Microsoft Has Upgraded Clippie To Personal Lady Slave
The Lauras will take over the world.................

beware the revolution
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B
03/02/09

@gorehound: It looks like you're starting a robot revolution. Would you like some help with that?
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Josh Wimmer
03/02/09

@B: Awesome.
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