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San Francisco, 3:20 PM
Thu Dec 3
24 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed

    How Many Universes Exist in the Multiverse? Physicists May Have a Number

    Is The Large Hadron Collider Being Sabotaged from the Future?

    Is Dark Energy the New Aether?
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/07/09

    In reply to Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed
    I have found the culprit! It all makes sense now...

    [www.youtube.com] #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of Trai_Dep Trai_Dep
    11/07/09

    In reply to Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed
    Oh dear gods... I hope a tangent universe wasn't created when that bread crumb fell into the machinery. Because convincing the pigeon who was supposed to be sleeping there to return within the next 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds is going to be quite the challenge. #science
     Reply
    Trai_Dep was starred Trai_Dep was unstarred
    Image of outlawtorn103 outlawtorn103
    11/06/09

    In reply to Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed
    As far as I see, there is no evidence of a bird, only bread. Has no one thought that this is the bread itself doing this?

    Case and point: The LHC is the greatest thing since sliced bread. This was bread bitch-slapping the machine to make sure we all know who's still on top.
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana approved this comment outlawtorn103 was starred outlawtorn103 was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/06/09

    @outlawtorn103: Haha, as many sci-fi movies have showed us over the years, it is often the older, simpler technology that wins out in the end. Especially with avian deployment systems dropping the payload. #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of I_Like_TDs I_Like_TDs
    11/06/09

    In reply to Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed
    You know I'm not an expert in sub atomic particles. I have run several nuclear reactors though so I think I'm qualified to say: Maybe cover up the machinery to protect from bird shit, dropped bread and inclement weather?

    Did they run out of funding or common sense first? #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana promoted this comment I_Like_TDs was starred I_Like_TDs was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/06/09

    @I_Like_TDs: Turns out the bread the bird dropped actually smashed through the roof. What they're not telling us is that it was dark matter bread. #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of TickMan TickMan
    11/06/09

    In reply to Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed
    Do you ever think the LHC smashes atoms so fast they may eventually span into their own universe and destroy our own and then completely start the cycle over turning out to be our universe, but with slight variations each time. So technically we create and destroy ourselves. #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana promoted this comment TickMan was starred TickMan was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/06/09

    @TickMan: Heh, you're your own grandfather^100 #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of MarlboroTestMonkey7 MarlboroTestMonkey7
    11/06/09

    In reply to Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed
    Maybe the actual use of the LHC is to force buttered side up events. #science
     Reply
    Janglesatwest promoted this comment MarlboroTestMonkey7 was starred MarlboroTestMonkey7 was unstarred
    Image of Post-Nuked Post-Nuked
    11/05/09

    In reply to Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed
    So, one of the world's most advanced pieces of scientific equipment was almost destroyed by a bird and a baguette? They keep the toilet paper under lock and key where I work, but apparently, you can just walk up to the LHC and shove bread in it. #science
     Reply
    Post-Nuked was starred Post-Nuked was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/06/09

    @Post-Nuked: The future is trying to prevent you from using up all of the TP, which causes another man complete frustration, thus starting a chain of events which lead to him becoming the Antichrist. #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of Post-Nuked Post-Nuked
    11/08/09

    @schrodingers-katana:
    So, if I (hypothetically of course) broke in the TP room and snagged some, would I then be insuring the Antichrist's reign? #science
     Reply
    Post-Nuked was starred Post-Nuked was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/08/09

    @Post-Nuked: Well, either that or the advent of personal jet-packs, the future is quite fuzzy on that point. Steal the TP at your own risk, it's 50/50 odds. #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of Post-Nuked Post-Nuked
    11/08/09

    @schrodingers-katana:
    At the end of the day, I'm fine with either outcome. #science
     Reply
    Post-Nuked was starred Post-Nuked was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/09/09

    @Post-Nuked: Then go get you some toilet paper! I shall help fight off the Antichrist using my personal jetpack. #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of Jay042 Jay042
    11/05/09

    In reply to Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed
    Is the LHC an atom smasher, or an infinite improbability device? #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana promoted this comment Jay042 was starred Jay042 was unstarred
    Image of Palmgren Palmgren
    11/05/09

    In reply to Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed
    Are they sure it was a piece of bread? Maybe a migrating swallow lost grip of the husk and dropped it's coconut? Sounds just as likely.
    "Fell into the outdoor machinery". Really? These boffins didn't feel the need to cover this highly sensitive "outdoor machinery"? #science
     Reply
    Palmgren was starred Palmgren was unstarred
    Image of TickMan TickMan
    11/06/09

    @Palmgren: It depends. Was it an African swallow? #science
     Reply
    TickMan was starred TickMan was unstarred
    Image of Counterglow Counterglow
    11/06/09

    @TickMan: Given the location, more likely a European swallow. #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana promoted this comment Counterglow was starred Counterglow was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/06/09

    @Counterglow: There's no way a European swallow could carry a coconut. We're talking about a 2-ounce bird carrying a 20-ounce coconut. #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of twDarkflame twDarkflame
    11/05/09

    In reply to Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed
    Maybe its like quantum-suicide?
    We are being split of into less and less likely universe's. #science
     Reply
    twDarkflame was starred twDarkflame was unstarred
    Image of gusnyc.com gusnyc.com
    11/05/09

    In reply to Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed
    Flash Forward. #science
     Reply
    gusnyc.com was starred gusnyc.com was unstarred
    Image of Tenshi21 Tenshi21
    11/05/09

    In reply to Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed
    Today the Avian Consortium celebrated the bravery of Lucas Skychirper and his destruction of the Hominid's superweapon.

    His friend, Lonely Hand, had this to say: "We are all certain that Lucas' mastery of the Power will be a great boon to our continued struggle against the Hominid Hegemony. If he had missed that open port, we could be looking at a catastophe right now."

    Officials are warning, however, that the celebrations seen across the world today may be premature, as there have been indications that the Hegemony may already be working to rebuild their weapon. #science
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. promoted this comment Tenshi21 was starred Tenshi21 was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/06/09

    @Tenshi21: Fuck yeah. #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of mighty_squid mighty_squid
    11/05/09

    In reply to Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed
    And we are trusting these people to not blow us all up? They can't handle bread what are they going to do about black holes? #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana promoted this comment mighty_squid was starred mighty_squid was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/06/09

    @mighty_squid: You'll have to find out on next week's episode "Bird vs. Black Hole". #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of twophrasebark twophrasebark
    11/05/09

    In reply to Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed
    MESSAGE FROM FUTURE

    Yes, we have been trying to keep you
    from starting up the LHC. It's not
    what happens back then that's the
    problem. It's what happens in the year
    2733. Every time you guys try to turn
    on that thing all our garage doors start
    going up and down. Please stop!! And
    sorry about the baguette. #science
     Reply
    twophrasebark was starred twophrasebark was unstarred
    Image of spocko spocko
    11/05/09

    @twophrasebark: Have you tried reversing the polarity?
    P.S. To prove you are really from the future what year does the Cubs win the World Series? #science
     Reply
    twophrasebark promoted this comment spocko was starred spocko was unstarred
    Image of twophrasebark twophrasebark
    11/05/09

    @spocko:

    They were just about to win in 2012 and then the world ended. It was pretty crazy. Bottom of the ninth, Tyler Colvin is running for home base, the fans are going crazy and then a giant meteorite hits the stadium and knocks the Earth off its orbit.

    Didn't I mention the giant meteorite killing everyone in 2012? #science
     Reply
    twophrasebark was starred twophrasebark was unstarred
    Image of spocko spocko
    11/05/09

    @twophrasebark: But you have to admit it was a great ending. If only so many people hadn't used it as a end of the world mantra the Universe woulda let them win. But NOOOOO everyone was all, "The world will end before the Cubs win." not understanding that the Universe LISTENS to that stuff.

    Although, the "earth gets hit by a meteorite" timeline DID boffo box office in my timeline some felt it was too Deus ex machine. Personally I prefer it to the grey goo timeline which was kinda boring. "Ooo watch everything melt from the nano machines!" Snooze. #science
     Reply
    spocko was starred spocko was unstarred
    Image of twophrasebark twophrasebark
    11/05/09

    @spocko:

    Yes, it was a great ending. And people still argue about whether or not Colvin actually made it to home plate before the atmosphere of the planet caught on fire and everyone was incinerated instantly. So there are some people who say the Cubs did win, but that's mostly the Braxxelias.

    Did I mention we all live on the planet Braxxeli now? #science
     Reply
    twophrasebark was starred twophrasebark was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/06/09

    @twophrasebark: The first rule of time travel is you don't talk about travel! The second rule of time travel... you get the idea.

    Anyway, how about that Braxxelian fall? The uglhot trees with their diamond-sharp leave falling onto people we don't really like's heads, the majestic panplarts delving to the planet core for the winter, the d-bags that are still walking around trying to convince people about the relevance of Jack Johnson. #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of twophrasebark twophrasebark
    11/06/09

    @schrodingers-katana: Sorry Schrodingers. Sometimes I get lonely being the only human alive.

    Did I mention the Braxxelias ate everyone else?
     Reply
    Edited by twophrasebark at 11/06/09 6:07 PM twophrasebark was starred twophrasebark was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/06/09

    @twophrasebark: Oh I know, I'm the Braxellian hiding outside of your hover cave right now.

    Humans: the other talking meat. It's what for dinner! #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of twophrasebark twophrasebark
    11/06/09

    @schrodingers-katana:

    Oh crap. That's you? Small world. Sorry I sent my glornbot to kill you. Why don't you come on in? I'm watching Braxxeli Idol. I can't wait to see if CrobCrobCrobbyCrob wins. #science
     Reply
    twophrasebark was starred twophrasebark was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/07/09

    @twophrasebark: Hey, only fair, I was planning on eating you after all, but hell, I call a truce at least until Braxxeli Idol is on. I'm crossing my fingers for Carzak, Destroyer of Worlds to take it this year. #science
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of PistachioWildebeest PistachioWildebeest
    11/05/09

    In reply to Bird-Related Accident Suggests the Large Hadron Collider Really Is Doomed
    Presumably the failure modes will become increasingly improbable and ridiculous.

    It's only a matter of time before the LHC is sabotaged by Gnomes. #science
     Reply
    allium promoted this comment PistachioWildebeest was starred PistachioWildebeest was unstarred
    Image of allium allium
    11/05/09

    @PistachioWildebeest: They are close to Zurich. #science
     Reply
    allium was starred allium was unstarred
    Image of twophrasebark twophrasebark
    11/06/09

    @PistachioWildebeest: This just in...

    Scientists at LHC report that "a very tiny man" appears to be wedged in between the Proton Synchrotron Booster and the linear particle accelerator.

    "We have no idea how he got in there," a scientist who did not wish to be identified said. "He is wearing a very strange hat and appears to be speaking Middle English."
     Reply
    Edited by twophrasebark at 11/06/09 7:20 PM twophrasebark was starred twophrasebark was unstarred
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