Fall is officially in full effect, which means the big bad summer sci-fi season is over! Now, personally, I set my bar so impossibly high that no film could ever come close to pleasing me unless our lord and saviour Michael Bay himself were to direct it. But perhaps some of you plebs are able to enjoy lesser entertainment - though I fail to see how you can watch anything beyond those low brows of yours. So, now that we've had a little while to absorb and reflect the entertainment we've witnessed, what really was a disaster? So, enjoy a mini "clip-show" to refresh your memory and then vote on what was truly a disaster!


WATCHMEN:



DOLLHOUSE:



TERMINATOR SALVATION:



BSG FINALE:



STAR TREK:



X-MEN ORIGINS - WOLVERINE:



TRANSFORMERS-REVENGE OF THE FALLEN:



GI JOE:



SUMMER GLAU:



DISTRICT 9:



OTHER:



Now go vote... and argue!!!

I also want to use this change in format to bring a little news. For a while now, I've been trying to bring you the best Disaster I can with the time that I have when not busy with other ventures. But, in less than two weeks, I will be welcoming a tiny disaster of my own into the world. So between that and other "official" work that I've been involved in, I will be having far less time to put together a weekly "This is a Disaster". So I am going to take a short hiatus.

I will return, I would just rather promise future greatness than deliver regular mediocrity.


I'll still be lurking around here doing the odd 'shop when time and inspiration meet. But if you want to see what work I'm up too check out my blog. I have big plans for ROACH, so continue to check there periodically. And if you are curious what the fuck I'm going to do with a baby, I just started a new blog that I will do my best to keep up with so follow along there.

Thanks for all your interest so far and I will return before you notice I'm gone.

-Garrison Dean

I came back home and what do you know, still no power. But, rather than say "eff it" and go see a movie, I said to myself "Self, how can I still get this done with no Photoshop?" So, I sat down on my couch by the window with a little sketchpad and some pencils and pens and doodled out your disaster for this week. I threw in a couple of Photoshopperies, but for the most part This Is Disaster by Candlelight.


LITERARY ESTABLISHMENT vs SCIENCE FICTION:
You see... this atmosphere of animosity in the book world is why I only watch Michael Bay movies.



SOLAR PORN:
Nasa released images of sunspots? Or an intergalactic game of lights and sound? (to be fair I just kind of felt like drawing Galactus)



BOOK OF ELI:
New trailer came out this week... eh



BIRTH OF VADER PLAYSET:
Wow, I guess the fine line between obscure (every character from Gonk to the Tonnika Sisters getting a figure) and unnecessary was discovered this week. This Christmas morning go outside and listen for a chorus of....



IN PRAISE OF MACGUFFINS:
I look forward to part II where Annalee examines the red herring but for now I'll let the discussion continue here.



NIC CAGE as SUPERMAN!!!:
I got nothing.



THIS IS A DISASTER!:
Eh. Is any movie starring Bruce Willis really a disaster?

Until next week, this is Garrison Dean saying, you're the best.

STAR TREK TOO:
The makers of the Trek reboot said that they want to try and tie it in with modern political issues. This is evident from this new leaked promo image showing the Federation's version of the old "Blindfold and push the guy out of the helicopter" torture.



JAMES WEBB MIRRORS:
The Hubble was known for having legendary technological issues and they are trying to be more careful with its replacement, The James Webb Telescope. Sadly, while they have been successful with the logistics, they have been plagued with personell issues. Apparently super perfect mirrors attracts strange employees.

It began with Jenna, the intern...

then was Phillip who told them "Those days were long over" when asked about his questionable past...

And then there was Vlad. But let's be honest, the name and the fact that he was constantly followed by 13 year old girls should have been a clue to his status as UnDead.



GALACTICA 1980:
Seriously? You gonna do "V the Series" next? On the plus side, while they are being thorough with the plot references they are taking some liberties that only the printed page could afford. (I pray someone gets this one)



PORTRAIT OF AN AUTHOR AS A GRUMPY MAN:
Very cool portraits of authors by various illustrators in the referenced link. I just thought that I'd sketch out one of my own because I just felt that the Alan Moore one didn't quite do him justice, though it was lovely. As I was working on this I liked it more and more and perhaps I'll try and actually finish it.



IT'S A DISASTER:
Feminism \ˈfe-mə-ˌni-zəm\: noun
1. 19th century- 1998 - The theory of political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.
2. 1998-current - Women acting promiscuous, violent, privileged. Basically all the worst things men have to offer only with more shopping and norks.



This is Garrison Dean, signing off for now, see you real soon!

DISTRICT 10:
So I finally saw District 9 and it was better than I had hoped. I'll definitely take a sequel. As for him tackling a video game property? I'll just say I wasn't thinking Halo when I saw D9 that's for sure...

THE CASE OF KIRK V TAM:
I'm sorry, but a walking coma patient who occasionally spazzes out and can be turned off by a phrase can't beat a walking man bomb who at worst can be distracted by the phrases "I have some Romulan Ale" and "Green poon at 4 O'clock, set phasers for fun."

First there was their tête à tête:

Then came the battle of the shows... seriously. Twilight Zone at #12 and Firefly #3?! sigh.



I guess it's a tie after all.
WAIT! Bonus Round!!!
When Summer Glau does something strangely wonderful like THIS, THIS, THIS or THIS and of course THIS then maybe she'd be in the running.
THE SHAT WINS, THE SHAT WINS!!!


V PRODUCTION SHUT DOWN:
The remake of the classic series V was shut down for undefined reasons. Don't these rich Hollywood high rollers realize that while they may be able to glide through some weeks off, the rest of the below the line production staff really takes a hit. They have to think of everyone while they run through their "creative issues".



PITCH US YOUR IDEAS:
I actually did pitch this to SyFy (back when it was Sci-Fi) and this was the mock-up I did for it. They do love their reality shows after all. One line pitch... Take overweight CosPlayers and slim them down until they really look sharp in their costumes and then a final judging by a crowd at ComicCon. I'm still available SyFy, feel free to pick it up, you know how to find me.



SUPER-BABY DNA:
So now we can add a third parent to the classic 2 parent embryo. Wow, we as humans are really taking this science ball and really rolling with it.



IT'S A DISASTER:
Ahhh "Avatar". I guess the all those complaints about the overuse of CG, lack of story and character, super inflated budgets, and too much action that get sent my way when I'm excited for Michael Bay movies must not apply to James Cameron. I'm still definitely seeing it even though...

remember. the guy also made "True Lies" and "Titanic".


Until next time...
This is Garrison Dean, signing off.

I took my camera down to San Diego, came back, and ran it through the Disaster computer and this is what came out. Sure, you've read the news, seen the panels, watched the TRON Trailer, but did anyone make you feel like you were there?

And yes, it's long (for the internet). It's supposed to be long, it's supposed to be watched when you can relax and enjoy it like humans used to do with television. So go to the link for HD, and kick your feet up for a few minutes and relax. But don't worry, it's still geared for people with an unhealthy attention span. And gents, you'll be rewarded for sticking with it. But, if you only have minute to kill might I suggest this video.

And on a personal note, I just want to thank Kid Robot for handling their own Disaster like pros and I can't wait to get my Wood Labbit.

This is Garrison Dean saying SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME A FLYNN'S ARCADE SHIRT!!!

Despite getting over 400k views, getting mentioned by Olivia Munn, and being called a racist, the best was hearing Mother Dean say with glee "Did you go viral?!" No video this week, but you better be damn sure there will be more in the future. I'm not even going to try to top last weeks yet (because you all said I couldn't) so here is some of the usual tomfoolery.


SYFY:
This week Sci-Fi made the switch. Getting tired of the constant requests for intelligent and actual science fiction from the nerds of the world they began to make the slow switch from specialized network to a homogenized, middle of the road, appeal to all, network that all cable channels seem to do. Remember a time when you would've been aghast at "Roadhouse" showing up on AMC? So they've re-branded themselves as a sort of hipster, free for all, paradise of imagination with SYFY. By eliminating the word Science Fiction they know they are shooing away those who had buttered their bread and they have a small marketing campaign dedicated just for them.


But at least they distinguish between geeks and nerds.



HULK VS. WOLVERINE:
There is a new Marvel Cartoon out and in this new still we can see Wolverine showing off some of the new ink he got on his last trip to Lake Havasu.



ENGINEERING DISASTERS:
Come on, am I that predictable? Nice try.



TRANSFORMERS:
New concept art was released this week that finally explains Devastator's nards. Here is a closeup of the piece.



IT'S A DISASTER!!!:
oh boy. Well a new Dutch produced film about a madman sewing women together butt to mouth makes "Boxing Helena" look like an exercise in good taste. All I can offer are two quotes from others and an image from myself to explain.

Dr. Ian Malcolm:
(They) were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf:
pfff. The Dutch.

Garrison Dean:



Garrison Dean's real name is not Garrison Dean and he is a liar. Though don't get too excited.

MOON:
I don't really understand why people feel the need to compare a small budgeted film about one man's personal struggle with isolation on a space station with a massive action film about giant robots fighting each other simply because they are both sort of in the same genre. But then again I also don't see how a film featuring a fairly big movie star, an academy award winning actor, and directed by the son of one of the biggest rock stars of all time can be considered "independent" just because they slowly release it only in theaters where the seats are at least 30 years old. In any case, the folks marketing "Moon" have caught on to the counter programing buzz and are rolling with it as you can see from this new ad.

IT'S A DISASTER!!!:
Every so often I feel a film is just being marketed poorly. This is often laziness and misdirection on their part. Occasionally it is arrogance when they think there is more to their film than is actually there. So, in my own arrogance, I try to help them along. Last year I felt "Hulk" needed some help. Today my mission is one that blends swimmingly with my own love of Disaster. Please enjoy this special holiday treat that I made just for you. Click on the youtube for a bigger version.

UPDATED: Visit this link to see it in true HD with film scratches and all its "vintage" glory.


This is Garrison Dean, thanking Dr. Emilio Lizardo for the inspiration for this video.

X-BABIES:
From zombie heroes to killing Cap, do you get the feeling that maybe Marvel doesn't really think through all of their wacky ideas? I mean, X-Babies?! This will end badly.



EMOTIONAL ROBOTS:
There were so many complaints about the confusing design and lack of emotion in the first Transformer that Michael Bay went out of his way to add a sidekick character in this one that really can show that the Autobots are nothing but heart.



CAPTAINS TABLE:
I don't normally say things like this, but these two seem like good well meaning guys who are working on a really fun business venture. So I'll just mutter. sorryboutthis.


FUTURE WHOOPS:
An massive underground bunker devoted to dangerous experimental science... What could possibly go wrong?



COMMENTER AWARENESS:
Well, summer is upon us. This means that there are people out there with a bit more time on their hands now that they aren't burdening professors with sophomoric ideas on politics and philosophy. Instead, they inflict us with their thoughtless fandom. Reminding us what high art G1 Transformers were and how badly their memories have been raped via countless adaptations and sequels. They aren't really trolls as their opinions can be valid and they aren't looking for a fight, so they don't quite deserve good old Donald Sutherland. I think their problem isn't really a need for attention or a lack of intelligence, but rather a lack of direction. So they just need a street sign. So use this to point them in the right way.


IT'S A DISASTER!!!:
I'm sorry you guys. Pointing out disasters is taking a week off. As the man who created the tag "Michael Bay is Awesome" I am taking a moment to honor the man as he unleashed one of his greatest works of art on the world. My review? (and this is honest) It was awesome, I really enjoyed it. Though I will admit it was a bit much. But, complaining about excess in a Michael Bay movie starring 40' tall robots is like telling the waitress at Cheesecake Factory that your salad is too big.

So Sir Bay, as you dominate the Box Office and as the world Twitters away about your Bill Brasky-like facts, I want to share this fact. You naysayers are right, Michael Bay has no heart. It was replaced by God with a never ending controlled explosion so that he may forever bring to the world more grandeur. In honor of his sacrifice I created this painting which I titled

"Deliver Us Some Awesome"

Garrison Dean's real name is not Garrison Dean and he understands that some of you may be crazy enough to want wallpaper.

FREAKY WEATHER:
Yeah, it's raining tadpoles in Asia. You gotta take care of that.



STAR WARS ARCHITECTURE: This week we learned how much Star Wars influenced modern architecture, but I wanted to point out a couple of important examples that were left out.
More than meets the London Eye as it were...


And who can forget Bollywood's excitement for the re-releases. They added some much needed improvements to one of their most famous landmarks. R2's head even projects a little film about the building's history!


And did you know that George Washington was not only our founding father but the 2nd biggest Star Wars fan ever? I say second biggest because the biggest fan ever was...


STOP IT SNORG:
... this guy!!



VINTAGE DISASTER:
With Transformers 2 coming out this week I want to take a moment to remember the good old days of terror before we discovered that Transformers would be the finest example of rock em sock em robotry to meet the silver screen. The days of FLAMES ON OPTIMUS?! BEE IS A CAMARO?! And of course... Transformers In Name Only.


MICHAEL BAY IS AWESOME:
Seriously. They have begun scientific testing on Michael Bay and are beginning to prove that awesome is just hardwired into his biology. There is nothing he can do about it. Look at this example. Scientists are hoping they can develop a drug, or at least a therapeutic routine, from these studies that can be administered to individuals who fail to Shut Up and Eat Their Awesome.



CURRENT DISASTER:
The upcoming film Event Horizon 2 changed its title this week and released a new poster showing off some of its assets as it were.



Later kids. This is Garrison Dean signing off.

GAMER:
Now, I'm sure that controlling Gerard Butler is really special and the pinnacle of the FPS experience, but aren't there better ways that we could use that technology. And for that matter wouldn't it make for a more interesting picture?



GAY PENGUINS:
Scientists have discovered this week that two gay penguins have adopted a child and are wonderful parents. Now this may come as a shock to some of you but the rest of us have known for a while that many animals are gay. But sadly what should have been a unifying scientific discovery for the world has begun to create a rift in the gay communities of the animal kingdom as the new Out Magazine explains.


GHOSTBUSTERS:
Hey, the new IKEA catalog is out and it has something for everyone. Even the Keymaster!


THOSE GALACTIC HEROES:
Hey, who knew Mon Mothma was a spy?! It clears up that whole "It's a TRAP!" thing though.



CONSIDER IT CAPTIONED:
Commenter, and blog buddy, Plague's caption for the Michael Bay shot was too good not to re-post here in its full glory so anyone who missed it the first time can see it here.


TOTAL DISASTER:
io9ers... Get your ass to Mars so you can avoid the slew of remakes coming down the road.

This is GarrisonDean saying tune in RIGHT NOW!!!

TERMINATOR:
Well I guess it's true, the franchise really is on its last legs.



V:
Well I'm sure that for those of you in the antiseptic world known as Canada the new V will seem frighteningly real and terrifying. For the rest of us, well, they canceled Sarah Connor so an hour was just freed up for the week.


FLASH FORWARD:
A show where people see the future. Some people see days of terror, some see sad days, while some see... happy days.


STAR TREK:
New Blu-Ray editions of the Star Trek films came out this week with some new special features showing that they were really trying to break some new ground on the first film by working with some different artists and concepts... it didn't fly.



PEDISEDATE:
Well, a very very big mystery was solved this week. The Mystery of "what the living hell is that exactly?" in the io9 logo.



IT'S A DISASTER!!!:
Now I say this as someone who is a big fan of the original series so take that as you may, but...

Have a good holiday everyone. I need it.

Garrison Dean's real name is not Garrison Dean.

BLAMMOIDS:
Not sure exactly what these are but I think they must tie in with the new "reboot" from Bryan Singer. Guy doesn't know when to leave well enough alone huh?


STAR TREK:
Everyone wants to know who they'll battle next. How about the most dangerous, deplorable, and despicable race in the universe? The Kardashians.

GLOBAL WARMING:
... is the least of these guys problems.


THE ROAD:
So I was going to do a goofy, Devlin Emmerich style poster to mock the new trailer that was coming out, but as I began to put pieces together I kind of liked what I was doing so I took it kind of straight. Nothing silly here I just kind of like it and I'll bet dollars to doughnuts it's better than what they come up with.


IT'S A DISASTER!!!
Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus?! Poor Debbie Gibson. Poor poor Golden Gate Bridge, they just put you back together after Magneto. Guess What...



ROACH:

Well, I have to say guys, I'm very proud of you. I'm not going to turn the Disaster column into a ROACH forum, but for this week I am going to make an exception. Plenty of you have joined up, and I'm going to do my best to have The Potentate respond to as many of you as he can.
But, you guys are awesome and are taking this as seriously as I am, I expect the death ray will be done in no time! Before long I will begin putting up the profiles of the super villains on the site. Because the response has been so great, I have decided broaden the scope (and lessen my work) by starting a Blog and believe it or not a Facebook Group. So find ROACH wherever to keep posted on all our goings on!


As for shirts, hopefully what was initially going to be a 4-6 week wait will be shorter than that thanks to the response. I also want to say that I will definitely get these done in time for Comic-Con so any of you going down there can spot fellow ROACHes from a mile away. The Potentate also told me to tell you that for the more "powerful" of you out there he has added 2XL and 3XL sizes. Check out the Blog, or the Facebook page for more info as it comes. And if this does well enough The Potentate definitely wants to make shirts for the various departments, especially for TICK.

But for now... go get one! They'll be nice, trust me.

Spread the word... ROACH is here!


You nerds are alright. Until next week...

Garrison Dean's real name is not The Potentate

Astute readers may have seen a couple of these, but that doesn't mean they weren't done with love, and for you.

STAR TOURS:
I'll preface this by saying that I love Star Tours, and think that the fact that it is dated only adds to its charm. Unfortunately, the people at Disney don't agree, wanting to add *GASP* Prequel Characters! Seriously?! Have they been in there? It's so steeped in the classic design of the original trilogy that any new characters will stick out like sore thumbs. Not like that stopped Lucas in the past. Admiral Ackbar, what say you?


TERMINATOR:
Sometimes you don't need a reason to play with Photoshop and pop culture references. And if you are keeping track at home this is the 2nd time I've mashed together Terminator and Wild Things. That means either one is too goofy, or one is waaaay too dark.



DOLHAUS:
Joss Whedon's greatest work ever, CJA, I couldn't agree with you more? (To be read like Ron Burgundy. Some of you will know what that means.)


IRON MAN:
The Iron Man 2 publicity train isn't rolling yet, but it has pulled into the station.



COMMENTER AWARENESS:
So, let's say someone on the site puts forth an absolutely ludicrous opinion. It happens hourly on the comment threads, though never happens from the staff (cough*dollhousecough*cjacough).

Now, you could be a dick about it and say something like "GarrisonDean, with your head so far up your ass, you must need a glass stomach so you can see where you're going." but that would get you Dsmvwld. So, as you have been doing so majestically with the TROLL! image, just post this little lady I call "Tiny Dr. No" to get your point across. It works wonders and has been proven to scare people from ever voicing their opinion again.

(As a side note, I pulled this image off of Google image search, so let that be a lesson to those posting images of children, they'll probably get misused. And to the parents of Tiny Dr. No... Congratulations, It's a Meme.)


ROACH:
The time is drawing nigh. Join us, or perish.

We do offer 3 weeks of vacation and match your 401k.

Oh and let's try to clear up this whole Consortium of Evil nonsense. And by clear up I mean absorb them or destroy them.


DISASTER:
That's right. I'm flipping the script this week cause the teens of America scare me.



This has been GarrisonDean... ROACH forever!

CAPRICA:
I still haven't watched it.
And by the way? I didn't want your stupid Zune anyways, my Sansa works just fine.



STAR TREK:
Lens flares, clever creative enhancement or blinding nuissance? Discuss.

Seriously though, I am really excited for this film. The ship looks awesome.

New Kirk, Old Kirk, Picard etc... Who's the best captain? Keep in mind, Janeway never put srtipper poles in the shuttlecraft.



THE ROAD:
Well, the film adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's "The Road" finally got a more secure release date. It had been held up for some retooling after the test screenings decided that it was entirely way too dark and depressing to be released in its current form.
So the studio put their best minds behind it and problem solved! Now it's a story of a father and son in a post apocalyptic wasteland looking for salvation while on the run from cannibalistic marauders, but they're aided by a giant cartoon bear named Rhoadie who's as loveable as he is clumsy. Watch as they get into any number of crazy misadventures. From Rhoadie scaring off bad guys to the time when they all wake up in a fallout shelter and Rhoadie accidentally eats all the food while he's dreaming. UH OH! Here is a shot from the improved film where Rhoadie is trying to catch up to his buddies.


SUPERDORKS:
So it's decided. The unchecked goodie-goodieness of these pathetic fools wedged into bike shorts who call themselves "Superheroes" is about to be thrown back into their face! The police can handle muggers and bleeding heart liberals can feed homeless people. These sods want to be Superheroes?! How can one be a Superhero without a Super-Villain as their Arch-nemesis!!! I call on you io9ers.. join me and my organization as we reduce these comic-store rejects to whimpering piles of goo on their city streets and the basements of their mothers.

Join R.O.A.C.H. (thanks to NefariousNewt for the Acronym) to fulfill your villainous destiny! Plus, how can you say no to a logo like that, especially after you look at their website. The only thing super about that, is that it's super shitty.

DISASTER:
Oh guys... Wolverine has a confession.



Alright, have a good week, stay frosty.

GarrisonDean's real name is not GarrisonDean and he once went to college.

BIG MAN JAPAN:
Clearly Big Man Japan's biggest enemy is the same thing plaguing us all.



PROBO:
Well the Belgians created the creepiest thing evar. I guess it's the love child of the Feebles and Patch Adams or something, but it allowed me to get out this very important public service announcement which I lovingly dedicate to my Dutch wife who taught me that the only thing you need to hate a large group of people is a shared border.



ROBO PENGUINS:
I for one welcome our new robotic penguin overlords and offer my services for your propaganda machine.


COMMENTER AWARENESS:
I'm going to break from the norm just a little bit this week and start a new new little segment. You see I got started here by posting appropriate pictures in comment threads, which to be honest can be one of the most annoying things on the internet and is one step closer to the 4Chan-inization of society.
So, in the effort to keep things somewhat well designed and civilized I am designing premade images for you to use when words fail. This week, a handly Troll graphic. Don't feed the troll, just img src him with this poison pill the next time someone hops on a Blade Runner, or Dr. Who thread just to say they don't see what the fuss is all about and that it's really overrated, or that the Prequels were actually better than you old farts give them credit for, then watch him wither and die. So get out there and use this people. If it isn't overused and misused by the end of next week I will feel I failed. (ahem, I'd really love to see it used occasionally on a certain gaming site I know of)


ALIEN COMMUNICATION:
Again, breaking from the norm here. Some Egghead over at Oxford thinks that we would have a tough time really communication with aliens we meet in a first contact. It inspired me to do this little cartoon. Sure it's a break from my usual photoshopperie, but whatever, I have a column and you don't so neener-neener.

THIS IS A DISASTER:
New stills were released from JJ Abram's Star Trek and in one of them it seems Chekov has made a startling discovery

Alright friends, I'll see you all next week, same Dean time, same Dean channel.

GarrisonDean's real name is not GarrisonDean, and he's not on Facebook.

ECO FRIENDLY:
No one wants to canoodle on an empty stomach so how about a nice light lunch?



SPACE BONERS:
A photo of Saturn's rings found this week was actually previously used in the mid 90's for a DJ Mixtape from God himself. God had spent some time in the UK and was palling around with Oakenfold and Fatboy Slim and their ilk. He did a set at Glastonbury, then released this one and only album. It was terrible.


SNIKT IS ALSO THE SOUND LOGAN'S WANG MAKES WHEN HE SEES JEAN:
Ok... So, I know that after the massive success of "The Dark Knight" making more "grown-up" and "dark" comic adaptations are all the rage, but I really really think that Fox is going too far with the old Canucklehead's first solo outing.


It's been discussed before here that Mutants clearly represent persecuted social groups but really?


Now, I know that part of Wolverine's allure is his journeys through history but I really think they could've omitted his brief imprisonment in WWII's fascist Italy. It was really bad for him...

and really really really bad for Cyclops.


DISASTER:
Bones... Hustler. is making Star... Trek Porn.. This can mean... onlyonething...



Well I think I got a lot of weirdness out of my system. I'll see you all again next week with god knows what.

GarrisonDean, Signing off.

TERMINATOR VS. DRAGONBALL!
Well it's Sunday people! You know what that means...



COSMODROME:
Aside from having like, the most awesome name for a spaceship, the new Kazakh rocket also gave us a new frame of the famous Soviet Comic Strip Anton & Viktor about a man and his loving but contentious relationship with his dog.


WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE:
Is it me, or does this film seem unusually dark and violent for a kids film? I mean, look at this screengrab from the trailer!



BATTLESTAR:
Well, it's been a week for the post coital red spinal glow to wear off and I think we've moved into the acceptance stage. But, National Geographic got all excited that they had Ron Moore reading an issue of their rag at the end of the episode to claim that Mitochondrial Eve was Hera... Uh huh. Well, thanks to Bill "I'm saying my final good-bye to my son even though I'm only taking a ship capable of traveling light years in a second a few hundred miles" Adama, here is what I think would have been a more appropriate National Geographic cover.



DISASTER:
Ok... Just how terrible is Dragonball going to be?



Until next time my friends...

Garrison Dean's real name is not Garrison Dean and he doesn't limit himself to still images.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Before we get started I have to let you all know that it has been discussed among the staff here and we are changing the name of this site because we felt that it attracts too many fat fucking nerds like YOU (you know who you are). So from hence forth welcome to...



BOOK OF ELI:

Denzel, and Gary Oldman in one film!? Will there be any scenery left to chew?
Their previous sci-fi effort was a lot smaller in scale, but still looks interesting from this old flyer I found.


HEROES:
Word has it that on set egos and conflicts may lead to Hayden Panetierre leaving "Heroes" which I think is a brilliant idea because I think we're all ready for her to be launched into superstardom.
Her new film should do that nicely I think.

BATTLESTAR:
So, I was digging through some old files and found some old photoshopperie (with appropriate comments which I have italicized to show their oldness) I did when Battlestar was first announced. And can I say, boy was I on to something back then. Hollywood needs to stop remaking and changing things because it is ALWAYS a disaster as I think we have learned from this dumb-ass show. Though I will admit I was apparently very culturally insensitive at the time. I guess BSG, and all it's hippie namby pamby preaching, has had some effect on me.

First off, a girl Starbuck? Jesus, what's next? DISASTER!


Uh huh... I wonder how they'll explain a Daggit with their precious "realism".


Need I say more? Am I right, or am I right?


Oh, and finally, you wanna see just how far they're going to go with this liberal claptrap? Check this out.

DISASTER!:
I will drop the faux snark for a moment...

Have a good week friends, like Kara Thrace I'm outta h...

MARVEL:
Doing their darndest to blow all possible trust they've earned after a few good flicks (Yes I loved Punisher: War Zone) they've concocted this for some unknown reason.


GAYS HAVE SUPERPOWERS:
Speaking of Marvel, writer Matt Fraction (who I believe also lead M.A.S.K. if I'm not mistaken, which I am) let us know that he intentionally used his magic laptop, which turns his fiction into reality, to conjure a nightmare political scenario for the LGBT community. He writes a story for X-Men about Mutants not being able to marry one another and BOOM it happens in the real world with gays. Not a very nice thing to do, but at least us nerds get cool images like this that I found in the Sacremento Bee of a protest at the State Capitol. TRASK!!!!


MAYHEW? NO YOU MAY NOT!:
Speaking of Prop 8. Boy did those Yes on 8 ads get out of hand.

TERMINATOR:
Speaking of bizarre yet intriguing sexual fantasies with fictional characters... Terminator went on a mini blitz this week with stills and a new trailer that showed us a brand new model of Terminator. Apparently SkyNet has given up on trying to eradicate humanity and is going to settle for seriously weirding us the fuck out.

Here is John Connor, so handsome with his short hair, and his sexy redheaded pregnant lady-friend, receiving intel on the new Terminator.


And Chekov dealing with one in action.

DISASTER:
OH! And speaking of Terminator... They released a new trailer this week. How do I feel about it? Let me see.

MUSICALS:
Spidey? Star Wars Musical Experience?! Sigh. How long before this...


DESIGN:
Speaking of Star Wars... Don't buy furniture or art from Tatooine Desert Nymphs who leave poor droids to fend for themselves.



SPLICE:
Ah the good old LoLmutants.



ATLANTIS:
Didja hear?! They found Atlantis on Google Earth!!! Here are some things I found on Google Earth that are also not total BS.

And don't even get me started on Street View!!!



DISASTER:
Oh yeah. There's a doozy of a disaster this week. Thank you Street Fighter! You there, please tell them who you are, and what that means...



Until next time!!