This is the first official look at the Destro mask from the G.I. Joe movie, which is actually pretty realistic, all things considered. For a better look check out IESB.

Also out of all of the toys we've seen come out for the new G.I. Joe film, this is our favorite, the Snake Eyes role playing kit from Hasbro. Complete with throwing stars!

The maquette is from the uber talented minds of Quantum Mechanix, who also created the Starship Enterprise models we showed you last week. And it's just the first of many Stargate figures coming your way. According to the artists,

Teal'c is sculpted as we first meet him in the Stargate SG-1 pilot episode Children of the Gods: First Prime of Apophis and deeply troubled by what he has seen and done in his god's name. That's why, when the humans of the Tau'ri (that's us Earthlings) arrive on the scene, Teal'c rejects a life of obedience to rebel against his master and all Goa'uld.

The Teal'c maquette comes posed in full armor and holding his Jaffa staff weapon, a look of defiance captured in this animation-style statue. He comes standing on a base that is a miniaturized, screen-accurate Stargate replica. Limited to just 1,000 pieces, the Teal'c maquette is hand-painted and hero-sized – standing over 9 inches tall.

Teal'c is going to retail for $89.95 in an edition of 1,000 and is about nine inches tall. I can't wait to see what they have in store for the rest of the crew.

For more information check out Quantum Mechanix, and make sure to check back for additional Stargate updates.

Watching the trailer, you'd have no idea what to expect from the film. When you see a trailer for an American movie these days, you've seen the funniest lines, the biggest explosions, and you know all the beats in the story to look for. With this one, we went in knowing there's something about a toy and an alien, and a little kid who screams a lot... but only in the trailer.

While the movie is a "Stephen Chow Film" about CJ7, which turns out to be a weird sort of alien/toy hybrid, the real star of the film is Xu Jiao. She plays the part of Dicky Chow, a boy, who receives CJ7 as a piece of flotsam his dad picked up in the junkyard. She has more screen time than either Chow or the completely CGI-ized CJ7, and she's both charming and funny.

In fact, for the first time in one of Chow's films, children are the real stars of the movie, and he gets some stellar performances out of them. Check out the round-headed boy (who is also played by a girl) who wants to be an entrepreneur in the clip above. He ends up becoming Dicky's nemesis (more on that in the clip below), and later you realize you could watch an entire movie about the daily lives of these schoolkids.

Anyhow, the basic plot is that Dicky and his father are extremely poor, and Dicky's father works long hours in a construction job just to be able to send his son to an expensive private school. As a result, they live near squalor in a house that is falling apart, and he can't afford to buy Dicky any of the cool toys that the other kids have at school, like CJ1, a sort of Sony Aibo looking robodog. Dicky feels left out, and his dad goes searching through the junkyard to find a toy for Dicky.

That's where things go wonky. He finds a hunk of bright green phlegm-colored plastic that looks like either a strange basketball, or something that fell off a fisherman's boat. It's a poor toy compared to a robot, that's for sure. However, when Dicky's dad locks him in a closer for misbehaving (something Dicky does frequently), the ball comes to life and puts Dicky in some sort of a holographic projection that shows him a set of instructions in rebus-form. Later, the ball comes to life, and eventually becomes a little half fluffy / half plastic toy dog.

Dicky thinks the dog has magic powers and can help him handle the bullies at school. In fact, some of the best scenes in the movie are the fantasy sequences (like the scene below where CJ7 faces "the most violent dog in the world") that unfold in Dicky's mind. In reality, CJ7 is more like a little Pomeranian toy dog than a robotic alien savior, but he does come imbued with E.T.-esque healing powers that work on both people and machines.

Eventually Dicky has to learn to live without CJ7, although this is a movie aimed at kids and families, so don't expect it to end on a sad note. Much like Shaolin Soccer and Kung Fu Hustle, this film is a bit like Looney Tunes on acid, with extreme over the top action sequences and CGI effects. The scenes with CJ7 and Dicky at school are the best in the film, and highlight how creative this Chow can be. At its worst moments, the movie drags a bit with Chow himself struggling at his job, or the heavy-handed father/son relationship which is tenuous at best.

CJ7 might look cutesy Hello Kitty-ish, but we totally want one on our shelves. The film opens this weekend, and is definitely worth checking out, especially if you like slapstick comedy and a little cuteness in your aliens.

Did he go albino somewhere along the way, or the did movie just feature his botoxed and tanned Hollywood cousin? Somehow, rendered in plastic, the thing just doesn't terrify like it did in the film. Maybe if it had a little Hud action figure (complete with camera) that it could terrorize, that might amp up the believability. But after seeing these images, we're going to hit the reset button. Maybe next time, Cloverfield... although we still want the Statue of Liberty head accessory. [Thanks David!]

In a day and age when Sesame Street ruled the airwaves and toys were marketed as "enriching and learning," Alphie was educational in the way white bread was "filled with vitamins." Armed with plastic game cards, Alphie allegedly could teach you math, memory skills, and some language basics. But all he was really good for was playing "Claire De Lune" over and over so you could drive your parents crazy.

He was sadly retired when Alphie II came out in the 1980s, but the new model sucked harder than the old one, and he was banished to the deep recesses of attics and basements across America. Alphie, I know you're somewhere in my parent's house in Texas. When I find you we'll see who gets schooled then, bitch.

Although Stretch was filled with goo that allowed him to perform his Plastic Man tricks, Vac-Man was filled with grainy pieces of "vegetable matter." Once you twisted his body into some malformed shape, you could shove the Vac-Pump into his ear and suck all the air out of him, and he'd stay in whatever shape you'd posed him into until you let the air come whooshing back by pressing his "cybernetic button." It didn't take long before you'd put him in the most perverted position possible and leave him like that until your mother confiscated the toy. Not that we'd know anything about that.

Check out the extremely informative instructions for Vac-Man in the gallery. The best part is that if Vac-Man breaks, don't despair! You can get a parent to fix him with a balloon, some rubber cement, and a little know-how. Just try doing that with a damn Xbox.