True Blood Dies As It Lived—With A Lot Of What The Fuck

Last night we all said goodbye to True Blood forever, and shit got weird. Really weird and morbid and silly and—well, it was all just so very True Blood. » 8/25/14 6:50pm 8/25/14 6:50pm

True Blood's Second To Last Episode Remembers Great Love And Weird Sex

What a weird, weird, weird episode of True Blood. This is the second to last episode of True Blood ever and there was so much good, and so much wah-wah Vampire Bill. But that's OK, because love returned and now we are all alive again. » 8/18/14 7:17pm 8/18/14 7:17pm

True Blood: "Here Is A Hot Dildo On A Stick, Are You Not Entertained?"

True Blood is hell bent on getting shit done this week. So hang on tight, because True Blood is about to wrap things up, and fast. Oh, also there were some ridiculous/horrifying medieval torture sex toys, because True Blood! » 8/11/14 8:01pm 8/11/14 8:01pm

True Blood Brings Back America's Boyfriend

Last night's episode may have been filled with people just setting things up for the next week (and yeah, that's lame), but it did herald the return of America's Boyfriend. Plus we got to see what Vampire Pity Sex looks like. » 8/04/14 6:24pm 8/04/14 6:24pm

True Blood Finally Resurrects The Monster Inside Vampire Bill

Cue up the Elton John, because The Bitch is Back. This week, True Blood brought back old bitchy Bill. And it was great, until Sookie made it all about her. You're the worst, Sookie! Spoilers ahead. » 7/28/14 6:17pm 7/28/14 6:17pm

On True Blood, Everything Is Bloodier In Texas

Last night, everyone in Bon Temps got drunk and made really bad decisions at a wake party—as you do when you are from Bon Temps and regularly have sex with dead things. But more importantly, our favorite vampire recreated a scene from Terminator 2 and now everything is perfect and beautiful. » 7/21/14 6:31pm 7/21/14 6:31pm

True Blood Brings Back Everything We Love About This Series

OK, now that was a very good episode of True Blood, mostly because it ended a lot of annoying story lines that no one cared about in favor of delivering piping hot fan service—and one reveal so fantastic it almost caused me to throw both my wine and my cat. » 7/14/14 3:15pm 7/14/14 3:15pm

In True Blood, Everyone Is Naked And Crying And Dead In The Forest

I am NOT HAPPY about last night's True Blood. SO not happy. But I don't want to spoil it all right now, so let me explain what happened pro/con style. » 7/07/14 7:17pm 7/07/14 7:17pm

True Blood Makes Every Character's Crotch Explode

True Blood, a show where one character can literally explode in another's crotch, and no, I don't just mean sex. Yes, of course, there was sex; this is True Blood! And last night, a whole lotta ground-shaking crotch explosions occurred—but no actual plot advancement, mostly just nonsense and crotch stuff. » 6/30/14 5:59pm 6/30/14 5:59pm

True Blood: This Is The End, Let's Kill All Our Friends, The End

Welp, this is it: the very first episode of the very last season of True Blood. And for the beginning of the end of the vampire hump-hump show, I was a little nonplussed. I mean, there was still excellent vampire sex and death, but I gotta say, I expected a wee bit more in the What-the-Fuckery department. But let me… » 6/23/14 2:04pm 6/23/14 2:04pm

Goodbye True Blood Season 6, and thanks for the Vampire Dong!

This was it: the very last episode of True Blood season six. And not a single moment of it made a lick of sense. However we did get to see that VAMPIRE DONG DA DONG DONG DONG. Spoilers ahead, plus this recap is NSFW for random, dancing vamp breasticles. » 8/19/13 5:06pm 8/19/13 5:06pm

What the hell is going on with True Blood?

Sometimes, when a series is comfortable with its fans, it will take giant leaps of faith that are no longer aimed at the casual viewers, but just for the die-hards. Like the end of Battlestar Galactica. Or this latest episode of True Blood, where a human person bites into their own arm and doesn't scream bloody murder. » 8/12/13 11:39pm 8/12/13 11:39pm

Watch True Blood's girl fight that will live in our hearts forever

Two important things happened on Sunday's True Blood. First, everybody told Bill he sucks (he does suck. You SUCK, BILL). And second, the most epic girl fight in the history of shows about vampires who mash their naughty bits took place. To the Pro/Con mobile! » 8/06/13 7:00am 8/06/13 7:00am

True Blood teaches us how to have Dirty Dancing vampire sex!

One character died and a bunch of other characters had sex (OK, the second part isn't that surprising for True Blood) but still, why did it feel like nothing happened last night? Is this what a vampire treading water looks like? » 7/29/13 11:10pm 7/29/13 11:10pm

OK, Let's talk about what happened on this week's True Blood

Alright, alright, alright, alright, I'm SORRY. I'm so so so so sorry. And I'm not sorry I'm not sorry, I'm genuinely sorry I missed doing the True Blood recap this week. So here it is... » 7/25/13 8:58pm 7/25/13 8:58pm

True Blood: Now With Better Plots AND Weird Humping

The name of this True Blood episode is "Fuck The Pain Away." HBO is preaching directly to the choir, and we are eating it up. Preach on you Kings and Queens of Bon Temps. That's right True Blood is back to being awesome again. It's time to remember why you started watching this series, Pro/Con style. Spoilers... » 7/15/13 11:43pm 7/15/13 11:43pm

Last night's True Blood was a return to classic vampire humping

Holy Hog Tits — last night's True Blood felt like a some crazy first season shit. There was V-Juice tripping, vampire fantasies, new sex games and big fat vampire mistakes. It was really, truly awesome. If this is the new direction for True Blood, I am on board. Now let's dissect the awesomeness, Pro/Con style. » 7/08/13 10:56pm 7/08/13 10:56pm

True Blood serves up a plateful of Classic Eric. Bill still sucks.

I've grown accustomed to True Blood. Its smiles, its frowns, its ups, its downs are second nature to me now, like breathing out and breathing in. So even a not-so-great episode, such as last night's, is still entertaining. So let's get to the Pros/Cons. Spoilers ahead! » 7/01/13 5:46pm 7/01/13 5:46pm

True Blood: A Totally Normal Show For Normal People

What was that? No seriously, what the hell did we just watch? I love this show, but it is very lucky that vampires have the power to float outside bedroom windows and be sexy or else I'M OUT. Slightly NSFW gifs ahead. » 6/24/13 8:44pm 6/24/13 8:44pm

True Blood premiere switches from vampire politics to threesomes

True Blood is BAAAAAaaaaaaack! And we're so excited. Here it is — the first super spoilery recap to the 6th season premiere episode stuffed to the brim with HOT VAMPIRE BOOK READING ACTION. » 6/17/13 6:57pm 6/17/13 6:57pm