We've been debating on our site endlessly: Is Doctor Who a kids' program?

Yes. Debate over. It's good to fix those things quickly.

Even though it has a huge adult following? It's not aimed at both?

It's aimed at kids and adults. And why should anyone care about this? If you watch it, then it's for you. It shouldn't matter. I mean the specific thing about it being a children's program, is that it follows the imperatives and narrative rules and the joy of children's fiction. If you watch Doctor Who at 9 pm at night [as you do in the United States] it's going to seem a bit odd. It's energetic. The Doctor walks straight out of the TARDIS and into trouble, and you accept it. The Master becomes Prime Minister of Britain, and you accept it. It's got all the brio and vigor of Harry Potter, Narnia and Star Wars. That doesn't mean it doesn't appeal to adults. Star Wars, the most successful film franchise ever, is explicitly for children, but adults love it. Doctor Who is my favorite thing in the world. If you're in Britain, we'll show you the sticker books [and] the lunchboxes. In the schoolyard on Monday, they're all talking about Doctor Who. That doesn't mean it's childish. It's very sophisticated.

And of course England has a tradition of children's literature that's quite nasty, like Roald Dahl.

It's naughty... It's all fear. death and screaming women. It's innocent people being melted in the first 5 minutes of every episode. Why should there be a debate? If they watch it, it's their program. We're very happy they watch it [but] every single one of them would enjoy it more if they watched it with an eight-year-old. You really see it then... Literally, the whole family sits down to watch Doctor Who: mum and dad, granddad, the two kids... Mum's fancying David Tennant, dad's thinking the spaceships are really cool, the granddad is saying it was better when it was William Hartnell.... and they're all thinking it's aimed at them.

Have you seen Wall-E?

I haven't seen Wall-E. It looks fantastic.

I was really blown away by it. It's a kid's movie, but it deals with some incredibly weighty issues.

The misconception about children's ficition is that it's lightweight or fluffy. It's about really big and important things. It's adults who like light and fluffy. Everything is big and imprtant to a child, [so] their stories are about big and important events.

When the show re-launched, original showrunner Russell T. Davies talked about being influenced by Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Is the show still being influenced by Buffy?

I think when you start on a show like that... You are looking around [for things to compare it to]. Where does it sit now? What is like this now? What can I give as an example of this? Buffy is a good example: it's young-skewed, adventurous, funny and irreverent. But the moment you start making the show, you stop thinking of Buffy [and] you start thinking of Doctor Who. Doctor Who is a huge, fantastic, important show now.

So are there any shows happening now that you're more influenced by?

[You watch things, and inevitably you're influenced by things you like.] A show like Doctor Who has always been eclectic and kleptomaniac. You start grabbing bits of shows. Doctor Who switches shows all the time. You want to do a bank robbery episode of Doctor Who? You can do a bank robbery episode of Doctor Who.

So are we going to get something off the wall, like a bank robbery episode, in season five?

I won't say much about series five. It's two years off. Even giving tantalizing hints, those things will become so old. [People would be analyzing and debating them to death.] In two years [when] series five comes out, I want it to be the freshest thing in the world.

I won't ask for series five spoilers then. Except, any chance we'll be seeing River Song again?

The Doctor will certainly see her, and we know he will some day. But as to whether we will? (Shrugs)

So speaking of River Song, one of the most intriguing things in your recent two-parter was all the mentions of the future super-Doctor, who can open the TARDIS by snapping his fingers. Is that a sign of things to come?

If you've got a bluetooth key for your car, you can practically do that anyway. Having the Doctor be able to open his door [by snapping] is not a big deal. You've seen him change his face. What's really important to Doctor Who — I was discussing this with Russell the other day — is that he's got the biggest gob in the universe, and [he can talk people into anything]. Underneath it all, he's a bloke. He 's a man. He's just a man with a time machine who is brilliant at convincing people of things... and it's a great bluff. When [River Song] whispers his name in his ear, he freaks, and you see him collapse back into himself, and [into] being just a bloke. David Tennant does a brilliant job. David shows him [building back up] and shouldering the burden of being the Doctor again. He's the man who never gives up, and that's his super-power.

But there are hints in other episodes of the Doctor being sort of a god. And in the end of that Paul Cornell two-parter last year, we see him inflicting these godlike super-punishments on people, freezing them or trapping them in mirrors.

You see a very collapsed version of those events. He does things. He's not magic... It would be a very boring legend if you discovered that, at the center of it, it's actually a legend. You want it to be a legend about a man. It becomes dramatically interesting, because he is a man. I'm surprised people are worried about that. There's a lot, in the rest of the series, where we play a very human Doctor. He's prone to jealousies, he's prone to falling in love, his heart can be broken. And he's thinking, "How can i keep doing this?"

Speaking of Paul Cornell, he wrote a Doctor Who internet audio starring Richard E. Grant called "Scream Of The Shalka," where we see a Doctor who's much more weary and self-loathing. Will we ever see that side of the Doctor on television?

I shouldn't think that. I don't think that's something that we could sell to a mainstream audience, a Doctor who loathes himself. A bitter, sad Doctor. You're not going to get the audience for that. You want to think, this man is having the best life ever. This is not a piece of art-house cinema. You get glimpses of the great sadness and the loneliness, [but] that's just the occasional colour. [Even in the "Shalka" storyline, it was just an arc within that story.] Most of the time he's going to be running and running.

You're obviously influenced by the Peter Davison era, and you wrote "Time Crash," where he met David Tennant's Doctor. How does that inform your approach to a more human Doctor?

I really enjoyed Peter's Doctor. I said sometimes, he's underrated as the Doctor — although not after "Time Crash," that's for sure. I think he's a brilliant Doctor... He paved the way for the younger, more reckless Doctors... He is the [first] modern Doctor... [Before Davison], he was always the father figure, and suddenly the Doctor became your reckless mate... The Doctor always doesn't know what he's doing, he just hopes he can get away with it.

So for now we're seeing a human side of the Doctor, but are we eventually going to see him turning into the super-Doctor River Song describes? Maybe in series ten?

He's an incredible man, and we want him to do things that seem like magic. How must it have seemed to the court of Versailles, when he crashed through the mirror on a horse? How must it have looked to them? [Whereas] we know there was a horse on the spaceship, and there was a portal, and it was a trick.

Your episodes of Doctor Who are among the scariest, and you also worked on the fantastic Jekyll. What are your horror influences?

I'll be honest. The horror influence on me is Doctor Who. I haven't watched a lot of scary movies. I watched The Ring, that's bloody terrifying. Gareth Roberts, who wrote "The Unicorn And The Wasp," has a theory: You write Doctor Who as you remember it. He remembers it as funny and clever, so he writes that kind of Doctor Who. I remember it as being scary.

In the Batman comics, the idea that Batman creates his own villains used to be a subversive undercurrent, but recently it's become more like the official story. Similarly, there's the idea that the Doctor creates more problems than he solves, and he's a destructive force. This comes up in the most recent season finale, with Davros saying the Doctor dare not look back at the damage he's caused. Is this view of the Doctor becoming more prevalent?

I would hate that to be true. I think that's Davros winding him up. I want to think the universe is held in balance by this one good man. I think he does more than that, he inspires people to great acts of heroes of heroism. That's what Davros sees, becuase he's a mean-spirirted old twat, but the Doctor is more special and lovely than that.

One of the great innovations of the Russell T. Davies era was the idea of the companion being connected to her home and family, and keeping the family as a supporting cast. How do you keep that fresh with a succession of new companions?

You change everything, all the time. Even that element of the show has changed radically over the past four years... You don't worry about doing things radically, in an a new way... [You] do what tells the story... It was very important that Rose, Jackie and Mickey were clear, developed characters. [When the show started] the Doctor was a ridiculous guide. [Audiences didn't] understand who he is and what he's supposed to be. But [now] it's very different, because the Doctor is the most familiar character in the show. [Originally] we knew Rose much better than the Doctor, and now we know the Doctor better than we know Rose. And now we see Rose from the Doctor's point of view, instead of seeing the Doctor from Rose's point of view. You have to stay alive and stay lively, and Doctor Who is about change. Change is part of Doctor Who's formula. It must change.

Tonight

As usual, The Middleman is your main reason for owning one of those televisual devices. This time around, M.M. and his sidekick/protagonist Wendy Watson deal with a boy band that may actually be from another planet. And the tween girl who's obsessed with them. It's on ABC Family at 10 PM, and here's a trailer:

The History Channel is trying to cash in on your lingering Bat-mania from the weekend of the Bat, showing a new documentary called Batman Tech, all about "Batman's amazing array of gadgets":

Since his debut in DC Comics in 1939, Batman has dazzled readers with an amazing array of bat gadgets. Viewers will go deep inside the Batcave to examine these incredible tools—many of them inspired by amazing real-life military developments. Discover just how close they come to real-life technology.

That's at 9 PM, and it's followed by reruns of Batman Unmasked: The Psychology Of The Dark Knight, and Star Wars Tech. Also you probably have Batman Begins on Blu-ray now, but just in case you don't, FX is showing it from 5 to 8 tonight.

Movies: Encore is showing Contact, featuring Jodie Foster and her creepy space dad, at 12:45 Tuesday morning. And then at three in the morning, Sci Fi is showing Aberration, a TV movie about reptillian predators with a taste for human flesh. Mmm mmm crispy.

Tuesday

The Sci Fi Channel is having a marathon of Level 9 during the day. It's a whole show about that band, the one that sang "There must be something about you, Ooooh baby, so right...." Oh no wait, it's about a secret government agency that investigates spooky stuff. On the Interwebz.

And Gillian Anderson is on the Tonight Show, plugging the new X-Files movie.

Movies: At three A.M. Wednesday morning, TCM is showing The Man From Planet X, about a corrupt scientist who wants to use an extraterrestrial visitor against Earth. That's followed at 4:30 by Riders To The Stars, about scientists who want to snare a meteor to study cosmic rays.

Wednesday

Your TV screen pretty much belongs to PBS on Wednesday night: First there's a new Nova ScienceNow, that anthology series which tackles a bunch of scientific issues in one hour. This time, topics include "the wonderful world of leeches," the search for extraterrestrial intelligent life (SETI), embryonic stem cell research without embryos, and marine bioluminescence deep in the ocean. And here's a video podcast about SETI: And then after that, there are a couple of new episodes of Click & Clack's As The Wrench Turns, one of the most bizarre radio spin-offs in history. It's an animated version of NPR's cult Car Talk show, about mechanics who diagnose car problems over the phone. It's been critically panned, but you know critics are always wrong anyway. And storylines include the guys creating a robotic car-repair machine, which eliminates repetitive labor but also consumes so much energy it causes a blackout in the Northeast. Here's a clip, which honestly doesn't look that promising. But hey, it's the guys from Car Talk!

The Sci Fi Channel is having an Outer Limits marathon all day. But I have a feeling it'll be the 1990s and 2000s Limits, not the classic version.

Movies: Encore is showing the original Mad Max at 2:15. If the fourth Mad Max ever finally gets made, you'll want to have fresh memories of the movie that made Mel Gibson sort of cool.

Thursday

Brandon "Superman" Routh stars in a new episode of horror anthology series Fear Itself on NBC at 11. It's directed by Mary Harron (American Psycho) and written by Kelly Kennemeier. It's called "Community," and here's the synopsis:

When a young, married couple find the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood, their lives seem to be following the "American Dream". The dream slowly turns into a nightmare when they discover their new neighbors would go to any extreme to make sure the happy couple complies with their twisted sense of conformity.

There's a new Burn Notice at 11 PM on USA. Michael tries to stop a con man by posing as the perfect mark in this spy-gadget show, featuring Bruce Campbell and Tricia Helfer.

Get ready for X-Files: I Want To Believe by watching a marathon of X-Files episodes all day on the Sci Fi Channel. And then in the evening, Sci Fi has four episodes of Jeremiah, J. Michael Straczynski's short-lived Showtime series about a post-apocalyptic world where almost everybody has been wiped out by a plague.

Also, David Duchovny is on Letterman Thursday night, possibly plugging an upcoming movie. We want to believe it'll be interesting.

Movies: At 11 PM, Sci Fi has an original movie called Alien Apocalypse. Catchy title, hey? And then stay up until 4:30 Friday morning, and you'll be rewarded by seeing The Brain Eaters, about hairy creatures from the center of the Earth that latch onto people's necks. Yeah! That's on AMC.

Friday

The Sci Fi Channel has its usual unbeatable Friday night lineup. First at 9, there's the penultimate episode of time travel soap comedy Doctor Who's fourth season, "The Stolen Earth." Without giving too much away, the planet Earth has gone somewhere else, and it ties in to the warning the Doctor received at the end of last week's episode. And there are some familiar faces (friendly, unfriendly and in-between) coming back. Here's a clip:
And then at 10 PM, there's a new Stargate Atlantis, "Broken Ties," which centers around Ronon, and leads to the loss of his signature dreadlocks. (Noooo!) Oh yeah, and he goes through a horrific ordeal. Here's a trailer, which shows off some of Ronon's amazing acting skillz:

Also, there's the season finale (and maybe series finale?) of Speed Racer: The Next Generation, the latest in a long line of attempts to update the classic cartoon. In "Honor Code," Speed, Jr. faces expulsion from the race-car driver school, because it appears he's cheated. (On a car test??) It's on NToon at 7 PM. Has anybody actually been watching this show?

Movies: At three A.M. Saturday morning, Sci Fi has Spiders 2, about a mad doctor breeding giant arachnids aboard a ship. Did you miss the original Spiders? Somehow I bet this movie will make just as much sense in either case.

Saturday

It doesn't look like there's a new Ben 10: Alien Force, or any other cartoons, on Saturday.

Movies: At 9 AM, Spike has GoldenEye, one of the most science fictional James Bond movies of all time, about a killer satellite. TBS is showing Men In Black II twice, at 8 PM and 9:45 PM. And all day and all night, the Sci Fi Channel is showing movies with titles like King Cobra and Komodo Vs. Cobra and Snake King and Anaconda 3. It's snake day!

Sunday

There's a new Venture Bros. episode at 11:30 PM, "Now Museum, Now You Don't." As usual, there's not much info available about the episode in advance, but you can tune into the Cartoon Network to find out more.

The Sci Fi Channel is showing a marathon of Eureka all day, to get you ready for the show's third season, debuting Tuesday, July 29. Refresh your memories of the town full of zany science geniuses.

Who could forget the first time McKay raised a finger to precious Carter? Classic. But even though they fight, you know they love each other, and I love the back and forth banter. Here's why I enjoy his little character nuances.

He's The Most Annoying When He's Nervous, And That's Endearing:

Season 5 episode 1 of Stargate Atlantis shoved McKay into a tight spot when he's forced to deliver Teyla's baby. He immediately starts yammering and comparing her birth to a kidney stone — oh McKay, you idiot. But he figures it out and gets all little-kid excited because he caught the baby in the end. Cute — not hilarious, but kind of stupidly endearing. He cares, and he makes up stupid examples when he's nervous.

He's The Everyman Stuck In A World Of Warriors:

McKay isn't the leader Sheppard, or the muscle by any means. What he's got is his wit and brains (which often fail to be useful as well, because Carter is perfect). When bad things happen to McKay, we see what would happen to an actual person with flaws. Not everyone can get impaled by debris and skip surgery to go save their girlfriends — some of us need a little rest. Oh yeah and he makes fun of Sheppard's hair, which is hilarious.

We Weren't Supposed To Like Him In SG-1:

McKay is like a fine wine, he gets better with age. When he was brought on SG-1, he was supposed to be a thorn in everyones side. But look how much he's grown. In the beginning, he told everyone they were wrong, and now he takes a back seat and helps out. That's growth, people — real-life character development.

Plus it was about time somebody gave Carter a little bit of grief, everything was always too easy for her. McKay was an important antagonist that needed to be added.

He's Us If We Lived In The Pegasus Galaxy, Both Good And Bad:

Take it for what he is, the man's got flaws but it's what makes him believable. Almost everything he does is on par with how my friends and I would act if we discovered a way to make a personal force field. We'd shoot at each other and joke about being indestructible.

Surely if we have room in our hearts for by-the-book Richard Woolsey we have room for a slowly-growing-into-maturity McKay.

Says JMS:

B5 as a five year story stands beautifully on its own. If anything else is to be continued from that story, it should be something that adds to the legacy of B5, rather than subtracts from it.

As well intentioned as [TV movie Legend of the] Rangers and TLT were, as enticing as it was to return to those familiar waters, in the end I think they did more to subtract from the legacy than add to it. I don't regret having made them, because I needed to go through that to get to the point where I am now psychologically, but from where I sit now, I wouldn't make them again.

So, no more DVDs, TV movies or "small computer games." But JMS does leave the door open, in the unlikely event that someone wanted to make a big-budget Babylon 5 movie. (But he discourages fan letter-writing campaigns, which seldom work in cases like these.) There's also another possibility. At Wondercon, in February, fans asked JMS about doing B5 comics, now that he's moving over to DC Comics. His answer: "Maybe." Which, you know, isn't "no." [JMSNews, thanks to Whitworthian]

Here's the synopsis:

Eleven-year-old Maia can see the future, and she’s never wrong. So when she has a vision of Mount Rainier starting to erupt, the National Threat Assessment Command takes her warning very seriously. But to track down the unknown returnee who may trigger the volcanic eruption, NTAC agents Tom Baldwin and Diana Skouris must uncover the astounding truth behind one of the greatest unsolved crimes of the twentieth century….

And they’ve got competition. Ruthless enemies are working against them and somehow managing to keep one step ahead of the desperate agents. With the future closing in on them, Tom and Diana must foil a lethal conspiracy — before Seattle and the entire Pacific Northwest go the way of ancient Pompeii.

The book's available now on Amazon.com and in bookstores. [Slice Of Scifi]

You won't have to watch the first three episodes to understand episode four, Abrams promised. The show will have an overall storyline and an "endgame," and there will be arcs. But individual episodes should stand alone. And Abrams will be heavily involved in the show, writing scripts and doing rewrites when necessary, especially where "arc" episodes are involved.

Separately, the show's producers insist they didn't put the pilot episode online on purpose, and the final version will be somewhat different. They also explained why the pilot was shot in Toronto (as Boston), but the series is being shot in New York (as Boston): tax incentives. [THR Feed and 660 News]

The main character of "Going Postal," the online miniseries, has the superpower of making your brain bleed with his super-scream. He runs up against a powdery-looking bad guy who is a "Constrictor" — and that's the point where Marvel dials up their lawyers. But first our poor postal hero gets cornered by a puppy and tries to reason with the mutt about how this whole scenario is cliche, before yelling at the dog and using his powers of loudness to scare the dog off.

Posty is then cornered by nameless man in a suit (obviously the Company) and the suit's bald and pasty companion who writhes and wiggles around like an idiot. Did they let someone's kid direct this? "You're the Constrictor! Wiggle around like a snake!" Of course, the snake-man gets postal guy in a headlock and crazy camera angles ensue. Unfortunately, it never actually looks like pale guy is hurting our mailman hero, merely lovingly hugging him. Hug harder, snake guy!

Mailman escapes by yelling very loudly at the suit, whose ears start to bleed. Then the suit pulls out a gun: why didn't they use that in the first place?

The segment ends with an awesome piece of product placement for Sprint, one of the web series' sponsors. Especially since half the time when you watch the webisodes, it starts with the Sprint ad that makes fun of product placement with a fake movie that's all product placement, it's great how the camera lingers breathlessly over the Constrictor's Sprint phone. The takeaway message: If you're going to murder a man's loved ones to try and turn him into a tool of your evil Company, use a Sprint phone. And then the pale man slinks off, walking in some twisted parody of a snake-person.

[NBC Going Postal]

Reasons your future self will be mad at you if you're not watching The Middleman now:

1) The characters have conflict without hating each other or being drama queens. And they're likeable. Really. I know, it's hard to imagine. When trainee superhero Wendy Watson lets her boss, the Middleman, down, he gives her a really sweet talk about how sometimes you have to follow your emotions and it's okay. The characters all insult each other, but you can tell they like each other, which is rarer than it should be. (Except for Ada, the robot secretary, who seems to hate everybody for reals.) The two leads, Natalie Morales and Matt Keeslar, manage to be likable, obnoxious, clever and dumb all at once. It's like watching a master class. Plus they're both as cute as buttons. (Okay, I'm shallow.) Keeslar is like a young Bruce Campbell sometimes, making his ridiculously square milk-drinking character seem the hippest person in the room.

2) It's actually funny. I don't know why this is, but most attempts at doing "funny" science fiction on U.S. television fall flat for me. Like the Sci Fi Channel's Eureka, which always seems a little too cute and full of pizzicato violins signifying "wackiness." But The Middleman is the rare scifi comedy that actually has humor, both through crackling dialog ("A man asked me that question once. I kicked his male reproductive organs into his watch pocket. Now he must check the time whenever he wishes to copulate") and through bizarre situations like Wendy assaulting a robot interrogation practice dummy. It's both witty and silly, without giving itself a sprained eye tendon from winking too much.

3) It's got a nice Men In Black vibe. In last week's episode, we learned that there are alien refugees living on Earth among us, disguising themselves as rich plastic surgery victims to explain their weird features. And our heroes aren't here to mess with the aliens, but to protect them and keep their secret for them. The world isn't just full of monsters and genetically modified gorilla gangsters trying to destroy everything, there are plenty of aliens and weird creatures who are neutral or good. And MM and Wendy, our heroes, are privy to this whole secret world in the process of saving it. It makes you want to know more.

4) Each episode is just crammed with stuff. Each of the show's episodes so far has had an engaging "A" plot, with some fun "B" plots involving Wendy's flighty roommate Lacey or her butthead ex-boyfriend Ben. There's always at least one or two fun twists, like Wendy having to fly down to Mexico to rescue the Middleman and their teacher, Sensei Ping from a ton of Mexican wrestlers who are using a perfect diamond to create an unbreakable force field inside a pyramid. That thing that so many shows do ineptly, where there's a big A plot and a personal B plot, really works here. I care equally about Wendy's work life and personal life and am happy to see them intersect.

5) There are insane gadgets. Like a scientific gadget that detects things beyond the realm of science, a BTRS scanner. And Wendy's ray gun, which sadly has "training wheels." And the big shiny answer ball, the HEYDAR, which plugs directly into Ada the android's head and lets her scan all of the world's information feeds. And the goggles which let Ada see through the Middleman's eyes. Plus teleporters! And the Middlemobile!

6) It's comic-booky, in the right way. Not surprisingly, with comics dominating the movie world, you're also seeing more of a comics influence on television, with shows like Heroes being self-consciously comic-booky. But The Middleman just revels in the best comic-book traditions, like mad science and crazy magic existing side-by-side. (The way you'll have Iron Man hanging out with Doctor Strange in Marvel Comics, for example.) It's not just based on a comic, it's actually a comic book in video form. The non-stop onslaught of superintelligent gorillas, weird aliens, crazy robots and more, reminds me of the best bits of Warren Ellis' Nextwave, Matt Fraction's Casanova and a whole host of great Fred Van Lente comics. That really should be all I need to say: "It's very Van Lente." And that should make you program your TiVo and stay home for it.

Reasons you can give your future self for not watching The Middleman:

Well, it is a bit fluffy sometimes, but it's a comedy, duh. The character of Noser, who apparently lives in the hallway outside Wendy's apartment and recites song lyrics, is a one-joke character who gets less funny every time he shows up. It won't make you debate afterwards as much as Lost or BSG, and it's not quite as clever as Doctor Who at its best. That's all I got.

So The Middleman is on tonight at 10 PM on ABC Family. It's about zombie trout and stuff, and it's going to be awesome. But what else is there to watch this week? Here's what I see:

Tonight at 8: there are two awesome competing movies: the 1990 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie on ABC Family, and White Chicks, the FBI weird prosthetic body transformation film, on FX. Also, neo-noir dimension-hopping show Charlie Jade is on tonight at 3:00 AM on Sci Fi. It's the episode "Dirty Laundry."

Tomorrow night, there's an "HBO First Look" at The Dark Knight at 9:30 on HBO, natch.

Wednesday night at 9, there's a new episode of PBS' science anthology series Nova ScienceNOW, focusing on birdsong and violent space weather. Meanwhile, the History Channel jumps on the Bat-mania bandwagon with Batman Unmasked: The Psychology Of The Dark Knight, also at 9. Here's a clip:

Thursday night, there's a new episode of horror anthology series Fear Itself on NBC at 10. Darren Lynn Bousman's episode, "New Year's Day," focuses on a young woman trying to escape from zombies in a post-apocalyptic landscape. Here's the previous episode, by Stuart Gordon: Also, the Sci Fi Channel is having a marathon of Jake 2.0, which was really like Chuck 1.0, all day Thursday.

Friday night, the Sci Fi Channel once again has its strongest original programming: the Doctor Who episode "Turn Left" at 9, followed by a new Stargate Atlantis, "The Seed." I loved "Turn Left," in which Donna visits an alternate world without a Doctor, almost as much as last week's episode, and you can read my recap here. As for "The Seed," all I really need to tell you is "Jewel Staite-centric episode." Apparently she gets infected by some kind of nasty spore or something. What do you care? It's Jewel Staite, on camera more than usual.

Saturday morning at 10, there's a new Ben 10: Alien Force, "Plumber's Helpers." A pair of alien plumbers kidnap Kevin, thinking he's an alien. That's on the Cartoon Network.

Sunday night at 11:30, the Cartoon Network has a new Venture Bros.: "Tears Of A Sea Cow." Also, ABC Family is showing the quaint old Tim Burton Batman 2:00 PM. To which I say, "Keep bustin'." And FX is showing Batman Begins at 8 PM.

The show's first 13 episodes, or two British seasons worth, will air on BBC America starting August 9 at 9 PM. Halfway through that run, there's a plot twist that opens up the types of monsters we'll be seeing. The time rift turns out to access the future as well as the past, so weird scifi monsters also start turning up. Meanwhile, evolutionary zoology Professor Nick Cutter (Douglas Henshall) tries to contain the creatures. He's also searching for his missing wife, who may have disappeared into that time/space rift, and he discovers some secrets along the way. [IGN]

The Futon Critic was lucky enough to read the script for an episode and says that yes, it really isIt's Always Sunny in space, full of "selfish idiots" who pretty much ruin their own lives and the lives of others in every episode. The cast is made up with a pompus Captain Ron Teague, pilot Jane Beck (who is bipolar), head of security and body-builder Cobaltand, a robot who has been programed by the captain to be a wuss (the captain is afraid of robot uprisings), and the mechanic Pete who is a Manphibian. Lt. Zander Centari is sent in to make sure the crew is up to snuff, and of course it isn't. I hope this show lasts, just so I can hear the character deliver, "I will come to your home and photon the shit out of it!" before it gets canned by censors and other people who can't take a joke. [Futon Critic]

[TV Spoiler]

Bender's Game should hit the shelves at the end of 2008 and the fourth and final Futurama DVD, Into the Wild Green Yonder doesn't have a set release date as of yet.

Tonight

Superhero action-comedy The Middleman is having its most scifi episode to date at 10 PM on ABC Family. This would be a hot contender for the best show on TV during the fall season, but in the summer it's simply unmissable. "A group of peaceful aliens with an addiction to plastic surgery are being hunted down by a homicidal entity. Meanwhile, Ben puts his and Wendy's break-up video on the internet: Wendy is not thrilled." Okay, just take a moment and let that sink in: plastic-surgery-addicted aliens, plus Ben being more of a dick than ever. Equals ruleage. If you don't believe me, here's a new featurette to back me up:

Why is The Middleman banished to 10 PM? Why, so ABC Family can show the all-important Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. Which may actually have some scifi content to it, especially since it features a "mad scientist" named Jonathan Jacobo. Did you know Freddie Prinze Jr. and Sarah Michelle Gellar made a Scooby sequel? I didn't. Wikipedia says Seth Green and Ruben Studdard are in it. And apparently, a direct-to-DVD Scooby 3 is in production. Really?

And at 3 AM, Sci Fi has a new Charlie Jade: "And Not A Drop To Drink." Here's what happens:

Charlie's leads draw him further into the series' dark world, Reena undergoes torture, Jasmine wants to remain free, we get a glimpse of Gammaverse politics, and we finally witness 01 Boxer travelling between worlds.

Movies: AMC has the original Escape From New York at 6 PM, so hurry home from work. Spike is still showing the Star Wars movies. The Sci Fi Channel is showing Lawnmower Man 2 at 3:00 Tuesday morning. I've never seen it, but I bet there's trippy VR sex. But no Pierce Brosnan (sob).

Tuesday

The History Channel has a rerun of The Universe, about stars beyond the Milky Way, at 8 PM. Followed by a new Mega Disasters, about a "deadly jet collision," at 10 PM.

Movies: TCM is showing 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea at 9 AM. HBO has the Simpsons Movie at 8 PM. And TMC has Mission: Impossible III at 2:40 Wednesday morning, written and directed by J.J. Abrams. And at 5:00 AM Wednesday, there's Hold On!, a 1966 British comedy about a rock group who are going to have a spaceship named after them.

Wednesday

The Sci Fi Channel is bringing back a long-canceled show called Scare Tactics, which uses Hollywood special effects to frighten and confuse people. Tonight at 9, a medical assistant thinks she's delivering Satan's baby. Yeah. I know.

There's a new Nova ScienceNOW at 9 PM on PBS, tackling various topics including saving the Hubble Space Telescope, the first primates, and whether we're going to run out of effective antibiotics. Here's a clip:

Or you could watch a new MonsterQuest on the History Channel at 9, all about the "Black Beast of Exmoor." Your call.

Movies: HBO has Galaxy Quest at 2:45, and Encore has the original Stargate at 4:05 PM, just in case you want to bone up on all things Gate-y before Friday's Atlantis premiere.

Thursday

HBO has a half-hour special about the new Batman movie The Dark Knight, at 10:30 PM. Also, we're totally not mentioning that spy show Burn Notice is starting its second season on USA at 10 PM. Even though it does have scifi hero Bruce Campbell in it. And Battlestar Galactica's Tricia Helfer. And there are some pretty scifi-ish MacGyver-y gadgets. Anyway, not mentioning it. Moving on.

Movies: FX has Hellboy at 8 PM and 10 PM. And at midnight, USA is showing The Nutty Professor — the Eddie Murphy version. Isn't that so much better than sleeping? Also, it's not really scifi, but I have to mention Witches of Breastwick 2, another midnight movie, just for the title. Apparently it's about "seductive women." Speaking of seductive, Jeff Goldblum is on fire in The Fly, on Cinemax at three in the morning, and that's followed by Children Of Men at 5:10 AM.

Friday

At 9 PM, the Sci Fi Channel has the best Doctor Who episode of 2008, "Midnight." Without giving away spoilers, it's an episode that looks like it was made for about 50 pence, and it substitutes freakish drama for special effects. I was blown away, as you can see from the link above. Here's the first few minutes:

And then at 10, Stargate Atlantis returns, picking up where it left off last season. Can they rescue Teyla's baby? Also, Robert Picardo from Star Trek: Voyager joins the cast as a regular and immediately starts making everybody's life difficult. We reviewed the first episode a while back, and you can read our write-up here.

Movies: The Disney Channel is showing the live-action Thunderbirds movie, starring America's favorite polygamist Bill Paxton, at 8 PM. And at the same time, the Cartoon Network has Ben 10: Secret Of The Omnitrix.

Saturday

The Cartoon Network has a new Ben 10: Alien Force at 10: the Forever Knights find themselves unable to capture an escaped dragon, so Ben tries to help. Only to feel conflicted when he hears both sides of the story.

Movies: The CW has X-Men at 1 PM. And USA has Jurassic Park at 8.

Sunday

At 11:30 PM, there's a new Venture Bros.: "The Ant Farm, or What Goes Down Must Come Up." And that's about all I can find out about it. It's followed by a new Metalocalpyse at midnight: "Dethdad." Toki hears that his dad is dying, so he journeys to Norway, and the rest of the band comes along to get "album inspiration" and put off actually working on their album.

I'm sure people will put down last night's Doctor Who finale by calling it fanfic, but it was actually much worse — and somewhat better — than that term implies. Russell T. Davies left no fannish button un-pressed, and made so many ridiculous logic-flops in his epic storyline, that he practically elevated fanwank to a new artform. I couldn't help comparing it to last year's finale, which was also ridiculous but didn't require a PhD in Who-ology to follow.

There were things that happened in last night's episode that I read about weeks, or months, ago. But I didn't stick them in morning spoilers, or downgraded them to "crazy rumors," because they just seemed too ridiculous. In particular, the Doctor's regeneration resulting in two David Tennants, one of whom is "human." And then the "human" David Tennant is sentenced to go off with Rose and be her boytoy. I honestly thought even Russell T. wouldn't give Rose such a ridiculously contrived happy ending.

Doctor Who is taking a break next year, with just a few one-off specials instead of a full season. Ostensibly, this is because David Tennant wants a year off, so he can star in Hamlet with Captain Picard. But it's pretty obvious, after this latest season, that the show needs a rest anyway. Even with Davies leaving and new showrunner Steven Moffat coming on, a year off would give the show a much-needed chance to rethink and recharge.

When Who came back in 2005, it was fresh and different than anything that had come before, and it was also accessible to new viewers. But recently, the show has been stuck in a tired formula, and it's giving in to the temptation to reference its own past more and more often.

Take last night's episode: I was startled by how continuity-heavy it was. It was like a clips episode. And I had vaguely wondered, in advance, if the show would mention that Sarah Jane Smith had met Davros, back in 1974. But the show didn't just mention that fact — it went on and on and on about it, in one of Davros' 100 boring speeches about destiny and souls and stuff. (Was it just me, or did Davros talk for about 20 minutes?) Likewise, the episode didn't have to bring in the fact that Torchwood's Gwen Cooper is played by the same actor as the psychic maid in season one's "The Unquiet Dead," but why not? It's not as if there's a story that's being stopped dead in its tracks while we obsess over minor fannish details or anything.

By the way, I don't think it's an insult to call an episode like this "fanfic." I love fanfic, I've written fanfic before, and it fulfills an important purpose. Fanfic is how we get to explore some of the corners of a universe that the "official" canon will never get to. It's exactly where you should have a scene where Davros meets Sarah Jane again and they talk about their first meeting 34 years ago. Fanfic also lets us have the kinds of happy endings we wish our favorite characters could have, but which we know deep down would have us hooting with derision if they actually happened: like getting a magic duplicate of the Doctor for Rose to spend the rest of her life with. (Until she gets sick of him following her around and talking like Catherine Tate. I give it a week.)

So why do I say this almost elevated fanfic to an artform? It's sort of the way Torchwood season one created the most brilliant crystalization of slashfic in television form, actually. It was every fanfic cliche, from the multiple Mary Sues, to the shipper happy ending, to the Doctor suffering emotionally and getting hurt and needing comfort, to the endless processing of minor plot details from old stories. It's like Roy Liechtenstein turning cheesy comics panels into huge paintings — by blowing fanfic up to a huge size and making it larger and more colorful than life, we see what's beautiful about it.

There was a lot to love about this episode, including Catherine Tate having the time of her life as a hybrid Time Lady/human, Daleks shouting in German, the lunacy of the Haagen Dasz device and the dwarf-star-necklace both turning out to be useless, K-9 showing up to save the day for a second, the Annihilation Wave reality bomb being such a ludicrous plot device, the naked Doctor-clone, Captain Jack having some no-doubt-delightful fantasy involving the half-Time-Lord Donna and the two Doctors. There was a pretty great splashy finale buried in all that excess and fannish drool.

Really, this should have been Donna's episode, all about her own Bad Wolf-ization. It's too bad she got a bit lost in the crowd of old companions and random supporting characters. In particular, it's clear now that bringing Rose back was a mistake. She added almost nothing to the past few episodes, except for one or two cool big-gun moments and some random shipper fodder. She was incapable of actually saying a complete sentence without sounding as if she was about to swallow her own tongue, and she drained all the energy out of every scene she was in. The gritty, determined Rose I liked in "The Satan Pit" and a few other episodes was nowhere to be seen, and it was pretty clear that she was only there so she could get her pet faux-Doctor at the end.

I've mentioned that Donna has been growing on me this season, so I was bummed that she got screwed over so badly. I mean, she gets a half hour of being a semi-Time Lord, which seems to involve imitating David Tennant's mannerisms. And then she's dropped back right where she started, being the person who doesn't even notice that the Earth got moved across the universe and dropped into a hole in space/time. Not only that, but she's in a completely untenable situation: nobody can ever ask her what actually happened on her wedding day, or her head will explode. That's going to work out great.And it's all the Doctor's fault, because he was too vain to regenerate normally. He wanted to keep his current cute hairstyle for a while, so he used the severed hand, and condemned Donna to being a ticking time bomb for life. Oh, and did it feel like a Bad Wolf rehash to anyone else? Plus the fact that we were told she would "die" and then it turned out to be a metaphorical death, just like in "Doomsday"?

That's what the Doctor should feel guilty about, not the fact that Sergey Brin sacrificed himself back in the Sontaran episode. Who cares about Sergey Brin? He was a schmuck, and he didn't actually sacrifice his life for the Doctor, he died to save the whole human race. The Doctor would have to be a collossal egotist to think Sergey Brin died for him alone. (Okay, I can believe that.) After a couple of years without pretty much any character development for the Doctor, it's a tad weird to reach for the guilty-Doctor schtick from Paul Cornell's Timewyrm: Revelation. Especially since we just saw, two weeks ago, that everybody including Sergey Brin would have been toast without the Doctor. It's a no-win situation for Sergey.

And what was all that about the Doctor-dupe being emotionally scarred by destroying the Daleks? I literally didn't understand what the Alpha-Doc was going on about there. And the idea that the clone-Doc was in the same state that Christopher Eccleston's Doctor was in at the start of season one was also baffling — wasn't the ninth Doctor supposed to be scarred by years of the Time War, and the destruction of his own people? Not just ten minutes of pushing buttons to make some random Daleks explode? And why was Beta-Doc scarred and not Alpha-Doc? I know, I know, it's just an excuse to let Rose go off with the I-can't-believe-it's-not-the-Doctor. But it felt like the most random thing in a totally random episode.

Finally... I only have one question about Dalek Caan: Why has nobody uploaded a funny rap video to Youtube yet, featuring Grandmaster Melle Mel's rap from Chaka Khan's "I Feel For You," only about Dalek Caan? You know: "Dalek Caan, let me rock you, let me rock you Dalek Caan, let me rock you, that's all I wanna do..." Oh, I have one other question: prophecies? Prophecies?? Is this Battlestar Galactica all of a sudden? Seriously, it was just annoying when Davros kept talking about Dalek Caan the prophet, but then the Doctor started doing it too. I get it that Dalek Caan saw the time vortex (the same way Rose did, and the Master did?) so now he has special insights. But doesn't the Doctor Who universe feature free will? Isn't the future still mutable? Also, the idea that Donna's transformation was so important that echoes stretched backwards in time seemed a bit piffle. Time-travel and timey-whimey are not magic. (Well, maybe they are. But in the Doctor Who universe, they're not supposed to be.)

Okay, to sum up: You pretty much expect one of RTD's season finales to be ridiculous, include a huge deus ex machina, and make no sense. And this one lived up (or down) to your expectations. But it wasn't nearly as much fun as the dancing-Master/Doctor-Gollum episode last year. There was too much standing around and talking, for three or four hours. And too much fan-service. And as for crying... I cried like a drunk toddler during Wall-E, but I mostly laughed during this ep. It really could have been 20 minutes shorter, and woul dhave been much better for it. What did you think?

The Dark Knight:

The Orlando Sentinel posted the first five minutes of The Dark Knight, which director Christopher Nolan showed off a few months ago. The quality isn't that great, but much better than previous postings. Check out that gorgeous swooping shot into the window, right before it explodes afterwards. This sequence, involving the clown-masked baddies robbing a bank, will probably look fantastic in IMAX: The sense of scale makes Gotham City feel more real than it ever has. And I love the Joker's henchmen gossiping about him and mulling over double-crossing him, never realizing he's among them. And how you can tell which guy is the Joker just by his crazy loping gait. [Orlando Sentinel]

Heroes:

Heroes producers Joe Pokaski and Aron Colette spilled more of what's to come on their superhero soap opera. We'll learn who shot flying politician Nathan Petrelli right at the start of the season, but the first episode will actually start off four years in the future — alternating with a few minutes before Nathan is shot. We'll see more of clairvoyant artist Isaac's sketchbook around episodes 9-11, and we'll meet a new artist, with a familiar subject.

Also, since Claire share's Adam's healing abilities, she may also be immortal, like him. When Claire meets her mom again, they'll bond over being superpowered, even as Claire pushes her non-powered stepmom away. We'll see more of the contrast between Claire and Elle the electro girl, with Elle being like Claire's dark side, in season three. And Elle and Claire's uncle Peter will "kinda" meet again. As for Peter, he'll find his near-limitless power starting to corrupt him more.

When Hiro and Adam were in the Company's vault last season, we saw Adam grab a gold key, and there was a wooden horse figurine. The gold key will be super important in Heroes season seven. (If any.) And the wooden horse is full of tiny Greek men. Also, we may see something of the Company's files on the Petrelli family and Matt Parkman.

Claude the invisible guy is still alive, but we won't know for a while whom Claude was hiding from Noah when Noah shot him. Also, we'll learn more about the Haitian's life and character this year.

If there had been a second half to season two, we would have seen Peter try to rescue the plucky Irish barmaid Caitlin from the alternate future she was stranded in — but he'll be too busy in season three dealing with other problems. (Bros before hos, in other words.) In season three, we'll either learn what happened to Peter and Nathan's dad, or more about Linderman's wife. We will see Arthur Petrelli in a flashback by episode eight.

We'll continue to see Suresh trying to come up with technobabble terms for people's powers (which makes it sound like he won't actually die, as some have feared.) [Comic Book Resources

Papa HRG takes Claire to school in a new Heroes promo that just came out. [Heroes Spoilers]

Brea Grant, who plays Hiro's arch-nemesis speedster Joy, says she steals something Hiro needs for his quest. And her character will intersect with other main characters besides Hiro, and might actually do the right thing some of the time — even as some of our heroes will find themselves doing the wrong thing occasionally. Whenever she goes into a room, there's a blast of air blown onto everyone and then suddenly she's standing there. She sticks around at least as far as the sixth episode of the season. [Entertainment Weekly]

Doctor Who:

Here are a few more images from Saturday's Doctor Who season finale. Looking at these pics, I have one question: When Captain Jack meets Davros, is the immortal rogue going to hit on the Daleks' creator? (That would be so great!) [BlogtorWho]

And here's a snippet from the episode's script:
FRANCINE: What are all those numbers?
MARTHA stands, starts hoisting the Indigo Project
MARTHA: Grid reference. Now Jack's explained the base code, I know how this teleport works. I think. But you stay indoors, there's no Daleks on this street, you should be all right, just keep quiet. [Planet Gallifrey]

And here's a super brief clip from the episode, which follows on from the clip we showed earlier, of Sarah Jane, Jackie and Mickey in the clutches of the Daleks. [Spoiler TV]

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles:

We may see more of Jonathan Jackson as Kyle Reese in the Terminator TV show. (He popped up in the future segments of the episode "Dungeons And Dragons.") [TV Guide]

Smallville:

The first two episode titles of Smallville season eight are "Odyssey" and "Plastique." That second title leads people to speculate we'll meet Plastique, a DC Universe villain from the Firestorm and Captain Atom comics. (Didn't she date Captain Atom for a while?) Plastique wore a very skintight costume made out of plastic explosive, which she could trigger at will — but later she gained the less-clunky power of projecting explosive blasts at people. Also, she was a Quebec separatist. Meanwhile, it sounds as though Lex's disappearance leaves a power vacuum in Metropolis, which a ton of new villains rush into. That brings both Oliver and Clark to Metropolis to sort things out. [Babettew54]

Meanwhile, remember how we told you that extraterrestrial powerhouse Doomsday, aka Davis Bloome, was going to be a sexy bartender who flirts with Lois? Apparently he's also a paramedic — or maybe the "bartender" thing was just for his audition scene. He's now being described as a charismatic paramedic who confronts the ominous darkness within himself in his spare time. Everybody needs a hobby, I guess. Also, Tess, the woman who takes care of the missing Lex Luthor's affairs, is actually acting CEO of LuthorCorp. [TVZine]

Also, the theme of this season is "double identities," and we'll see Clark evolving the "Superman" identity as he tries to maintain the semblance of a normal life while fighting baddies. [TV Guide]

Stargate Atlantis:

Stargate: Atlantis will revisit the Weir storyline that was left hanging in in season four's "Be All My Sins Remembered" — but will do it without Torri Higginson, who refused to come back. But that episode will also mark the return of Fran. We'll also be catching up with Jeanie. Also, new female characters in SGA season five include Nicole "Dax" DeBoer as Dr. Alison Porter, and Leela Savasta as Capt. Vega. [TV Squad]

In the fifth new SGA episode, Ronon undergoes a terrible ordeal when his former friend Tyre captures him and delivers him to the Wraith. It's up to Ronon's friends to plan a rescue mission. [Spoiler TV again]

Besides the Justice gang, Souders also confirmed the return of Cyborg from the Teen Titans. Will he be a new addition to DC's Super Friends?

Souders also spilled what we've all been been expecting since featured characters have been jumping off the Smallville Titanic one after the other: this season will focus on the relationship between Lois and Clark. Clark gets a job at the Daily Planet (which was hinted at in the season finale). "The camaraderie as they work side-by-side that everyone loves from the DC Comics and all the Superman lore is going to come to fruition this year," Souders told TV Guide. "The two of them are thrown together in some unfortunate situations for Clark. She becomes a little bit of an obstacle to him saving the world, when he's on a deadline."

Sounds like a predictable year. Let's hope they switch things up and let Doomsday murder the doe-eyed Clark Kent and then have his way with feisty Lois.

[TV Guide]

According to Galactica Sitrep, the TV movie has already offered a contract to Dean Stockwell, who plays the atheist cylon Brother Cavill. Other actors that the studio is approaching include Michael Trucco, Aaron Douglas, Grace Park, Michael Hogan and Katee Sackhoff. What do all of those actors, except Katee Sackhoff, have in common? Well, they're all very good-looking people. Oh yeah, and they play cylons. Could we be getting some juicy cylon backstory? (But how can we do that without Tricia Helfer?) Espenson seems to have an interesting handle on the cylon culture, and the fact that the cylons can share memories and traits among different members of the same model. [Galactica Sitrep]

Tonight

As usual, the week's TV highlight is a new episode of superhero show The Middleman, at its new time of 10 PM on ABC Family. This time around, the Middleman's sidekick Wendy is supposed to learn fighting from Sensei Ping, but he's kidnapped by a band of Mexican Wrestlers — who also get their hands on the Middleman himself. If you like fun, then I highly recommend The Middleman — I had high hopes for the series, but it's actually surpassed them, mostly thanks to Natalie Morales' engaging performance and the incredibly high-density clever scripts. But don't take my word for it, here's what Henry Jenkins has to say. He's a professor, after all:

The scripts for the series, not to mention the comics, are full of one laugh out loud one-liner after another, most of them playing on precise and pithy references to popular culture: I haven't seen a script this dense with injokes since early Joss Whedon... The performances consistently live up to the quality of the script: everyone gets a few memorable lines and moments in the spotlight in the opening episode and I can't wait to see where the characters go from here.

And here's a trailer for the new episode:

Also tonight, Spike is showing Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones. The six Star Wars films are appearing almost every night on Spike this week, so if you missed their earlier showings, you can stop panicking and start watching the rise and fall of Anakin.

And at 3 AM (!!) the Sci Fi Channel is showing a new (to Americans) episode of dimension-shifting noir show Charlie Jade. Charlie Jade thinks that 01 Boxer, the dimension-jumping psycho, killed Elliott Krogg, who's become the scapegoat for a bombing that killed a lot of people. Meanwhile, back in Charlie's dystopian home dimension, Jasmin is grappling with the fact that a woman of her social rank is not supposed to be self-sufficient, and she has to decide whether to use sexual favors to survive.

At almost the same time Tuesday morning (3:15), Cinemax is showing My Super Ex-Girlfriend, to get you in the mood for Hancock. Marvel at Hollywood's cluelessness, and maybe get a few chuckles out of an airborne Uma Thurman.

Tuesday

The ever-reliable History Channel is serving up yet another dose of paranoia and mega-science, with a new episode of Mega Disasters at 10 PM. It's about "airborne attack," and it may make you want to wear a breathing mask if you live in the city. Here's the description:

Anthrax is the most feared of all the biological weapons—spores entering the body through the lungs are lethal. In 2001, a simple letter, sent through the US mail, paralyzed a nation, when anthrax spores were found inside. Experts predict that anthrax released over a populated area would result in unprecedented loss of life—a few pounds of anthrax released under the right conditions could kill hundreds of thousands of people. Will anthrax be used to create a worldwide disaster?

There's also a rerun of The Universe, focusing on the moon, at 8 PM.

AMC is showing the Don Knotts space comedy, The Reluctant Astronaut, at 3:45. Here's a giant chunk of that movie:

Wednesday

Tonight it's the battle of the science programs! Two different shows are airing at 9 PM — will you watch the respectable, highbrow science of Nova ScienceNow on PBS? Or a new MonsterQuest on History, focusing on "Super Rats"? Well, let's see... Nova ScienceNow includes segments on personal DNA testing, pulling excess carbon out of the atmosphere, which are sort of hot-button topics right now. On the other hand, MonsterQuest has evidence that rats used to be huge — and these massive, cat-sized rats are making a comeback. And they have an appetite for anything... even human flesh!!

Hmmm... serious science. Or cat-sized people-eating rats. What will it be? Does this sample of Nova ScienceNow help?

Another scheduling smackdown: FX is showing I, Robot (the Will Smith movie) at 5:30, and TMC has Starman, the movie about a widow and an alien on the run, at 6:30. Somehow, I'm not guessing that's much of a dilemma, for anyone who gets TMC.

Thursday

Tonight at 10 PM, there's a new episode of horror anthology series Fear Itself: "Eater," directed by Stuart Gordon. (Director of everything from Robot Jox to Reanimator.) In "Eater," a rookie cop has to watch over a serial killer called the "Eater," but her fellow cops start acting weird and she realizes nobody is whom they seem. (This website says "Eater" already appeared June 5, but the TV listings and IMDB both say it's a new episode as of this Thursday.)

The Sci Fi Channel is showing episodes of the classic Twilight Zone all day today and tomorrow. I wonder if they'll show that one with the twist ending? And the aliens?

We've talked a lot about how much we love C.S.A.: Confederate States of America, the alternate history movie about a world where the South won the Civil War. It's a wicked satire, but also a sharp-edged mirror on our real world, because it shows how different its alternate world isn't in many ways. And now you can check it out for yourself, on IFC at 7:45.

After showing the first two Planet Of The Apes movies a bunch lately, AMC is finally showing a different one, Escape From The Planet Of The Apes. Unfortunately, it's at 5 AM. Get up early and psych yourself up for work with some ape-action.

At 12:10 Friday morning, Encore has 12 Monkeys, Terry Gilliam's weird time-traveling plague movie starring Brad Pitt and Bruce Willis. I'm probably the only person who didn't like this movie — I found it a little too precious, and felt like it was an inferior remake of Gilliam's Brazil. But maybe I'll take this chance to watch it again and see if I was too harsh. And your chance to watch it again and remind yourselves how wrong I am.

And then at 12:30 AM Friday, Cinemax has Alien Sex Files: Aliens Gone Wild. Here's the plot description: "Lusty extraterrestrials explore human sexuality." It doesn't actually mention anal probes at all. Also, the HBO page says the movie features "gorgeous, sex-starved aliens" who cause an "explosion of erotic activity."

And at 3 AM, TCM is showing the 1941 version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. See where the Hulk came from, and brace yourself for some classic 1940s science horror. Or you could just hold out for an hour and watch Mortal Kombat on TNT at 4 AM.

Friday

Tonight at 7 PM, ION Television has Gadgetman, starring Marina Sirtis from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Admit it, you wondered what she'd been up to apart from the Trek movies and occasional Voyager cameos. And just look at this great synopsis: "When a gadget-inventing professor is kidnapped for his latest invention, a wallet computer, his son enlists the help of a detective who is not all she appears to be." Marina probably shows whole new facets of her personality here. Or you could just watch The Fantastic Four and Spider-Man 2, back to back on FX.

Also, the Sci Fi Channel has more Twilight Zone all day today, plus all evening until midnight. Clear lots and lots of space on that TiVo, and then cancel those weekend plans.

Continuing its excursion into the later Apes movies, AMC is showing Battle For The Planet Of The Apes, at 9 AM.

Saturday

At 10:30 AM on Cartoon Network, there's a new Transformers: Animated, the first half of a two-parter called "A Bridge Too Close."

In his plan to take over Cybertron, Megatron captures Bulkhead. The Autobots plan a rescue party and discover that the Blue Racecar is actually an Autobot called Blurr.

And here's a chunk of the episode, complete with a funny Decepticon initiation ceremony:

Also, Encore has the underrated RoboCop 2 at 10:50, followed by Stargate, the movie that launched a huge TV franchise, at 1 PM and 10 PM. And Sci Fi is showing Resident Evil at 5 and Resident Evil: Apocalypse at 7.

Sunday

We'll never get Robert Rodriguez's version of Barbarella, but at least you can watch his movie The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lava Girl today at noon on the Disney Channel, and you can try and picture Rose McGowan in silver lame kinky boots in the middle of all that. Rodriguez collaborated with his kids to create this superhero fantasy, which is supposed to be one of the worst movies ever, but I've never seen it. Maybe it's only really in the bottom 20 percent.

There's another new Venture Bros. tonight at 11:30, called "What Goes Down, Must Come Up," but no other info is available. And then at midnight there's a new Metalocalypse, called "Dethsources." Those are both part of Cartoon Network's Adult Swim lineup.

Probably about 42 minutes plus commercials — which means a full 20-plus minutes may be cut out of the episode. The Sci Fi Channel famously cut some of the best parts out of last season's Who finale, "The Last Of The Time Lords" — including an amazing dance sequence. But that episode was only slightly longer than average, not 20 minutes longer.

Currently, it's not even clear when Sci Fi will air the episode. The channel's Schedulebot has the episode "Forest Of The Dead" airing this Friday, and then no Doctor Who on July 4. And then the channel is airing "Midnight" on July 11, and has "TBD" down for July 18 and 25... which presumably means the episodes "Turn Left" and "The Stolen Earth". That would put "Journey's End" on August 2nd, and the Sci Fi Channel hasn't announced its August schedule yet. So is it possible that Sci Fi will allow an extra half hour for "Stolen"? Or just make it a two-hour event, with even more commercials than usual? Yes, it's possible. The main constraint is that Sci Fi is showing new episodes of Stargate: Atlantis right after Who on Friday nights this summer. So for the episode to run long, it would have to start earlier in the evening, at 8 instead of 9. Right now, Sci Fi is re-running magical realism show Joan Of Arcadia on Fridays at 8 in July. So pretty much our only hope is that Sci Fi might ditch Joan for a week, and give us a heavily commercial-padded 90- or 120-minute running of the finale. (And then edit it down for reruns.) But I don't hold out much hope, honestly.

Oh, and here's a video about the making of the episode. We ran the actual clip from the episode in morning spoilers the other day, but you may not have seen the whole thing, from kids' show Blue Peter:

[TV Squad]

In the Middleman world, there are plastic surgery addicted aliens, gorillas addicted to mafia movies, and more. But the most random thing Morales has had to do throw down with a fish. "The strangest thing I've had to do as Wendy is punching a fish," Morales explained. "As Natalie it would be getting into a fight with a fish that wasn't actually there." What did this fish do to Morales? Apparently it was part of an illegal energy drink conspiracy where evil creators of an energy drink put a venom that turns you into an undead trout zombie into their drink, along with the antidote. The consumer becomes addicted, so if you don't have more of these drinks you become a trout zombie.

In other Middlmania, Morales explained a bit more on Kevin Sorbo's role in an upcoming episode. "Kevin Sorbo was great on the set," Morales said. "He is awesome he is a Middleman that came before Matt [Kessler] and he's come back to help us out on something. Its a really interesting role and the script is amazing... And the villain is really awesome. The villain in this episode is The Candle and he has a ray gun that can melt a melt a whole city." Besides Sorbo, another new face on set was Todd Statchwik (The Riches) who joins the cast for an episode.

Expect more character development from Wendy Watson, including a new love interest in the very next episode, "You're going to see more character development from Wendy, and loads more layers of her personality." Including a deeper look into Wendy's serious Daddy issues. Morales speculates there may be a big cliff-hanger Poppa reveal in the shows finale (which was a large part of The Middleman comic).

We asked why Wendy sometimes wears glasses and sometimes goes without. Said Morales, "It's kind of a Clark Kent thing. Whenever I'm doing Middleman-type work they are off, but sometimes I take them off when I'm not working."

Natalie Morales gets to deliver most of the show's funniest lines, and she also understands what her role means to other girls out there, "I like the fact that they wanted a Latina for the girl, and that I didn't have to play the stereotypical smoking hot Latina. Wendy is a regular girl, like a lot of my friends." Down with stereotpyical characters and up with the fish beatings. Middleman airs on Mondays at 10 PM, on ABC Family.