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Star Trek XXX: The io9 Review [NSFW]
Secrets Of Hustler's Star Trek XXX Movie
Star Trek Porn Movie Includes... Khan?

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Burke
06/04/09

In reply to Star Trek XXX: The io9 Review [NSFW]
and the scene where he takes down Marla's hair is actually kind of sweet (and then she blows him immediately afterwards).

What were you expecting, serious plot development? Ha! That would have been pretty awesome had they thrown a completely decent, plot-worthy scene into the middle of this thing.
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dirtybacon
06/05/09

@Burke: If I had a dime for everytime I've been blown after letting a girl's hair down...
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alphanumeric1971
06/05/09

@dirtybacon: You would still be waiting for change?
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dirtybacon
06/07/09

@alphanumeric1971: I see by your icon you are Canadian, so you might not understand how a civilized society operates, but I assure you, American women appreciate a little extra attention.

(I kid, I kid... Canada is ok with me)
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kolacek
06/04/09

In reply to Star Trek XXX: The io9 Review [NSFW]
Omg...how was that NSFW?

My *work* is less safe for work than that scene was.
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Charlie Jane Anders
06/04/09

@kolacek: Well there are some pics with naughty bits.
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salviati
06/04/09

In reply to Star Trek XXX: The io9 Review [NSFW]
Please don't feed the whole NSFW article to the RSS feed. For those of us that use an RSS reader, it's not amusing to be scrolling down and accidentally stop on a NSFW picture before scrambling to close the browser. If it's a NSFW article, please try to keep it just to the title.
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Charlie Jane Anders
06/04/09

@salviati: Not actually sure how to do that. I use Google reader, and it serves up just the headlines,a nd then I can click to expand. What reader are you using?
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OW-Holmes:Bringer of Fear
06/04/09

In reply to Star Trek XXX: The io9 Review [NSFW]
I really dont understand all the TOS porn. TNG has a fully functional robot and a Klingon. Plus the holodeck would make writing it so easy.

"Oh no the holodeck is going crazy and I was in the middle of my cheerleader/nurse/school teacher program." Lather rinse repeat.
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hhaller
06/04/09

In reply to Star Trek XXX: The io9 Review [NSFW]
The things you do for your job, Charlie. Must be tough.
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d_r_e
06/04/09

@hhaller:

Totally.
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d_r_e
06/04/09

In reply to Star Trek XXX: The io9 Review [NSFW]
Indeed Carlie, Sasha Grey is so damn cute!!!
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MonstersAndRockets
06/04/09

In reply to Star Trek XXX: The io9 Review [NSFW]
>every porn video based on the franchise I've ever seen has featured a supremely unattractive actor playing Spock, and this is by no means an exception

Ouch! Here's hoping the poor guy didn't read your review. "Supremely unattractive" is some harsh phrasing... The guy is dressed like a Vulcan and showing the world his "little Spock" for a few hundred bucks. Now people are saying he's too ugly for porn! 2009 just isn't his year, I guess.

I know you marked this as NSFW, but I was still a bit surprised by the cunnalingual shot, there. I'm not complaining, I've just never seen anything near that x-rated on IO9, before.
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Charlie Jane Anders
06/04/09

@MonstersAndRockets: Well, you can't really see anything in that pic. Maybe it is too much, though. I'll take it down.
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Charlie Jane Anders
06/04/09

@MonstersAndRockets: It's not so much that he's physically unattractive, it's more that face he keeps making the whole time, like he's bored and annoyed by the sex he's having.
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MonstersAndRockets
06/04/09

@Charlie Jane Anders: Well, again, I wasn't complaining. I was just really surprised to see it. It sounds like you've shown nudity and sex acts on the site before, and I just happened to miss them.
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Charlie Jane Anders
06/04/09

@MonstersAndRockets: Yeah, after discussing it with Annalee, I put the picture back in. I like it, it's a cute pic of Sasha.
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dirtybacon
06/05/09

@MonstersAndRockets: yeah, I remember the found footage of the movie about the cosmic orgasm... that was full on porn (look up NSFW and then sort by popularity, it's in there).

I think it's kind of cool that I see io9 as running the closest in temperature to Fleshbot... and why they are my two favorite places in the Gawker universe. (They also both have the best comment community)
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alphanumeric1971
06/04/09

In reply to Star Trek XXX: The io9 Review [NSFW]
I'm just curious why fleshbot is mysteriously lacking from the rest of the gawker sites in the selection below?

I mean for gods sake you've got Bloodcopy, an ad site for a movie. How can a porn coverage site be any worse?

(It's much better in my opinion...)
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Charax
06/04/09

@alphanumeric1971:

Consumerist isn't there either, and they don't have linkbacks to the rest of the Gawker network on their respective sites either. Defamer's basically part of Gawker main now.
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Lux Alptraum
06/04/09

@alphanumeric1971: Short answer: boring legal reasons.
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Annalee Newitz
06/04/09

@Charax: consumerist was sold to consumer reports. You can find it there.
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Plague
06/04/09

In reply to Star Trek XXX: The io9 Review [NSFW]
Evan Stone is perfect casting for Kirk.

Sasha Grey is overhyped. Shoulda got Stoya.
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Lux Alptraum
06/05/09

@Plague: Yeah, Digital Playground isn't about to lend one of their biggest stars to Hustler.
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Charax
06/04/09

In reply to Star Trek XXX: The io9 Review [NSFW]
Somehow I knew you'd be the one to review this, Charlie.

...And that's why you're my favourite :)

No comments on Jada Fire? I thought she was a little bland, to be honest - in everything I've seen her in she seems to have little personality beyond "Stick that in there, you stick that in the other one, I'll moan for a bit" - which is a shame when you consider how enjoyable Sasha and Aurora were in the few moments they *tried* to act before getting down to it.

The male cast were uniformly meh, in my opinion, except for Manning.

still, nice to see some Sci Fi porn getting attention. would be nice to see a terminator parody - it may end up being better than Salvation.
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Charlie Jane Anders
06/04/09

@Charax: Glad I'm so predictable! :)

Honestly by the time I got to Jada Fire's segment my eyes were crossing with boredom. But yeah, she was awfully bland. And the way they segued into the "having sex" part of the scene was weirdly abrupt. She's like "what do we do?" and Kirk and Spock just whip out their penises. The stuff afterwards, about how she wasn't even infected, was just a bit weird.

I was also sad that Sulu did not get any!
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David Stewart
04/16/09

In reply to Secrets Of Hustler's Star Trek XXX Movie
HEY - let's try to have science fiction stories on io9 - this site is turning into a giant marketing mouthpiece - and now for the porn purveyors great!

How much did Hustler pay for this product placement

your readers deserve the truth
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Ed Grabianowski
04/16/09

@David Stewart: A lot more than the punctuation purveyors paid for their placement, apparently.
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Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip!
04/16/09

In reply to Secrets Of Hustler's Star Trek XXX Movie
Wow, spring really is mating season on Io9. Teh sexors just keep on cuming.
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crashedpc - Haifisch
04/16/09

@Belabras Ate My Baby!: This is quickly becoming Fleshbot-esque; I can't keep visiting at work for much longer!!
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Pessimippopotamus
04/16/09

@Belabras Ate My Baby!: You mean Pon Farr.
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Charlie Jane Anders
04/16/09

@crashedpc: Ha... well, it's only one more day...
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crashedpc - Haifisch
04/16/09

@Charlie Jane Anders: What kinda mating season only lasts a week?? My typical orgies haven't even gotten to the lukewarm honeylube in a week! Jeebus!
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crashedpc - Haifisch
04/16/09

In reply to Secrets Of Hustler's Star Trek XXX Movie
In order to totally not imply that I know these things, Evan Stone is a hilarious actor when he's not, uh, doing his main thing.
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dopepope
04/16/09

In reply to Secrets Of Hustler's Star Trek XXX Movie
Wow, they cast the wondrous Aurora Snow in this. Now you KNOW it's gonna be good.
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dirtybacon
04/17/09

@dopepope: THAT'S who it is!! Don't tell my fellow pervs at Fleshbot I couldn't figure it out, I'll get blacklisted!
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Joe Meils
03/31/09

In reply to Star Trek Porn Movie Includes... Khan?
As i recall, there have been several XXX rated Trek parodies under the name of "Sex Trek." Nothing new here... move along...
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Charlie Jane Anders
03/31/09

@Joe Meils: Yup, we did a complete (well, semi-complete) history of Trek porn here: [io9.com]
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