I'm usually a huge fan of the digital shorts, and sass others who say they're lame or simply not funny, but I was one of the others last night, and it stung. That is, until Brian Austin Green showed up.

We've started a Flickr group called "Sarah Connor Made Me Do It." Post pictures of yourself with products that sponsored Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles there, and we'll make sure the folks at Fox and Warner Bros. see it. (A semi-complete list of products that sponsored the show is here.) Update: Sources tell io9 the show's biggest sponsors were Chrysler Dodge Ram and Verizon Wireless.

Bonus points if you manage to look like a Terminator or a future Resistance fighter holding a Mountain Dew bottle or Dove Bar.

You can also buy some of these products and send them to Fox or Warners at the addresses here, with a note saying "Sarah Connor made me do it." And as always, if you do write to either studio, please make sure your post is respectful and non-psychotic. Do it for Sarah Connor!

Monday:

Chuck -
The dreamy Scott Bakula dons a floppy hair-don't as Chuck's washed out drunkard Pop. Together, Chuck and his blonde girlfriend convince Pops to dry out long enough to join the family wedding. But all that work goes to hell when Chevy Chase pops in as a lunatic CEO with a dark and twisted past that links directly back to Bakula. Chuck is on NBC at 8 PM.

Chuck Promo:

Chuck Clip:

Heroes -
After last week's not-terrible episode, this week's has a lot to live up to, especially since it's all about Angela. This week, we get answers to Angela's past. Meanwhile, Noah continues to have marital troubles, and Sylar continues his buddy cop journey with Danko. Heroes is on NBC at 9 PM.

Heroes Promo:

Heroes Clip:

Movies:

Possibly the creepiest, and most overlooked, movie ever — Disney's The Black Hole — is on TCM tonight at 5:45 PM. A crew discovers a spaceship on the edge of a black hole with a nasty secret and a mad Captain.

Tuesday:

Fringe -
J.J. Abrams' Scooby Gang is back, with a pale feral child who makes Walter dance. But how does this silent child relate to a creepy serial killer who's been leaving his/her victims splayed out in public squares for all to see? Fringe is on Fox at 9 PM.

Fringe Clip-

Fringe Promo-

Reaper -
It's a Reaper road trip, where Sock tries to sleep with his stepsister, and Sam almost gets eaten by a giant snake creature. You know: same old, same old. Reaper it on the CW at 8 PM.

Reaper Clip:

Reaper Promo:

Cupid -
Trevor continues on with his Cupid shtick, with Claire's friend Riley. And we all learn an important lesson about love, or something. Cupid is on ABC at 10 PM.

Wednesday:

Better Off Ted -
A glitch in the company's sensor system causes Ted to have to battle the execs' cost-cutting ways yet again. But who cares about him? Phil and Lem are back! Better Off Ted is on ABC at 8:30 PM.

Lost -
The horribly misunderstood Ben must atone for all his bad deeds, by coming face to face with the smoke monster. Will we ever find out what it is? Who knows, but Smokey is still my favorite character on the island. Lost is on ABC at 9 PM.

Lost Promo:

UFO Hunters -
Cuba and Florida teem with underwater alien bases — just ask the UFO Hunters, on the History Channel at 10 PM.

Thursday:

Catch up on your Kings from 11 PM until 3 AM with a mini marathon, over at the Syfy Channel.

No new Smallville.

No new Supernatural.

Movies:

Aliens are disguised as creepy little infants in this 90s remake of the classic 1960 film, Village of the Damned. That's at 2 AM on Cinemax.

Friday:

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
It's a face-to-metal-face confrontation. Weaver finally gets the business meeting of a lifetime, tonight in the season finale. That's on Fox at 8 PM.

TSCC Promo

Dollhouse -
The House team figures out that an intelligence leak is coming from inside the house! So the only thing to do is turn Sierra and Echo into super-secret spies and set them loose inside their own abode. Dollhouse is on Fox at 9 PM.

Dollhouse Promo:

Prepare to suspend your disbelief indefinitely for both parts of a movie about a massive 10.5 scale earthquake that threatens to turn the US into some version of hell, only with sushi. Apocalypse parts 1 and 2 is on USA at 10 AM.

Another good double feature is The Fly and The Fly 2, over at AMC at 2:14 AM and 4:15 AM. I'm actually more interested in seeing Fly 2 as it's all about the unfortunate fly scientist's spawn being a teen and dealing with his raging insect instincts.

Saturday:

Movies:
There's a classic SyFy channel low-budget werewolf movie — this time with a military slant because they're using werewolves as soldiers. War Wolves is on at 11 PM.

Another terrible Syfy Original, Monster Ark, alleges that before Noah built THE arc, he built another one for monsters — and one got loose and he hid it in a box in Iraq, and they find it in this movie. So that's what happened to the unicorns, check it out at 5 PM.

Sunday:

Kings -
Macaulay Culkin is finally making his grand Kings debut, and I cannot wait. He's so perfect for the evil cast-out son, it's going to be tremendous. Kings is on NBC at 8 PM.

Movies:

The worst Kevin Costner movie of them all, Waterworld, will come jet skiing your way on Encore at 8 PM.

Monday:

Chuck -
Move over Sarah - Tricia Helfer is on Chuck detail, and the world's sexiest robot is getting her spy on. Of course, Sarah won't stand for this replacement and I'm sure there will be yet another "hot" girl fight just like every other time a sexy woman guest stars. Chuck is on NBC at 8 PM.

Chuck Promo:

Chuck Clip:

Heroes -
Nathan and Claire hightail it to Mexico, and Peter reconnects with Angela. But more importantly Heroes is bringing back classic bad-boy Sylar. Let's hope it works - but if it doesn't, they could always make him good again, and then bad, and then good. Heroes is on NBC at 9 PM.

Heroes Promo:

Movies:

Get an eyeful of mutated cave dwellers, when the National Guard comes under attack from cave people in The Hills Have Eyes 2, on Cinemax at 8:30 PM.

Tuesday:

Still no new Fringe this week - but thank goodness, it's back next week. Meanwhile, there's a Level 9 marathon on the Syfy Channel from 8 AM until 4 PM.

Reaper -
Sam has to babysit one escaped soul's baby, and calamity ensues, on Reaper at the CW at 8 PM.

Reaper Clip and Promo:

Wednesday:

Better Off Ted -
This week Ted brings his cute little girl into the Veridian offices, and she befriends Veronica. But more importantly, what hijinks will Phil and Lem get into this week? Better Off Ted is on ABC at 8:30 PM.

Better Off Ted Veronica Promo:

Lost -
What have you done, Sayid? Surely the island won't let the Iraqi assassin off our favorite morally gray sociopath, Ben - but until then the Dharama people are pissed and looking for someone to blame. Lost is on ABC at 9 PM.

Lost Promo:

UFO Hunters -
This week, the UFO experts break down our favorite type of aliens, the Greys. Learn all about our skinny alien friends, on the History Channel at 10 PM.

Life On Mars -
The series finale of LOM is tonight, and Sam finally gets the chance to return home back to 2008. While it can't possibly top the English series finale, I'm excited to see them try. What price will American Sam have to pay to return home? LOM is on ABC at 10 PM.

Movies:

What kind of powers would an Atom bomb give someone? The H-Man attempts to answer this question by giving the main character nuclear powers, in this Japanese film set in the seedy criminal underworld. It's on at 12:30 AM on AMC.

Based on Shakespeare's The Tempest, this 50s film follows a space ship sent from earth to explore a colony of scientists sent out years earlier, only to discover all but two have perished, Forbidden Planet is on at 2 AM on TCM.

Thursday:

There is a Highlander marathon on the Syfy Channel from 8 AM until 12 AM.

Smallville -
It's a Davis-centric episode, which means more of the awesome Sam Witwer. No one else does eyes filled with evil like our Sam. And we learn more of Davis' secret past... with young Lex Luthor. Smallville is on the CW at 8 PM.

Smallville Promo

Smallville Clip:

Smallville Clip:

Supernatural -
Dean and Sam turn out to be famous comic book characters. One bath-robed comic-book writer has been making a fortune off of his Sam-and-Dean visions. But when the two boys find out he's written their life story - including an ending - they're less than thrilled. But more importantly, where is this much-vaunted naked Dean book, and how can I get it? Supernatural ever on the CW at 9 PM.

Supernatural Clip

Supernatural Promo

Supernatural Promo

Eleventh Hour

In the season finale, Hood rolls out his arched eyebrow one last time, when a woman accuses the FBI of stealing her baby, and forcibly keeping her medicated and out of the way. Say goodbye to Hood - for now - on CBS at 10 PM.

Friday:

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
I'm still a bit torn up about losing Charley Dixon. They are killing off all the characters I love on T:SCC, but at least it's been delightful at every turn. But this week puts John dangerously close to Catherine Weaver - which makes us nervous for our favorite baddie. T:SCC is on Fox at 8 PM.

T:SCC Promo:

Dollhouse -
Echo wakes up with all her memories intact - along with a few other mind-wiped vessels. But when they arise from their "floor coffins," they're no longer as willing as they used to be to serve as sex-puppet money makers. Dollhouse is on Fox at 9 PM.

Dollhouse Promo:

Saturday:

Movies:

When werewolves and vampires fall in love and make babies, they're blue things with black eyes, that can kill EVERYONE. Or at least that's the way it works in Underworld, where Kate Beckinsale fighters wear pleather catsuits, so I don't complain. Underworld at 8 PM on TNT.

Sunday:

Kings -
Loyalties are being tested again on this expensive alt-history soap opera. This week, William tries to get Jack to betray his dad, again. Meanwhile, David's loyalties are tested...also again. And Michelle has to do something with the rebels of Gath, so that's new. Kings is on NBC at 8 PM.

Movies:

DOOMSDAY is on tonight! Think of it as Mad Max meets Dragonheart meets 28 Weeks Later, with a heaping of terrible and a dollop of fantastic. When the U.K. is hit with a deadly virus, the government builds a wall around Scotland, thus sealing in the infected. But, many years later, when it starts to spread, they have to go back inside the quarantine zone and look for survivors. And let me tell you what they find is pretty amazing - think Medieval Times fantastic. Doomsday is on HBO at 2:30 AM.

Jumanji for the information age, Zathura stars Twilight's Kristen Stewart as a teenaged girl who finds herself and her brothers hurled through time and space, as a result of a board game, that's at 5:55 A.M. on TBS.

Monday:

Chuck -
Chuck must choose between his brain powers and the love of his life, when he meets the scientist who created the mind meld machine. But more importantly Caprica Six is back to salve our BSG withdrawal symptoms - see Tricia Helfer meet Chuck, on NBC at 8 PM.

Chuck Promo:

Heroes -
The hunt for Rebel continues and poor misguided Tracy may be caught in the fight for Rebel's identity and Angela has a sexy mature ladies pow wow with her old buddy played by Swoosie Kurtz. Heroes is on NBC at 9 PM.

Heroes Clip:

Heroes Promo:

Movies:

Enjoy the worlds most disgusting alien abduction scene ever, in Fire In The Sky at 6:30 PM on HBO.

Tuesday:

Still no new Fringe this week. Walter, we miss you.

Reaper -
You're right, CW, nothing is more disgusting than a bug monster in an old person's skin, unless it has a cheerleader's wig and drives around in a Val Kilmer-voiced KITT, shudder... yes, that would be more frightening. This week Sam fights a old bug monster and feels guilty about lying to a girl way too hot for him, as boys often do. Reaper is on the CW at 8 PM.

Reaper Clip

Reaper Promo

Movies:

A exoskeleton tuxedo turns an unwitting chauffeur (Jackie Chan) into a secret agent. Laughs, karate and James Brown impersonations ensue, while Jennifer Love Hewitt gets a paycheck, so good for her. The Tuxedo is on at 10 AM on TBS.

Don't you hate it when your robot gets possessed by aliens? tTotally ruins the day. See how this wee boy deals with it in the 50s classic The Invisible Boy at 2:30 PM on TCM.

Wednesday:

Better Off Ted -
Phil and Lem are back, and making fake beef for their pretty bosses. Now that we've already fallen in love with the show's little geeks, it's Portia de Rossi's time to shine as their unflinchingly cold boss. Better Off Ted is on ABC at 8:30 PM.

Better Off Ted Clip:

Better Off Ted Clip:

Better Off Ted Promo:

Lost -
Ooooh, man, who's ready for the Juliet-versus-Kate "that's my man" throw down? To hell with Sayid's problems, I see a polar-bear-cage mud-wrasslin', hair-pulling fight in the future. Lost is on ABC at 9 PM.

Lost Promo:

UFO Hunters -
If we're to believe the Race To Witch Mountain theory, then all secret government alien-related bases are actually located underground, or in a mountain. This week The UFO Hunters try and track down the base in Dulce New Mexico, on the History Channel at 10 PM.

Life On Mars -
I fear Sam will continue on with this terrible mustached undercover work as this week the apparent murders of his colleagues Skelton and Carling lead directly to his door. LOM is on ABC at 10 PM.

Movies:
Ok here's a new fun game: take a shot every time you question Kevin Spacey's judgement, when he decided to take on the role of a sunglasses-wearing alien at a psychiatric facility. KPAX is on at 10:30 AM on USA.

Thursday:

Smallville -
The ridiculously attractive Zatanna makes her curvy cameo on this week's episode of the proto-Superman series. I'm going to have to give the a tip of the top hat to CW, the top heavy character looks like she was ripped out of the comic. Z shows up and grants Chloe's birthday wish (to be more like Lois), so they switch bodies - because there is some unwritten rule in TV series that the characters have to go all Freaky Friday at least once. Smallville is on the CW at 8 PM.

Smallville Promo

Smallville Promo

Supernatural -
Dean and Sam switch roles with the cast of The Office, but here's the kicker...they have no memory of each other. But not even the cubicle walls can separate the brotherly twosome when things start going all spooky and their office mates start offing themselves. Between Dean thinking Sam is hitting on him and the bowflex in Dean's apartment, this could be my favorite Supernatural ever on the CW at 9 PM.

Supernatural Clip

Supernatural Clip

Supernatural Clip

Supernatural Promo

No new Eleventh Hour.

Friday:

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
Hooray, Charley is back - and Sarah throws Cameron and Derek in the thunder dome to see who survives. In the battle between the vacant-staring hot girl and the 90210 icon, who will win? T:SCC is on Fox at 8 PM.

T:SCC Promo:

No new Batman: The Brave And The Bold.

Dollhouse -
It's back to school for Echo, as our forgetful hero heads to her old stomping grounds to fight a deadly virus, presumably with tight pants and high kicks. As the actives fight the big bad their memories start coming back to them, which could get interesting. Dollhouse is on Fox at 9 PM.

Dollhouse Promo:

Saturday:

Movies:

13 Ghosts, not to be confused with the idiotically titled remake Thir13en Ghosts, puts a family inside a haunted house with a real life murderer. That's on at 3:45 AM, over at TCM.

Sunday:

Kings -
Jack takes David out on a man-date, where Jack tries to dirty up his image with some harmless drug usage and open mouthed kissing. Meanwhile, in the other part of the kingdom, the son Silas really loves is sick. Kings is on NBC at 8 PM.

Movies:

A mysterious cone lands in Illinois filled with creatures that latch onto humans and seize power. Apparently this movie was adapted without permission from the author of the book with the same plot, and lawyer visits ensued. But I'm intrigued as to how The Brain Eater aliens "distorted" the men - view the classic film at 4 AM on AMC.

Monday:

No new Chuck this week.

Kyle XY -
It's the last Kyle XY ever. So say goodbye to the cute confused super-boy and his Sound Of Music foster family, The Tragers. In this final episode, Kyle discovers Latnok's evil plan. So the Trager family combines to form Voltron, and together they stamp out the evil corporation with their cat hands. But more importantly who will Kyle pick for his genius-baby love-seed: Amanda or Jessi? Kyle XY is on ABC Family at 9 PM.

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Clip

Kyle XY Promo

No new Heroes this week.

Movies:
Enhanced action figures come to life, thanks to modern technology, and say things like, "I love the smell of polyurethane in the morning." Small Soldiers is on TBS at 10 AM.

Tuesday:

There is an early morning Dark Angel marathon running on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM to 2 PM, if you can't wait until Friday to get your fill of ass-kicking ladies in tight pants.

No new Fringe this week.

Reaper -
Ben starts dating Nina — you know, the Demon that tried to kill Sam. But she's really hot and funny, in the way that reminds my of Anya so please keep her around. Reaper is on the CW at 8 PM.

Reaper Clip

Reaper Promo

Movies:

One of the top ten science fiction comedies of all time (in my book), Galaxy Quest, is on TBS at 10 AM today. Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Alan Rickman, Tony Shalhoub and Sam Rockwell find out their canceled Star Trek rip-off series has been recreated in space, thanks to an alien race.

Wednesday:

Better Off Ted -
The lovely Portia de Rossi and Jay Harrington run the slightly but comically corrupt company Veridian Dynamics in research and development. Where the two make sheep and weaponize pumpkins. It's pretty adorable, and hopefully very successful because we're in dire need of some actually funny scifi. Better Off Ted is on ABC at 8:30 PM.

Veridian Dynamics Promo:

Better Off Ted Promo:

Lost -
The gang is back, and Sawyer has to be all Con man smartypants again to figure out how to juggle two girlfriends and keep his new Dharma buddies from executing Kate, Jack, Ben, Locke, Hurley, Ben and Sun ....yeah that's about it. Let them kill the new characters — I'm not really invested in them yet.

Lost Clip:

Lost Clip:

Lost Promo:

UFO Hunters -
Get to the bottom of the giant triangle-shaped things that appeared overhead in Sonora, California. Aliens, or just giant floating triangles?

This is what they are talking about:

Life On Mars -
Sam dives once more into the funny mustache closet. This week, he's going undercover as a truck hijacker and needs to infiltrate a gang. LOM is on ABC at 10 PM.

Movies:

Here's a fun game: take a drink every time Halle Berry makes you wince, in Catwoman on AMC at 8 PM.

Thursday:

Smallville -
Clark gets stuck between a rock and a hard place, when Tess tries to con him into using his powers by wrecking their jet plane. In other Smallvillian news, Chloe is all understanding of Davis' "mood swings" and her beau is not. Smallville is on the CW at 8 PM.

Smallville Promo

Smallville Clip

Supernatural -
Castiel and the brothers get the angel killer in chains, now Dean gets to show everyone what he's learned in hell. Oh and I think Castiel may get to kick a little ass in this, and maybe emote a bit into the bargain. Supernatural is on the CW at 9 PM.

Supernatural Clip

Supernatural Promo

Supernatural Promo

No new Eleventh Hour.

Movies:

So who's the better magician: the rich Hugh Jackman, who convinces David Bowie to build him a devious device, or Christian Bale, the man who really knows how to keep secrets? The Prestige is on FX at 8 PM.

Friday:

There is an all day Battlestar Galactica marathon running on the Sci Fi Channel, as well there should be. I suspect people will be boarding up shops and schools will be closing down as well, to mark this momentous occasion.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
The second half of this two-parter episode lets us all know what's in the box, and why it made that incredibly hot, but crazy, lady come back from the future. T:SCC is on Fox at 8 PM.

T:SCC Promo:

Batman: The Brave And The Bold -
Jason Blood is framed for crimes committed by Gentleman Ghost, on the Cartoon Network at 8 PM.

Star Wars: Clone Wars -
Meet Cad Bane: apparently, he's the worst of the worst of all the bounty hunters and is going to kill all of the clones. He takes some hostages, and it's up to Anakin to save the day. Oh, and the TV Guide says Ziro is back in this episode to which I say, fantastic because everyone should start their weekend with gay Hutt! The finale of the Clone Wars is on Cartoon Network at 9 PM.

Star Wars: Clone Wars Promo:

Star Wars: Clone Wars Promo:

Star Wars: Clone Wars Promo:

And Just For Fun, Here's Ziro Again:

Dollhouse -
Patton Oswalt guest stars as an internet mogul who purchases Echo's brain. Echo plays the part of perfect housewife to Oswalt's meek internet persona (get it? Internet=nerd). Meanwhile, Sierra shrieks and Helo yells and throws a chair. That's great and all, but where's Alpha? "Man On The Street" is on Fox at 9 PM.

Dollhouse Promo:

Dollhouse Clip (skip ahead to 5:36 if you don't want to here Kimmel yammering):

Battlestar Galactica -
This is it: two hours of total Galactica-versus-Cylon action. Some will die, some will live (I'm guessing) and maybe, just maybe, we'll get some sort of conclusion out of this long five year journey towards Cylon-self discovery (Earth no longer being an option). BSG is on the Sci Fi Channel at 9 PM because it's two hours keeds.

BSG Promo:

Saturday:

Movies:

Go back to the classics with Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi on Spike at 8 PM, just close your eyes whenever the "new and improved" CG pops up on screen.

Sunday:

Kings -
Now that the little country-mouse has told Ian McShane that he ain't no redneck bitch, let's see what happens. What will the city-mouse girlfriend princess and the gaydilocks prince have to say about their new adopted brother, now that Silas has marked him out as the favorite? The second episode of Kings is on NBC at 8 PM.

Movies:

What would you do if you were forced to repeat the same day over and over again, like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day? Me, I would probably reenact Groundhog Day in its entirety. The movie is on FX at 12 AM.

Monday:

The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
Sarah and Cameron have to protect Derek's past family. But of course the family doesn't really believe them until Cameron takes a round of bullets to the chest and doesn't flinch. Then they start listening. The new Sarah Connor Chronicles is on 8 PM on Fox.

TSCC Promo:

TSCC Clip:

TSCC: Clip:

Chuck -
Find out why Sarah's con-man daddy (the fabulous Gary Cole) was in prison and watch Sarah move heaven and hell to help him get out of trouble from his last big con. Also there appears to be a Delorean in this episode somewhere. Because Chuck, if you haven't figured it out yet from NBC bludgeoning you over the head about it, is a GEEK. "Chuck Versus the Delorean" is on NBC at 8 PM.

Chuck Promo:

Heroes -
Hiro and Claire time-travel around, leaning about how Noah got the baby cheerleader from Kaito Nakamura, but I'm sure none of this temporal meddling will change the present a bit. Oh and there's yet another climatic fight that we've all been waiting for. Heroes, the show with no real consequences, is on 9 PM on NBC.

Heroes Clip:

Heroes Promo:

My Own Worst Enemy -
Nobody can get along this week, over at Christian Slater's magical super secret agent spy agency. Mavis and Alistair (real names) are arguing about how to rescue these hostages that Edward and Raymond found in Angola. Then Dr. Skinner (not the yellow-faced principal from The Simpsons, mind you, but a lady) is called in about her relationship with Edward. My Own Worst Enemy is on NBC at 10 PM. Watch if you dare.

Gundam 00 -
One full hour of mecha madness on the Sci Fi Channel from 11 PM until 12.

Movies:

Get a glimpse of a young Winona Ryder before she went all crazy. She's paired with a super emo Johnny Depp in Edward Scissorhands, on HBO at 1 PM.

Tuesday:

There is a Tales From The Darkside marathon on the Sci Fi Channel from 6 AM until 2:30 PM.

No new Fringe this week.

The Universe -
Curious to see the faces of our interstellar alien friends? Well, check out The Universe at 9 PM on The History Channel.

The Universe Promo:

Movies:

The Librarian: The Curse of the Judas Chalice — or National Treasure for dummies — is on TNT at 7 PM.

AMC has its usual scifi round up of sweaty chested lovelies Matthew McConaughey and Christian Bale getting all hot and bothered over dragons in Reign Of Fire at 8 PM, followed by more intense action with Terminator 2 on 10 PM.

Wednesday:

There's a Special Unit 2 marathon on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM until 3 PM. Wait, you don't remember Special Unit 2? Let me refresh your memory, rocking guitar opener and all:

Pushing Daisies -
Olive leads the team to crack the mysterious murder of the lighthouse keeper, and Ned has to deal with the sudden appearance of Chuck's Pappy and all his creepy bandages. Pushing Daisies is on ABC at 8 PM.

Pushing Daisies Promo:

No new Knight Rider this week.

UFO Hunters -
This week, let's crack the whole mystery behind the Arizona lights. Apparently there's been a bit of a situation with light/alien/just-a-plane activity in the Arizona skies. The new episode is on The History Channel at 10 PM.

Here's a news report about when UFO Hunters came to Phoenix:

UFO Hunter Promo:

Movies:

TCM is having a fabulous day of scifi specials. The Cat People are taking over at 6 AM, followed with Return Of The Cat People at 7:30 — and this classic movie is dayum scary especially when you can hear the cat person nom, noming it's prey. But for serious, it's scary.

At 12:30 and 2 PM, TCM will fill you up with evil children with Village of the Damned first, followed by Children Of The Damned.

2001: A Space Odyssey classic will be appearing at 3:30 PM on TCM, and at 6 PM there's 2010.

Thursday:

No new Smallville this week.

No new Supernatural this week.

No new Life On Mars this week.

No new Eleventh Hour this week.

Testees -

This week on Testees, the boys lose the ability to feel pain. So Ron becomes a daredevil, and Peter a boy toy for a dominatrix. "Mr. Pain and Danger Lad" are on Fox FX at 11 PM.

Movies:

Go crazy with board game fantasy and that hairy comic that talks really fast, when some poor children get sucked into a violent board game called Jumanji at 1 AM on TNT.

Embrace John Carpenter's wonder before they remake it into crap, with The Thing on the Sci Fi Channel at 7 PM.

Friday:

Batman: The Brave And The Bold -
Batman gets into the holiday spirit, bringing a bad Santa who's on a crime spree to justice. Batman is on Cartoon Network at 8 PM.

Clone Wars -
Finally, it's all Grievous all the time, or at least that's what I'm hoping this week's Clone Wars turns out to be, it's all about his Lair. To which I wonder: how does Grievous decorate his lair? Does he have a smoking room, or a pool? What about a balcony? This week on the Cartoon Network at 9 PM, we shall finally see.

"Lair Of Grievous" Behind The Scenes:

General Grievous Jam:

Stargate Atlantis -
Off with her head, or something close like it. This week Jewel Staite gets involved in a case of mistaken identity. So if Dr. Keller dies, does this mean I can have McKay? Because I'd be okay with that. Stargate Atlantis which has only THREE episodes left, will be on the Sci Fi Channel at 9 PM.

(editor's note: sorry I confused this weeks with last weeks, when clearly this last Friday's was "Infection" and this is "Identity.")

Stargate Promo:

Sanctuary -
This week the monster kids are tracking down a secret fight club where the people battle to the death. You know like Fight Club, only not cool in the slightest. The new Sanctuary is on 10 PM on the Sci Fi Channel.

Movies:

ABC family is premiering The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe. Check out James McAvoy as the little fawn, Mr. Tumnus, before he got all Wanted hot (I preferred the shirtless goat-scarf look, to be honest). The movie will air at 6 PM and 9:30 PM.

Tumnus!

Saturday:

Movies:
Get bouncy with Flubber at 9:40 AM on TBS.

Sunday:

Movies:

One of the best Disney scifi movies ever is The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, staring Kurt Russell. Please do enjoy this clip — it's on 12 PM on TCM.

Monday:

Heroes -
The eclipse is still going and all 1,000 cast members are rallying for the big moment where they find out if they'll lose their powers forever and ever. I'm on the side of no. The second half of "The Eclipse" two-parter is at 9 PM on NBC.

Heroes Clip:

Heroes Promo:

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
What's the sexy glazed-eyed Summer Glau bot do all night whilst the Connor family is asleep? My guess is, robot clubbing. The new TSCC is on 8 PM at Fox.

TSCC Promo:

Chuck -
The best part of Chuck is being revisited this week: Captain Awesome's parents come to town. Let the high-fiving flow like the river Jordan. Plus we get to meet Casey's mentor. Chuck is on NBC at 8 PM.

Chuck Promo:

Chuck clips:

My Own Worst Enemy -
Our split-personality hero is still trying to find out who murdered his parents. Will he figure it out before the show ends forever? My Own Worst Enemy is on NBC at 10 PM.

Gundam 00 -
Get your mecha madness fix, with a double showing of Gundam 00 (season one) over on the Sci Fi Channel at 11 PM.

Tuesday:

Fringe -
This week on the Walter and Peter Bishop variety hour, Olivia meets a man that gets stuck walking through a wall and starts to lose her damn mind with all her ex-boyfriend's memories all floatin' around in her noggin. Fringe is on Fox at 9 PM.

Fringe Promo:

Wednesday:

There's an early morning Twilight Zone marathon starting at 8 AM with "He's Alive" on the Sci Fi Channel.

Pushing Daisies -
It's a battle of tasty wits on Pushing Daisies, as Ned and Olive try and win the comfort food competition. Until the chef is found dead. Was it the waffle nazi? Pushing Daisies is on ABC at 8 PM.

Pushing Daisies Promo:

UFO: Hunters -
Everything you've ever wanted to know about the little green men that landed in the desert near Roswell, New Mexico, will all be explained — including whether there was a second crash. Tune into UFO: Hunters on The History Channel at 10 PM.

UFO Promo

No Knight Rider this week.

Movies:
Watch one family try to pick up the pieces 28 weeks after the rage virus destroyed England. But of course, nothing will go according to plan. 28 Weeks Later is on 3 PM on Cinemax.

Thursday:

No new Smallville this week.

No new Supernatural this week.

No new Life On Mars this week.

Eleventh Hour -
Hood uses his smarts in Oklahoma to uncover why all of the students are dying of the bends (the scuba related condition, not the Radiohead album which is equally as relevant, since they're at a college). Eleventh Hour is on CBS at 10 PM.

Testees -
This week on Testees the human lab rats test out chastity belts which mean they can't have sex for a week. Which if you've seen the show, probably shouldn't be that big of a problem. "Abstinence Underwear" is on FX at 11 PM.

Movies:

Stamp your feet and hold your breath until daddy finally ponies up for that golden goose, when ABC Family screens Charlie And The Chocolate Factory at 6 PM.

All three Dinotopia's are back-to-back over at the Sci Fi Channel starting at 11 PM, and if you didn't know how to make a dinosaur-pulled cart before, you will now.

Friday:

Stargate Atlantis -
It's Jewel Staite's chance to act like a sexy prison-lady when Dr. Keller's consciousness gets swapped with a criminal's. It's about time this show got around to a body/brain swapping story. Stargate Atlantis is on 9 PM on the Sci Fi Channel.

Sanctuary -
This week Amanda Tapping's monster hunters head underwater, and into more trouble. Sanctuary is on 10 PM on the Sci Fi Channel.

Batman: The Brave And The Bold -
Batman teams up with the fish man himself — Aquaman — and they get to fight Ocean Master and Black Manta. Underwater squee! B&B is on Cartoon Network at 8 PM.

Clone Wars -
Sorry we got the episodes confused last week but this is the week that the baby jedi fights! Ahsoka is under attack on Star Wars: The Clone Wars and she has to fight with Luminara to protect their prisoner, Nute Gunray. Fight, baby Jedi, fight, on the Cartoon Network at 9 PM.

Ben 10: Alien Task Force is on 9:30 PM on the Cartoon Network.

Movies:
Smear your face with mud and set fire to your house, 'cause Predator is on at 11:30 PM on HBO.

Saturday:

Movies:
Didn't think Helena Bonham Carter could get any creepier? Check out Tim Burton's The Planet of The Apes remake on FX at 2 P. 2:00.

Sunday:

Movies:
Travel to the depths of the ocean right quick, before Hollywood remakes this technicolor classic with Mel Gibson voicing the giant squid. 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea is on 4 PM on TCM.